Me and the boys.

by one-big-twinkie

Rating: mature
Tags: Non-consensual, Derpy Hooves, Sex, Profanity, Sandbar, Gallus, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 4601

Having all turned 18, Gallus, Sandbar, and Spike decide to rent a mare to make themselves officially adults. But a home for the mentally disadvantaged is just another word for brothel right? Derpy just won't know what went wrong.

Having all turned 18, Gallus, Sandbar, and Spike decide to rent a mare to make themselves officially adults. But a home for the mentally disadvantaged is just another word for brothel right? Derpy just won't know what went wrong. :derpytongue2:🍆

Something of coming of age one-shot. Used spike in this because Smolder did not have a pee-pee, and writing her to have one anyway isn't really my cup of tè

I would also like to make it clear that all the characters are 18 or over — not that it matters, they are still going to hell. And so am I.

Published 2021-03-24 12:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-24 12:30:00 UTC

Me and the Boys, mashing a potato

There was a soft clink as several coins fell into the outstretched hoof belonging to the night-warden of the Ponyville assisted living facility for the mentally disabled. That sound spoke of a promise, a promise of pleasures only purchased in sin, and only sold in secret. A sound of flesh being traded for gold. The last of the coins landed face down — clearly the princess of the sun would not bare to look at the transaction that the coins which held her likeness were being used to facilitate.

“That will be 40 bits from each of you.” Said the night-warden: he did not get payed enough for this job.

“But…you said that she would only cost 25!” Said the young stallion at the head of the three strong group.

“Come on lets get out of here, we can get way better for 40 elsewhere.” Said the griffon, stereotypicaly concerned for the bits he had chipped in.

The night-warden just huffed and said “40. Take it or leave it.” He spoke flatly, sure that he could find another customer.

Just as the small group was turning to leave with their bits unspent, and their other bits dry, the final member of the group spoke up.

“Er...why the increase in price?” Said the marginally timid purple dragon.

The night-warden flashed a smile, sure of a better payday than he had expected.

“Because...” Choogled the night-warden ‘She has gone into heat!” He spoke the words as if that had cream and a little cherry on top. With that the interest of the group was immediately returned. With only a little hesitation on the part of the griffon.

“Wow! didn't think my first time would be with a mare in heat.” Said the sand colored stallion. slightly embarrassed with his sudden admission of virginity – not that any of the others didn’t know.

“Golly!! Never thought my first time would be facilitated by a fiduciary transaction.” Choogled the purple dragon, slightly embarrassed with how much of a dork he must have sounded.

“Holy guacamole!!! Never thought my first time would be with a retard.” Chirped the blue griffon, not remotely embarrassed.

“By the power of gray-skull!!!!! I never thought I would be waiting this long to get my bits.” Said the night-warden, still holding out his hoof in a most expectant manner. The group expressed a mixed emotion to the revelation that the mare was in season. On the one hoof they were excited that her estrus would make her more receptive. Even if only Sandbar had the nose to appreciate it fully. And on the other hoof they were mildly hesitant to hoof over so many more of their bits than they had expected.

Nevertheless the hoof of the night-warded soon held 40 bits from each of the 3 males. “Pleasure doing business with you.” He said, gesturing with a hoof toward a door. “The gray mare, left side of the hall, 14 doors down.” Choogled the night-warden as he trotted off to stash away his bits.

The quite halls echoed with hoofbeats, and the scratching of claw steps as the 3 young males made their way to the mare who they would finally use to make themselves into adults. They had all turned 18 within a few months of each other, and in recognition of this they decided to buy themselves a female. but they did not desire a mare who could say no, or one that anybody would care aobut if she did. Gallus – ever typical of his species had provided the money saving idea that they could get if for cheaper if they chose a mare with crayons in her brain. Besides all of them shared the opinion that it was not the mare's intelligence which would make them into full adults, it was the warm hole under her tail.

"Well her cunt ain’t disabled." Gallus had said. It had been a crass statement for certain, but it had been sufficient to convince Spike, and sandbar. And now they had paid for the ticket, and it was time to ride.

“Guy’s...are you sure about this?” Intoned Spike in a wavering fashion.

“You already payed up: it’s too late to back out now.” Said Sandbar over his shoulder. “We are doing this together remember? that’s what friendship is all about.”

“I just thought that my first time would be...You know — special.” Explained the purple dragon wistfully.

