"Come again?" Anon asked, cleaning his ear out with a pinkie.

Celestia frowned slightly while Luna scowled, "I said that Luna and I are in a romantic relationship."

Anon shook his head slowly, "Right... that's... that's what I thought you said. Just wanted to make sure I heard right." He replied, his eyes still wide with surprise.

A painful silence quickly descended over the room as the sisters watched Anon and judged his reaction. After nearly a minute of noiselessness, Luna growled and facehoofed.

"Will you just say something already!" She shouted.

Anon jumped at her volume before shaking his head and clearing his throat, "Right, right. Sorry, I'm just... taking that all in. It's uh... not every day you hear news like that."

"Anonymous, please try to remember the situation as I described to you a moment ago. You've no idea how hard it is to watch the ponies you love die over and over again while you continue to live without aging a day... Being with each other is the only way Luna and I can have a partner that we won't simply outlive." Celestia offered with a placating tone.

"I mean, you're right, I don't think I'd ever understand what you both went through. It's just a large pill to swallow, you know. Also, I have even more questions now." Anon responded.

"What questions are those?" Celestia tilted her head to the side.

"Well, for starters, why did you make that Act in the first place if you and-" Anon looked over to Luna, "-you were already in a relationship?"

Luna sighed through her nostrils, "Partially, because we were on the moon for the last thousand years." She muttered.

"We?" Anon quietly inquired, only for Celestia to continue.

"Also... largely because of the way our ponies would react." She added.

"What do you mean? The ponies wouldn't be okay with this? Don't they, like... not have a choice? At all?" Anon questioned, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Celestia cleared her throat, "While... we could inform the public of our relationship and tell them that they have no sway over the matter... there are several complications that would arise. Firstly, incest was banned by law well over a thousand years ago."

"Right, because of the genetic issues that it could have." Anon chimed in.

"Exactly. However, as you can clearly see, my sister and I are both mares. Therefore, there are no foals to worry about. That said, there's also the matter of us placing ourselves above the law, which, as I'm sure you can tell, isn't a good look," Celestia continued, "Secondly, there's the matter of how the general public would react. You aren't even a pony and your reaction spoke volumes about how you view the subject."

Anon held his hands up in a defensive manner, "Well, hang on, it's not that I think it's... super bad... I mean, unless one of you were a dude, then I think there would be some serious moral issues there, but since you're both mares... I think... I can kinda be okay with it. I mean, considering your situation, it does make a lot of sense." He admitted.

"You don't get to decide if it's 'kinda' okay, human. This is our relationship, and you will either respect it in it's completeness, or you will not be our royal consort." Luna barked from her side of the table.

"Luna, please," Celestia sighed, before turning back to Anon, "My sister is still adjusting to Equestria as it is today. Back in the days of old, whatever we said or did was considered perfection, and ponies were imprisoned or worse for not agreeing with us or insulting us in any way. Mind you, we've come a long way since then. My sister and I are just as fallible as any other creature, as we both have learned over the centuries." She explained, sending a pointed glance Luna's way.

The lunar alicorn seemed to get the point and retreated back into her seat somewhat, crossing her hooves as she angrily pouted. Anon eyed her warily before turning back to Celestia with a frown.

"I... understand. I'll try to keep that in mind in the future."

Celestia smiled, "Excellent. Thank you. Any other questions?"

Anon scratched his chin, "Well... does anyone else know about you two?" He inquired.

Celestia nodded, "Raven is aware, along with all of our personal guards and a few of the maid staff. They've all sworn to keep their silence on the subject."

"Huh... Alright." Anon shrugged ever so slightly.

"Of course, now, you've made your position fairly clear, but we still haven't received an answer from you with regards to our offer." Celestia replied.

Anon's eyes darted back to Luna for the briefest of moments before going back to Celestia, "I, uh... I dunno. Am I going to have to walk on eggshells around you two all the time? That sounds like more of a prison sentence than anything else." He admitted, an uneasy frown on his face.

Celestia shook her head, "No, of course not. Once we're married, you will be royalty. You will officially become a prince, although, that will take some time to take effect. Even as our consort, you will be treated as our equal, although you will not have the same level of authority as us. I assure you, neither me, nor my sister will use our positions to threaten, intimidate, or cause any harm to come to you, isn't that right, Luna?" She explained, glaring slightly at the lunar alicorn.

