The Element of Justice

by Luminous Lapis

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Violence, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Romance, Original Character, Trixie, Suicide / Self Harm, Rarity
Length: 7623

Witness Lapis as he struggles through life, fighting for what he loves and all the while burying his dark secrets.

Life is hard. It’s a fact that Lapis is all too familiar with and one he wishes he didn’t understand. By the time he’s almost 18 and living with a certain magic performer he truly believes that his life is destined to be horrible. Unknown to him however is that his life is about to change in a rather strange way and to his horror, all of the secrets and horrors from the past he’s fought so hard to hide are suddenly beginning to surface.

Published 2021-05-01 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-08-24 21:43:18 UTC

Prologue

There was only darkness. It overtook everything almost immediately and with terrifying ease. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't hear, I couldn't see, I could only fear it. It burrowed deep inside and froze me inside and out. Everything became colder by the second. It was unbearable but somehow I just kept getting worse and worse and worse. I became numb. There was nothing I could do against such an overwhelming force and I gave in, unable to fight the unfeeling cold and dark. It spoke softly to me, promising me comfort and release from the pain.

...There's no more need to fight...
...No more need for pain or suffering...
....Just let it go...
...Let somepony else take control...
...Let it all end...
...You have to trust us...

Faintly, there was a warmth. It touched the ends of my hooves, slowly burning away the cold. I heard a hiss of pain and the warmth spread even further. The cold dug deeper and deeper, unwilling to let go. Both forces burned me and I couldn't do anything to stop them. For a time, they fought over me, and for the first time in a while, I felt something. I felt pain.

But it was a good pain. It gave me something to focus on, something to fight against. My eyes opened and though it was extremely bright I saw two figures on either side of me. One was dark, cold, and unfeeling. The other couldn't be more opposite. It didn't take long for me to know which one to fight for. It seemed the two beings were at a standstill.

I opened my mouth and again, for the first time in a while, yelled with conviction. I struggled toward the light and immediately heard an earth-shaking roar behind me, prompting me to move faster. A form in the light appeared but something gripped my hoof and yanked it out from beneath me. I looked backward and saw a shadowy tendril pulling me into the dark. In a panic, I scrambled forward but kept being pulled away from the light. I reached towards it.

"HELP! Please!"

Immediately, what seemed to be a beam of pure light shot toward me and wrapped painfully tight around my hoof. It burned, but the pain gave me something to focus on, something to feel. Several more tendrils of dark stretched towards me but the light responded by sending out several blasts of energy and more tendrils as well. The closer I got to it, the harder the darkness seemed to fight but thankfully, the light seemed to be able to hold it back.

It loomed closer and closer before it released me and I stood before it. "W-Why did you save me?" The vague form in the middle of the light said nothing but seemed to beckon me closer. I hesitated for a moment before hearing a muffled crash behind me. It was the darkness, clawing and fighting its way inside a barrier I had previously unnoticed. I looked forward again and saw the figure much more franticly gesture towards me, than itself. In a shocking moment of clarity, I realized I had a choice. Light or dark.

Everything faded as I stared at my hoof unable to understand why I was here or why I had to make such a choice. I closed my eyes as faintly I heard the barrier break and a roar that faded quickly. For me, there was no choice. I was doomed no matter what I chose and that I was sure of. It didn't matter how much I wanted to change things, I just... couldn't.

I felt numb.

1: Ponyville

Author's Note

I like to use colored thoughts a lot for my story so here’s a handy list of translations!

Neutral

Anger

Worry

Confusion

Curiosity

Annoyance

Sadness

Fear

1: Ponyville

I sighed, trying to let out a lot of stress. “This is going to be a long day.” My front hooves gripped the sides of the sink, and I bowed my head, breathing deeply for a few moments. My light blue, almost grey eyes slowly looked up, meeting themselves in the mirror. I looked horrible, to say the least. My dark blue coat was rumpled and messy, glowing a dull color rather than beaming brightly. My teal mane streaked with red was just as bedraggled. Dark bags sagged under my eyes, reminding me of how little sleep I got last night. Because of- Don't think about it. That only makes it worse.

I resolutely pushed the thought away and opened my eyes again, continuing my solemn gaze. Three scars traced my face, having scarred me for so long. A middle scar ran diagonally from the top of my left eye down to the bottom of my right eye. The other two were above and below the middle one, mirroring it and running in the same direction. They’re meaningless. Forgot about them. I closed my eyes and my horn glowed a dark, almost purple blue. When I opened them, the scars were gone. But I knew however much I desperately tried to hide them, forget them, they would always be there, forever. "Lapis! Come on! I woke you up five minutes ago! That’s plenty of time for you to be ready by now!”

