Classic Equestrian Literature
The Moon is dripping.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
A drop falls on my sandwich. I take a bite.
*Ding dong.*
The bell chimes. I put down my sandwich. I look at the sky and I see a firework.
I wave hello. The firework does not wave back.
It is Cleaning Day. We must clean the halls.
“Hello,” she says as we enter the dimly lit schoolhouse.
“Hello, Miss Cheerilee,” I say. She is dressed like a leprechaun.
“Pick up the toothbrush,” she tells me. I break the toothbrush in half and she nods in approval. Tirek will not be happy about this.
The walls are green with slime. I tickle the walls with the toothbrush and they begin to hum a soft melody. The lights flicker.
It is time.
I clap three times and we all join a conga line. I put my hooves on the flank of the pony in front of me. It is Lightning Dust. We are all in this together.
“No more shall the Sun hold sway!” I bellow in rage as the dulcet tones of Filly Eyelash swell around us. “No more shall we find the halls besmirched by the castoffs of the forgotten sponge. Today we find a new path. Today we begin a new journey!”
As one, we tear down the schoolhouse. The Moon drips onto the exposed foundation.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
The Moon cleanses all.
Cheerilee drinks of the Moon spirit and her eyes glow with a searing green light. Her tail rises off the ground as if caught by an invisible hook. Her body lifts into the air, her head pointed downward, her face still as stone, her stare unyielding. “I am the walrus,” she whispers, and her tail pulls her up toward the stars.
As I watch, I can only…
“Let me stop you there for a moment. Um...Sweetie Belle...I don’t mean to be rude, but...what is this?” Cheerilee asked from her desk.
“It’s my story,” Sweetie Belle said. “You said to be creative.” She was standing at the front of the classroom and reading to the class.
“Well, it’s certainly...interesting,” Cheerilee said. “Before you continue, could you explain a bit about what’s going on? The class looks a little...confused.”
Sweetie Belle glanced at the class. A few students did look confused, but others looked as bored as they always did in school, while still others looked annoyed that she had been asked to stop. Pipsqueak shrugged. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom smiled in encouragement, then a mischievous look crossed Scootaloo’s face. She winked and Sweetie Belle cocked her own head in confusion. She turned back toward Cheerilee, who gave a small, forced smile.
“Well, um…” Sweetie Belle started.
“Oh, oh!” Scootaloo said, raising her hoof. Sweetie Belle stopped to let her speak.
“Yes, Scootaloo?” Cheerilee called.
“Maybe you could tell us what you think it’s about?” Scootaloo asked. “After all, you’re always asking us to interpret classic Equestrian literature!”
“Maybe Sweetie Belle’s story will be a classic someday!” Apple Bloom added.
“Yeah, teacher, show us how it’s done!” Snips called.
“Yeah, uh...what he said,” Snails said.
“Hmm...well...alright, um…” Cheerilee said. She looked at Sweetie Belle. “If you don’t mind, I guess I can give it a try?” she asked. “But I don’t want to offend you if I get anything wrong.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that at all,” Sweetie Belle said. “Thank you,” she mouthed to Scootaloo, who winked back again.
“Okay, can I look at the manuscript?” Cheerilee said. “Just to make sure I’ve remembered everything correctly?”
“Sure,” Sweetie Belle said, and she levitated it to Cheerilee’s desk with her magic.
Cheerilee picked up the manuscript and skimmed over it. “Does it take place in a world where Nightmare Moon won?” she asked. “Or perhaps soon after her return when she’s still trying to take over Equestria?”
Sweetie Belle just shrugged.
“Hmm…” Cheerilee said. “Well, the Moon seems important, and of course there’s the line where the point-of-view character says, ‘No more shall the Sun hold sway!’ That character isn’t you, is it? You don’t have something against Princess Celestia, do you?”
“Of course not. Celestia is great!” Sweetie Belle said. “And no, it’s not me. It's a pegasus named Golden Wind."
“Maybe it’s all a metaphor somehow?” Cheerilee said. The character eats a drop of the Moon and then later I ‘drink of the Moon spirit’ and go 'up toward the stars’, which could mean I’m headed toward the Moon. We make the Moon a part of us because...we want to see it more often? We don’t necessarily have anything against Celestia, but we do want more of the night?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged again.
Cheerilee frowned and continued, talking a bit softer as if to herself. “You chose the schoolhouse as a setting. It’s ‘Cleaning Day’ and the school is filled with slime. You tear down the schoolhouse and ‘the Moon cleanses all.’” Speaking a bit louder, she asked, “Do you have a problem with the Equestrian educational system? You think Celestia has too much control over it and you think Luna should get more input? Because I do think she -" She cut herself off with a cough. "Ahem. Is that what it's about?"
"Nope," Sweetie Belle said. "I like school. And you're a great teacher!" The class was getting a bit restless at this point, a few students chattering quietly in the background as they snuck glances at the clock.
“Well, maybe I'm reading too much into it," Cheerilee said. "And then there are these other details. The firework. The leprechaun outfit. The toothbrush. Tirek. The conga line. Lightning Dust. Filly Eyelash. The ‘forgotten sponge.’ ‘I am the walrus.’” She sighed. “I’ll admit, I’m stumped.”
Just then, the bell rang. Cheerilee sighed and hoofed the manuscript back to Sweetie Belle. “Don’t forget about the math test next week!” she called as the students gathered their things. “Make sure to study over the weekend.”
“So what was the story really about?” Apple Bloom asked Sweetie Belle as the Cutie Mark Crusaders joined the crowd of students leaving the school. “The Equestrian educational system or whatever it was Cheerilee said?”
“No, there wasn’t any deeper meaning to it at all,” Sweetie Belle whispered. “I couldn’t decide what to write, so the whole story was just a bunch of random stuff that I jotted down this morning.”
“Ha!” Scootaloo said, and then they passed by Cheerilee as they entered the field outside the school.
“I’m sorry we didn’t have time to finish your story,” Cheerilee said. “It certainly is interesting even if I don't fully understand it, and you will get an ‘A’ for the creativity.”
“It’s alright,” Sweetie Belle said. “And thank you!”
“Could you at least tell me what exactly happened to me at the end of the part that you read? The Cheerilee in the story was me, I assume?” Cheerilee said.
“Oh, that part was inspired by real life,” Sweetie Belle said.
“It was?” Cheerilee said in confusion as her tail rose off the ground as if caught by an invisible hook. “Wait, what’s going o-?” Her face froze and her eyes began to glow with a searing green light.
“She never remembers this, does she?” Scootaloo said.
Cheerilee’s body lifted into the air as her tail continued to rise, her head pointed downward, her face still as stone, her stare unyielding.
“Nope. This is the fifth time this month,” Apple Bloom said. "No idea why it happens."
“I am the walrus,” Cheerilee whispered, and her tail pulled her up toward the stars.
The End
Author's Note
Happy April Fools' Day!
