Friendship With A Side Of Toast

The Godly Failure

by pyrotigre

As I was forcefully stripped of sleep’s sweet embrace, my bleary eyes fell upon the source of my current state of wakefulness. It seemed Bonny had left the shutters open after watering her flowers. Bonny, my sweet sweet maker.  I turned around, my eyes fell upon the love of my life. We were meant for each other. We had known it since that night in Manehatten. I smiled at the pleasant memory: that sunset which had marked the true beginning of us and got up, nearly tripping on a foam model of a person as I did.

It was a fine addition to my collection of human related items, every one of them kept in perfect condition under … hermetically … sealed … glass? ‘What the hay? Why is it out?  It seems to be one of the more precious elements of the collection, so what is it doing off its shelf?’ As those thoughts came through my mind, I gave a cursory glance to see which item it was, only to discover none were missing ‘Well, that’s one mystery solved...’ Yet, it raised more questions than it solved... Where did it come from? Was it a gift? If so, from whom? Why would somepony give something like this to me? How had they managed it to get in front of my bed? The very thought of an unknown and possibly dangerous intruder laying eyes on my Bon-Bon left shaking and breathless. ‘If somepony can get in here to get me something, they would have the means of taking either of us out into the night, a weapon in our back, just to kill and bury us under one of AppleJack’s trees...” I was getting noticeably more distressed by the second. I could already feel my eyes watering up as fear took control of my mind. Soon, I was bawling in a useless ball of fur. Everypony did always think I got spooked too easily and got worked up over little things... It was one of many ways in which Bonny and I were totally different. She always was the level headed one, able to keep her head despite it all. Speaking of the lupus...

Once again, the sheets rustled as Bon Bon woke up to my crying one more time. Unlike many others, she was not only patient enough to put up with it, but she found it sweet. Masochist, perhaps? Slightly freaky love of pain aside, she turned around, and saw me. She got up, a gentle comforting smile adorning her lips as she made her way around the bed. What a wonderful mare... I couldn’t have hoped for a better partner to share my life with... Such an angel... She made her way to me, hugged me and petted my mane.

“What is wrong dear?” Her voice was like a soothing cold drink on a hot day, that is to say, much needed and quite welcome

“In...in...intruder...left...ssssomething...by...bed...Could...be...disastrous...” I shakily pointed one of my minty green forehooves at the figurine

“Shhhhhhhh.... It’s alright Lyra, everything is alright... If there was somepony here, they can’t have been that bad.. They left you a present, and if they wanted to harm us, they could have done it in our sleep.” Her cool logic reassured me, and when I say cool logic, I mean warm presence. With her around, nothing can go wrong (except that one time with the parasprite, but that was the exception that makes the rule...).

Having taken hold of my senses,  though my mane was still in an unkempt state, much as like my mind. A mess, frayed around the edges but moving on (if barely), I made my way to my new little human lying on the floor. My earlier assessment of it had been an understatement. This piece was not just just fine, but absolutely marvelous! It was by far the most intricate design I had ever seen, matching the now counselor doctor Peterson's Anatomy down to perfect detail. the proportion differed slightly, and so did the facial features and expression. The pose was a bit odd as well, the frightened youthful visage trying to shield itself behind upraised hands, connected to a slightly chubby torso by arms covered by the black collared buttoned up shirt, his tie going past his neck, as if blown back by a heavy wind. Long khaki pants covered his legs and the glasses covering his blue eyes were cracked and askew, having completely come off one eye. If not for the rather macabre expression and dubious origins of the statuette, it would have become the central piece of my humble collection, detailed as it was...

I decided to put it under seal anyway, so I placed on the table to remind myself to do so before turning  around to rejoin my voice changing marefriend (she never did find that recipe again... Oh well... It was fun while it lasted.). I would have walked the distance, but it seemed that she had made it for me and was examining figurine as well, so I simply caught her attention with a kiss. Her eyes widened and she returned it before breaking away, a small smile the only remnant of the display of affection, and that only lasted until she ruined our affectionate moment by bringing my attention back to the matter at hoof.

“Any idea who might have got you that?” Her question filled the room and my mind, resonating a bit in the latter. After a moment’s consideration, I share the results of my mental search with her.

