Dawn Makerby MellowSoulChaptersThe Brightest Blue (Part 1)The Brightest Blue (Part 2)The Brightest Blue (Part 3)The Brightest Blue (Part 4)The Brightest Blue (Part 5: Epilogue)The Brightest Blue (Part 1)Morning's rays seeped through my eyelids. I felt a warm hand press against my cheek. Slowly, I cast off the shadows of sleep. I veered my head. From above, my greatest creation smiled upon me. I admired her, gazing in awe at her form. Her wings were lighter than the fluffiest cloud: her hair, comparable to the highest-quality chocolate. My heart overflowed with emotions I'd never experienced before. "Morning." she spoke. Her voice was soft and soothing. "Morning..." I replied groggily. "How are you feeling?" "Better now that you're here." "I brought you something." I pushed myself upright. She pulled a cassette tape from her coat pocket. "You said you were interested in a physical copy, so I got you the rawest version I could find." She handed me the tape. "No way! How did you find this!?" I asked. "I have my ways." "This is awesome! Thank you!" "You're welcome." "This really means a lot." "Hey, I added something to my outfit. Wanna see?" "Yeah." Atmospheric took several steps back. I noticed the chain clipped around her belt loop. It was the chain from my wallet. "I know people think it's goofy," she stated, "but I like it." "You look beautiful." "Come on; you can do better than that." "All right. How about this: you're fuckin' scorchin'." "That's more like it." She glided toward me in a playful manner. We wrapped each other in a gentle hug. I felt so safe in her arms... "I was wondering if we could do a photo collage today," I told her, "I've been thinking about editing it into a slideshow. I wanna show you off to everybody." "Are you sure you don't just want to make John jealous?" "That too." "I'll do it for an ice cream sandwich." "Deal." Atmospheric retrieved one of the swords downstairs before we headed out. We took a numbers of shots around the neighborhood. The last one was taken by the side of our house. She leaned against the wall and propped the sword next to her. She tilted her head to the side, stuck her hands in her pockets, and slung one leg over the other. The pose made her look confident and intimidating. It reminded me of my brother when he was younger. "How'd it come out?" she questioned. "Unbelievable..." "Is something wrong?" "Nope. You're just drop dead gorgeous is all." "When did you become such a charmer?" "When I had a reason to." I caressed her waist, placing my forehead against hers. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but there were forces at play preventing me from doing so: things that were too important to ignore. "Listen...We need to talk..." I began. The pain in my voice must have been all too clear. "What's wrong?" "What I said earlier, about wanting to show you off; it was true, but there's something else, too. By doing this, I'll be severing our psychological link. You'll become your own person, which means if something happens to me, you'll be free to carry on with your life." "That means...I'll be truly immortal...!" "Yeah..." "Why...Why would you go this far...!?" "Because I care about you, and I want what's best for you. You deserve better than being chained to someone as broken as me." "Why do you have such a low opinion of yourself that you think being around you is a burden?" "Almost everyone I've loved has passed away or left me behind. I've been forgotten by the world, and maybe that's for the best. If I go off the deep end, It'll be less painful for everyone involved." "You don't get it, do you?" "What do you mean?" "If I wanted to leave, I would've already. Whether I'm connected to you or not won't change how I feel. I really care about you, Kyle. I don't want to lose you..." A cool breeze blew her bangs to the side. Her eyes...They were so despondent. I couldn't bear to see her this way. Would I dare consider the possibility she was being truthful? Could I? "You're so kind and caring," she continued, "I've watched you grow into a thoughtful man with so much to offer. What you feel for me, I feel for you ten times over." "I doubt that." Tears streamed down her cheeks, yet she laughed all the same. We stood in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally, I made a decision. "Promise me something," I urged, "if something happens to this world, you'll go back to Equestria. I want you to live unburdened by the same pain I felt." "I promise." "I love you..." We silently embraced each other, refusing to say a single word more... A few days later, Twilight and the others paid a visit. They took us to lunch a few towns over before we headed to the arcade. It was a fairly sizable venue with lots of games. I separated from the others while we picked out what we wanted to play. Once I was out of earshot, the girls engaged in banter. "So, have you guys done it yet?" Rainbow teased Atmospheric. "Rainbow, that's extremely inappropriate," Sunset reprimanded, "Their private life is none of our business." "Chillax. I'm just pokin' fun." "We're getting around to it," Atmospheric replied, "He wants to take things slow. Given everything he's been through, I don't think that's unreasonable." "He's very much a dark romantic at heart," Rarity pointed out, "It's strange for me to admit, but I'm rather envious." "Why?" Atmospheric inquired. "You recall the promise he made some years ago?" "He would only love one person this way..." "You're his one chance. He intends to make the most of it." "Am I really that special...?" "He put conscious effort into helping you grow with him. I would say you most certainly are." "It's funny...As time went on, I became more of a catalyst for his desires. I saw his focus shift from lust to genuine affection. I never thought I would experience those things with him in person..." "Your influence changed him. Only a true emotional bond would push someone to such extremes. In order to love himself, he had no choice but to love you." "He loves me out of necessity...For his own survival..." "You said it yourself," Twilight reminded, "It's the opposite of mutually assured destruction." "Mutual evolution..." Atmospheric uttered. "That's the true power of humanity. Should they choose to embrace it, it will completely alter the course of their destiny." Atmospheric reached inside the pocket of her jeans. She felt the sting of a cold, metallic object...An object just big enough to slip around someone's finger... Author's Note The Brightest Blue (Part 2)As the months passed, I did what I could to show Atmospheric the true depths of my gratitude. I made gestures to express my appreciation, picking her flowers and carrying her when she wanted to go somewhere. Despite knowing she didn't need me to protect her, I felt an overwhelming need to guard her with my life. On some level, I knew that's what love meant, but the time and effort we put in along the way was what really made the difference. Eventually, October rolled around. With Halloween being my favorite holiday of the year, I wanted to make the most of it. We made plans with the others to go out that night. "What'd you guys have in mind?" Sunset asked. "I already thought about that," I told her, "There's