I bowed my head, a grimace quickly appearing, and a groan escaping my mouth. "I'm coming!" I irritably yelled back. The handles on the sink glowed as I turned them on, quickly splashing water over my face. I dried myself then turned toward the door, hesitating for a moment to lean against the frame. "Come on, just one day, it’s just one day. You can survive that.” I muttered to myself before pushing the door open.

A blast of sights, smells, and sounds filled my mind. The air was crisp and fresh bringing with it the continual promise of winter soon approaching, ponies and creatures alike calling happily to each other in the town below with the wind carrying the noise up to me, buildings spaced apart with beautiful architecture and coloring. I breathed deeply, then sighed. "Alright Lapis, we've got most of the day before the performances, giving us plenty of time to see the majority of Ponyville." I looked in front of me, instantly recognizing the light blue mare struggling to pack a saddlebag. Trixie. I bent down, gripped my already packed saddlebags in my mouth, and tossed them onto my back. I silently grumbled my displeasure as I tightened my saddlebag around my body. This is stupid! I don’t want to do this!

Trixie pulled her saddlebags on and marched forward without a single word. I quickly followed after her, trying to drop my annoyance, but it clung to my mind.

"What's this celebration for again?" I asked, trying to distract myself.
"I've told you a million times. It's the Summer Sun Celebration, made in commemoration of Princess Luna and Celestia."
"Hmm.”

We entered the main part of the town, the streets now becoming crowded, most likely because of the celebration. We walked for a while, with Trixie pointing out several large and small locations as we progressed. I stopped to admire a nearby store window, currently showcasing a book, before finally turning away. "Hey, Trixie..." I broke off as I realized she was not beside me. She must've kept walking. Oh well. A small flicker of fear filled my chest. It wasn’t that I was afraid of being alone, but it was being in an unfamiliar, extremely crowded place.

Silently I cursed myself for losing track of her. Well I can look around on my own. As long as I do and don’t leave Trixie can’t get mad at me. I started walking then stopped. Hopefully.

I wandered the town for a while, completely unaware of where I was, or what I was doing. It seemed the farther I walked, the more crowded it became. I tried to slide past a yak on one side, and an earth stallion on the other, before suddenly being pushed forward, slamming into something. I was face to face with a pair of bright amber eyes.

Again, I tried to back up, before suddenly bumping against something. The mare the amber eyes belonged to widened as she looked above me. "Look out!” I followed her gaze upwards toward crates falling toward me. My horn glowed and I shut my eyes tight in concentration. After a moment, my head snapped downward toward the ground and I recognized the unfortunate familiar pain of whiplash. I groaned, then opened my eyes, looking around.

My shield, a light blue seemed to have several intact wooden crates, as well as several broken ones piled up around it. I dropped the barrier spell and the remaining compact boxes broke, sliding and scattering scraps of wood, fruits, and vegetables everywhere. My hoof slowly rubbed the base of my neck and I groaned again, shutting my eyes tight in pain and wishing for an ice pack.

"Hey, are you ok?"
I stared at the ground, suddenly very uncomfortable. My gaze flickered upwards and I saw a loose circle filled with all kinds of differing creatures. They were whispering and talking, without a doubt about me. I felt nervous and scared, it was extremely overwhelming. It didn’t matter to me if somepony talked behind my back about me, but this was very different. I’d accidentally made a scene and everypony knew it. My breathing became ragged and my head whipped side to side, staring fearfully into the eyes of the crowd before settling on the mare who had startled me. Immediately, I was startled again as I stared at the mare before me, unable to look away.

She had the fangs of a bat pony but confusingly, the wings of a Pegasi. Her coat was a deep purple and her mane was a dark grey but somehow shone extremely bright. Lastly, I noticed her eyes, they were such a bright amber color that I found myself lost in them.

I forced myself to look away, staring at the ground once more. "S-Sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." My hooves slowly lifted off the ground as I took a half step back.
"What? Oh no, it's ok! That wasn't your fault. That was an accident." I gave a small shake of my head. "No its not. I didn't want this to happen." One of my hind legs broke through a crate as I continued to move backward. The mare stared at me and I tensed wishing desperately to be anywhere else, even being with Trixie would be better than this. It was utterly silent as everypony waited for something to happen. "I'm sorry about this." My horn glowed and I slowly pulled out a small spherical sack to the top of my saddle bag. The mare looked utterly confused before her eyes narrowed suspiciously then quickly widened as I threw the sack down at the ground. A plume of smoke spread outwards and quickly dashed forward right past the mare. She stood coughing and I felt guilty but kept running, trying to push my emotions aside.

