Of Law and Friendship

With another step, Celestia pushed the loose stones on the ground aside. Ancient remains of majestic rocks who stood against the foam swirling waves of the sea countless aeons ago.

They hurt her hooves. She was walking along the rugged cliffs since hours and even if it was hard to remember, she knew the pain in her legs didn't raise as she went further. In every step the pain stopped with the raise of her hoof and returned with the muted push on the ground, but there was no exhaustion. Her legs burned, but that's what they always did when she walked down this way.

She never was here before, but she was sure that it has been always this way. Too well known was the feeling of her sore throat that was parched by the salty winds of the sea. And too well known was her only companion, the moon who stood majestic in the dark sky. But he was cruel. Not relief was what he offered, only cold and bright light that gave it's metallic color to everything he touched.

She wasn't able to look at him. The moon would just rip the eyes out of her face. No, it was no use to spend time with him. Too much other things had to be done here. The sea told her. She just had to keep walking, and she did. The voice of the sea was always right, had always downed her doubts. So did it now.

It changed. The time she didn't visit this place was long. The song of the singer faded away long-since. There were no cries and white paintings on cold stone were telling about free flights over the sea. Only the waves were still the same, even if its temper was boiling these nights.

Wordless Celestia walked further along the cliffs. She tried to spot anything that could be worth to be her target, but the bright moonlight only revealed an endless path of rocks and stones. She wanted to stop in her faltering steps; she wanted to unfold her wings.

She would step close to the cliff, unfold them and jump down to a free flight over the endless ocean. But she didn't. She couldn't. She didn't even know how far it was away exactly, and the only thing that would wait for her was the key on its ground.
She had to find something different. She felt that it wasn't far away, but she couldn't see it. Too many things blocked her vision. If only the moon stopped to enlighten the unknown.

Pain filled her mind. It was a beautiful feeling. It drained slowly at her consciousness and gave her being a meaning. It told her how beautiful the gray rocks were, taught her about all the possibilities of this place.

And there was only her shining companion to correspondent with it.

The light brought her decay. Always when the pain was speaking in beautiful riddles, the moon interrupted with this sharp beams, cutting through the sensitive connection. Demanding.
She never understood it. There was nothing she had to offer, but still it never let her rest.

Or had she?
The moonlight shone bright.
But it couldn’t sleep in this bright light.
So it raised from its deep sleep, lusting for nothing more than darkness. It raised, and crept slowly forward, through her chest and her soul.

She could feel it raise, but the pain stopped her from crying. It told her that it would do nothing. It would do nothing but raise and feast from the beams that passed her eyes. It was hilarious. Now she had another companion. And he wasn’t cruel. He wasn’t anything at all. It would just creep forward, slowly raging through her chest.

She knew better. It was that old animal called longing. She longed for darkness. Loneliness would be better than the company of this cruel companion. She wanted to be alone; to be in the dark. She would find it. She would be able to find it. But she wasn’t. What was it, that denied a goddess from the search of something, that couldn’t be found?

The animal rose from the ground of her subconsciousness and began to feast just as the pain has told her. It raged, it crept and it ripped her soft flesh apart. She couldn’t keep walking with it inside her. She had to set a trap; she had to locate it and to get rid of it. Another companion meant another step farther away from her big target.

She didn’t know why. His company seemed nice. But he was just blocking her way as much as the cruel moon was. She had to be all alone, and she had to be it now. Time was passing too fast for interrupts like that.

Celestia knew she had to do it. She had to fight back the longing, and she had to kill it.
So she enticed it, burned her eyes in the moon. Her pain was screaming. She was barely able to keep the fine connection alive, but the price for this fight would be worth it. The gray moon ripped at her eyes, and cut through her mind. She kept walking as the screams fell silent.

Her steps felt heavier than before, and her mind began to grow empty. Nothing seemed to push her forward anymore, but the animal was coming closer. The longing raised and right before she failed in her steps, she gripped it tightly. Now she had it, now she was able to look away from her oldest companion, back to the beautiful gray stones again. As she looked at their beauty, and at the beautiful white paintings of long-since passed times, her pain grew slowly back in its strength.

She had to rest a bit, walking in empty steps and letting the pain refill her mind, before she was able to return to her new possession.
Now she got it, now it was hers. She wanted to stave in its head, but its screams of fear were too touching. She couldn’t kill her own longing. She gave a little bite of light to it, just to give back the ability to speak. She felt it wouldn’t hurt her anymore, and maybe it knew something.

It bagged, nothing shall she do to him, not the slightest harm was offered here from any party.
It wasn’t his fault. He was just a wild animal.
He said he never wanted to hurt her. Regrettably he’s stuck in her, but if she would let him go, let him survive this journey, then she never should feel empty again. Then he always will be in her.

Celestia stopped her tracks only for few seconds. Maybe it was right. Company surely wasn’t handy at this waters, but it was far too dangerous to let the moon fill her mind again. And who knows, maybe she would never will find an animal again.