“No... None of my usual suppliers have this level of craftponyship, and no one beside them or somepony working closely with counselor Peterson even knows about those details. Now that I think about it, you would need to have seen him, and maybe talked to him, to have any sort of a model to base it off of... It wasn’t somepony I know. My question is: why would a stranger get it to me?” I shuddered as the last sentence left my shaking lips. Sensing another panic fit coming, the cream colored piece of paradise hugged me again.

As I relaxed into the warm embrace, I once again saw the vision from my foalhood: a blindingly bright light, just barely contained by saving hands. These hands are my earliest memory, and from them, I made a creature, and I called that creature a human. It is funny really...I always knew in my heart that they existed, but that was not a popular belief, but, despite the best effort of the orphanage  therapist, it persisted. I was finally proved right when the royal guard apprehended Dr. Petterson from the smoldering wreckage  of some of his lab, a fact I was all too happy to shove down the throat of all the neigh-sayers I had the misfortune of meeting in the past. He became the most important thing in my life (after Bonny, of course). I gave up my carrier to follow him, study him, talk to him. In retrospect, I realize I should have just asked Twilight about it. After all, she was his mentor and colleague (and still is, as far as I know), so it would have made sense for me to get in contact... Why didn’t I do it? I have no idea. Anyway, I finally got back to my life when he move to canterlot to become a advanced physics teacher at Celestia’s School for gifted unicorns. I would have followed him, but I was banned from the place for ... unsavory reasons.

I paused on that last thought. It was not the best of leads, but it was the best I had. I tightened the hold of my return hug and broke away, a small cocky grin on my muzzle. A little too excited at what may turn out to be one more reason for them to despise me, I quickly shared my thoughts with my partner.

“Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns, materialisation department.”

“I beg your pardon?” The surprised look in her eyes was to die for.

“Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns, materialisation department. It is their job to study the controlled summon of objects. Last time I went by Canterlot, they were working on a way to materialise a mental image. Maybe I didn’t put off the lot of them and one sent me this. Either that or they decided to plant this to off me somehow, but I am fairly sure I didn’t get them that angry.” I smiled hopefully as I finished my theory.

“Someday, you will have to tell me what you did... That aside, the whole thing seems more than a bit far fetched, honey...”

“It’s our only lead! I was right about the humans, wasn’t I? I would think you would put a little more trust in my assumption by now.” I was a little disappointed with her. We had the same type of conversation about hand, pants, sitting oddly, and humans in general. I had hoped that she would trust me on these kinds of things by this point. On top of that, we had no other theories or even leads to work from...

“Fine. We’ll go, but only because I know you’d leave me behind if I didn’t come.” I whooped at the news. She might not believe me and might say it was just for protection, but I was glad to have at least a little moral support. We were suddenly tangled up once more in another show of affection. We might have our differences and fights, but we were meant for each other. Much as in other similar instances, this moment was ours. There was no shadowy pony giving me weird stuff. The public scorn haunting me was non existent and no one cared about the events that got me banned from several magical research facilities all over the country. I was hers and she was mine, and it was all that mattered.

After a  long train ride to Canterlot the next morning, we exited the train station. We had been stopped along the way, and all the passengers had been checked several times over, displaying that the capital was on high alert. Once again, hindsight displays the missed omen warning of impending disaster. All the guards seemed on high alert and shortly after we had entered city limits, a message go to their head. Immediately, all tracked were closed and all entrances through the walls became heavily guarded. At the time, I believed that it was just another global mishap the elements of harmony of somepony else would fix, leaving most of the world unaffected.

Ignoring the deserted streets, we laboriously made our way towards the school. It was in one of the upper reaches of Canterlot, meaning we had to trot for a couple hours before arriving in the golden gates of the citadel, where we encountered a major hurdle. It seemed they were not letting anypony in or out of the citadel, which meant, unfortunately for us, that we would have to discreetly make our way in using earth pony means, as I doubted I could teleport myself, much less the two of us. It was going to be hard, but I had previous experiences in the city on my side, and most of them had ended quite badly. As such, I had learned of many ways into the citadel only few knew existed. Yet, this day, I would not use any of these, for if they were on so high an alert, they would have dug out the blueprints and guarded those as well... No. I would need  to use one passage I was taught about. A passage no one will be happy to use. I would drag my beloved through the old sewer system. She would not be happy at all, but on the bright side, it looked like the local weather schedule was set for rain later, and that would give us a chance to wash off a bit. With or without the rain, it was possibly going to be the worst experience in my and Bonny's life.

