Love Is for Squares

by Dewdrops on the Grass

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Equestria Girls, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6245

Trixie's had a bad string of luck with love lately. Starlight hopes this means she'll finally get a chance to be with her. She's wrong. So, so wrong. Because the one Trixie becomes enamored with? It's herself.

Trixie's had a bad string of luck with love lately. Starlight hopes this means she'll finally get a chance to be with her.

She's wrong. So, so wrong. Because the one Trixie becomes enamored with? It's herself.

Written to fulfill a challenge from Angel Midnight, who challenged people to write a story featuring a character from a list, as a present for her birthday. I chose Trixie. I hope you like the result!

Published 2021-03-22 05:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-22 05:40:00 UTC

Love Is for Squares

“Sigh…”

Starlight’s left eye twitched as she inhaled a sharp breath, gritting her teeth hard. “Trixie,” she growled, while attempting to school her mouth into a polite smile. “I know you’ve had a rough day. I know you’re feeling down. But please, for the love of Celestia, if I hear you sigh one more time…”

Trixie’s mouth curled into a pathetic, pitiful pout better suited to a foal than to an adult as she stared up at Starlight from her floor-bound pillow. Her violet eyes gleamed with unshed tears, while her mane, usually immaculately coiffed, trailed down around her face in a messy, matted heap. “But, Starlight,” she whined, her voice so coated with self-pity it clogged Starlight’s ears like someone pouring molasses down a drain, “I’m sad.”

The fifth quill that day snapped in Starlight’s magic grip. Without missing a beat she pulled open a drawer on the left side of her desk, dumped the bits in atop the massive pile inside, then slammed it shut and opened one on the right to withdraw a fresh one. Dipping it in the ink pot, she scribbled a few lines on a student’s essay. “I noticed.”

For once in her life, Trixie caught the subtle hint, and toned down the melodrama by a notch. “Starlight, I was dumped,” she said, this time without the whine. “Again.”

Starlight repressed her initial urge to teleport Trixie halfway across Equestria. Then she had to repress her second urge which she refused to give word to in her mind. Instead she set her quill down. “I know, Trixie,” she said, her tone more sincere. “I was there when it happened.”

Trixie flopped down onto her side, spreading her cloak all over the floor. “I just don’t understand what I did wrong.” She stretched out, half heartedly kicking at the air with a rear leg. “She was so into Trixie at first. Trixie bedazzled her with her wondrous magic. We went out on several lovely dinner dates. Then I serenaded her by the lakeside.”

“Yeah. I know. Everyone does. You roped the whole town into that heartsong,” Starlight said, rolling her eyes.

“It’s not Trixie’s fault if heartsongs come naturally to her!” Trixie retorted with a sharp glare.

“It was the third one that week!” Starlight shouted back, throwing her hooves up in the air. Then, chiding herself mentally, she drew back and quieted her voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.”

Trixie shrugged, and rolled over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. “All Trixie wanted to do was introduce her to you. The lunch date should’ve been fine. What’s wrong with inviting a friend?”

At that, Starlight did smile. “Nothing, Trixie. It’s just… I think she got the wrong impression.”

“How’s that?” Trixie said, sitting up enough to look Starlight in the eye.

Starlight’s cheeks heated up as she held up a hoof to gesture with. “Well… you did kind of introduce me as your ‘bestest friend in the whole wide world.’”

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, Trixie retorted, “Aaaand? What’s wrong with that?”

Trying not to roll her eyes, again, Starlight replied, “Well, we live in Ponyville, Trixie.”

“I know. I’ve lived here for years now.” Trixie hopped up to her hooves and strode over to Starlight, a frown pulling at her muzzle. “I don’t understand.”

Oh dear. How has she not figured this out? Sighing, Starlight replied, “Well, in Ponyville, they use ‘best friend’ as… a euphemism. For lesbian lovers. Like Lyra and Bon Bon.”

“They do?” Trixie blinked owlishly, cocking her head to one side, then the other, then her ears flapped a few times, then finally she broke into laughter. “But that’s ridiculous! You’re just Trixie’s friend, nothing more.”

“Yeah… nothing more… ahahaha…” Starlight said with a sheepish grin, her heart sinking.