Luna rolled her eyes before sitting upright once more, "Of course, sister. Anonymous, as much as this situation irks me, we swear by our moon and stars, that we will not have you turned into a frog and thrown into the dungeon for angering us during this ordeal." She announced in a flat tone.

Anon gulped, "Uh... thanks. That, uh... That's very appreciated, Princess... um, quick question. Why do you keep referring to yourself as 'we'?" He asked.

"'Tis tradition to address our subjects using the royal 'we' and 'us'." Luna replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uh huh..." Anon slowly nodded.

"Luna, please drop the old Canterlotian. If Anon is to be our consort, you will have to speak to him normally. He will no longer be one of our subjects, he will be one of us." Celestia chimed in.

"That depends entirely on if he is willing to take on the role in the first place." Luna shrugged, sagging back into her chair.

Celestia shook her head and sighed, before turning back to Anon, "Anonymous, now that you know all of this, what is your answer? I hate to keep pushing you like this, but we do need to know."

The man in question chewed on his tongue as he gazed down at his plate, his mind pondering over the situation at hand. He looked over to Celestia, finding her giving an encouraging smile. Then he looked over to Luna, only to find her looking down at him with reserved curiosity. Albeit with some trepidation, he slowly made up his mind.

"Well... uh, I mean... it'll definitely spice life up... a lot. Not like I've got anything else going for me." He shrugged.

Celestia beamed, "Fantastic. Thank you so much Anonymous. I can't begin to tell you how much we both appreciate this."

"Yeah... I can tell." Anon half smiled, casting a wary look Luna's way.

Luna raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, instead opting to gaze back out the window at the night sky and the moon as it hovered in the horizon.

"Well, like I said, the movers have already moved all of your possessions into the castle, and your room has been furnished accordingly. I will have Sergeant Javelin show you there after dinner. Tomorrow will be a busy day, so we'll have to get you up and dressed accordingly fairly early in the morning. Perhaps within an hour after I raise the sun." Celestia explained, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Why so early? What's tomorrow?" Anon inquired, looking at her cautiously.

"Well we'll need to get you fitted for the ceremony, of course." Celestia replied.

"What ceremony?" Anon pressed, completely lost.

"The ceremony of our vows... do you not know about that?" Celestia tilted her head to the side.

Anon shook his head.

"The ceremony of our vows is where we pledge ourselves to one another and make the marriage date official. That's where you'll become an official royal consort to Luna and I. Most of Canterlot will be present." Celestia elaborated.

Anon turned a shade greener, "W-we're... tomorrow...Most of Canterlot?" He whispered, his eyes wide.

Celestia nodded, "Fear not. It will be a relatively simple affair. We'll meet there, say our vows, then you'll officially become our consort. The wedding date will be set about six months from then, as the majority of Equestria will want to attend and the logistical nightmare that's going to cause will take some time to deal with." She finished.

"Right... right... so, all we're doing is just... saying some bullshit vows and then picking a date? Nothing else? Nothing intimate?" Anon hastily questioned.

Celestia immediately looked uncomfortable, "W-well..." She trailed off.

Luna sighed loudly from her side of the table, "You will have to kiss both of us to seal the vows, Anonymous."

Anon's face paled, "O-oh... is that all?"

"Aside from pledging your vows to us, and the kiss, no. I promise to keep the ceremony as short as possible. If I may, you seem quite uncomfortable with the thought of kissing us. I'm sorry if we aren't what your species would consider attractive, but it will be as quick as we can make it." Celestia offered, a worried look present in her eyes.

"Wait, what? No! No, no, no! You guys are gorgeous! Like, for real. You're both absurdly beautiful. I didn't even think of ponies as attractive until recently but even when I first met you, I thought you were beautiful. No, no... it's not that." Anon hastily asserted, frantically waving his hands around.

Celestia seemed to smile just a tad at his words, "Then what's troubling you, Anonymous?" She asked, her brow furrowing in concern once more.

"It's just... ah, I don't know... I just don't do so well with big crowds. I get so anxious that I'm going to make a fool out of myself... and being the only human here just makes it worse. Everyone's gonna know the one human made himself look like a complete dumbass in front of most of Canterlot." Anon sighed, sinking into his chair.

Celestia looked over to Luna to find that for the first time since she laid eyes on Anon, she had a look of sympathy on her face. As soon as the lunar alicorn realized she was being looked at, she turned to Celestia and raised an eyebrow. Albeit with some hesitation, the larger sister turned back to Anon and gave a supportive smile.

