A deer, a doe, and a dauntless deed.
For Jaako Nöyrasti this morning was just like all the others. He woke up at sunrise, did his morning stretches, and got into the tub his acolytes prepared for him at night.
Though the water was cold, Jaako still felt a sort of disdain that the acolytes troubled themselves so much for his comfort. This was actually a marked improvement from where they began. They used to clean the outhouse every time it was his turn to do it. Jaako may have been the leader of this commune, but he didn’t want any special treatment.
Not that a quick bath in the morning wasn’t great, but with the strict asceticism he demanded from every single deer in the commune, such pampering just didn’t feel right.
He got out, put on his habit and tied his cord, never bothering to dry himself. He was going to dry at the glade anyway so why waste time with such nonsense? He wasn’t even sure, he owned a towel in the first place. Besides it was late august, the temperature might even break double digits. Though this early, that was unlikely.
As he stepped out of his hut, the cold morning air hit him in the face, quickly finding its way through the wrinkles of his loose habit. His still wet skin screamed at the touch of the cold august air, but he knew how to handle it. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, to concentrate solely on his skin. He willed his body to feel the cold, to become one with it. In the cold there was the memory of deer throughout the aeons feeling this very pain.
“Don’t worry about it Jaako, you’re doing the right thing.” He murmured to himself as he closed the door behind himself.
Jaako didn’t bother to look around, the Rule heavily discouraged anyone from speaking before they at least attempted to do their morning meditation. It took a few minutes until he reached the glade, but as always, his heart was filled with happiness to see quite a few of his disciples already there, each silently communing with the spirits.
Jaako took his usual place and the dead centre of the circle. Though it was the traditional – and fairly self-evident place – of the leader to sit at the middle of the place in group meditations it took Jaako a long time to understand what the real reason was behind this arrangement. Though the whole glade was under strict quiet rules, even the rhythmic breathing of their companions could be quite distracting in the morning stillness of the monastery. Of course, the forest would always provide a base level of noise, but being in the crossfire of so many blind gazes, could be distracting for the newer members of the order.
However, decades of experience have more than equipped him to deal with such inconveniences. He just sat down, closed his eyes and started to take deep long breaths focusing how the air flowed through his windpipes, into his lungs gently blowing them up. He felt the pressure in his abdomen as the lungs pushed aside everything under them. At the apex of the breath, he lingered for a moment, and no longer, before he let all his muscles relax and let the air out where it belonged.
He waited a second, letting his muscles enjoy a moment of stillness, before he took his next breath. Once again the air started flow into his nose, bringing the sweet scent of the rain with it.
Rain… the essence of life, coming directly from Ukko to bless and sanctify the lands. So many of his sweetest memories were undergirded by the lively pitter-patter of rain. The faint taps all around sounded as if a gaggle of fairies was timidly trying to sneak up on him. The moment Jaako felt his mouth bending slightly upwards, was the moment the first raindrop decided to land on the tip of his nose. That diabolical ball of moisture was so precise in it’s aim, it almost made him sneeze. It was all so whimsical Jaako decided to open his eyes not to miss a moment from his favourite natural phenomenon.
But where Jaako expected to see his disciples there was nothing but an empty field.
He turned around but there was nothing in sight but grass. He wasn’t an expert but it didn’t seem like it was even from the area. The grass was too green and tall. It was from way down in the south, probably somewhere on the peninsulas. And it was so flat too. Jaako haven’t been this far from the horizon since he left Hjortland.
Maybe he wasn’t even in Olenia? He heard stories about the endless lush plains of Equestria in his youth…
Jaako looked up to see where the sun was to at least know which way is which. But Ukko’s rain-clouds were thick and grey that day. When he looked down there was a bush in front of him. It was odd though, how everything around it was so lush while this one bush was brown and dead. It didn't have a single leaf
He stepped closer to get a better look and suddenly Ukko blew the floodgates of heaven wide open. It didn't rain, it flowed. As if the sky had turned into one giant shower head. Jaako’s has never seen anything like it.
With his sight reduced to next to nothing, Jaako desperately tried to look for anything that makes sense of this whole situation. He noticed the bush, it looked like it started to melt. Just brown smudge flowing down on its branches. But as he was looking at it, it became obvious the bush was not melting. There was an outer layer of some strange paint getting washed away. And under it the bush was… blue? Jaako couldn’t believe his eyes. He thought about rubbing them but quickly realised it was a pointless act given how soaked his fur was everywhere.
The bush started to change again, it started to sprout leaves as if the rainfall somehow had raised it from its hibernation. It also started to shine with an unearthly hew, though there was hardly any light around.
Or so he thought.
On the horizon, or at least where the horizon should have been had he seen anything from the rain, there was a distinct line of orange. First it was but a thin line but quickly it grew thicker and thicker. Jaako glanced around and realised it was all around him. And it was coming.
It took him another few second until he realised the line was not solid, it pulsed and faded but most of all it grew. A few more second and he realised what it was: Fire. A ring of fire closing in on him and this dastardly bush.
“Jaako” He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Like a snake Jaako snagged the appendage out of sheer panic, and yanked it as hard as he could. He jumped up and saw his first disciple Teemu headfirst in the dirt. The very dry dirt. He looked up and saw that not only the rain stopped the sky was clear. As he confusedly looked around he saw the other disciples, having been disturbed by his ruckus, gawking at him with utter disbelief.
“Sorry everyone…” Jaako scratched his nape in his embarrassment. “I guess I got a bit spooked by Teemu over here. But don’t worry, I’m fine, you can go back to your meditation." Catching himself sputtering, he forced himself to stop take a breath and address his disciples a bit more thoughtfully. "Or if you think you can’t, feel free to skip it today, I know I messed it up for you.” He looked at Teemu and told him. “I’m sorry, but let’s talk anywhere else.”
His friend nodded grabbed Jaako’s hoof extending towards him and stood up. They left the glade and headed back to the village. When Jaako felt they are far enough away from the others, he spoke up. “So either something is very wrong, or there is newcomer at the gates.” He said knowing those were the only two reasons Teemu would ever disturb his meditation.