an event at the art center this year. I want Atmospheric to see it." "Please tell me there'll be snacks." Rainbow said. "Duh." I replied. "Don't 'duh' me, fruitcake." "Whatever you say, pride flag." Applejack and Pinkie burst into simultaneous laughter. "You guys are assholes." Rainbow pouted. "I'm just messin' with ya," I assured, "Remember, you guys have people around the world who love and adore you. If I didn't give you shit every once in a while, who would?" "Yeah. I guess we are pretty awesome." "Damn straight." "Guess it's a date, then." Sunset confirmed. "Looks like it." I concluded. "Hey, before we go, mind if we borrow Atmospheric for a minute?" "Sure." Atmospheric and I pecked each other's lips before she with the others. The girls led Atmospheric downstairs onto the porch. They stopped and turned to face her. "What's up?" the seraph inquired. "There's no easy way to ask this," Sunset began hesitantly, "How's Kyle been treating you?" Atmospheric's expression became firm. The direction the conversation was taking disturbed her. "What's going on?" "We've been part of his psyche just as long as you have. Since we've been connected to him, we've noticed some things that are...Unnerving...To say the least." "I haven't seen anything that out of the ordinary. Can you elaborate?" "Some of the corners of his mind are blocked off to us. What we do know is, there's a deep-seated rage somewhere inside him. We don't feel it often, but when it does come...It scares us." "I know what you mean. I've felt it too." "We just want to make sure he isn't doing anything to hurt you." "I can tell you where that anger comes from." "Where?" "Despair." Sunset gave Atmospheric a surprised stare. It was barely noticeable under the dim light. "I see..." she replied. "You were hoping it would've disappeared by now." "It's definitely weaker than it used to be, but the fact it's still there worries me..." "That's the drawback of being human. Painful emotions linger for a long time: sometimes their entire lives." "I wish we could've done more..." "No good will come out of blaming yourself. It's not your fault." "I know..." "Maybe this'll put your mind at ease." Atmospheric pushed her hair back, revealing her dark brown eyes. From what Sunset could see, there weren't any signs of physical damage to her face. Atmospheric showed her her arms, legs, and torso. "Not a bruise in sight." the saint stated. "You're right," Sunset admitted, "I feel better now." "I've already told him if he raises a hand to me, I'll kill him. Whatever his reasoning is won't matter. The moment you put your hands on another person, you ask for what you get." "You could really do it, couldn't you?" "I don't possess much in the way of magic, but what I lack, I make up for with skill and intelligence." "As long as you're safe, that's all that matters. If you trust him, so do we." "I appreciate your concern. I'll ask him to unlock his mind for you." "That should do it." "We'll see you guys later." "Take it easy." "You, too." Atmospheric returned to the room. Her features were soft: sympathetic. "Is everything okay?" I asked. "I'm not sure..." I could tell she was distressed. I held out my arm. "Come here." I requested. She sat next to me. I drew her close in a protective shell, "What's wrong?" "I don't understand why, but...They thought you were abusing me..." I went silent. I didn't know what to say. The thought of hurting her had never once crossed my mind. The idea alone made me feel sick to my stomach. How was I supposed to react? Should I be defensive? Would that make me look guilty? I didn't know. I just didn't know... "I know you better than that," she suddenly spoke, "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." "...Mom..." "It's her...She's the one who's been abused..." "All throughout her life..." Atmospheric and I talked for a long while about my family's history. I told her about my mother's abuse and abandonment when she was a child, what we'd all endured at the hands of people we trusted, and the real friends we lost along the way. Midway through, I broke down in tears. The pain and remorse were too much to bear. "Oh, baby...I'm so sorry you had to go through that..." "It's okay," I sniffled, "There was nothing I could've done, anyway. I know that now." "Your mother's a strong woman. She went through all that and still managed to raise four kids. That takes guts." For the first time since I could remember, I laughed. I nodded in agreement. "I know we butt heads sometimes, but I love her. That's never changed. I just wish I knew how to show her..." "You do all the time. All the little things you do: helping her with work, taking care of Theo, rubbing her back when she's tired and sore. Those are what show her how much you care. Every day you choose to stay alive reminds her of what she's accomplished." I gazed at Atmospheric. An epiphany struck me. She was right. How had I missed it all these years? Every second I spent fighting to remain in this world was a statement to the people who loved me. It showed them their feelings were reciprocated. "You could've tried to drown your demons like Peter, so I wonder, why didn't you?" "I don't know." I answered honestly. "Because you were raised by people who wanted something better for you. They knew what you were capable of if you were willing to fight for it. I know things about you even they couldn't begin to imagine." "Yeah?" "If you asked me to hunt down the people who hurt your family, I would do it without a moment's hesitation. That's how much I care." "I don't want you to. You're too precious for me to stain your hands with blood. If I come across them again, I'll handle it on my terms." "Then I'll support you every step of the way." I sighed, letting out a sharp exhale. Relief washed over me. "You're more than just a good son. You're an amazing brother and incredible lover. You've got a lot more going for you than you realize." "I guess I just couldn't see it until now..." "Tell you what: I'll go make us some popcorn and we'll find something funny to watch." I smiled warmly. "Sounds good." "I love you, and I'll always be here for you. If you can't fight for anything else, fight for me: for us." "I will." We shared a deep, gentle kiss. She left to prepare the popcorn. While she was downstairs, she played with our cat, Oogie. Despite my exhaustion, I managed to stay awake through the film. The next day, I woke up refreshed and energized. A new chapter of our lives was about to begin. Author's Note The Brightest Blue (Part 3)We didn't see the others again until Halloween. I carried Atmospheric out front, maybe to prove a point. Had I caused her harm, there was no way in hell she would've let me touch her, let alone hold her. I would've been lying if I'd said I didn't feel a sense of satisfaction with myself. For the first time in my life, I felt like I knew who I was. I approached Sunset with the intention of confronting her directly. "She told me what you guys talked about." I said. "She explained everything. No wonder you thought about offing yourself. Keeping all that shit inside would drive anyone crazy." "That's all behind me now." "I'm sorry we doubted you." "Don't worry about it. If I'm being honest, I