Trixie wrapped a forearm around Starlight’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze. “Well, don’t you worry, Starlight. Trixie won’t put the moves on you just because you’re her best friend. She wouldn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Starlight’s smile shriveled up like a dried prune. “Uncomfortable. Right. That’d sure make me uncomfortable. To be with you. Uh huh.”

Trixie, as usual, misunderstood Starlight completely and smiled back. “Exactly. I know you pretty well Starlight. You’re a great friend. I wouldn’t want to lose that.” Releasing Starlight, she trotted a few steps away then struck a magnificent pose. “Besides, the Great and Powerful Trixie can always find another mare to enchant with her devilish wiles! For she is a beauty with no equal, a lover of unparalleled skill, an experience no mare could ever resist!”

“Well, I’m glad you’re bouncing back in a hurry, at least,” Starlight said as she trudged back over to her desk. Letting out a loud sigh, she used her magic to summon up a fresh pot of coffee, poured herself a cup--black and bitter as Tartarus, just like her current mood--and knocked back a slug before getting back to her paperwork. “I’ve got to get this done before the day’s over, Trixie. I think you should probably get back to yours too.”

Trixie waved a hoof dismissively. “Psh. Trixie is all caught up on her paperwork. She always is, you know that.” She stepped closer to the desk and eyed the essay Starlight was grading. “You never did tell Trixie what you’re doing with your vacation.”

“Oh, that?” Starlight finished grading the essay and moved on to the next one. “I’ve decided I’m going to the human world. Sunset and her girlfriend are leaving on a long trip together, and Sunset needed someone to watch over her apartment. I figured some time away from home, chilling somewhere else, was exactly what I needed right now.”

“Oooh, the human world?” Trixie’s eyes filled with stars. Her muzzle split into a wide, toothy grin. “Oh, Starlight, you keep telling me stories about it but you never let me go with you. I want to see the human world! And I’ve got vacation time saved up. I can go on vacation with you. What do you say? You wanna spend some quality time hanging out with your gal pal Trixie?”

Snap! Cursing under her breath, Starlight disposed of the broken quill and pulled out a new one. “Trixie, I’ve told you why I don’t let you go. You have an alternate there. And Twilight doesn’t want anyone with an alternate going through the mirror. She’s worried about that causing problems with the local authorities there, or worse.”

Trixie rolled her eyes and smirked. “Oh, come now, Starlight. Surely you know Trixie can hide herself if she needs to. There won’t be any problems. It’s not like Sunset’s apartment is that far from the portal.”

“How would you know--”

“So all we gotta do is get there. Then we can hang out! Just like we did when we went to Saddle Arabia. Just, you know, without the tiny wagon this time.” She grinned for about five more seconds before her smile vanished, replaced by a worried expression. “Um, Sunset’s apartment is bigger than my wagon, right?”

“It is, but--”

Trixie thrust herself forward till she was mere inches from Starlight’s face, the tip of her nose pressing against the end of Starlight’s muzzle. “Oooh, come on, Starlight! I’ve been wanting to vacation somewhere away from Ponyville anyway. And we haven’t spent a lot of time together lately. Please? Pleaaase?”

Starlight hissed, wrapped her field around Trixie’s middle and pulled her up and away from the desk. “Okay, okay! Fine! Look, I’ll ask Twilight, okay? If she says you can go, then… then you can go. ‘Cause I guess it would be nice to have a friend over.” And maybe… maybe I can finally get through to you.

“Yes!” Trixie pumped a hoof up in the air and beamed. “Oh I’m so excited! I’ll go pack right away! See you at Twilight’s castle in an hour!” She zipped out the door before Starlight could say another word.

Sighing once more, Starlight returned to grading her papers. “She’s going to be annoyed when she realizes I’m not going to be there for three hours,” she murmured to herself.

Three hours later, right on cue, Starlight trotted into the Castle of Friendship, finding Trixie sprawled over a couch in the foyer, bored to tears. “Oh, there you are, Starlight!” she said, bouncing back to life immediately. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

“Well you didn’t give me a chance to tell you how long I’d be,” Starlight said, unable to quell her amused grin. “And I’ll be a few more minutes yet. I still need to pack.”

Trixie’s whole body crumpled back onto the couch. “Ooooh, do you need me to help? Because Trixie really wants to ask Princess Twilight already and she’s been waiting forever…”

Starlight snickered, then patted Trixie gently atop the head. “No no, I’ll be fine. Be right back.”

