Harmonia

by SirPotato

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Non-consensual, Violence, Death, Alternate Universe, Narcotics, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Dark, Comedy
Length: 9556

A dark parody of MLP, set in an alternate world where the Keepers of Harmony are corrupt to the core - and it's up to a group of misfits to expose them.

The Keepers of Harmony are the protectors of the realm of Harmonia, protecting the ponies of the land from the Dark. They are a group of six, loving friends who do everything to protect the community - or so they say.

Key-Tap knows the truth. After watching one of the Keepers accidentally kill her son, she finds herself angry and in despair - until a mysterious black mare approaches her with the chance to expose the Keepers, and bring them to justice. With the world against them, Key-Tap and her strange new allies will fight tooth and hoof to bring the truth to light, even as the line becomes blurred and good becomes harder to distinguish from evil.

Full Disclaimer: This story is a blatant rip-off of heavily inspired by the dark superhero parody The Boys. If you don't like The Boys, then I guarantee that you won't like this fic. Disturbing themes lie within, and any delving is at your own risk.
Also, it's a complete cast of original characters, although a few of them will look familiar to you. Events will be in parallel to The Boys, but I will strive to make some significant differences so that the story is still somewhat interesting.

Published 2021-05-15 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-15 03:30:01 UTC

Part 1-1

Age past, in a long-lost time, ponykind flourished in happiness and splendour in the forests of Harmonia. They played and they frolicked alongside the gryphons, the satyrs and the kelpies, all creatures speaking and laughing as equals.

But this was not to last. The creatures of Harmonia soon became divided, companionship turning into jealousy and joy soon turned to bitterness. Ponykind divided between the earthens, the pegasi and the unicorns, and the other creatures retreated to their lonely kingdoms. With division, came hatred. And with hatred, came the Dark.

The Dark came in like a storm, drawn by the distrust and dislike that pervaded the land. It rolled from the north and covering the land with fearsome beasts and paralysing nightmares. Ponykind hid from the Dark, hiding inside their villages and towns, and their division was further entrenched. The Dark threatened to swallow Harmonia whole – and ponykind with it.

But there was one pony who stood against the Dark. A mare, who had the wings of a pegasus, the magic of a unicorn, and a powerful divine light that pierced through the Dark and its despicable creations. Her magic was borne from six tenants of purity, six ideals of good that kept the Dark at bay. This mare was the Immortal Sun Queen, and with her wisdom and charity, she taught ponykind the power of compassion, of good, and of friendship. With their hearts now filled with holy good, the Dark was repelled and ponykind began to flourish once more.

But the Sun Queen knew that the Dark would return. It would return again and again until all creatures in the world were awoken to the magic of friendship. So she formed the Six Houses, six noble families who would continue to inspire the tenants of community into ponykind and keep the dark at bay. She gave these families divine powers that would help them in their battle against the Dark, against hopelessness and against evil itself.

Today, the Houses are each represented by a Keeper – a single pony from each house who embodies the concepts that each House holds dear. These noble heroines continue to inspire ponykind and fight the madness of the Dark, wherever its influence appears. The Keepers are…

Sunshine Heart, honourable Keeper of House Resolve. By her hard work and honesty, she ensures that ponies have everything they need to survive. Her divine gift allows her to pierce through deceit and trickery, common tools of the Dark.

Bubblegum, the excitable Keeper of House Joy. With her penchant for parties and fun, she makes sure that ponies always see the bright side of life, even it seems far away. Her divine gift allows her to appear wherever she is needed, no matter the distance.

Lightning Streak, the confident Keeper of House Bravery. She inspires ponies to be strong hearted in the face of danger, and to fight back the fear of the Dark. Her divine gift allows her to control rain, storms and wind to keep order in the natural weather.

Purebloom, shy but loving Keeper of House Innocence. She tends to the sanctuaries of nature and protects ponies from the influence of evil. Her divine gift allows her to calm the creatures of the natural world and rid creatures of their fear.

Diamondsong, the beautiful Keeper of House Sympathy. She ensures that everything is shared equally, and that no pony is left behind. Her divine gift allows her to shape gemstone to create works of beauty to be shared and admired by all.

And, of course…

“…Myself, Princess Shimmerlight of House Unity.”

The crowd of foals listened intently, sitting the grass around the figure before them. Taller than the average pony, she had a pristine white coat that seemed to reflect the sunlight itself, two wings folded upon her sides and the image of a crescent moon adorning the sides of her flank. Her mane was black, dancing with little white stars and flowing down her shoulders, with a fringe that partially covered a long, pointed horn jutting from her forehead. Her eyes were bright blue, her smile kind, and she wore a silver crown atop her head with a blue, circular-shaped gem set within it. She was a mare of stark, otherworldly beauty, and all the younglings could do was stare in childish awe.

“When I was younger, I was very withdrawn.” The princess told them softly, lying on her hooves before them. “I spent all day reading and playing alone with my dolls. I never went outside, I never talked to the other children… I didn’t have a single a friend.”

The foals murmured amongst themselves. One of them, a brown-coated colt with straw-yellow hair, held up his hoof and asked nervously, “Were… were you lonely?”

Shimmerlight nodded at the colt, smiling warmly. “Very. But I don’t think I realised how lonely I was until much, much later. My parents noticed, though. They were worried about me, and they wanted me to learn more about friendship and unity so that I would one day be able to take up the mantle of Keeper. So, they sent me to a little town called…” She waves her hoof up and around to weave an air of mystique. “Greengrove.”

The foals were quiet for a moment as they took this in.

“…What’s that?” One of them asked.

Shimmerlight laughed good-naturedly. “Greengrove is a town on the edge of Harmonia, far away from the city, where ponies still worked the farms by hoof and plough, and where the only runicomputer was a single phone to the outside world.” When the foals gasped, she nodded and said, “Yes. Very old-fashioned. But it was a lovely town full of positive, happy ponies. It was a perfect place for me to learn about friendship – and Unity wasn’t the only House that thought so. Because it was in Greengrove that I met the other would-be Keepers… and, by extension, my future friends.”

“Didn’t Lightin’ Streak explode you with lightning?” One of the fillies asked.

