Where Is My Mind?

by rosebug

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Dark
Length: 6040

Bon Bon wakes up one morning to find she is no longer in control of her life

Bon Bon wakes up one morning to find she is no longer in control of her life, all she can do is watch as something slowly messes up everything she had worked so hard for, while she stands quietly by.
With the little interaction and strength she has to work with, Bon Bon works to formulate a plan to get her body back and take back control of her life.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-18 03:54:32 UTC

Prologue

I have no idea where I am.

When I woke up this morning, I had imagined that it would be a perfectly average day.  I would wake up, jump in the shower, eat breakfast and go to work.  It may seem like a somewhat monotonous schedule, but unlike my roommate Lyra, I enjoy having a routine to stick to in the morning.

When I woke up this morning, I expected that the first thing that I would see was a collage of photographs of my family back in Manehattan, staring back at me with bright and cheery smiles, reminding me of innocent times when I did not have to work for a living.

When I woke up this morning, I believed that I would smell the sweet scent of cinnamon buns that Lyra had promised to reheat for breakfast this morning.  All night the scent of the warm, steamy breakfast food had been running through my head, reminding me of what was coming my way once I turned off my alarm and got out of bed.  After all, it wasn't very often that Lyra and I had leftovers from Sugarcube Corner.

Unfortunately, I was not as lucky as I had hoped I would be.

I woke up and the first thing I saw was myself, still fast asleep on my bed curled up in my quilt with a smile on my face.  My first thought was that I was dreaming, it couldn't have possibly be anything else right?

Right?

I poked myself with my hoof as I stared down at the sleeping version of myself, and felt no pain.  A dream, just as I had expected.

That was a sigh of relief, for a moment there I thought that I had died.  This was probably just a very realistic dream, it must have had something to do with the dinner Lyra made last night.  If I remember this dream when I wake up, I need to make a mental reminder to never let her cook again.

I couldn't smell anything and anytime I tried to latch on to anything in the room I fell right through it.  I haven't even been awake for five minutes and I already knew that today was not at all what I had imagined it would be.

Several minutes passed, or so my clock claimed, and I started to get restless. I wasn't entirely sure what one does while they are stuck in a dream.  If I was Lyra or any of my other friends, perhaps I would have already gone out into Ponyville to see what kind of havoc I could pull before I woke up.

That's not who I am though, so instead I tried to wake myself up.  I tried poking my body, hitting it, kicking it, trying anything I possibly could to wake myself up.

Nothing happened, I just passed through my body as if I wasn't even there.

I groaned in annoyance and started floating around my room.  I came back to the idea of trying to go outside and check out what my dream version of Ponyville looked like, but whenever I got close to a window I was pulled back towards my bed by some invisible force.

When the alarm finally started ringing, I grinned.  This had to be it, the end of this annoying dream.  In a moment, my eyes would open up and I would see that collage, smell that breakfast, and get on with my schedule.  I looked on as my body started to stir, but even as my body sat up in bed, I was still floating above my bed.

Was I dead?  Was I still asleep and just experiencing a vivid dream?  I was really hoping that it was the latter of the two, the former must have meant that there was something wrong with me when I went to bed.  I rack my brain trying to recall what had happened before I went to bed, but all I remember is joking around with Lyra over the dinner she had attempted to make a few hours ago.

If I was dead, I was more than ready to blame it all on Lyra's cooking, but I knew that wasn't the case.  I feel like I would know if I was dead.  I wasn't one to live in denial, and I knew that I hadn't been sick or hurt before I went to bed.  Just the other day, I had visited the local doctor and was given a clean bill of health.  Things like that don't always just change overnight.

“Bon Bon!  Get your butt out of bed!  I reheated those cinnamon buns!”  Lyra's voice rang out through the hallway.

“Of course today would be the one day that she was awake before I was,” I sighed.

“Jeeze Bon Bon!  I know it's a Saturday, but it's not like you to sleep this late!”  Lyra said as she walked into my room.

