Spitfire made several decks of white cards to keep them all organized and shuffled each before dealing them out one by one to each of the participants, including herself. None of them touched their cards until Spitfire was done dealing. But before they could commence, Fleetfoot spoke up.

"Are we gonna do any like "punishments for whoever has the least points?" Fleet asked. Spitfire let out a laugh and nodded.

"Sure, loser has to drink a shot glass of ghost pepper hot sauce." Spitfire ruled. Soarin's eyes widened.

"You have ghost pepper sauce?" Soarin asked, a bit of worry in his tone. Dash smirked at his anxious state.

"What's the matter Soarin, can't take the heat?" She said jokingly. Soarin rubbed the back of his head.

"I just.....don't like spicy or hot stuff too much." Soarin said sheepishly. Fleetfoot let out a snort.

"Translation: I will shrivel up into dust when I lose and have to drink the sauce." Fleetfoot said with a rascally grin. The others all shared a laugh at Soarin's expense.

"Okay, let's just get on with this then." Soarin said as he picked up his deck of cards and began to read them, prompting the others to do the same.

The expressions that bloomed on the faces of the participants ranged from cautious intrigue, to looks of horror, to blatant confusion of what they were reading.

"Ooooh, I think I'll like this game." Fleetfoot said as she flipped through her cards. Spitfire let out a short chortle as she read a few of her cards.

"Nicely done Dash, I think you found a good one." Spitfire complimented. Dash was too distracted by reading her own cards to properly respond. After looking at all of her dirty, offensive, and obscene cards, she looked over at Soarin and held in a chuckle upon seeing his expression.

Soarin's mouth was wide open, and his pupils the size of pinpoints. He eventually looked over to Dash and finally closed his mouth to speak again.

"This.....this is messed up. I'm gonna have to bleach my eyes after tonight, aren't I?" Soarin said with a hint of shock in his tone. Spitfire chuckled.

"Welp, that's as good a sign as any to begin, why don't you start Dash?" Spitfire offered. Dash nodded and took a black card from the deck in the center of the table. The game was going clockwise, so after Dash was done, it would go to Spitfire, then Fleetfoot, and then lastly Soarin before the round would finish. Dash cleared her throat before going to read the first card, and it was a doozy...

Dash's face contorted as she tried to hold in a laugh. She glanced at the others all around the table, all of whom were leaning forward on the table, waiting.

"Well, go on Dash! Read!" Fleetfoot said with vigor as she slammed her drink on the table. Dash hesitated a little more.

"C'mon Dash, it can't possibly be that bad." Spitfire encouraged. Dash shook her head.

"No, it's much worse." Dash said, her eyes wide.

"Just read it, Dash." Soarin nudged. Dash rolled her eyes and sighed.

"How am I compensating for my tiny penis?" Dash said with a deadpan expression and voice. Soarin leaned back with a shocked expression, Spitfire simply let out a sharp exhale, and Fleetfoot spit out her cider before bursting into laughter.

"Hahahahaha! Are you hiding something Dashie? I didn't know you had one!" Fleetfoot said giddily. Soarin and Spitfire gave eachother annoyed glances before looking through their cards.

"Let's just get on with it, we've wasted enough time." Spitfire said as she looked through her hand. She eventually landed on one that made her crack a smile and placed it in front of Dash, face down on the table.

Fleetfoot let out many giggles before eventually finding a card and throwing it in front of Dash.

"Mine is so bad." Fleetfoot said meekly as she hid her face behind her cards.

Soarin was still looking at his cards, flipping through each with a slightly horrified expression.

"Geez Soarin, did you get the rape cards?" Fleetfoot asked. Soarin gave her a look that simply screamed "The fuck is wrong with you"

"Come on Soarin, just give me a card, I don't care how bad it is, let's just keep going." Dash said, hoping to calm him down. Soarin eventually let out a sigh before just throwing a random card at her.

"You sure you picked the right one Clipper?" Fleetfoot teased. Soarin gave her another glare.

"No." He simply responded. Dash rolled her eyes as she shuffled the three response cards. Eventually finishing the shuffle and giving the others another few glances.