Shimmerlight chuckled again, awkwardly this time. “Our first interactions were certainly… intense. But, as we got to know each other, we became a lot closer. We became fast, close friends, and when Greengrove was assailed by the Dark…”

The foals gasped again. One of them, a pink filly with orange hair, leapt up in delight and cried, “Is that when you fighted the Nightmare?”

“Yes, it was!” Shimmerlight replied enthusiastically. “The Nightmare thought that she could cover Harmonia with the Dark, using Greengrove as a starting point. But she didn’t plan on me and my new friends being there to stop her!”

“Did you beat her up?” One of the colts asked excitedly, a black colt with a short, light-blue mane.

“Oh, no, no!” Shimmerlight said quickly. “Violence is the way of the Dark. We defeated her through the magic of our friendship, stripping the Nightmare of her evil and turning her back into a normal pony. Hurting other ponies is never the answer to a problem.”

“…Oh.” The colt looked away dejectedly.

Shimmerlight smiled comfortingly at the colt. “Don’t feel bad. You’re still a child, and you have a lot to learn. That’s why I’m here. That’s why all of us are here.” She slowly stood up, looking over the children with confidence as they looked up to her with wonder. “We’re here to teach all of you how to be best versions of yourselves that you can be. We’re here to teach you how to be honest, compassionate, kind, joyful, brave and generous. But more than all of that… we’re here to teach you all how to unlock the magic of friendship.”

“Alright, everypony! It’s time for the big finale!”

The voice came from a large metal screen, four small gemstones imprinted in each corner and one larger gemstone in the centre. The crystals were lit up, displaying an illusory image of a modest, cottage kitchen. A massive, four-tier chocolate cake sat on the counter of the space, undecorated, and dividing the camera view between the two hosts.

“That’s right! It’s icing time!” Trilled the first host, a unicorn mare with a baby-blue coat, and puffy, sparkly pink hair that bobbed as she leapt up in excitement. A silver necklace with a pink, lollypop-shaped gemstone was adorned around her neck, jangling wildly with her movements. “We’re gonna be using some white fondant for this one, folded over a layer of marzipan, and then decorated with some stars, butterflies and whatever these are!” The unicorn declared, her horn glowing with telekinetic magic to lift each item up in turn. The last item was a bag of tiny gold and silver balls. “This is gonna be the most scrumptious, most delicious cake ever!”

The second host chuckled at the mare’s excitement. He was a stallion with a brown coat and mane, and he said in a much more even tone, “That certainly sounds like an excellent cake, Bubblegum. But I think you’ve forgotten something.”

“What?” Bubblegum, Keeper of Joy, blinked confusedly a couple times, then her eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh!”

With a flash of light and a pop sound, she disappeared from the kitchen.

With another flash and another pop, she re-appeared, this time holding a basket of fruits with her mouth. She placed the basket on the table, turned to camera and said sheepishly, “I forgot the strawberries!”

The two laughed good-naturedly at the Keeper’s absent-mindedness. Chuckling along with them, watching the show from a wooden counter, was a young mare with neither wings nor horn, leaning forward with her forelegs upon the counter. Her coat was a light, sandy brown, and her auburn mane was tied in a ponytail that draped across her shoulders. She let out an amused sigh as she watched, murmuring, “Classic Bubblegum.”

She watched for a little longer, the show following its usual motions. Bubblegum iced the cake, started decorating, then she made a mistake or caused an accident that meant that she had to redo a certain aspect of the cake, which forced her to spend more time as the time limit drew nearer, but she’d figure it out in the end and deliver the cake to the wedding reception before the time was up. Classic Bubblegum.

A large shape moved into the edge of her vision. “Key-Tap.”

Key looked over to her boss, a large black stallion with short-cut white hair and a permanent unfriendly glare – a glare that was currently directed at her.

“Hey, Gran.” She said cheerfully. “What’s up?”

Granite Gaze briefly turned his glare to the television screen she was looking at. “You enjoyin’ yourself there?”

“Oh, yeah, I love this show.” Key-Tap said. “Bubblegum is my favourite Keeper. She’s just adorable.”

“Oh, yeah. Very important.” The scowl turned back to her. “Did you even look at the speaker I told you to look at?”

“Uh… yeah!” Key-Tap replied, nodding. “Yeah, I had a look at it.”

“And?”

“Yeah, the sound rune on that thing is super scuffed.” Key replied, stepping off of the counter. “No matter what I did, it just kept making that high-pitched noise at me. We might have to get a proper runesmith to look at it.”

“Key, I hired you because I don’t want to pay for a runesmith.” Granite growled at her. “Your destiny brand means that you’re good at this stuff. You have to be able to do something.”

Key shrugged, looking at the triangular rune that adorned her flank. “Talent doesn’t mean much if I haven’t had the proper training. I can look at it a bit more, but… I don’t think there’s a whole lot that a hobbyist can do.”

Granite glared at her a bit more for good measure, then he huffed and said, “Fuckin’ Soundsculpt. Take down all the other speakers with the same model number. I’d bet my autocarriage that the same thing will happen to them.”

“Can do.”

Key-Tap worked in a runicomputer shop, selling TV’s, stereos, scrying spheres and a whole bunch of other runic devices. That was her talent, manipulating the magic runes that made the devices work. She had experimented with writing her own runes in the past, but she was in her better element when she was tampering with existing runes. Granite had hired her based on that very talent, and alongside manning the counter and tending to customers, she also acted as the shop’s on-site amateur runesmith.

Key hummed as she worked, listening to the Bubblegum Bakearena as it played in the background. Next week was going to be a live show, and whatever Bubblegum’s challenge would be, she’d have to do it with a live audience. Key was excited for it. Who’d be able to accuse the show of being scripted if there was a countdown timer on screen?

Her shift ended just after midday. It was a solid four hours of work, even if most of it was spent lazing at the counter, watching TV, and she got paid well enough for it. She heard the door open as the next pony came in to take over her shift, along with the squeak of small plastic wheels. She smiled as she turned to see a red unicorn stallion with a short, neatly combed orange mane trot into the shop, pushing a black pram with him.

“Hey, nerd.” She greeted him.

The stallion chuckled. “Hey, Key.”

