Lost in Sidequests

by Exodd

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Discord, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1668

Discords really like playing Ogres & Oubliettes, and wants all his friends to try it, at least once... or maybe more...

The friendship missions are such a bore!

Yes, there are action, objectives, even magic, but I'd like them more like... quests.
You know, like our O&O campaign.
Those quests are really something!
And I bet the Cutie Map here would agree too, what do you say?

Everyone - "Discord NO"

Discord YES

Story written for the "Game Life" contest in the group Quills and Sofas. Thanks a bunch for all the reviews!

Now with a Sequel, Lost in Sidequests: Epic Loot!, from the amazing The Hat Man!

Image by Goattrain.

Published 2021-04-05 18:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-05 18:20:01 UTC

For the Sword!

In the Friendship Castle, six cutie marks were lit up. And they all hovered on the large table at the center of the room. A lone and tired Twilight was looking at them, waiting for the rest of her… guild… to arrive.

The alicorn sighed. It had been one year since Discord made those few modifications to the Cutie Map, and they had adapted quickly, but still. The friendship missions had become more easy to manage, that was true, but at the same time it was a bit unsettling for her.

Some of the modifications? Well, there had always been a precise number of ponies that had to participate in a mission, but now they could actually choose who among them would go. Moreover the Map now reported a quick recap of what they would find and solve, that was a huge help.

Those were just some of the beneficial quirks Discord added. But at the same time, he had to… balance things in his own way, with some additional tampering.

“A new quest! Neat!” said a multicolor-maned pegasus, opening the doors of the room, revealing also two other ponies behind her.

“Now hol’ your horses, Dash. You know we first need to read— ”

“I already did,” Twilight cut short the conversation between the two. “Three ponies, Manehattan, six hours, here are the rewards,” she said, pressing a spot on the edge of the table. A large rectangular screen apparead at its center, showing a list of what seemed like old coats, fancy shoes and a heap of golden coins. At the bottom there was also a seapony shaped bow, dominated by the writing Best Time Reward (-3h).

Yes, those were two of the characteristics Discord absolutely felt any friendship mission should have. First, a time limit, that in itself was a ludicrous idea, but it wasn’t a real deadline. They could continue the mission past the limit, but then they would lose the rewards.

And the rewards themselves were not even real things, but in-quest objects, that had effect only inside the missions themselves, and had to be actually equipped before starting one. Yet, they were helpful in raising your stats, and one could strategically choose the right build for the quest at hand.

And also the stats were...

“Oh, Manehattan? I must absolutely go! It’s the perfect occasion to check on my shop without having to spend an entire day traveling!” The white unicorn sprinted to read the description of the quest, interrupting Twilight’s line of thought.

Instantaneous traveling. It was just a fancy name for long-distance teleportation. Instead of taking ages to get to distant lands by balloon or train or ship, now they just needed to accept the mission, and they would immediately get sent to the target location, or at least as nearby as possible. And the same, in reverse, would apply at the end of the mission.

Twilight shook her head, and turned to the other two. “Where are Fluttershy and Pinkie?”

Rainbow flew to the table, and landed on her chair. “Eh, they said they were busy. Told us to go get them only if we needed more ponies. But I guess we have enough right here.”

“Don’ count me in, Rainbow. Six hours are a tidbit too much. I have to hold a lesson at the farm today.”

“Pft, relax, you know that the time limit is usually waaaay too large. I’m sure we could complete it in half of the time, and get the bonus,” said Rainbow Dash, waving a hoof, and then focusing on the central screen. “That is, let’s see, Sea-Bow (+3 Kin). Uh, actually I don’t need it, and for a +3 item, I guess it isn’t even worth a lot of DBs…”

D-bits, or DBs, named after Discord himself, were the in-quest currency. They could be used only to buy or sell in-quest objects, but they had no weight on the real economy. In the past, Rainbow had tried to convince Discord to buy some D-bits using her own bits, but he denied and enigmatically answered that the game had no micro-transactions. Whatever that means.

“Speaking of which, how much did you say the sword cost?” asked Dash, looking at her freckled friend.

“Y’ mean, the one I dropped last time? Uh, that was… 50.000 DB, I reckon. Quite a sum, if you ask me.”

Rainbow groaned in disappointment. There were only two ways one could obtain items, other than as rewards for main quests. The first was quite similar, namely as rewards for sidequests, that could be found and completed only during the time span of the main ones, but you could never know in advance what sidequests and rewards you could get.