I waved my arms rapidly trying to get her attention, this was probably all in my mind.  It was the only other logical explanation for it, I am probably standing on the ground waving my arms just imagining I'm flying for some odd reason.  Lyra can probably see me clearly and is waiting for the right moment to burst out laughing and admit to me how silly I look.  We would share a laugh about it over breakfast and by the middle of the day it would be forgotten.

“Lyra it's me!  Can you see me?”  I called out, she didn't answer, of course it wouldn't be like that.  That would be too easy.

Instead I looked down at my body, which was rubbing its eyes to get the sleep out of it.  Lyra walked over to the edge of the bed, got up on her hind legs and pulled my cover off of my body.  My body responded by instantly throwing a pillow at Lyra.  At first Lyra was surprised by the ambush, but quickly recovered by laughing, and my body joined in on the laughter.

I was still not in my body, and I would take my body being up and moving to mean that I am not dead.  I decided to go back to my first interpretation.  This is just a dream.

A very vivid dream.

My body and Lyra laughed hysterically as if they were in on an inside joke that I didn't understand.  I wanted desperately to be a part of that.  I had to get out of this dream that I was stuck in, it has done nothing so far except bore me and remind me of my school days.

My body got out of bed and followed Lyra to the kitchen, entirely ignoring the unmade bed I... she?  It?  Had left behind.  I frowned, dream or not I refused to let that thing leave my bed a mess like that.  I tried to float over to it, but every inch towards the bed I got, it became increasingly harder to move.

I moved against the force that tried to push me backwards, gritting my teeth.  Since when was making a bed this difficult?  I knew my dream world was somewhat off kilter from reality, but this was insane.  All I wanted to do was make my bed!

I attempted to take another step further, but instead of reaching the quilt that had been carelessly tossed about by the fake me I was catapulted backwards.  I closed my eyes, fearing the worst, after all the walls have proved themselves to be pretty solid.  Lyra and I learned that after Berry Punch got in a fight with a poster during our housewarming party.

She ended up in the Ponyville hospital for breaking her foreleg.  It was not a pretty sight.

I assumed even if this was a dream, it would at least be mildly uncomfortable for my dream self.  So, I braced myself for a similar fate, instead I disappeared through the wall and reappeared in the hallway outside my room in little more than the blink of an eye.

Being pulled by this invisible force continued until I was once again hovering above my body and no matter how much I forced myself to try and walk away from it all, something wasn't letting me.

“Bon Bon, what do you think of going into the market today?  Our cabinets are kinda bare,” Lyra said as she chewed on a cinnamon bun loudly.  I couldn't help but roll my eyes at my roommate, she had a bit of a habit of talking while she ate, Lyra was always apologetic when I pointed it out to her, but it had always been a pet peeve of mine.

The fake me didn't seem fazed in the slightest.

“Sounds great!  I could definitely use some fresh air,” she nodded enthusiastically.

“Cool, I bet if we're really nice to Carrot, she'll give us a free smoothie,” Lyra beamed, the fake Bon Bon laughed, I just rolled my eyes.  I had never had a dream like this before and I was starting to wonder how my unconscious mind even came up with the idea of watching as a fake version of me interacted with my best friend.

“Oh you know Carrot Top,” the fake me said as she waved a hoof carelessly.

“Oooo Bon Bon!  I almost forgot, guess what finally came in the mail for me yesterday?”  Lyra jumped off the cushion she had been sitting on and ran into her room.  The fake me just sat there patiently, slowly eating her cinnamon bun with a smirk on her face.

Lyra came back moments later with some sort of huge book being held by her magic, she placed it on the table in front of the fake.  I looked down at it, it was a thick brown leather bound book with the words; Humans:  Myths, Notions and Artifacts, etched on it in gold writing.  Of course it had something to do with humans, Lyra's one obsession.  I was surprised she didn't mention it to me yesterday.

“It took awhile, but this book finally came in stock for me!  It's all about the myth behind humans and some of the theories ponies have come up with surrounding them and their culture.  Pretty cool right?”

