Retirement In Equestria

by Movingtarget Productions

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Profanity, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 7073

lets see how a retired CEO can handle Equestria

CANCELED DUE TO WAY TOO MUCH CRITICISM

The typical HiE but a bit different, lets see how Thomas Matthew, a retired CEO for a major shipping company, can take Equestria (DO NOT POST IN RANDOM GROUPS PLEASE)

Special Thanks to Geo Breaker for letting me use his OC's
Click/tap here for Ebony and Lucky Spark's backstory

UPDATE: due to a new character, im putting in the 'sex' tag for light sex related talk/stuff

Published 2021-04-12 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-01 07:06:47 UTC

Chapter 1 A normal day for 2 worlds, until its not

Chapter 1 A normal day for 2 worlds, until its not

It was 9 AM when Thomas Matthew emerged from his room in eastern Wood County, Ohio and he had just retired from being a CEO for 5 years and was enjoying life. "Wonder what's on the news, and the coffee is needed," he said as he turned the TV and Keurig on and made coffee, "Ugh same old shit every morning, accidents, shootings, the St. Jude Dream Home Giveaway, god I need to stop watching the news for a while" he then changed over to Netflix and quened the first episode of MLP FIM and watched till about 11:00 AM, "I wish my entire home was transported to Equestria so I could live with the ponies and hopefully have a better life than here." What Thomas didn't realize was that dream was about to come true within a short bit…

Lucky Sparks woke up in her cloud mansion 1 mile SW from Cloudsdale where she lived with her twin sister Ebony Sparks. As she trotted happily downstairs, she was greeted by Ebony.

"Good morning Lucky, I hoped you slept well?" Ebony said after sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Yes, I did Ebony!" Lucky said while wolfing down a Cesar Salad, "I'm heading out now!"

"Wait, BE CAREFUL, cause last time-" Ebony tried warning her sister.

"I know, I'll be EXTRA CAREFUL. I promise." Lucky then flew out the door and into the air.

"I can only hope so, dear sister" Ebony sighed as she got out her favorite tea. Neither one was expecting what was going to make the day one they will never forget.

Winterbow and Weather Pressure were trotting along the road leading to Sweet Apple Acers and were just being friends when they saw a random paved road colored black leading into a thicket of trees,

“Should we go investigate, Winterbow?” Weather asked curiously,

“Let’s go back and get our things then we’ll go in. Ok?” Winterbow said while turning around,

“Alright, Winter…” Weather said a bit uneasily. The duo galloped, well sort of, back to Ponyville to grab their weapons just in case.

Thomas was lounging on the couch and was pondering what to do, Should I go paintballing? Nah, too much of a drive time, and it is a weekday. Sit here and game? No, I’m not feeling lazy. Work on the new Forester I own? Yep, I know what I’m gonna do today. After changing into some work clothes, Thomas walked outside to his 2nd garage, where he keeps his 1974 Ford Bronco 4x4 and his 2018 Subaru Forester, and opened the door, the started to work before falling asleep, under a Forester chassis.

Lucky was flying around Ponyville then saw a good-sized house that was bigger than the others, “THAT’S something you don’t see every day.” She then saw Winterbow and Weather Pressure approaching a black paved road and landed behind the duo, “Hi guys, what’s that weird-looking road doing here? And those trees, I’ve never seen trees there before.”

“We were about to investigate, want to come?” Winterbow asked,

“Sure!” Lucky said with excitement and the trio walked along the road towards the mysterious home.

Thomas woke up and banged his head on the chassis, “OW SHIT! THAT FUCKING HURT!” he yelled in pain. He then got up and started drumming on the rolling toolbox to a song by Montgomery Gentry. He then saw 3 figures in the Bronco’s rearview mirror but kept drumming and changed the rhythm to match All American Girl by Carrie Underwood, and then stopped drumming and started cleaning up, when the 3 figures, that were ponies, two with wings, one had a horn, then what got the ball rolling is when the middle one with icy green makeup stepped forward and spoke,

“Hello, what are you and what is your name?”

“WHOA WHAT?!” Thomas was shocked and he fell over and ran into a storage rack and a gas can fell on his head with a loud thud and it fell on the floor. “OW MOTHER FUCKING GOD! IS IT EVERYONE’S GOAL TODAY IS TO INJURE ME?!” He then sighed, “Sorry, I’ve never heard a PONY talk before, so Intros, I’m Thomas and you all are?” He asked while getting up,

“Oh it’s fine as long as you aren’t hurt, anyway, I’m Winterbow and these are my friends, the pegasus mare is Lucky Sparks, and the pegasus stallion is Weather Pressure.”