Teemu nodded “Luckily the latter. A young doe, she said she would like to join us here.” He hesistated a moment before continuing “But what about you Jaako, I haven’t seen you this lost since…” Teemu didn’t say but he was obviously referred to an incident about five years ago when he also caught him mid vision. Which was unlikely enough given this was his third vision in his life, but such were the ways of Ukko. Denying it would be foolish as well as useless.
“Yes you’re absolutely correct. I had a vision. It was... weird I can’t really make heads or tails of it.” Jaako shook his head trying to clear his mind.
“You want me to take care of the newcomer so you have a chance at contemplation?”
Jaako pondered on it for second, it was completely reasonable proposition, but there was something that didn’t sit well with him about that idea.
“It’s fine Teemu, I’ll think about it later. It’s unlikely I’m going to forget it anytime soon.” Jaako said with a ironic smile. “And you know how much I hate not to greet everone myself when they first come here.” The moment he finished the sentence Jaako knew he messed up. Teemu obviously knew Jaako's ways, so he understood what this last sentence truly was. An admission of confusion. Meaning this won’t be the last time Jaako will hear about this.
“Be it your way, Jaako.” The ever dutiful Teemu gave him a nod and went on to do his job.
“Well, at least this day has plenty of room for improvement.” Jaako murmured. He glanced up to the sky, wondering if his efforts even worth anything in the big picture. Convincing himself for the millionth time that it’s not worth worrying about, he turned toward the gates to meet this newcomer.
It wasn’t long until Jaako spotted the little deer at the gates. He liked to choose an angle of approach where he couldn’t have been seen, but he had a clear view of the newcomer. She seemed rather peculiar. The way she handled herself, how she was lazily glancing around with no particular direction in her movements, was rather uncharacteristic compared to the usual behaviour of the deer that end up in these parts.
More often than not, deer who want to join his village have a hole in their soul they don’t know how to fill. Sometimes because they are laydeer wanting to find a solace in their gods. Or because they are disillusioned members of the Goðar, who want to leave behind the “idiosyncrasies” of Jurva and the church.
The common factor in both groups was, that they knew what they didn’t want, but neither really knew what they did want. Deer like that were almost always nervously gawking at the fence – or anywhere but – because they know whatever comes through that gate will change their lives, but they don’t know how.
This one was different. She seemed she absolutely had a plan, but right now she was temporarily halted from achieving it, which made her plain bored. Luckily, there was an easy way for Jaako to test his theory. He just took a step off from his path and purposely stepped on a branch, making a distinct crack sound that would easily get the attention of anyone in the area.
The doe immediately looked up, glanced in his direction, and though it took her a second or two to pinpoint his position among the trees, she found him. Immediately the air of absolute certainty around her vanished. Within her eyes now there was doubt, and timidity. She turned her nose down, forcing herself to look even more up if she wanted to look at Jaako.
“I’m sorry Tietäjä… I didn’t notice you” The little doe stuttered. Jaako took note the fact that the doe spoke New-Olenian, which more than likely meant she was from the south. A long journey for such a small deer.
“Do not worry child, you did nothing wrong” Jaako said in deep and welcoming voice. Having lived in the south for most of his life he spoke the doe’s tongue quite well. “May I ask for your name?”
“Of course Tietäjä, my name is Viira.” She answered timidly.
Coming closer he saw just how young the doe was. Jaako wouldn’t have put her a day over twenty. Despite this the ease of which she switched from disinterested to terrified was astounding. She was either a professional actor, or someone who had to meet a lot of behavioural norms. Most likely a noble, or at least a house servant of a noble. The kind whose family served the same house for generations.
Jaako always found these deer utterly fascinating. They could honestly lie. Their whole behaviour had so artificial since they were born, there was an unintentional element of deceit even in their honesty.
“Viira? What a beautiful name!” Jaako said with a wide smile on his face. “I used to know a doe named Viira, she was the cookiest little thing. A charming soul, really. Too bad everything she tried her hooves at blew up in her face. I wonder what she could be doing these days.” Jaako stopped himself before he started to talk too much “Forgive me for my blabbering. Come on in, the gates are never closed.”
The timid little doe, was a bit startled she had to open those rather large gates for herself, but Jaako couldn’t help her. It was one of the teachings of Odo, that no one could walk someone else through the path towards enlightenment, one can merely show them door.
Sometimes it leads them to cutting that door down, and burn them in atavistic rituals in the pursuit of lust and power, but then again, no deer could save everyone.
“So Viira, how did you end up here? It’s an odd place for a doe like you.” Jaako asked as they started to walk towards the village.
“Tietäjä, I don’t like to speak about it.” She muttered, hanging her head down low.
“On your own time Viira. We don’t judge deer for their past here, therefore we don’t have to know. But don’t mind the others for asking, all they want is to help.” She was a quiet one. That’s for certain, but Jaako wasn’t sure, if she was the kind who enjoyed listening, or she preferred quiet company, if any. No matter, there were a few questions they had to go through regardless. “How much do you know about our little community? What made you visit us?”
She looked to be in a state of abject shame for being here. She had to force each word out.“I didn’t care for the sort of… profligacies my family was engaged in… What I was engaged in. I was hoping I could turn a new leaf here.”
“And how do you presume to do that?”
“I don’t know…” She looked down to hider her tears. “I thought I could maybe… I’m sorry Tietäjä, I’m just wasting your time.” She turned around and hastily headed for the exit.
“Viira, stop.” Jaako told her sternly. He walked over and gently scooped up Viira’s head. “You walked fifty miles from the nearest town through a dangerous forest to get here. You clearly wanted to get here, and you deserve at least a night here before you decide what you want to do next. You can put your bags down, and take a breather. I can show you our life, how we work and how we pray. If you think it would suit you, you can stay with us longer. If not, you’ll still get food and shelter and tomorrow one of our trackers will escort you back to Trädvägg.”