She had always thought herself lucky to find him. If it had been any other colt who had gotten her pregnant a year out of high school, they would’ve dumped her in an instant and moved onto the next girl. Firewall, however, made it his life’s mission to help her. He got her the job with Granite, he helped her move into an apartment with him, he had done so much to make sure that she wasn’t left floundering. She couldn’t be luckier.

Key-Tap stepped out from the counter and towards her coltfriend, kissing him the instant she was within reach of him. When she drew back, Firewall murmured in embarrassment, “Come on, Key…”

“Relax, Firewall, we’re an item.” Key laughed. She looked inside the pram. “How was Crypto?”

The little bundle of blankets within stirred at the mention of his name, revealing a tiny, yellow unicorn, sound asleep.

“Slept the whole way here.” Firewall replied.

Key leant against him, sighing. “By the Queen, we made a beautiful kid. I know I say that all the time, but we really made a beautiful kid.”

“Mmm.” Firewall nuzzled his head over hers. “You did most of the work.”

Key looked up at him incredulously. “You’ve been running around like a headless chicken since we moved in together. I don’t know how you can say that with a straight face.”

Firewall laughed. “Yeah, yeah… how’s work been?”

“Pretty alright.” Key replied. “Gran’s grumpier than normal, so you might want to steer clear of him for a bit.”

“…Probably doesn’t help that you keep calling him that.”

“Oh, what’s he going to do? Fire me?” Key-Tap laughed. “I’m the only reason he can still call this place Runicomp Buy and Repair.” She took the pram by the handle and started to wheel it around. “Do we need anything from the shops?”

“We’re set.” Firewall replied.

“What’s that? We need more Bubblegum figures for Crypto’s room?”

Firewall chuckled as he took up the front counter. “Crypto does not need any more Bubblegum toys.”

“I think I hear ‘more Bubblegum toys!’” Key sang.

Firewall shook his head as he laughed. “You are spoiling this kid.”

“Hell yeah, I am!” Key said as she pushed the pram out the door. “See you at nine!”

“See you!”

Key-Tap stepped out of the shop and onto the street outside. She smiled as the city of Bardigrand emerged before her. Capital of Harmonia, Bardigrand was a city that had lived for centuries. Even though she just lived in the outer suburbs, she still lived amongst buildings of well-cut stone and marvellous gardens, with roads paved a hundred years ago still looking brand new. In the distance, she could see skyships floating through the air, towers of iron and silver that shone in the sun, and in the centre of the city were the castles of the Six Houses, where the Keepers of Harmonia resided.

Key hummed as she made her way back home. The sky was bright, with not too many clouds blotting out the sun, and there weren’t a lot of ponies around either. She passed by a few pegasi, some unicorns, and a bunch of earth ponies, all engaged in their own lives.

After about three minutes, as she was getting closer to the apartment, Key heard a soft sound from the pram. Looking down, she saw Crypto stirring, blinking his two, large eyes open to look at her.

“Hello, Crypto.” Key said softly. “Did you have a nice nap?”

Crypto stared blankly at her for a moment. Then, his soft, foalish face widened in a smile, and he made a noise of recognition.

“Yes, it’s your mommy!” Key said, leaning into the pram and giving her son a nuzzle, eliciting a giggle from the baby colt. “Hello!”

“Gah!” Crypto chortled. “Gah bah!”

Key giggled with him, pulling back out of the pram. “I was watching Bubblegum earlier. Do you know she’s going to do a live show next week?”

“Bah?”

“Yes, Bubblegum!”

“Bah bah!”

Key shook her head. “Ah… you’ll get it one day. I reckon you’ll love Bubblegum when you’re older. She’s so energetic and full of life, like… I swear, every kid loves her. It’s impossible not to.”

“Bo…” Crypto babbled, looking up at her curiously now.

Key stopped the pram, thinking to herself. “I mean, they’re all pretty great. Shimmerlight does her thing with keeping the Dark away, and Sunshine makes sure that we all have food at the end of the day…” She frowned in thought. “And Purebloom does a lot of conservation work… but she doesn’t have a lot of shows, so I don’t know much about her.” She looked back down at the infant unicorn, her smile returning. “But Bubblegum is just impossible to dislike. Once you’re older, I’m gonna take you to every meet-and-sign, every-”

Pop.

A sudden explosion of force, fabric and warm wetness sent Key stumbling back as something instantly appeared in front of her. She blinked, and then double blinked, and though she probably should have screamed, shock prevented her from making a sound.

Standing before her, in the crimson-stained plastic and cloth that had once been her pram, was the blue-and-pink form of Bubblegum, Keeper of Joy, who was looking back at her with the same look of alarm that Key was currently wearing. She looked dishevelled, her eyes wild, and parts of her cotton-candy mane were dotted with red.

Bubblegum opened her mouth, then closed it.

“Um…” She said hesitantly.

They stared at each other for a moment.

Then, with a flash of light and a pop, Bubblegum disappeared. The red that had stained her mane splattered to the ground.

Key-Tap was frozen, her brain running around in circles trying to make sense of what had just happened. After a moment, she became dimly aware that there was something dripping down her face, and she reached her foreleg up to wipe it off.

She looked at her hoof. It was blood.

“…Crypto?” She said in a horrified whisper.

Part 1-2

In one of the outer suburbs of Harmonia, there was a small brick house, lined with a rickety picket fence and surrounded by overgrown shrubs. It was located at the very end of a dead-end street, and looked like a home that should’ve been condemned a very long time ago.

It was the home of Batterhooves, veteran of the Silver Guard and one of the greatest stallions to have faced the monsters of the Dark.

In his backyard, among the overgrown weeds and grasses, the grizzled brown earth pony jumped back with a grunt, ignoring the limp in his back leg. He adjusted the baton he gripped in his teeth, barking out, “Parry! Quickly!”

In front of him, in the middle of a circle of training dummies, was a pegasus with a light grey coat, light blue eyes, and a deep blue mane that was neatly combed to the side. His eyes were narrowed, focused, watching the dummies as they spun on their mechanical axes. Beside him hovered a circular, crystal shield, glowing with a faint white light. This pegasus was Quartz Cloud, second-born of House Sympathy, and trainee under Batterhooves.

One of the dummies spun its wooden weapon towards him. Cloud’s eyes narrowed, and the shield spun around to neatly deflect the blow, held aloft only by Cloud’s will.