“Pleased to meet yall. Now, where am I?” Thomas asked worryingly, he knew this was like those HiE fanfics he read on FimFiction.net.

“You are in Equestria and what are these 2 contraptions if I may ask? Weather asked while staring at the white Bronco in awe.

“Oh they are a 1974 Ford Bronco and a 2018 Subaru Forester, wait, I’m in Equestria?” Thomas stated and then fainted in shock, this was no dream and this was real. And he could never go back home.

Chapter 2 Ponies and the modern world

Author's Note

4th wall break warning!

Chapter 2 Ponies and the modern world

Thomas woke up in his bedroom, hurting a bit. “Ugh. I hurt. And I require coffee.” He got up and walked out of his bedroom and walked into the living room seeing 3 ponies fast asleep on the couch, piled on one another. Heh, they look cute sleeping like that, well I might as well get coffee and get on Forza. After getting coffee, Thomas got a chair and one of those trays you use when sitting on the couch and attached his racing wheel to it and hooked up the pedals and controller then plugged the setup into the Xbox, he popped the game into the disc drive and began playing. After about 3 hours of play, Thomas heard Winter getting off the couch and walked next to him and watched in awe. “Like what I'm playing Winter?”

“Huh? Oh yes, wait ‘playing’? You’re interacting with it?” Winterbow asked in astonishment.

"Yep, behold the power of Infrared signals and USB," Thomas said while holding out his arms in a T Pose.
“U-S-B? What’s that stand for?” Winterbow asked.

“Universal Searial Bus. No not the kind your thinking. Whole different thing,” Thomas said while yanking his wheel to the right, steering a 97’ GMC Vandra in an MLP livery, “Weeeee!”

“Oh, okay. So, I wish to know if you would like us 4 over for dinner?” Winterbow asked,

“Sure. wait 4? There are only 3 of you,” Thomas said while getting up and walking to the linen closet behind the front door to get a blanket.

“I want you to meet my other friend. What’s that for?”

“The others are sleeping ever so peacefully. It’s cute” Thomas said while putting the blanket on them then he whipped out his phone and took a picture then sent it to his printer. “I also took a picture and I’ll put it on paper in a bit.”

“Oh okay…” Winter said while looking at the strange rectangular device on the coffee table. Just then, Weather Pressure woke up and carefully slid off the couch, and then looked at the duo.

“What did I miss?” He asked while walking towards the two.

“Eh, nothin’ much, telling Winter about some of the wonders of the modern world where I’m from.”

“Oh cool.”

Then the doorbell was rung and Thomas picked up his phone and opened the Ring app, changed the cam to doorbell, and saw a dark purple, more like maroon, pegasus with a pink mane and tail. “Anyone know who the pony that’s outside?” He then showed the phone to the two.

“Oh that’s Lucky’s twin sis Ebony,” Winter said while looking at the phone in awe.

“Ok, then I’ll let her in,” Thomas said before holding the ‘talk’ button on the phone and said, “Hi, welcome, and come on in,” he then hit a button, and the deadbolt unlocked remotely, and Ebony walked in and noticed the human and got into a charging position

That's when Lucky woke up and jumped in front of Thomas, "CALM DOWN SIS! HE'S ON OUR SIDE!"

Meanwhile…

The Mane 6 were trotting on the road to Sweet Apple Acers when they heard a LOUD voice that sounded like Lucky Sparks.

“Wasnt that Lucky ah heard?” Applejack asked as the group approached the driveway to Thomas’s house tucked in the woods that came with his plot of land. Because she wasn’t looking where she was going, she slammed into Thomas’s mailbox. “What in tarnation was that?!” she said while rubbing her muzzle.

“It looks like a mailbox but what is on its side?” Twilight asked then trotted to the box and read out loud, “Thomas Matthew CTC LLC CEO 15000 S. River Rd, Wood County, Ohio. What? Where was this place and is this where it came from? We need to investigate. Applejack, come with me.” And the duo trotted up the black driveway and saw 2 carriages that looked like they were moved without somepony in front and they approached the structure they were in before hearing the sound of an alarm sounding off, “Somepony must not want us near these carriages.”

Back in the house with the other 5

Things had calmed down and everyone was sitting at the dining room table when Thomas’s laptop sounded off with the security alarm, “NOW whos trying to bust into the garage?” Thomas said while going to get a taser from his room and snuck out the front door and then he saw a purple alicorn and an orange-ish earth pony and about fainted.