“Thank you Tietäjä!” Viira cried out in relief, both her eyes full of tears. Jaako embraced the little doe letting her wipe her tears away at his chest”
Jaako knew there was something wrong with this poor thing. It might not have been what she said was wrong with her, but she needed help. Thus she would get it. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“You’ve never worked a field before right?” Jaako said quietly reminiscing how hopeless the little doe looked on the field. She reminded him of himself when he first picked up a hoe.
“No, my family only sold grain never grew it.” she admitted
“It can be a bit harsh on you first, but I always like to bring the new postulants out here. A good way to gauge who wants to do this in the long run and who’s going to quit the first time they get a chance to. As a postulant you will do a lot of chores like these anyway, because everyone need to know the basics about farming. There are years when we can’t spare a single quartet of hooves out here. But other than that, there is a lot of other work around the village. If your family were traders, you’re good with numbers right?.
“I’m decent.”
“That nice, I think Keke could use some help with bookkeeping.” Jaako noticed something dangerous going on at the blacksmith’s shop. “Speaking of help I have to go now.” Jaako said as he paced over to the blacksmith struggling with a crucible, silently grabbed one of the handles and helped the smith pour the metal into a mould.
“Thanks Jaako, but I got it.” The blacksmith said trying to hide his heavy breathing.
“Jari how many times do I have to ask you not to use this crucible alone.”
“I told you I can handle it.”
“Sami told me he couldn’t”
“Sami was seventy years old.”
“And you are sixty five.” Jaako shook his head “All I ask is to have Gottlieb help you with this. Where is he anyway?”
“In the back sharpening the scythes.” He pointed at the door behind himself
“Look Jari I just want you to be safe.” Jaako looked away as if there was some easy solution there. “You know what, I’ll ask Simo if he can whip up some lever contraption so you can do it alone. Until then please ask someone for help. Is that alright?”
“Fine Jaako.” Jari sighed. “You worry too much.”
“If I didn’t even worry what would you keep me around for?” They shared a hearty chortle with the blacksmith then Jaako walked back to Viira. For a change she looked like she wanted to speak.
“Gottlieb? It sounds like a Griffish name”
“Would be strange otherwise, seeing how the lad’s Griffon.” Jaako shrugged
“A Griffon? Here?” Viira asked with saucer sized eyes
“Well he was hatched and raised in Olennia but yes, it is strange. Ukko works in mysterious ways.”
“I reckon.” Viira fell silent immersing deep into her thoughts. ”May I ask you something Tietäjä?”
“Of course Viira.”
“Why did you found this place”
“That’s a long story.”
“Oh sorry Tietäjä I overstepped.” Viira said with her ears stooping down immediately “Forgive me.”
Jaako had the distinct feeling, this was the first time Viira said those last two words. She is a good actress, but now she overplayed her hooves. There was something in there, and to find it, he would have to give something to her she wanted.
“Don’t worry Viira. It’s fine. It isn’t a secret.” Jaako took a big breath. “But it’s not easy to explain. Maybe I should give you an example. Do you know what is Ukko the God of?”
“War and thunder” Viira answered without thinking.
“No he is not” he said calmly. “If you read the Book of Storms, the original version, every time he is called the God of “elämä ja kuolema” literally the god of life and death. Sometimes he is called a Lord, or once even the aspect, but it’s always “life and death” not war. There is actually some evidence the word war, is much younger than the Book of Storms, so some think our ancestors used this expression for war, hence the confusion, but regardless it’s not the same.
“But if they used the same word Tietäjä, how could you know they meant what you mean?”
“I can’t. And I don’t” Jaako smiled. This was a refreshingly clever question. “But if he was just the God of War, why would he have given us this land live on and rules to live by? That being said I don’t think it’s a matter of one or the other. I believe Ukko is the keeper of balance. In peace time you follow his rules to enrich yourself and your brethren. In war he ensures the balance is restored as soon as possible.
“Riddle me this Viira, if Ukko is the true God of war, how come our warriors have ever lost a war? I think because he doesn’t care about war. He seeks to maintain the balance of life and death. That is all.”
“So, how did it change?” Viira asked.
Jaako looked at the ground gathering his thoughts. He knew he had to tread carefully if he didn’t want to tell things, he’s been keeping for himself for 30 years.
“Honestly it’s been a long process. Jurva has certainly expedited it, but he is hardly the originator. If anything, he is but the incarnation of a demon that’s been festering in every deer’s soul for way too long. I reckon it’s always been there. Which is why the gods have given us the holy scriptures. But our pride, our ever swelling pride just kept bending the rules…” Jaako hesitated how to continue
“Until they broke?” Viira asked helpfully
“No they never have. That’s the insidious part. If you listened to Jurva, or one of his sycophants they could derive all their insanity, from the most sacred of texts, and the holiest of tradtions. Believe me I’ve tried. But here we stand, on a moral framework so distorted it could never support our life, let alone the debauch we all seem to be enjoying. Some day Viira, in one way or another, the bill will come due.”
At his last sentence Jaako noticed a strange flicker in Viira’s eyes. It was pain, genuine pain. He wondered what debt could be weighing on her heart so heavily.
“But why would they do that?” Viira asked once she realised it’s finally her turn to talk.
The naïveté of the question made him laugh. A dry joyless laugh. “Because it makes more money. You can’t sell protective jujus and lucky charms when you’re representing a God who stands for restraint and a balanced outlook on life.”
Jaako would liked to have bury his face in his hooves and cry. But he had to stand stong, for Viira, and everyone in this village. Ukko knows he had nothing else to stay strong for.
“That’s one of the many brilliance of Jurva.” Jaako said quietly “He took the faith of the deer, he sworn to serve, distilled it into something putrid, portioned meticulously, and now sells it by the bottle to numb out the pain till they all croak.” Jaako’s heart was flooded with a familiar anger. “And still, he gets to claim he is serving them.”