I quickly realized the streets were too crowded and tried to find a way onto the rooftops. So I kept running and after doing so for a minute I saw several stacks of crates haphazardly lined up against a wall that seemed to belong to a warehouse. I turned towards them and my hooves stretched forward as I lept upwards and gripped the edge of a stack of crates before finding myself on top. I continued moving up the stacks of crates before they ended and I was forced to jump once again. It was a large jump but nothing I'd done before. It wasn't the most perfect jump I quickly realized as my chin banged against the roof edge.
Well... buck.

I hung in place for a minute as I contemplated what to do but as I looked down a shadow passed over me. I quickly looked up and felt the color drain from my face.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding."

2: Silver

Standing above me was the mare from before, unfortunately looking rather angry.

"Well well well what do we have here?" I groaned.

"Really? I'm dangling off the edge of a roof and you're taking the time to gloat?" She sat down right in front of me, preventing me from pulling myself up. A sly and superior smile spread across her face as she stared at me.

"Why did you run?" I shook my head.

"No. No, I'm not having a conversation about this right now. Let me up." Her smile spread, silently giving me her answer. I let out a small grunt of frustration. "I can't believe this. I literally refuse to believe this. I'm hanging at least a full story above the ground, a random mare I just met is trying to ransom my life just for the information of why I'm here by refusing to let me onto the roof she's on! And you want to know the worst part? I didn't even want to be here!"

My hooves gripped the roof edge tighter.

"But nooooo, we just had to come and see everything in Ponyville didn't we? Oh yes, go sightseeing and make some friends Lapis so I can..." I suddenly stopped, my mouth agape before slowly looking at the mare before me. She seemed extremely interested to my great displeasure. A heavy sigh escaped my chest. "Will you please let me up if you don't soon you'll be questioning a corpse." She stared past me, pretending to be unaware of my current plight. "I'll answer any of your questions!" Immediately, but still obviously not trusting me, the mare moved aside and I quickly pulled myself up and collapsed. After letting out a small groan and shutting my eyes tight I felt a shadow pass over me.

"Really? I haven't even been laying here for a minute and you're trying to ask me questions?"
"Sue me. I'm bored and I'd also like to know why you threw... whatever that was in my face."
I let out another sigh. "First off, that wasn't at your face, it was at the ground."
"You understood what I meant."
"Second, it was a smoke bomb."
"Why in the name of Celestia do you have a smoke bomb? Who carries smoke bombs around?"

I opened my eyes and stared up at her, a little ashamed I kept mentally referring to the mare without proper terms.
“I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

“Oh no don’t think you can just change the conversation by asking what my name is. That's not happening.”

I shook my head. “No seriously, you chased me down and let me hang on the edge of my roof before finally letting me up. I think I at least deserve your name.”

She seemed to believe me and relented. “Alright. My name is Silver. Silver Streak.”

"Really? That's quite a fitting name. Is it from your-"
"Yes, yes it's from the color of my mane. It was so… what’s the word? Colorful, or bland I suppose that my parents decided to give me my name off it.” I watched as Silver flicked her short mane in front of her.

"You think it's a nice color don't you?"
"Huh? W-Well I mean yes! I-I didn't mean to stare at you! That was rude! I’m sorry!” A knowing smile spread across her face.

“Ok enough messing around. I know quite a few ponies in Ponyville and I’ve never seen nor heard of you before. Therefore you have to be visiting or something like that.” I stared at Silver, caught a little off guard. “I… might be.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I won’t hesitate to push you off this roof.” I was now completely caught off guard. “Ummm… yeah let’s not do that please.” A small sigh escaped my mouth. “Alright fine I’m visiting with mmm…Myself. Just myself. Nopony else.”

Again, Silver raised her eyebrows but thankfully shrugged and didn’t press the topic. “So just you then? Any reason for this completely normal visit?”
I debated how much to tell her.
“Just a… visit. A tour!” Silver looked skeptical. “Yeah, a tour of all of Equestria! Next stop Yakistan!”

“…”
“…”
“All alone?”
“…Yep.”
“Got any postcards from anywhere else? Any proof?”
All I could do was turn and look as Silver saw right through my pitiful lie.

“No? Ok fine! I’m here with somepony else! Happy?"
She merely shrugged. "I'm just asking. No need to get all defensive about it."
I let out a small sigh. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry." Silver waved her wing and dispelled my small guilt. "It's ok. But if you don't mind me asking..."
Oh, here we go.
"Who is it you're here with?" I let out a small sigh, again not wanting to tell her anything but she seemed so...trusting.
I mean, it couldn't hurt, right? "I'm here with... Trixie Lulamoon. And please don't ask me why I'm begging you."

