All's Fair in Love and War
Chapter 11: A Rollercoaster of a Day
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Anon walked down the hallway leading to the dining room with a small bounce in his step. As he passed through corridor after corridor of the massive castle, he saw many maids and guardsmares all taking care of their tasks or standing guard at their respective posts. He gave a small nod of acknowledgement as he passed by, to which a quick salute was returned.
Quick enough, Anon arrived at his destination. He looked down at the guards standing post outside the dining room and gave a small wave.
"How's it going, V?" Anon inquired as he eyed the lieutenant.
With a quick salute, she replied, "It's going, sir, and I thought I told you my name is Lieutenant Valorant."
"Yeah, but V is faster. Besides, I already told you to stop calling me sir and just call me Anon." Anon replied, shrugging.
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't believe that would be appropriate." Lieutenant Valorant replied.
Anon sighed, "Jesus, what's with you guards. First Jav, and now you? You guys ever lighten up when you're on duty?" He asked, exasperated.
Lieutenant Valorant pursed her lips, "It's like I said, sir. It simply wouldn't be appropriate while I'm on duty. Although, if I can change the subject, you're looking much happier today than the past couple of days. That's good to see." She offered.
Anon smiled, "I am, thanks. Today's... an exciting day. Speaking of, I need to get in there. I'll see you later."
"Go right ahead, sir." Lieutenant Valorant replied, opening the door for him with her magic.
"Thanks." Anon called behind him as he walked inside.
As Anon walked into the dining room, his eyes fell on the two alicorns sitting in their increasingly familiar chairs at opposite sides of the table. They both turned their heads and gave friendly greetings to the human as he approached them.
"Good morning, Anon." Celestia said.
"Have a good evening?" A more tired looking Luna greeted.
"I did, thank you. Good morning to you both." Anon replied as he took his seat.
A butler quickly approached Anon with a notepad and pen held in his magical grasp, "What would you like for breakfast, sir?"
"Can I get some scrambled eggs? Maybe some pancakes?" Anon replied, scratching his chin thoughtfully.
"Certainly, sir."
With that, the butler disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Anon and the princesses alone once more. It only took a moment for conversation to find them.
"I must say, Anon. You're looking much better today than earlier this week. I'm very glad to see that." Celestia started, a friendly smile on her face.
"Indeed. You seem much more chipper than we're used to seeing you." Luna added as Celestia drank her orange juice.
"Oh yeah, I'm excited. Talked with Raven the other day and got today all cleared up so I can go meet Sunshine at the park." Anon replied.
Celestia immediately spit her drink out and delved into a coughing fit, drawing concerned looks from both Anon and Luna.
"Uh, are you alright, Celestia?" Anon asked, his brow creasing in worry.
"Oh, I'm-*cough* doing just-*cough* fine! *cough*" Celestia managed to reply as she struggled to get air back into her lungs.
"Wrong pipe, sister?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
"Y-yep." Celestia weakly croaked out before taking a sip of water.
"Right, well, uh... anyways... I'm really excited to see Sunshine again. It's been almost a week, but I've been really wanting to see her." Anon explained, his expression molding into a more excited one again.
"Well that's wonderful news. Certainly she'll be more than ecstatic to see you. She certainly spoke highly of you when we saw her earlier." Luna replied, her gaze slowly drifting to Celestia as the older alicorn stared back at her with wide eyes.
"Thanks, Luna. I'm really excited. I've been looking forward to seeing her all week." Anon beamed.
A look of dread fell over Celestia's face as the butler brought out their breakfast. He quickly deposited the food at each of their respective plates, before bowing and exiting the room. While Anon and Luna dug into their food, Celestia stared ahead with a blank look on her face. After a few minutes, Luna looked up and tilted her head to the side.
"Are you feeling alight, sister? You haven't even touched your food." Luna pointed out, drawing Anon's attention to Celestia's plate as well.
Seeing that she was now being observed by both parties, Celestia quickly used her magic and stabbed her fork into her salad so hard that it broke through the plate and embedded itself in the table.
"Oh." Celestia muttered as Anon and Luna shared a look.
"Uh, Celestia... are you sure you're okay? You're acting really weird right now." Anon spoke up, giving the solar alicorn a wary look.
Celestia quickly shook her head and looked Anon in the eye, "My deepest apologies. I don't know what got into me. I think I should go lay down for a bit." She replied.
