An Equestrian Rogue

“Okay that’s a fucking lie, I know it has to be!” Thorne exclaimed as he nearly choked on the meat he had shoved into his mouth.

The Master merely chuckled and waved his hand. He had lain down near the fire, his hooved limbs curling under him. Thorne sat with a ragged poncho thrown over him. It was more akin to a rug with the patterns and colors it sported--almost like it was straight from the Incan era back on his world. If it wasn’t for his Master claiming it was just some cloth, he may have thought it a relic of some kind.

“It’s true. Two of the princesses are able to control the sun and moon and stars.”

“So what happens when I kill them?”

“No idea!”

“Okay you’re an idiot. Great. My employer isn’t thinking things through.” Thorne took the beige clay cup he had been offered that was full of water and drank deeply of it. He sighed out, thankful for it. “No offense, but that… If that’s true, and you want them dead--again, I’m not asking why but I’m just questioning the… okay yeah I guess I’m asking why. Fuck.”

“No offense is taken, but I have this feeling you’re already thinking of ways to get out of this.” The Master said with a roll of his eyes.

“Maybe.” Thorne replied matter-of-factly. “It’s just… that seems more like the power of gods than… Horses.”

“Ponies.”

“Right, whatever.”

The Master rose up from his seated position in order to refill the cup for his newly acquired servant. Thorne was appreciative of it and nodded in thanks.

“So these ponies have this magic and you want me to go kill them. Alright. I’ve taken impossible odds before, but I was kind of hoping to avoid battling deities. I don’t mind going and trying to punch god, but I need more incentive!”

The centaur burst out laughing at that. “Ha! Punch god!” He bellowed. “Ah. Oh human, you are truly funny. Please, their magic pales in comparison to other powerful practitioners of it! Trust me, nothing bad will happen to this world. There will be others that take up their mantle. Or their duties.”

“If you say so…” Thorne glanced away as he took a sip, disbelieving that.

“As far as incentive, I’m amazed you’ve not asked a price--I’ve merely held you hostage. You seem to not value your life--” The Master was interrupted as Thorne held up his motorized hand, wishing to speak.

“I do not value my life. Let’s clear that air right now. As I said before: I adhere to rules. And if you weren’t willing to follow them, I was ready to die right then and there. In my line of work, you are always at the ready.”

“A sad existence, but you make a welcome tool.”

‘Not the first time I’ve heard that one.’

“What would you like? Money? Power? Women?”

“All of the above sound great.”

The centaur blinked. “Truly a creature of selfishness. Very well. Kill your targets and I am sure we can work something out before sending you home--” against the Master was interrupted.

“Send me home? I was on my deathbed. No, no sending me home. Out of the question.”

The centaur balked at this. “I have several questions, but you refuse to answer them and I don’t want to torture them out of you. So you don’t wish to go home. I suppose that is good, because I don’t rightfully know how to send you back. I assumed in this quest you’d die, first and foremost. I also thought you’d take enough time for me to figure out a way to reverse this transaction.”

Thorne remained silent but nodded, understanding the feeling. He didn’t care what happened. He wasn’t going back.

‘Only way is forward.’

The mage rose yet again and walked over to a nearby shelf, grabbing a trinket. He tossed it to the human who caught it with a few juggles. “A totem to keep the one who controls the moon from your dreams.”

Thorne had been taking a sip of water and admiring the token. The moment ‘keep from your dreams’ was said, he spit his water into the fire, causing it to roar in protest. “I’m sorry, what?!” he yelled.

“What? She has the ability to see into dreams. And she can interrogate you within them.” The Master said in a calm response. “It would be best if you appear as a dreamless sleeper. Keep that totem on you while you sleep.”

Thorne rubbed his fingers over it. It was a wooden moon, carved with the appearance of an almost spiteful face into it. It was grinning with a pointy nose and wide, madness-filled eyes. It reminded him of something back home. “The Crooked Moon…” he said to himself.

“An intriguing name. It does look rather crooked.” The Master smirked. “Remind you of something, did it? Your wide-eyed expression gives it away.”

‘Shit.’

“Hrm. Not to get sentimental, but yes. It reminded me of fun times with friends. Didn’t take you for one to read expressions, Master.” Thorne replied as he let his face go to neutral.

The centaur shrugged. “Easily done and I’ve had a few life-times to study.”

‘Ah, so I’m dealing with ancient and magic-infused creatures. Throw a dragon into the mix and I’m going to lose my damn mind.’

Thorne poured over the tiny wooden carving a moment before taking his necklace off. He undid the chain and slipped the totem onto the metal, sliding it all the way down. Snapping it back together, he slung it back around his neck. “There. Glad it had a little hoop. Nice forethought.”

“I figured it’d be easier to slip it around the neck. Plus I saw your medallion and thanked providence you came with a way of holding it,” The Master waved his hand dismissively. “Now. You’ve been given your information, food, water, cloth for travel, and a rinse to get the blood off you. It’ll be a three day trek until you reach the sea.”

Thorne raised an eyebrow at that.

“You’ll find an abandoned ship that can be crewed by one. Take it and sail into the sun. You’ll find the lands of Equestria within two days. From there, you will be on your own. Though, if you need to report something to me, you can contact me by tapping where the curse mark resides. You’ll need a mirror and no light in the room.”