probably do look like the kind of guy who would do something like that." "The day we brought her here, I asked myself what it was she saw in you. I guess now I know." "I've seen so many relationships fall apart for so many reasons. We should all be so lucky to have someone who inspires us." "In what way?" "To change..." I stared down at Atmospheric. She rested peacefully in my arms. We began our trek into town. About halfway to our destination, we stumbled across the church where I attended youth group as an adolescent. I felt Atmospheric tug at the shirt under my coat. She clenched the fabric tightly. She knew... "What's wrong?" Sunset asked. I shook my head. "Just reminiscing." "Did something happen here?" "A few years before you guys came along, I had a teacher in the third grade. She was an older woman named Patricia. I suspected she had grandkids, but I never knew for sure." "How does that tie in?" "I met her grandson here when I was fifteen: the same year I began working on Atmospheric." "Seriously!?" "The youth program was defunded not long after. One memory sticks out above the rest, though. I don't remember exactly what brought it on, but we had sort of a group therapy session where we talked about our experiences with depression and self-harm." "Holy shit..." "I'm as surprised as you are. Makes me wonder if he ever told Pat what was really going on..." "He hugged Kyle." Atmospheric spoke. Sunset jumped in surprise. "Jesus! I didn't even know you were awake." I put Atmospheric down. She told them about what happened that night. "Kyle went around the circle to comfort everybody when the air became too tense. He went outside to talk to a friend when Pat's grandson burst through the door and wrapped him in a bear hug." "Hormones can really screw with your head, especially when there's nothing to distract you. What happened after?" "I don't know," I said, "I haven't seen him since. I know he's still up and kicking, though." "Talk about a godsend. I was getting anxious there for a sec." "For a long time, I thought the roots of my depression stemmed from the abuse my family went through when I was growing up, but looking back on it now, I think it started with my old man..." "What kind of person was Peter, if you don't mind me asking?" "The only memory I really have of him is the time I went to visit him when I was five. Even back then, I could tell he was an ill-tempered drunk. What I didn't know about were his mental issues. From what mom told me, he had full-blown hallucinations." "Has he been treated since?" "Not to my knowledge. He's been in and out of prison my whole life. The last charge he was convicted of was aggravated battery." "How long ago?" "Three years." "So it was fairly recent..." "His behavior is the sole reason I don't drink. I have a gut feeling I'd end up just like him if I did." "Smart. Sounds like your mom made a good call getting away from him." "Unfortunately, he was just the tip of a years-steep iceberg..." "Try to look on the bright side. All the bad shit you went through might've been why you turned out all right." "Yeah...Maybe..." "Much as I'd like to sit here and exchange sob stories all night, we should probably head out." Rainbow cut in. "Yeah," Sunset agreed, "I don't want to stay here too long." We continued walking. Pinkie slid next to me and Atmospheric so we could continue the conversation in private. "Sorry about your dad," she apologized, "I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia after a few incidents where I lashed out at everyone." "Don't worry about it. You have two advantages my old man never did." "What?" "A support structure and a sober mind. I know your friends would be there if you had a breakdown." "Yeah. I'm really grateful to have them around." "Atmospheric and I will help any way we can. Just hit us up if you need anything." "Thanks. That really means a lot." "Anytime." Atmospheric squeezed my hand. My bond had grown closer not only to her, but to everyone around us. We walked the rest of the way together, protecting each other from the frigid bite of autumn. Author's Note The Brightest Blue (Part 4)As we approached the art center, Atmospheric felt a growing sense of childhood innocence. It invaded every facet of her being right down to her core. With her free hand, she gripped the outer layer of my jacket. The exterior of the building was fairly unexceptional. It was mostly made up of brick and glass with some metal plating. On the far left side, there were two garage doors. I found myself wondering what the place was used for before the art community bought it out. Fluttershy was immediately enamored. "Guess we should go inside." I muttered. "Before we do, I have to ask you something." Atmospheric spoke. "Anything." "Do you trust me?" "Of course I do: with all I am." "I can feel familiar life forces. If they recognize you, it's almost guaranteed they'll ask who I am. I want you to let me respond." I thought it a strange request, but I didn't question it. I simply nodded. The nine of us entered in unison. Just as Atmospheric predicted, it didn't take long to stumble across someone who knew me. She was an elderly woman who had paid me for work a few times in the past. She had always been kind to me when we saw each other. "Kyle!? Oh, my gosh! It's so good to see you!" "Hey, Ms. Nancy." I replied. "How are your mom and sister doin'?" "Pretty good." "That's good. I'm glad to hear it." Nancy noticed Atmospheric clinging to my arm. "And who is this lovely young lady?" What followed changed my world. Atmospheric held up her hand. On her finger rested a ring made of gold. "I'm his fiancé." "Oh, my goodness! I had no idea you were engaged! Congratulations!" "Neither did I." I thought to myself. Atmospheric smiled at me. I felt her gaze sear through my soul. Was she searching for hesitation? Displeasure? If so...There was none to be found. "Um...Thank you." I finally managed to vocalize. "How long have y'all been together?" "Eight years." Atmospheric answered. "I never knew he had a girlfriend." "Our relationship was complicated for a while because I kept having to move around, but things are more stable now." "Well, God bless y'all." "He has in many ways already." "Your costume is absolutely gorgeous by the way." Atmospheric smiled one more time. Nancy strolled away to mingle with the rest of the crowd. "What just happened?" I questioned in confusion. "You brought me here because you envisioned a future with me, did you not?" "I mean, yeah...I just wasn't expecting it to be so seamless." "I remember him...The child you comforted when his parents were divorcing..." "...I never realized how isolating it was...Not until he told me..." "That was the moment I knew you would be a good father. That's what you want, right?" "Yeah..." "Your heart is vast. You have so much love to give, yet no one to give it to..." "That's not true...Not anymore." "Say the word, and I'll become your fallen angel..." "Soon. I just need a little more time to think..." "We have all the time in the world." We embraced each other. For the first time in my twenty-three years on this earth, I shed tears not of sorrow, but of joy. For the next hour, we did nothing. We simply stood there, holding