An April's Fool thing

by MLG Hard

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Fetish, Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Non-consensual, Random, Discord, Violence, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Narcotics, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1062

Discord, partially wanting a quick laugh, and partially to prepare the Mane Six for a threat, puts them through an unpleasant experience in his dimension. This will spiral out of control if I go past one chapter.

Discord, after learning of an impending threat, he must prepare the Mane Six for a villain, and get a cheap laugh from it while he's at it. In Discord's dimension live several interesting beings, or copies of them at least, similar to beings that the Mane Six may face in the future. So Discord puts them through a brief, yet educational period of time where they learn about these villains, without even knowing that they're learning anything.

Published 2021-04-05 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-05 19:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1

This was an interesting predicament that the Mane Six had found themselves in, they were trapped in a Mansion’s Lounge, and around them were the creatures that they knew to be humans, but these ones were unlike the Anon that they all knew. There was also a walrus in the room for unknown reasons, but none of the ponies wanted to question it. One of the humans spoke to the Walrus as if it had the same level of intellect as it.

“More ClopJuiceTM, Pony Ass Connoisseur?”

“Now that’s an offer I can’t turn down.” The Walrus responded.

Then another human spoke with a screeching, hideous tone.

“S̴̢̖͇̱̖̭̜̣̜̹̼͎͍̯̺͈͎̳̗͈̥͉͔̰̻̺̯͌̃͜Ḩ̴̛̛̟̣̜̳͔̝͍̥̤̗͆̈́͛̒͗́͊̽̄̂̿͛͌̀͛̋̀̐̈́͆͐͑̽͒̊͘̕͝U̶̞̳̻̜̫̓̀͂͂̄͛̒̂͜͜͝T̵̢̨̼̤̻͉͓̼̦͖̹̎̀͗́̊̐̿̊̅ ̶̧̡̡̬̥̙̠͈̳͇̫̭̯̘̝̯̩̲͎̤̰̣̦͍͔͚͎͕́́̋̂̔̓̀͂̒̑̕ͅŲ̸̡̧͔̜̟̜̭̘͔͔̹͖͍̬̼͈͓̼͎̳͗̽͒̽͂̌̆̃̆̒̀̈́́́̆͘̚P̴̨̨̧̢̧̡̡̛͎̟̖͍̭̤̲̹̟͇͙̱̻̠͕̱̼͖̗̙̠̘̟̎͌̌̔̌̀͑́̓͊̆͒̓̃̾̓͘̕͝͠ ̸̣̗͖̤̜̟̤̇̑͆̒̉̂̈́̆̄͋́̍͌̉̓̅̃̕Ị̵̢̜͓̳̥̹̳̱͍̞͍̮̭̩͉̪̯̲͚͍̘͍̐̆̎͂'̷̧̡̢̡̡̯̣̬̺̠̻̪͉̤͍̹̱̯͖̳̫̜̪͍̑̀̂͆̽̓̚͜͜ͅͅM̷̛̟̫̝̤̥̦̤̦̜͊̽̎̾͗͑̇̋͂̽͛́͒̌̍͗̆͌͐̾̚̕͘̕ͅͅ ̷̡̛̹̹͎̦͉͕͚̩͉̫͙͙̫̬̤͍̈̐̂̓̎̒͐͊̓͌̉́̇̍͂͂̄̓̀͑͆͆̕̚͘͝P̴̢̭͓̫̠̝̻͎̙̼̻̙̹̙͚͔͒͛͗̇͊͊̓̉͂͆̍̋̚͘͜L̵̟̯̗͓̹̙̻̠͙̗̳͂̋͌͆̆̾͐͂̿̀̃̒̉̀̈́͐̈́̉͝͝ͅͅĄ̴̧̨̪̹̲̝̝̼̥̼̣̘̦̻̻͇̬̺̱̭͓͍̘̬͂̓̍̓͊̍̈́͆͊̈́̆̃̀̽̑͆͑̋͆̽̄̓͝͝Y̵̡̘̫͉̥͇̖̣̮̓̃͛̃̂̽͊̕I̸̗̥̺̱̯͔͕͕̤̼̭̭̻͉̘̣̲͍͖͉̫͇͒͋N̸̡̧̡̡̮̘̪̭̘͕͙̤͉̼͍̞͙̮̖͒̑̑̽̏̃̇̀͛͊̀̋̃̄́̈́̄̃͌̃̈́̀̆͘͘͜͠ͅĢ̴̧̢̡̰̬̥̻̞̗͎̪̝̯̼̤͔̯̘̳̯̮̥̦̍̈́́̅̒̀̎̀̄̈́̆̄́̓̓͌̃̽̽͗̏͊̅̔̚͘͠͝ ̵̣̼̼̻̹͍̖̀̃̉̃͆́̏͘Ĺ̷̨̡͇͚̟͖͙̦̫͇̀̓̊̂͆̈͆́̂̍͛̐͋̃͗̍̐͑̄Ą̶̮͓͓̝̣͓̦̉̅͂̒̂̀̏́͂͊́̑̀͂̇̋͗̇̎͘͝͝͝ͅǨ̴̨̨̖̝͇͙͎̝̝͖̜͉̟̣̳̣̳̪͇̝̺̱͔̣͙̻͑̓͋̂̀̓͌̈́͋̃̒͗͑̉̌́͘͘̕͘͝ͅE̶̛̱̮̬̼̥̩͇͍͊͘͜ ̵̛̃̋̾͒͒͗̔͐̑̑̇̕͜C̷̠̠͉͚̮̮͊͐̒̿̂̕ͅI̷̡̨̨̧̢̦̹̙̣̹̤̯̱͖̖̭̣͖̖̖̣̳̬̳̞̻̝̙̺͑͑́̅̒̀͗͜T̴̤̽͗̂͑̈́̓̑̈́̈́̈́̓̿͊̋̅̐̕̚̕Ÿ̸̡̢̟̲̻̳̙̗̬͇̞̟̩͎̥͈̮́̓͛̕͝ͅ.”