It was not, Lyra was always trying to get me interested in humans, but I just didn't understand the appeal.  How is it possible for some kind of mammal to walk on their hind legs and not fall over?  The fake Bon Bon said something about how great that was and how it sounded really interesting.  I huffed, obviously Lyra was gonna pick up on that and ask what was up with me.  As much as I love her, I've found it really difficult to understand her, but I'm sure she feels the same way about me.

“Really?  You think so?”

“Absolutely!”

I couldn't watch this any longer, the fake me was just too annoying to pay attention to.  Sure playing along with Lyra's antics can be a lot of fun sometimes, but actually showing interest in her obsession with humans?  How had Lyra not even bothered to really ask if there was something wrong with me?  I always give her a hard time about it, not out of hatred, out of love... and slight annoyance for her bringing it up so often.

Yet she never said a word.

We left the house not long after they finished breakfast.  I mention myself in there because it seemed that anywhere the fake went, I was forced to follow.  I was starting to think that this was some sort of nightmare.

Lyra and the fake went into the market and instantly walked over to Carrot Top's booth.  It had become a ritual for the two of us to stop there first and buy something from her, even if we didn't want to.  Carrot Top often found herself trying to compete with the Apple family for business, and usually ended up losing to them.  Compared to apples, there just wasn't as much you could do with carrots that people enjoyed.

“Hiya Carrot Top!  How's life going?” Lyra asked enthusiastically.  Today, she could have rivaled Pinkie Pie in terms of bubbliness, not that it was unusual for her, Lyra had always been easily excited, I just didn't feel the same way right now.

Carrot Top did not share Lyra's enthusiasm either, which was something I could understand and appreciate.  This nightmare I was having, did not in any way, shape, or form, put me in a good mood.

“Eh, it's been better,” she responded simply.

“Dinky still not feeling well?”  Lyra asked.

“No,” Carrot Top sighed, “she's been feeling better lately, but she still keeps getting these terrible nightmares.  Derpy and I have no idea what to do about it.”

I know how Dinky feels, this is one nightmare I can't wait to be rid of.  Why do nightmares seem to last longer than nice dreams?  This has been drawn out far too long for my liking.

“Money's been tight for her lately and I can't say I have enough to help them out more than I already have,” Carrot Top added.  I must have missed some part of the conversation worrying about this dream.  When did money come into the conversation?

“Aww, so no free carrot smoothie then?”  The fake asked pouting.  My eyes went wide and I could feel my body tensing up, I got closer to my impostor than I ever have before and tried to kick her as hard as I could.  How dare she ask my friend that!  My leg went straight through her body as I expected, but it did make me feel a little better to get that out of my system.

“Oh... well... I mean it isn't a big deal.  You guys are some of my closest friends.”

The way she said that made it seem like it was a big deal and I could tell Lyra heard it in her voice as well.  She nudged the fake me and gave her a stern look, the fake acted oblivious to the whole situation, as if she had done nothing wrong.  It was quiet for a moment as Lyra most likely tried to come up with an explanation for why I had just acted like a complete jerk.

“She's joking obviously,” Lyra explained.  “We'd love some smoothies though.”

Carrot Top nodded, as if trying to make sense of what had just happened.  Usually I'm the sweet one who tries to explain Lyra to other ponies, it must be strange for Lyra to have to explain me to other ponies.

Color me surprised that nopony has asked me if there was anything wrong.  I find it strange that nopony has said anything about the fake me.  Was everypony just oblivious to my personality today?

The conversation went flat after that, the fake Bon Bon was now trying to cover up her obvious error by saying as little as possible.  Lyra and Carrot Top seemed all the happier to go along with it for now, once Lyra paid her for the smoothies and the few extra carrots they would need for cooking, she and the fake headed to our normal table in the marketplace.

“Wow Bon Bon, that was kinda rude of you,”  Lyra finally said once they both sat down.

The fake just shrugged, “I didn't mean it to come off that way.  I thought we were just joking around, besides it's still early on a weekend.  I'm just not thinking straight yet.”