each other tightly... When we returned home, Atmospheric revealed the ring to the others. She also revealed it wasn't an engagement ring, but a genuine marriage band. None of them could find the words to say, and ultimately decided they didn't need to. There was no reason they could think of to protest, so they accepted it and moved on. Sunset did bring up an interesting point, however. "Aren't both partners supposed to have them? What about Kyle's?" "I'm giving him mine," Atmospheric told her, "He's going to forge one for me." "What is this? Lord of the Rings?" Rainbow joked. "I think it's a sweet gesture," Rarity countered, "It's much more personal that way." "I agree." Applejack said. "True." Rainbow conceded. "Hey, you should play her that song you've been writing!" Pinkie suggested. "You've been writing something for me?" Atmospheric inquired. "It's nothing fancy. Just an instrumental piece I wrote in standard tuning." I replied. "I want to hear it." "Come on. Let's head upstairs." I took her hand and led her into the house. The others followed behind. The song consisted of melodic arpeggios and chords. It went on for four minutes: the average length for most styles of music. When it was over, we marathoned the Shining series. We started with Kubric's adaptation before moving on to King's remake. We finished off with the sequel film, Doctor Sleep. The sun was already rising by the time the credits rolled. The girls said their goodbyes and left for the morning. It wouldn't be too long before Atmospheric saw them again. Author's Note The Brightest Blue (Part 5: Epilogue)That same afternoon, Atmospheric sent Rainbow a photo using my phone. Her hair was disheveled and unkempt. She was wearing my Death Note shirt from the night before. There was a message attached. "You asked me back in March. Now you have a definitive answer." "Holy shit! How was it?" "I'll tell you over lunch. Tell everyone to get ready." "I'm on it." Around 2:00 P.M., Atmospheric met up with the others at one of the higher-end restaurants in town. Over their meal, they discussed the current situation and future plans. "So? How was he?" Rainbow pressured. "Very attentive to detail," Atmospheric replied, "He has a decent understanding of traditional eroticism: something that seems increasingly hard to find these days." "I kind of get it. Writers and marketers shoehorn sex into everything nowadays. Most of the personal stuff's been lost in the mix. There's no intimacy involved anymore." Rarity and Twilight were taken aback. "You seem awfully knowledgeable on the subject." Rarity voiced. "What? You didn't think I was just another meathead jock, did you? I have a brain, ya know." "Your deception skills are impressive." "Thanks...Hey!" Atmospheric chuckled. "I guess this is where we part ways." Sunset stated. There was a faint hint of sadness, "Kyle's on his way to recovery. Guess that means our work's finished." "Actually, if you don't mind, I could still use some help." Atmospheric requested. "What do you mean?" "He's done a decent job of restraining his darker impulses, but I'd rather curb them altogether if possible." "How?" "Therapy. I'd like to encourage him to seek anger management counselling." "Snuffing it out early before it has the chance to cause problems." "Exactly." "Yeah. We can definitely talk to him." "I'd appreciate it." As a means of distancing myself from my father's criminal background, I became more involved in maintaining my own well-being. Given the testimonies of others who came before me, I had to approach the process with an open mind and heart. To gain insight into Peter's condition, I began researching the effects of substance use on the brain. What I didn't know was that Atmospheric had plans of her own... It took some time, but Atmospheric eventually tracked Peter down. When she found him, he was still serving time for his battery charge. Given his history, she didn't find it surprising. She visited him the following January. Behind the glass, Peter saw a young woman approach the communication line. A guard stood watch to prevent him from acting out in the event his temper flared up. He and Atmospheric picked up the receivers from their respective ends. "Hey..." she said in a soft, gentle tone. "How's it goin'?" Peter asked in a thick western accent. "Did they tell you who I was?" "You're my son's wife, right? It's nice to meet you." "Likewise." Atmospheric's reply was sincere. "How's he doin', anyway?" "Better than he was." "Say what?" "There's a lot you've missed since you've been in here." "I mean, yeah..." She looked my father directly in his eyes. "...Why did you try to abduct him...?" "Who told you about that?" "He found out from his mother." Peter sighed. "...I was in a real bad way at the time. Did a lotta drinkin' back in the day. Got in some trouble as you can probably tell." "That's all he remembers of you. The last time he saw you, you were already drunk." "I can't remember how old he was at the time." "Five." "Yeah...Now I remember. He was gettin' a bit rowdy. Had an argument with his mom because I was ready to paddle him, but she wasn't havin' it." "Can you blame her?" "Nah. Guess she had a point anyway. By the sound of things, he turned out all right." "You understand he has some words that might be less than kind for you." "Is he here?" "I came here without his knowledge. Make no mistake, though; he's sympathetic to your plight. He's spent his whole life trying to learn from your mistakes. That effort is what made him the man I fell in love with." "Well, seems like he found a good woman to keep him in line." "You have no idea." Peter wheezed. Atmospheric could tell the years had put a strain on him. "You two have a lot to catch up on. He still doesn't know anything about where or how you grew up." "Next time you drop by, bring him here. I owe him and Theo a serious apology..." "Kyle's a fairly forgiving person. Theo might prove to be a bit trickier." "I just hope they know I love 'em. I know I fucked up bad, but I'm proud of 'em. They're my kids, ya know?" "I'll make you a deal. Kyle and I are discussing plans to conceive children. If you can get your act together when you get out of this place, maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to meet them." "I'm gonna be a granddaddy!?" Atmospheric nodded. "Figured that would give you some extra motivation to stay out of trouble. By the look of things, they've been treating you for your psychological problems, too. I'm sure Kyle will be relieved to hear that." "Whatcha still doin' here? Y'all best get busy. We got a lotta work to do." "I don't know when Kyle and Theo will be ready to see you. They're still trying to figure things out. I'll try to get them here as soon as possible." "I gotcha." "I'll come visit again soon. Take care." "Later." Atmospheric hung up. She left the prison with a renewed sense of purpose and idealism. The warm glow of the sun brought Atmospheric peace of mind. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. In truth, she'd expected the conversation to go in a different direction, but was glad things turned out the way they did. She gazed at the ring on her finger: a silver band with her original pony form welded to the top. In that moment, her feelings were the same as mine. "We've come a long way..." Author's Note
