Twilight's Rule

by destinedjagold

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 1058

One day, during Twilight's rule...

One day, during Twilight's rule...

Published 2021-04-01 11:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-01 11:20:01 UTC

01

One day the sun was pulled up by Twilight who was a princess because she was transformed into an alicorn after she completed some bullshit spell from that one book in whatever season finale it was but anyway she was also the ruler of the whole Equestria place now because Celestia and Luna who were both the previous rulers they decided it was time for them to retire and give all the ruling responsibilities to the green horn Twilight Sparkle but she is purple why did I say she had a green horn well anyway obviously Twilight cannot rule by herself because she does not have any experience at all in ruling the nation so she decided to call upon her other friends to help her manage the country like the white unicorn Rarity will probably handle finance and then the orange earth pony Applejack will probably handle the food industry and land thingies I don't know I am just a fanfic writer I don't know this stuff I didn't do research because that's dumb like Rainbow Dash who completely agrees with me that she's dumb but anyway the blue pegasus will probably handle the weather and entertainment or something and then the other pegasus with a beautiful pink mane Fluttershy who is a gentle soul who was able to reign in the Lord of Freaking Chaos for some goddamn reason will probably handle the animal control or something and who else oh yeah Pinkie Pie will probably handle the entertainment not Rainbow Dash because let's be real if Rainbow Dash handles that it would get boring pretty fast because it would probably be about her all the time but maybe both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie can work together or something but no I am not shipping them because Pinkie Pie will end up with Cheese Sandwich anyway and everyone knows that Rainbow Dash is so lesbian towards Applejack I honestly don't know how they got together but I am still intrigued nonetheless I hope it gets explored in the comic or something please Hasbro give us that wait does Hasbro handle the comic or something I dunno I should look this up ahem anyway so who else did I miss oh right Starlight will probably handle the student enrollment or something with Trixie and then Sunset does she even matter she lives on the other side of the mirror now so I guess she doesn't matter in this story but anyway oh right Spike well he's been pretty useless almost always in the entire run of the show so he's probably gonna be as useless as ever even though I kinda like him but holy shiet do I hate the episodes that center around him like aarrggghhh ahem sorry let's continue so one day after Twilight Sparkle pulled up the sun from the sleepy horizon she walks back inside her room from her balcony and then went back to bed but then the doors suddenly fly open and she was surprised so she whips her head towards her doorless door to see a shadowy miasma or something but it reminds Twilight of that weird wispy black mist that she kept seeing from the corner of her eyes when she and her friends had their first adventure as a group through the Everfree Forest wow that was a long time ago oh my god it reminded me of how old I am what am I doing with my life what have I achieved why am I still here writing this I should go outside and do something oh but wait I can't because we are on lockdown because of this stupid virus thing like why am I living in a historic event I didn't ask for this damn it I want a redo maybe if I die I will be isekai'd into another world hopefully in Equestria so I can be with the ponies and then oh wait why am I suddenly standing in the castle gardens and the guards in purple armor are all looking at me all weird like holy shiet what am I gonna do oh god their spears are so pointy and their horns are so pointy too sorry I cannot think of a different word other than pointy because I AM IN EQUESTRIA WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID I GET HERE and then we hear a scream from above oh no it sounded like Twilight so the guards and I ran inside the castle and up the spiraling staircase towards the princess' chamber but what the fuck why did they not make an elevator yet and oh my god my knees hurt from all this running I am seriously getting old now wait why am I hovering oh god I hope I didn't turn into some OP character with game-like stats and powers oh the unicorn guard below me is using his magic to float me with him that his really nice of him I can tell we are gonna be really good friends after this but anyway we finally reach the end of the stairs thank god how many minutes did that take us wait why are there no pegasus guards well I probably didn't see them well anyway the guards are all rushing towards the doorless door up ahead and I am still being levitated and then we enter and we see Twilight is evil now she has black mist oozing all over her alicorn body and she is looking at us with evil eyes and then she laughs and tells us that she is now Nightmare Twilight and then she goes on a looooong monologue like holy shiet she sounds like Twilight explaining about boring stuff you know what I mean she explains every single piece of detail IN GREAT DETAIL we've been listening to her for HOURS now and as her friends and the guards lock her up behind bars in the castle underground prison SHE IS STILL NOT DONE WITH HER MONOLOGUE like fuck this I am going out to the world and maybe find a job now I wonder if I can work in Applejack's farm wait wait WAIT I CAN WITNESS HOW APPLEJACK AND RAINBOW DASH FELL IN LOVE OH MY GOD FRONT ROW SEATS BABY!

Author's Note

Happy April Fools!