The second, was by buying them from your fellow guild members, for a price they could not choose, but was decided by the game itself and depended on the rarity and stats bonus. They felt it was a bit unfair that they could not simply hand them down or exchange items with their friends, but Discord thought it was all part of one’s ‘character build’.

Twilight frowned. “You mean, the Legendary Sword of Past Heroism (+10 Loy)? Dash, your Loyalty stat is already maxed out. What do you need that for?”

“I know, but… That’s so cool...”

Twilight rolled her eyes, then touched the Cutie Map, saying in a monotonic voice, “Quest accepted. Players: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle.”

The Map twinkled, three of the cutie marks disappeared and a prompt opened.

Quest Ready. Start? [Say ‘yes’ or ‘no’]

Twilight nodded, and told the others, “ladies, equip yourselves. Dash, raise Honesty. Rarity, raise Kindness. I’ll focus on Laughter. When you’re ready we can go.”

“That was… Intense, Darling.”

“Ugh, yes. Who could have imagined that a shop rivalry could span the whole town?”

“Indeed. Luckily, the guild chat let us communicate even at a great distance, otherwise we couldn’t have organized the synchronized blackout. And how did you manage to quickly find that former guard for the blueprints?”

“Oh, that wasn’t easy. You see, I discovered he had been shot in a knee, so I had to track this stallion up to the Archery Poniary Club, and then…”

A loud sound behind them, followed by a whimper, made them stop. Behind them, on the ground, laid an exhausted Rainbow Dash that was dragging herself on the ground with her hooves. It was like she could not walk.

“Rainbow Dash! Here you are! We haven’t seen you for most of the quest. What happened?”

Rainbow raised her head to look at them, and said in a worn tone, “Oh. Hey… girls… could you… please… give me… a hoof here…”

The two ponies rushed to her sides, and tried to bring her up, aiding her with their magic, but they couldn’t lift her even for a centimeter.

They all panted heavily, and then Twilight squared her. “Rainbow, what is thi… wait… how much are you carrying?”

Dash smiled nervously. “Eheh.. A bit… too much I guess..”

Twilight immediately said “Guild Status” and a panel opened in front of her, with the mane 6 names and photos. All of their stats, items, DBs were listed there. She clicked on Rainbow’s tab, and read her inventory parameters.

“253%?? Dash, that’s more than ‘a bit too much’. Even if they are imaginary objects, their weight could really crush you. And how did you get all of this stuff?”

Rarity, with a glint of suspicion, closed in Rainbow Dash and said “Rainbow, dear, did you perhaps lose time to accumulate rewards from… Oh, I don’t know.. Sidequests.. while I and Twilight were desperately trying to complete the Main Quest on time? And all of this, only to have enough items to sell for that stupid sword?”

Twilight sighed. The six hours time were almost up, and they barely managed to finish the mission. Few minutes later, the time limit would have expired. But anyway, that was still too late for Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow, do you know that you have to get to the station before the time limit if you want to retain your items, right?”

The station of Manehattan was their checkpoint. It was where they spawned at the start of the mission, and where they had to return when they wanted to go back to Ponyville.

“Yes..” She said, trying to move, and managing to go ahead only by matters of centimeters “..help?”

Twilight shook her head. “The station is too far and there’s no way you’ll make it in time, and even our magic is not enough. And you know that the teleportation spell makes you drop anything you are holding right now.” The same, they knew, would happen to all the players that would not get to the station in time, even if the mission itself was complete.

Rainbow looked up pleading at her two friends. “Could we maybe… Reset?”

The two unicorns (actually, alicorn and unicorn) looked at each other. The last, and maybe the only very helpful feature added by Discord. Reset.

At any moment during the mission, they could always decide to abandon the mission, and go back instantaneously to their standard checkpoint. It was literally a time-travel that brought you to the point of time when you started the quest.

How this particular feat of extremely chaotic magic did not shatter the natural law of things, was a question that still haunted Twilight to this day.

No more missions went bad. That was too good. But that also meant they had to repeat the mission from the start, another full six hours.

All of this to let Rainbow go and try to accumulate enough objects for her sword, again.

“I think this has been an exciting mission, what do you say Rarity?” said Twilight, starting to walk towards the station.

“Indeed, Dearie, I also think I have learned something about friendship today,” answered Rarity, following her friend and leaving the pegasus behind.

“...Groan.”