half empty.

by applejackofalltrades

Rating: teen
Tags: Narcotics, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo
Length: 1844

This is the worst day of Rainbow Dash's life.

Struggling with alcoholism, Rainbow Dash finds herself watching over Ponyville on the anniversary of the worst day of her life. Sometimes, nopony can help.

Written originally for Quills and Sofas’ St. Patrick’s Day speedwriting contest. The prompt was “End of The Rainbow” Thank you to Vis-A-Viscera, Snow Quill and Buttery Biscuit for pre-reading during the contest!

Cover art: Done by me

CW: This fic talks heavily about alcohol, and portrays alcoholism. If you are struggling with addiction, please try and get help if possible.

Published 2021-03-19 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-19 03:10:01 UTC

half empty.

It should have been a fun day. Cloverfest meant everypony was out drinking alcohol and singing songs together in the streets of Ponyville. Even Cloudsdale was having a blast. Hay, Rainbow Dash was willing to bet even Canterlot was being rowdy, what with the Wonderbolts special performance that happened annually.

But instead of doing any of that, Rainbow Dash sat by herself on a hill overlooking her hometown with a few cases of alcoholic cider at her side. It was a ridiculously pathetic sight, probably. A cyan blue pegasus, on what was probably the funnest day of the year, sitting alone next to the base of a rainbow. She thought perhaps she could blend into the background; her fur matched the sky, and her mane matched the rainbow next to her. Maybe she could just disappear. Dissolve and become the rainbow.

If she could do that, she wouldn’t have to be… This. But she couldn’t do that, no matter how hard she tried. Rainbow Dash sighed dejectedly and took another swig from her bottle. It was hard to find a case of cider around this time of year, but Applejack had made sure to save Rainbow some as per her request.

I wonder what she’s doing now. Rainbow Dash entertained the thought for a moment. Maybe she was spending the time with her family, or going out for a drink with her friends. Either one was probably better than what Rainbow Dash was doing. Still, it was what she had wanted.

The bottle was emptied and Rainbow Dash grunted, tossing it behind her. The glass clinked against other bottles but did not shatter. Methodically, Rainbow picked up another one and flicked the cap off with a hoof. It was easy now that she had the practice. “Maybe not the best thing to brag about,” she slurred aloud to no one.

Another swig. The grass felt fuzzy under Rainbow Dash. Bubbly, almost. Like the cider. She chuckled and looked at it. It was green, an eye-straining bright green. She dragged a hoof across it, noting how her blue fur was about as bright as the grass. “I guess I shouldn’t be one to complain,” she mumbled.

“Complain about what?”

Rainbow Dash jumped off her haunches and floated in the air, swaying a bit from side to side. She clutched the bottle to her chest and looked in the direction of the sound before letting out a breath of relief. “Oh sheesh, kid. You scared me.”

Scootaloo looked up at Rainbow Dash, who hovered clumsily a few hoof-lengths in the air. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t know you were here, but then I heard you talking to yourself,” the filly admitted, looking a little sheepish.

The larger mare grinned and dropped to the floor, taking a step to the side to maintain her balance on three hooves. She took a sip of her drink before placing it on the floor. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I was just… thinking.”

Scootaloo looked at the pile of empty bottles and then at Rainbow Dash. “Uh, about what?”

Rainbow Dash hesitated for a moment. She blinked slowly before snorting. “Nothing, Scoots,” she said slowly. “Now, what are you doing all the way over here?”

The filly frowned for an instant, then shook her head and plastered a smile on her face. “Well, the Crusaders and I are hosting an event for any interested foals today, cutie marks or not. One of the events is to find the end of a rainbow! I’m setting up a prize at this end, while Apple Bloom does the other side. Sweetie Belle is keeping them busy.”

Rainbow Dash nodded as she contemplated what Scootaloo had said. “Oh, so I guess I’m in your way,” she realized. “Sorry, squirt. I’ll move to somewhere else, then. Don’t want to interrupt your uh… Your Crusader thing.” She fumbled through her apology and started to walk toward the pile of empty bottles.

“Are you okay, Rainbow Dash? You sound a bit funny.” Scootaloo furrowed her eyebrows and observed the cyan pegasus. “In fact, what are you doing here all alone? Apple Bloom said Applejack was having you guys over for cider at the barn. It seems like you’re having as much as they are.”

Rainbow Dash froze. She sat back on her haunches, piling up bottles and trying to balance them in the crook of one of her forelegs. “I just wanted to spend some time alone is all, Scoots.”

Scootaloo made her way next to Rainbow Dash to help her pick up the bottles. She took one and sniffed it, then stuck her tongue out in disgust and turned away. “Ugh! Is this alcoholic cider? It smells gross.”

Rainbow Dash snatched the bottle from Scootaloo, dropping the ones she was carrying in the process. “Good! You shouldn’t have any. It is gross. Really gross. Super gross.” Rainbow Dash put the empty bottle on the ground away from Scootaloo. “But I can have it because I’m grown.”