Whistling nonchalantly to herself, Starlight trotted casually to her room and threw together the few things she needed. Maybe it was petty, but a little bit of waiting never really hurt anypony, right? She emerged a good ten minutes later, her saddlebags packed. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

“Finally!” Trixie blurted as she leapt off the couch and gathered her own bags from the floor. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

They found Twilight in her study, working on a research project. She wasn’t always in Ponyville these days, not since taking over Equestria as its ruler, but every once in a while she used the castle as a home away from home. It wouldn’t get too much use otherwise. Not for the first time Starlight found herself impressed with how tall Twilight had become. She’d only been Princess of all Equestria for three years and she already matched Princess Cadance in height.

When she heard them come in, she looked up from her work, startled. Initially she grinned, though upon seeing Trixie it dimmed a tad. “Oh, hello Starlight… Trixie… what can I do for you?”

“Ah, well, you see,” Starlight said, a nervous grin gracing her face. “You know how I’m going to watch Sunset’s apartment for her while she’s on her trip with her girlfriend?”

“Well, yes, I do,” Twilight said, arching an eyebrow. “I already approved that. Why are you…” Then she frowned, glaring at Trixie. “Oh no. No, no, no. No way.”

“Oh but Trixie didn’t even get a chance to ask yet!” Trixie spluttered, her mouth falling open in dismay.

“And I know what you’re going to ask, Trixie, and the answer is no,” Twilight declared, emphasizing her point by slapping her quill down on her desk. “Your alternate is very well known over there. She’s become a country-wide sensation. Do you know what people are going to say when they see a copy of her running around the place?”

“Come on, Twilight,” Starlight cajoled with a snort. “It can’t be that bad. It’s not like they don’t know magic exists. And plenty of people know there’s two of you there sometimes.”

Twilight shook her head. “That may be so, but that’s not the point. Equestrian magic causes enough issues with the local authorities there without having to deal with reports of people being cloned. I’ve stopped visiting except for special occasions for that very reason.”

“But Trixie won’t be ‘running around the place,’” Trixie protested, taking a few steps forward. “She’ll just be sitting in Sunset’s apartment. With Starlight. She won’t even go anywhere else!”

Twilight stood up, her bearing becoming more regal by the second, especially once she spread her wings out. Starlight took an immediate step back when she saw that. Whenever Twilight turned on “Princess Mode” around her friends, as Starlight liked to call it, she meant business. “I’ve made my decision, Trixie, and that’s final. You’re not going.”

Trixie reeled back as if she’d been slapped, her eyes welling up with tears. “But… I just want to spend time with Starlight…” Her lips wobbled, her knees shaking. Then she abruptly hurled herself at Twilight’s hooves, prostrating on the floor. “Oh please, please Twilight? I just want to do it once! I’ll never ask again I promise. Just let me go with Starlight? Please?”

Glaring at Trixie like she was a cockroach scuttling across the ground, Twilight sighed, then looked over at Starlight. “If--if--I let her go, can you promise to keep her out of sight? I mean it when I say I don’t want to cause trouble over there. Their Trixie is a celebrity. If any paparazzi catch wind of her--”

“They won’t. They won’t! I promise,” Starlight replied with a firm nod. Darn it, Trixie. You’d better not regret making me stand up for you like this. This better be worth it. “Sunset’s going to meet me at the portal. She’ll take us over in her car and drop us off, then when we’re ready to come home she’ll take us right back. No one will even see Trixie.”

Trixie inched her head up to meet Twilight’s gaze from the floor. “Please, Twilight? I’ll be good.”

“Uuuugh, fine!” Twilight shook Trixie off of her, then plopped back down on her chair. “Go. Before I change my mind again.”

“Eeee!” Trixie squealed, hopping up at once and grinning like a loon. “Thank you thank you thank you! Come on, Starlight, let’s go!” She bounced out of the room in a passable imitation of Pinkie Pie’s particular prance.

“Sorry about that, Twilight,” Starlight said, lingering for a moment. “She kinda got to me too.”

Twilight looked up at Starlight and a soft smile graced her face. “I can tell. She has a way of doing that, doesn’t she?”

“Yup, sure does,” Starlight nodded.