The Brightest Blue (Part 1)Morning's rays seeped through my eyelids. I felt a warm hand press against my cheek. Slowly, I cast off the shadows of sleep. I veered my head. From above, my greatest creation smiled upon me. I admired her, gazing in awe at her form. Her wings were lighter than the fluffiest cloud: her hair, comparable to the highest-quality chocolate. My heart overflowed with emotions I'd never experienced before. "Morning." she spoke. Her voice was soft and soothing. "Morning..." I replied groggily. "How are you feeling?" "Better now that you're here." "I brought you something." I pushed myself upright. She pulled a cassette tape from her coat pocket. "You said you were interested in a physical copy, so I got you the rawest version I could find." She handed me the tape. "No way! How did you find this!?" I asked. "I have my ways." "This is awesome! Thank you!" "You're welcome." "This really means a lot." "Hey, I added something to my outfit. Wanna see?" "Yeah." Atmospheric took several steps back. I noticed the chain clipped around her belt loop. It was the chain from my wallet. "I know people think it's goofy," she stated, "but I like it." "You look beautiful." "Come on; you can do better than that." "All right. How about this: you're fuckin' scorchin'." "That's more like it." She glided toward me in a playful manner. We wrapped each other in a gentle hug. I felt so safe in her arms... "I was wondering if we could do a photo collage today," I told her, "I've been thinking about editing it into a slideshow. I wanna show you off to everybody." "Are you sure you don't just want to make John jealous?" "That too." "I'll do it for an ice cream sandwich." "Deal." Atmospheric retrieved one of the swords downstairs before we headed out. We took a numbers of shots around the neighborhood. The last one was taken by the side of our house. She leaned against the wall and propped the sword next to her. She tilted her head to the side, stuck her hands in her pockets, and slung one leg over the other. The pose made her look confident and intimidating. It reminded me of my brother when he was younger. "How'd it come out?" she questioned. "Unbelievable..." "Is something wrong?" "Nope. You're just drop dead gorgeous is all." "When did you become such a charmer?" "When I had a reason to." I caressed her waist, placing my forehead against hers. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but there were forces at play preventing me from doing so: things that were too important to ignore. "Listen...We need to talk..." I began. The pain in my voice must have been all too clear. "What's wrong?" "What I said earlier, about wanting to show you off; it was true, but there's something else, too. By doing this, I'll be severing our psychological link. You'll become your own person, which means if something happens to me, you'll be free to carry on with your life." "That means...I'll be truly immortal...!" "Yeah..." "Why...Why would you go this far...!?" "Because I care about you, and I want what's best for you. You deserve better than being chained to someone as broken as me." "Why do you have such a low opinion of yourself that you think being around you is a burden?" "Almost everyone I've loved has passed away or left me behind. I've been forgotten by the world, and maybe that's for the best. If I go off the deep end, It'll be less painful for everyone involved." "You don't get it, do you?" "What do you mean?" "If I wanted to leave, I would've already. Whether I'm connected to you or not won't change how I feel. I really care about you, Kyle. I don't want to lose you..." A cool breeze blew her bangs to the side. Her eyes...They were so despondent. I couldn't bear to see her this way. Would I dare consider the possibility she was being truthful? Could I? "You're so kind and caring," she continued, "I've watched you grow into a thoughtful man with so much to offer. What you feel for me, I feel for you ten times over." "I doubt that." Tears streamed down her cheeks, yet she laughed all the same. We stood in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally, I made a decision. "Promise me something," I urged, "if something happens to this world, you'll go back to Equestria. I want you to live unburdened by the same pain I felt." "I promise." "I love you..." We silently embraced each other, refusing to say a single word more... A few days later, Twilight and the others paid a visit. They took us to lunch a few towns over before we headed to the arcade. It was a fairly sizable venue with lots of games. I separated from the others while we picked out what we wanted to play. Once I was out of earshot, the girls engaged in banter. "So, have you guys done it yet?" Rainbow teased Atmospheric. "Rainbow, that's extremely inappropriate," Sunset reprimanded, "Their private life is none of our business." "Chillax. I'm just pokin' fun." "We're getting around to it," Atmospheric replied, "He wants to take things slow. Given everything he's been through, I don't think that's unreasonable." "He's very much a dark romantic at heart," Rarity pointed out, "It's strange for me to admit, but I'm rather envious." "Why?" Atmospheric inquired. "You recall the promise he made some years ago?" "He would only love one person this way..." "You're his one chance. He intends to make the most of it." "Am I really that special...?" "He put conscious effort into helping you grow with him. I would say you most certainly are." "It's funny...As time went on, I became more of a catalyst for his desires. I saw his focus shift from lust to genuine affection. I never thought I would experience those things with him in person..." "Your influence changed him. Only a true emotional bond would push someone to such extremes. In order to love himself, he had no choice but to love you." "He loves me out of necessity...For his own survival..." "You said it yourself," Twilight reminded, "It's the opposite of mutually assured destruction." "Mutual evolution..." Atmospheric uttered. "That's the true power of humanity. Should they choose to embrace it, it will completely alter the course of their destiny." Atmospheric reached inside the pocket of her jeans. She felt the sting of a cold, metallic object...An object just big enough to slip around someone's finger... Author's Note