He sensed movement behind him, ducking and leaping to the side as his shield swung back, deflecting the blow from the dummy behind him.

“Keep yer focus!” Batterhooves shouted out, slowly advancing towards the pegasus. “A darkbeas’ will rip yer ‘ead off if you slip for even a moment!”

The shield moved like a shimmering blur, deflecting blow after blow from the dummies, all the while Cloud ducked and weaved between the attacks he couldn’t deflect.

“Fashter! Don’ get overwhelmed!”

The shield smashed into one of the dummies, splintering it into pieces.

Batterhooves was close now, the pegasus barely noticing him. “Tha’sh it! Like that!”

Cloud grunted, completely focused on the training. His shield swung around, the bladed edge carving into the wooden dummies.

“Don’ ferget abou’ surprise attacksh!” Batterhooves shouted, charging forth with his baton.

On instinct, Cloud willed the shield in between him and his mentor. The shield flashed with a sudden burst of light and a wave of force exploded from its surface, sending the elder stallion flying backward through the air.

“Fuck!” He cried as he flew, landing heavily and rolling on the ground two metres away.

Cloud’s eyes widened in horror as he realised what he’d done. He ducked under the blow of the next dummy and dismissed the shield, its crystalline surface disintegrating into nothing. He galloped towards the fallen form of his mentor, and cried, “Master Batterhooves! Are you…?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” The grizzled veteran said quickly, shakily standing up. “Been through pleny worse.”

Cloud moved to try and help him up. “Please, forgive me, I was-!”

“Boy, if there ain’t nothin’ broken, then there ain’t nothin’ worth cryin’ over!” Batterhooves told him, waving away the help. “Ah said I’m fine, didn’ I?”

“Alright… if you insist.” Cloud stepped back awkwardly. “Um… I’ll just, resume, then?”

“Nah. Ain’t no point.”

Cloud blinked in confusion. Batterhooves just chuckled, giving him a misshapen grin that bore no small amount of pride.

“Boy, there ain’t a thing left that I can teach you.” He explained.

Cloud stared at him as he processed this. Then, a smile broke out across his face.

Quartz Cloud had always found Batterhooves to be a respectable, although thoroughly strange pony. A head injury late into the old stallion’s career had gotten him dismissed, and left him with a speech impediment and, Cloud suspected, a not insignificant number of personality quirks. Despite all that, he respected the veteran guard for his martial expertise, and he easily trusted the stallion with his life.

“Never understood why the Keepersh go on ‘bout solvin’ problems ‘diplomatically.’” Batterhooves told him later in the evening, as they sat and ate around a barrel fire. “When yer on the borderlan’s, fightin’ off the Dark, you don’ get very far fightin’ a wraith by tryin’ to give it a hug. Gimme a sword or a shield, that’ll sort out any problem.”

Cloud grimaced as he chewed down on the vegetable stew before him. Batterhooves was many things – a four-star chef was not one of them. He forced himself to swallow, then he said, “You’re a well of wisdom, master Batterhooves.”

“Damn right Ah am!” Batterhooves said proudly, chucking some more logs into the steel barrel. “S’ why yer father trusted yer trainin’ to me! The stallion migh’ be an up-imself cunt, and I migh’ be livin’ in a hovel, but I’m worth ten of his so-called soldiers, easy! An’ he knows tha’.”

Cloud chuckled. “Please. Less vulgarity.”

“Eh.” Batterhooves grunted, limping back over to him. “Reminds me, actually. Got a call from yer father this mornin’. Wantin’ to know how yer trainin’ was goin’.”

Cloud’s smile slipped off his face. He sighed, and muttered, “Well, it’s about the only reason he ever calls. What did you tell him?”

“Same thin’ as usual.” Batterhooves said with a shrug. “Told ‘im that you’d exceeded me, or anypony else I’d ever trained. Ah said that the folk ‘round ‘ere loved you, that the Bronzies ‘ere loved workin’ with ya. Told ‘im that even them righteous pricks at the church liked ya. An’ he said that was good, ‘cause Diamondsong had quit.”

Cloud’s eyes shot open, and he choked on the mouthful of soup he had tried to swallow. It took him a moment to recover, and after he had, he looked up at his mentor, who was just looking at him impassively. “Wait, she…?”

“Quit.” Batterhooves repeated bluntly. “Jush left. I asked why, he jush said that it didn’ concern me. Told me that you’d be ascended teh Keeper in three months.”

Cloud stared at him in complete shock. He blinked a couple of times, trying to come to terms with this. “I…?”

“Yer days of bein’ shunted to the side are over.” Batterhooves said with a lopsided smile. “Yer goin’ to the big leaguesh.”

Cloud opened and closed his mouth a couple of times as he began to understand. He slowly stood up, a foolish grin spreading across his face. “I’m… I’m going to be a Keeper?”

“Yep. First stallion Keeper in a while, actually.”

“But… that’s incredible!” Cloud exclaimed, starting to pace around in excitement. “I… I don’t know what to say! This all so sudden, it…”

Something occurred to him, and he slowed down. He looked back at Batterhooves, concerned. “Wait… what about you?”

“…Well…” Batterhooves looked away, shrugging his shoulders. “He didn’ say as much… but I suspect that our arrangement’s come to an end. And I don’t wanna ‘ear you complainin’, or whingin’, or nothin’.” He snapped before Cloud could say anything. “Like Ah said, you don’ need me no more. Yer movin’ up and the world, Ah can’t come wit ya, an’ that’s just fine.”

The old pony looked away for a moment, before adding, “Still… might not kill ya to call once in a while. To show you haven’ forgot ‘bout old Batterhooves.”

Cloud didn’t say anything for a moment, looking away with no small amount of sadness. Then, he looked at his now former mentor, standing straight, evened his gaze and put his right forehood over his chest in a salute. “It’s been an honour training under you, Captain Batterhooves.”

Batterhooves nodded, returning the salute. “As it’sh been to train you.”

Harmonia Central Park was exploding with activity. In the centre of the park upon the grass, the beautifully monochrome Princess Shimmerlight was entertaining a gaggle of young foals, regaling them with stories of Harmonia’s past. On the edge of the park within a fence-enclosed area, teenage ponies stared in awe as Purebloom, Keeper of Innocence, gently pulled a brush through the fur of a large, sleeping grizzly bear. The lime-green earth pony, her violet eyes and shy smile obscured by her long, butter-yellow hair, reassured her audience that the carnivore was her friend and wouldn’t think of hurting them. Eventually, some of the braver ones slowly approached to touch the creature, amazed by its passivity.