Scootaloo stayed quiet for a moment. “Do you need me to get Applejack?” She shuffled her hooves on the grass. “You had a lot of this cider stuff and Applejack told us that if we ever had too much, we needed to call her for help and–”

“No!” Rainbow Dash extended her wings and stood on all fours. Scootaloo flinched, causing Rainbow Dash to click her tongue and look away, her wings retracting a bit. “Don’t get Applejack. I’m fine.”

Scootaloo hesitated and watched as Rainbow Dash picked up the nearly full bottle from before and took another chug. “But you’re… not acting like yourself. I think you had too much to drink…”

Rainbow Dash scowled and turned away from the filly. She set her gaze on Ponyville. There were ponies in the streets, singing tunes that Rainbow Dash couldn’t quite make out. She took another swig. “I just don’t like today, is all. That’s why I’m here by myself.”

“Huh?”

Rainbow Dash grimaced and put the bottle on the ground, tipping it in circles with a hoof. “I don’t like today ‘cause it’s the same day the Wonderbolts kicked me out.”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t see Scootaloo, but she practically felt the filly deflate by her tone of voice. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“But… That doesn’t mean you have to come up here on this cliff and get drunk or whatever. Wouldn’t it be nicer to hang out with your best friends?”

It would be nice, but she didn’t deserve it. Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof on the side of the bottle as she stared into the opening. The bubbly liquid inside called her name. “You know why they kicked me out? Because I got so piss wasted that I trashed the locker room before our Cloverfest show. Spitfire warned me about getting drunk before shows, but I didn’t listen.” She chuckled mirthlessly. “Maybe I do have a bit of a problem, but I don’t want to fix it. I just don’t even want to admit it.”

Scootaloo slowly appeared next to Rainbow Dash and looked ahead at Ponyville with her. “I have a cousin who used to struggle with that, too. My Aunts always told me about him, kinda like a precaution. They said he would drink all the time and get into loads of trouble.”

“Hey, I don’t drink all the time….”

“But they had him go to some kind of… meeting, you know? With other ponies that had that problem.” Scootaloo paused and looked down. “He got better, slowly, and now he doesn’t drink at all. He’s actually a great guy! I think you should try that.”

Rainbow Dash frowned and looked at Scootaloo. She knew she should do that, but that meant admitting defeat. That would mean admitting she was an…. No, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. It wasn’t bad, it was never bad. Just that day. “I appreciate the concern, bud, but I’m okay. Really.”

Besides, she really didn’t want to talk about this with a filly. Scootaloo and her friends were definitely not little fillies anymore, but she wasn’t old enough to be talking about this sort of thing with her. It would be for the best if she just left Scootaloo to do her Crusader thing. She already felt bad enough for delaying her.

“Are you sure?” Scootaloo looked at her with wide eyes.

Rainbow Dash ruffled her mane. “Positive. I just need to get past today and it’ll be okay.” Rainbow Dash grinned and stood back up, taking the bottle in her mouth. “I’m gonna go thomewhere elthe now,” she spoke around the bottle. “Don’t wanna ruin your thing.”

“Oh, okay.” Scootaloo watched Rainbow Dash retreat to the pile of bottles, then look around and frown, placing the bottle on the floor again. “Do you need help with that?”

Rainbow Dash grinned sheepishly. “You wouldn’t happen to have a bag or something?”

Scootaloo nodded and went to the cloud base of the rainbow where she had left a satchel. “Yeah, I have a bag. Are you gonna… take the full ones too?” She brought the bag to Rainbow Dash.

“Well, duh. Can’t leave ‘em just laying around,” Rainbow Dash responded with an amused huff. She put the empty bottles in the bag and tied a knot at the end. “Okay, I’ll be out of your mane now, kid.” She grabbed the end of the bag in her mouth and flexed her wings. A bit wobbly, she took to the air and hovered over the still full case of cider.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow Dash turned her head toward Scootaloo as she picked up a case in each foreleg. “Hmm?”

“Promise me that you won’t drink any more?”

Rainbow Dash flicked her eyes to the side. She exhaled slowly through the bag in her mouth. “I’ll thee you around, kid,” she muttered before taking off, leaving Scootaloo frowning back on the floor.

She flew through the air in what was a wavy trajectory, blinking slowly. The wind ruffled her mane in front of her eyes, but she couldn’t clear it away. Rainbow Dash felt heavy and slow. As if her wings had weight on them. With every blink, every breath the world closed in around her.

She dropped in height slightly with every flap of her wings until she crashed into the floor a good distance away from where she had last taken refuge from other ponies. Rainbow Dash groaned as she rolled over. The bag had split open, and the empty bottles rolled onto the grassy hilltop. A few went over the edge, now exposed to the world. Rainbow Dash sat up slowly and rubbed her head with a hoof. The air was knocked clean out of her and as she struggled for breath, she felt something hit against her leg. A full bottle of cider pressed up against her flank. Her blurry vision—either from the alcohol or from the impact, she couldn’t tell—focused on the bubbly goodness of the drink.

Defeated, she picked it up, popped it open, and took a swig.