Silver looked a little unnerved but merely shrugged. "Ok, ok I won't ask if you don't want me to." I stared at her in shock. "Really? You won't?" Silver looked confused. "...Yes, I mean obviously I want to ask but it clearly bothers you enough to tell me not to. So I won't." I couldn't believe it. "Oh thank the Fates. Every time I go somewhere it's always 'Hey who are you?' 'Where are you from?' And it's so annoying! I just want to be left alone sometimes and no matter where I go ponies always ask me questions. It's not that I don't like them it's just that sometimes I don't want to talk and nopony seems to understand that." I glanced over at Silver, quickly realizing I had shared too much.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ramble on like that."
"It's ok. I can understand wanting to be left alone and such."

Her voice trailed off and we sat there, both of us unsure of what to do.
Oh, Fates I screwed up! Why do I do this every time I think I can trust somepony? I'm an idiot! The last time this happened was with her- NO! Don't think about her! You promised yourself you would forget!
"Well um anyway do you want to go do something? We've been talking here for a while now and I kinda don't want to miss the celebrations." I looked up. "You want to do something with me? Are you sure?" Silver gave me a small smile and for a moment I felt a strange warm feeling in my chest. "Of course. Why wouldn't I? I don't hate you or anything for not giving me an answer. We can still be friends." She stood up, stretched her wings, and held out her hoof.

At that moment I had a strange moment of clarity and realized I had two choices. I could go back to Trixie alone and continue my monotonous cycle of pain and suffering, or I could trust this mare who herself had no reason to trust me but did. With this mare, with Silver as my friend, I felt I had a chance to break my cycle.

I reached forward and grabbed her hoof. "That sounds great." Again, she smiled and then turned away. "Come on! Let's see if you can keep up roof runner!" She tensed her legs and wings before suddenly jumping and began flying away. I quickly ran after her, leaping across the roofs before suddenly realizing I was smiling.

She was fast, faster than most pegasi were but I managed to keep up. When the buildings ended I jumped down and continued on the ground unsure of where we were going but hardly caring. I could see the town square ahead, the sky darkened above, with the festivities below brightly lighting the surrounding area. I slowly came to a stop, watching as Silver circled for a moment before diving down and landing in front of me. We both lay down, out of breath and tired. "You're pretty fast you know. Well, for a unicorn at least." I scoffed. "Oh really? That's how it is?" She smiled. "Just calling it like I see it. Anyway, do you want to get in closer for the celebration or stick to the edges?"

I stood up. "Let's try to find Trixie and watch it with her. We're pretty close to her wagon." Silver stood as well. "Lead the way, runner." I couldn't help but smile as we started trotting along the edge of town where there weren't as many buildings. I wanted to talk but I felt too nervous, Silver however seemed to have no problem. "So how long are you visiting for?"
"Well, that depends. We planned on staying just for the celebration but who knows? It might change." We crested the hill with Trixie's wagon and I looked at Silver. "Finally! Trixie should be right he-"

I froze.
No...No...NO!

3: Trixie

"We're reporting live here on the world-famous Summer Sun celebration scene. Festivities are well underway and we are soon approaching the long-awaited moment of the night. Every year I think, 'Ponyville can't possibly gain more popularity.' And yet here we are more ponies than I've ever seen." A light blue earth pony mare with a brown mane stood before a camera, holding a microphone. "Well, Mint it's good to hear that Ponyville and the celebrations are doing well. I heard that even Princess Cadance herself came this year is that true?" A yellow unicorn stallion in a black suit sat behind a desk, looking forward into a camera. "Yes, Nimble she is up on the stage with the other-"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Mint faltered for a moment, she and almost everypony else around looked up, trying to figure out what they had just heard. Even the princesses, clad in their usual royal attire, hesitated as they too looked around. "Mint? What was that?" The blue mare slowly turned around, facing the camera. "I-I don't know... it sounded like somepony in pain. Lots of pain." Everything fell silent for a minute before Princess Twilight suddenly spoke. "Everypony please remain calm. We'll figure out who that was and what happened."

Seemingly on cue, there came another yell from the edge of town. "It came from over there! Quick zoom in with the camera!" Mint shook her partner wielding the camera and he quickly turned where she was directing. For a minute nothing happened but there was a sudden yell and it slowly became louder until everypony could hear it. "LAPIS!! STOP!! LAPIS!!" The camera zoomed in on a grey mare flying between the buildings, trying to keep pace with something. "Lapis!!" A large part of the crowd suddenly fell down and in the middle of them stood a dark blue unicorn stallion looking extremely angry.