The duality of Jurva was beyond shocking. When they studied together, their master called him the greatest student of Ukko. Indeed he was. No one else could have twist Ukko's teachings into their polar opposite like him. Even now, Jaako felt, despite his best efforts, Jurva could more accurately follow the opposite of Ukko, than he could follow the real one. Jurva was the perfect purveyor of imbalance. In his darker moments he couldn't help but wonder, was there an even higher order of equilibrium between balance and imbalance themselves?
“I know what you’re talking about Tietäjä.” Viira’s words hit him like a lightning bolt. “The same thing happened to me. My father is a good deer... Or at least he used to be. But after my mother died, he changed. He started to go to Church a lot. Silently his faith has always been strong, but after that, it changed. He started to go these ‘meetings’. They weren’t masses. And then he started to invite all those seers to our house to hold these… seances. And they brought those does, some younger than I, for who knows what. All in the name of purification. I couldn’t… I couldn’t just stand and watch. I had to do something… otherwise they would have gotten me eventually.”
“Psst my fawn." Jaako said as he stroked the little doe's head "You’re safe now.”
Despite him being the servant of Ukko, Jaako heard stories before what sort of depravities the servants of Pellervo were committing recently. This however marked the first time he heard one that was completely made up. Not a word of what the little doe said was true. Jaako felt it.
“Don’t worry young one. Ukko will guide our paths. When I left the monastery, I didn’t have anything apart what fit in a travelling backpack. A spare Habit, a copy of the original rule of my Order and food not even enough for a week. I’ve been provided with everything since.”
“Thank you Tietäjä.”
For the second time that day Jaako had the small doe slobbering all over his coat. Normally that would have been quite endearing, but Jaako had not intention to just soak up the tears of a doe who had no real intention to cry them in the first place. Fortunately, it was almost midday now, giving Jaako the perfect opportunity to wash them off.
“There, there, young one. There is no need to be ashamed of your tears. I tell you what, why don’t you join us in our mid-day rituals.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea Tietäjä” Viira asked quietly.
“There are no certainties in life young one. But I would like you to be there. What’s more I would like you to help me with the ceremony.”
“What but I can’t… I don’t even know the sacred words.”
“Do you speak the old tongue?”
“Not really. I can understand it, but I never really used it.”
Another obvious lie, but Jaako didn’t let himself be bothered by it. They both realised he had her on the ropes. He knew that if he presses just a little bit harder, the doe’s resistance brakes. Or her act of the little “doe-eyed doe” would.
“Don’t fret little one, you basically just have to hand me the items in the order I call them out. The altar will be set by the time we get there.
“If you think it’s for the best Tietäjä” she said timidly.
Jaako and Viira were thoroughly washed by the accolytes in preparation for the ritual, and went over to the edge of most sacred site of the village: the Grove. There they stood waiting for the signal to start the ceremony.
It was a small patch of land populated sparsely with trees. In the middle of the grove there was a small twenty-meter-wide lake. Its water was so clean, one could easily see the bottom from anywhere. It was shallow enough for any adult deer to walk in it without problems.
In the middle of the lake there was stump of a huge tree. It was completely straight and smooth, definitely not broken by wind or lightning. But no one had any idea, who could have had the equipment, or the knowledge to cut down a tree so large, so long ago, that there was no visible trace left of it. It was a miracle if Jaako ever saw one. A more fitting altar for Ukko than all the craven monstrosities in the Eternal Cathedral.
Apart from his disciples sitting in front of the lake, and the holy relics on the altar, this place looked exactly like it did in his vision all so many years ago.
“Are we going to go in the lake” Viira asked with quiet dread in her voice.
“Yes, that’s why we needed to be washed.”
“I don’t like to be washed. Or standing in freezing water.” She pouted.
“Me neither, but it’s part for the course" He answered calmly. "We can’t let the purity of the lake be defiled.”
“We could have washed ourselves.”
“I do not doubt that. But someone from the outside has clearer view.” Jaako just finished his sentence when the overture of the windpipes signalled the start of the ceremony.
They walked over to the lake ceremoniously. Jaako noticed the practiced grace of the steps of Viira. It showed neither fear or hesitation. As they reached the edge of the lake Jaako stopped, as it was customary that the acolyte takes its place first, and by so doing signal that everything is ready for the ceremony.
Viira hesitated for moment, she looked up almost as if she was looking at the sky, but Jaako felt she was checking something different. As she went into the lake it became clear just how short the doe really was, while the water usually barely reaches the belly of Jaako, it easily went up to the top of her back.
Jaako silently thanked whoever bathed Viira, because they told her she was supposed to go around the altar and stand behind it. That’s just about the only thing one could muck about this service. When she walked up to the altar Jaako realised the stump was at the same height as the top or her head. By the time she took her place the only thing which was visible of her, was her antlers.
A pair of antlers walking without a head. It almost looked comical.
It almost looked like… a Bush.
A Dead. Brown. Bush.
Realisation hit him like a truck.
Jaako looked up at the sky checking if there were any clouds over them but the sky was as blue as a sapphire. He suspected this much, there was plenty of water all around, no need to add more. Still looking up, he silently murmured: “Ukko, I have followed, you for all my life, and I will, forevermore, but are you sure about this?”
Getting no answer, he stepped into the lake. He moved towards the altar and silently contemplated on his next move. If Ukko decided that this doe is to be purified, like a postulant who earned their permanent place in their village, then she will be purified. There is no reason to make either of them wait.
“Little one, come here please” Jaako said calmly.
He waited until the Viira moved to his side and turned to the others. He already hated what he was going to do. He turned toward the others on the shore and in loud commanding voice, he started to talk on the old tongue.
“My brothers and sisters, we came here to celebrate Ukko and all his gifts. But today also have new presence in our circle” he pointed at Viira. “In accordance with Ukko’s will I’ll now purify her from all her past sins and lies” he said, and before she could react he grabbed her head and dunked it under water.
