Dear Ponyville Confidential,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am interested in participating in the new review column opening up in your newspaper, with peak interest about the Friendship Journal review. Along with this letter, you should find a piece of looseleaf in this envelope with my review written on it. I hope that you will read, and I eagerly await your response.
Sincerely,
Sweet Pepper
The Friendship Journal Review by Sweet Pepper
The Friendship Journal was a book that released independently in bookstores Equestria-wide only last week, and it still managed to become a bestseller. It looks into the lives of the Elements of Harmony starting from only a couple of months ago and delves deep into their own problems and the lessons learned while facing them. The book received widespread acclaim for its interesting insight into the lives of the ponies who saved Equestria several times, of which I’m sure everypony is truly grateful for. However, it did not come without some criticism, which eventually threatened to spread into the Element’s personal lives. As such, the book was pulled from many bookstores and is now a rare commodity. So, is it still worth it? Should you still spend over 50 bits for this book?
Well, it’s more complicated than just a yes or no. Let me explain.
The book is broken into a non-linear format, discussing each of the Mane Six and individual journal entries of which describes a problem the pony faced, and how they learned from it. It also helps if you personally know the Elements themselves, of which many do.
Let’s start with the positives. First off, I actually liked the way the book is written. A common criticism I found of the book was the journal format, and how most would have preferred a more common, novel-like format. However, I actually don’t mind the writing format used here. Despite not producing a pinpoint plot, the entries help us get to know these characters, and become more personal with them.
However, a negative does also arise from that positive. While lack of plots can keep a book interesting, when it’s all essentially lessons, there needs to be some sort of cohesive plotline tying everything together. There are a lot of lessons in here that are just obvious filler. We don’t need a whole letter about settling arguments about cake. They should have kept the important journal entries and left out the rest. What we would have gotten there would be a shorter book, but one that portrays its themes in a more direct manner.
Now it is time to discuss the characters, or the Elements of Harmony. However, three of them have sisters, and they are actually my favorite characters. You see Apple Bloom-
Sweet Pepper didn’t know how long it had been since she stopped writing. Or since she started writing in the first place. Really, she didn’t even know what time it was. Probably night.
She was sitting on her twin bed, writing by lamplight. In front of her, she had an open Daring Do collectors notebook and a book with a gold horseshoe and purple star in the middle. She just wanted to get this one thing done. She already read the damn book, it should have been easy to review it. An easy way to get her name around town. Judging by her messy hair and bloodshot eyes, it turned out harder than she thought.
Damn it, this review is no good either. Look, I contradict myself when talking about the plot structure! Who introduces their thoughts on characters that sloppily? And why is it so wordy? This is a newspaper review, not a college essay! Oh my Celestia, I even forgot to add my criticisms about how characters are introduced! Can I do anything right?
Her frustration at its peak, the chili red pegasus ripped out the paper from the notebook, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it down on the floor with the other scraps and Cheezy Nibbler bags. She’d clean those up tomorrow.
Pen in mouth ready, Sweet Pepper got ready to try again. 6’th time’s the charm. She only got two words down when a crucial thought came to her mind: What time is it?
Sweet Pepper looked over at her nightstand and her alarm clock. She gawked at the 1:00 displayed in neon red by the small, black device. No, that couldn’t be right. She only started writing at nine, there’s no way she seriously spent four hours writing and reading about a journal.
Four hours, and absolutely no progress. She needed to stop dazing off in these important situations. Even if she needed to figure out how to write a sequel to ‘Daring Do and Ahuizotl’s Curse’ because of popular demand.
Sweet Pepper wanted to get mad at herself for wasting such valuable writing time. Work’s been so hard, and nopony wants to buy spices or oils anymore. In the summer. She was pretty sure that was supposed to be a good combination or something. Oh well, it’s only June. It’s more of a July thing. But still, the spice hasn’t been selling, and those ingredients weren’t getting any cheaper. She needed to spend as much time as she could selling those damn oils, and she ended up getting so burned out over it every day. Only a recent large purchase in tabasco (by Pinkie Pie, again) let Sweet Pepper take a weekend break. Why not spend it by writing this review for Ponyville Confidential and get it done well before the 30-day deadline hits? Yet she wasted the whole thing, and she got nowhere. She had a reason to hate herself surely.
