Harmonic Reverberations of the Heart

by UnamusedWaffle

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Princess Celestia, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 62894

A companion is meant to be there for somepony. To be the driving force in their life, to be the reason to keep going. I always thought I'd never find that pony for myself, until now.

Revered by their populace, the four immortal Alicorns have ruled Equestria with benevolence and kindness for five centuries, curating a meticulous balance that must not be disturbed. The Two-One system has survived everything that was thrown at it, and anything that threatens to disrupt that balance should be crushed at all costs.

Right?

DISCLAIMER: Sex tag ONLY for innuendo and jokes! Only a minor AU, VERY LITTLE has been changed from canon!
WARNING: Contains A LOT of profanity because I can't help myself
Fantastic cover art provided by Hoodwinked MCShelster on DeviantArt!
Proofread and edited by DarthBall, newbie, T0ucan, and Pen Dragon
Additional help provided by various members of the Changing Expectations discord server

The Ever Expanding List of Inspirations:
Anzel's Memoirs of a Royal Guard and Secrets of a Royal Guard
Bpkyle777's Past, Present, and Future
ChroniclerOfFantasies's King of Queens
Crensler's To Know Hell and Finding Artemis
DanishDash's At Your Service
Darkwing Dust's Crystal Soul
dj_neon_lights' A DJ in the Night
Hilord17's The Anomaly in a Mare’s World
Hiver's New Beginnings and all of its sequels
Ice Star's All That Lingers
Irrespective's The Harem Noses, No Nose Knows, and This Nose Knows
KKSlider's Changing Expectations
Kotushk Fier's Nocturnality and With a Shine in His Eyes
Krystl_Fae’s The Son of Infinity
kudzuhaiku's The Sun Also Surprises and The Perilous Romance of Swans
Lightning Ace's The Humble Prince
MisterEdd's Shattering a Heart of Darkness
Pen Dragon's Gems I: The Sun Princess and its sequel
PinkiePieFox's Shimmering Night
RadBunny's Timeless and A Brush With Fate
Scibe of the Nightwings' Interruption and Intervention and Admiration and Admission
SilverWind102's The New Guy
Tallfry's One Bolt, Many Questions
ThatWritingDragon's A Dusk’s New Dawn
The Boss's Coming out of it...
TheEighthDayofNight's The Centurion Project
Thule117's Guardian
Urimas Ebonheart's Warframe: Equestria
wishcometrue's With the Thought of Us
Zoshe's Return of the Ancient Mage

First Featured: 5/3/22
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And again on 11/5/22:
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And AGAIN on 1/18/23:
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Published 2022-01-13 02:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-01-18 06:03:21 UTC

Chapter 3: This is Becoming Way Too Frequent

Light.

There’re small amounts of light filtering in through my eyelashes. An almost blood-like smell of metal washes over me and I lick my lips in a desperate attempt to wet them. I sigh and close my eyes again.

I’m waking up from something again. This is becoming troublingly frequent. It’s been like, what, three times in the past two days or something? One day? I don’t even remember!

Taking a deep breath, I slowly pry open my crusty eyelids, ignoring the slight ache in the back of my head.

The world around me starts to come into focus and I look down to see the concrete floor a hoof away from me.

Operating table? That can’t be right. I was running through the forest, got attacked, and then…

My eyes widen.

I was captured by the Crown!

I instantly shoot my head up in a panic and more seriously start to take in my surroundings.

Claustrophobic concrete walls and imposing floor-to-ceiling iron bars fill my vision.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fu-

“Woah, easy there! Relax! Otherwise, you’ll undo the bandages.” A stern voice scolds me. I twist my neck to the right and my scrutinizing gaze meets that of an older earth pony mare. She wears a simple nurse cap that compliments her jet-black mane and muted lime green coat but the much more interesting thing about her is a small golden bracelet on the end of her left front hoof.

I squint my eyes.

“It projects a shield spell in case you try anything, bucko, so I suggest you stay still. The Princesses will send for you soon,” she spits at me. My muscles start to tense and I squeeze my head before I take a deep breath.

I can’t imagine her own feelings at having to take care of a criminal.

A perceivedcriminal, actually.

I shake my head as I get my front hooves under me and-OW! I hiss in pain and collapse back down onto the table. I look down and see both my front hooves covered in bandages.

Ow fuck, forgot about that. Whoops.

I try to adjust my wings but a sharp pain and some sort of invisible barrier stop me. My left wing feels just fine, but looking back at my right wing, I see it wrapped entirely in bandages.

Oh great, they bound it. Fucking timberwolf.

A snort drags my attention back over to the nurse beside me.

Really?

She just shakes her head and mutters something under her breath before going back to analyzing the floor.