“And you know,” Twilight added, her eyes twinkling with mischief, “this could be good for you too. That’s the real reason I’m letting her go.”

“What?” Starlight blinked, then burst into overexcited, anxious laughter. “Ohoho, Twilight, what’re you talking about? I don’t know what you mean!”

“Uh huh. Sure you don’t, Starlight,” Twilight replied with a knowing grin. She returned her attention to her project. “Have fun.”

Starlight’s whole body burned like fire as she left Twilight’s office. “When did she become so perceptive?” she muttered to herself while descending the stairs. “I’m not in love with Trixie.”

“What did you say, Starlight?” Trixie asked, looking back up the stairs.

“Nothing!” Starlight replied, flashing up a strained smile. “Let's just get to the portal, shall we?”

Nowadays, like a lot of places in the Castle of Friendship, the portal room was protected by a rune-based enchantment, forbidding entry unless Twilight herself granted it, something she’d set up after leaving for Canterlot. Starlight keyed in the deactivation charm, allowing herself and Trixie entry, then tossed it back up after closing the door. Then she approached the portal itself. Floating out her enchanted notebook, she scrawled a quick note inside, telling Sunset they were on their way.

“Can we go yet? Can we? Can we?” Trixie said as she danced in place, unable to sit still.

Starlight waited a moment till she saw the answering reply in the journal, then nodded. “Yeah. Sunset’s on the other side. Just… Trixie, you remember that we’re going to be on two legs, right?”

“Pfft, Trixie walks on two legs all the time for some of her more tricky acts,” Trixie replied with a shrug. “She’ll be fine.”

“Oookay, well, follow me then.” Starlight stepped up to the portal and triggered the activation mechanism. It sizzled to life before them, brimming with magic, an eerie sound filling the room.

Trixie took one look at it and gulped, taking a few steps back till she put Starlight between herself and the portal. “Um, you’re sure this is safe, right Starlight? Right?”

“Of course it’s safe,” Starlight said, rolling her eyes. “I’ve been through it several times. It’s fine.”

“Aah, well… okay… you first, then,” Trixie said, waving her hoof for Starlight to move.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Starlight stepped forward, then sank herself into the portal. Like always, the sensation tingled as it twisted and changed her body, stretching her out, forcing her limbs to conform to a human shape, all the while swirling like water down a storm drain. Then she popped out on the other side, clad in her usual ripped jeans, jaunty hat, and green t-shirt with vest. She wobbled for a moment as she adjusted to walking on two legs. “Oh, hey there, Sunset,” she said, waving.

Sunset Shimmer grinned and waved back. “Hey, Starlight, good to see you again! So, all packed and ready?”

“Yup!” Starlight took off her saddlebags, which had transformed into a comfortable backpack. “All here. Ready for a week of kicking back and doing nothing.”

“Awesome,” Sunset said. Then she snapped her fingers. “Hey, your note said you were bringing someone else. I’m cool with it, but, who is it? It’s not Twilight, right?”

“Ah, no… not Twilight. You see--”

Starlight’s explanation was interrupted by a wild scream as Trixie shot out of the portal like a cannonball, colliding with Starlight and sending them both hurtling onto the concrete. “Oooh,” Trixie moaned as she got up on her knees, rubbing her chin with one hand. “That hurt.”

“What the heck did you do, gallop through the portal?” Starlight shot back as she hefted herself to her feet, then held out a hand to Trixie.

Trixie took it and pulled herself up, nearly yanking Starlight’s arm out of its socket in the process. She quaked and shook on her feet, throwing her arms out and yelping, waving her arms frantically till she got a grip on her footing. “Aaah! There we go. This is harder than it looks.”

“I thought you said you walked on two legs all the time,” Starlight quipped.

Trixie brushed off her clothes. Much like when Twilight crossed over, the portal gave her a different outfit than the local Trixie. Instead of a casual hoodie and skirt with tennis shoes, she wore a pair of royal blue slacks accompanied by a belt with her cutie mark emblazoned upon the clasp, an open double-breasted business jacket in a lighter shade of blue, and a white button shirt plus a bow tie, accompanied by a pair of comfortable, high end flats. It was a surprisingly professional look for the laid back mare, but it certainly befit her position as a guidance counselor at the School of Friendship. “Yes, well, it’s much easier when you have hooves. And a horn.”

