Stellar Cuddleslut Suđ
±reme: Electric Boogaloo ft. Air Bud on Lead Guitar
Author's Note
This was something I had remembered that I started writing back in 2017. I put it down for some reason... and then I thought I lost it so I forgot about it. I'm scouring an old google drive and lo and fuckin' behold a trove of shit that I thought I had lost was now available to me the night before this was published! I had actually gotten like, 3300 words already done when I found it... and best of all, it was actually well-written enough that I just needed to add an ending, touch it up, and it was ready! Fuckin' hell man. Past Flamm occasionally leaves some gifts for present Flamm.
At any rate, here's a Stella crack cuddle fic that should've been released almost four years ago. Hope you enjoy!
Stellar Cuddleslut Suđ
±reme: Electric Boogaloo ft. Air Bud on Lead Guitar
Ultimately it was still a mystery exactly how you ended up in talking-smol-horsie-land in the first place. After all, one moment you were perfectly occupied with your own nefarious happenings⊠and suddenly, just nothing.
And then just as suddenly, something again, though this time with more wide-eyes and multiple exotic colors of fur.
Though really, that last part didnât matter. You werenât racist after all.
You had ended up sat for hours on-end in a special foreign dignitaryâs room gifted to you by Princess âSun Horseâ Celestia and Princess âMoon Buttâ Luna in a generic thinkerâs pose⊠and you attempted to piece together for yourself exactly how this could have happened and how you could have possibly reversed the chain of events to return you home.
On one hand, you were simply multitasking watching the football game that Sunday, as well as keeping a keen eye on the ârobustâ anime boobies on your computer screenâŠ
âŠand on the other hand, was lotion.
Allegedly, some combination of those key ingredients on top of some magical malarkey sent you careening through a colorful wormhole of justice and deposited you here in Equestria. Since there were no anime tiddies to be found, nor football games to be had, you were stuck with the only ingredients of âmagical malarkeyâ and the ability to wax your own porpoise at will.
Though to be fair, the ponies would probably not take kindly to the latter.
Unicorns couldnât explain it to you, science textbooks shed no light on the subject, and heck, even the Princesses couldnât explain it!
Well, actually the latter bit was a little bit of a lie youâve co-opted for conversations with pretty mares. They actually did explain it to you but your eyes glazed over and you tuned out the moment they went into anything mathematical.
Math could die in a fire for all you cared.
So, in the meantime, you were stuck here⊠and as you soon found out when a nice castle staff pony off shift tried to comfort you, you had a certain abundance of a âparticular skill.â It was a commodity worth more than its weight in bits, gold, titties, and friendship combined.
Your female friends back home had gifted you with the knowledge and experience on how to properly âcuddle and snuggle.â
You thought it was just common knowledge when you first curled up with that first tan-coated, golden-maned mare named Chrysanthemum. Turns out, it was a highly-sought after skill in a potential romantic suitor in Equestria⊠and you were willing to do it.
Without the commitment!
Well, like back on Earth, news tended to spread like a cloud of pollen from a sea of ejaculating poppy plants In Flanders Fieldsâą during a windy day in the spring. Because before you knew it, you literally had a line of mares waiting for a therapeutic session of cuddling to get their minds off what few (or many) troubles they had swimming in those technicolor heads of theirs.
To take stock of what you now possessed, you had an army of attractive mares awaiting your platonic, physical embrace at any time⊠of which you could convert any of them to a physical and/or romantic relationship at will if you tried hard enough. You also earned the envy and the respect of all the stallions (and some mares) in the Guard, which made for excellent stories and bonding experiences with your new friends in the Castle tavern.
And you gladly regaled these tales each time a ânew guyâ would ask you about your gift during your group-drinking fests during the evenings.
âThereâs no goddamn way!â the white-coated, new recruit assured in his more-than tipsy disposition.
This earned him a couple of playful jeers from the more seasoned veterans of the bunch, but your confidence from first-hand experience made sure you were ready to tell the latest tale in excruciating detail.
âItâs completely true!â you said, taking another swig of your drink of choice for the evening.
The banter escalated playfully back and forth in an effort to convince the overconfident newbie that your questionable, unorthodox skills with mares were off the charts. You were about ready to prove it to him in person with the shy cutie sitting in the corner of the tavernâanother guardsmare having recently gotten off shift.