"But sister, you've only just woken up a few hours ago." Luna pointed out.
"I know, but I am feeling a little unwell. If you would, Luna, please come up to my room as soon as you're done," Celestia responded before turning back to Anon, "Anon, please do have a good time. Please excuse me, I'm not quite sure why I feel so... hot, all of a sudden."
With that, the solar alicorn teleported herself and her food out of the room and back to her own bedroom, leaving Anon and Luna together in the dining room. Anon slowly glanced over to Luna to find her giving him a similar look of confusion. After a moment of silence, and a quick glance down at her food, Luna spoke up.
"I should probably go check on her... Once I finish dinner, that is." She said, before taking another bite of her own salad.
"Do... you want me to go up with you?" Anon asked, quirking his brow in curiosity.
Luna shook her head, "No, Anon. You needn't worry yourself with this. I'm sure Celestia is just being dramatic. I'll make sure she is okay."
Anon acknowledged with a nod before diving into his scrambled eggs. Soon enough Luna was finished, and gave him a small nod before teleporting herself to Celestia's door. She looked both ways down the hallway before knocking three times and patiently waiting for a response. It only took a moment for Celestia's magic to throw the door open and pull Luna inside before slamming the door shut behind her.
"Luna!" Celestia cried, "I completely forgot!"
"Forgot what?" Luna asked as she was shook about by her sister's magic.
"About Anon's date with Sunshine! I completely forgot! I don't have time to do that today!" Celestia exclaimed, holding her head with her hooves.
"Hold on, sister, hold on. Firstly, put me down." Luna placated, giving her sister a deadpanned expression as she hovered a few feet off the ground in a golden aura.
Celestia immediately cut her magic and let Luna fall to the floor with a loud *clop*.
"Luna, what am I going to do!? He's in such a good mood today! If I don't show up, he'll think Sunshine lied to him and stood him up! It'll break his heart." Celestia continued to panic, waving her hooves around for emphasis.
"Sister, calm down. You're not doing anypony any good by having an episode in your room." Luna demanded, her harsh tone forcing Celestia to at least sit still.
"Alright, thank you. Now, what exactly do you have planned today?" Luna pressed, placing a comforting hoof on Celestia's wither.
"I... have a couple diplomatic meetings with the Griffon and Minotaur ambassadors... and then a meeting with the mayor of Manehatten at four. I'm completely booked for the whole day. Those ambassador meetings always take at least four to five hours." Celestia explained.
"Well, what time is Anon expecting Sunshine to meet him down in the park?" Luna asked.
"I don't believe I gave him a set time... I think I just said Sunday and that was it." Celestia replied, a look of concentration on her face.
"So how does he know when to meet you down there?" Luna inquired.
"I have no idea! I assume he's just planning to spend the entire day down there until I arrive or worse... I don't and it breaks his heart." Celestia frowned.
"Tia, I'm sure it won't kill him if you don't show up." Luna deadpanned.
"Lulu, you don't understand. Anon was very interested in Sunshine... and I was more flirtatious than I'd like. I'm worried he's got the thought in his head that Sunshine may be the mare he should choose to be with." Celestia frantically explained.
"He may be interested in Sunshine, yes, but I'm sure he can handle not having her. There are plenty of other mares out there and after talking with him, I feel as if he'll have no trouble once a mare decides to approach him." Luna dismissed.
Celestia did a double take, "Wait, when did you speak with him?" She asked.
"A few nights ago. When he was looking particularly upset after his education with Raven. I took a page from your book and reverted to my old self before going out and meeting with him in the garden." Luna responded.
"You reverted to your old form? It's been so long I don't even remember what you used to look like... a-anyways, how did that go?" Celestia asked, shaking her head.
"It went extremely well... although, I am unsure if it is wise to continue to lie to him like this. He already doesn't trust us... pretending to be other mares to gain his trust just feels like it will sabotage any chance of him ever trusting us again." Luna admitted.
Celestia sighed, "I know, Lulu. I know. That's why I only encouraged it as a way to make friends with him and see things perhaps from his perspective. I know that it helped me last week... until now, that is. Rest assured, as long as we don't give him the wrong impression while we're our old selves, we should be able to avoid hurting him again. Having said that, tell me, what happened?" She replied.
"Once we became acquainted, I learned many things about him that I never would have expected. He's actually... interested in the night sky. I can't say I recall ever meeting a stallion that told me how beautiful my night was to them. They've always been too scared to say anything." Luna explained, a small blush forming on her muzzle.