“Wait what do you mean, you are sitting in front of a laptop listening to “She’s Country” by Jason Aldean,”

“Oh great here the fuck we go. What do you want?”

“To interrupt the story. Because that’s what I do! I broke the 4th wall for a show for a living before it ended.”

“CUT IT OUT! LET’S GET BACK TO THE FUCKING STORY!
“...”
“Thank you. Oh well, chapter over. Till next time.”

Chapter 3 Modern meets magic part 1

The rest of the Mane 6 were slowly coming up the drive and Thomas was so astonished he could either A) run for his F-150 Raptor and speed off. B) tase himself. C) straight up pass out on the spot for the second time that day or D) deal with it, “I’m gonna go with option C…” Thomas muttered to himself and fainted dropping the $40 phone with an open taser end in front of Twilight who picked it up then saw the points,

"Huh? What does this device do?" She asked and put the points on Thomas and accidentally tazed him and he shook as 1200 volts of electricity entered his body, "OH! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!" She exclaimed after realizing what she did.

"What in tarnation did you do to it Twi!?" Asked Applejack in pure shock,

"I-I don't know! I put the 2 metal points on his body and he started shaking!" At that point, Thomas sat up and looked at the group of ponies, and the cyan-colored Pegasus snickered that then turned into a laugh.

"What? What's so funny?" Thomas asked,

"G-Go find a m-mirror," Rainbow then proceeded to start laughing again.

"OK…" Thomas said while getting up and walked into the detached garage and looked in the Bronco's passenger-side mirror, "What the actual fuck?!" He then proceeded to start laughing while looking at his mad scientist hairdo, created by the taser, in the mirror. After about 15 minutes of turning purple, "OK so, who's hungry? I have 2 veggie pizzas in the oven then afterward I'll give y'all a tour of the property. Sounds good?" The others agreed and then Thomas pulled out his phone, "I want to take a picture of my new friends. Uh... Rarity right?"

"Yes, Darling? Rarity replied.

"Can you levitate the phone with the orange and black part facing us? I set the pic timer for 20 seconds."

"Why of course!" Rarity said while grabbing the phone with her magic after Thomas tapped the 'take picture' button.

“Let's say ‘friends’ when the picture is taken. OK?” Everypony agreed and the group of 4, that were in the house, came out and got roped in. Then the picture was taken with 1 human in the middle surrounded by 10 technicolor ponies. “Now, Food.” Thomas grabbed the phone from Rarity’s magic and checked the time, “Or do half the property tour now and I throw in a hayride using one of my trucks that you all will decide on. So what will it be?”

"Hayride and what is a truck?" Applejack asked.

Thomas set 2 keys down, "Pick a key AJ." Applejack picked up the key on the right, "Going old school. I like it." He then tapped the 'start' button on the key and the white 1974 Ford Bronco rumbled to life making everypony jump back a bit. "Calm down. Now step back, I'm pulling her out." He went to the big truck and got in the driver’s side before Twilight teleported into the passenger seat, “Looks like somepony wants to learn how a vehicle like this works. I’ll quickly tell ya. The noise you hear is the internal combustion engine. Basically, an internal combustion engine is a heat engine in that it converts energy from the heat of burning gasoline into mechanical work, or torque. That torque is applied to the wheels to make the car move.”

“Fascinating.” Twilight said then she heard the shift make 1 click and felt the large carriage move backward, “Whoa. This certainly feels weird.”

Thomas spun the wheel right turning the truck and turned on the fog and running lights to see better. “Say hello to the oldest vehicle in my fleet of 4. She is a 1974 Ford Bronco 4x4 with CTC components and is equipped with a load of safety features. Not getting into them.” He then found the hay trailer and backed up to it then put the truck in park and disembarked with a farm trailer hitch attachment in hand. He then went to the back and switched out the hitch.

“Need some help sugarcube?” Applejack asked while trotting up.

“Yeah, there’s a red wagon-like trailer in those bushes back there.” Thomas said while pointing, “Mind bringing that over so i can attach it?” then he saw it right next to him, “Uh thanks…” Then he attached the trailer and connected the electrical, “Alright! The truck and trailer are one, time to take that hayride I promised." Thomas said while lowering the built in staircase on the back of the trailer and let everypony on board. He then hopped in the truck, "Y'all ready?"

"YES! They all replied.

"Then let's go!" He said while shifting into drive and drove off at 15 MPH so he could set the cruise control.