He ignored the stunned gasps from the disciples and focused al his attention on the little doe now struggling for her life.
“Come on Ukko, COME ON! Show me what you want” he hissed quietly. The seconds slowly crawled by as he felt the little doe helplessly writhe under his hooves. He looked for something, anything, to learn what his god wanted him to do.
After a few seconds the contour of Viira’s antlers became blurry and brown cloud slowly started to ascend from her antlers to the surface. Though the rising cloud quickly covered most of Viira’s head, Jaako just noticed the faintest glimmer of blue under it.
He suddenly realised whose life he was holding in his hoof.
Jacko’s head snapped in the direction of the disciples and shouted: “Everyone! Out! Now! Leave the Grove and don’t come back unless I give you permission.”
Jaako’s words caused a few seconds of confusion, but his disciples knew the Rule well, so soon enough they all turned around and started to leave.
“Faster!” He shouted at the one last time, noticing how the doe’s wriggling started to weaken. He positioned himself between the doe and the deer leaving, pulled the doe to the surface making sure she can finally breathe and lugged her out of the water.
Though technically there was some chance the last deer still hadn't left the Grove, Jaako didn’t bother to check. They all knew what happens with those who look back.
He pulled the frail doe on the shore and tried to come to terms with what he had done. If nothing else she seemed to be breathing. This was a relief given that the best he could have done to alleviate her airways is a firm hit on her back.
Silently, he looked the now spotless bright blue antlers and pondered how much trouble this little doe will bring to his village.
Queen Velvet of Jelzek, the rightful queen of all deer on Equus.
Velvet slowly started to move, groggily she looked up and around, until she noticed Jaako. She quickly touched her antlers, but she already knew. For a second laid back on the sand and gathered herself. Then she stood up shook most of the water of her body and said to herself.
"So much for this paint being waterproof" she said with more annoyance than shame in her words.
"In all honesty your majesty, it probably was." Jaako said with a confident smile but Velvet elected to ignore it.
“Tietäjä," The queen looked up at him. "how long since you knew?”
“Approximately 20 seconds.”
“No" she said very strictly. "Your monks are pretty stone faced, but I saw they were confused when you suddenly declared, that you had to submerge me. So despite your effort to sell it as part of the standard procedure, it wasn’t.”
“Well, yes I wasn’t exactly following protocol. And yes, I knew you to not be the one you said you were. That still left every other doe in the land as a possibility.”
“You forgot about the changelings.”
Though it had been a long time since he'd left the capitol, Jaako could still speak politician fairly fluently. And this was just a very roundabout enquiry whether he could see through a changeling’s illusions. Something many had been theorising about him. But until she was willing to tell him what she wanted to do with that information Jaako saw no reason to confirm the rumours. Or deny them.
“Some of us have fewer reasons to be suspicious than you, your majesty.”
“Then why is this whole fuss? Who did you think I was, Tietäjä?”
“Someone holding back the truth, yet looking for answers.”
“Are those mutually exclusive?”
The way she continued without losing a beat, told Jaako she understood that if she were to get a straighter answer out of him, she would need to provide something in return. He didn’t knew if she could guess what it was, but nonetheless, it was impressive.
“Quite the contrary, they are bound together, in a cycle of futility. For finding the great answers of life, or what little we can bear of them, is only possible in the light of a true spirit, not in the darkness of deceit.”
She shook her head with a doubtful little grunt escaping her throat. “The day I stop keeping secrets, is the day I sign the death sentence of every single doe and stag in the country.” She looked at the pond watching the brown patch swirl around lazily. “Tricks, lies, deceit, they often collapse into themselves, but the truth? That’s the one that brings everything down with it.” She sighed. “Speaking of which, can we go somewhere where it’s a bit harder to listen to our conversation? I don’t like open spaces when I’m talking about important matters.
“We can go back to my hut.” Jaako offered dutifully.
“Yes, but then everyone would see these” Velvet shot a meaningful glance at her antlers.
“Unless I tell them not to look. In which case they won’t.”
“Really? What about the blacksmith?”
“For the sake of our country I sincerely hope you know what the difference between asking and telling is.”
Velvet snickered. “I wish I was this sure about my supposedly absolute authority” she said with an intrigued look on her face.
“I could do without it.”
“Then why did you codify it in your Rule?”
“I never said I did.” said Jaako raising his eyebrows
“Yes, but you spoke about it as if you couldn’t absolve yourself from your absolute authority. Which is rather oxymoronic. Unless, there is something that supersedes even your authority. And the only thing that could be is the Rule."
Jaako was honestly taken aback by the effortlessly quick logic of the young queen. The way she could spot that one grain of wheat, in a heap of chow, was unlike anything he had ever seen.
“Clever. But not completely correct. They are not my rules. Their wisdom is far beyond of my understanding. That also means that at best I have faint ideas why they are the way they are.”
“Understood" She nodded "Now tell me why they are the way they are.”
Jaako let out a healthy bout of laughter. This small doe hardly wore the crown for a few months, but she was the most regal person he has ever met. Some may have found her no-nonsense attitude aggravating, but to him it was refreshing not to be agreed on everything.
“Unlike yours, my authority does not come from my bloodline. Or from the will of the voters. No, mine comes from Ukko. By nature it cannot be anything less than absolute. Not that it’s good for anything. I can’t supervise everyone, and I’m only in charge of 195 deer. They will do what they will do and I can only hope it’s the right thing. On the other hoof I could do without the responsibility, because absolute power begets absolute responsibility."
“No it doesn’t. If it did Johan would have drowned on his own blood on the night he laid his head on my Father’s bed” she said with seething anger. “But even with me trying my best, I know that when I make a mistake, it’s not me who’s going to suffer the most. Besides, absolute responsibility would dictate that when someone goes against the rules you would be punished alongside them. And I doubt that would happen.”
“You’re right. Because they don’t get punished. Only I. Now if you excuse me your majesty, I have a path to clear for us.” Realising this is as good of an opportunity as any move along this whole debacle he left the gaping Queen alone with her thoughts.