"Well that's wonderful, sister... but are you sure you didn't get too close to him?" Celestia asked.
"What do you mean?" Luna tilted her head to the side.
"Well... if he starts to fall for you too, then we'll both have the difficult task of letting him down as our old forms... and it doesn't help that I still don't even know how I'm going to get down to the park to let him down in the first place!" Celestia facehoofed.
"Relax, sister. I will take care of your duties until you have taken care of this." Luna replied, holding up a hoof.
Celestia looked at Luna as if she'd spoken another language, "Sister, I can't ask you to do that. You've already done your duties for the night and you must be exhausted."
"There is a magical drink in this day and age called coffee. I've become quite fond of it for the days where I must stay up for whatever event you have planned," Luna smirked, "Besides, I'm not offering to take your duties on for the entire day. Just until you deal with Anon for the day. If you go now, you should be able to meet him down there and let him down gently before noon."
Celestia looked to the massive grandfather clock at the end of the room and frowned, "So you're saying I have two hours?"
Luna nodded, "Make it quick, sister, but please, do be gentle. I have... quite enjoyed my talk with him and I do not wish for Anon to leave anymore."
Celestia nodded, "On that, we can agree. Alright, Lulu. Thank you for this. I'll be as fast as I can."
Luna smiled before leaning in for a nuzzle with her sister. Celestia warmly returned the nuzzle before her horn lit up in a golden light and she teleported out of the room.
Anon walked through the Grand Park of the middle district with a nervous look in his eyes. As he passed group after group of ponies while they enjoyed the park to the fullest, Anon couldn't quite get a sick feeling out of his gut.
"Did she say a time? I can't remember... shit, maybe she's just not gonna show up." He mumbled to himself as he watched a herd enjoying a picnic under one of the magnolia trees.
Anon looked back and forth at the ponies going about their day before the sound of heavy sabots on grass behind him caught his attention and he turned around to see Javelin as he trotted up to his side.
"Area looks clear. So, when's your date showing up?" Javelin asked, his eyes scanning the area curiously.
"Well... I'm not completely sure. She didn't really give a time, she just... told me Sunday. I think... I'm not too sure, honestly." Anon explained, scratching the back of his neck.
"She didn't mention a time at all? Well that's not good. She could come by any time today." Javelin shook his head.
"I know. That's kinda why I cleared the whole day out so that there wouldn't be anything to come up and get in the way of that, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe she just lied to me." Anon admitted, sticking his hands in his pockets.
Javelin cocked an eyebrow back and pursed his lip, "Well, that would be a really cruel things to do, but I have heard of that kind of thing happening before. Thing is, from what I saw and everything you've said about this mare, she doesn't seem the type. Usually you can see that kinda thing coming from a mile away." He explained.
Anon sighed, "I'm not the best at reading ponies yet... but regardless, she talked with Celestia and Luna, so she must have good intentions. I don't think she'd go and bitch out the two most powerful ponies in Equestria for me just to stand me up a few days later."
"Touché." Javelin nodded.
Anon looked back up at the surrounding ponies as they continued to go about their leisurely day as if nothing in the world was wrong. His gaze slowly drifted from a pair of mares as they doted on their stallion, sitting under the shade of a tree, to the trio of mares enjoying what appeared to be a pleasant picnic. He watched as two pegasi took turns preening each other and conversing happily under the gentle morning sunlight.
With his hands in his pockets, Anon looked down to the ground, spying a lone rock lying next to his foot. With his lips pursed into the beginnings of a frown, he took a step back and kicked the rock. It promptly flew through the air and smacked Sunshine in the face as she approached from the front.
"Ouch!" She cried as she stumbled back.
Anon froze, his hands still in his pockets as his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and all attention in the park suddenly diverted right to the scene he caused.
"Oh... oh my god. Sunshine!" Anon exclaimed as he rushed over to her side, "Fuck, I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you there. That was a complete accident." He hastily explained.
Javelin quickly appeared at Sunshine's other side and looked her over, "Hmm... doesn't seem like it cut you. Would you like some ice for the swelling that's surely going to cause?" He asked.
Sunshine nodded as she held her cheek with both of her hooves. Javelin cast a quick spell, and an icepack appeared before him. He gently levitated it over to Sunshine's cheek, where Anon grabbed it and pressed it against the wound. Meanwhile, he looked as inconspicuously as he could at the staring crowd of ponies that were quietly whispering amongst themselves.