Meanwhile

Golden Gears was taking an evening stroll when he saw the mailbox and black paved road leading into the woods surrounding Thomas's property, "I never seen these here before." He said while reading the mailbox and looking at the driveway. He then looked up the drive and saw a strange streetlamp that was lit in a white color due to the bulb being LED, then he decided to go investigate. "Hmm, this doesn't look like a normal home." He said while looking around then he noticed the garage door on the house open and an '07 Crown Vic with its hood open in the garage and he cautiously approached the metal beast, "Wow this looks interesting. I must see what's inside!" He exclaimed while leaning over the the push bar and grille then as he was looking at the engine, he lost an ant sized piece of armor in the engine where it landed between the twin CPU's then Golden heard something outside and went to Investigate.

To be continued...

Chapter 4 Modern Meets Magic Pt. 2

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5: New best friend and Shit gettin' weirder

3 days after Thomas’s discovery….
Date: Monday, June 29, 2031
Time: 13:32
Status: CARS BITCH!!

Thomas was under the 2011 F-150 draining the oil because it was due, but because there wasn’t a Valvoline or Midus around, he had gone onto YouTube and had his tablet next to him and had just unscrewed the bolt that kept oil where it belongs when his phone vibrated with a text message causing him to get oil all over his face. “SON OF A BITCH!” he yelled out while sliding out. He then took out his LG K31 and unlocked it then he checked his inbox. “Huh, Spring Breeze sent a text.” He said out loud while opening the message.

‘Hello?’ the text said.

‘Oh. Finally using the phone? Good going!’ he typed and sent it.

2 days earlier...
Date: Saturday, June 27, 2031
Time: 08:30 AM
Status: darts, darts, and pones

Thomas woke up way earlier than he wanted to because he was in a VERY uncomfortable position on the couch. After getting up and went to the bathroom, he fired up his Keurig, threw in a coffee pod, and made himself a large cup of coffee. After doctoring it, he sat back on the couch and turned on WTOL 11 and watched until he heard the sound of hoofsteps on the vinyl planks, he turned around to see Spring Breeze walking into the living room, “Good Morning Spring. How are you?” Thomas asked after sipping his coffee.

“Very tired. But im doing fine. How are you?” Spring replied

“Same. just sittin’ here mindin’ my own business.” Thomas said then took another sip of coffee before setting it on the coffee table and getting up. “Im going downstairs to clean up last night’s dart fight, want to help?” he asked while walking to the door leading to the basement.

“Sure why not.” she replied as she followed Thomas downstairs.

When they went down and into the rec room, they saw one hell of a mess. Darts were everywhere, for some reason an empty glass Coca-Cola bottle, the dart guns and mags were in odd places, batteries were lying on the ground, so much needed to be done. "Well, got a bit of work ahead of us." Then in a deep tone of voice, he quoted the slogan for The Home Depot, "Lets do this."

later………….

Thomas put the last Box O' Darts on a shelf in the closet while Spring swept a corner then put the broom down. "Done!" They both said in unison which made them both laugh.

"I think I'm gonna like my time here. I may be in my 30's but I got a lot of time ahead of me. Gotta make the most of it." He stated while closing the doors to the closet.

"I'm quite curious, what is your world like?" Spring asked.

"Well, the area I lived in was in the countryside. 20 minute drive to any of the neighboring towns or cities. Closest I know of is Toledo Ohio. City's great and all but the crime rate is sky high." Thomas said.

"What kind of crime? Hope nothing REALLY bad."

"Rather not open that can of worms."

"Oh. Why though?"

"Because the author is trying to keep it rated Teen!" Pinkie Pie randomly said out of nowhere.

"JESUS CHRIST PINKIE!" Thomas exclaimed. "Well there goes my heart rate."

"What author?" Spring asked EXTREMELY confused.

"I don't have a fucking clue." Thomas replied.

The 2 then went back upstairs to have a quick lunch.
"Hey Thomas, can I ask something?" Spring asked.

"Sure, what's up?" Thomas replied while fishing out a bag of Tater-Tots out of the freezer.

"I was wondering if I can start coming here often, this place may be a bit alien'ish but it feels like a second home to me. Would that be OK?"

Thomas stopped when he heard those words. "I'm glad you feel that way about this home, and yes, you may come here as much as you like. And I might teach you how to use a cell phone so that I can get a heads up when you're dropping by, no pun intended."

Spring then sprang up from her seat and gave Thomas a hug, "Thank you." She whispered in his ear. She then broke the hug and went back to the table, "So what's for lunch?"

"Leftover pizza and Tater-Tots. Kinda like hash browns but are shaped into little cylinders." Thomas said as he dumped a small amount onto a small pan then put it into his Hamilton Beach confection oven and set it.