Early?  It's 10 am on a Saturday, almost half the day is gone already.  Lyra should pick up on that, I've always been a morning pony.  Always.  Saying that I'm not is a little sketchy.

“I guess... it's a little odd for you though...” Lyra trailed off.  I smiled, finally she points out an obvious mistake in her demeanor.

“I was up late last night, later than I expected to be jotting down new recipe ideas for chocolates that I had come up with,”

Lyra nodded, she seemed to buy it, but I'm not sure how she could possibly buy that huge lie.  My current candy recipes were perfection and you do not mess with perfection.  Listening to the two of them made my physically sick sometimes, as my best friend Lyra should be the one who obviously picks out the differences in my behavior.  She should have realized much earlier, that something is wrong.

Even in a dream that shouldn't be a problem.  Right?

Right?

Something has happened to me, I can feel it.  This isn't a dream, as much as I wish this nightmare would just end with me waking up in my own bed, I know it won't happen.  I know that just trying to believe that makes me look silly and naïve.

I made it through a whole day like that, one full day of watching my body interact with my friends, my neighbors, and my stuff.  It should be clear to everypony that this isn't me, that there is something wrong with how I'm acting, there are so many things my body is doing and saying that I would never do or say.

It took all of my strength not to start crying on the spot at various points in the day, it was the hardest not to do so whenever my body was with Lyra.  After all that time we had spent together, all those years of friendship, how could she not have noticed that there was something different about me?

She didn't even once ask if I was okay when I wasn't.

I watched as my body snuggled into my bed all wrong, the quilt was all messed up instead of evenly stretched out over the entire bed, she was curled up into a little ball when I sleep straight on my back.  How has nopony noticed these glaring mistakes?  If I were them, I would have noticed immediately.  I would have known something was wrong, so why is it so hard for them to notice it?

Whenever my body talked it didn't even sound like me, it sounded like somepony who was attempting to recreate my voice... and failing.

“What's going on?”  I cried out.

After staying silent for so long it was nice to finally speak, even if nopony could hear me.

Chapter 1

When I was a filly, there was a book that I liked to read every night.  It chronicled the tale of a curious filly who was not much older than I was at the time I would read it.  This filly, through a series of events, fell into a strange world that differed so greatly from the world she had come from.

On the way down to this strange new world, things seemed almost normal to her.  As she fell down the hole, she noticed normal things from her everyday life.  Time was on her side as her life changed, it made the change seem more bearable.

For me, it happened too quick to take in anything.

One morning I woke up and somepony else had already taken over my body.  There was nothing to notice, and there was nopony to help me comprehend what was going on.  I was just floating in the middle of nowhere, watching as somepony or something else pretended to be me.  At this point, it had been going on for two weeks.

Two very long and agonizing weeks.

Two weeks of watching my friends (and even my family at one point) talk to the fake Bon Bon as if nothing was different, despite her mannerisms being nothing like my own.

Two weeks to the day that I watched the fake me snuggle into bed and go off into dream land while I just hovered above her and continued to think about how I could possibly get out of this situation.

Tonight was different for some reason.  I could feel it in the air.

Just as the fake closed her eyes, a strange and unfamiliar darkness engulfed me.

My room went pitch black and silence blanketed me like a fresh snow fall.  I could no longer hear the sounds of the fake breathing while she slept.  It was a feeling that was both comforting and unsettling.

“Hello?”  I called out, looking back and forth in an attempt to break the unending silence.

At first there was nothing, just an endless void of blank space.  Then, without another thought, the void expanded and became a magnificent tapestry of dark greens and deep browns that surrounded me.

I shook my head, unsure of what I had just seen.  Just a few moments ago I had been stuck in a never ending cycle following my impostor.  Now?  I had no clue where I had landed myself.

I looked at the ground and smiled.  It had been weeks since my hooves had touched anything other than air, it was refreshing to feel the cool and soft moss on the ground of the forest.  I took in a deep breath of fresh air and laughed.

For weeks I had felt like I was dead, it didn't matter what I did, it had no effect on the life the fake was portraying.  It did nothing, but make me feel like a fool.