You were not one to go out betting, but you would gladly proposition this mare like the dirty whore you were to cuddle over and over again for the entire night. And you knew for a fact that you would have success beyond your colleaguesâ wildest imaginations.
Had you been able to foresee the future through the chorus of drunken laughter from your friends around the booze-covered table, you wouldâve been one-hundred percent correctâŠ
âŠin a sense.
The tavern door suddenly swung open, its hinge barely sustaining any measure of structural integrity as it slammed into the wall. The doorstop was obliterated with a mighty crash.
If there was to be any sort of record scratch in the soundtrack of life, this is right where it wouldâve taken place.
In place of the once closed door, the cool night air from the open-ventilated castle whooshed in in a dramatic, mighty gale-force that heralded the entrance of a particular member of the Lunar Guard.
She stepped in, completely armored up save for her helmet which allowed all to focus attention on her⊠and focus your attention you did.
Her ponytail mane was navy-blue, much like Lunaâs night sky tonight, and it glinted in the odd candlelight of the dimly-lit establishment, much like her golden pools for eyes. She being a batpony was immediately obvious by the cute little tufts of fluff atop her sharp ears, and in conjunction with a snaggle-fanged scowl on the lower half of her muzzle, she presented herself as a mare on a mission.
She was looking for somepony.
And the moment those predatorial thestral eyes made contact with yours, you had never felt more like you wanted to shit your pants full of your own spinal column in your entire life.
Through a bar that was now as silent as a cemetery at midnight, she jutted her hoof straight towards you⊠straight towards your stunned face from afar.
âYOU!â she exclaimed through bared teeth.
Her voiceâas smooth as the finest Equestrian wine with a tinge of a raspâsounded so Scottish that you felt the need to almost apologize for your ten-percent English roots.
Your mouth had run dry despite it being previously filled with anâhonestlyâterrible liquor that you couldnât remember. Probably vodka. Definitely vodka. Your jaw tried in any manner to form some words, but you only managed a pathetic stammer and a requisite gesture to your own person.
âM-Me?â
There were a few musings of whispers from your friends on both sides, and you could only distinctly hear the word âStellaâ being dropped.
The mare in question began marching forward in earnest with heavy, boot-clad steps. Your table cleared outward immediately like a pack of uncovered plague rats, and left you to your own, potentially bloody demise at the hands of this Lunar Guardsmare.
She beamed as she got closer, but the pep in her step never waned.
âYer goddamn right, mate! Iâve been goinâ fuckinâ nutter lookinâ fer yer sweet, juicy arse, only tae find ye beinâ some slack cunt with these mingewaffles instead of knockinâ about somethinâ useful with yer life!â she voiced.
You could detect the sarcasm and jest in her harsh words, as well as the smug, beautiful smile she sported in kind. But, being completely honest with yourself, you were not exactly sure... what she said. Likewise, you did not have the balls to politely ask for clarification.
You had recoiled fully back as Stella invaded your personal space, sizing you up from foot to forehead. She seemed happy enough with the results, however, and placed her hoof forward in the only bit of formality she would ever show you.
âStella Sabre, mate. Very lovely tae meet you, lad, but now that weâre done with all the fuckinâ frou-frou pleasantriesâŠâ she began anew, shooting a brief stink-eye to anypony who would dare even conceive of intervening.
ââŠIâm callinâ in yer services.â
Your emotions ran wild, but you still had enough sense to grasp her outstretched, armored hoof with your hand and shake on it. You introduced yourself in full but beyond that, your mind was of little help and abandoned you to your fate as well.
âEhhm⊠and nice to meet you too. W-Whatâre youâŠâ
Stella showed exactly zero interest in your response, as she immediately retracted her hoof and nipped at your shirt, promptly tugging you out of your chair.
âAhâve herd th tlk!â came her muffled words as she continued to drag you towards the door like a spunky dog playing tug-o-war.
You werenât even resisting⊠you were afraid to.
âAhâve hd a luuung fkkinâ week n weâre gânna snâggle, ya cont!â
Despite a lack of understanding on both fronts of her speech and her being muffled, you were able to at least register the one key word in her vernacular that made sense.