“Teemu please come here.”
“Jaako, is there a problem with the new doe?”
“No, she is fine.” Jaako saw Teemu had trouble believing his words. He didn’t blame him, but now was not the time to address his concerns “But I’m going to have to discuss some things with her further in my own hut. However we have to make sure no one sees her when she comes over to my hut.”
“I don’t understand Jaako, why are you hiding her?”
“Because she asked me, and I felt her request was justified.” Jaako said, telling no lies while speaking no truth. “So can I trust you with it? Because I have to go back to the Grove to escort her to my hut.”
“Of course Jaako, consider it done.”
Jaako went back to the Grove and informed Queen Velvet that he is ready to receive her. They walked back to his hut and just like Jaako promised, there was no deer to be seen anywhere in the area. He wasn’t sure where Teemu brought them, but as always, his second in command did an impeccable job.
They entered the hut, and they both sat down at his desk. Jaako pondered whether to offer his own seat to Velvet but before he could decide the young queen already took the guest seat. Though it couldn’t have taken more than few seconds for Jaako to sit down in his own seat, the eagle eyed queen already took a quick measure of everything in the room. Including his little wooden name plaquette made by Jari for his last birthday.
“Is that your real name Tietäjä?”
This was a question he loathed.
Seers in the olden days traditionally used to choose new names for themselves. By the time he joined the order this tradition mostly died out, when he founded this village, he felt it wasn't the time to reinstate it. And now, not having done it himself, it felt wrong to ask the others. It served as a constant reminder how the rich tradition of the seers, was slowly dying out because of his inadequacies.
But he was asked a question and he had to answer.
“If it is the way deer choose to call me, it is my name.”
“It just seems convenient given what it means.”
“A scholar of the old language? A rare find in a deer of your stature.”
“I certainly couldn’t have learnt it at the court. Not the Olenian one anyway.”
“At Equestria?" asked Jaako with mild surprise "I wonder what the arbiter of light thought you’d gain by learning about your ancient heritage.”
“Heritage? No, it is my birthright, just like it is the birthright of every Deer. Many throughout the land still speak this tongue, and I want to speak with every one of my subjects. For I am their servant in my duty.”
“It is still strange how your father, and his father, and most of all your mother were all outspoken patrons of the new language, yet not only you’re fluent in the old tongue, you claim to have learnt it from the one they sought to emulate by pursuing the new one.”
“The new language is my native language. It is the one I dream with, the one my thoughts take the shape of. Its tools are my power, and its constraints are my limitations. For what it supposed to do, bringing Deer and Ponies closer together, it’s perfectly capable. And yet…”
“Take your time my child. It’s better to speak a few words of truth than a soliloquy of nothingness.”
“Thank you. I just don’t want to sound disrespectful. Mother and Father for what little I know of them were great deer. They had immense knowledge of harmony, more than I have, that’s for sure… Yet, having been raised at Canterlot by Princess Celestia, I feel they lacked something, something to really be successful at conveying this message to the common deer.”
“Wisdom?” Jaako chimed in.
“Not quite.” She answered hesitantly. “I would say… Insight. Knowledge without insight is but hubris. And what is hubris if not the zealotry of the lazy? To their demise, my parents were the farthest thing from lazy. They wanted to apply their knowledge as best they could.” She sighed. “The rest, as they say, is history. Zealotry begot zealotry, and those zealots, lead by the devil himself, soaked their daggers in my parents’ blood.”
“Intriguing insight your majesty. It takes real moral character to admit that our loved ones are just as fallible as everyone else.”
“I just don’t want to share their fate. Or my “brother’s” for that matter.”
“Oh really, what happened with him? I’m afraid my connection with the outside world has been… spotty ever since I’ve settled here.”
“Hung by the neck.”
“Hanging? Unbecoming of a noble.”
“And very much becoming of insolent usurper. Don’t get me wrong Tietäjä, such as he was, it was still a… haunting experience to watch him wiggle and writhe on the rope, but what other choice did I have?”
“Beheading is the traditional way to execute someone of noble birth. Not sure why anyone would need such an excuse to practice mercy, but since it was there, you may as well have taken it.”
“Doing that would have been admittance of his nobility, and his only claim to that, hung on the illegitimacy of my claim to the throne.”
Jaako shook his head in disbelief. “Politics… as if I needed a reminder why I left the capital all those years ago.”
“Yes Tietäjä, believe me, I get it. Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother? Why don’t I just come here and join your village? Or go home to Equestria?”
“Is that your home?”
Velvet looked up on the ceiling with a blissful smile. “Some nights I dare to dream it is.” Her smile souring in an instant, she looked back on Jaako. “But most of the time I have the strength not to drink before bed.”
“Witty.” Jaako deadpanned “But as much as I’m thankful for the work, you’ve done today, now that you admitted that you have no intention of joining our community, I must ask you to leave. You can spend the night if you wish, or I can provide you with a pair of my trackers who can guarantee your safe travel to Trädvägg. As for your antlers, don’t worry, I’ll take care of them”
“I will leave Tietäjä, I’ve probably spent too much time here already. But before that, I would like you to have something.”
“And what would that be my child?"
Velvet picked up her bag, and pulled out a scroll and handed it to Jaako. “This. A royal summon, to the Violet court of Hjortland, officially requesting your service as the Hovin tietäjä.”
That sentence sounded so absurd Jaako had to double check the letter to see if it actually bore the royal seal. “Resurrecting the office of the court seer? I don’t think it has been filled in the last 3 centuries. It’s a risky business you’re playing my Queen.”
“Technically the Allsherjargoði is the permanent court seer, unless the sovereign specifically appoints someone else. There is actually a juxtaposition in the laws, and those are usually resolved to the liking of the party with the most power. Which is why this thing is not risky at all! The concept of risk evaluates the probability of the different consequences of any single action in relation to their respective level of danger.
“But this?” She held up the scroll. “This means war, plain and simple. There are no different outcomes to evaluate.”