“Uh, Trixie?” Sunset said, reminding both of them of her presence. She eyed Trixie for a moment, then flashed Starlight a confused look. “Is that the pony Trixie? Why is she coming with you?”

“Oh, hello there!” Trixie said, rushing forth. She beamed, batting her eyes. “Sunset Shimmer, I take it? Starlight’s told me all about you. It’s good to finally meet you.” Making a fist, she stuck it out as if trying for a hoof bump.

Sunset, to her credit, bumped it back without question. “Same. I think. Sorry, I know the Trixie here pretty well, but I haven’t heard much about you. So you’re gonna house sit with Starlight?”

“Yes. If that’s okay,” Trixie answered, still batting her eyelashes.

“Yeah, I’m cool with it.” Sunset glanced around the area. Fortunately it seemed no students or anyone else was around, as it was late evening in Canterlot City. “Then we’d better get you in the car. I’m guessing Twilight doesn’t want you seen by anyone. This way.”

As Sunset walked in the direction of her vehicle, Trixie sidled up to Starlight’s side and whispered in her ear, “You didn’t tell me she was hot.”

Starlight resisted the urge to face palm, if only just. “She’s also got a girlfriend she’s probably going to marry. It’s not happening.”

“Hey, I didn’t say I was going to ask her out,” Trixie replied with a smirk. “I’m just saying she’s hot.”

Privately, Starlight agreed, but she also wasn’t about to say that aloud. “I’m just curious to meet her girlfriend. I don’t think I’ve met her before, and she’s never named her in the journal.”

“What’s this thing we’re about to ride in again?” Trixie asked as they approached Sunset’s car, a four-door ice blue sedan.

“It’s called a car, Trixie, I’ve told you about them like a million times,” Starlight groaned. Then she eyed it again, curious. “Sunset, when did you get this car? Last I heard you had a motorcycle.”

“Oh, I still do,” Sunset replied as she pulled out her keys. “It’s just in storage. But I bought this a few months ago. It gets more use than you’d think.” She pressed the button on her fob, unlocking the car. “Starlight, can you ride in back with Trixie and show her how to put on a seatbelt? I don’t want to get pulled over by Shining Armor. Again.”

Starlight opened the back door for Trixie. “Go ahead, get in.”

“Right, okay,” Trixie replied as she got into the backseat. It took her a couple of minutes of fumbling and instruction from Starlight but she got her seatbelt on. “Ready.”

Starlight sat back and clicked her own in place as Sunset started the engine, then got onto the road. “Soooo…” Starlight said. “Where’s your girlfriend? I figured she’d be here with you.”

“Huh? Oh, she’s back at the apartment,” Sunset answered distractedly, keeping her eyes on the road. “She’s finishing up with the packing for our trip. It took a bit longer than we expected to get ready.”

Trixie, showcasing her usual lack of tact, added, “Why haven’t you told anyone her name?”

Sunset slowed to a halt at a red light before she responded, her face aflame. “Aheh, you see… it’s… well… I figured Princess Twilight might be a little… concerned. If she knew.”

Starlight blinked, stared, then finally slapped a hand to her face. “It’s one of the sirens, isn’t it? Which is it? Sonata? Aria?”

“Adagio,” Sunset replied with a shaky smile. “Look, you won’t tell Princess Twilight, will you? I still haven’t figured out how to break the news to her without her thinking Adagio’s trying to turn me evil again or something.”

“Siren?” Trixie questioned, staring blankly at them. “What’s a siren?”

Quietly, Starlight leaned over and quickly explained to Trixie. The explanation took almost the entire rest of the journey, at which point Trixie finally nodded in understanding. “Ooooh. Yeah I don’t blame you for being worried, Sunset,” Trixie said. “She’s kinda weird like with former villains.”

“Some former villains, anyway,” Starlight replied with a roll of her eyes. Then she frowned. “Huh. We’re all former villains here, aren’t we?”

“Trixie was never a villain,” Trixie snorted, thrusting her nose up and crossing her arms. “She was just misunderstood.”

“And possessed by an evil amulet,” Sunset interjected. At Trixie’s glare, she smiled sheepishly. “What? Twilight told me about that incident.”

“Trixie prefers to forget about that altogether,” Trixie muttered.