The Brightest Blue (Part 2)As the months passed, I did what I could to show Atmospheric the true depths of my gratitude. I made gestures to express my appreciation, picking her flowers and carrying her when she wanted to go somewhere. Despite knowing she didn't need me to protect her, I felt an overwhelming need to guard her with my life. On some level, I knew that's what love meant, but the time and effort we put in along the way was what really made the difference. Eventually, October rolled around. With Halloween being my favorite holiday of the year, I wanted to make the most of it. We made plans with the others to go out that night. "What'd you guys have in mind?" Sunset asked. "I already thought about that," I told her, "There's an event at the art center this year. I want Atmospheric to see it." "Please tell me there'll be snacks." Rainbow said. "Duh." I replied. "Don't 'duh' me, fruitcake." "Whatever you say, pride flag." Applejack and Pinkie burst into simultaneous laughter. "You guys are assholes." Rainbow pouted. "I'm just messin' with ya," I assured, "Remember, you guys have people around the world who love and adore you. If I didn't give you shit every once in a while, who would?" "Yeah. I guess we are pretty awesome." "Damn straight." "Guess it's a date, then." Sunset confirmed. "Looks like it." I concluded. "Hey, before we go, mind if we borrow Atmospheric for a minute?" "Sure." Atmospheric and I pecked each other's lips before she with the others. The girls led Atmospheric downstairs onto the porch. They stopped and turned to face her. "What's up?" the seraph inquired. "There's no easy way to ask this," Sunset began hesitantly, "How's Kyle been treating you?" Atmospheric's expression became firm. The direction the conversation was taking disturbed her. "What's going on?" "We've been part of his psyche just as long as you have. Since we've been connected to him, we've noticed some things that are...Unnerving...To say the least." "I haven't seen anything that out of the ordinary. Can you elaborate?" "Some of the corners of his mind are blocked off to us. What we do know is, there's a deep-seated rage somewhere inside him. We don't feel it often, but when it does come...It scares us." "I know what you mean. I've felt it too." "We just want to make sure he isn't doing anything to hurt you." "I can tell you where that anger comes from." "Where?" "Despair." Sunset gave Atmospheric a surprised stare. It was barely noticeable under the dim light. "I see..." she replied. "You were hoping it would've disappeared by now." "It's definitely weaker than it used to be, but the fact it's still there worries me..." "That's the drawback of being human. Painful emotions linger for a long time: sometimes their entire lives." "I wish we could've done more..." "No good will come out of blaming yourself. It's not your fault." "I know..." "Maybe this'll put your mind at ease." Atmospheric pushed her hair back, revealing her dark brown eyes. From what Sunset could see, there weren't any signs of physical damage to her face. Atmospheric showed her her arms, legs, and torso. "Not a bruise in sight." the saint stated. "You're right," Sunset admitted, "I feel better now." "I've already told him if he raises a hand to me, I'll kill him. Whatever his reasoning is won't matter. The moment you put your hands on another person, you ask for what you get." "You could really do it, couldn't you?" "I don't possess much in the way of magic, but what I lack, I make up for with skill and intelligence." "As long as you're safe, that's all that matters. If you trust him, so do we." "I appreciate your concern. I'll ask him to unlock his mind for you." "That should do it." "We'll see you guys later." "Take it easy." "You, too." Atmospheric returned to the room. Her features were soft: sympathetic. "Is everything okay?" I asked. "I'm not sure..." I could tell she was distressed. I held out my arm. "Come here." I requested. She sat next to me. I drew her close in a protective shell, "What's wrong?" "I don't understand why, but...They thought you were abusing me..." I went silent. I didn't know what to say. The thought of hurting her had never once crossed my mind. The idea alone made me feel sick to my stomach. How was I supposed to react? Should I be defensive? Would that make me look guilty? I didn't know. I just didn't know... "I know you better than that," she suddenly spoke, "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." "...Mom..." "It's her...She's the one who's been abused..." "All throughout her life..." Atmospheric and I talked for a long while about my family's history. I told her about my mother's abuse and abandonment when she was a child, what we'd all endured at the hands of people we trusted, and the real friends we lost along the way. Midway through, I broke down in tears. The pain and remorse were too much to bear. "Oh, baby...I'm so sorry you had to go through that..." "It's okay," I sniffled, "There was nothing I could've done, anyway. I know that now." "Your mother's a strong woman. She went through all that and still managed to raise four kids. That takes guts." For the first time since I could remember, I laughed. I nodded in agreement. "I know we butt heads sometimes, but I love her. That's never changed. I just wish I knew how to show her..." "You do all the time. All the little things you do: helping her with work, taking care of Theo, rubbing her back when she's tired and sore. Those are what show her how much you care. Every day you choose to stay alive reminds her of what she's accomplished." I gazed at Atmospheric. An epiphany struck me. She was right. How had I missed it all these years? Every second I spent fighting to remain in this world was a statement to the people who loved me. It showed them their feelings were reciprocated. "You could've tried to drown your demons like Peter, so I wonder, why didn't you?" "I don't know." I answered honestly. "Because you were raised by people who wanted something better for you. They knew what you were capable of if you were willing to fight for it. I know things about you even they couldn't begin to imagine." "Yeah?" "If you asked me to hunt down the people who hurt your family, I would do it without a moment's hesitation. That's how much I care." "I don't want you to. You're too precious for me to stain your hands with blood. If I come across them again, I'll handle it on my terms." "Then I'll support you every step of the way." I sighed, letting out a sharp exhale. Relief washed over me. "You're more than just a good son. You're an amazing brother and incredible lover. You've got a lot more going for you than you realize." "I guess I just couldn't see it until now..." "Tell you what: I'll go make us some popcorn and we'll find something funny to watch." I smiled warmly. "Sounds good." "I love you, and I'll always be here for you. If you can't fight for anything else, fight for me: for us." "I will." We shared a deep, gentle kiss. She left to prepare the popcorn. While she was downstairs, she played with our cat, Oogie. Despite my exhaustion, I managed to stay awake through the film. The next day, I woke up refreshed and energized. A new chapter of our lives was about to begin. Author's Note