In a gazebo not too far from both groups was a gathering of adult ponies, watching their children from afar. A couple of guards, each clad in golden, metal armour, stood to each side of the structure, though everyone knew that their presence was for show. They talked and chatted amongst themselves, discussing what had brought them here, drinking from a communal champagne bowl and dining on platters of light food.

A unicorn stallion approached the gazebo. From afar, he could’ve easily been mistaken for Shimmerlight herself – his coat was a similar silvery white and his neatly combed mane a stark black. He stepped up and walked into the centre of the gazebo. His horn glowed a deep blue, the same blue as his eyes, and at his will, a soft chiming sound came forth and drew everypony’s attention to him.

“Welcome, everypony, to Bardigrand!” He greeted them, his voice young and light. “My name is Mythril Shield. I’m the Constant of the Six Houses. Now, I’m sure that many of you know who I am, and what I do.” He started to pace. “However, there are just as many who are guests within Harmonia. I can see Mister Rockencolt from South Mareland…”

Mythril gestured to an earth pony near the centre of the room, who nodded back politely.

“…And I can see Silvaron from Bleakstone Reach over there.” He added, pointing to a black-feathered gryphon at the back. The avian nodded curtly in acknowledgement.

“So, for the sake of you newcomers, I’ll explain myself.” Mythril said brightly. “You see, the Houses and the Keepers of Harmony have many responsibilities – and not an inconsiderable amount of power within Harmonia. To ensure that things are kept in balance, there are two ponies who exist outside of the Houses and work to keep ponies united. There’s the High Priestess, Lady Aria, who sadly couldn’t be here today. She works to makes sure that the Houses adhere to the divine conduct, as described by the Sun Queen herself.

“Then, there’s the Constant. My job is to coordinate endeavours and resolve disputes between the Houses. I also manage the Keepers, acting as their in-house advisor, confidant, and, whenever necessary, I help them reconcile after arguments or differences.” Mythril smiled. “In short, I ensure that the Houses remain equal in their power.”

“If I may enquire,” One of the guests spoke up. “You bear a striking resemblance to the Princess. Are you also of House Unity?”

“Shimmerlight is my sister, but I am not of House Unity.” Mythril replied. Before the question could come, he explained, “When I was given the title of Constant, I was required, as per tradition, to sever most of my ties to House Unity. It sounds heartless, but it means that I can do my work as Constant with neutrality, and without bias. Speaking of…”

His horn glowed again, and an illusion formed before him. It was the illusion of a tall, silver tower with a lantern-shaped top, not unlike a lighthouse. The base of the tower was elegantly curved, holding up the tip of the tower like a brazier.

“This is a Purity Tower.” Mythril explained. “These magical engines take the magic generated by friendship and community, and they use that magic to protect people against the monsters of the Dark. Smaller Purity Towers simply raise protective barriers to keep out the Dark. This one, however, will do more than that. It’ll actively dispel any nearby creatures of the Dark and prevent any night storms from occurring within… oh, I’d say… five-hundred miles? Even just one of these can cover a major city, plus the surrounding farmland, providing virtual immunity to the Dark.”

He heard the guests murmur amongst themselves, impressed. One of them asked, “And how much will one of these towers cost, exactly?”

“To build and sufficiently enchant this tower? Two-hundred million GP. I’m sure that sounds like a hefty price,” He added as the guests’ murmuring grew louder. “Especially considering that many of you want more than one. But any price is a small price to pay for protection against the Dark. And once one of these things starts going, the maintenance costs are less than negligible. All a Purity Tower needs to run is a single scion of the Houses to be nearby – that’s it. That initial cost is the only cheque you’ll sign… and it’ll be well worth it.”

They weren’t angry. They were curious, even. But they weren’t convinced yet.

“Of course, you could all continue with your current protections.” He said, pacing around the illusion. “You could continue using warding circles, proven time and time again to be unreliable. You could continue with force barriers, which shatter quickly in night storms. You could continue fighting the Dark with blade and bullet…” His face turned serious. “…And I think we all know the costs of that.

He paused briefly to let them think. “I can tell you now that this is the safest, most reliable protection against the Dark on the continent – bar none. You’re not paying for nothing – you’re paying for the knowledge that you’ll never have to fear the Dark again.” He shrugged. “The choice is yours.”

He smiled as he watched they began talking once more, knowing exactly what choice they would make.

Part 1-3

Key-Tap sat through Crypto’s funeral in a dazed, silent state. She had donned a dark blue dress for it, not having the money or the will to buy decent funeral attire. She remembered that ponies had gotten up at the church podium to speak, but she didn’t listen to what they said. She remembered a dozen ponies telling her that they were sorry, that their hearts went out to her, and they all sounded the same. Admittedly, there wasn’t a whole lot to say. Crypto had been so young that nopony had gotten the chance to known him.

They kept calling it an accident.

They were back at the apartment now, though Key didn’t remember going back. It was a small place covered with drab, grey wallpaper, with only a living room, a kitchen, a bedroom, and a suddenly empty nursery. She was sitting before the television as it broadcast something that she wasn’t paying attention to. The scene kept replaying itself in her head, the image of the Keeper of Joy suddenly appearing where her son had been, and then disappearing, leaving behind nothing but the gore-soaked ruins of a foal’s pram.

Key felt Firewall walk up and take a seat on the couch beside her. Slowly, she turned to look at him. Like her, he hadn’t bothered to change out of his funeral attire, that being a cheap black coat and a black tie. His eyes were red from tears, and he was looking at her with a flat, emotionless face. Wordlessly, he put one of his forelegs around her shoulders and brought her in for a hug. She laid her head on his chest without really acknowledging the embrace, staring ahead at nothing.

After a moment, the reality of the situation hit her like a bus. Tears welled in her eyes and a choked sob escaped her mouth. She wrapped her forehooves around him and buried her head in his chest, weeping and wailing without a care for how loud she was being.