Sunset pulled up to the sidewalk and parked right outside the brownstone apartment. Street lights ticked on all up and down the road as the sun set behind the horizon. “Let’s get you inside before anyone sees you, Trixie,” she said, exiting the car. Fumbling for her keys, she walked up to her apartment door and unlocked it, beckoning them inside.

“Sunset? Is that you?” called a very familiar voice.

Sunset froze, as did Starlight. Trixie, however, just seemed confused. “What? You said we’re going inside, right? Let’s go.”

“No, Trixie, wait!” Starlight said, reaching out a hand as Trixie pushed past them.

Too late. She heard the surprised shout in stereo, complete with a twin cry of, “you’re me!” Exchanging a terrified look with Sunset, Starlight entered the apartment.

It appeared much the way it had the few times she’d been inside before, apart from a few updated pieces of furniture, and a few new decorations that must’ve been Adagio’s effect on the place. And, just as she expected, the human Trixie stood inside, face contorted in confusion, arm raised, finger pointing right at the pony Trixie who mirrored her every movement. Adagio, meanwhile, stood nearby, scowling at this display.

Sunset spread out her hands in a questioning manner. “What… Adagio, why is Trixie here?”

“That’s what I was about to ask her,” Adagio growled, shifting her weight onto one leg. “I came out of the bathroom to find her standing inside our apartment.”

“I just wanted to wish you two well on your trip, that’s all,” said the human Trixie, dropping her hand to her side. “I-I wasn’t expecting to see another me.”

“We were supposed to be avoiding something like this,” Starlight said, slumping over. “Too late now.”

Adagio glanced over at Starlight. Starlight and Adagio hadn’t met before, but Starlight had heard Adagio described to her often enough to recognize her. Ridiculously thick, poofy hair, spikes on every part of her clothing, low cut blouses exposing just enough cleavage to tantalize humans who saw her, skirt with a leg slit for the same purpose, high heeled boots… yeah, that was a siren all right. “And I take it you’re Starlight Glimmer,” Adagio said, her tone softening, becoming a bit more friendly.

“I am,” Starlight replied, then turned to the human Trixie. “Listen, uh, Trixie, I’m sorry we scared you. We had no idea you’d be here.”

The human Trixie, to her credit, recovered quickly, running a hand through her hair and beaming. “Trixie was startled, is all. If I’m honest? I’ve been hoping something like this would happen sooner or later. I’ve always wanted to meet my other self!”

“Really?” said pony Trixie, preening over the attention. “Well, in that case, it’s a pleasure to meet someone as beautiful as myself. Trixie Lulamoon, at your service.”

Human Trixie giggled, her face flushing. “Likewise,” she said as she held out a hand. “Tell me, do you like magic as much as I do?”

“Of course. Trixie is nothing if not Great and Powerful,” replied pony Trixie, taking her alternate’s hand as her own cheeks turned a rosy pink. “Much like yourself, I would imagine.”

“Well, of course,” human Trixie said as she took a step forward, her fingers interlacing with her alternate’s. “What else would Trixie do?”

“I think I have a few ideas,” pony Trixie said, her smile stretching from ear to ear.

“Oooh? Do tell.”

Starlight’s blood boiled as she took several steps back so she could lean over to Sunset. “Uh, what’s happening here?” she said in a harsh whisper.

“Something I don’t have time to deal with right now,” Sunset replied. She rushed over to a set of suitcases sitting at the base of the stairs. “Look, I need to get these out to the car. Adagio and I have a hotel waiting for us a few hours up the road. I’d like to get there before midnight. Here’s the keys to the apartment.” She pulled them out of her pocket and slapped them down on a table. “Food’s in the fridge. I’ve got some money set aside for you if you need to go grocery shopping. Thanks again for watching the place.”

“Yeah. Thanks,” Adagio added as she took up a couple suitcases of her own. She followed Sunset out the door, though she paused long enough to stick her head back inside and snicker at the display of the two Trixies before shutting the door behind her.

“Great. Thanks. Thanks for leaving me with this mess,” Starlight sneered. She turned back to the two Trixies, who now had both hands interlaced. “Excuse me, Trixie, Trixie, but… what’re you doing?”

“Hmm?” The pony Trixie turned back to Starlight. “What? I’m making a new friend. What’s wrong with that?”