"Anonymous, I promise you that we will do everything in our power to ensure you don't do anything inappropriate. We will go over everything tonight after dinner, and tomorrow once again before the ceremony. While... I can't say that any of us are particularly excited about the kiss tomorrow, you're not the first creature of a different species that we've had to kiss publicly. I'm sure we can work out how to make it as simple and effortless as possible." Celestia stated.

Anon looked up at the solar princess with surprise and intrigue written all over his face, "Wait... what other species have you guys been with?" He asked.

"There have only been a few, however, I do recall a griffon long before the war." Celestia responded, scratching her chin in thought.

"There were two hippogriffs back before my banishment. Celia Spring and Gale Breeze." Luna recalled fondly.

"Oh! I do remember the time I was with a dragon. His name was Paarthurnax. Very wise young dragon. Very charming. Unfortunately, the dragon lord at the time called all of his subjects back to the dragon lands for some grand expedition and I never saw him again. If he was still around today, he'd be massive. At least the size of this room." Celestia chuckled as she reminisced.

The way the two sisters seemed to lighten up as they recalled their past lovers made Anon visibly relax as well. The previous tension in the air seemed to simply melt away, leaving a calm feeling in the air as Anon listened to the two old mares and their previous relationships. Another few minutes of idle recollection passed by before the door to the kitchen was suddenly opened and the waiter entered, pushing along a cart loaded with food with his magic.

The waiter swiftly deposited a platter in front of each of the three occupants of the table and left without a word, only stopping to give a small bow as he exited. Once he was gone, Anon looked down at his tray to see a large bowl filled with blood red soup with some parsley sprinkled on top and a small piece of toasted bread sticking out of the liquid. He hesitantly grabbed his spoon and dipped it into the soup.

Anon glanced up at Celestia and Luna as he slowly stirred his spoon, finding them both already preoccupied with their own meals. With a small shrug, he brought the spoon to his mouth and tasted the soup.

"Oh yeah..." He whispered, "That's the good shit. I could get used to this."

The Next Morning

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." Anon quickly repeated the mantra he'd been reciting for the past twenty minutes.

The nervous wreck of a man paced back and forth as he looked out of the window at the crowd of hundreds of Canterlot ponies gathered in the courtyard of the castle. Sweat dripped from his brow and ran down his neck as he wiped his face for the umpteenth time that morning. The still growing crowd made his nerves spiral out of control, making him jumpy and jittery.

Despite their insistence otherwise, Celestia and Luna were at a loss as to what to do to help Anon before the ceremony was due to begin. As their personal dressmakers tended to the last finishing touches on their exquisite white and black dresses, the royal sisters eyed Anon with concern.

"He's been pacing like that for the last half hour. Are you sure he'll be alright for the ceremony?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.

Celestia sighed, "I'm not sure. I didn't think his nerves would be quite this bad before an event like this. I'm sure we can help him coast through it. We might just need some... assistance," She replied, before looking down to her assistant, "Raven, do you think you could bring Anon some tea with some rhineroot extract?"

Raven nodded, "Of course, Princess. I'll have somepony on it right away." She quickly replied before departing the room.

As the unicorn secretary left the room, Javelin made his way over to Anon's side, eyeing the slightly shaking man to his right with a curious eyebrow raised.

"How're you doing, sir." Javelin asked.

"I told you to call me Anon, didn't I?" Anon snippily responded.

Javelin recoiled ever so slightly at Anon's tone.

"Sorry, sorry. I know you're just doing your job. I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just... so fucking nervous, holy shit. Like... there's gotta be over five hundred of them out there... and this is only the ceremony of vows? How many are gonna cram in here for the actual wedding? I don't do well in crowds like this, man. At least, not until I've had a lot of alcohol." Anon apologized, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"It's no problem sir... Anon. Sorry, I'm just not used to somepony being so informal with me while I'm on duty. I'll try to remember that you don't want to be addressed like that. I'm sure the ceremony will go smoothly though. You have both princesses looking after you, so I doubt they'll let anything go wrong. It's just like they told you earlier this morning. All you have to do is say the vow as it's written down in front of you, kiss each princess when told, and say 'I do'. Just focus on that and pretend the crowd isn't out there, and this will be a piece of cake." Javelin responded, a half smile working its way onto his face.

"Thanks, Jav. Thanks. I appreciate it, man. I'm doing my best, but, man, it's tough to not think of all the eyes on me. This shit is exactly why I didn't become an actor. Fucking anxiety always gets the best of me. At least, until I get a few drinks in me... then I end up being the center of attention for sure." Anon nodded, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to calm his nerves.

