Nothing short of a Disaster

by BiniBean

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Drama, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 1522

Luna gets some bad directions from the head Librarian at Canterlot Castle and finds herself in a section of the Library called "Fanfiction."

Luna just wanted to read some fantasy books on her night off. When the head Librarian at the Canterlot Castle gives her bad directions, she stumbles into a section called "Fanfiction."

She is a Princess, with the highest authority in Equestria. So as a result, she doesn't need to pay attention to the part of the sign that says "Fanfiction: Off-Limits to unauthorized personnel." Right?

Published 2021-03-23 04:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-23 04:10:00 UTC

Rules Exist for a Reason

Princess Luna had lowered the Moon. She smiled and started her journey down one of the many corridors of Canterlot castle, deciding that it was time she finally found a good book to snuggle up with and indulge in a much-needed escape from reality.

After many twists and turns, she ended up at the Canterlot Castle Royal Library and Archive. She used her magic to swing the heavy double doors open and trotted into the large room. Filled with hundreds of shelves, filled with books until they couldn't fir anymore. In the middle of the room, there was a large hourglass with a desk circling around it, made up of different types of wood.

At one of the many spots at the desk, sat a unicorn mare. She wore small circle glasses with a red scarf around her neck. There was a lamp beside her and a few piles of books surrounding her. She didn't seem to mind the mess as she used her light blue magic to slowly turn the next page and continue reading.

Luna cleared her throat in annoyance to catch the younger mare's attention. The mare didn't even look up from her book as she used one of her front hoofs to gesture at the grand Library.

"Welcome to the Canterlot Royal Library." The mare said in a robotic-like voice as if she was reading off a script or had said it one too many times. "I am Bini Filters, the head Librarian. How can I help you today?"

"I am looking for fantasy books." Luna said. Bini's ears perked up and she looked up from her book to see the Princess of the Night. Strangely, she wasn't either standing to attention in fear or galloping over to be simply in her presence. Bini just looked at her with wide eyes, shook her head to refocus herself, then pointed to one side of the Library.

"Um, fantasy books...? They are over here. To your right. All you need to do is walk straight for three shelves, turn left after two more shelves, then a right, a left, and then one more right, Princess." Bini said. Luna nodded, she was confused but was confident that she could find it on her own. She was a Princess after all.

After a good twenty minutes of aimlessly wandering among the tall shelves of books in the Library, Luna was just about ready to give up when she paused as she read the sign to another few shelves lining the Library.

"Fanfiction: Off-Limits to unauthorized personnel."

Luna tilted her head and tried to remember when she ever heard of a genre of books called Fanfiction...She concluded it must be a new trend but failed to understand why it was off-limits. She shrugged and decided it was a mystery worth investigating.

"And then that's when I read the most horrible stories of my life! WHO WOULD WRITE ABOUT PONIES LIKE THAT! I am alive! I don't want others to see me as...As..." Luna couldn't even bring herself to say the last word, so whatever she read would remain a mystery to the others in the throne room.

Princess Celestia sat on her throne. Her sister Luna had come in moments earlier, demanding that an entire wing of the Library be burnt down because it contained stories about the ponies currently living in Equestria, made up stories of course, but every once in a while they would stick to real life and then nose bomb into chaos.

The head Librarian, Bini Filters, simply stood beside the infuriated Alicorn with an annoyed expression. She occasionally adjusted her scarf and glasses as Luna finally calmed down enough to not interrupt her sister when she finally began to speak.

"I see." Celestia said with an unbiased expression. "Bini Filters? How do you defend...That part of the Library and as a result, yourself and your ability to do your job?"

"Your highnesses, with all due respect, I put up a sign that clearly said 'Off-Limits to unauthorized personnel.' That means personnel that doesn't have permission to enter by my say so, don't enter. Even if they are Princesses! It's not like that section of the Library is hiding anything dangerous, it's just...Well...The ponies in the castle and...beyond enjoy writing about ponies that they know in real life or in legend and theorizing what their life might be like. Even putting their own interpretation of themselves in the story sometimes. I put them in the special wing of the Library so for anypony who is curious can read them." Bini said. Luna growled and stalked towards the younger pony. Who stumbled away from the Princess with a hint of fear flashing in her eyes at her sudden aggression.