Jaako couldn’t argue with that. The court seer had always been a contentious position. In fact it was designed that way. The Allsherjargoði, the head of the church, was selected by the members of the Goðar since time immemorial. But there were times, when the tensions between the church and the court rose so high, the sovereign decided to put another person on top of the church.
Of course without being part of the Goðar, rulers couldn’t directly influence the election of the Allsherjargoði. However, they could reassign a good portion of the church’s resources because they were the ones providing them. Hence the very obvious solution, create a position that was awarded by the king and was tied to said resources.
Whenever these two position, were not in the same hooves… That was not usually an imbalance Ukko tended to tolerate for long.
Jaako looked over the short queens head, through his window, deep in his thoughts. What Velvet asked was impossible. Facing Jurva after so many years... and the lies they forged together. Even if against all odds he somehow ended up winning, what would be left of him, once the truth gets exposed?
He glanced back at Velvet's hopeful face before he returned watching the scenery. So young and eager to march into battle. But were they ready to see it through?
“What of that which comes as a consequence of a war your majesty?”
“I can’t see that far into the future Tietäjä.” Velvet said with his forelegs wide open “Maybe a good seer could help! Do you happen to know any of those?”
“And what if I refuse?” he asked, looking back on Velvet.
“I would very much like you not to do that. It’s not a situation where I have a plan B I must admit.” If nothing else Velvet knew better than to try to force his hooves. Not that it changed anything.
"I don’t think I can do this.” Jaako shook his head. “There is a reason I've left behind everything, that reason hasn’t changed.”
Velvet put the scroll down.“I don’t think you understand Tietäjä, you are needed exactly because of the reasons you left. Jurva is still a two-faced lying grub of a changeling. And his influence is poisoning the hearts of my Deer as we speak. He has no regard for anyone other than himself, and he dons the sacred gowns of the Allsherjargoði as some pelt of a beast he forced to submit to him.
“I will do everything to save my deer from the coming storm, but what am I supposed to do when their shepherds chosen by the Gods themselves are luring them into a slaughterhouse?”
Hard questions. Not as hard as Jaako's own towards himself, but truthful all the same. Yet, in a way, also unavoidably ignorant. Jaako wished to keep her questions that way.
“Your majesty. I can’t. Jurva is… he was my friend. We studied under the same teacher, the great seer Odo. And he is a good deer.” Jaako sighed. “Or at least he used to be.” There was a certain macabre satisfaction in using the very idiom "Viira" used when she described her life. They were both untruthful
“Your friend is dead Tietäjä, and whatever took his place must be removed.”
“Your majesty, you don’t understand.” Jaako heard his voice was getting desperate but he couldn't help it. "He was no different from me. If anything, he was better. I don’t know what turned him into the monster he became, but it wasn’t in him when I knew him. I’m sure of that. Whatever it was, it’s still there in Hjortland. It will reach me, it will tempt me, and I don’t know how am I supposed to resist it if he couldn’t."
“Oh come on. You’re nothing like him. You judged someone incorrectly when you were both young. It happens with everyone.”
“If you think I could misjudge Jurva so completely, then what good are my services truly are?” Jaako asked with a wry smile.
“Allright" Velvet conceded with theatrical sigh. "Maybe you’re right. Maybe you suck. Maybe there is even some invisible miasma festering within the halls of the Eternal Cathedral. You are still the best I’ve seen for this job. And the work that has to be done is not going to go away just because you also happen to be a bitch." Velvet seemed truly desperate, but she still knew what buttons to push "I’m not going to claim I understand this philosophy of yours, but it works. I’ve seen it. In your hooves religion does what it’s supposed to. It inspires deer to strive for the better. It gives hope. Jurva can only take from everyone."
Jaako buried his head in his hooves. There was nowhere else to run. It was fitting that the second person who would learn his secret, is the only other one with the power to judge him.
“He gave me something” he said quietly.
“What?”
“Jurva. He gave me this.” Jaako said gesturing all around himself.
“The village? Did you use church money to fund it?”
“No.” Jaako said with a sad smile “The walls could be burnt down. Jurva’s claws are much deeper in this place."
Jaako looked down at the table, the hardwood felt like a less judgemental listener. “Your majesty has to understand that everything I’ve told you about Ukko, and the balance of our existence is not my idea. Not Odo’s, and while I want to believe they are the true teachings of the ancient texts, there hasn’t been a single deer who could lay them out in a coherent manner. No one except Jurva. You think my philosophy is impressive? You’ve just been fed another one of Jurva’s tales.
He looked up at Velvet with tears of shame and desperation in his eyes.
“Whatever you saw around here that you found so marvellous is all Jurva. Everything I am is Jurva. I don't even have the right to call him evil. The very framework of my morality by which I could judge him, were devised by him. Are you seriously thinking I’m the right person to take him on?”
Jaako looked away as he picked up the scroll and handed it back to Velvet. He couldn't bare to take a single glance at either of them.
“Take it. Take it to any deer who is loyal to you. Take a laydeer, take a family member, if you still have any. Even if you don’t, their corpse would do a better job than me if you gave them this.”
A few moments passed but the scroll was still in his hoof so he put it back on the table.
“What does a Seer do Tietäjä?”
“I would like to hear what you think I do, your Majesty.” Jaako snorted.
“A Seer serves, Tietäjä.”
“Your Majesty…" he shook his head. "Don’t even start with that. I’ve had many moons to think of a way I can serve while I’m running away from my demons. Which is why I've come here. I serve every day, and I plan to serve here every day until the day I go back to Ukko. It might not be the most good I could do, but it is good and I’ve learnt no to ask for more.”
“Yes… I presume no one can. However from my perspective, you are doing the worst you could do. Though to be honest most of your options are tied for first as the worst thing you could do, so I’m not blaming you.”
“How so?”