But upon realization of the time, Sweet Pepper finally felt how truly tired she was. Her wings were sore, her eyes kept closing by themselves, and her vision was getting blurrier and blurrier by the second.
Sweet Pepper yawned and began to throw off the journal and jungle-colored notebook to the floor with the paper balls and junk food. She’d clean those up tomorrow. She flattened out her sheets before snuggling up underneath them. She took one last look around her dimly lit room with fading vision. The dozen or so Daring Do posters and small wooden bookshelf seemed to tell her one thing: “Go to sleep, Sweet Pepper.”
Another yawn. She should really be getting on that sleep. Besides, she had lunch with Citrine Sparks tomorrow. It was good to appear well-rested in front of her friend. She wanted a good eleventh impression after all.
Sweet Pepper reached a hoof over to her nightstand and turned the lamp off, bringing the small bedroom into the dark. It didn’t take long for Sweet Pepper to give into her tiredness. Oh well, she’d just write tomorrow and see if she could find some better luck. Probably. Hopefully.
“So, how was your day so far?”
The pegasus looked up from the menu, surprised somepony was actually talking to her.
“Oh, uh, yeah. Today was fine I guess,” she managed to stammer at the mare across from her before returning her attention back to the paper menu in her hooves.
Citrine Sparks rolled her eyes. She hated when Sweet Pepper got like this. When it was a good day, she was surprisingly easy to talk to, and was one of the sweetest ponies in Equestria. But when it was a bad day…
Citrine Sparks managed a smile and lightly tapped a hoof on the table. “Hey, Sweet P,” she said in a voice as gentle as she could muster. “Come on. I know there’s something going on, and you know you can tell me what it is. We are friends after all.”
“So am I in a carrot mood or wonton mood for today?” Sweet Pepper asked the menu, paying no attention at all to her friend.
Citrine Sparks smile promptly dropped, and she smacked a hoof to her forehead. They both went to Wednesday many times over the last couple of weeks, and Sweet Pepper always knew what she wanted. The fact that she was pretending that she didn’t have a usual proved that Sweet P herself knew something was wrong and, like usual, she needed somepony to help her face it.
“HEY!” Sweet Pepper shouted as the menu was suddenly yanked from the hooves and held above her head, just out of reach. “Give it back!”
Citrine shook her head sadly, bringing the menu over to her side of the table with her magic. “Sweet P, come on. We’ve been friends for months now. You can tell me what’s going on,” Citrine Sparks said, placing the menu on top of her own.
Instead of opening up to her friend, Sweet Pepper took the more foalish option. With a ‘humph’, Sweet Pepper whipped her head to her left, her eyes shut and mouth clenched, and her arms folded together across her chest like a foal throwing a temper tantrum.
“I’m not telling you anything! Besides, there’s not even anything to tell.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
Sweet Pepper stuck out her tounge in rebellion. If Citrine Sparks wasn’t annoyed at her, she would have found that adorable. “Well, quit it! You don’t need to know everything.”
“Uh, I’m sorry, is this a bad time?”
Sweet Pepper gasped as her eyes flew open and her head snapped to the right. A waiter was standing next to their outdoor table, pen in mouth and notebook in hoof. He was very obviously confused and probably a little frightened about the argument he just walked in on.
Sweet Pepper pointed a hoof at the waiter and glared at Citrine. “Great, now the waiter’s here, and I don’t know what I’m going to get! Are you happy now?”
Citrine Sparks just simply rolled her eyes, levitating her menu over to the waiter. “You’re going to get the cheesy carrot sticks.”
Sweet Pepper pouted. “But what if I want the won-“
“We had wontons last week. We both agreed they were mush.”