“Really?” The human that spoke first asked.

“You bitch.” He responded with a screeching tone.

“You’re kidding.” He shot back.

Another person in the room hit the human with the screeching tone with an alluminium bottle. The first person chuckled and said something about Fechlin getting killed by George. The human hit by the bottle screeched in pain, and keeled over. A human that hadn’t been doing much so far observed casually, and the first human turned to him, and asked.

“Futacocklover69, do you have any grapes?”

“Why yes, of course, Hard.” Futacocklover handed Hard a handful of grapes.

Twilight was confused with what was going on here, to be sure, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know, so she simply tried to speak, and address what was happening directly. But as she tried to speak, she found that her body was completely frozen in place, and the same was so with the rest of the Mane Six, Twilight tried to cast a spell to free herself, but the force holding her in place was adamant.

A cat that sat on the bench started droning on about Obama as Twilight casted spells, each one more convoluted than the last. Hard then turned to the Mane Six, finally taking notice of them, and spoke in a surprisingly boomerish tone.

“Ah, our guests.”

Hard flicked his hand, and the force restraining them dissipated, Rainbow Dash, being the egotistic, overconfident cunt she is, immediately flew up to him and tried to look intimidating. Unfortunately for her, or fortunately, depending how you look at it, Hard didn’t view a rainbow pony less than half his volume as very threatening. Rainbow began to speak, but was cut off by Hard.

“You’re the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the-th-the Sunshine Rainbow White Pony, Di da di di di da.” He sang it in Mandarin Chinese, but to everyone in the room, he sounded awfully like he was mocking the Chinese accent while saying a word that rhymes with Zigger.

(Okay, just to clarify, Zigger, according to urban dictionary is a Zebra without its white stripes, this is the one definition I am meaning to convey in this circumstance, I am in no way trying to explicitly, or implicitly be racist, or encourage racism.)

“What?” Rainbow asked, perplexedly.

Hard took this opportunity to pick up rainbow, and toss her like a basketball at Fechlin, sho was still writhing in pain, he groaned as Rainbow hit him. Everyone expect the Mane Six broke into hysterical laughter, Fechlin even joined in after George brandished his bottle menacingly. They all wheezed, and collapsed, except from Fechlin, who had received too much damage to his lungs to wheeze, and he had already collapsed. The Walrus, Pony Ass Connoisseur leapt up, and drifted across the floor, did a triple barrel roll, and spanked Fluttershy on the ass with his flipper.

“Ow.” She cowered away.

George wheezed, and mocked the room’s contents in general with derogatory comments about Bronyism. Suddenly, a blobfish walked through a wall, holding shopping bags.

“Sorry, I’m late, have some memes, and drop Dragon349295 a follow.”

“No, please don’t, he’s a cringe edgelord that doesn’t understand the Vatican.” Hard said.

“You’re not a real person, you can’t hurt me.” Futacocklover69 said determidly.

“Butler’s Crotch Tits With A Side Of Infrastructure is all too real.” Hard said.

“It can’t be.”

Butler’s Crotch Tits With A Side Of Infrastructure threw a picture of Mr Bean the founding father at Futacocklover69, Futacocklover69 dodged aside, so Butler’s Crotch Tits With A Side Of Infrastructure chuckled, and threw a spare Hobgoblin at Futacocklover69, who wasn’t able to dodge this projectile.

“Gorb!” The Hobgoblin screeched as it deflected off Futacocklover69.

Fechlin was still writhing in agony, everyone continued to ignore him.

“Okay, I suppose Lorx is real.” Futacocklover69 concluded.

Suddenly, Discord appeared.

“Enjoying your time here, my little ponies?” He half spat out the last bit

“What the hell, Discord!” Rainbow said incredulously, always the first to get something out of her mouth.

“Now, there’s no need for aggression, I simply thought it would do you some good to experience this.” Discord spoke.

“And what good would that be, Discord?” Twilight asked.

“Why, soon I’m sure you’ll have to face George, so this might be a good way to prepare you.” Discord said.

George then took that precise moment to hit Fechlin past the render distance. George then proceeded to calmly sit down, and chuckle at boomer humour. Discord gestured towards George as if that were sufficient to justify putting the Mane Six through this brief, albeit unpleasant affair. Twilight sighed.

“Just take us back.”

Discord snapped his fingers, and they were back in Ponyville, the sun had yet to rise, but they were all gathered on a field, in a circle, most certainly Discord’s doing. As the Mane Six all prepared to go their own ways for the day, they all got a shared vision, one of George breaking free of Tartarus.

“Discord’s doing, right?” Applejack asked.

“Um… I don’t think Discord would do that…” Fluttershy said.

“Well, the Author’s about to reach 1000 words, so he can publish, and he doesn’t want to extend this chapter, as with every day that passes, he receives an increasing amount of death threats, so we should do something conclusive about now.”

“Darlings, we should take this News to Celestia right away.” Rarity Enunciated.

“Oh come on, just 50 more words?” Rainbow pleaded.

“No.” Twilight shut down the idea.

The Mane Six headed for Canterlot.

Author's Note

After someone's urging, I made something for April Fool's, which ended up being late (I'm sorry), But now the death threats can stop, because I finished the goddamn story!