Now, here I was... somewhere.  Wherever this somewhere was.

Wherever I was, it was the first time in a long time that I felt alive and free.

“Bon Bon!”  a distressed voice called out.

I stopped where I was and frantically looked around me for the source of the voice, but my short search yielded nothing.  All I could see were trees, grass, and flowers for miles.  I shrugged, it didn't matter at this point.  Anything was better than staring at an impersonator all day for two weeks straight.  Even if I was in the middle of nowhere.  Honestly, there was no way things could get worse.

Since I didn't hear anything else around me, and saw nopony looking for me.  I decided it would be better to move on and do something that would stretch my legs.  It felt like it had been years since I was last able to do that.

There was a patch of flowers up ahead.  Daffodils, my absolute favorite.

It had been awhile since I last ate...

So it was settled, I would walk over a few feet from where I was currently standing, to eat some flowers.  It would not only make me feel better, but I could exercise my legs some more.

I never thought it would come to the day when I would be happy to have my hooves touch the ground.

I was especially happy to be tasting something for the first time in weeks.  It was a far cry from the fare I had gotten used to, now that both Lyra and I had taken cooking classes.  I had never been especially great at cooking anything other than sweets, but before those classes, it was usually impossible to leave Lyra alone in the kitchen without coming back to a huge mess.  Of course, she always did look proud of whatever she did, no matter what it was.

I would never know why though, didn't she ever get sick of ordering fast food every time she destroyed our dinner?  It wasn't as if Ponyville had a large market for that.

I sighed.

I miss her.

Not just Lyra, but all of my friends and all of my family.  I want to go back to my life.

My life without the fake Bon Bon.

Huff.

My face cringed up, what was that smell?  And, that sound?  I lifted my head up.  I didn't see anything in my line of sight.  Maybe it was just my imagination?

Huff.

And there it was again.

This time I decided that perhaps that sound was coming from behind me.  Slowly, I turned around and was met with large, scaly feet.

I didn't have to look up to know whatever it was, it did not look friendly.

I looked up anyway.

Why?  Why did I do that?

Stupid, stupid me.

Towering above me, was a large lizard-like creature standing just a few feet away from where I stood.  I could feel my cheeks heat up and my heart beat faster as I took a step away from the flower, the creature looked up and caught my gaze.  I took another step back and the large creature took two steps closer.

Every step I took backwards, the lizard took larger ones towards me.  So this was it, this was the end.

A little bit of time away from the fake me, and I was about to be killed by a giant lizard.  Just my luck.

I finally broke the gaze of the lizard and was able to feel my legs again.

There was only one thing to do now.  I turned around and ran away from this thing as fast as I could, I could hear it stomping on the ground after me, but I hoped that I had enough of a head-start to get away from this creature.

The stretch of grass I was running on was endless.  Nothing but grass and trees for as far as my eyes could see.  I enjoyed that before, when I came to the realization that I could actually touch things.  Now?  Not so much.  I was starting to get tired out, but I couldn't stop now.  The creature was still there, still just a few dozen feet behind me, and definitely still chasing me.  If I stopped now, I would never survive.

“Bon Bon!”

And of course, there was that mysterious voice again.  If anypony wanted to step in and save me, now would be a great time.  I closed my eyes for a brief second, waiting for somepony to take me away from this.

And just like the past two weeks, I had no such luck.

I was going to die, and after what felt like hours of endless running, I noticed it.  An end.

More specifically, it was a ledge.  No bridge or anything, just a ledge that ledge to a giant pit.

But at least I didn't have to run anymore.

And maybe this meant that I would no longer have to float next to somepony pretending to be me.

Nope, thinking positive did not make this experience any better.  It didn't make it any worse, but it definitely didn't make me feel any better about my choices.  I would either fall off this ledge and end up as a beige pony pancake on the ground below, or I would be eaten alive by this lizard.  Honestly, I didn't want to see how either choice looked on the way down.

If I closed my eyes I could be anywhere.  I could be with my friends, in Sugarcube corner, or even flying through the air.

