Violent Thoughts

The yellow pony kicked his legs under the water. The last bubbles of air escaping his lungs as he sank to the lake floor. The way down felt like an eternity. The light from the moon reflected off from the body of water and before he went into eternal sleep it was the last light that he saw. This was it, his well deserved rest. His final thought was that he could finally be free from the shackles that he carried everyday.

That... never happened. The walk from my house to the lake never existed. The drowning was a faux and the yellow unicorn was only sitting on his front porch doing nothing but imagine. Imagine a world where he no longer exist. He hadn't been able to think or speak clearly nowadays. Not until... she left. Maybe it was for the better.

The stars shone brightly under the blanket of Luna's space but he was too focused on his brief moment of pleasure. From the moment he "died" in his imagination. He could almost feel the water seeping into his lungs and burning his throat but no matter how much he kept imagining how horrible he died, it won't be as real as the real thing. It would just be an imagination, nothing more.

When the feeling was gone, all that was left was a tired soul on the front porch of his house. His house was once full of wonderous memories and a happy place. Now it feels like a tomb. Belonging to two ponies who had already died and all that's left are their empty husks.

"Empty husks..." He whispered.

Before he could think of anything else, he found himself imagining what it would be like if ponies found his dead corpse when he "drowned" at the lake. There would most likely be shock. Finding a local offing himself in the lake not far from Ponyville. There would probably be no ponies swimming in there anytime soon. Possibly a horror story or two about his death. There's another thing though.

"What if my body was only tossed away? Buried like how a dog does to its bone" He snickered at the grim thought. "What if... what if I was never acknowledged at all?"

Ponies swimming at the lake having the time of their lives never once being able to see his rotting corpse at the bottom of the lakebed. At this point, he was giggling at his imagination. Shaming his own dead body had never felt this good to do.

He shook my head and stopped laughing. He shouldn't be thinking like this. This isn't normal. Nopony ever thinks like this. He needed help. He needed to find somepony to help him. Maybe he can still be saved.

"Oh, who am I kidding? If I could still be saved, then I wouldn't be here talking to myself like a madpony"

He left the porch and entered his house. The house that was once filled with life now only a museum with pictures of the past haunting his every hoofsteps. The unicorn was focused on the bedroom doorknob and turned it open. The light from the moon passed through the wide window and into the dark room. The air in the dark bedroom was stale. Floors and furniture never cleaned in what looked like forever.

The bed was untidy. A blanket was strewn haphazardly on the floor. From the way it was already collecting dust, its as if it was never moved from its position for a long time. The yellow pony climbed on his bed and landed face first on the pillow.

His poor attempt at trying to sleep was pitiful. Tossing and turning in his bed until his restlessness got the better of him and opened his eyes. Crimson eyes looking up at nothing as his mind instantly went into another self-deprecating thought. Unlike the former thoughts, this new suicidal idea came in quick.

Out of nowhere, a pillow came from nowhere and was shoved in front of him. The pony's eyes were widened as his lungs could not get their precious oxygen. He kicked and screamed out into the pillow but the silhouetted pony didn't budge. The seconds pass and he could feel light headed. His struggling was beginning to die down and his vision was blurring. He shut his eyes as he was beginning to feel tired from keeping them up,

However, the shadowed pony stopped forcing the pillow down on him. The unicorn felt his breathing return to him slowly. He drew in labored breaths and opened his eyes to see his pillow in front of him. He wriggled his limbs around and felt his forelegs on top of the pillow for some reason.

It didn't take long for him to realize what happened.

The unicorn threw the pillow away from him then stared at the would-be suicidal weapon owlishly. He was so close but... why was he afraid of dying when all his thoughts all involve in him getting killed?

"Why am I like this?" He asked to nopony in particular. Outside, the moon was being gently lowered to make way for the sun to rise in its place.

The sun was rising meaning that he only had a few hours to get to work. He worked in a repair shop not far from his home and so he picked up his saddle-bags and walked outside to greet the morning.

The unicorn shielded his eyes at the light of the sun then turned to face the road in front of him. He yawned out loudly and rubbed his eyes with a foreleg.

It wasn't long before ponies started to wonder what happened to him. As he never left his house for a long time. The only times he would come outside are when he had some furniture to fix or he was out buying groceries. Any attempts of communication ended in null as he would switch the topic as fast as possible. Other times he was lost in thought, never speaking a word to anypony unless it was work-related.

There was another thing odd about him. He would steer clear away from any of the element bearers. Especially from the apple farmer. Nopony knows why but maybe it's somehow related to what he's feeling? At the moment, however, it would seem that the unicorn had cut off all attempts at communicating to anypony. Walking around the dirt paths like a automated machine.

A well oiled machine ready to implode, that is.