The Brightest Blue (Part 3)We didn't see the others again until Halloween. I carried Atmospheric out front, maybe to prove a point. Had I caused her harm, there was no way in hell she would've let me touch her, let alone hold her. I would've been lying if I'd said I didn't feel a sense of satisfaction with myself. For the first time in my life, I felt like I knew who I was. I approached Sunset with the intention of confronting her directly. "She told me what you guys talked about." I said. "She explained everything. No wonder you thought about offing yourself. Keeping all that shit inside would drive anyone crazy." "That's all behind me now." "I'm sorry we doubted you." "Don't worry about it. If I'm being honest, I probably do look like the kind of guy who would do something like that." "The day we brought her here, I asked myself what it was she saw in you. I guess now I know." "I've seen so many relationships fall apart for so many reasons. We should all be so lucky to have someone who inspires us." "In what way?" "To change..." I stared down at Atmospheric. She rested peacefully in my arms. We began our trek into town. About halfway to our destination, we stumbled across the church where I attended youth group as an adolescent. I felt Atmospheric tug at the shirt under my coat. She clenched the fabric tightly. She knew... "What's wrong?" Sunset asked. I shook my head. "Just reminiscing." "Did something happen here?" "A few years before you guys came along, I had a teacher in the third grade. She was an older woman named Patricia. I suspected she had grandkids, but I never knew for sure." "How does that tie in?" "I met her grandson here when I was fifteen: the same year I began working on Atmospheric." "Seriously!?" "The youth program was defunded not long after. One memory sticks out above the rest, though. I don't remember exactly what brought it on, but we had sort of a group therapy session where we talked about our experiences with depression and self-harm." "Holy shit..." "I'm as surprised as you are. Makes me wonder if he ever told Pat what was really going on..." "He hugged Kyle." Atmospheric spoke. Sunset jumped in surprise. "Jesus! I didn't even know you were awake." I put Atmospheric down. She told them about what happened that night. "Kyle went around the circle to comfort everybody when the air became too tense. He went outside to talk to a friend when Pat's grandson burst through the door and wrapped him in a bear hug." "Hormones can really screw with your head, especially when there's nothing to distract you. What happened after?" "I don't know," I said, "I haven't seen him since. I know he's still up and kicking, though." "Talk about a godsend. I was getting anxious there for a sec." "For a long time, I thought the roots of my depression stemmed from the abuse my family went through when I was growing up, but looking back on it now, I think it started with my old man..." "What kind of person was Peter, if you don't mind me asking?" "The only memory I really have of him is the time I went to visit him when I was five. Even back then, I could tell he was an ill-tempered drunk. What I didn't know about were his mental issues. From what mom told me, he had full-blown hallucinations." "Has he been treated since?" "Not to my knowledge. He's been in and out of prison my whole life. The last charge he was convicted of was aggravated battery." "How long ago?" "Three years." "So it was fairly recent..." "His behavior is the sole reason I don't drink. I have a gut feeling I'd end up just like him if I did." "Smart. Sounds like your mom made a good call getting away from him." "Unfortunately, he was just the tip of a years-steep iceberg..." "Try to look on the bright side. All the bad shit you went through might've been why you turned out all right." "Yeah...Maybe..." "Much as I'd like to sit here and exchange sob stories all night, we should probably head out." Rainbow cut in. "Yeah," Sunset agreed, "I don't want to stay here too long." We continued walking. Pinkie slid next to me and Atmospheric so we could continue the conversation in private. "Sorry about your dad," she apologized, "I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia after a few incidents where I lashed out at everyone." "Don't worry about it. You have two advantages my old man never did." "What?" "A support structure and a sober mind. I know your friends would be there if you had a breakdown." "Yeah. I'm really grateful to have them around." "Atmospheric and I will help any way we can. Just hit us up if you need anything." "Thanks. That really means a lot." "Anytime." Atmospheric squeezed my hand. My bond had grown closer not only to her, but to everyone around us. We walked the rest of the way together, protecting each other from the frigid bite of autumn. Author's Note
The Brightest Blue (Part 4)As we approached the art center, Atmospheric felt a growing sense of childhood innocence. It invaded every facet of her being right down to her core. With her free hand, she gripped the outer layer of my jacket. The exterior of the building was fairly unexceptional. It was mostly made up of brick and glass with some metal plating. On the far left side, there were two garage doors. I found myself wondering what the place was used for before the art community bought it out. Fluttershy was immediately enamored. "Guess we should go inside." I muttered. "Before we do, I have to ask you something." Atmospheric spoke. "Anything." "Do you trust me?" "Of course I do: with all I am." "I can feel familiar life forces. If they recognize you, it's almost guaranteed they'll ask who I am. I want you to let me respond." I thought it a strange request, but I didn't question it. I simply nodded. The nine of us entered in unison. Just as Atmospheric predicted, it didn't take long to stumble across someone who knew me. She was an elderly woman who had paid me for work a few times in the past. She had always been kind to me when we saw each other. "Kyle!? Oh, my gosh! It's so good to see you!" "Hey, Ms. Nancy." I replied. "How are your mom and sister doin'?" "Pretty good." "That's good. I'm glad to hear it." Nancy noticed Atmospheric clinging to my arm. "And who is this lovely young lady?" What followed changed my world. Atmospheric held up her hand. On her finger rested a ring made of gold. "I'm his fiancé." "Oh, my goodness! I had no idea you were engaged! Congratulations!" "Neither did I." I thought to myself. Atmospheric smiled at me. I felt her gaze sear through my soul. Was she searching for hesitation? Displeasure? If so...There was none to be found. "Um...Thank you." I finally managed to vocalize. "How long have y'all been together?" "Eight years." Atmospheric answered. "I never knew he had a girlfriend." "Our relationship was complicated for a while because I kept having to move around, but things are more stable now." "Well, God bless y'all." "He has in many ways already." "Your costume is absolutely gorgeous by the way." Atmospheric smiled one more time. Nancy strolled away to mingle with the rest of the crowd. "What just happened?" I questioned in confusion. "You brought me here because you envisioned a future with me, did you not?" "I mean, yeah...I just wasn't expecting it to be so seamless." "I remember him...The child you comforted when his parents were divorcing..." "...I never realized how isolating it was...Not until he told me..." "That was the moment I knew you would be a good father. That's what you want, right?" "Yeah..." "Your heart is vast. You have so much love to give, yet no one to give it to..." "That's not true...Not anymore." "Say the word, and I'll become your fallen angel..." "Soon. I just need a little more time to think..." "We have all the time in the world." We embraced each other. For the first time in my twenty-three years on this earth, I shed tears not of sorrow, but of joy. For the next hour, we did nothing. We simply stood there, holding each other tightly... When we returned home, Atmospheric revealed the ring to the others. She