Flying through the air.

Honestly, of all the things I could have come up with, this one felt the most real.  I could feel the wind in my mane, the feeling of nothing but air underneath me.  Perhaps I did fall off the ledge, and this is just how I chose to imagine falling.  I guess of all scenarios it was the one that made the most sense.  Floating, falling.  Same thing, I suppose.

I waited for the end to come, for the pain to flow through my body before ultimately losing all sense of feeling, but it never came.  I knew the ledge was tall, but I didn't realize it was that tall.  I carefully opened one eye and glanced around me, cringing in fear for what I would see.

I was definitely not near the ground, in any way shape or form, but I wasn't falling either.  Actually, what I saw shocked me more than anything.

I was flying.  I moved my hoof down my sides.

No wings to be felt.  Curious.

I looked up and received my answer.  Little Dinky, a friend from home, was holding me up by my midsection with a little bit of silver magic as she held on to a rope attached to a tree on the other ledge on the other side of the pit.

“Dinky?  What's going on?!  What are you doing here?!” I exclaimed.

Dinky didn't respond.  Instead, she pointed a hoof to the other side of the cliff as if she was determined to just fling me over there or something.  I wasn't sure if that was any safer than falling off a cliff or being eaten by some lizard, but this time I really didn't have any other options.

Why has this so quickly become my life?  Why couldn't I just open my eyes and wake up in my own bed?  Why couldn't I just go back to making candy?  Did I really have to risk life and limb for no apparent reason?

“Just trust me, right now!  I've got something up my horse shoes!”

“Trust you?!”  Yep, there it was.  She was going to do something insane.  This filly who is less than half my age was going to be the death of me.  Now is a perfectly good time to worry.  “Dinky!  You're a filly!  You can barely do magic!”

“Bon Bon, just trust me.  I know what I'm doing.”

I didn't respond, but once again I just shut my eyes.  Whatever was coming next, I really didn't want to see it.  I waited for a different sensation of flying.  One that was less swinging back and forth on a rope and more flying a few feet then falling to my death.  It never came.

I opened my eyes once again.  I was still swinging back and forth on a rope with Dinky, although now we were starting to drift further and further away from the lizard, as if we had some sort of control over where we could go.

“Dinky... what's going on?” I finally managed to squeak out.

Before Dinky could say anything, the lizard that had been chasing me for miles, exploded right before my very eyes.  I wasn't sure whether to be impressed or incredibly terrified.

Terrified.  I'm definitely going to go with terrified.

I was just standing there a few minutes ago!  That could have been me!  What is going on here?  And, where exactly am I?

I kept all these thoughts to myself as Dinky slowed down the swing of the rope and brought us back to where the lizards remains were still smoking.  I was secretly glad she didn't decide to fling us across the large divide, but I wasn't sure how being back here was any better.

The moment we were both safe on the ground and had gotten a few more feet away from the steep ledge, I had the meltdown that I had been holding in for weeks now.

“What is going on?  Between the fake me and now all of this... what is happening to my life?!”

“Ah-ha!  So that wasn't you!  I knew it!”

I paused and looked at the bubbly little unicorn.  How could she have known that it wasn't me?  In the two weeks that my life had been compromised, the fake me only stopped by her house once and I only saw her for a total of maybe ten minutes.  In all honesty, there were many more ponies that saw me for longer than that and they didn't seem to get the hint that there was something different about me.

“How did you know?  I saw you for maybe ten minutes and you were sick in bed!”

“There are a lot of things you don't know about me... there are actually a lot of things most ponies don't know.”

“Dinky, you're eight years old.  What could you possibly know about this?  And, what were those lizard things?  I know it was you who blew it up.  There is nopony else around here.”  I paused. “Or are there?”

“Look there is a lot I can't explain right now.  Just follow me, okay?”

She looked so calm and collected, as if a giant lizard didn't just explode in front of us.  It has all been a very puzzling experience, especially seeing Dinky so active and courageous.  The word around town lately is that little Dinky hasn't been feeling up to par these past few weeks, yet here she is walking around and using magic better than most unicorns her age.