I simply smile, roll my eyes, and slowly rest my head back on my hooves.

What the fuck even happened back there?

One second I’m trying to do my job, then the wedding gets fucked, I get transported to Luna knows where and talk to Princess Twilight. Then I wake up in the middle of town like I just flew in from Las Pegasus, the priests fuck with me, the militia chases me, a Timberwolf fucks me up and now I’m here.

I chuckle to myself and mutter “Holy shit…”

My life’s a fucking movie bro.

Where do I even go from here? I don’t have an attorney, assuming they’d even grant me a trial. But then what the fuck would I argue? Yes, your Honor, I am innocent. Please believe me despite my several long periods of unconsciousness.

The more and more I mull it over, piecing together everything that happened to me and everything that might happen to me, I feel my stomach sink and small beads of sweat start accumulating in my mane.

I’m fucked! Completely and utterly fucked!

I don’t even-

My hurricane comes to an abrupt pause as I hear distant hoofsteps echoing down the hall. I turn my gaze towards the edge of my cell, barely taking note of the two guards on either side straightening their backs and legs.

Somepony’s coming.

Wow, great observation there, fucko. A Princess? Doubt it. A jacked alpha male in a black cloth mask wielding a bloody ax? Ha, maybe. Warden? Probably.

But I am only left to let my jaw hang open and raise my eyebrows at the sight of a certain pony coming into my view. Adorned in her gold-plated helmet, chest piece, and leg guards, Princess Cadence steps in front of my cell. Silver linings and accents litter her armor pieces, with the most prominent part of it being a miniature crystal heart in the center of her chest. Her chest piece covers up her cutie mark, but I know what it is.

Everypony does.

Amazingly, despite being in probably the most depressing place on this fucking planet, Princess Cadence still seems to brighten the room. Her smooth and muted gold, dark pink, and vibrant purple mane seems unable to decide whether or not it wants to pride itself in some nonexistent breeze. Her almost violently pink coat looks weirdly shiny and reflective in this dark and damp hole, but my breath hitches when she turns to face me and I look up to meet her gaze.

I utterly fail to stop myself from staring into her eyes. Those deep, flowing, vibrant eyes meet my gaze with…a furrowed brow and straight lips, and I flatten my ears. My heart starts to beat a bit faster and I can feel a heat rising to my face.

Oh, fuck off! No! This is not happening! Control yourself you stupid fucking foal, you’re not a damn school filly!

I shake my head slightly while taking a breath.

I attempt to regard the Goddess standing in front of me, but something stops me.

What the fuck do I even s-

“Princess.” I dip my head slightly.

“Stand up and follow me.”

Holy shit, okay, I’m fucking dead! Kill me now!

Before I even know what I am doing, my legs extend on their own. I feel a pang when my legs extend to their full length but I somehow doubt she really cares right now.

With a light grunt, I slowly lower my back legs first off the small table and lower my front hooves onto the ground. If looks could kill, I think the entire planet would’ve been incinerated several times over in the amount of time it took for me to get myself on the ground.

A small breath escapes my lips as I put weight on my front hooves. With one eye half-closed and teeth slightly clenched, I look back up at the Princess. When she simply stares at me for half a second, I sigh and start to limp over to her.

As I approach the door of my cell, Princess Cadence nods at the guard to my left. With a jangling of keys and frantic hooves, my cell door slides open with a CLANG and I hesitantly step out into the hallway.

Princess Cadence then turns back towards the way she came as I limp up next to her. To my utter bewilderment, she matches my pace and walks side by side with me?

What?!

First, you’re all cold and shit and now you’re in step with me? What the fuck, make up your mind!

She’s probably just as unsure around me as everypony else. I did try to overthrow her…

Wait, no I fucking didn’t! That’s just what the priests and everypony else thinks. So what the fuck!

My eyes shift ever so slightly to the right and I catch a glimpse of Princess Cadence analyzing me, her eyes darting around, probably trying to make sense of the mess she’s looking at. I turn my head to meet her gaze.

“Sup,” I say, chuckling nervously. She simply turns her head to look where she’s going.

“Nope? Alright then.” I say.

So we’re playing it that way? Alright, I’ll play this shit.

I think this has been one of the most painful silences I’ve ever endured. Finally, after almost 15 fucking minutes of nonsense turns and misdirection, Princess Cadence stops at a peculiar looking door. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was doing it on purpose to confuse me. Always good to keep your enemies as ignorant as possible.

Oh right, guess I technically am her enemy. At least that’s what she thinks.

In stark contrast to the thick gray wooden doors that lined every hallway of this maze, the door in front of me looks more like it’s meant for a maximum-security prison than…wherever I am.

Actually, now that I think about it, that probably is where I am.