"That sounds good."

After lunch, Thomas taught her how to use a cell phone then fished out and unused Samsung Galaxy J5, set it up, activated the number, then gave the phone to her. Then she went back to her place and Thomas went to go find his lawn mower. After finding it, he grabbed the keys for his Crown Vic and that's when weird shit started happening, first when he went to get in, he heard a coughing sound, it sounded close and female, then after he started the engine he had more controls on his panel, then what really set things off was when it shifted into drive and rolled out on its own. That scared him to the point where he jumped out of the car and made a beeline for his home. After slamming the door shut, he heard the sound of an engine and it got louder until it stopped. He then looked into the garage and saw his car right where it is supposed to be. "What the hheelllllll????" Was all he could say as he went back inside and fired up his computer and started playing Euro Truck Simulator 2 for the next hour or so. Meanwhile in the garage the Crown Vic was now talking to it- no, HERself, "How am I able to do what I did?" She decided to not think about it any further and went back to sleep.

Author's Note

Well this was a pain in the neck. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!

A party, a new crush, and the car

Date: Monday, June 30, 2031
Time: 9:32
Status: I need food. TO TOWN BOIIIIIIIIIIII!!

Thomas was moping about the house and happened to faceplant in his pantry door. He decided to open it up and saw that he needed food and supplies. He looked in Golden’s room to check on him, he then typed up a note telling him NOT to screw with a few items, printed it, then taped it to the inside of his door with red duct tape. Then he made some French-Press coffee. After the coffee, he sat around till noon then went out, went fishing for his trailer, got his truck, attached the trailer, then headed into town.

meanwhile…………………………………………….

Twilight was talking to her brother in her palace about the recent events when Pinkie Pie charges in like a Charger from Left 4 Dead 2, “TWILIGHT! I REMEMBERED SOMETHING!!!” she screamed. Twilight could have sworn she heard a window shatter.

“What is it Pinkie?” Twilight asked in a deadpan tone.

“Why don’t we throw Thomas a ‘Welcome to Equestria/Ponyville and Happy Equestrian Retirement’ party!” the pink mare said.

“For once, that sounds like a great idea”

Pinkie went to start listing what had to be done. And it was a long one. After the pink ball of 4th wall nuke finished the list, Twilight’s organized side booted up and she got to work on organizing the party while Shining Armor stood there absolutely confused. Pinkie went back to Sugarcube Corner and began making food. LOTS of food. Sometime later, the entire town heard about the human, and his home is right across the road from Applejack. Some ponies were nervous while a few meh, but Lyra went into her ‘human craze mode’ and was bouncing all over the place.

Back with Thomas, he was weaving the truck around barrels and carts. The last thing on his list was to need to pay a repair bill. After the narrow streets, it was time to play ‘Let’s Pray to God I Don’t Kill a Pone’. He managed to get to the market and started buying food to restock his pantry. Then he walked to the Paint and Hardware stores and bought a bunch of building materials to build a small guest house. Afterward, he loaded the materials into the trailer then he saw ponies gathering at the town hall.

what's goin' on there? he wondered. He tried asking somepony but they didn't know. He decided to finish his shopping and by that time, it was around 5 o’clock so he went to the town hall.

"SURPRISE!" was all Thomas got when he opened the door. He jumped back and fell in a hole and threw his back out. Fluttershy -bless her little soul- immediately saw his look of pain and hauled him out of the hole and set him in a chair and grabbed his first aid kit from the truck after figuring out how to open up the front and back passenger side doors because it’s one of those where the back door handle requires the front door to be opened to access it. After a bit of patching the poor human up, he got up and got a real good look at the party that was put together.
“Who’s ide- never mind, I think I know who.” He said before yelling towards Pinkie, “Thanks Pinkie!” She just smiled.

Later on, Thomas was sitting at a table trying to get his BPM back down because of Lyra Heartstrings.

Flashback…

Thomas had gone to the car to turn the truck off and trade his First Aid kit for his laptop. As he opened the driver’s side door, Lyra sprung out of the driver’s seat and he ran right back inside.

End of flashback

After a bit, there was a knock on the door and Rarity opened it, and there stood a very sexy anthro butterfly. She and Rarity exchanged greetings and they went to the table Thomas was at. Thomas had brought out a secondary laptop and he and Button Mash were playing Minecraft so they weren’t paying attention. Rarity brought her over and tapped Thomas on the shoulder.

“What’s up Rarity?” Thomas asked and paused his game.