“Oh,” was all Sweet Pepper responded with, before an embarrassed blush appeared on her cheeks. “I’m sorry for yelling, I’ll just have the carrot sticks,” she told the waiter, handing the menu over to him with one wing while hiding her face with her other.
It took a moment before the waiter realized he still had to do his job. Quickly writing down their orders on a notepad, he grabbed the menus and hastily threw them on his back before turning to make his leave. Then, as if suddenly remembering something important, he quickly stopped and walked back over to the table.
“I forgot to ask you two this but, uh, what about entrees?”
Sweet Peppers jaw nearly dropped in surprise. “Wha- entrees? We didn’t even talk about entrees yet!”
Citrine Sparks was a lot more calm. “I’ll have the caesar salad, extra dressing, thank you.” She then turned her voice over to her panicking friend. “And you usually get either the Hayburger or the Dandelion and avocado sandwich. I’ll let you decide which one.”
Picking up her jaw from the floor, Sweet Pepper clearly thought about it for a couple of seconds before shrugging. “Just get me the Hayburger,” she finally said, staring at Citrine.
“O-okay,” the waiter responded. “I’ll, uh, make sure to tell the chefs that.” With the orders taken, he ran out of there like a bat out of Tartarus.
For the next minute, the two mares kept silent. Citrine Sparks gazed at the Ponyville streets, finding the beauty in the way the afternoon sun shone down on the paved streets and on the ponies bustling to get their business done and over with. Maybe Clay would like to go to the park today, have a nice romantic trot. They hadn’t done that in a while.
Sweet Pepper kept her gaze down on the table in front of her, twirling her mane in her hoof. Thinking of what to say next.
“What if ponies heard me yelling?” Sweet Pepper finally asked, still looking down at the table in shame.
The question snapped Citrine Sparks out of her daydream as she turned to look at her drooping friend. “What do you mean?” she asked curiously.
“What if ponies heard me yelling?” she repeated “Did I embarrass myself? We’re outside, how many other ponies heard me throwing a temper tantrum?”
Citrine Sparks looked around their table. True, there were many ponies out here. Some were also seated at outdoor tables, conversing with others or happily eating their lunch. Others were in the open streets, minding their own business as they went to wherever they had to be.
Managing her best, most reassuring smile, she reached over and patted a hoof on Sweet Pepper’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s alright. Nopony here cares if you shout or whatever. You’ll be fine.”
Sweet Pepper looked up at her friend, teary eyed. “R-really? But, don’t they still j-judge me?”
Citrine Sparks shook her head, still smiling . “Oh of course they did.” That got Sweet Pepper to whimper a bit, but Citrine just held her hoof tighter on the Pegasus shoulder while she calmed down.
“You didn’t let me finish. Of course they’re judging you, but who cares? Why should their opinion matter to you? They don’t know you as well as I do, or anypony that actually cares about you.”
Sweet Pepper smiled just a bit, and Citrine decided to take that as a good sign. “Now please, Sweet P. Please. Something is clearly bothering you, but nopony can help you if you don’t tell anypony what’s wrong.”
Sweet Pepper's smile vanished as quickly as it appeared, and she looked down at the ground, making sure not to meet her friends gaze.
Citrine Sparks sadly sighed, and leaned away from the pegasus, back towards her chair. If she really didn’t want to talk, then it was best to leave her alone for now. No point in pressuring her. She could just ask her about it later.
“I’m writing a book review.”
Citrines eyes suddenly widened on surprise, shocked the mare actually managed to say something. Her relaxed body shot upright, and Citrine turned her ear towards Sweet P.
“You’re writing a what?”
Sweet Pepper took a deep breath, still looking at the floor. Finally, she continued. “Ponyville Confidential has this contest for a book review. It’s for the Friendship Journal that came out a while ago.”
Citrine Sparks nodded. “Yeah, the book that drove this town into a frenzy. What do they want a review of it for? Didn’t that get taken off shelves, like, last week?”
