Man in the Monster

Chapter 7 MitM

 Crreak...

 The sound of a door opening awakes you from your uneasy sleep.

 Recollection...

Okay, I'm in Fluttershy's basement, and the door just opened.

That's really freaky.

 No, wait. I'm in Applejack's barn, and the barn door just opened.

 Even worse.

 You sit up, wincing every time the hay rustles.

 You peek over a wooden crate, and spy a rather large pony-like silhouette against the moonlight seeping through the crack in the door.

 "Hello?"

 The figure suddenly darts out of your vision.

 You're nervous now. Whoever it was is surprisingly quiet.

 But then you realize: you have an advantage.

 The smell of sweat and dirt reaches your hyper-sensitive nose. You sniff some more, trying to locate the source.

 Considering you've never done this before, you don't know how to judge distance based on super-strong smell. Maybe you could-

 -SMACK!-

 The next thing you know, you're on the ground, your ears ringing and your head throbbing.

You see your attacker, and jump to your feet. Adrenaline courses through your veins, as you ready yourself for the blood battle bound to follow.

With surprising speed, your opponent is the first to strike. He lunges, and you nimbly dodge him.

 "Not fast enouNGGH!"

 Your move was obviously anticipated, as the other pony plants his forehooves into the ground and swings his back legs around, sweeping you off your feet from behind.

You land on your back with a thump, and before you know it, he's on top of you, beating the living crap out of your face.

 You cover your face and buck him off. He's surprisingly light, and comes off rather easily. While he's in the air, you kick him right in the stomach with your hind legs.

He flies a couple of feet, and lands on the ground, gasping. You seize this opportunity, and jump on him, pounding his face in with the burning fury of a thousand suns.

 Through your barrage of blows, two hooves reach out and grasp the back of your head. You try to pull them off, but instead are pulled in to meet the face of a scowling red stallion, whose forehead is about to meet yours in a collision destined to decide the winner of this battle.

 His head wins.

 While you gaze at the hundreds of stars that explode out from the middle of your vision, your opponent rolls on top of you and pins you to the floor.

 Just as you are about to pass out, a flash of light and a gasp reach you.

 "Big Mac! What in the hay are you doin'?"

 Big Mac?

 "Ah found this here burglar snoopin' around in the barn and took 'im down!"

 "Big Mac, that's Zach!"

 "Wha-?"

 "I'm lettin' him stay here in the barn! Din't Applebloom tell ya?"

 "Eenope!"

 "Dangnammit, that little... Git offa' him!"

 Big Mac quickly steps off of you as Applejack rushes over, lamp in hoof. You finally see the one you've been fighting for the past three minutes; a tall, red stallion who has a rather calm look about him, despite his hard panting and the crazed look in his eye from the adrenaline.

 "You okay? Did he hurt ya too bad?"

 For some reason, that gets you angry. You just fended off what you assumed to be a pony trained in combat, and now she's treating you like a foal...

 You let the anger simmer down. "I'm fine, just a little... Dazed. To be fair, I think I did a number on him, too."

 Big Mac nods. He has two black eyes, one of them swollen to the point that he can't see through it, and a bloody nose.

 "Ee-*cough*-yup..."

 She shakes her head. "I'll never understand stallions..." she mutters. "Let's change those bandages on your head. There's blood coming through them."

 You reach a paw up to the side of your head. Sure enough, you feel a warm substance, and a twinge of pain from one of the wounds.

Crap. I'd forgotten all about those bite marks.

 "I almost forgot about them..." you lazily say.

 "I don't need any sarcasm from you right now," she snaps, "And Big Mac, you're going to need your whole head iced."

 He groans, and watches Applejack stomp out of the barn.

You turn to Big Mac and extend a paw. "Hey, sorry about the fight. Maybe we'll meet on better circumstances next time?"

 He shakes it, indicating no hard feelings. "Eeyup."

 Applejack's voice rings loud and clear from outside. "Come on, you two idiots! Help me fill this bucket with ice!"

 "I guess we'd better go help her, Is she normally this irritable?"

 "Only at two in the morning..."

 "Gotcha."

 "Do ah gotta spell it out for ya? Move your lazy asses over here!"

  You sit next to a bale of hay outside the barn and chat with your hostess.

 Applejack's better in the morning.

She even apologizes about the way she was acting earlier.

 "Ah just ain't mahself at that hour of the night, ya know?"

 It was really only three hours ago, but she's in a better mood now, and you intend to keep it that way.

 "Well, you can't be blamed. I would be pretty agitated myself, if I had to get up at two in the morning and break up a fight between two idiots in a barn."

 She chuckles, and you finish the egg sandwich she'd made for you, just as Big Mac walks up.

 "Mm. Smells good. Eggs?"

 "Yeah, but I din't make you nuthin'. You can make yer own breakfast today."

 He grumbles, and walks back inside.

 "You ready for a hard day a' work, Zach?"

 "I sure hope so; assuming it's as hard as you make it sound."

 "Oh believe me, I was just tellin' you the easy parts."

 You're doubtful, but concur anyways. "Alright, guess I'll just have to find out on my own."

 All was fine. After you finished fixing the broken step, everything else was a piece of cake. Applejack was mostly just showing you around, and all you really did was pick apples off the ground and put them in baskets.

After awhile, though, you started feeling dizzy.

 "I think I'll sit down for a minute, Applejack."

 She smirked triumphantly. "'Not as hard as I make it sound', huh? Alright, we can take a lunch break."

 You, Applejack, and Big Macintosh sit under the shade of an apple tree.

She throws you an apple. You take a bite of it, but aren't hungry.