“Yeah, Starlight,” human Trixie added with a glare. “What’s wrong with that?”

Starlight’s heart hammered in her chest as she hissed through her teeth. “Okay, number one, human Trixie, you and I have never met, so don’t act like you know me,” Starlight said, holding out her fingers to count on. “Number two, pony Trixie, you just got out of a bad relationship. I don’t think you’re thinking clearly. Number three, you are the same person.”

“No we’re not,” both Trixies spoke in unison. Then they looked at each other and burst into identical giggle fits. “Okay,” added pony Trixie, “maybe we’re pretty similar. But come on, Starlight. We’re not the same person. We can’t be. We live different lives. Sure, we have the same name. The same gorgeous smile, the same luxurious hair, the same sparkling eyes.”

“Oh, do go on,” human Trixie said.

“Oh I will,” pony Trixie replied with a smug smile that fueled Starlight’s growing anger. “But my point, Starlight, is that while we might be very similar, we’re not the same. We can’t be.”

“But… but… you just met!” Starlight cried, thrusting her hands up in the air. “You don’t even know each other!”

“Hmm… she’s not wrong, Trixie,” human Trixie said, tapping a finger to her chin in consideration. “We really should get to know each other. Say, over dinner? At my place?”

“I’d love to, Trixie,” replied pony Trixie with a wink. Then her smile weakened. “Oh, but the whole reason I came here was to keep Starlight company.”

“That’s fine,” human Trixie said, nodding. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. “We can order in. I’ve got it covered. I’m taking a few weeks off before I go on tour again anyway. I have nothing but time on my hands right now.”

“Oh, right, Twilight said you were a country-wide celebrity,” pony Trixie said, her eyes sparkling with interest. “I’m pretty popular in Equestria myself, but I’m guessing you’re even more so.”

“Well, you could say that,” human Trixie said with a casual shrug. “I mean, after you count the cost of setting up, breaking down, staff salaries, travel costs, supply costs… I only make a few million dollars a year. Really it’s hardly anything when it comes to major celebrities. So, do you like Qilinese?”

“Yes, but, vegetarian please.”

“Naturally.”

As the two Trixies sat down on the couch and chatted away incessantly, Starlight, finding herself completely ignored, wandered over to the far side of the apartment and dumped herself into a chair. “Great. Just great,” she groaned, the fire of rage in her heart quelled by the cold water of sorrow. “The one chance I had to get some decent alone time with Trixie, where I could finally talk to her about my feelings for once, and she pulls this crap.” Doubling over, her face fell into her hands. “Oh, what am I saying? I’m an adult. If I actually cared enough to be involved with Trixie, I would’ve just asked her outright. This tap-dancing around crap is what teenagers pull, not mares in their late twenties.”

Then she blinked, and looked up. “Hey!” she called. “Human Trixie. How old are you?”

Human Trixie glanced her way then replied, “I’m twenty-one, why?”

“Wait,” pony Trixie said, blinking. “You’re only twenty-one?”

“Well, yeah, I just graduated from high school a few years ago,” human Trixie replied. “Why?”

“Huh. That’s weird. I’m twenty-seven.”

The human Trixie moved away from the pony Trixie, her face twisting with uncertainty. “Is… that a problem, that I’m younger?”

Pony Trixie blinked, then shook her head immediately and grinned. “No way. We’re both adults, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then it’s fine.” Pony Trixie held out a hand, her smile shifting to a kinder one. “It doesn’t bother me at all. I was just surprised.”

“Oh, good!” human Trixie smiled happily, taking the other Trixie’s hand again. “Trixie was afraid it would be an issue.”

Pony Trixie shook her head and gave human Trixie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Not at all. If anything, it just proves what I said to Starlight. We’re not the same person. One of us just has a bit more experience.” She winked as she said that last word.

Human Trixie’s face heated up, blooming with red. “Experience sounds good,” she murmured.

“Uuugh,” Starlight groaned as the two Trixies went back to chatting. “It’s fine. I’m good with this. I’m good with my best friend, whom I’d love to date if I ever got the chance, falling in love with herself from another universe. I’m totally fine with this. It doesn’t bother me at all. Nope.”

The doorbell rang. “Hey, Starlight, food’s here,” human Trixie said as she went to the door. She opened it, thanked the delivery person, then closed the door and brought the food over to Sunset’s dining table. “I made sure to get vegetarian only.”