âOh⊠you wanna snuggle?â you questioned the obvious, shooting your own smug look back at the newbie solar guard who dared question your gift.
Stella finally let go of your shirt (which now had two distinct holes near the damp hem) at the sign that you were willing to cooperate fully. She beamed her pearly whites, and her eyes glinted with a profound eagerness that her swishing tale helped to back up.
âAye!â she exclaimed.
âWeâre goinâ back tae me barracks, and Iâm gonna cuddle the shit outta yousâ âtil ye canât stand the sight of another mare!â
The ferocity in her words scared youâthis was true. But at the same time, getting ordered around by a foul-mouthed, thestral Merida from Brave was hilarious⊠and strangely arousing.
Even more so, you cherished your gift. Stella would not break you in this regard. You would see to it⊠it would be she being the one who would melt in your embrace and beg for more!
An unspoken challenge had been created.
The battle lines had been drawn.
There would be no surrender.
There would be no retreat.
âWeâll see about that, StellaâŠâ you offered, then gestured out the door of the tavern.
âLead the way!â
The mare held her head high and brushed the back side of your right leg with her perfectly coiffed tail on her way out. And of course you had to project one last smug anime face on your way out while your friends reeled from what just transpired.
The Lunar Guard barracks were nothing special. You could really only make out the darker-stone walls of the main arteries and the ebony-wooden doors before Stella kicked open one seemingly at random.
You were then promptly shoved inside with two hooves against the small of your back.
Stella then somewhat playfully ordered:
âInside, cunt!â
And her hooves were supplanted with her forehead as she constantly urged you towards her bed.
You still werenât quite used to her speech. You probably would never get used to her speech to reasonably determine what was sarcasm and what was a credible threat to tear your genitals off.
While you genuinely enjoyed your side-job and needed little convincing to snuggle with an attractive mare, Stellaâs abrasiveness was a little harsh on your lower back. You probably had the coveted back-dimples by how much her steel-clad hooves dug into it.
From what you had gathered from what little you could from inside her room, the darker âmoon stoneâ build carried over into the individual bunks. You barely caught a hint of the outline of her double bed by virtue of the little light that was afforded through a small window towards the ceiling. That was when a pair of hooves bucked you forward.
You tumbled onto the oddly soft, comfortable goodness of Stellaâs bed, and the extra-fuzzy, velvety comforter. Your entire body, especially your face was enveloped by a softness that you had not experienced since that one freshly-washed mare about three weeks ago had just finished grooming herself for a night out on the town later. Due to the size of the average pony in Equestria, as well as your rather slightly-above-average height as a human male, about half your shin down to your toes still hung off the bed and were free to dangle at will.
And now that you had a moment to think about it, you had a lot of experience thus far⊠like, a disturbing amount.
You turned over at the sound of metallic clanging against the floor, and Stella was eagerly shaking off her armor piece by piece⊠like an animal would eject water from their coat. Each individual, undoubtedly expensive piece of forged defensive equipment was discarded haphazardly onto her floor (on top of an already present bunch of empty, shimmering bottles of liquor) in a sea of metal and glass.
Still, her eagerness and lack of coordination as a feared member of the Lunar Guard was an amusing irony⊠especially as Stella attempted to fumble out of her peytral.
âHeh, need some help over there?â you ventured to ask.
The response was as quintessential as you could have hoped given the fifteen minutes you knew the batpony mare.
âNae. Fuck yerself anâ make room!â she exclaimed, finally ridding herself of her last piece of armor.
With that, Stella launched herself into the air and beat her wings twice, which suspended her for the briefest of moments over the bed like Wile-E Coyote over a cliff. She then plopped down and sent both of you bouncing on her mattress for a second.
Going by reflex at this point, you turned to Stella to ask:
âAlright, so how dâya wanna do thiââ
Your question was answered when the mare in question slammed herself against you, adjusting herself so she lay flush atop your torso, and wrapped her hooves as much as she possibly could around you. The extra weight so suddenly thrust upon you was enough where it took more effort to breathe⊠but it was every bit worth it when you saw the face of a relieved, unwinding batpony mare fluttering her eyes closed.