She reentered her walk and agreed, it shall happen. It shall be that way.

The creature sank down and rolled itself to a little ball. It degraded itself, and fell into a sleep, it one would call it like that.
And with that, the movements of the creature became fewer and finally left the range of her sense. It slept, and she walked under her companion, her mind filled with her pain and guarded by the silent grasp of the longing.

She walked and it was a joyful time. She enjoyed all the ancient relics down her hooves, the feeling of moving such mighty things and the long thoughts of helpless searching.
With more steps, more noises of waves reaching her ear and with more beams enlighten her paths, she quickly forgot about the new companion in her.

She turned her look over the wide waters of the seas. Furious and gray clouds were carried by cold winds all over the place, blocking every possible source of light. Except of the moon. They never would have had a chance to stand this powerful source, and only would turn into this mystic grayish coat that everything grew that dared to touch it.

Waves were sent against strong cliffs, filling the ash-tasting air with noises, beautiful enough to be created by the sirens.
Maybe she should hurry, it seemed that a storm was coming up - or just passed, right before her arrival.

Soon, one of the great clouds moved closer to the gray, shiny stone in the sky. Celestia wasn’t sure if it truly was going to block the vision between them, but her doubts faded with every second in which her stare moved closer to the moon, just following the movement of the cloud.

It came closer, and first rays met the particles of ash and dust. It was this time, when she became witness of a battle between giants. Rays were sent down from their master, ready to cut everything in they way into little pieces. But everything they met was a dark cloud, feasting away everything that could try to enlighten the paths below it.

It was a sight for gods, immortal eyes.

Celestia began to fade away, but just before she lost herself in the fight of giants, a throb in her chest dragged her mind back into action. A heavy breath escaped her lung. There was only one thing that was able to cause such an action.
Celestia closed her eyes and focused her mind on the big grab that guarded her pain. But for what she searched wasn’t to be found anymore. Panic slowly crept into her mind.

She extended her search, it had to be somewhere. She could feel the moon rays on her coat become weaker, and slowly not void but darkness began to fill her mind.
She searched. She began to leave the clusters of her consciousness. Not in her subconsciousness she expected it to be, but maybe somewhere between those big sections.

Even her pain became weaker, and the feeling of hard rocks under her hooves faded slowly away. The darkness became stronger, a big cloud of nothing more than unknown being that surrounded her thoughts. It was a wonderful feeling. She stepped further through her mind, and as the blackness became nearly perfect, a little white ball came into her view. She stepped closer to it, curiously. Feared.

She stepped closer and as she reached it, she laid her head down on it, listening to what was inside. She heard nothing. There was no throb in the white cotton ball. But it had to. This was were the animal laid down. Celestia turned her head away from the ball. She would find it.

Celestia entered deeper spheres of her mind, and the darkness, so seemingly perfect just a moment ago, filled now everything in her senses. She saw it, she smelled it and she tasted it. It was a taste of decay, rotting.

The darkness seemed endless, at least until a little glow came into view miles away. She knew that glow too well. It was that glow that rested in the deepest circles of the mind of every being. It was her soul. She had to reach it.

It was odd. As she stepped closer, the light should have become brighter, bigger, fighting the alimentary darkness back. But it didn’t. It nearly seemed, as if the darkness itself was casting Celestia into the light, like a mother that gave birth to a child. But she was already alive. The pain had told her.

The light wasn’t hurting her eyes. It called for her and the darkness pushed her forward. Only the steps hurt her thoughts. Every time when she came closer, a throb resonated through the endless darkness and herself, raising in its intensity constantly. Soon it filled her like a thunderbolt. She was barely able to stand it. If only her heart could fall quiet again.

Suddenly, everything fell quiet. The throbs stopped and the darkness faded. The light however extended and soon filled the whole space around her.

Celestia found herself standing in a white void, alone and empty. The noises felt quite. The pain, the longing, the hurting. All of them were gone.
Slowly she turned her head around and tried to find any spot in this place that seemed to be different in any possible way. She had to find something to reach.

And this time it wasn’t hard to find.
Celestia turned around. Behind her, a guise was standing deadly silent. It was cadaverous and had big black wings. She cried for pain, she cried for terror to fill up her mind. But she was all alone. Alone with this evil creature, a butterfly at her soul.

She looked at it. It were focusing her with anger and thirst. She knew that it wanted her blood. Then it began to move. It came closer to her, and Celestia knew that she had to die now.

As it reached her, a gentle smile crept across its face and it bowed down to her, to whisper words into her ear.

“It’s not my fault. I can’t stand it. I’m only a wild animal.”

--

Celestia awoke sweating in her bed. The moon was still standing high in the sky, and filled her chambers with bright light. Her eyes shot open, and screams were escaping her royal chest. She screamed as loud as she could, everything should vanish from her, she wanted to scream everything away.
As her lung ran out of air, she sank back into her comforting pillows. Sweat ran down her face and she wasn’t able to stop her eyes from twitching around until she was finally falling back into a seemingly endless sleep.