“I have someone to introduce to you darling.” Rarity said while motioning to her friend behind her

“Holy shit,” He said awestruck at the beauty in front of him, “Who is this beauty?”

She stepped forward and was blushing a bit, “I’m Lumina Crystalina. You must be Thomas Matthew, Rarity has told me quite a bit about you.”

It was Thomas’s turn to blush, “C’mon Rarity. How much did you tell her?”

“Everything.” Rarity smiled.

Thomas facepalmed in embarrassment which caused several ponies to laugh a bit.

“Now you know how I feel.” Button Mash said with a smirk.

“Shut up.” Thomas said jokingly. Both boys shared a laugh.

Afterward, the party winded down and everyone had left. Thomas decided to stick around to clean up. Same with his friends.

“I’m gonna run home, drop my things off, grab my shop-vac, and come back in the Forester. Be back in 5 minutes.” Thomas said while placing his laptop in his backpack. He had given Button Mash his secondary laptop but Thomas needed to hold on to it to factory reset it and set up a Microsoft and Google account, same with his mom for parental controls. He drove back to the house, eying his Vic while pulling into the garage. He shut the truck off and stepped out which caused his other car to flinch a bit. Thomas sighed and figured that he should comfort his possessed ride.

“So. I kinda owe you an apology for taking off like that, I was scared shitless and running was my first thought.” He said while putting a hand on the car’s hood.

“I bet I would have done the same,” came a feminine voice, “I’m sorry for backing out so suddenly.”

“No harm done. I think I’ll call you by the last name of your model.” Thomas said smiling.

“I like that.” the car now referred to as Victoria replied cheerfully.

Thomas then went inside and grabbed his shop-vac. He then put it inside of Victoria and got in the driver’s seat. Victoria backed out of the garage and the 2 headed back into town.
Upon arriving, Thomas got out and went inside.

“I’m back, and I have a bit of a surprise.” Thomas said and lead the 10 out to Victoria who was idling, not giving a care in the world. So Thomas snuck over to her and poked her rear bumper. The result was Victoria spinning 180 and Thomas getting 2 AKs pointed at his head.

“Ok. Not gonna attempt THAT again.” He said very carefully backing up.

“Dammit Thomas. Could have blown your head off for shit’s sake.” Victoria said as her newfound firearms retracted back into their hidey holes on either side above the wheel wells.

The group of friends had mixed reactions at the sight of the sleek car TALKING. Twilight was going berserk about discoveries involving Victoria, Rainbow, Rarity, and AJ were slack-jawed, Flutters and Spring were hiding after seeing the swift action of the car, Lumina was wide-eyed along with Elbony, Lucky, and Winterbow -who all showed up right before Vic’s stunt-, Pinkie did… know what, I don’t wanna fucking know.
Victoria had a staring contest with the group. Not really a staring contest because Vic doesn't have eyes.

After a moment, Victoria made the first move, “So… hi, I’m Victoria…” She said awkwardly.

“Thomas, how is this car talking?” Elbony asked.

“No clue El, no fucking clue” Thomas replied very deadpan.

After an hour of getting used to a talking vehicle and cleaning up after the party, Victoria and Thomas drove home. After pulling into her garage spot, she noticed that her owner had fallen asleep. She just shut off her engine and went to sleep, preparing for what is yet to come.

Author's Note

I'M NOT DEAD YET GUYS! This was done half ideas chucked at me by Silver Sight (Co-author) and guesswork after losing access to my main Discord account.

Hope y'all enjoyed!

Chapter 8: A wild Nightmare Night

Date: Friday, October 31st, 2031
Time: 15:41
Status: Booooooooo I'm spooky as fuck bois.

Thomas was doing something in his garage. It involved Victoria. Why? Because it’s that time of year to decorate one of his cars and this year HAPPENED to be the poor sedan’s turn. Nightmare Night according to Twilight, is one of the biggest holidays in Ponyville. So, Thomas decided to drag Victoria’s metallic ass into the garage and used a shit ton of wood and Amazon boxes he had in a storage area downstairs to dress Victoria up as a chariot. As he was spraying some black paint on a box, Golden Gears poked his head in to see what was up.
“Hey Thomas, what’s going on in here?” the tall stallion asked.

“Dressin’ up Victoria.” Thomas replied.

“AGAINST MY FUCKING WILL!” Vic yelled.

“Tone it down. We already discussed that it was your turn this year.” Thomas said and he rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, did you want to pair up with me for Nightmare Night Thomas?” Golden asked after chuckling.

“I got no problem with it. Vic? Thomas said and looked at his companion.