Firewall, for his part, simply held her as tight as he could, murmuring quietly, “I’ve got you.” He didn’t tell her that it was okay, or that it was going to be alright, because they both knew that it wasn’t. Nothing was okay and it might never be okay again.

She didn’t know how long it took for the crying to stop. She felt a hiccup escape her throat, followed by a whimper, tears continuing to flow free down her face. She heard somepony speaking on the television. She looked up at it, and she felt something catch in her throat.

It was a news reel, the star-shaped Channel 5 logo on the bottom right, with the cameras focused on an orange mare with a white, curly mane, who stood speaking before a crowd of microphones. Behind her was the blue and pink form of Bubblegum, an awkward, yet solemn look on her face. The wall behind them displayed an outline of three tied-together party balloons – the symbol of House Joy.

“Gods, let-” Firewall muttered, his horn glowing as he telekinetically reached for the remote. “I’ll just…”

“No.” Key said quickly. Then, more evenly, she added, “Leave it on.”

He hesitated, then released his grip. The thin metal instrument fell softly upon the sofa as Key looked at the screen intently.

“…Rest assured, House Joy is reeling over this tragic accident as much as anypony else is.” The mare was saying to the camera. “Our hearts are going out towards Crypto’s family, who are undoubtably going through a horribly traumatic experience, and we wish them all the best. I’d like to invite Bubblegum, Keeper of Joy, to the podium now. I believe she has something she’d like to say.”

The mare stepped aside to allow Bubblegum to walk up to the microphone. She seemed to struggle for words for a moment, then she said, “I, uh… I’d like to say that I’m sorry – and I know that I wronged them, I do…” She looked away from the cameras, a miserable expression on her face. “…But I know that won’t mean much the ponies I hurt this week.”

Key-Tap stared at the screen silently.

“I had received word that a, uh… a member of the Cult of Khaos had broken out.” Bubblegum continued, facing the camera now. “I was trying to find him quickly, so I was just… popping around the city, trying to find him… and… I just…” She teared up. “I had no idea that he was there, and-!” She cut herself off and looked away, her hoof going to her mouth.

Key stared at her.

“…I just wish I could express how horrible I feel!” Bubblegum cried, returning to the cameras with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how it happened, or-! And… and, look, I don’t want anyone pestering that family with questions, alright?” She said emphatically, almost accusingly. “They’re going through enough right now because of me. I… I don’t want them to have to re-live it.”

She stepped back, her head bowed in shame. The spokesmare took the podium again, saying, “Miss Bubblegum will not be taking any questions today. I, however, will speak on behalf…”

“…She’s lying.” Key-Tap said in shock.

“…What?” Firewall asked after a moment.

Key-Tap pushed herself off of Firewall. “I- I brought this up. In an ask panel, like two years ago!” She exclaimed. “I asked her how she knew not to tele- not to- and she told me that she knew if her destination was occupied by someone or- or something- she’s-!” Key stammered, staring at the screen in despair and disbelief. “Why is she…?”

The news switched back to the studio, moving onto some other story. Key just stared at the screen, her thoughts flying around in circles.

“…Um…” Firewall spoke up. “At the funeral… I don’t know if you remember, but… there was somepony from House Joy there. He said that he needed to talk to you.”

“What?” Key turned to her coltfriend in bewilderment. “Why do they…?”

“I don’t know, he just said that it was just a formality, or… something.” He said quietly, looking away. “I told him that today wasn’t good, and… well, he’ll be coming by tomorrow. At around eleven.”

Key-Tap looked at him for a moment, then she turned back to the television. “…Okay.”

The next day found Key and Firewall sitting at the plastic fold-out table they had instead of a dining table, watching uncertainly as the House Joy stallion unpacked his things. He was an old unicorn with a grey coat, a black mane, and a serious, neutral expression on his face. He was nothing at all like the colourful, bombastic spokesponies of House Joy that Key had grown up seeing. He looked like he hadn’t been joyful in fifty years.

Silently, the stallion placed a thick stack of paper on the table, bound within a large, neon-pink folder with House Joy’s symbol upon it, worsening the visual dissonance.

“Before we begin, I would like to extend my sympathies towards you.” The stallion told her in an old and weathered voice. “I understand that this has been a traumatic experience for both of you, and House Joy has no wish to… exacerbate the situation. Indeed, we want to make the next steps as painless as we can.”

Key and Firewall continued to look at him silently, still not sure what was going on.

“To this end, the House is willing to give the two of you a sum of forty-thousand gold pieces.” He told them.

It took the young lovers a moment to process this. When they did, their eyes widened, and they shared a glance at each other. Wondering if she had misheard, Key leant forward and asked, “Forty…?”

“Thousand, yes. It won’t bring your son back,” He admitted, briefly looking away. “But it’s the least we can do. To claim it, I just need Miss Key-Tap to sign this.” His horn glowed briefly, and the pink binder pushed itself towards Key.

Firewall frowned, asking, “Don’t I need to sign anything?”

“Miss Key-Tap was the only one who was witness to the accident. Only she needs to sign.” A small ink-pen with a mouth grip levitated towards her. “You can use my pen, if you wish.”

An uncomfortably heavy weight settled in Key’s gut. Slowly, she looked down and opened up the binder, reading the document within.

She scanned the first few pages, trying to read through the dense legalese.

She read through the next couple of pages.

Then she flipped the document back to the first page.

Key looked back up at the lawyer. “…This is a non-disclosure agreement.”

“It’s a confidentiality agreement, actually.” The lawyer replied.

Key stared at the page of neatly typed text before her, slowly reading the list of clauses and statements, trying to get a grip on what she was reading. She didn’t need to read too far before she got the gist of it. The only way that they could get that money was if Key promised not to tell anyone what she had seen.

Look, I don’t want anyone pestering that family with questions, alright?

“…You’re paying us… to keep me quiet.” Key-Tap said slowly.

“The agreement is written to keep both parties safe.” The lawyer said in his croaky, monotone voice. “This way, neither you nor House Joy will be affected-”

“You’re paying us to keep me quiet!” Key-Tap repeated, more forcefully this time. There were tears in her eyes again, but they weren’t tears of grief this time.