 Meanwhile, the two siblings compete to see who can eat the most apples.

After about her fifth apple, Applejack notices you not eating anything.

 "Hey, Sugarcube, aint'cha hungry?"

 You smile weakly. "Nah, not today. I'm kind of thirsty actually."

 She pulls a cup out of her saddlebag, squeezes an apple with her bare hooves, and hands the results to you.

 "It might taste a little different than you're used to, supposin' you've ever had apple juice before, 'cause it's freshly squeezed. Jus' remember not to slobber on the cup, okay? It's the only one ah brought."

 You take a couple sips. It's quite good.

 "Thanks Apple- *BLECH!*"

 Your dizziness rapidly elevates to a headache, as you abruptly spew the contents of your stomach onto the ground beside you.

Namely, your breakfast.

 Big Macintosh stops eating, and Applejack takes a step back.

You try to smile, and make light of this. "Well. I can say with confidence that those definitely tasted better going down than coming back *BLARGH!*"

 "Smelled better, too. Come on, we should get you to the hospital."

 "Why? I just threw up a little. Probably just workin' too hard."

 "All ya did was pick up apples!"

 "...the heat, maybe?"

 "Alright then, if ye're fine, stand up and walk to me."

 You stand up, but are overcome by extreme vertigo and throw up again. You fall back down to a sitting position.

 "Yep. I was worried this might happen. Big Mac, ah'm pretty sure you gave Zach here a concussion."

Big Mac throws up now. Applejack raises an eyebrow.

 "Sorry. When I see other ponies throw up, it makes me want to -hmph!-"

 He suppresses another eruption as Applejack sighs and walks over to Zach.

 "Come on, hang onto my back and get up. Slowly. We're goin' to the hospital."

 "But I don't wanna..."

 "Ye're not thinkin' straight. We go to the hospital now, or you don't get to live in mah barn."

You grumble, not thinking clearly, and stand up. You feel the impulse to puke again, but hold it in when you realize Applejack is right in front of you, and is giving you a stare that could rival Fluttershy's.

Don't think about Fluttershy.

Oh Celestia I can't stop thinking about her.

How she used me...

Dammit why do I feel so sick??

 It was the weirdest thing.  In the space of five minutes, Zach had gone from perfectly normal to completely delusional.

 Well, now that you think about it, it kind of seemed like he had been acting funny earlier in the day. Like how he would keep smacking a nail that was all the way in the wood.

Or how he didn't seem to know what to do when you asked him to pump some water for you.

 You snap out of your musings when Zach starts moaning and grasping at his hair. He stares at you.

"Take me to Fluttershy's."

 What?

 "Now why would ah take you to Fluttershy's?"

 "Because, I need to talk to her."

 "Zach, I'm not taking you to Fluttershy's."

 He starts moaning again, and punches the apple tree that he's been leaning on this whole time. All the apples fall down.

 He could really applebuck for me. When he's sane, that is.

 His mane (if you can call it that) droops down over his face, and he slams his head repeatedly against the trunk of the tree, knocking down leaves and sticks.

 "Okay okay, I'll take you to Fluttershy's cottage," you wink at Big Mac, "but promise to keep your tail covered. We don't want nopony freakin' out."

 "I Pinkie Promise," he says, and proceeds to palm his eye.

Wat.

.

 It's scary how much he's starting to remind you of Pinkie.

U----------

 Rainbow Dash wakes up standing by Twilight Sparkle's house.

 Okay, this is strange.

 At least my headache's gone.

 You try to recall how you got here.

 Let's see. I couldn't open my door, so I jumped out a window. I then walked to the edge of a cloud, and fell off into a puddle of mud. I saw Zach, swiped some bits from a cash register at a restaurant, then came here.

 -Definitely a dream.

 Then why am I in front of Twilight's house?

 -Maybe you sleepwalked here.

 Oh roadapples.

 I should probably talk to Twilight since I'm here. She's an egghead, so she should know about this kind of stuff.

 -Good plan.

 Knock knock!

 You wait a few moments, and Spike answers the door.

 "Hey Rainbow Da- Woah, what happened to you?"

 For the first time since you woke up, you look over yourself. Debris lavishly adorns your coat, and your mane, normally very brightly colored, is dark and encrusted with mud.

 Spike snaps you back to attention. "Uh, you want me to go get Twilight?"

 You quickly nod, and Spike slips back into the library. A few moments later, Twilight appears in the doorway.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash. Long time no see."

 You frown at her. "What do ya mean? It's only been three days. And aren't you wondering why I'm covered in mud?"

 She shakes her head. "Nope, not really."

 You groan. "Nevermind. Twilight, I need some help."

 "With what?"

 You give her a deadpan look. "With whatever got me soaked in mud and ended up at your house!"

 She rubs her chin. "I don't know much about flying, but I think you could use a little work on-"

A deafening roar exits your throat and shakes the very ground beneath you. "WHAT???"

 Twilight's eyes are as wide as dinner plates, and her mane is pointing backwards, as if she's currently on a roller coaster with her hair flowing behind her in jagged points.

 "I- I, uh, thought you were flying and had crashed in the mud or something, and came here for help, eheh heh. I thought it was weird too, considering you crash a lot and don't usually ask -me-, of all ponies, for help, but-"

 "Twilight," you say, rolling your eyes, "I came here because of a different problem. And what do ya mean I crash a lot? I'll have you know I am one of the best fliers in Equestria!"

 Twilight merely swallows a lump in her throat, and says, "Would you like to come inside? After you get washed off, of course?"

 You frown at her, and silently walk over to the side of the tree where the faucet is.