"I was curious and yet you dare tell me I am the problem!" Luna yelled. Bini's anger flared back up and quickly overtook her fear. Bini snarled and stepped towards the Princess, fueled by anger.

"Listen, Princess. I gave you clear instructions on how to get to the fantasy section! Don't you dare tell me that I deserve the blame here because frankly, you suck at following instructions!"

"Clear instructions!? THEY MADE NO SENSE!" Luna barked back. Celestia sighed and was starting to get very annoyed with all the yelling taking place.

"Miss. Filters. What instructions did you give Luna exactly?" Celestia asked.

"I told Princess Luna to walk straight for three shelves, turn left after two more shelves, then a right, a left, and then one more right." Bini stated as if those were simple to follow. Celestia rolled her eyes as her guards shared a look of concern with each other.

"Miss. Filters." Celestia called out. "To be truthful...Those instructions make no sense. I helped build the Library. I know it almost as well as I know my own hoof and yet I have no idea where your instructions were supposed to take me."

"To the fantasy section!" Bini snapped, "AM I NOT MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?! WILL YELLING ALL MY ANSWERS HELP EVERYPONY HEAR ME BETTER!?"

Luna slapped Bini with her wing to shut her up. Throwing Bini off of her game.

"Sister," Luna said. Catching Celestia's attention, then Bini, who was nursing a hurt nose from Luna's wing hitting her in the face. "You don't know the horrors of what I read! One of the books mentioned that you were a...a...Sunbutt."

Bini's face went beet red with embarrassment that was soon shown on the expressions with the guards. Celestia's breathing halted and she slowly stepped down from the throne. Approaching the pair with eyes that seemed to be on fire with rage.

"Who called me...Sunbutt?" Celestia growled with rage Luna and Bini had never heard her utter before. They both gulp and slowly started to back away. For once, they were united in a single goal. Mission: Get away until she chills out.

"Filters, tell me..." Luna whimpered as Celestia followed their steps at the same slow pace. Looking down at them as if this was some sort of doomsday judgment. "Who wrote it?"

"I-I wouldn't tell you even if I knew!" Bini stammered back. "When I woke up this morning I didn't expect to die because of the Solar Princess. I had so many things to live for. We don't all get what we want!"

"If you don't tell me...I will...I will...Banish you to the moon..." Luna hissed back. Bini took a second to glare at Luna before cowering under the might of the great Princess of the sun as they were halfway through the throne room. Still slowly working backward.

"We all know that is an empty threat, Princess." Bini mumbled. "Besides. Only Princess Celestia can do that."

Before Luna could retort, Bini decided her best option was to run like the wind for the entrance.

"AND I LIKE LIVING! BYE!" Bini yelled as she used all of her body to force open the large double doors and crashed into the hallway wall. She recovered by some miracle after slamming into a wall that was made of marble and scrambled down the hall like a bolt of lightning.

Bini galloped into the "Fanfiction" section of the Library. She let out a sigh of relief as the last and only book Luna read from the Fanfiction section was laying on the middle of the floor, wide open. Under normal circumstances, she would be very angry at a book being left in such a condition but based on her circumstances and her curiosity she found that she didn't quite care.

She levitated the book and flipped it over to the cover with a bold title. Being sure to capture anyone's attention.

"The Legend of Sunbutt and Woona."

"By: Twilight Sparkle."

A yellow light engulfed the area as bright as the sun, throwing Bini off guard. She stumbled away from the heat and light and dropped the book in her panic. She watched in horror as the light died down and Princess Celestia, still very much enraged used her magic to lift the book.

Twilight Sparkle should start praying.

---THE END---