"You guys better make me laugh with this." Dash said as she took note of their expressions. Soarin looked slightly worried (and a little ill), Fleetfoot was holding in giggles, and Spitfire simply sipped her cider with a smile. Dash turned over the first card and read it.

"How am I compensating for my tiny Penis?...... An Ugly Face?" Dash read with a slightly surprised tone, looking at the others with a frown. "Who played this?!" Dash said angrily.

"You can't find out until you pick the winner, so keep reading." Spitfire said as she shook her head. Dash simply leaned back and continued.

"Next......Depression." Dash said with a flat look. Soarin shook his head. "That's just sad." Dash nodded in agreement before flipping the final card.

"A.....Micropenis?" Dash said with a beyond confused expression. The others sharing her reaction.

"So, you're compensating for you small wang, with ANOTHER small wang?" Fleetfoot asked. The others laughed in response before Dash finally decided the winner.

"I think I'll go with the Micropenis!" Dash called out. Fleetfoot and Spitfire both remained quiet and exchanged looks. Soarin's eyes widened as he realized he won.

"Oh, well, I guess that's a point for me then?" Soarin said with a smirk. Fleetfoot slammed her hoof on the table.

"Are you serious? How?" She shouted before taking another swig of cider. Spitfire then reached over and took away Fleetfoot's bottle.

"I think that's enough for now Fleet. Now give him his point Dash so I can have a turn." Spitfire said. Dash gave the black card to Soarin, signifying that he now had one point. Spitfire also grabbed a black card from the deck and began to read.

"Forget Everything you know about Blank, because now we've supercharged it with Blank!" Spitfire read dramatically.

"So, we play two cards this time?" Soarin asked. Spitfire nodded.

"Yeah, place the first card you want to be read on the bottom when you give it to me." Spitfire clarified. The others nodded and began selecting their cards.

Fleetfoot was the first to put her cards on the table, followed by Dash, with Soarin once again hesitating. Spitfire groaned at his inaction.

"Soarin, it's fine, we're all friends here, so you don't need to be so....cautious." Spitfire assured him. Fleetfoot smirked at him.

"Or, are you afraid of offending Dashie?" Fleetfoot teased. Soarin's cheeks turned crimson and he glanced at Dash, who simply rolled her eyes and gave him a warm smile.

"Just play it Soarin, it's okay." Dash said. Soarin finally selected his cards and placed them in front of Spitfire. Spitfire tried her best to shuffle them without separating the pairs. After shuffling, she cleared her throat and began reading.

"Forget everything you know about...A windmill full of pony corpses......" She began, slightly disturbed by the card, but quickly continued, "....because now we've supercharged it with .....Pedophiles." Spitfire said with a flat expression. The others shared laughter at the VERY dark set of cards. Spitfire continued.

"Forget everything you know about.....Foal Beauty Pageants....because now we've supercharged it with.....my balls on your face..." Spitfire read, barely able to get through the second card before laughing.

"Is that they do it now?" Fleetfoot asked with another drunk giggle. Dash shook her head.

"Don't read to much into it, and keep reading Spitfire." Dash said. Spitfire nodded and read the last pair.

"Forget everything you know about....Reverse Cowfilly, because now we've supercharged it with....The Screams, the Terrible Screams." Spitfire finished with a laugh. The other three also burst into laughter.

"Is that what happens when you have sex, Soarin?" Fleetfoot asked in a joking way. Soarin gave Fleetfoot an annoyed look. Fleetfoot giggled more before making a few thrust motions and screaming like she was getting murdered. Spitfire placed a hoof on her shoulder and signaled for her to stop.

"Keep it down Fleet, we don't want the neighbors to suspect anything." Spitfire told her. Fleetfoot simply laughed again.

"Yeah, cause if they did hear, they'd just expect an orgy!" Fleetfoot laughed again. Soarin and Dash simply rolled her eyes after exchanging a glance at Fleetfoot's drunk antics.

"Who won Spit?" Soarin asked. Spitfire tapped her chin as she re-read her options, and tapped the winning pair.

"Foal Pageants with Balls!" Spitfire called out. Fleetfoot immediately raised her hoof and took the black card as her winning.

"You're up Fleet." Dash said. Fleetfoot nodded and grabbed another black card to read it.