“Because they all end up in the same place" the young queen shrugged. "With Queen Chrysalis marching in. I have a very short window where I have to get rid of Jurva and somehow get the army in shape it can hold her back until Princess Celestia understands that this is the future awaiting for her too, and decides to pre-empt it. I can’t do both. Truth to be told, knowing Celestia I doubt I can even do either, but definitely not both.”
Jaako smiled. “I don’t mean to offend you your majesty but earthly regimes mean little to those pure in their beliefs.”
“None taken Tietäjä. But tell me, what would you do if an army of changelings would barge into your forest. With guns, tanks, planes dropping fire and death upon everything you created? Everything you loved.”
It was Jaako's turn to shrug . “Ukko have played a cruel joke on me before. If such is his will, then it is our duty to accept it. Nothing would make any of us happier than perish in the name of the gods. In their judgement I trust." As he finished Jaako saw a strange flicker in Velvet's eyes.
“I bet you do. You take their words to heart. Especially when they tell you not to lie.” Velvet stopped for moment. “It is strange however how you chose to change the subject in that last sentence, from plural to singular. Do I sense a bit of doubt in that trust toward your dear deer?”
“I trust in my deer completely. But I cannot say, that in their darkest hours, doubt will not creep into their faith. They will endure it."
“Yet you trust your own faith Tietäjä… Do you think it will hold even in your darkest hour?”
“I can never know, but yes, my trust in my own faith is quite absolute.”
“I guess it can be. It has a certain self-reinforcing quality to it. Even when you’re wrong, and the texts are wrong and then the world is wrong, the Gods are still right."
“Yes, the words of the gods can often feel overwhelming. But rest assured your majesty, there is no lie one can forge that’s not washed away by their truth.” Jaako let his glance hover on Velvet’s antlers.
“I would love to see that. Because you will be tested. Chrisallys will hear about your story just like I did. A deer who can see through her illusions? Nooo, she won’t have that. She will look for you, she will find you and… I guess then we’ll see if that habit of sanctimony you always wear, is really part of your skin, or you have to put it on every morning like the rest of us?”
“Should the gods test me, I shall stand resolute, through their power. If I can’t, then I deserve a fate worse than death anyway.”
“If the changelings come, and rest assured they will, you will learn what those words truly mean.”
“What do you mean? Have you ever been their captive?”
“No, but I know someone who has been. A harmonist changeling by the name of Thorax. We've met in the Crystal City a month before I've come back. He's said Chrysalis is a monster, and effective one at that. But she's reckless and hot-headed. Her underlings however - especially the head of her Queens Guard, Dieter Heinrich - are no fools. Thorax's said he might be the worst creature alive.
“When he captured Thorax he didn’t even touch him. He knew, he wasn’t going to break him that way. Turning into a martyr is the best Thorax could have hoped for at that point. No, Dieter knew that if he was to ever beat the revolution, he had to break Thorax. So he rounded up every single harmonist he could get his hooves on, and gathered them up in a circle. Then he hoisted Thorax up in cage over them so he could see everything happening down there.
“And one by one, he started to kill them off. You can bet he took his sweet time with every single one of them. He had a few tied to post on seashore and left them to be drowned by the tide. He suffocated one with his bare hooves. There was a kid he unshackled personally, told him they are going to play tag, and he gets a five second head start, then shot him at two....”
“Allright," Jaako interjected, trying to get away from the image of his followers getting tortured. "I think I get the idea. My death’s going to be long and unpleasant. That's been a strong possibility ever since I’ve founded this village.”
“Oh no, no. That’s the point. You’re not going to die. You're going to watch your disciples die. Slowly, one by one, until you do what they want.”
“And what do they want to achieve with that, your majesty? If my supposed powers are what they are after, what would they want beside my death?”
“I don’t know. Their cruelty is far beyond my understanding” she said with a taunting smile.
“Understood, now please your majesty, tell me what you think they want.” Jaako answered in kind, sensing the irony of the situation.
It took Velvet a second to answer, and when she did, her voice was hesitant, doubtful. “You alone are probably no threat to the changeling army. You can’t be everywhere, and I think they would be reasonably sure a bullet could kill you just like any other deer. What might be a threat, is your movement. Your potential to sire ten other deer who can do the same. Being pests themselves they know how to handle an infestation. They'd want to remove your ability to spread your influence. Their best bet, in my opinion, if they could make you apostatise.”
“That will not happen. Me and all my disciples will gladly die with Ukko’s name on our lips.”
“Yes I’ve seen your disciples Tietäjä. Their devotion is… remarkable. But I’ve seen how they look at you, how they speak to you. It might be Ukko’s name they’ll wear on their lips. But it will be yours they’ll carry in their heart.
“Are you ready to say that Jaako? Are you ready to admit that your arrogance is so enormous, that you would rather have them killed than to risk becoming an Apostate?” Velvet leaned in and almost pierced Jaako with her fanatical gaze. “Because let’s be honest that’s what you are afraid of in Hjortland. What Jurva is doing is just apostasy in a different skin. For Celestia’s sake, he himself might already be someone else in a different skin. It would explain a lot.”
Velvet stood up, picked up the scroll from his desk and handed it to Jaako again. “So, what do you say Tietäjä?”
As she was standing up, her antlers formed a frame around the sun, looking in from the window behind her.
It made Jaako think back to his vision in the morning. It was clear that the blue bush was Velvet, and the rain was the grace of Ukko, which makes her prosper. But what about the scroll? Jaako silently cursed Teemu for disturbing his vision. Then he would know the answer. On the other hoof, if Teemu just lead the new doe around he would have never figured out the rest.
He wasn’t sure if it showed on his face, nor did he care, but deep inside he was laughing. This situation was so absurd he couldn't do much else. Running so far and hiding so long, from Jurva so in the twilight of his life be awarded this choice. To bring balance to the country by facing up to his foe, at risk of his own soul? Ukko sure does work in mysterious ways.
Yet, the question still remained. Was the scroll the shield that protects everything from the fire, or the kindling that lits it up in the first place?
Jaako decided to find it out.