also revealed it wasn't an engagement ring, but a genuine marriage band. None of them could find the words to say, and ultimately decided they didn't need to. There was no reason they could think of to protest, so they accepted it and moved on. Sunset did bring up an interesting point, however. "Aren't both partners supposed to have them? What about Kyle's?" "I'm giving him mine," Atmospheric told her, "He's going to forge one for me." "What is this? Lord of the Rings?" Rainbow joked. "I think it's a sweet gesture," Rarity countered, "It's much more personal that way." "I agree." Applejack said. "True." Rainbow conceded. "Hey, you should play her that song you've been writing!" Pinkie suggested. "You've been writing something for me?" Atmospheric inquired. "It's nothing fancy. Just an instrumental piece I wrote in standard tuning." I replied. "I want to hear it." "Come on. Let's head upstairs." I took her hand and led her into the house. The others followed behind. The song consisted of melodic arpeggios and chords. It went on for four minutes: the average length for most styles of music. When it was over, we marathoned the Shining series. We started with Kubric's adaptation before moving on to King's remake. We finished off with the sequel film, Doctor Sleep. The sun was already rising by the time the credits rolled. The girls said their goodbyes and left for the morning. It wouldn't be too long before Atmospheric saw them again. Author's Note
The Brightest Blue (Part 5: Epilogue)That same afternoon, Atmospheric sent Rainbow a photo using my phone. Her hair was disheveled and unkempt. She was wearing my Death Note shirt from the night before. There was a message attached. "You asked me back in March. Now you have a definitive answer." "Holy shit! How was it?" "I'll tell you over lunch. Tell everyone to get ready." "I'm on it." Around 2:00 P.M., Atmospheric met up with the others at one of the higher-end restaurants in town. Over their meal, they discussed the current situation and future plans. "So? How was he?" Rainbow pressured. "Very attentive to detail," Atmospheric replied, "He has a decent understanding of traditional eroticism: something that seems increasingly hard to find these days." "I kind of get it. Writers and marketers shoehorn sex into everything nowadays. Most of the personal stuff's been lost in the mix. There's no intimacy involved anymore." Rarity and Twilight were taken aback. "You seem awfully knowledgeable on the subject." Rarity voiced. "What? You didn't think I was just another meathead jock, did you? I have a brain, ya know." "Your deception skills are impressive." "Thanks...Hey!" Atmospheric chuckled. "I guess this is where we part ways." Sunset stated. There was a faint hint of sadness, "Kyle's on his way to recovery. Guess that means our work's finished." "Actually, if you don't mind, I could still use some help." Atmospheric requested. "What do you mean?" "He's done a decent job of restraining his darker impulses, but I'd rather curb them altogether if possible." "How?" "Therapy. I'd like to encourage him to seek anger management counselling." "Snuffing it out early before it has the chance to cause problems." "Exactly." "Yeah. We can definitely talk to him." "I'd appreciate it." As a means of distancing myself from my father's criminal background, I became more involved in maintaining my own well-being. Given the testimonies of others who came before me, I had to approach the process with an open mind and heart. To gain insight into Peter's condition, I began researching the effects of substance use on the brain. What I didn't know was that Atmospheric had plans of her own... It took some time, but Atmospheric eventually tracked Peter down. When she found him, he was still serving time for his battery charge. Given his history, she didn't find it surprising. She visited him the following January. Behind the glass, Peter saw a young woman approach the communication line. A guard stood watch to prevent him from acting out in the event his temper flared up. He and Atmospheric picked up the receivers from their respective ends. "Hey..." she said in a soft, gentle tone. "How's it goin'?" Peter asked in a thick western accent. "Did they tell you who I was?" "You're my son's wife, right? It's nice to meet you." "Likewise." Atmospheric's reply was sincere. "How's he doin', anyway?" "Better than he was." "Say what?" "There's a lot you've missed since you've been in here." "I mean, yeah..." She looked my father directly in his eyes. "...Why did you try to abduct him...?" "Who told you about that?" "He found out from his mother." Peter sighed. "...I was in a real bad way at the time. Did a lotta drinkin' back in the day. Got in some trouble as you can probably tell." "That's all he remembers of you. The last time he saw you, you were already drunk." "I can't remember how old he was at the time." "Five." "Yeah...Now I remember. He was gettin' a bit rowdy. Had an argument with his mom because I was ready to paddle him, but she wasn't havin' it." "Can you blame her?" "Nah. Guess she had a point anyway. By the sound of things, he turned out all right." "You understand he has some words that might be less than kind for you." "Is he here?" "I came here without his knowledge. Make no mistake, though; he's sympathetic to your plight. He's spent his whole life trying to learn from your mistakes. That effort is what made him the man I fell in love with." "Well, seems like he found a good woman to keep him in line." "You have no idea." Peter wheezed. Atmospheric could tell the years had put a strain on him. "You two have a lot to catch up on. He still doesn't know anything about where or how you grew up." "Next time you drop by, bring him here. I owe him and Theo a serious apology..." "Kyle's a fairly forgiving person. Theo might prove to be a bit trickier." "I just hope they know I love 'em. I know I fucked up bad, but I'm proud of 'em. They're my kids, ya know?" "I'll make you a deal. Kyle and I are discussing plans to conceive children. If you can get your act together when you get out of this place, maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to meet them." "I'm gonna be a granddaddy!?" Atmospheric nodded. "Figured that would give you some extra motivation to stay out of trouble. By the look of things, they've been treating you for your psychological problems, too. I'm sure Kyle will be relieved to hear that." "Whatcha still doin' here? Y'all best get busy. We got a lotta work to do." "I don't know when Kyle and Theo will be ready to see you. They're still trying to figure things out. I'll try to get them here as soon as possible." "I gotcha." "I'll come visit again soon. Take care." "Later." Atmospheric hung up. She left the prison with a renewed sense of purpose and idealism. The warm glow of the sun brought Atmospheric peace of mind. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. In truth, she'd expected the conversation to go in a different direction, but was glad things turned out the way they did. She gazed at the ring on her finger: a silver band with her original pony form welded to the top. In that moment, her feelings were the same as mine. "We've come a long way..." Author's Note