Stella exhaled comfortably, and allowed herself to melt into your body⊠though the suddenness of her movements (most mares were quite shy at the start of things) ensured that you didnât react appropriately right off the bat.
âOi!â Stella did well to rouse you from your stupor, then tapped your side with her hoof impatiently.
âGo on then! Snuggle me, knobhead!â
No further invitation was needed. You relaxed into the oddly comfortable bed and wrapped both your arms around Stellaâs midsection, further pulling her into you. That extra closeness did well to mesh her body heat with yours, and allowed you to siphon hers to get a bit warmer.
Stella further relaxed into you, evident by another elongated sigh. Her eyes remained dutifully closed, and her breathing slowed to a crawl as she let your embrace melt away whatever was bogging down her mind. Admittedly, seeing the normally abrasive mare in such a relaxed, cute state with that gentlest hint of a smirk on her muzzle was a sight that could cure diseases.
You could positively squeeze her cheeks at this moment with a squee.
But that would also entail you likely getting a hoof up your virgin sphincter, and an action of that nature went beyond the scope of your services.
Your body heats had sufficiently equalized between the two of you, and Stellaâs tail ceased twitching in eagerness, opting to lay limp around your knee area. You didnât mind, so long as it did not tickle you, though that could be easily rectified if it ever came to that.
And like all times of relishing silently in one anotherâs presence in such a platonic, yet somewhat intimate embrace, you faced the universal issue: your hands were bored, and the inside of your arms were beginning to dampen from your natural, resting perspiration.
You removed your arms from around Stella and placed both of your hands on either side of her spine. Pressing the tips of your fingers firmly into her coat and skin, you could feel the taut back muscles that she was endowed with by virtue of her rigorous guard training. The silence was barely interrupted by you dragging all ten of your fingertips straight up her back, all the way to her neck.
Her shudder brought a victorious smile to your face.
âWell awriiiiite~... Fuuuuck me,â she voiced, still having not opened her eyes.
You chuckled breathily.
âEnjoying yourself?â you ventured to ask.
âAye~⊠do that again, mate,â Stella answered.
More than happy to acknowledge her request, you flattened your hands against the sides of her neck and gently applied pressure with the heel of your palm. You then slid said palms back down to her sides where you started, and repeated the same ministrations that caused her to shudder in the first place. Seeing her react in that way, like many of your âclients,â it filled you with another serving of the âwarm and fuzzies.â
Stella sighed out blissfully once more, her tongue having lolled out of her mouth.
âThaaat's the stuffâŠâ
From there, you again wrapped your left arm around Stellaâs back, holding her nice and tightly against you. You had already adjusted to the weight by now, so you were able to completely focus on keeping both of you warm and comfy.
With your right hand now free, you pressed all five of your finger tips onto the back of her neck and slowly, dragged them towards the center of your palm, âsqueezingâ an non-existent stress ball and creating lines in her coat all the while.
Her gentle hummingâwhich devolved into outright purringâtold you everything you needed to know.
You, yourself, decided to rest your eyes, especially when Stella nuzzled herself into your neck and didnât allow you to look down. The ceiling, likewise, wasnât particularly interesting to look atâŠ
...at least at first glance. You narrowed your eyes when you saw what appeared to be a poster plastered on said ceiling. You blinked hard when you came face-to-face... to-face with a poster that was taped to said ceiling, which displayed a conventionally attractive mare and stallion flaunting their goods.
There were even more questions than answers when you saw there was a curious stain on the poster.
Stella kicked one of her legs back against your shin, bringing you back to reality to resume her treatment.
Admittedly, feeling her rhythmic, warm breath on your neck was pretty nice. It was the little things that you always appreciated in these snuggle sessions. As well as casually learning more about your clientele.
âSo, whatâs got you all tense?â you asked, circularly massaging your thumb and middle finger into the sides of her neck.
âMmm⊠recruits beinâ recruits. New responsibilities. Command beinâ a bellend short of a dildo. Usual shite,â she mumbled out her answer.
You proceeded to settle on petting her neck gently, then ran your palm up to her face and cupped her cheek in your embrace. To touch it all off, you brushed her with your thumb a couple of times, then moved to another target in the process.
âYeah? All in a dayâs work, eh?â you asked as you took tender hold of Stellaâs left ear.