"You've Seen the bearded mare! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, Fillies and Gentlecolts, feast your eyes upon BLLLLLank!" Fleetfoot read the card as dramatically as possible.

The other three knew the routine, and quickly gave her the cards this time, making Fleetfoot act surprised.

"Confident now?" Fleetfoot asked them, especially to Soarin in particular.

"Just read the cards Fleet." Soarin said. Fleet rolled her eyes and did just that.

"Feast your eyes upon....A Tiny Pony?" Fleetfoot said with confusion, "That's....lame." she said with disapproval. She quickly moved on before she could notice Dash making an angry face.

"Feast your eyes upon...the pffffffFFFFFFFF!" Fleetfoot began, but quickly let out a wheeze as she read the rest. The others all laughed at her reaction.

"Come on Fleet, you can do it!" Dash cheered her on as Fleet's face turned red due to her laughing. She eventually got ahold of herself enough to continue reading.

"The...the p-primal ball-slap-ping sex your, mmm, parents are having RIGHT NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!" Fleetfoot burst into further laughter after barely getting through that card. The others all joined in her laughter.

"Okay, that, that was a good one." Soarin said as he failed to contain the massive grin on his face. Dash had her face buried in her hooves on the tables as she trembled due to her laughter, and Spitfire had a hoof on her face as her head was leaned back.

Eventually, Fleetfoot regained her composure enough to continue to the last card.

"And lastly, feast your eyes upon....our first Chimpanzee Princess?" Fleetfoot said in confusion. Soarin was the only one to release a harsh sputter from trying to contain his laugh.

"All I can imagine is a chimp with Celestia's flowing mane." He said with a chuckle. Dash caught on and laughed with him.

"Alright, who wins Fleet?" Spitfire asked. Fleetfoot simply laughed again before lifting up the card that made all of them hysterical.

"I'll take that point." Spitfire said as she grabbed the black card. Fleetfoot rolled her eyes and looked up at Soarin, motioning to the black card pile.

"You're turn, princess." Fleetfoot teased. Soarin rolled his eyes and picked up a black card to read it.

"Blank, good to the last drop. Short and simple, show me what ya got." Soarin said as he looked at the three mares, all of whom started looking for the perfect cards to finish the first round.

Spitfire and Fleetfoot both quickly picked their cards, with Dash taking a little longer. Eventually, all three had submitted their cards, and Soarin shuffled them before getting ready to read them. He gave each of the others a glance before flipping over the first one.

"Saying "I love you", good to the last drop." Soarin read, cautiously eyeing the others. He took note of Dash's little grin.

"Aw, that's adowable!" Fleetfoot gave him another teasing quip. Soarin continued.

"Letting Everypony Down, Good to the last drop." Soarin let out a chuckle as he read it.

"Perfect! Sounds just like you sometimes Soarin!" Fleetfoot said in a sarcastically happy tone.

"Oh snap!" Spitfire responded with a laugh. Soarin glared at the two of them before finishing with the last card.

"P-pulling out, good to the last drop." Soarin snorted midway through reading it, and everyone else laughed up a storm.

"Oh yeah, you savor it don't you!" Fleetfoot said mockingly. Dash put a hoof up.

"Okay Fleet, geez, try not to gross us out too much." Dash said. Soarin laughed as he weighed in his options.

"I gotta go with Saying "I Love You"." Soarin selected. Dash then pumped her hoof into the air.

"Yes!" She cheered before taking the black card. Soarin looked at Dash with a red tint to his cheeks.

"That was your card?" Soarin asked. Dash looked back at him as a blush appeared on her cheeks as well.

"Uh, yeah, I guess." She responded awkwardly. Fleetfoot then snapped them out of it.

"AWWWW! You two are SO CUTE!" Fleetfoot said in a very happy voice. Spitfire waved a hoof to get everypony back on track.

"Okay Okay, that was the first round, and somehow we are ALL TIED!" Spitfire said in shock. They all had one point each. Dash sighed.

"This is gonna be a long game...."

Author's Note

Score:

Rainbow Dash - 1

Soarin - 1

Spitfire - 1

Fleetfoot - 1