After several hours in the least pleasant areas our shining capitol had to offer (most of which were silent, lest millennia old excrement get a second go in a digestive track) and a shower in one of the cheaper places of the district (which was still way too much),  we finally arrived at our destination. Bon Bon was still glaring daggers at me for putting her through all that. I am fairly certain that if the roles were reversed, I would already have gone home by myself, and forcibly dragged her behind. I am quite the selfish pony, am I not? There we were, in the rain, about to enter with trepidation, when a white unicorn sporting a black mane and an artistic representation of an atom passed by us. She halted suddenly and looked at me, slightly puzzled.

“Aren’t you that unicorn? The one who nearly destroyed half of one of the experimental magic buildings?” Her questions left me glancing awkwardly at the muddy ground.

“YOU NEARLY BLEW UP A BUILDING? WHAT DID YOU DO? EXPLANATION. NOW.” I could understand her shock. It is not everyday that you find out the pony you have shared your life with for some time has a bit shadier past than you thought, after all. Don’t get me wrong. I never got into much trouble on purpose, but accidents do happen.

“I probably should not have barged in again... They were sick of my face anyway, and I am fairly sure that they would have banned me even if I didn’t break their concentration during a dangerous experiment... I bet they’ll throw me out the second they see me” I muttered shamefully. They both looked at me for a moment, and it was getting a little awkward for all parties involved. Then, the mystery unicorn guffawed heartilly at the situation.

“You know, I like you. I doubt you’ll be able to go near that department again, but you can stay at my dorm room for now. Here. Let me show you the way,” and with that, she trotted off in the rain. I followed her, but Bon Bon seemed to be having trouble moving (and closing her mouth). I came back and used my hoof to shut her mouth, and a combination of that and magic to get moving along.

A quick stroll in the now evening and we found ourself in a small spartan looking bedroom. it contained a wardrobe, a mirror, a one pony bed and a small table, which held our stuff. All of our items were still neatly packaged, well... all but one. Theory Point, as we had come to find out she was called, had wanted to know what  brought us here, especially considering my history with the place, so I told her while the still shocked love of my life was walking stiffly beside us. After hearing about it, our new friend had decided that she want to have a look at the odd piece of art, so she was currently levitating it close to her face to examine it closely.

“That is fine work, a bit macabre, but definitely the best I have seen at this size, regardless of the subject. Look at these details! They even put tears of blood to complete the theme!” I looked at her suddenly in the eyes.

“Tears of blood? It didn’t have any when we left!” I took a closer look. The blood seemed fresh, and it had that real coppery smell... I lifted my hoof to try to wipe it away, and I touched the eye that had been stripped of the protecting shield of his glasses. With a click, it went backwards into its socket, releasing a maelstrom of light. It was utter and complete chaos. The head opened like a box, tendrils of light shooting out every which way. One struck the mare of my dreams, and she fell limply to the ground.

“BON BON!” I yelled, but she would not move. soon, the light seemed to have found a new target: me. One of the tendrils made contact with my horn, and that opened the pandora’s box. a blinding white pain flashed through my skull as all the rest of the cataclysm in the little room focused on me. It drained into my skull, leaving nothing but darkness and I crumpled to the floor too.

My head was pounding like it never had before, hazy memories coming to the surface. A dorm room, light...

“Eli? Are you OK? Where are you?” My voice sounded off, somehow oddly high pitched. It was natural, yet it wasn’t. What the heck had happened? More recent memories came in blinding rapidity. An orphanage, being tormented, rain, pain, solace, shared life, being proved right, and finally, another flash of light. A lifetime's worth of memories had just poured back into my brain. Who was I? Was anything I knew real? Human or pony? Neither and both, perhaps. My musing were interrupted by a soft voice. I think it might have been Theory, but by this point, I am certain of nothing. Well, I have one thing I am certain of, and that was that it was high time to have a talk with counselor Peterson. Suddenly, I realized that I had forgotten someone, or rather, somepony.

“BON BON! Are you alright?” I suddenly exclaimed. Whatever had been said to me before was lost in the spiral that was my mind. My eyes shot open and I rushed to stand, falling back down shortly after. I tried again, slower this time and got my hooves under me unsteadily. I fell once more as I reached the mare who had accepted me and had been there for me all these years. She was breathing, but her eyes seemed glassy. A quick light test later, I had established that something was deeply wrong. her pupils weren’t dilating or retracting. I sat there, pointedly ignoring Theory Point as I cried myself into unconsciousness.