“Don’t worry Spike.” Choogled the griffon. “It doesn't get any more special than the mares in this place.” The little group laughed a bit, but did not express too much mirth, they still felt a bit ill at ease — even if their behavior had been veneered in seedy legitimacy by the exchange of currency. They felt as if any if the doors they past could hold a secret observer waiting to rat them out.

After a short while which felt like a long while, the 3 of them were standing before a door. The door was as silent, and as gray as any of the others. But nevertheless it held the promise of pleasure just beyond its wooden frame. The promise of blooming masculinity affirmed for any willing to open it.

None of the 3 wanted to be the first to move.

“So...do you think that this is her first time as well?” Proffered Sandbar by way of small talk.

“Doubt it.” Said Spike rather flatly. “A Feeble-minded mare, and her virtue are soon parted...I read that in a book somewhere.” Citation was very important to him.

“I think whoever wrote that must have thought virtue a synonym for legs.” Choogled Gallus.

They stood in silence for a little longer. Eventually Sandbar pushed a hoof to the door which was not locked, and slid gently inward. The mare was awake, pacing up and down the small room as if she had not noticed them. The smell of her estrus hit Sandbar’s noise immediately. He felt his heart race a little as the scent went straight from his snout to between his legs. Each breath of the air he inhaled sent a little more blood to his cock which twitched in its sheath.

Heat was enough to turn many mares into animals, but Derpy was closer to that level of cognition to begin with, and so she could barely seem to speak when she saw the 3 males standing in the doorway.

Each of them stepped into the room, and the dragon pulled the door shut behind him with his tail. The mare seem to barely notice them. Maybe she never noticed anything.

“So...who goes first?” Said Spike. Twiddling his claws nervously.

None of them wanted to be the first to go lest he also be the first to embarrass himself.

“Well I think Sandy looks about ready.” Said Gallus as he looked toward Sandbar. The stallion’s penis stood erect, and throbbing between his hind legs. Sandbar blushed a moment, and tried to hide his arousal as if they would not be all seeing each other in action fully soon enough.

At last Derpy noticed them.

“ARE YOU HERE TO BRING ME MEDICINE? Said the mare in a voice with more chromosomes than syllables. There was a moment of reluctance among the males as they were confronted with what their bits had bought them. Beside her eyes, which were trying to focus on both the floor, and the ceiling at the same time the Pegasus was quite attractive. With a body that was well toned, and plump in all the right places. The three males had all expected her to be as ugly as she was hooficapped.

But much to their collective surprise this was not the case. All of her virtues were the same length even.

Gallus stepped forward first.

“Yeah, we are here to bring you something to help you with your estrus.” Said the blue griffon as he moved closer. Derpy did not begin to back up until Gallus as nearly upon her. The gray mares ample rump pressed into the wall once she could retreat no further.

“GRIFFONS EAT PONIES MY MOM SAID!” said Derpy in a trembling voice.

“Well? We do.” frisked Gallus as he moved his face closer to hers. “Every little bit of them, I gobble up mares just like you, but I have to spit out the helmet.”

"My favorite part is the tongue."

With those words the griffon brought his beak closer to the mares face, slowing opening his mouth while looking into her face.

Gallus had been nervous at first, but he was getting into his stride now, his heart still beat fast, but it was no longer spurned on by performance anxiety. The blood in his veins was being heated by an altogether different source now. The griffon felt like the day he had first learn to fly when his beak met the lips of the mare. He gently pinched and pulled on the edges of her lips with the sharp point of his beak. The mare resisting the whole time.

“PLEASE DON’T EAT ME UP” pleaded Derpy, but her words fell on deaf genitalia. Gallus pushed the gray mare onto the bed, and held her down with all his weight. The mare might have produced more futile pleas, But her tongue was soon battling with another.

To Gallus the feeling of his tongue sliding around in the mares mouth like a greased eel was indescribable, spreading to every corner of his body — he could feel his plumage stand on end: she tasted like...muffins. Gallus could feel his penis begin to slide from his sheath, and expand with blood, and he did not care in the least that his friends could see him becoming aroused.

The griffon's paw slide down the gray fur of the mare’s belly, fumbled about her pelvis for a while before finding its target. Gallus could feel a sudden treble travel through mares body as he rubbed his palm over her slight mound, Although he held no illusions that this would have made her aroused if she had not been in estrus. The griffon saw Derpy’s eyes go wide as he felt two of the digits of his paw slide into the hot wetness of the mare’s cunny. He could detect further reactions from the mare as he began to to make a slight becoming motion toward the front of her vagina.