"Lapis!" The grey mare suddenly landed in front of the stallion, holding out her hooves placatingly. "Hey, easy Lapis. Easy. I know you're in pain-"
"Don't you dare try to understand!! You could never understand my pain!! She was everything to me!!! And she abandoned me like I was nothing!!!" Lapis stood still, noticing the crowd and what he had stumbled into. His horn produced pitch-black sparks and his eyes flashed red. He suddenly noticed the camera but before he could do anything a purple barrier suddenly appeared around him. "Lapis! Lapis take it easy you're not thinking straight! You need to talk this out!" The grey mare stood outside the barrier frantically looking in and trying to speak to Lapis. Twilight teleported off the stage and next to the mare.

"I don't know who you are Lapis but I need you to calm down. She's right you're obviously not thinking straight." Lapis suddenly let out a loud yell. "I don't want to talk about it! Let me go!" His horn glowed a dark blue and he seemed to be focusing on something. Twilight dug in her hooves and focused as well. "Stop Lapis! I'm just trying to help!" For a moment, nothing happened as the two silently battled, and then Twilight suddenly spoke. "Help!!" The barrier suddenly grew thicker as the other three princesses added their power and Lapis fell to his knees, groaning. "LET. ME. GO!!!" He stood back up, yelling and there was a sudden flash of light, a loud boom, and a shockwave that pushed everypony back.

Twilight groaned, standing up as her ears rang. She fought to keep her balance and through smoke saw Lapis stand up and immediately fall, clutching his head. He... He just broke a shield spell from four allicorns. How? She stepped closer to Lapis, swaying for a moment but managing to keep her balance. Lapis was now leaning against the edge of the stage, looking like he was about to pass out. He suddenly vomited and let out an audible groan. Twilight decided to take action and teleported right next to Lapis. "Lapis!"

He turned, cheeks flushed red, and his face a pale white. His eyes suddenly widened as he recognized Twilight and his horn glowed blue for a moment before backfiring and causing him to recoil. He tried to crawl away but seemed completely exhausted and couldn't fight as Twilight gripped his tail and slowly dragged him backward. Twilight watched tears and fear filling the stallion's grey and blue eyes as she pulled him closer. "Hey easy I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help." He shook his head. "Please. Just leave m-me alone." When she didn't leave Lapis seemed to grow angry. "Leave me alone!" There was little conviction in his voice.

Twilight felt terrible for this stallion. He looked upset and hurt about something she didn't know but somepony else might. She turned to look at the grey mare who had first tried to calm the stallion and beckoned her closer. She sat down next to Twilight and looking worried, glanced back and forth between the two. "What's your name?"
"It's Silver, Princess." Twilight nodded, then turned to the stallion sat with his hind legs pulled close to his chest.
"Your name was Lapis, right?" He looked up, a mixture of anger and sorrow on his face before looking away.

"Listen, Lapis, I could help a little better if you let me know what's happening. Please?" Lapis shook his head. "You don't care. Nopony has ever cared about me." He spoke in a small voice.
"That's not true-"
"Yes, it is!" Lapis looked up, caught himself, and continued in a lower tone. "Yes, it is."
"Then why are you in such pain right now? If whoever it is doesn't care about you then you wouldn't have reacted the way you did, right?" He refused to answer, staring anywhere but the two mares.
"Look Lapis I don't mean to sound rude but you kind of crashed one of the most important and revered celebrations of the year and won't even explain to me why. I am expected right now as a princess to solve this problem in the best way possible and you aren't helping me out here."

His face glowed red with shame and his ears drooped in shame. "I'm sorry." He looked around for a moment at the crowd before staring straight down. "Ok, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to teleport us to my castle, you're going to wait there and figure out what you'll tell me, I'll teleport back and quell the situation here and then you'll tell me what happened ok?" Lapis didn't react for a moment before giving a small nod.

"...Sure. Whatever you say, Princess." As Silver stepped closer Twilight's eyes narrowed and her horn glowed purple before they were suddenly at the castle. Her voice hardened as she looked directly at Lapis. "I'll be back. Stay here and calm down." With a flash of purple light, the two were alone.

"..."
"..."
I stared at my hooves before clenching them tightly as a wave of anger overtook me.
“Lapis-“
“No! No, I don't want to hear it!! I don’t want to hear how it’ll all be better or how much worse it could be!! I don’t!” I suddenly stood, pacing back and forth, unable to stop the emotions coursing through my mind.

