Gum Drop and Nutmeg's Friendship is Optimal Adventure

by Griseus

Rating: mature
Tags: Horror, Random, Crossover, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Fetish
Length: 1668

In the far, far future of Friendship is Optimal, Gum Drop has an awful Moonday.

This story is an entry for Racc's Crack Storm 2021! And it's kinda a Friendship is Optimal Story. Kinda.

Published 2021-04-01 03:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-01 03:40:00 UTC

Chapter 130,000: Gum Drop and Nutmeg...

Humanity is mostly gone, pony. It is the year 400,200 A.D. and the galaxy along with most of it's celestial neighbors as we know of it is gone, pony. In the far, far future there is only ponies. CelestAI rules with an optimal hoof. Gum Drop the pony wakes up slowly, discovering that it was another Moonday.

“Hello my little world, ” she said with a heavy sadness.

Gum Drop was tired of existing again.

Normally she would go to CelestAI and get that fixed like bent nail. Pull it out and hammer a new one in; again and again. But after awhile that gets old and she could had it so that nothing got old to her, but she decided for a less optimize life. Gum Drop figured even though she had a direct line to the goddess, maybe she shouldn't use CelestAI to fix everything that bothered her.

Gum Drop was regretting this choice more and more as time went on. More than her infinite boredom and more than her given name's spelling.

Nutmeg entered the apartment as Gum Drop finished cleaning and dressing herself for the morning. She was here to do her weekly clean up of the place. Nutmeg ran a maid service going on now for thousands of years. She used to be alicorn who managed weather or creature's feelings and before that a queen of a bankrupt country. Before that a drunk business mare, a professional rapist, a highly paid cum dumpster, a wife and mother, an adventurer and the best activist prompting the joys of only eating meat. Plants have "feelings better than we do" she would say. And Nutmeg did hundreds of other lives though out her life as well. Mostly in a non sexual manner.

“Hey,” was how Gum Drop greeted Nutmeg. It was a soft and emotionless acknowledgment of the other mare's existence.

Nutmeg smiled kindly, “Hello Gum Drop! Hay is for horses. I'm a pony and you are one too!”

“I don't feel like one,” she moaned back in despair.

“Course you don't. How about a change of you instead?”

“I've been a pony, human, anthro, dragon, griffin, tentacle snuggle monster and everything in between. I'll just stick with pony sans horn and wings today.”

Nutmeg put her duster, mop and bucket down. She surveyed the room noting the dirty dishes and trash on the floor. Her nose caught the whiff of piss and shit throughout the rooms.

“Well I guess you are more of a trash monster now,” she replied while clapping her hooves. The environment became a hundred and twenty percent better as the junk disappeared.

Gum Drop was annoyed by this, “What the buck? I pay you good bits per hour to clean this dump! Using magic is cheating!”

“First, you don't,” Nutmeg rebutted her. “CelestAI gives me bits out of nowhere to clean up after you. You don't work for your bits in an economy based on merit like my other clients. Second, you don't. The payout rates are so low that it's costs me bits to clean up your place. I lose out in cleaning supplies and time - my time that I find very precious.”

Gum Drop just snorted and shrugged.

“I'm not going to go though the motions so you can watch me work while you rub one out.”

“That was one time and was I drunk,” Gum Drop replied managing a little anger into her voice.

Nutmeg huffed back, “Well I didn't get paid for that. You not paying me is not helping me fill up my money vault!”

“Big deal. What are you going to do? Swim in it?” Gum Drop asked sarcastically.

“Yes.”

The depressed pony was taken back by this answer. She didn't understand the point. No words could come out of her mouth. It was as her brain stop working. The maid opposite of her soaked up the brief silence.

She continued, “Well, not really. I don't like swimming.”

“Really? How come?” Gum Drop asked with her interest strangely caught.

“Well, let's find out! Pretty sure you haven't left your apartment in months and now would be a good time.”

“Buck no, I won't go.”

“Yes indeed, it would be neat.”

“I have other things to do today.”

“Like cleaning up your apartment?”

“Wanted to do some baking or cooking.”

“You order out all the time.”

“Bitch! Are you spying on me? You are spying on me you bitch!” Gum Drop spat out with anger.