She glared up at the lawyer, who was looking away from her. He seemed to think for a moment before speaking. “It’s a mutually beneficial agreement, Miss Key-Tap. We’ve made it so that you don’t have to worry about having to… relive your experience. I understand if parts of the contract aren’t agreeable with you...”

Key couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Furiously, she leant forward and shouted, “This isn’t what House Joy stands for! You’re supposed to represent happiness, and community, and shit! Why the fuck are you trying to stop me from telling people what Bubblegum did?”

“Key…” Firewall said worriedly, but Key paid him no heed.

“I watched my five-month-old baby explode!” Key-Tap snarled, standing with her forehooves on the table. Tears of rage were pouring down her face now. “She teleported into him, and she knew he was there! You ponies keep calling it an accident-!”

“And I sympathise with you.” The lawyer told her, his voice remaining neutral and flat. “We know what you’re going through, and we-”

“Oh, yeah? Then say that you’re sorry!” Key challenged. “Ponies have been saying that to us all week, but I haven’t heard a single pony from House Joy say to my face that they’re actually sorry! You don’t give a shit about any of this!”

“Key!” Firewall cried, sounding alarmed now.

“Go on! Tell me that you’re sorry!” Key demanded angrily. “Tell me that you care!”

The lawyer remained silent and still, not saying a word. But the cold look in his eyes told Key everything that she needed to know.

“…Get the fuck out of my house, I’m not signing anything.” Key snapped, sitting back down and gesturing furiously towards the door. “I’m not letting you get away with this, I’m going to fight this as hard as I fucking can.”

“Do you have a lawyer?” The older stallion asked dryly.

That single statement pulled the reins on her anger, stopping her in her tracks and leaving her paralysed.

Calmly, almost completely unperturbed by Key’s outburst, the stallion began the pack up his things. He pulled the binder back, putting it into the bag by his side. Then, he telekinetically pulled out a small business card from the bag and slid it towards the couple. It had a number and a name on it.

“For when you change your mind.” He said simply.

And with that, he stood up and left.

Part 1-4

Each of the Houses had their own castle in the middle of Bardigrand, each citadel an architectural marvel in its own right, and each built around a central castle called the Beacon – named so because it was a beacon of hope, unity and order in Harmonia. Its massive spires, glorious arches and expansive garden formed the home of the Keepers and contained the office of the Constant who oversaw them.

There was a crowd of ponies before the bridge that led into the Beacon, most of whom were holding cameras for pictures and television alike. They were swarming before the end of the bridge, with a line of ponies in steel plate armour keeping the crowd from progressing any further. Many of the journalists were standing in front of their own television crew, speaking into a microphone and out to their viewers.

The crowd started to part as an autocarriage trundled its way towards the bridge. The vehicle was built like a horse-drawn carriage, made from a rich dark wood and gilded with gold, but nopony was pulling the reins. Instead, there was a circular red crystal at the front of the carriage, a magical sensor that guided the carriage along its route. The carriage pushed itself down the road, slowly stopping at the front of the bridge as the crowd circled around it.

Quartz Cloud looked out the window of the carriage, nervously murmuring, “Impressive crowd.”

“Are you surprised?”

Cloud turned back to the other pegasus in the carriage, sitting upon the red velvet seats. His father had a sky-blue coat and a white, swept-back mane. His face was lined with wrinkles and he had a tight smile on his snout.

“Somewhat.” Cloud admitted. “I don’t remember Diamondsong having quite as many cameras on her.”

“Diamond’s ascension was fairly ordinary, all things considered. You’re special.” Lord Crystalus told him, his voice dry and reedy. “You’re the first male Keeper in eighty years, and the first who’s come from a violent profession.”

Cloud’s frown deepened. “I worked with the Bronze Guard, not for them. And I’d hardly call it a ‘violent’ job.”

“There are many who would.” Crystalus said flatly. “The point is that ponies don’t know what to expect from you, which is precisely what makes this first impression so important.” The elder stallion’s gaze narrowed at him critically. “Now, do you remember the speech we gave you?”

“After reciting it so many times, I don’t think I could forget it.” Cloud replied. “I still don’t see what was wrong with mine.”

“It had the right message, but the wording was… well, let’s just say that wordsmithing is not one of your talents, Quartz.” Crystalus said, in a tone that was supposed to be sympathetic, but instead sounded demeaning.

There was a knock at the carriage door, prompting Cloud’s attention. The guards had parted the crowd so as to form a path directly towards the bridge, and standing outside the carriage was a gold-yellow earth pony with a dark orange mane tied into two, braided pigtails. She sported a red neckerchief, a dozen freckles, and a confident smile on her face. Cloud recognised her on sight – Sunshine Heart, Keeper of Plenty.

Cloud turned to his father and said tersely, “I much prefer ‘Cloud’.”

With that, he stepped out of the autocarriage and into the sunlight. Immediately, he was assailed by the shouting of journalists and the flashing of cameras. He winced.

“Ah, just ignore ‘em.” Sunshine told him, her thick southern drawl cutting through the din. “They just wan’cha to look their way fer a photograph. Come along, now.”

“Right.” Cloud said quietly, still overwhelmed.

He followed her down the path towards a set of stairs, up which was a podium bearing the insignias of the Six Houses. Beyond that was the bridge that led over to the Beacon. A mere thirty, fifty feet away.

Trotting beside him, Sunshine chuckled. “Hoo, boy. Y’all really are shakin’ like a bag full of mice, ain’tcha?”

Cloud blinked, then turned to her. “I’m sorry?”

The cowmare smirked. “Y’all look scared.”

“Oh!” He laughed nervously. “I… apologise. I guess that I’m still coming to grips with all of this.”

“Yeah, Ah get ya.” Sunshine nodded. “Firs’ time Ah walked up this road, I was scared right outta mah skull. Ain’t exactly how ya’ll pictured it, innit?”

“I can’t say. I’ve never really thought about being a Keeper.”

At that, Sunshine laughed again. A hearty, amused laugh. “Nice try, mister Quartz Cloud, but I think ya’ll forgot about mah divine gift.”

Cloud looked down at the smirking mare. He had forgotten. He remembered Shimmerlight’s mastery over magic and Lightning Streak’s control over weather, because such effects were both powerful and noticeable. Sunshine’s divine gift was more subtle – she knew when other ponies- were lying.