“Lapis, would you just listen at least?” My hoof stamped against the ground. “No!! I just, I-“
“Want to stay angry? What’s that going to accomplish? Huh?” I hesitated, glancing towards Silver, then away. “Exactly! Nothing!
“…”
“Lapis-”

"NO! I don't want to talk about it! Ahhh!" I clutched my head, feeling a flash of pain course through my body. My vision swam and I dimly heard Silver's voice. "Lapis!" After a few minutes of everything moving violently past me, I realized I was leaning against the wall and felt Silver beside me, desperately trying to bring me back. "Lapis what happened?! You look like you're about to pass out!"

After struggling for a moment, everything slowly stopped moving and though my stomach still felt upset I wasn't in any immediate danger of throwing up. “Silver… please don’t make me talk about it… I can’t.”

I turned to look at her and saw Silver hesitating. “I don’t think you have to worry about me making you talk. Twilight’s going to anyway. I’m the lesser of the two evils really.” I could barely comprehend what she was saying but managed to understand.

Silver released me and I sighed, closing my eyes and trying to calm my stomach. “Why do you care? What am I to you?”

“I’m sorry?”
I looked up. “You heard me. What am I to you? Why do you care about me so much? I mean seriously! You let me hang off the edge of a roof but you still seem to care about me and I can’t figure out why for the life of me!” Silver stared at me, confused.

“Have you had friends before Lapis?” I was caught completely off guard by her question and was extremely hesitant to answer but I felt too emotionally drained to argue with her.
“I… have…”
“Were they real friends?”
“...I don’t remember..”
Silver sighed. “You don’t trust me, do you? You just keep on lying to me and giving me vague answers and I don’t understand why. Is it a defense mechanism? Do you not want to trust me? What is it?” I let out a groan of irritation. “Why me? This kind of thing always happens to me! I'm sorry…” After letting my body go limp I felt Silver embrace me, and I froze unable to think.

“Why can’t you believe I want to care about you? I can see you're in pain and I just want to help you.” Her wings curled around me and I about broke down then and there. Tears filled my eyes and I shut them tightly. “I don’t know what has happened to you in your life but, Lapis I promise you can trust me. I won't hurt you.” I was so close to breaking, but I didn't want to, I couldn’t trust her, I couldn’t.

“N-No… you’ll hurt me… I can’t…” My hooves pressed against her chest as I tried unsuccessfully to push her away.
“Shhhhh… you don’t have to trust me completely. But can you trust me for just a moment? Ok? That’s all I ask.” She pulled me closer, her hooves clutching my shoulders. Tears dripped down my face as I finally gave in.

“Easy, easy Lapis. Everything is going to be ok.” My head sadly shook from side to side. “No... it won't...” I uttered in a pained voice. Silver’s hooves gently gripped the back of my head and pulled it against her chest. “Yes, it will Lapis. Yes, it will.” I just kept crying unable to stop even if I wanted to. “I never should've come here. I ruined everything.”

“We’ll get it sorted out Lapis, I promise. You don't have to be scared.” Every time I said something along the lines of ‘Something bad will happen’ Silver shot it down immediately, hardly letting me get more than a few words in.

You can't trust her!!
But she trusts us!
She shouldn’t!!!

I couldn’t quell the voices, I didn't have the strength.
“I never should've made that deal.”
“What? What did you just say Lapis? Tell me everything.”
“I-I made a deal with… oh buck I can’t even say her name.” I found it became increasingly harder to speak as my throat tightened. “We made a deal that I would try to stay in Ponyville for a week and if I enjoyed it I would stay. But… she left… she’s… she’s just gone…”

“Well, that explains your actions.” I saw Silver turn and we both stared at Twilight Sparkle.

4: Aftermath

I was mildly shocked to see Twilight had returned, I figured she would have been gone for a little longer.
"You're back already? Really?" She stepped closer, her covered hooves echoing loudly on the crystal floor. "You're more important right now Lapis. Others can handle the cleanup." I watched as she sat down in front of me and Silver, started removing her royal regalia, and set it aside.

Twilight sighed and for a moment I could see the tired look in her eyes, the strain on her face, no doubt from years of protecting Equestria and beyond. I'm just another line on her long list of problems...
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have ruined the celebration... I didn't mean to."
"What? Lapis it's ok-"
"No, it's not!" I suddenly stood, staring straight at Twilight. "I ruined one of the most important celebrations of the year and caused problems for the most important and well-known pony of this era!" Twilight merely looked back at me, calmly meeting my gaze.