You pressed your thumb just a little bit into her outer ear, but massaged the sensitive flap of flesh between your fingers in circular motions. You ran your handâs course up to the cute little tuft she had on her ear-tips, which was a staple of the thestrals.
Stella seemed to impossibly melt even further into your hold like some muscle-y ice cream on a hot beach dayâyou could feel her breathing become a little shakier against your neck.
âMmmâŠâ
That was her answer, followed up when she softly placed her hoof against your mouth when she felt you about to reply.
âMate, I say this with all the love and respect in the worldâquit runninâ yer fuckinâ dickholster. Just⊠do what yer doinâ and let me enjoy thisâŠplease.â
With that decree, you figured this was how the rest of your night was to go: silence⊠and cuddling up with a pretty batpony, exchanging heat until you both likely fell asleep. However, the position was getting a little stale for you⊠even if you were thoroughly enjoying the reaction from kneading both of her ears.
âHere, quick change,â you whispered, and with only a little bit of effort, moved to slide her off of you so she could rest by your side.
She silently complied, and instead rested the side of her head against your chest. Stella was now in the perfect position for you to simply wrap your right arm around, and hold her nice and snuggly against you.
She accepted the literal open-arm invitation without haste, and she did well to curl her body up into a little Scottish ball of hate while she rested silently. She also lay her right hoof and leg over you for extra grip to complete the true definition of âsnuggle.â
Closing your own eyes, you traced single lines through her coat, up and down her side, occasionally scissoring your fingers as you wove them into her coat and over her skin, proper. You felt your lips tug upward in a satisfied, shit-eating smirk when you felt Stellaâs own, dopey smile against your chest.
You couldnât tell how long this had gone on by this point. The ambient, nocturnal sounds from outside the barracks seemed to loop on themselves like natural white noise. Stellaâs breathing was consistent and deepâthat much you could feel by this point, and it was more than likely she had properly fallen asleep.
Or so it seemed. You were more than prepared to stay your welcome and take a nice nap with a cute batpony mare in your grasp for as long as sheâd allow you. And to prepare for that, you simply smiled as you ran your hand down to her side, which was a very neutral place for it to rest.
You felt Stellaâs hoof grasp your hand and move it right back to her neck⊠and hold you right there. Again, you could feel her smiling softly against you. This elicited a similar reaction from you. Content to just rest like this until she booted you out⊠whenever that was, you resolved to just massage her exposed ear for the duration.
More purrs. God batponies were just absolute cinnamon rolls⊠even if they were filled with alcohol and rage.
After an undetermined amount of time, Stella pulled back from you, sat on her haunches and yawned, which stirred you from your light slumber. In the moonlight you witnessed her fixing up her bedmane and willing her ponytail back into place.
Stella patted the bed twice.
âRight then. Iâm keepinâ ya.â
Well, that woke you up. You cocked an eyebrow, wholly unsure of how to take that.
âUmmmâŠ?â
She faced you with little emotion in her face that let you know that she was in any way joking with you. And that stale look terrified you like an early human seeing an elongated face.
She eventually gave up a cocky smirk, along with her golden eyes lighting up in the moonlight.
âOh aye! After that? You can go climb on the fuckinâ short chariot if ye think Iâm lettinâ ya go. Honk honk yer fuckinâ rideâs here, ya fuckinâ daft clown cunt!â she giggledâŠ
...and rolled on top of you with a much more sultry gaze.
A few of your âsessionsâ had occasionally spiralled into something hotter and more sexual in nature. This was the first time you could recall where you were wide-eyed with unknowing⊠and that unknowing unnerved you a little bit.
At least, until staring into those eyes a little more filled you with a more familiar sense of want. Still, you werenât gonna get tied down without a fight!
Your words laced with faux-incredulity rolled off your tongue:
âUmmm⊠yeah⊠so what youâre saying is, youâre claiming me?â
She nodded with a wider smile.
âAye! Maybe you can have the longer chariot after all!â
You pursed your lips.
âRight⊠and how do you intend on âstaking your claim?ââ you dared ask.
Stella thought for a moment, clicked her tongue, and then shrugged.
âI could suck yer cock?â
Well, shit. That was easy.
âSOLD!â