“…You got me.” Cloud admitted with a chuckle. “I’ve fantasized about this, yes, but I never took them very seriously.” They were at the bottom of the steps now. “I always figured that by the time Dia stepped down, I’d be far too old for the job.”

“Yeah, I hear ya.” Sunshine nodded. Her smile slipped somewhat. “Shame that she left, I’ll tell ya. Did ya’ll know her that well?”

“Not as well as I should’ve, if I’m honest.” He replied. “I was surprised to hear she resigned, though. She was the ambitious sort, not the type that’d simply up and leave.”

“Yeah, took us all by surprise.” Sunshine shrugged. “Left without as much as a goodbye, she did.”

Cloud frowned as they walked up the steps to the podium, thinking to himself.

“Ah, well. Can’t change what’s been done!” Sunshine said brightly, stepping to the side of the podium. “Crowd’s a-waitin’, greenhorn.”

The silver-grey pegasus stepped in front of the podium, facing the sea of cameras and microphones before him. They quietened, and Cloud felt a surge of nervousness build within him. He did his best to swallow it before speaking into the microphone before him.

“I…” He hesitated, cleared his throat, then chuckled. “You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve never done this before.”

The crowd laughed a little bit. He felt a little more at ease.

Cloud tried again. “I… will like to first say a few words regarding my sister, Diamondsong, one of the greatest Keepers of House Sympathy, in my opinion.” He said to the crowd. “She was – and is – a clever, concise and charitable pony, who never stopped to think before helping someone or giving aid to those who needed it. We… did not speak much, I will admit. She was always working on some kind of project, and I had my duties working with the Bronze Guard. Neither of us really had the time to talk with one another.

“But I watched her. We all watched her evolve into the gracious, sympathetic mare we remember her to be. We watched her defeat the Nightmare and seal away Khaos. We saw her open the Amethyst Museum, establish the Silver Lining charity, and we admired her as she put aside her own needs to help those less fortunate than her every step of the way.” Cloud paused to catch his breath. “I know that many of you want to know why she chose to step down, and I’m afraid I can’t indulge you. I have been told that her reasons were personal, and that she didn’t wish to have them disclosed.

“I know that many of you are doubtful as to how well I’ll ‘measure up’ to her.” Cloud said. “I am as well. I cannot outshine her achievements. We all know that.” He took a deep breath, then straightened himself. “But what I can promise is that I won’t let her down. I won’t let Harmonia down. I will do everything in my power to ensure that we can live safe, peaceful lives, free from the monsters of the Dark. Because that is what I stand for. I stand for the same things that House Sympathy stands for – charity, compassion, and, of course, community.”

He smiled at the crowd and nodded to let them know that he was done. A chorus of hooves clapping against each other followed. He straightened his back and tried to make himself look as presentable as possible.

Behind him, Sunshine smiled and clapped with the crowd, trying to keep her face pleasant and happy despite her feeling of unease.

He hadn’t spoken a single lie during that entire speech.

“…Key?”

Key-Tap looked up from the papers she was reading with a jolt. Firewall was standing in the doorway, staring at her.

“Oh… hey, Firewall.” She muttered, standing up from the fold-out table. “Uh… don’t mind all this.” She gestured wildly at piles of documents stacked precariously on the plastic surface. “This is just… research.”

“Research?” Firewall said worriedly, stepping into the kitchen with her.

“Yeah.” Key ran a hoof through her mane, trying to straighten it out to no avail. “On, like, the Keepers. Turns out they’re like Bronzies, where they legally can’t be prosecuted if they’re on the job.” She trotted over to the fridge and opened it. “I’ve been looking at the laws since this morning, but they’re so dense, I don’t…”

“Key, I said that I’d take your shift today because I wanted you to relax!” Firewall protested.

“Not until I’ve found something!” Key snapped, a little angrier than she meant it to be. “There has to be something, anything that can help us! I can’t stop until I find it!”

Firewall looked between his marefriend and the stacks of papers sitting on the table. “Okay… but even if we find something, we’ll need a lawyer. And… Key, we just don’t have the money.”

Key pulled out an un-branded glass bottle of soda from the fridge, holding the top by her teeth and saying, somewhat muffled, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’ll work ten jobs if I have to.”

She put the bottle on the counter, gripping the bottle-cap with her teeth and, with her strong equine jaw, tearing it off and spitting it to the side somewhere. She brought the glass to her lips and drank from it heartily. She put it back on the counter with a sigh, then noticed that Firewall was still staring at her.

“Uh… it’s home-brand stuff. From Magimart.” She explained. “Tastes like… pure cancer-water, but at least it doesn’t have Bubblegum’s face staring at me.”

“Key…”

“Have you noticed that? How she just plasters her face on anything with sugar in it?” Key rambled.

“Key.”

Key stopped talking, noticing something off about Firewall’s tone. When she met his eyes, he looked away, an uneasy expression on his face.

“…What?” Key asked him, somewhat fearfully. “What’s wrong?”

“…Key, listen…” Firewall said slowly. “I’ve… I’ve been thinking.”

He went quiet, still not looking at her. Anxiously, Key prodded him. “…About?”

“I…” He winced, still looking away. This time, it was Key-Tap who was looking concerned for him.

“…Firewall, you can tell me.” Key said softly. “What is it?”

Firewall swallowed. “…Gods, there’s no good way of saying this.” He glanced at her briefly, then returned to staring intently at the wall. “…I think we should just take the money.”

Key-Tap stared at him.

“Just- before you argue, I- I just don’t think we can do anything.” Firewall told her. “I mean, we’re talking about fighting House Joy, Key. It’s… it’s insane.”

Key-Tap kept staring at him.

“Even if we can afford a lawyer, they can afford ones that are better and tougher. You’ve seen how nobles can stretch court cases over years – they can do the same thing! I…” Firewall sighed. “…I think it’ll hurt us, if we fight it. And I don’t want to see you any more…”

Slowly, Key walked past him.

“…hurt than you already… Key?”

She marched straight towards the door, almost running as she flung it open.

“Key, wait!”

Ignoring him, she disappeared outside and slammed the door shut behind her.

Firewall started to pursue her, then stopped. Staring at the door, he sighed hopelessly and ran a hoof through his mane in worry.

Behind him, the documents scattered to the floor.