“Thanks,” Starlight grunted as she trudged over to join them.

What proceeded was a thoroughly uncomfortable--for Starlight that is--dinner, where she wasn’t so much a third wheel as she was barely acknowledged.

But afterwards, when she was helping to clean up with the dishes in Sunset’s small kitchen, pony Trixie sidled up to her. “Hey, listen, Starlight, you okay? You seem pretty glum.”

“I’m fine,” Starlight snapped as she scrubbed the last plate, rinsed it, and placed it in the drying rack. “Just peachy.”

“No, you’re not,” Trixie insisted. She waited for Starlight to finish washing and drying her hands, then pulled her away from the sink over to a corner of the apartment. “Look. I know I don’t always pay attention to things, but we’ve done this before. Remember the bottle?”

“Vividly,” Starlight growled, her words coated with acid.

“Then you know I know you’re angry. What I don’t get is why?” Trixie set her hands on Starlight’s shoulders. “I’m your friend. You can tell me. That’s what friends do, right?”

For a moment, Starlight seethed, tempted to shove Trixie’s arms away, leave the apartment and march herself straight for the portal and home. She considered ignoring her problems. Again. And then her own words just a bit ago came back to her, and her anger died away. “I’m… I’m sorry, Trixie. You’re right. I am angry. It’s not at you, not, not really. It’s at myself.”

Human Trixie looked over from the couch. “Is something wrong?”

“Give us a couple minutes, please,” pony Trixie replied. Then she turned back to Starlight. “But I’m involved, it sounds like.”

“Kind of?” Starlight sighed and wandered over to the closest chair, which turned out to be Sunset’s desk chair. Seating herself down, she continued, “Look, Trixie, this… oh for pony’s sake. I’m just going to say it. I like you. A lot. I care about you. And, well, I’m interested in dating you. I have been for a while.”

Trixie’s face went blank, and it took her a few minutes to respond. “Okay. That’s not the answer Trixie expected. I didn’t know you felt that way about me. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Well, I never had the chance,” Starlight responded with a strained frown. “There was always some big friendship based emergency we had to deal with, or you were dating somepony else, and-and I didn’t want to make things awkward. So I kept quiet, okay? I’m still learning how to properly handle my feelings. I should’ve said something sooner, and I’m sorry.”

Trixie nodded and bit her lip. She turned away for a good minute or two before facing Starlight again. “Listen, Starlight, I… I like you, and you’re my best friend. You know that, right? But… I… I’m not interested in you like that. Never was. It just never seemed right to me.”

Starlight nodded. A bittersweet laugh escaped her lips as a mirthless smile graced her face. “Guess I should’ve expected that, huh? And here I was just starting to think two Trixies might be even more fun than one.”

Trixie snorted with laughter at that. “Oh Starlight,” she said as she hugged her friend. “You’re great, you know that? You’ll always be my best friend. And I mean that the real way, not the weird Ponyville slang term way.”

“That’s fair enough,” Starlight said as she hugged her back. “It is kind of weird, huh?”

“Yeah. Sooo easy to misunderstand.” Trixie released the hug, then her smile dimmed just slightly. “You can accept this, right? I… I just want that to be clear, so there’s no confusion between us.”

Starlight smiled, this time with sincere warmth. The weight in her heart, the one she’d never allowed herself to acknowledge, faded away. “Yeah, yeah I can. It… it feels better, finally getting an answer. It’s not the answer I wanted, but I can live with it. I’m an adult.”

“Good to hear it,” Trixie beamed. Then she gestured over to the couch. “C’mon, sit down with us. Trixie was just about to put on some human movies for us. Something about stars and wars. It sounds really cool.”

“Sure does,” Starlight replied as she joined her friend. Soon she was laughing and oohing and ahhing at the film, fully engrossed. Maybe this week wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Though she could’ve done without seeing the two Trixies kiss.

Author's Note

What can I say? Trixie is too much fun to write. And who doesn't love some casual background Sunsagio? :scootangel:

Oh but don't take this as me rejecting the StarTrix ship full hog. I actually think it's pretty cute. But having it be friendship only fit this story better.

I hope this made you laugh. Thanks for reading. :twilightsmile: