A snuggle-tastic nightmare

by xombiekilla

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Horror, Non-consensual, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Princess Cadance
Length: 4315

Can snuggling be considered a form of weapon for ponies to use? Maybe. Maybe it can for a select few that have the made bad choices in life.

The princesses are loved, loved by many and all in their land. However, they're also feared, feared for what they can do to somepony, anypony that crosses them. It would appear that they've got the sense of humor of a wet noodle. Artcraft will learn this lesson the hard way in this story. This is an alternate reality of ponies that do not like pranks at all.

Published 2021-08-31 21:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-31 21:50:00 UTC

Pranking the four princesses.

"Oh yeah, I can't believe I got invited to this year's Grand Galloping Gala. I'm sure all four princesses will be there, too. Perfect." Artcraft was getting ready to leave his home as he held onto his ticket and had a chest intended to pull pranks on somepony. "There's the front gate, and I can't wait!"

"Excuse me, Sir. May I see your ticket, please?" The guard said that as Artcraft showed his ticket, it got hole-punched by the guard with a unique tool to check legit tickets. "Okay, you're good to go; enjoy your night." The guard let him through as he grinned and pulled his chest with him.

Princess Luna

"Oh my, these desserts do look lovely. Tia, Which one would thou prefer?" Luna asked her sister.

"Hmm, that's a tough choice, Sister. I'd say... one of each. Oh, dear. I really should go on a diet, shouldn't I?"

"Not tonight, at least. Just enjoy thineself, okay?"

"Of course, Luna. I shall then." Celestia went to the banquet table to sample some of the ponies' homemade cakes and other sweets. Luna made her way over to a bridge looming over a beautiful Canterlot Gardens pond.

"Perfect, she's isolated and vulnerable. I wonder how well she'd fancy a dip in the water?" Artcraft wore a mask to hide his face as he adorned it with creepy features to spook her. "Yes, that's right, keep your back turned to the lovely scenery."

"This view is breathtaking. A perfect moonlit pond and refreshing atmosphere." Luna sighed in contentment and breathed deeply of the fresh lavender that wafted from the gardens. Little did she realize, Artcraft was slowly approaching behind her. Right at that moment, Artcraft was poised behind Luna who was leaning over the bridge railing to inhale the fresh outside fragrances deeply.

Booga Booga Booga!"

"AAUGHH!?"

Splash!

Luna fell over the railing and went into the water with a resounding splash. As she rose from the water, her once flowing and decorated mane for the occasion was ruined and soggy; a lilypad with a small frog could also be seen on her head- the frog was wearing her crown as it ribbited in confusion.

"Yes! I scored! Ooh!" Artcraft was hoof pumping in the air victoriously as he giggled and ran from the bridge.

"Vile, little heathen! Oh, oh my, this is cold. T-This water is cold!" Luna was shaking her hoof angrily as she was shivering and trying to get out of the pond she was spooked into. She laid down on the pond's shore, facing the rest of the Gala. "I will locate thee. And you shall be punished greatly for this injustice!" Luna yelled out in rage as Artcraft skulked away into the distance.

"One down, three to go."

Princess Celestia

"Oh my goodness, this cake is simply divine. Your recipe for this must be astounding. Oh? Luna's back. Hey Luna, over here!" Celestia then saw three things; Luna's furious scowl on her face, her body, drenched with water, and that lilypad still on her head with the frog wearing her crown. Luna glared at the frog and swiped her crown back, knocking the frog and the lilypad off her head.

"Give me that!" Luna then placed her crown back onto her head as she wrung out her mane, and at least a quart of water was squeezed out of it.

"Luna! Are you okay?"

"Doth it look as if I'm fine to you, Sister?"

Celestia huffed a short but firm breath and said, "no."

"There is a troublemaker amidst these festivities. I just got spooked and fell into the nearby pond."

"You mean the one that's in our gardens? Oh, dear. You poor thing. Let me go and get a towel for you; it's cold around this time of year." Celestia then used her magic to grab a folded towel that rested next to the punchbowl and gave it to Luna.

"Thank you, Dear sister." Luna then dried herself off as she decided not to go sightseeing outside the Gala anytime soon.

"I can't believe that this is what she's afraid of. Oh, this'll be great. And I already know Twilight's fear as well." Artcraft waited for Celestia to return to the banquet table as he set down a cage with a cloth and lifted it, revealing a hopping chicken inside.

"Alright then, little guy. Here's your mission, spook the non-existent pants off of Celestia." The cage was set; all he needed now was a distraction, a reason for her to investigate. The chicken was already scared and confused as it thrashed about in its cage, which got Celestia's attention as her left ear twitched.

"That's funny, but I could have sworn that sounded like a- oh no, Celestia. It's fine. Just too much work during daytime court can mess with your mind." Artcraft then jostled the cage, urging her to inspect the noise source. As she made her way around the table, she saw the cell as the door slid open, revealing a freaked-out chicken as it was screeching chicken-ese at her. Celestia's face turned pale than her already white fur as a cold sweat bled from her forehead. "I-It's a-a.. a CHICKEN! Aaahhh!"

The chicken then flew up as it got in her face, which did not help ease her stress. Celestia whinnied in fright as she backed up to the banquet table and fell back onto it, splitting it in half and causing all the sweets and cake from either side to collapse. She looked like a doughy, icing blob at the center of a broken-down table as she was freaking out. Luna and Twilight both came running as soon as they heard her screaming.

"Celestia!?" They both said together.

"Yes. Two down, two to go." Both alicorns then rushed over to her aid.

Princess Twilight

"Celestia! Are you okay? We got you." Twilight said as she was there with Luna.

"Help! Chicken! Please, get it out of here." Celestia screamed as she was silenced and buried under the large mounds of sweets and pastries.

"Don't worry, Celestia. We'll get you out of there." Twilight said as she and Luna used their magic to pull Celestia's cake and pastry-stained body out from the now ugly glob of mashed sweets onto the table. Poor Celestia was shaking like a leaf and had a frightful and traumatized look in her eyes.

"Tia. How many hooves do you see?" Luna was waving her hoof in her face to help clear her senses.

"O-One. I see only yours in my face."

"Alright then, good. It's not as bad as I had thought." Luna then saw Cadence. Oh no, she could be next. "Oh, ponyfeathers. Is Cadence here as well? We should be careful and keep her under close watch. Lest an ill fate befalls her, too."

"Yeah. That's not going to be something I'd want to watch anytime soon... ever." Twilight said as little did she realize she was next. Artcraft was waiting for her to leave the other two to go and plan his next move.

"Alright then, I know your weakness, Twilight. Cheese, lots and lots of it." Artcraft was mixing dry cheese sauce powder into a massive bowl with some of the water he borrowed from the pond Luna recently fell into. Then, he added one dozen eggs, two gallons of milk, and three sticks of butter to make it nice and creamy. He hid in the bushes so he wouldn't be noticed then; he put in flour to make it thicker like slime as he poured the bowl's contents into a gigantic water balloon filling up fast.

"My goodness. There seems to be an awful lot of chaos tonight. Ho ho ho. Maybe the Gala might not be so bad this year after all." Discord was off into the distance, lounging onto a floating lawn chair, sipping a glass of lemonade, and spectating the havoc.

"Alright then. Trap assembled. Ohh, this is going to get messy." Artcraft used his magic with some considerable effort to hoist up the giant balloon of cheese sauce above the walkway through the Gala to the castle's entrance. The trip wire was also set to trigger the trap.

"Hold on, Celestia. I'll go into the castle to grab a larger towel to help you get cleaned off."

"Oh, perfect." Artcraft was hiding in the bushes with a Cheshire cat-sized grin. Twilight tripped the wire onto the ground with her hooves, not paying attention to the looming balloon of cheesy doom hanging over her. That was until she looked up and was frozen in fear as she knew that smell. The lavender purple drained from her body at that moment.

"O-Oh n-no... Meep." Then the balloon fell and splashed onto her body.

SPLAT!

Twilight looked like a covered-up blob of yellow cheddar with eyes as the sauce was hardening into an almost rubber-like casing as she yelled as loud as she could. "AAAUGHHH! It's in my mane, my fur... it's... everywhere." Then she dashed for the pond Luna fell into to get the cheese off her body as she dived into the water with a resounding splash.

Splash!

"And that's a score for me! Oh yeah! One more left to prank tonight."

Princess Cadence

"Princess Cadence. What a lovely surprise that you're here tonight." Luna tried to keep up her grin. In truth, she loved to see her niece, but this wasn't a good time for her to be here, given all that's happened so far.

"Oh yeah. It's so great to see you guys. Umm... was that Twilight that jumped right into the water over there? Is she okay?"

"She is fine, Cadence. There's nothing for thee to worry about. Tis just a wonderful night tonight."

"Auntie. No offense, but you're not a very good liar. Just be honest with me." Luna sighed in defeat as she then said to Cadence.

"A nasty troublemaker is going around and pranking us. I fear that you might be next on that prankster's list."

"Oh, you have no idea how right you are, Luna," Artcraft said as he hid in the bushes, staking out the two alicorns and waiting for his opportunity.

"I think you worry too much, Auntie. Just relax and try to enjoy tonight, okay?"

"He spooked me as I fell into the pond, Tia got spooked by a chicken and then drenched in cake, Twilight got dried cheddar hardened onto her coat- hence why you saw her jump into that lake over there."

"Oh dear- that's just terrible."

"Yes, it is. It would help if you were careful tonight, My niece. Pray that you do not become a victim." As they were chatting away, Artcraft went to work filling up a wine barrel with the top off with tar. Artcraft made a tripwire and hooked it to a tree limb to trigger the trap. Then he had two open containers of feathers, a red rubber glove for the top, and a clip-on beak for the face. He was ready; he just needed a volunteer.

"I will be sure to, Luna. Thanks for warning me."

"Tis no problem at all, Dearest niece." Luna then had a stern look on her face, "I shall scout about for that prankster and make him pay."

"I wish you luck with that, Luna." As Cadence said this, Luna trotted off, leaving her alone. Cadence saw a trail of glittering hearts onto the ground, likely decoration. "Hello, what's this?" Cadence followed the path to a secluded part of the Gala, housed by tall bushes.

"Hey, whoever left behind this trail? You can't leave a mess around here and expect things to be okay." Just then, Cadence's hoof got caught onto the tripwire as it snapped, and the rope connected to the tree limb had lassoed her hind hooves as she yelped in surprise before being hoisted up and her body dipped into the tar barrel.

SPLAT!

Cadence's entire body was covered in thick tar as Artcraft then came up and poured both containers of feathers onto her upside-down body, then applied the red glove onto her head and the orange beak onto her snout. "Aww. You're just the cutest little chicken. Yes, you're." Cadence's eyes rose with fresh tears as the prankster patronized her. "The prank master strikes again! My night is completed; all four princesses have been pranked successfully. Mission accomplished!"

"W-Why? Why are you doing this to us?"

"Eh, I was bored." Artcraft shrugged as Cadence broke down in tears more as she cried while still hanging upside-down.

"There you're, you foul heathen!" Luna then restrained Artcraft with her blue magical aura as he could not move. "I knew that if I tailed Cadence, I would find you."

Artcraft gulped in fear. "Uh oh."

The penalty is death by snuggles.

"You're in so much trouble right now!" Luna scowled at the troublesome stallion pinned by her magical grip. "Do you know how much effort went into making my mane perfect for tonight?"

"N-No..." Artcraft replied sheepishly as he visibly winced.

Luna got into his face with hers as she spoke, "I had to make sure that I booked a reservation for the best mane and makeup cosmetologist in all of Manehattan for up to several weeks before this event." Luna continued, "My mane is ruined and smells greatly of stagnant pond water. I am just furious with you right now."

"So, I'm guessing that letting me walk away from this isn't going to be an option for me?"

"What do you think, you whelp?"

"No, I didn't think so." Just then, Twilight, who was still trying to get all the cheese off of her body, had approached Luna and Artcraft with both Cadence, who was still coated in tar and feathers, and Celestia, who was now slightly shaking in anger at seeing who it was that caused all their trouble tonight.

"There's the little weasel!" Twilight said in surprise at seeing Artcraft.

"You are coming with us right now!" Celestia said as she slammed her front left hoof down angrily.

"I-I can't believe you would do this to us. Why?" Cadence was still trying to wipe the tears from her eyes as Celestia then used magic to remove the drying tar off her body safely.

"You're going to be held into the castle dungeons until we're ready to deal with you!" Luna said, not dropping her ire and stern attitude in the slightest.

KA-CLINK!

Artcraft heard the cell door slide closed and locked as two guards walked away from the dungeon, leaving him to his thoughts. "Alright then, my current situation could have been better. In hindsight, maybe my pranks did go a trite bit too far. The tar and feather one was an absolute classic. Philistines, that's what they're." Artcraft then lay sprawled onto his back as he continued, "they have no respect for the classics whatsoever."

"Aww, what's the matter? You're upset that you got caught? I'll admit, watching it from a safe distance was incredibly amusing." Then a mismatched chimera had risen from the tile on the ground as he formed into his bipedal form.

"Oh great, it's you again. You know, you could have just knocked onto the bars. Like a normal lord of chaos."

"Oh please, normal and myself would be like trying to mix orange marmalade with peanut butter. That might be something I'll get Celly to try out sometime. The look on her face would be priceless."

"So then, come here to mock me, did you?"

"No, not exactly. I'm here to warn you. Invoking their ire was a terrible move on your end, Artcraft." Discord then snapped his claw, and a glass of what appeared to be a fruit wine appeared in his grasp as he casually sipped onto it. "I've only got one critical piece of advice for you."

"And that would be?"

"Fear the fluff. It's so comfortable that it's agonizing. It's how they solve their problems." Discord then finished his glass of wine as he continued, "it's mostly used as a form of capital punishment and even on some occasions... as a form of execution." Discord finished off his statement darkly.

"Execution as in death, right? You can not be serious right now."

"Though I'm normally never serious. In your case, yes, I am."

"Great. Thanks for helping me to feel better. It means a lot to me."

"They also love to play around with their prey. You'll find out in; I'd say, about a good... five minutes from now. I'll be sure to keep an eye on the Canterlot obituaries." Discord concluded as he stood at attention like a soldier, saluted, and then fell back onto the ground as he melted into the floor and evaporated into dust.

"Yeah. You go and do that, you schmuck!" Artcraft was honestly scared; he didn't think that he deserved death of all things. Then the usual clatter of steel-plated hooves had clanked onto the tile of the dungeon flooring as both guards opened the door to let Artcraft out. "You guys... you're releasing me?"

"The castle is closed off, Citizen. You have forfeited your life to the crown, and there's no escape from here. We're here to wish you that Faustia has mercy on your soul. One last bit of advice for you, Citizen."

"W-What would that be?"

"Run."

"Y-Yes, sir, I'm running alright. Eeuaghhh!" Artcraft was running up the stairs to the lower corridor of the castle as the guard chuckled to himself. Artcraft then scanned for any possible way out. "This has got to be just a bad dream. A very, very bad dream. Wake up, Artcraft. Wake up, damn you!"

Artcraft was trying to slap himself with his front hooves to wake himself up... only to realize that he couldn't. "Okay... this is not good. This is not good at all." He then heard some feminine giggling nearby. "O-Oh no... it's one of them."

"Oh, Artcraft... Fair and cuddly stallion. We're waiting for thee to show thyself." That must have been Luna. Oh dear lord, she was the one who was the angriest of them all towards him. He crouched behind one of the walls as he saw her body pass him, and she was looking towards both sides of the corridors.

"I shall find thee... and when I do... I'll snuggle you to death." Artcraft was hiding behind one of the walls that protruded on both sides of the corridor, concealing his body.

She left as he let out a sigh of relief, "phew. That was close. I gotta get out of here." He was searching around until he saw an empty corridor to head down towards. At least he went down the hall that didn't have Luna around. "The Ballroom would be way too open. Just a peek to see if it's safe."

Artcraft opened the Ballroom door slightly and saw Twilight and Cadence looking around. He quickly closed the door and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.

"Holy crap. Okay then, no going into the Ballroom." There was a closet in the hallway that Artcraft had hidden in. He then peeked out of the closet to see the hallways were clear. "Thank Faustia above; the coast is clear." He then raced from the closet to the lavatories of the lower corridor.

"Okay, I should be safe in here. They couldn't possibly know where I am, right?" Just then, from the wooden door, two blue forelegs have burst forth from the door itself, making holes in the door, scaring the crap out of Artcraft, who yelped in shock, "Aiieee."

Smash!

Then came the head of Luna smashing its way through. She giggled. "Huzzah! I hath found thee. Prepare for thine fatal snuggles!"

"AAAaahhhh!! S-Sweet hideous mother of Cthulhu. Aaughhh!" Artcraft panicked as he ran around in circles in the smaller bathroom.

"It's time for a very snuggly afterlife for thee. Resistance is futile, Little one."

"That's what you think." Artcraft saw the rest of the door torn from its hinges as Luna smashed it open. With a predatory glint in her eyes, she had a thirst for blood. Artcraft then looked to the corner and saw a vent he could pry the grate off and run into for a quick getaway.