“Right… Magic. Got it. Time table on this mission?”

“I expect you to complete it within the year.”

“Year? Huh. I usually get so much less time…” Thorne said with an appreciative tone.

“I promised you your freedoms. And I’ve learned from previous attempts a foolish bug made upon trying to infiltrate Canterlot… It takes time and patience.”

‘Foolish bug?’ Thorne raised his eyebrow again. ‘I suppose I’ll learn about that at some point…’

“You are free to leave right now if you wish. Just know this: Never think of betraying me. The moment you do, I will know. And the curse will take you. You’re cunning and devious. I can see it in your eyes,” The Master squinted at the human. “You will try to have it removed. Just know that if anyone discovers that upon your person, they will kill you. It is a dark mark that has been used on assassins before. And your enemies will know of its history--though they’ve not seen it in a thousand years.”

Thorne would step back and lower his head, placing his left hand over his chest. He bowed. “Of course, my Master. Your will be done.”

“Good, good. You’re free to stay until morning,” The Master said as he shifted to grab another piece of meat for himself.

“You’re too generous, Master. But I have much work to do. If you’ll excuse me. I’ll give you regular updates when I can.”

‘I don’t want any more charred meat or mud water, thanks.’ Thorne to himself as he turned, wrapping himself as much as he could with the poncho before leaving the cavern. It was starting to get dusk. He knew the cold would come in the desert. ‘Better than staying in that arrogant beast’s hospitality…’

Once he was out of the cavern, he gazed about. Desert for several directions with no signs or landmarks. ‘Hmm… Fuck.’

“Before I go, Master! Which way to the ocean?”

The centaur looked at the man like he was an idiot. “Just keep following the direction of the rising sun. Same as when you get on the water.”

“Right. On it!”

‘If the sun set there, then it must rise there. Right?’ He looked to the setting sun and then to the opposite of it. ‘Simple!’

With that, Thorne took off into a mad sprint. He was exhausted and malnourished, he could tell. But he knew survival. He had his training. He would see this world in all of its splendor.

And then leave a bloody trail as he lined his pockets with treasure.

‘Or I could just die in the desert!’

He looked about. Still nothing. He had passed a few bones of other creatures, wondering if that trip to the library would give him any insight to some of the creatures. How the desert could be so empty, yet somehow have this centaur race in it, he had no idea. He also wondered what were some of the other creatures he had spied upon the tapestry within his Master’s abode. They had looked like some type of flying species, almost kind of like bats. But they were far more muscular and menacing.

It was the middle of the night. The moon was high in the sky and the temperature was cold. However, it wasn’t what he was expecting. He was expecting a freezing chill, but this was just a cool night. He had complained about shrinkage, but decided he wasn’t going to get any tail--a joke that made him question if that was appropriate if the nation he was about to intrude upon was full of ponies. Then it began a long debate on whether that would happen. Or if he’d allow himself to get that desperate.

It culminated in him cursing at the moon and demanding this nation had better have all the amenities he was used to. Those being cigars, booze, and women. He was sure they had women but what type was the question. This led him back into a circle of logic and debates and questioning of morality and sensibility.

It had been several miles, he assumed, of him walking. He had been careful to not fall into the trap of going in circles since he was right-side dominant. Though he called himself ambidextrous, he still favored his right heavily. It was grueling, walking barefooted through the sand. He had lost his footing several times, nearly costing him the spoils his Master had given him. Though when he looked at what was given, he realized it would need to be rationed. And it didn’t look too appetizing. A canteen of water, cured meats and a few greens that would likely spoil in a week. But he couldn’t complain. It was balanced, he gave his Master that.

Still he wondered how he was keeping so warm. It actually felt like his body was being covered, even if he was mostly bare. Then he happened to examine his poncho, as if that might be the reason. But magic existed in this world. Feats of wondrous things could be done here. He came to the conclusion that had to be it; it had to be protecting him from the chill. He wondered if it would also keep him from overheating in the heat of the day.

Though deep down, a part of him wondered if that was just the weather of this world. Yet another thing to ask locals about. If he found any. He doubted he would encounter anyone on his trek east--or rather, ‘in the direction of the rising sun’. At least not until he got out of this desert. And the ocean.

‘The ocean.’

He thought to himself again. ‘Will I encounter a naval blockade if this is where that fucking summoner has been banished to? Surely they might have guards patrolling the waters… But if this is a land of ponies, then how do they operate things like a boat? That asshole said there was a boat waiting for me…’

He continued walking as he thought, careful and mindful of any listing his body did. ‘And just what about this boat? How long has it been sitting there, unused?’

His stomach growled in protest. ‘No, shut up. We can last longer. No food until tomorrow. We’re fine, damn it. Besides, I don’t want itchy ass cleft before the water. Granted, I wouldn’t want to rub salt water on it… Will it be salt water? Just how Earth-like is this planet... ‘

He brought his free hand up and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The mechanical digits were freezing and it broke him from his neuroticism. “Fuck!” He howled out as he whipped the hand down to his side. “Lord that’s cold!... Wait…” He brought his hand back up and touched his forehead. It felt like ice. Yet the weather seemed hospitable. “Yep. Magic. Ha! Take that, I got a magical blanket!”

Nothing responded to him.

“Oh fuck I’m talking to myself already… Gods damn it.”