"I know I forgot to give you a time, but that just felt a little unnecessary." Sunshine pouted.
"Sunshine, I am so sorry. I really didn't see you there at all. God I'm such a jackass." Anon frowned hard, his gaze drifting to the floor in shame.
Sunshine eyed him for a few moments before sighing quietly to herself, "You and your donkey references... It's alright, I know you didn't mean to do it. Let's just pretend it didn't happen?" She offered, a sympathetic half smile on her face.
"With that welt, I doubt that's possible." Javelin mentioned, giving her a sidelong glance.
Both Sunshine and Anon glared at the unicorn stallion, prompting him to close his mouth and back up a few feet.
"Right, I'll let you two hash this out. Go get 'em, sir." Javelin gave a quick salute before turning away from the pair.
Anon watched Javelin with a raised brow before sighing and looking back at Sunshine. He gently pulled the icepack away to reveal a small welt on her reddened cheek, but otherwise no real damage. He softly pushed the icepack back into her cheek, earning a small hiss from the mare.
"Sorry." Anon mumbled, one hand absently stroking through the soft fur on her clean cheek while the other held the icepack in place.
Sunshine looked up to Anon as he held the ice pack against her cheek. The look of genuine concern and fear in his eyes made her heart ache.
Oh now how can I go and break his heart when he looks like that!? Anon you're not playing fair at all! Faust damn it, why do you have to look so cute and dote on me like I'm just any normal mare... Sunshine thought to herself.
After a few more moments of this, Anon's fingers reached a particularly ticklish spot on Sunshine's cheek. She tried and failed to suppress a giggle as she his fingers brushed through her fur, causing the man in question to raise an eyebrow.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing, nothing. It's just that your hand tickles." Sunshine replied, her right eye closed from the the proximity of Anon's fingers.
Anon's face quickly reddened, "Oh my fuck, I am so sorry," He said as he pulled his hand away, "I am such a fucking idiot. That's like, super degrading to you ponies, isn't it? Fuck I'm sorry, I've ruined this already." He shook his head, a deep frown visible on his face.
Sunshine grabbed his retreating hand with her hoof, "Don't worry, you're okay. It's not degrading at all, in fact, it felt... pretty nice." She replied, a blush slowly creeping up her face as well.
"A-are you sure? You don't have to pretend for my sake, I've already fucked this all up." Anon countered, a look of resignation on his face.
"Really, it's fine. We ponies love physical contact. It's how we show affection. Besides, this ice pack is freezing one side of my face, I could use something nice as a distraction." Sunshine responded, pulling Anon's hand back to her cheek.
Anon took a moment to process her words, but eventually complied with Sunshine's request and continued to slowly stroke his fingers through her fur. The texture was smooth and soft like velvet as his fingers danced through the forest of fur all the way back to her mane. Quick enough, Sunshine was leaning into his touch and nuzzling her cheek into his hand as he took to gently scratching under her ear.
A smile quickly broke on Anon's face at the downright adorable display Sunshine was putting on. Her eyes closed in bliss as a dopey smile broke out on her face and her hind leg began to twitch. Taking another leap of faith, Anon brought his hand up to her ear and softly pinched the appendage in his fingers before scratching into the sensitive fur inside. Sunshine instantly gasped while her eyes fluttered and she leaned even harder into Anon's hand, almost to the point of falling over.
Eventually, Anon pulled his hand away from the unicorn mare as well as the icepack, earning a quiet whine and pout in the process. He chuckled lightly to himself before inspecting her cheek once more, finding that the swelling was almost completely gone, and all that remained was a small red mark that shown through her now damp fur.
"Alright, I think that should heal up nicely. Don't think we need the icepack anymore." Anon said, placing the icepack on the ground.
Sunshine nodded, "Mmmhmm. Now I can't feel the left side of my face." She said with a smirk.
"Again, I'm so sorry about that. I would never hit anyone like that on purpose, especially you." Anon replied, his gaze still slightly downcast.
Sunshine rolled her tongue in her mouth before walking slightly past Anon and flicking his face with her tail, startling the man slightly, "If you want to make it up to me, I do see an ice cream cart over there... and some more of that scratching would be sufficient." She said, a teasing tone in her voice.