“Sure. Nothin’ better to do.” Victoria said.

Within 10 minutes, Victoria’s costume was done. Thomas had found an old mechanic’s suit in his closet so he got it dirty by doing some MUCH needed work on the Subaru. Golden is basically Frankenstein (Equine Edition!) so he was all set. Suddenly, a bright as fuck flash from the twin’s place caught Thomas’s eye so he and Victoria hauled ass in their direction with Golden on the roof of the car. As the trio pulled up, a light violet-colored pegasus with a sparkly magenta mane and tail was standing on the front porch. To say the mare was absolutely stunning would have been an understatement. Then Vic got curious.
“Now who the fuck are you?” She asked.

“Good day Victoria. Hope you’re day is going well.” the mare said.

“Still doesn’t answer my question. And I’m not gonna bother questioning how you know my name.” Vic said as Thomas did the little drum/symbol thing you get when you make a pun.

“I’m Midnight Luck. But it’s actually Elbony and Lucky. This is our fused form. Impressed?” she replied.
“Wait what.” Thomas said.

“Didn’t know that.” Golden also said.

“Oh. So this is your costume?” Vic asked.

“Yeah,” Midnight replied before asking, “Could I get a ride to town?”

“Hop in” Victoria said.

When the group got into town, Victoria stopped at the Castle of Friendship and let the 3 out. Already at the door was the entire Mane 6 and Spike, the CMC, and Spring Breeze who gave Thomas a hug as they haven’t talked much in the last month. Then a loud flap of wings was heard, a thud behind them, and Victoria tearin’ off like a bat outta hell. Everyone turned around and immediately bowed in front of Princess Luna who showed up for the celebration because it IS her night after all.
“You all don’t have to be so formal with me. I’m just here to enjoy the night.” Luna said as everyone got back up and Victoria slowly came back. Then everybody started laughing like hell.

Time: 19:53

Twilight was going over a group list and splitting everyone up. Spring and Flutters in one, Thomas and Golden in another, Twi and Spike, Midnight with Victoria. So on and so forth. Once 20:00, everyone went their separate ways and the night began.

Victoria’s POV:
Time: 20:20

Me and Midnight were knocking out houses along the outskirts of town and I was playing the I Love My Country music video as we went along. Then the wind kicked up. Then outta nowhere, I felt a stare being laid on me, I looked in my mirror and a pair of eyes were staring directly at me. I tore the fuck off while I heard Fluttershy, Midnight, and Spring laugh their asses off. I came back and laughed too until a bolt of lightning flashed and a scary face sent all of us running, completely abandoning our candy bags. It happened to be Luna and RD that pulled the prank on us and swiped our candy. I honestly had to laugh and so did the others.

Thomas’s POV:
Time: 20:43

Me and Golden had split up to cover more ground, after regrouping, we sat on a bench and counted our candy, but while we were, something happened which sent me running and Golden was laughing like hell. After chasing him around the block, we went ahead and made our way back to the castle where everybody was waiting.

After everyone had sat down in the dining hall where Twi had managed to prep a large feast that looked like it was out of one of the Harry Potter books which told Thomas she stole one of his books. After dinner, they all exchanged tales of what happened and laughs were made. After everything was said and done, they all went back to their respective homes, with Thomas driving Midnight, Spring, and Golden back to his house. When the 5 pulled up, the first 4 got out with the 5th pulling into the garage and going to sleep while the others watched a number of movies. The night ended at ‘bout quarter to 4 in the morning. Everyone opted to sleep on the couch with Thomas till late in the day.

See ya next time folks!

Author's Note

Writers block is a bitch. I hope to get to the next chapters soon. Sorry to all for the delay.

Chapter 7: An accident, An apple breakfast and A hope for a better tomorrow

Date: Tuesday, June 31, 2031
Time: 5:00 AM
Status: There goes the fucking water heater.

Golden Gears FINALLY woke up and looked around the bedroom. On one wall is a picture of a strange bipedal standing next to a strange-looking train that had AMTRAK written on the side in blue lettering. On the wall in front of him was a large black rectangle mounted on the wall. Another wall had a little cabinet housing a small strange train with small odd carriages. He got out of the king-size bed and opened the door and walked into the hallway. He walked into the living room and saw the same biped asleep on the couch. He then walked into the den and looked at the furnace and water heater. The water heater looked like it needed some work so he crept into the garage and hid when the garage door opened, the red carriage came to life, and backed out of the garage and left. Golden then grabbed the toolbox and began tampering with the water heater. He over-tuned it to the point where it burst out of its spot and shot out of the window like a missile and impacted the ground with enough noise that Golden Harvest and Applejack got woken up along with Thomas as he fell off the couch. Thomas runs into the garage and shuts off the water as Victoria comes blazing up the driveway, with AJ and Golden Harvest charging up 5 minutes later, AJ slams into Victoria’s rear bumper and lands back first on her roof.