"Sorry to run, but I gotta run!" Artcraft then used his magic to tear off the grate as he jumped right on in and pulled himself away as Luna reached out and almost snagged him. Artcraft then crawled out of their bathroom, hearing Luna shout out.

"If I do not find thee, then my sister shall..." This sent cold chills down his spine.

"Y-Yep, nope, I am out of here." Artcraft then crawled through the vents into its network as he found an open vent that was under maintenance. He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Please, I do not deserve death. I know I'm not perfect; I get that. But is death the only way for me?" Artcraft made it to the other side of the open vent as he snuck into what appeared to be a storage room.

"He must be around here, ladies," Celestia said casually to all three other princesses as they regrouped together in the corridor connecting to the storage room that Artcraft was hiding in.

"He shall not get too far; I nearly had him." Luna said to Celestia.

"Not to worry, Luna. He's bound to make a mistake eventually. Once he does, then we'll have him." Celestia stated as everyone there agreed and then separated to spread out to find Artcraft. This was going to get more challenging as the night dragged on. They were toying with him to make him paranoid. Then, once they corner him, it'll all be over.

"Y-Yeah. We'll see about that, princesses." Artcraft said under his breath as they all left to search for their prankster turned prey. Artcraft then waited for them to leave the lower corridor in front of the storage room door so he could make his move.

"W-Why does it feel like I'm totally and completely lost? Well, this is a big castle, I guess." Then a sign pointed towards the exit chiseled with gold lettering on a marble slab hung onto the wall, "No. That's way too easy. There's no way that this isn't an elaborate trap."

Seeing nothing else to lose, Artcraft decided to check it out against his better judgment. Low and behold, there it was; Sweet freedom. It probably would have been easier to open the double doors if they weren't locked down with the castle's magic. "Damn. Why... why must you taunt me so? My life is on the line here, and this door has to be locked, right?"

Artcraft whispered to himself as he tried everything to search for a way to open it. No method thus far is successful. Then, four shadows slowly approached his position from behind as he felt the inevitable premonition of looming dread hanging over him.

"We wonder if he might be here? If this is so, you have picked a most unwise path." The voice of Luna is calm, smooth, and so terrifyingly gentle in Artcraft's delirious mental state. Oh god, no.

"I told you ladies that he would make a mistake. Isn't that right, Artcraft?" There they were, all four princesses blocking and corralling Artcraft against the sealed front door. "A bit of some sage advice for you; If the trap looks obvious, don't fall for it." Celestia grinned as they were ready to claim their prize.

"I guess we got the jump on him now, huh? I'm going to snuggle him for every minute it took to get all that dried cheese off my fur." Twilight then glared at him with a mix of anger and smugness.

"This is for your own good, Artcraft. I'm afraid that there's no other option for you now. Suppose you have any last words. Now's your time to say them." Cadence concluded as they were right up on him, reaching out to grab him.

"I-I'm.. s-sorry. I-I surrender... this is it... t-this is how I go out." Artcraft then closed his eyes tight and braced for the end. They came in at that moment. There was nothing but warm and comfy softness at literally every corner around him.

They were giving him some passionate cuddles that, in all honestly, weren't that bad at all. This wouldn't have been so bad if it had not been that Artcraft was about to die. After the first five minutes, he was still... alive? But they said that this was a death sentence, right?

"Now, I hope you have learned a precious lesson on being a bully, Artcraft," Celestia said as they opened their soft embrace for Artcraft to speak.

"B-But I thought... that I was... w-what?!"

"You seriously thought that we were going to murder thee? Oh, heavens, no. But thine look on your face was indeed priceless." Luna said to Artcraft.

"B-But.. you made it sound like it was an execution."

"It was all staged. We just wanted to terrify you. And we succeeded. You cannot argue with those results." Twilight giggles, "sure, we were mad, and I'm still a bit miffed at you. But we'd never kill anypony for any reason."

"S-So... all this was... was just.. a-"

"Yup. A prank. So then, how did it feel to be the one who was hunted down, huh?" Cadence asked with a giggle.

"I-I. I.. Uughh." Artcraft fainted in their embrace as they all giggled as if they all heard the funniest joke of all time.

"Artcraft shall be released from royal custody to go home in the morning," Celestia said with her usual motherly smile and angelic demeanor.