“Easier said than done!”  I announced, following her only out of will for survival than actual acknowledgment that she actually had any clue as to what was going on.

“Trust me.  I know what I'm doing.”

I felt like I had come to a point in my life where because I have no other options, I just choose the one most likely to bring me some sort of satisfaction later in the day.  Living a little bit longer being the most optimal option, of course.

And Dinky was able to kill that lizard thing.

So following her, and trusting her for that matter, was my best option.  Even though there was a rather large age difference between us.

She was my friend's daughter, after all!  Daughter.  If anything, it felt like she should be trusting me, not the other way around.

But...

But I would look for any way out of this crazy situation that I've been stuck in for weeks.  Even if it means asking a child for help.

“Dinky... where are we?  What's going on here?”

“You're in my dream.  I brought you here.”

I stopped in my tracks and looked at the filly as if she had three heads.

“How is that even possible?  You can barely do magic.”

Dinky stopped where she was and turned around to face me, a large smile still on her face as she responded.  “Sure I can, just not the way most ponies can.  I think my special talent is going to be dreams.”  Dinky paused and looked me up and down inquisitively.  “And apparently I am very good at telling the difference between a real pony and an impostor.”

“Dream magic?” I scoffed. “There is no such thing.  It's just an old mare's tale.”

“No, it's not.  I have complete control over all of my dreams.”

“Dinky, that is just called lucid dreaming.  Anypony can do it.  I've been known to be able to do it every once in awhile and I most certainly am not a unicorn.”

“This goes beyond just lucid dreaming!  I know it!”  She exclaimed, exasperated, as if my comment really hurt her feelings.  And, maybe it did.  Perhaps I've been away from regular pony life so long that I no longer take into account ponies feelings when I talk to them.

Dinky recovered from her moment of anger and quickly composed herself.

“Obviously I have the power to bring you into my dreams,” she added matter-of-fact.  “I just need to hone this magic into something I can use outside a dream.  So far, it has brought me nothing, but headaches.  I'm working on it though.”

“This is freaking me out.  What do you plan on doing with this special talent of yours?”

“Actually, I'm glad you asked.  Listen closely because I have this amazing plan!  All you have to do is...”

And just as quickly as everything began, everything began to fade out.  Dinky's words began to get muffled by static sounds and I could feel myself fading out.  Dinky's face turned to confusion as I tried to signal her to inform her that this was happening.  I had no idea if she could hear me, I had no idea if words were even coming out of my mouth, but I do know that once she realized what was going on, she began to rush her conversation.

“I'll get you back here tomorrow night and I...”

That was the last thing I heard.  Every other sound was replaced with the sound of static.  The background slowly began to lose its color.  Morphing from colorful greens and blues to shades of black and gray before fading into blobs.  It all seemed to go in slow motion as I was sucked out of Dinky's dream scape and back into reality.  I noticed every shift in color and shape, every distorted sound up until everything became indistinguishable from one another.

Then in a rush of colors and static sound, I was back in my room.  Back watching the fake live out her life and back not having a way to stretch my legs or a place to be heard.

I was nothing again.

“Dinky will come through for me.  Tomorrow night, I will have another opportunity to feel like a real pony again instead of some floating ghost.”

Was it wrong to put my faith in a child?  She could barely do magic, she didn't even have her cutie mark yet!  For Celestia's sake, Dinky wasn't exactly the most mature filly, even if she was able to portray herself that way in a dream.  Could I really trust her with my life?

I looked down at the pony that was sleeping in my bed, dual-colored mane a mess, but with a large smile on her face.

That should be me.  Not whoever it was that was pretending to be me.

I could feel the rage grow inside me.

Yes, I was going to trust Dinky with my life.  Despite her age, she was the only hope I had of ever getting my life back and I would take anything at this point.

“Please Dinky,” I silently pleaded.  “Please remember to bring me back tomorrow.  Please remember.  I don't think I can go on much longer like this.”