In truth Gallus was not a complete virgin. He had made females cum before – A mare and a dragoness. But he had never taken it much further than this ‘feathering’ which they seemed to enjoy. The first time he had not been much less exited than he was now: he would have taken it all the way with Smolder. But much to his private embarrassment — he had came without her ever coming into contact with his cock, and all that he had to remember of his first teenage fumble was a crusty gray stain left on the fabric of the couch in the common room. But at least he had made her cum, which was more than most males could say for their first time.

Gallus did not care if Derpy came or not – He wanted to get the gray mare close so that when one of his friends took his turn, he would hopefully have the delight of making her cum so hard her eyes would go straight. Galllus’s Paw slid from Derpy’s cunny, trailing a steak of her fluids across her inner thigh as it made is way to behind her knee. All the while the Griffon was still lost in her mouth.

“Eeer...is this going to take long Gallus?” Said Spike. The griffon opened one eye, and peered to the side, Both of his friends sported Erections waiting to meet the mare. Perhaps he was taking too long with the preamble.

“Well forgive me for trying to put some romance in the situation.” Choogled Gallus as he rolled his eyes, and broke the forced kiss – his beak briefly staying connected to the mare by a string of glistening saliva.

“You think she knows what romance is?” Said Spike. “It’s a big word, and I am not sure these mares get a good education.”

“The only thing she got on her exam paper was drool.” Snickered Sandbar.

Although Gallus wanted to savor the mare, he also did not wish to keep his friends waiting. The griffon grasped the mare’s legs behind each knee, and wrenched them apart. Derpy tried to resist, but she was not nearly as strong as the avian.

“NO, NO NO.” Protested the mare as Gallus lined up the tapered tip of his cock against her entrance. Tentatively the griffon pushed forward with his hips a few times, but his cock kept slipping to side of her cunt, or across her entrance. With the help of his guiding claw keeping his tip pressed firmly against the mares cunny — Gallus pushed forward again.

The sensation was far more to Gallus than just that of his cock sliding into a damp hole. As his penis pushed into the mare’s tight, hot, dripping cunt the griffon felt pleasure filled his body so completely that it pushed his virgin out through his ears. It was amazing.

The griffon’s beak hung open and slack as his balls pressed against Derpy’s entrance, and he could not push further inside. Instinctively he began to buck his hips. Derpy was enjoying it significantly less, and it seemed her eyes were becoming as wet as her cunt. Gallus tried to start out slow, and build up, but the pleasure was too much – he soon lapsed into rhythmless dog-like humping. But he was to lost in pleasure to care. The room was filled with the sound of the mares cries, barely covered by the griffons own suppressed cries of pleasure, and the wet slapping sound of his penis pumping into her pussy. Despite her protests Gallus could see that the gray mare was close to orgasm. Her could feel her equine cunt spasm against his cock with increasing frequency, and her cries seem to be occasionally interrupted by a gasp of pleasure. For a mare who was so slow mentally she was fast to bring to climax.

But Gallus knew he would be quicker – his breath was ragged, and heavy: he could feel a pressure in his balls begin to work its way up his shaft. The griffon's claws gripped hard onto Derpy’s thighs, bringing forth pinpricks of blood and causing her to whimper in pain as he groaned in pleasure.

Just thirty odd foot of grunts later the griffon tightened his beak in ecstasy as he began to orgasm. He buried himself deep in the mare’s cunt, and let out a loud squawk as waves of intense pleasure crashed throughout his body. His tail thrashed, and his wings beat the empty air as he ejected ropes of bird-seed against derpy’s cervix as if she had been a fertile hen. For perhaps a minute Gallus did not move. He simply stayed still as he regained his breath, and waited for the world to come back in focus.

“You done?” Choogled a voice from behind Gallus, but he could not have determined which of his friends it belonged to at the moment. Eventually the griffon let Derpy’s legs fall to the side, and he pulled out. His cock slid free from the mare’s cunt, dragging a string of avian semen out with it. Gallus was no less hard then when he had entered her, but that was not unusual – Griffons often stayed erect for a fair while after ejaculation.

The avian dismounted the bed onto his weakened knees, and nodded toward his friends to indicate that it was their turn.

Sandbar trotted forward.

Sandbar tentatively approached the mare, who was now curled up in the fetal position. Despite the time he had spent in the small room getting acclimatized to the scent of her estrus: he was now more aroused then when he had entered the room. He had watched the griffon have his way with the mare, and watching Gallus’s toned body work as he fucked the mare had almost aroused him as much as Derpy’s own reaction to getting bred. He hoped that everybody had been too busy to see him staring at the griffons cock.