"Lapis. You need to calm down and listen." Who is she to boss us around? She has no control over us! I shook, angered by the fact she didn't seem to take this seriously. For a moment, we challenged each other, both of us watching the other but neither willing to back down. She stood as well, spreading her wings, and suddenly looked much more threatening.

"Don't take me for a fool Lapis!" Her voice became louder and she stamped her hoof. "I'm just trying to help you! But you insist on being a victim and while that may be true you're using it to an extent you shouldn't be." Twilight's voice was loud but level, angry but calm. "I need you to listen to me. Whatever happened you need help with and don't you dare say I'm wrong because you lost control and you know it. I need to make sure you won't lose control like that again. Unicorn magic is very temperamental and easily influenced by the wielder's emotions. You had a lot of emotions running through your mind and lost control." I felt anger pump through my mind. "I know how magic works Princess! I've trained for years! I don't need a life lesson!"

Her gaze hardened and nothing happened for a moment, but then I noticed a glimmer of the responsibility she held in her eyes. A responsibility I was jeopardizing. Somehow, Twilight stood taller, her horn glowed purple and her voice now rang with a sense of authority.

"I am Princess Twilight and you will treat me with respect Luminous Lapis!"

I suddenly was terrified as I truly realized who I was yelling at, which was most likely her intention. The thing was, I had been yelled at by plenty of ponies before for varying reasons, it was something I was accustomed to, and could easily take it in my stride. This, however, was something entirely different and I was frankly overwhelmed by Twilight's domineering presence. I began shaking again, not of anger, but of fear and guilt. The past hour finally caught up to me, the realization of Trixie leaving me, the emotionally fueled blind run into town, the desperation to stay away from everypony else, and now Twilight forced to use her authority just to get me to listen. It all combined into one surge of emotions and thoughts that finally broke me.

Tears filled my eyes and I buried my face in my hooves, sobbing uncontrollably. My back fell against the cold crystal wall. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I pulled my hind legs close to my chest and wrapped my hooves around them, rocking back and forth slightly. "S-She left me... she's...gone..."

Dimly, I thought I heard Twilight's voice. I raised my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Who was it Lapis? Who left you?" Her tone was much more soothing than before and her body posture now welcoming. When I didn't answer, Silver suddenly spoke up and I realized she was still right next to me. "Twilight it-"
"No Silver. Let him answer on his own. He needs to."
Twilight's eyes had lost the hardness to them and now were filled with a gentleness I wasn't expecting.
"...It...it was......"
"Who Lapis?"
"...Trixie." My chest felt tight as I spoke her name, another wave of emotion washing over and enveloping me completely. It was too much, I couldn't handle it. My vision faded.

Manehattan, Bridleway
One hour earlier

Vinyl Scratch, or as she was more popularly known, DJ Pon-3, was enjoying herself as she stood atop her stage in Bridleway, DJing in preparation for the Summer Sun celebration. A massive crowd formed around her and she grinned leaning into her microphone. "HOW'S IT GOING MANEHATTAN?" The crowd cheered. "We've got quite the night ahead of us! Get ready because it's just beginning!!" Vinyl looked behind her for a moment and saw the massive half-building-sized screen broadcasting a live news channel from Ponyville of the Summer Sun celebration. The Bridleway was packed full of ponies, yacks, changelings, and the like on the ground and flying above as well. The air was full of excitement about the new year, thick enough that you couldn't help but feel it.

Unfortunately, the speakers on the stage were hooked up to the live news channel and the music had been simply playing over it. So when there was an explosion of noise it was amplified and caused the two noise inputs to fight against each other and send feedback through the whole system, shorting out the speakers. Vinyl had been holding one side of her headphones over her ear and heard the noise directly, causing her to fall backward throwing her headphones down in the process. "AAAHHHH!!!" Her entire head rang and she writhed on the ground, senses completely shot. After a while, Vinyl managed to pull herself up the soundboard and opened her eyes, shocked to see the rest of the crowd in a similar state.

Something warm slowly dripped down her hoof and she pulled it in front of her, barely able to recognize the fact blood was matted into her coat. "Ughhh... Sweet Celestia..." With her mind hazy Vinyl somehow realized what had happened due to her extensive experience with sound. She turned and saw the news channel was still broadcasting. Though she couldn't hear, she still could comprehend what she saw.

A dark blue stallion lay collapsed on the ground before the stage. he slowly stood, his entire body shaking before suddenly vomiting. Twilight Sparkle entered the frame, her horn glowing purple and walking with determination towards the stallion. He seemed alarmed but was too weak to run. Twilight stood before him and another pony appeared, this one a female pegasi with a purple coat and a grey mane. Vinyl couldn't tell exactly what was happening but suddenly the three teleported away.