"Well I'm sure most actors have the same level of anxiety you have, it's just a matter of managing it. Don't worry, you'll only have to be out in front of all those eyes for a few minutes, maybe half an hour at most. There's no afterparty or anything else so we can work on your sober confidence before the actual wedding." Javelin offered.

"Yeah, thanks man." Anon replied, patting Javelin on the back of his helmet.

Before Javelin could respond, Raven walked up to the duo with a mug of tea held in her magical grasp. She cleared her throat, earning the attention of both Anon and Javelin.

"Miss Inkwell." Javelin acknowledged with a nod.

"Sergeant," Raven responded before looking up to Anon, "Anonymous. Here, drink this." She ordered, levitating the mug up to Anon's face.

Anon grabbed the mug with both hands and slowly brought it over to his nose to smell. The faint scent of hibiscus and something he could not place reached his nose, making Anon sigh quietly.

"What's in this tea?" He asked, eyeing Raven curiously.

"It's a special blend of hibiscus tea blended with ginger root. The princess thought it would help calm your nerves. Please, just take a couple sips. It's very effective. It should help calm you down and, we have to be out there within the hour." Raven replied with a very professional and calm tone.

Anon eyed the drink for a moment before taking a sip. After a moment of judging the flavor, he smiled to himself and drank more of the tea down, earning a small smile from the secretary in the process.

"If you gentlecolts need me, I'll be with Princess Celestia. I'll see you both when it's time." Raven announced, giving a smile to both Anon and Javelin.

Javelin blushed ever so slightly before nodding and looking back toward Anon to find the man staring down at him with wide eyes.

"Bro... did you just... blush?" Anon inquired.

"No!" Javelin hastily denied.

"Oh my God, you totally did. You have the hots for her, don't you?" Anon pressed, cracking a wide smile.

"I do not! Besides, we shouldn't focus on this now. Weren't you just nervous as all Tartarus a second ago anyways?" Javelin asserted with an even more noticeable blush on his muzzle.

"Oh I totally still am, it's just that making fun of your crush on the secretary is taking my mind off of it so please just let me have a bit of fun here," Anon replied before taking another sip of his tea, "That and this stuff is making me feel a lot better. I feel a lot looser and more relaxed all of a sudden."

Javelin raised an eyebrow, "That fast? You only took a couple sips. Either way, I'd prefer not to discuss my feelings for any mares while I'm on duty. Once I'm off duty, we can discuss things like that." He responded.

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. Just bustin' your balls a bit. I'm sure I'm going to turn myself into a laughing stock whenever they call us out there." Anon replied drinking down the remainder of the tea quickly.

Another pony with a clipboard held in his magical grasp quickly entered the room, "Everypony! The ceremony is about to begin. Princesses, would you please head downstairs immediately. Anonymous, it's time for you to take your place at the back." He announced, his voice booming in the relatively small room.

Celestia and Luna both nodded as they got to their hooves and followed the stallion out the door, leaving just Javelin and Anon in the room with the dressmakers and Raven.

"Alright stallions, it's time to get a move on. Anonymous, you remember where you're supposed to be, correct?" Raven asked, walking up to the man.

"Y-yesh." Anon said, slurring his words quite noticeably.

"Uh... Anon? Are you alright?" Javelin asked, noticing the distant look in Anon's eyes.

"Mmhmm... never bedder," Anon responded, before stepping toward the opposite doorway and nearly falling flat on his face, "Oh... who put that floor there?"

"Anon what the hay has gotten into you? Are you drunk?" Javelin exclaimed, using his magic to help prop the human up.

"Oh... buck." Raven muttered, eyeing the empty cup of tea.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Javelin questioned, looking back and forth between the secretary and Anon.

"We... might have a slight problem. I didn't think the rhineroot would affect him so much so quickly." Raven muttered, her brow furrowed in thought.

"Rhineroot!? I thought you said the tea had ginger root in it!" Javelin exclaimed, a panicked look crossing his face.

"Hehe, cute white fluffballs are yelling at each other." Anon drunkenly chuckled as he swayed in place.

"I didn't want Anonymous to be concerned about the drink! He was a mess of nerves and the princess thought it would help him calm down before the ceremony." Raven defended.

"The solution to his nerves was to drug him!?" Javelin facehoofed.

