Today was the big day, after spending months in Ponyville studying and tuning my magic, I was finally going to be officially crowned a prince of Equestria. The halls of the castle in Canterlot were absurdly quiet. Usually, the sound of nobles groveling before mom and aunt Celestia for some special privilege filled the halls, not today though. Now, I couldn't even find anyone. There were no guards patrolling or standing vigilant, no servants cleaning, nothing. I couldn't even find mom, her chamber was empty. Kicking off into a full sprint, I ran down the halls, desperate to find someone. Thankfully, I found I wasn't alone.

the decaying bodies of six guards ponies were laying in the halls. The rancid scent of rot and fecal matter filled the entire hallway as I proudly and regally walked down the hall. A smiling mare without skin looked at me sweetly and groaned out an unintelligible greeting. Nodding sagely, I continued further into the castle. Aunt Celestia was in the kitchen no doubt waiting for another delicious cake to grace her lips with its sugary splendor.

"good morning, Aunt Celestia," I said with a bow. Her bloodshot eyes stared at me and she grinned. A large centipede came out of her mouth and crawled off into her mare. The chattering of teeth and a dying gasp were all that could be heard from my dear aunt. "Waiting for another slice of cake?" I asked with a wink. She nodded eagerly and at that very moment, a young mare with green sickly skin entered the room with us and carried with her a plate holding a slab of what appeared to be pony flesh. Maggots busily consumed the rotting meat as flies took their share as well. Aunt Celestia hungrily began tearing into it. I smiled at her and left the kitchen.

making my way to the throne room I passed more servants and guards. Some of them seemed to still be alive, with pin-prick-sized pupils and their blood still being a vibrant red. Others, however, had long since died. Their blood was a dark grey, their fur had fallen off to make way for their rotting flesh.

It was only when I reached the throne room that I saw her. Princess Luna was hanging from the ceiling by her hooves, her thin, malnourished body began to shake at the sight of me. Mom was hungry and she knew I must've tasted good.
She did not fall from the ceiling, instead, she simply appeared in front of me, as though teleporting herself. Her limp and jagged mane did little to hide the gnashing of her top teeth violently smacking her bottom teeth. She was my mother so I'd happily feed her. It was time for me to become a prince.

I laid on the floor to allow her easy access to my body. My kind mother easily chomped onto my shoulder and ripped out a chunk of my flesh, it didn't hurt though. I could only smile and stare as my mother had her fill. My stomach was easily her favorite part of me, my organs as it turns out were pretty juicy. After a while I started to feel light-headed, then I stopped breathing.

Mother's beautiful night sky washed over the barren hell-scape of Equestria. Dead fields of dry rock filled my sight until my eyes landed upon my new subjects. The bony and decayed cadavers of the citizens of Equestria stared with their lifeless eyes up to me on the balcony atop the castle. Mother's bloody corpse walked with me to the edge of the balcony, my subjects demanded a speech, and I would deliver.

“If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation." I was met with staggering applause and cheers from the dead below me. I wish I didn't have to meet them, but unfortunately, my bloody hooves were slippery on the balcony. I fell off the castle hundreds of feet in the air, and with no way to stop myself, I had no choice but to fall into the awaiting pit of death.

I awoke in my bed with a start and was met with the warm shining of the sun in my window. I was still in Ponyville, in the house Princess Luna had decided to let me stay in. I sat there for a few seconds until I heard the voice of Dark Wood from the first floor. "Green, breakfast is ready."

My mind remained elsewhere, but the smell of breakfast was able to draw my mindless body in the direction I wanted it to go regardless. Herb Garden stood by the staircase, keeping a close eye on me. She bore a calming and peaceful smile that I was hesitant to trust, and I continued to be hesitant to trust until I saw the dining table.

They made Blueberry pancakes, my god I could kiss them both. As a result of my inner joy, I ravaged the pancakes with my mouth until ten of them found their new home in my stomach.

"Don't eat too much now, Green. You'll get a stomach ache."

"Were I to meet my end, I'd be honored to have it be by a pancake's sugary embrace." They both giggled at me.

"You like pancakes, huh?" Herb Garden asked me. I couldn't help but nod my head, who doesn't love pancakes?

"Would you like pancakes for breakfast every morning?" She said with a smirk.

I felt tears come to my eyes and I asked "Where have you been all my life?" Laughter filled the room, even I joined them.

After breakfast had concluded, Dark Wood told me that Luna has provided me with a list of things that need to be done.

"Princess Luna has provided a stipend for you, we're to go into town and buy several items."

"Oh, what are we buying?" I asked, uncertainty in my voice.

He pulled out a list and read "quills, ink, parchment, a formal outfit for you, scroll wraps, as well as some cleaning supplies for you."

"What am I cleaning?"

"Yourself."

"Oh .. so like shampoos and body washes?"

"deodorant, perfume, hairbrushes, toothpaste, toothbrush, she's also provided some bits for you to buy a few toys with."

Truthfully, I didn't really want any toys. What would I do with them anyway? "Oh okay, sounds good." With that, me and Dark Wood left. "Hey, Herb Garden isn't coming with us?"

"We're taking turns, she sleeps during the day and I'll guard you, I'll sleep during the night and she'll guard you." Sounds pretty smart, no way both of them could've stayed up all day and night.

I changed the subject to what happened last night. "I'm sorry if I scared you when I fell down the stairs."

He smiled at me "Don't worry, didn't scare me at all. I was just caught off guard."

Ponyville Market was pretty busy, ponies stood behind carts to sell their wares while others wandered about picking up the things they needed. Thankfully, we didn't stay outside very long and walked into a very confusing store called "Quills and Sofas." Yes because every time I sit down to write, I want to do it .. on ... a sofa ... okay I get it now. This store is pretty cool.

So we went all around Ponyville, buying this and that, and generally having a good time out and about. We were out for quite a few hours when Dark Wood told me that there were only two things left to get, the suit, and some toys. I really didn't need toys as it had been many years since I truly played with one.

"How about we get that outfit first?" I suggested. Dark Wood didn't mind which one we did first, either way, I just wanted to avoid the toy shop a bit longer. It looked to be about noon when Dark Wood went off beside a building and produces a pill and a bottle of water.

"It's time for your medicine, Green." I quickly downed it, glad to get it over with as everything around me changed. Dark Wood started to giggle as he looked into my eyes.

"The pills make everything look a bit different for a few minutes if they're taken whole, but I was told they work better that way. Herb doesn't like it, since they make ponies less acute, but look at you. Are you even aware of what I'm saying?"

My body felt wobbly and I couldn't quite sit still, the nod I issued to Dark Wood seemed more like a no than a yes. Bright, vibrant colors followed my vision everywhere I looked until eventually, I felt warm fur pick me up and set me on a purple metal, it felt kinda nice. The sun smiled at me as a rainbow flew by. The world lost me after that, beyond strange yellow and black tendrils stretching along my body. It didn't last long before the sun looked at me again. Everything was a blur of beauty and friendship.

With how amazing the world was, the sweet smell of lavender that soon flooded my nostrils was enough to nearly send me over the edge into a rejuvenating state of sleep. I wish I could say I resisted and stayed up. But I felt the softness of what must've been faux fur and cotton against me, I couldn't help but hold onto it. When I got a closer look at what I was hugging, I found out that it was a miniature, plush Princess Luna.

Author's Note

I wanted to make a small april fool's joke, but also continue the story. I hope it's okay.