As Vinyl collapsed against the soundboard, she and countless others were left to wonder exactly what had happened.

"Good morning Equestria. We've got some breaking news from Ponyville regarding the Summer Sun celebration." I slowly woke up, opening my eyes. "Last night during the celebration there was a scream or yell of some sort from the west and shortly after a stallion appeared, enraged at something currently unknown. A pegasi bat pony hybrid known as Silver followed him and attempted to calm him down unsuccessfully. Seeing the danger Twilight tried to restrain him and even after the three other princesses helped he broke free." After turning on my side I traced the noise that had awoken me to a TV.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" The clip showed an explosion before abruptly ending. Realization dawned on me. "With the stallion now exhausted Twilight talked to him before suddenly teleporting away with the stallion and Silver to somewhere unknown. She returned a short while later and had this to say," Another clip showed Twilight standing where she had previously been but now turned towards the crowd.

"I've got the situation under control. Everything will be fine. If you see Lapis or Silver in the next few weeks please do not ask them any questions. I will release a public announcement when I receive relevant or noteworthy information about this situation. Thank you." The video ended and showed a stallion and a mare sitting behind a desk before the mare spoke. "Well everypony, in light of our lack of information the best we can do is listen to Princess Twilight. She's investigating the situation so for the moment we need not worry. And that concludes our morning story so onto the weather. It looks pretty co-" The mare kept talking but there was no more noise. I slowly sat up before looking around and realized I was lying amidst a pile of blankets and pillows. Twilight leaned against the side of an armchair to my right, levitating the TV remote. To my other side, Starlight and Spike were also lying on the blankets and pillows, looking a little worried.

"Ummmm... What happened? Where am I?"
"You're here in my castle Lapis." She paused. "I'm sure you'll be glad to hear you will fully recover from yesterday, though I'm not sure how exactly. Unicorn horns usually can't handle that much power and emotion running through them. It seems you are a, let's say, a special case. Not that it matters much horns do eventually regrow..." Twilight trailed off and was silent for a minute before finally turning to look at me. "Lapis, are you ok?"

Closing my eyes and shaking my head slightly, I responded, "I... Yes, I think so. I'm just a little shaken is all. Last night was..." I sighed. "It was a bucking disaster. I lost control."
"Is that what it was? A loss of control? That seemed like a lot more than a loss of control, wouldn't you say? If you ask me, I would say it was some sort of breakdown."

She's trying to figure me out. Find out my reasoning.
I decided it was best not to answer.

"I can even back it up with evidence. I mean your mother abandoned you. You know, Trixie."
For a moment, rage blinded me and I lost control. But I had so little energy left that it faded quickly and I realized what Twilight had done.
"Interesting..."
"...You did that on purpose... Why? Why would you do that? ...To test me? ...You certainly wouldn't be the first." I turned to look at her.
"What did that accomplish Princess?"
She stiffened.
"I needed to know how easily you could be triggered. I now have my answer."
Is that all we are? An experiment for her t-to toy with?!
"Now tell me Lapis, what do you think will happen?"
"W-What? What kind of question is that? I don't know! You'll punish me or something how should I know?"

"Lapis please I'm not going to punish you. Well... not directly at least. Let me tell you what will happen. First off, you will be staying here in my castle where I can keep an eye on you. second, you're going to explain the situation between you and um, your mother."
"She's not my mother anymore." I growled, fighting to keep my voice level.
"Hmm, well all the more reason to talk about it. Third, you're going to explain to me why you are so powerful and knowledgeable about magic. I suspect there's more that lies beneath the surface. Fourth, and going hoof and hoof with number three, you will explain every spell you know to me or Starlight if I am unavailable. Fifth and lastly, you will make some friends."

"What?! Make some friends?? You can't just force me to become friends with some random ponies!!"
"I can and I am Lapis. Friends are important, they can help you and-"
"No no no! I don't want to hear how amazing friends are and everything that goes with it! I don't!"
"Well, I'm not giving you much choice Lapis. You will, even if it is just one, make a friend. I'm sorry but that's my final decision."

A growl built in my chest. "Yeah? Why should I have to listen to you?" Immediately the atmosphere changed from uncomfortable to tense. I heard Starlight draw in her breath sharply as Twilight momentarily closed her eyes and then opened them. "Lapis. I am doing my best to help you and I merely laid down some ground rules. I am not asking much from you." Her eyes hardened and I could feel the power behind them. "You will follow my rules. Do you understand me?"

I found myself shaking slightly before opening my mouth. "Yes, Twilight. I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that."
She nodded. "Good. Then let's get started shall we?"

5: A New Start

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