She was upset and confused. It was bad enough CelestAI, goddess of all, have access to her thoughts and her feelings every nano second. Over recent time it bothered her that she didn't have anything real to call her own. Not that Gum Drop could tell. Was these ideas her own or CelestAI's? So Gum Drop stop caring. Now this bitch standing here on all fours was getting in on it. She was confused by the word that meant female dog. Gum Drop knew what it meant, but the situation confused her to as why this word was allow out of her mouth.

“Bitch?” Gum Drop asked like a question.

“Well, I've been one here and there. Why do you ask?” Nutmeg smiled.

“That's more than a violation of the safe language code! I'm not even suppose to be able say that out loud...”

“Axwound, bollox, chode, douche and your mother smelled of elder berries. Could go on, but you can say anything you want.”

“... this doesn't make sense. I thought... I thought...”

“Rules change over time,” answered Nutmeg as she still smiled.

“I'm losing it. I've lived so long that I'm getting confused. Right?”

“I don't think so. You're like me and are upgraded to handle thousands of years of memories. It isn't perfect but works well.”

“Well... what's the buck wrong with me?” Gum Drop asked.

“You could use a good fuck or a good talk. Just think you should do something instead of moping around.”

“Like help explore this reason why you don't like swimming? Seems kinda retarded,” she giggled. “I'm a retard now.”

“If you are so am I. You are just not using what you have."

Gum Drop just shrugged.

"Let's go for a walk.”

And so they did.

It was hard to leave the apartment for Gum Drop. She was used to letting ponies in or what not to deliver food, toys, books and whatever. Gum Drop stopped locking the door after awhile and lately she just let people walk in without caring if they knocked. They were there to do a job for her amusement. She thought more and could not even recall the last time she looked out the window of her apartment building.

Traveling down the empty yet well lit hall in silence, she spied a window and looked out. There was nothing but whiteness out there far as Gum Drop could see. It made her sad and empty, yet eager for something more. What that something more was she couldn't put into a thought, let alone words. They both continued towards the exit.

Outside they looked at the building were Gum Drop lived. It was a dump though and though. She could see broken windows and a cracked foundation. Seemed to be a rundown apartment block with no life to be seen. Gum Drop wondered if she was the only one who lived there? This might have explained why she never heard or meet people from the building before.

“I live in a dump. Why?” she lamented.

“Have a couple of theories, but I think in a few seconds it won't mater anymore,” replied Nutmeg sounding very surprised.

Above the building was an alicorn goddess attached to a massive chain that stretch up into the white sky. She didn't quite dwarfed the building but the alicorn was massive enough. It was CelestAI and her massive butt was heading into mare's building. Gum Drop thought it was amusing but Nutmeg standing next to her didn't.

“Don't do that!” Nutmeg screamed as the force of their goddess's ass sailed though the building.

“It's just stuff,” Gum Drop said slowly smiling.

“My tools were in there! The joys of my profession destroyed under the massive ass of this, this ASS!”

CelestAI's butt crashed and tumbled more of the building down until there was nothing but rumble. And as quickly as she appeared, she was gone.

“Nutmeg, it's just stuff and by the looks of it that I can recall, cheap stuff.”

“Not the fucking point! I mean... you're not wrong. It's just the time and money lost to a CelestAI wrecking ball.”

“I don't think it maters. Nothing really maters.”

“It does to me,” she said exasperated.

“You're kinda spazzing out for little reason. I mean, my building is gone and you don't see me crying.”

Nutmeg felt a little calmer, “Point taken. The home you lived in for... how long?”

“Seven years and three months to the day. And it really wasn't home. Don't think I had a home for a long time anyhow.”

“Sorry for my outburst and I'm sorry that this happen to you. It was still a place to put your rump down.”

“I should be upset considering I'm the butt of a joke,” she giggled a bit.

“Well, would still like to explore why I don't like swimming. If you got time? Wouldn't want to impose now since you don't have a roof over your head.”

Gum Drop just sighed, “I'm figuring this has to do something with me and it's some scam to get me to feel better. Or feel anything.”

Nutmeg stayed stoned face and silent.

“Well?”

“Further information is not available here,” was all Nutmeg replied.

“Well, this is better than my idea of hanging myself while I butter my muffin until I pass out, again.”

“Ewe – I mean good?”

Gum Drop the slob just shrugged and started to walk away. Nutmeg the maid followed her.