He decided that since he was second to take the mare, he need not mess around with much foreplay. The mare let out a yelp of protest as the scruffy maned stallion grasped her. Sandbar was only marginally concerned with the mare’s resistance as he tossed her over the metal bed end like she was a sack of potatoes, and clambered onto the bed behind her. His cock jutted out in front of him like a tree branch without the leaves. For the moment he just sat there – his hooves pressed to her cutie marks, he felt that he must have looked a like a real virgin.

“Why the hold up Sandy? Just mash the potato already.” Choogled Gallus. For thirty odd foot of grunts Sandbar scrambled in his mind for an excuse. Looking around the room to see if an answer had been smeared in the walls in...whatever substance the residence of this place favored for smearing on the walls. He also blushed slightly more than usual at the name ‘Sandy’ as if its typically feminine connotations were an allusion to his inexperience.

“But–But—what if she gets pregnant?” Stuttered Sandbar.

“Pffffttt!” dismissed Spike. “Everypony knows that when a defective mare gets knocked up they turn her into compost. At least that’s what Thorax said.”

Sandbar was still unconvinced.

“Yeah.” Choogled Gallus. “I was not afraid of making a hippogriff. So go ahead and fertilize the...eerrr, fertlizer.”

Sandbar gazed at the mare’s cunt. It did look like something he would enjoy putting his cock in. From its gray lips engorged with arousal, to the slightly protruding clit. A thin string of griffon semen still hung from her entrance, and swung about as she struggled. Sandbar’s heart began to race as he positioned the tip of his cock against her vulva. The stallion gasped as his tip made contact with the outside of her vagina – He could feel the warmth of her cunt against the unflared tip of his penis, and as she squirmed he almost felt he could feel her heartbeat through his penis. But perhaps that was his own whimsically fluttering circulatory organ.

Ever so slowly – Sandbar pushed his hips forward. His penis slid easily, inch by inch into the mare’s quivering folds. If this had been a time for talking Sandbar would not have been able to find the words for the pleasure this simple tunnel of flesh gave him, but he could have been sure that his face betrayed all the emotions that his penis was sending to his brain. The mare was so warm and tight that the sensation of sliding his cock into her pussy felt as good as any orgasm which he had achieved with his hoof.

Sandbar began to thrust, unevenly at first, but then developed into a more rapid pace somewhere between wild rutting, and gentle romance. Each time he plunged in and out of Derpy there was a wet squishing noise as his length slid into her tight depths – punctuated by the slap of his hips making contact with her ass.

The mare was making little moaning noises between her cries as Sandbar began to increase his pace. He was amazing that he had not come yet.

“Hey Derpy.” Said Gallus. “Look what I have got!”

Sandbar turn his face up to see Gallus sitting on his hunches, A muffin in his claw. He was still fully erect, and his cock was glistening with the mare’s fluids, and a single dreg of errant bird-seed still dangled from his tip. Derpy’s eyes focused on the confection in his claw, and grew wide. As if suddenly forgetting her situation.

“This note says your mother sent you these.” Commented Gallus causally. As he moved the muffin toward his opening beak.

“NOOOOOO! NOT MY MUFFIN!” Shouted the mare. She tried to break free, but Sandbar held her tight by her hips, and all her struggles did was entice the stallion behind her to rut her harder.

Gallus was not bluffin’ with her muffin. Very slowly he sank the hooked tip of his beak in his soft baked flesh of his prey.

“STOP! STOP! STOP!” The gray mare shouted, a few times before degrading into blubbing, heaving sobs. As if she had been a mare in ancient times – being made to watch as a griffon devoured her foal before he filled her womb with his own. But Gallus was modern bird, and just before his beak cut into the flesh of her muffin he relented.

“I don’t like choc-chips anyway.” Said Gallus as he dropped the muffin to the carpet with a soft thud. Derpy’s tears stopped almost immediately. Clearly the emotions of the slow were quick to alter. The hamster runs left — the hamster runs right.

Sandbar was slightly disappointed that the mare now struggled less, but he could feel that his was not going to last much longer anyway. He had always thought that when he first put his cock into a mare in heat that he would last less time than a box of crayons in a room filled with hungry special-ed foals, but he had endured longer than he ever had expected.

Derpy groaned, and occasionally let out a small whimper as Sandbar used her from behind. The stallion pressed his snout to her neck, and inhaled the scent of her estrus. Sandbar’s teeth clamped onto the tip of the mare’s ear — and all the while his thrusts were becoming faster and more uneven.