It took Anon all of one second to connect the dots and hastily push himself upright, "Uh, s-sure! Of course! Let's go." He excitedly replied.
"I'll be watching from here, sir." Javelin commented as the pair walked away from him.
"Thanks, Jav." Anon gratefully responded as he caught up to Sunshine.
Together, the man and pony quickly made their way over to the ice cream stand at the other side of the park. There was a short line, allowing them to quickly get to the front.
"What can I get you two?" The cart owner enthusiastically asked.
"Sherbet for me. Can I get two scoops?" Sunshine asked politely.
"Certainly, and for you, sir?" The pony replied, looking to Anon.
"Uh, can I just get a scoop of mint chocolate chip?" Anon asked.
"Of course, sir. Just a moment."
The pony quickly pulled out two cones, a scoop, and opened the cart with her magic. She swiftly scooped the appropriate ice cream onto each cone before bringing them to both Anon and Sunshine.
"Alrighty! That'll be two bits for the mint chocolate chip, and three for the sherbet." She chirped.
Anon quickly dug into his pocket and pulled out a coin pouch. He reached in with his free hand, only for Sunshine to stop his hand with her magic. A puzzled look crossed Anon's face as he looked over to the unicorn.
"I was just teasing you, Anon. I've got this." She said, teleporting the proper amount of bits from some unknown source.
"Sunshine, it's fine. I got this." Anon insisted.
"Nope. I won't hear it. You're too nice of a stallion to have to pay for me. I've got it." Sunshine replied, shaking her head.
Anon rolled his eyes, "You know, you never let me buy you that drink. You still owe me one opportunity to buy you something."
Sunshine moved her mouth to speak, but after a few moments of finding no adequate response, sighed heavily, "Are you sure, Anon?" She asked.
"Of course. Let me have this, will ya? It's been forever since I got to buy a pretty girl something." Anon replied with a quick wink, making Sunshine blush profusely.
Anon finished fishing for his bits and swiftly deposited them on the cart. The cart owner magic'd the bits into her own purse with practiced ease, and gave a wide, yet very genuine smile.
"Thank you both. Have a wonderful morning." She waved as Anon and Sunshine departed.
"Thank you! You too." Anon called back as he and Sunshine walked back toward the center of the park, the latter still struggling to find her words.
Anon and Sunshine easily found Javelin in the center of the park once more. His golden armor and white coat stood out against the greenery of the surrounding area, making him easy to identify. They swiftly approached him, finding that he hadn't moved at all since they left.
"You good?" Anon inquired, a small look of concern on his face, "You haven't moved a muscle."
"All good. Don't worry about me. We train to stand like this for hours and hours a day. I was just making sure you guys had a spot." Javelin casually replied, pointing to a small bench just on the other side of the walkway and next to the small lake in the center of the park.
"Thanks dude. Next time we hang out, beers are on me." Anon replied, nodding thankfully.
Anon and Sunshine walked over to the aforementioned bench and sat down next to each other. The small size of the bench, and the larger size of Anon's human frame, however, forced them to be much closer than what would be considered casual. Anon's shoulder was pressed against Sunshine's wither, making it slightly difficult for her to sit down comfortably.
"Hmm... We seem to find ourselves in a small predicament here." Sunshine mentioned as she strained against the armrest on the bench.
Anon looked for solutions but found only one. He glanced over to Sunshine nervously before clearing his throat, "I, uh... I think I have an idea that will make this more comfortable. If you're okay with it, that is."
"I'm willing to hear some suggestions." Sunshine teased as she wiggled around on the bench.
Anon leaned away from Sunshine before pulling his arm free and wrapping it around her other shoulder, freeing up the space between them in the process. Sunshine looked down at Anon's hand as it cupped her wither and brought his fingers just a hair's breadth from her chest fluff. A warm blush rose on her face as she quickly glanced over to Anon to see him looking away, an embarrassed look on his face.
Sunshine pursed her lips before looking down at Anon's hand once more and nuzzling it with her cheek.
"If you're gonna hold me like this, then you'd better put those fingers of yours to good use, mister." She ordered, her tone as teasing and friendly as it could be.
Anon looked over at the alabaster unicorn beside him as she took a long, slow lick of her sherbet ice cream to keep it from melting. A hot blush quickly formed on his face as he slowly pressed his digits into her fur and scratched.
"I think I can manage that."
Author's Note
Something something, hormones make us do stupid shit we know we shouldn't.
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