Sweet Pepper simply shrugged. “Yeah, it did. But I think it’s a whole looking back on it type thing, and seeing if it was worth the hype.” Sweet Pepper finally looked up at Citrine, tears gone from her eyes, instead filled with excitement. “I’ve read the book already, and I review things all the time! Well, in my head anyway. Doesn’t matter. I can do this. I know I can. I’m just trying to get this done early and as quickly as possible!”
That made Citrine raise an eyebrow. “But why? Why do you need to get it done as soon as possible?”
Sweet Pepper shrugged again. “Why not? I’m terrible with deadlines, and I need to make sure I make this one. Might as well just get it done as quickly as possible, right?”
Citrine Sparks shook her head, and Sweet Peppers excitement faltered just a bit. “But don’t you think that… that-“ Citrine stammered, struggling to find the right words. “-don’t you think that’s a little unhealthy, to get it all done immediately? Wouldn’t it be better to take your time with it?”
“Yeah, but the deadline-“
“Who cares about the deadline?” Citrine Sparks interrupted. She was pretty sure there were ponies staring at her, but she didn’t care. Why should she? “Sweet P, I know you.”
Sweet Pepper scoffed. “You know me? We’ve known each other not even two months ago, how do you know me?”
“From hours upon hours of conversations we’ve had together! I know that you get stressed with so many things. And I’ve known your store’s been hard on you. You don’t need another stressor in your life right now!
“If you’re going to write the review, and if you want to write the review, take it slow. The last thing I want you to do is start stress drinking again.”
“Hey!” Sweet Pepper nearly shouted, anger in her voice. “I don’t have a drinking problem!”
“Never said you do,” Citrine Sparks said, now confident with every word. “It’s just when you’re stressed, you drink. And that’s a fact. What about that whole Daring Do thing you were writing? Remember what happened then?”
Sweet Pepper noticeably cringed as she waved a hoof to surrender. “Alright, alright. I get it.”
“Oh dear.”
“CELESTIA DAMNIT!” Sweet Pepper yelped as the waiter spoke nearly directly into her ear. The scream also seemed to scare the tartarus out of the waiter, and the carrot sticks on his back would have gone flying towards the floor if not caught in Citrine Sparks magical grip.
“Sorry about that,” the unicorn apologized, a big, sheepish smile on her face as she levitated the carrot sticks towards their table. “You keep coming here at the worst times.”
The waitress rolled his eyes as he wiped his brow full of sweat. “Yeah, you don’t say.I better get a good tip from this,” he grumbled.
He ran away faster than the first time.
Sweet Pepper glared after him as he retreated back to the restaurant before turning her head to face her friend, her mouth agape. Her hoof pointed to where the waiter was only a moment ago, as if he was still there invisibley mocking her.
“Does that dope have a sixth sense to interrupt mares in personal conversations.” Citrine couldn’t help but giggle at that as Sweet Pepper stuck her tounge at the invisible waiter and proceeded to devour her cheesy carrot sticks.
Citrine waited until Sweet Pepper was done with her massacre of the apps before trying to talk to her. “Hey,” Citrine finally said after Sweet Pepper took a short break in between bites. “Please promise me you’ll take my advice.”
Sweet Pepper took a massive gulp of the sticks before nodding. “Yeah yeah, I will. Damn, these sticks are pretty good tod-“
“I mean it,” Citrine pleaded, making sure to look into Sweet P's eyes. To show how much she really cared. “I don’t want you obsessing over this or getting stressed out. I’m your friend. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
Another nod. “Hey, I said I will. I’ll be good this time, I promise.”
Citrine Sparks nodded herself, smiling. The two friends shared a quiet, peaceful moment with each other for a while, both oblivious to the confused and judging looks of others. It was finally broken when Citrine quickly levitated the last remaining carrot stick off of the plate and stuffed it in her mouth before Sweet P could stop her.
“HEY! THAT WAS THE LAST ONE!”
“Sorry! I couldn’t resist!”