The hamster fell off of the wheel.

Derpy’s orgasm hit her quickly. She thrashed, and writhed rhythmically with the contractions of her climax.
She let out a loud “DUUUUUUUUU...UR...UR” as her genitals told her brain that she was having a good time getting bred. Those two organs probably had a similar capacity for intellect.

“Damn, she sounds just like a tuba!” Said Spike. The tall purple dragon looked about to see if anybody got the joke. “tuba...tuber...I am saying she is a potato.”

Sandbar was greatly affirmed, and delighted that he had made a mare cum on his first time. And he thought it auspicious this Derpy did not have the mental capacity to fake it. But the scruffy maned stallion did not have long to ponder. The muscles inside the mare’s hot, tight, wet snatch rippled up and down the length of his cock as the contractions of her orgasm washed thought her body; the sensation was enough to push him over the sex precipice

“You like that don’t you, you fucking retard?” Sandbar managed to choogle softly into the mare’s ear, just before he felt his climax upon him.

Sandbar’s rapidly rising pleasure gave way to his own orgasm. White lights flashed before his eyes as waves of pleasure shot up his spine. His penis twitched and flared and ropes of hot sperm shot into the mare’s cunny. Sandbar could feel his penis throb against the mare’s walls as his cock continued to pulsate in pleasure even once his balls were totally emptied.

After he little while, Sandbar pulled his cock free of the mare’s pussy, his flared head dragging a mixture of equine and griffin semen out with it. His length was shiny with the mares fluids, and a final rope of cum still swung from the tip of his cock as it began to go limp.

“your turn Spike...I guess.” Said sandbar as he sat at down at the side of the room to get his bearings back. Exhausted and fresh at the same time, there should have been a word for that...

Spike looked at the mare. She just hung over the bedhead in the same position that Sandbar had left her in. he did not want to show hesitation when both his friends had been so direct with the mare. The dragon stood up, and approached Derpy as if he was walking into a fight. He had already became erect while watching the other two go to town on the mare – his cock stuck out from his genital slit, and it guided his way onto the bed.

Spike positioned himself behind the mare as Sandbar had. He took his organ into one claw, and positioned it against the entrance to her pussy. He slid in with ease. The warmth and tightness was astonishing to him, and he immediately began to hump like an a savage animal. His claws gripped the mare’s hips, and soon clenched hard enough to draw blood. It was all too much for spike, in just a matter of seconds he was done.

“RARITY!” Shouted the dragon as he added yet another species of cum to the bedroom soup already filling the mares cunt. Spike could scarcely contain himself, and kept thrusting with abandon even during his orgasm – His cock slipped free of the mare’s pussy after just a spurt or two inside her vagina. The next random jab pushed his cock across her flank. Several ropes of liquid hatch-lings dripped down Derpy’s flank, adding quite a for more bubbles to her cutie mark.

Spike’s orgasm subsided, and he was left feeling completely freshuasted, he could hear Sandbar and Gallus snickering in the corner. Spike twiddled his claws in mild embarrassment as he search for some excuse to justify his lack of stamina.

“Don’t worry Spikey-Wikey.” Choogled Gallus in his best Rarity impression. “I am sure you make yourself orgasm while saying my name all the time darling.”

Spikes scales began to turn pink as Derpy’s innermost lips. It really was an uncanny impression.

“For real though,” Said Sandbar “fucking this mare is not a huge step up from masturbation.”

“lets get out of here,” said the dragon as he hopped down from the bed. And they did, the three of them left the room, and left the mare in the same less than dignified position in which the last of them had fucked her. She do not move, she just stared at muffin on the floor as if hypnotized.

The three of them walked down the hall with slightly more banter in their canter than the first time. They felt like they had passed some great milestone in life – some rite of passage. Sandbar was no longer a colt. Gallus was no longer a chick. Spike was no longer a hatchling. And Derpy was still a burden on society. And all so soon after they had all turned 18.

“Eeeeer...did we just rape that mare?” Twiddled Spike nervously.

There was silence for a moment.

“Nah, we paid for it” Said Gallus.

“Yeah — that makes it alright...” said Sandbar uncertainly.

Maybe what they had done was wrong, perhaps it was not, maybe it fell into the dirty crevice between right, and wrong — Down in the gray morality gap with the dirt even your toothbrush was not narrow enough to reach, laying there with the fumbled safety pins, and the blown pencil shavings. But in the end...

Didn't matter, got laid.

Author's Note

I may or may not continue this. depends on which way the wind blows.

Critique encouraged.