“What the fuck happened here?! And why in god’s name is there a smoking water heater jammed into the ground like a gnome?!” Victoria asked in a panicked voice.

“That was my fault,” Golden said, “I didn’t know what it was and thought it was something needing upgrading.”

“You are forgiven. Word of advice though, read the warning labels before tampering with something.” Thomas said. He then saw AJ getting off Vic’s roof just as a modification from the heater snapped off and clocked her in the face, Golden Harvest poked her a few times and she was out COLD. Thomas loaded everyone into Victoria and drove AJ and Golden Harvest back home.

“Sorry again about that cylinder.” Golden said as he poked at the radio controls.

“It's fine. But do you mind helping me install a new one? I have a new one on hand. Or hoof in your case.”

“Sure! Maybe I can also use this place to work on my inventions?" He asked excitedly.

"Just don't dissect one of my cars and we are good." Thomas said as he felt Victoria shudder.

“So what is this machine we are in? I'm quite curious.” Golden asked.

“There's a few names for this one, Automobile, Car, Sedan, Crown Victoria, and this one’s name is Victoria. I don’t remember when she gained life but I took it in stride saying as she is my baby and very much harmless.” Thomas said while patting Vic’s dashboard.

“Damn straight.” She said proudly.

“Well nice to meet you Victoria, I’m Golden Gears,” He then turned to Thomas, “You?”

“Thomas. Or Tom, or Tommy,” He said and heard Victoria giggle, which sounded pretty cute, “Cute giggle Vic.” he said and chuckled.

“Oh stop.” Vic said playfully.

The group laughed as Vic stopped in front of the Apple’s farmhouse. Granny happened to be in her rocking chair.

“So this is one of those machines Ah’ve been hearin’ about.” Granny said.

“I’m the talking one. Name’s Victoria, your’s?” Victoria asked in her typical cheery voice.

“Granny Smith. A pleasure to make yer acquaintance. What brings ya out here?”

Thomas stepped out. “Applejack got KO’ed by a flying piece of a modification Golden Gears here put on my water heater, we brought her back.”

“That was mighty kind of ya. Would you like to join us for breakfast?” Granny offered.

“I don’t see why not. I haven’t eaten yet today.” Thomas said as he helped Golden Harvest and Golden Gears haul AJ inside while Victoria parked in the barn.

Later on, Thomas and Golden were heading back to the house in Victoria.

“So what is it like where you come from?” Golden asked.

“It’s something alright. Many cars on the roads, advances in technology like communication,” Thomas said while pointing at the cell phone in his Cuphone and the Answer and Decline buttons on Vic’s steering wheel, “Traffic control, like traffic lights and road signs, computers became a thing in the 1950s and the Desktop came in the 80’s/90’s, we traveled to the moon, navigation became easier with Google maps and Garmins. There’s a LOAD of things back home that keep me entertained.”

“Your world sounds very interesting. I wish I could visit it.” Golden said.

“One day,” Thomas said as Victoria pulled up to the house and Thomas stepped out along with Golden who more fell out than stepped out, “Ready to install a water heater?”

“Sure am!” Golden said excitedly.

It took till about 14:00 for the duo to finish the installation of a new water heater. Thomas collapsed on the couch with his controller in hand. Golden sat beside him and watched as Thomas turned on his Xbox and opened up YouTubeTV and set the channel to FreeForm which was showing Despicable Me. He then went, made coffee and popcorn, sat back down, and began enjoying the movie with Golden asking questions along the way.

After a movie marathon that lasted till 23:00, Thomas led Golden back to the same room he was in the night before.

“Hey Thomas, thanks again for forgiving me.” Golden said as he brushed his teeth after being taught how to operate a Spinbrush.

“What friends are for. I never thought I’d see the day where I’d end up in Equestria with a talking car-”

“I HEARD THAT!” Victoria yelled.

“-and immediately gaining the trust of the townsfolk and getting an actual group of friends.” Thomas said.

“This is Equestria, prepare for a lot of surprises.” Golden said.

“Yep. Well goodnight Golden, see you tomorrow.” Thomas said as he went to bed. Golden did the same. Both preparing for what the future holds.

Author's Note

And another done. Nuff said