"It wasn't my idea! Listen, we can't let him go out there like this. This ceremony is already going to be under intense scrutiny because of its very nature. We can't risk a drunk human bumbling around and making a fool of himself the entire time." Raven thought aloud, fixing Javelin with an intense look.

"Well what do we do then?" Javelin replied.

"We have to call the ceremony off. I'll go to the princesses. You make sure that he-" Raven turned to where Anon was only to find that he was gone, "-stays put and oh my Celestia where did he go!? "She shrieked.

Javelin immediately bolted to the doorway to look for Anon but found nothing. He hastily rushed back to Raven, finding her staring out the window in horror. A pit quickly formed in his stomach as he walked over to the window and looked outside. Music began to play as the ceremony began, and while Celestia and Luna stood elegantly on the raised platform in the center of the courtyard, Anon was struggling to walk up the aisle.

He stumbled left, then right, then backwards, and eventually forward. The walk that would normally take only a minute to complete ended up taking almost twice as long as Anon struggled to get his footing right. His eyes were directed at his feet the entire time, as if looking at something else would cause him to lose his concentration and he would fall down completely. Raven's jaw dropped as Anon finally made it to the stage in the center of the courtyard, but rather than walking onto it normally, he laid down on the stairs and rolled himself upwards until he was facedown on the stage with the two princesses of Equestria.

Anon appeared to mutter something to himself before pushing himself up to his feet and staggering over to the center of the podium, between Celestia and Luna. While the solar diarch seemed to be eyeing him with concern and surprise, the lunar alicorn was glaring daggers at the tall man as her tail whipped back and forth in barely suppressed anger.

"Dearly beloved," The speaker started, "We are gathered here today, to witness the vows of both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to their newly appointed consort, as well as his vows to them. Princess Celestia, would you like to start?" She asked, looking to the larger alicorn with a smile.

"Of course," Celestia replied before turning to Anon, "Anonymous, though our time together has been short so far, I cannot deny that there is something about you that has caught my eye. I could not choose you without careful consideration, though I am certain that I will be nothing but pleased to have you in my life. I vow to honor you, cherish you, and love you until the day you die. This, I swear by my own sun, and my own heart." She announced, looking at the still swaying man with all the compassion she could muster.

A wave of cheers and stomping hooves swept through the crowd. The speaker smiled warmly and nodded to the solar diarch before turning to the lunar princess, "And you, Princess Luna?"

Luna grit her teeth and cleared her throat, "Anonymous... we feel the same as our sister. Though we have only known you for a short time... we swear to treat thee as any lover should." She said, just barely preventing a scowl from forming on her face.

A much smaller wave of cheers and applause swept through the crowd as the speaker focused on Anon.

"Now, Anonymous. Having heard these vows from both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, what say you?" She announced, drawing all eyes to the man who was eyeing the floor as if he was going to fall into the sky any second.

Celestia and Luna both eyed the man worriedly as he slowly looked up to his hand for his scribbled notes. Once he seemed sure of himself, he looked up to the speaker, and then to each princess.

"I... promise to love you both..." He looked down at his hand again, "No matter what. Until my dying breath... my heart is yours." He finished, looking to his hand once more in scrutiny before nodding, apparently satisfied with his performance.

Another wave of excited cheers and stomping hooves ran through the crowd, although many of them were more confused than anything.

The speaker nodded and cleared her throat, "Then, by the power vested in me by both her majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, I declare your vows spoken. Please, kiss the stallion to seal the bond."

Celestia and Luna both turned to Anon, the latter looking much more displeased than the former. As the solar alicorn approached him, Anon managed a crooked smile and leaned forward. Celestia moved in for the kiss, only to be surprised as Anon grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her into a deep kiss. Her eyes widened as she felt his lips pressed firmly against hers, his head tilted to the side to gain better access. After several seconds, he pulled away with a wet *pop*, leaving the solar alicorn speechless.

Luna was even less prepared. She stared at Anon in shock as he finished with Celestia and drunkenly walked the short distance over to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off as Anon again grabbed her by the back of her head with both hands and pressed his lips against hers. His tongue immediately raced out and caressed hers as he kissed her even more deeply than Celestia. Luna grunted in protest but quickly remembered her place and accepted the admittedly sloppy kiss.

Finally, Anon pulled away and stood upright, a wide smile on his drunken face as he swayed in place next to the two recovering alicorns. The entire crowd stood in silence, even the speaker finding no words for the raunchy public display.

"We are so bucked." Raven whispered.

Author's Note

A little too much liquid courage, huh?