Author's Note

Hey first time readers!

I've completely scrapped the old AN in favor of this new one, where I urge you to give the story a chance.

These first couple chapters are, at best, subpar. I don't think I could read them, and I wrote them.

Basically, I'm just here to ask that you not judge the book by the cover here. The chapters after chapter seven are much better, so don't give up here if it hurts to read.

I promise, I'll try to make it worth your while.

Chapter 1 - The Walk Home

Celestial Year 991 AB

Equestria.

It's a beautiful place, one we all know well. A marvelous place, where a pony's dreams can come true. From the light-filled capital Canterlot; to the high spires of the bustling maretropolis known as Manehatten, there's a place for everypony. Filled with wonders and whimsy. Sights and sounds. Music and mayhem. Ponies and palaces. Creatures...and chapters of my newest book! Hello there ponies of all ages! I'm the world famous author Page Puncher, and I'm here to talk to you about-

Light Flow sighed as he tuned out the inane babbling coming from the nearby radio. He had hoped to catch something about the weather report for tomorrow, but no dice it seemed.

Rainstorms make for excellent brooding!

He turned away from the crowded front of the local bakery and continued his trot down the street towards his home. His mother always worried when he came home late, and while it didn't fit with his established personality, he didn't really want her to freak out.

He hated when she freaked out. It made him feel the opposite of dark and brooding.

He wasn't a foal!

As he walked down the twilight-shaded streets of Ponyville, he looked at the ponies around him. Watching what they were doing, hearing what they were saying, plotting out where they were going. It was a bad habit of his, really it was; though one he had tried very hard to fabricate for himself. It was a popular opinion in his books that cool ponies are wary and cautious, and that meant watching the ponies around him.

He was cool, and watchful!

Unfortunately, as he tried very hard to fit into his own definition of 'cool'; he walked directly into a pony who was quite obviously standing in front of him. If he had been any good at looking at the ponies around him, he definitely would have noticed the obstacle; though he'd never admit it to anypony. The collision shocked him out of his pony-watching, and he turned a furious gaze upon the fool that dared to stand in his way!

Oh. It was his neighbor. He didn't actually know her name, but she was really nice, and she gave him fresh fruit from her cart sometimes.

Nice ponies are the antithesis of those who lurk in the dark!

He frowned at her, and swished his two-tone red and brown mane out of his eyes. He had grown his mane out specifically so that he could do that. Mysterious ponies always have long manes that they have to constantly flip out of their eyes. Of course, he was only nine, and his mane was barely long enough to even dip down into his vision, but it was the principle of the thing!

Internally, he was thinking about how much longer it would take for his mane to reach a certified 'cool' length. He wasn't really sure how long that was, but he was sure that he would know it when it happened. He shook his head slightly to shoo away the stray thoughts, and turned his short attention towards the pony in front of him.

The nice pony-who-he-hated smiled down at him sweetly. Completely unaware of the plot he was hatching at that very second to dispose of this hated do-gooder! First, he would club her over the head! Then he would get rid of the witnesses. Then, he would-

"Well hello there Light Flow! How are you today? Are you getting along with the other foals at school? You're not getting into fights are you? Are you getting enough to eat? How is your mother? Is she well? You know, I saw her the other day at-"

The nice pony-who-he-despised cleverly targeted his only weakness: boring things! His eyes glazed over, and he began to lose focus on his forming plan to dispose of the body.

No! He cannot be defeated!

He had to think of a way to escape the nonsense filling his head! He was in serious danger here! After all, how can he plot his schemes if all he can think about is his mother's encounters with boring old ladies!? He tried desperately to catch his fleeing thoughts before they escaped his head and let those around him know of his dastardly schemes. Metaphorically making a leap, he finally managed to wrangle one! He had a plan, now all he had to do was implement it...

"Um that sounds great ma'am, but I gotta get home, so bye!" He mumbled out, and quickly left the NOT-victorious old mare behind. The plan was a total success! He heard her call out about whether his mother was free tomorrow, but he shut his ears from the sickly-sweet words of the kind fruit vendor. Resolving to steel his will against her endless tirades of nothingness the next time he encountered her, he trotted down the street to his home.

The setting sun framed the far-off royal city of Canterlot, and he made yet-another promise to himself to one day rule from there with a mighty iron hoof. He stood around for a moment, admiring the cool shades of encroaching nighttime and reveling in the darkness, before promptly hurrying on his way.

Of course night is his favorite time of day! It's not scary at all!

He stalked through the darkness, letting it envelop him like a cloak; before letting out a fearsome battle-cry when he suddenly heard a noise in the dark. He whirled around to the source, ready for battle, but found nothing there. He laughed in a fearsome manner, before walking at an average pace towards his home.

Even the most fearsome monsters fear something. And that something was Him!

As his house came into view, he internally sighed, and let his practiced stormy visage fade away. He walked across his slightly-overgrown lawn with his brows furrowed and his ears folded. Coming to his doorstep, he looked down at his brown hooves and let a real frown form on his face.

Practicing to be a villain is really hard...