Princess Cadence faces me on the other side of the door and looks at me expectantly. Pursing my lips and sighing through my nose, I open the door with my left wing.

Now, as funny as it would be to say that I walk into a small, damp room with concrete walls, a metal chair and table, and a single lightbulb above it all, that is not what happens. Instead, what I walk into is a well-lit concrete room with a white elevated platform in the middle of it.

But what I actually pay attention to are the streams of…something floating around in the air. They’re very faint and I have to squeeze my head and my eyes just to faintly see them, but they’re there.

Oh wait, those are magic streams! Like the ones I saw in that weird-ass dream, I had before waking up in the middle of town! The ones that Princess Twilight told me to trust her on while not explaining anything.

Speaking of, there she is off to my left looking exactly as I remember her except with a neutral expression on her face.

No smile? What, does she not remember me? That was her who helped me ascend or whatever, right?

Right?

Better test it.

“Please proceed onto the platform so we may begin.” Princess Twilight states.

Hooh boy seems like that conductor from earlier took an off day.

“Still not explaining anything, Princess?” I ask as jovially as I can while limping toward the elevated platform. I look back briefly to be met with a cocked eyebrow.

Guess she doesn’t remember.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.” She asks, slightly weary.

Yeah, I wouldn’t believe me either.

“You were there, no?” I say as I climb up onto the platform. I grunt lightly when I pull myself up. “Y-you were the one who told me to just trust you and then-”

“Wait one second,” she cuts me off. “I was getting there, but please save your explanation for the…hearing, it sounds important.”

“Sorry,” I say quickly, smiling nervously and letting my eyes wander for a second. I catch Princess Cadence standing off to the side in the back of the room.

She’s just standing there, menacingly!

Before I can smile at my own joke, Princess Twilight’s voice rips me from my thoughts.

“Alright, Mezzo Harmonic, let’s begin. You are here to be subjected to a lie detector test and to be questioned as to how you came to be an alicorn,” she says.

I nod.

“As I have already put the spell in place, let me know when you’re ready and we can begin,” she finishes with a smile.

I nod, sit down, and take a deep breath.

“I’m ready,” I tell her. But when I look up I see Princess Twilight leaning her ear down to listen to Princess Cadence’s whispers. When Princess Cadence finishes, Princess Twilight nods and abandons her smile in favor of the neutral expression I saw her with earlier.

Damn, Princess Cadence, you really got to do that to me?

“What did you say, Mr. Harmonic?” Princess Twilight asks in a tone that makes me shrink a little. With an unsure look, I respond.

“Uhh, I said I’m ready now.”

Princess Twilight nods and lights her horn. I stare on in wonder as I see the magical streams in the air as a result of her teleporting a clipboard.

Ay yo, this shit’s awesome!

Princess Twilight clears her throat and my gaze snaps back to her. As she looks back down at her clipboard, I swear I catch something that she quickly tries to hide. Was that a smirk?

“Age?”

“24,” I state. The platform below me radiates a bright green glow as I look down in wonder.

“Cutie mark?”

“Tuning fork with a sapphire on it and a USB cable attached at the handle.” Princess Twilight nods.

“That was just to test the spell. Now let’s get to the real questions,” She says with an anticipation that gives me pause.

Oh great, here we go.

“Any affiliation with Bright Star?”

“Nope,” I say, shaking my head.

Green.

“Any affiliation with Mr. Toonshiner?”

Who the fuck…?

“Uh no.”

Green.

“Any affiliation with the Vanhoover Mafia?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

Green.

“Do you have any ill intent towards Equestria or the Crown in any way?”

“Uh not at all,” I reply, grinning slightly.

Green.

After a moment of silence, Princess Twilight inhales while nodding at her clipboard.

“Alright, Mezzo, I have one last question for you. Describe your ascension to me.”

I take a moment to analyze the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting.

What does she mean by “describe my ascension”? Is that what really happened? I guess so. Does she mean like describe the day leading up to it, or what I was doing when it happened or does she mean…

“What exactly do you mean, Princess?” I ask.

“I mean tell us exactly what happened. What were you doing when you ascended?”

“Well, I was performing at a wedding for a couple when this huge, I don’t know, force? A huge force just impacted my chest, the entire venue, actually, and sent things flying and ponies sliding across the floor. As you can imagine, that stopped us from playing the last song of the night. I then got everypony in attendance to continue the song via a-acapella and then I…”

Ah fuck, this is where they think I’m crazy. Right, eye contact.

Bringing my gaze up from the floor, I see both Princess Cadence and Princess Twilight looking wearily at me. I sigh.

“I don’t exactly know what happened. There was a fire in my chest or something and then a flash of light. Where I ended up, I don’t think I’ll ever know. But what I do know is that you were there Princess Twilight, which is why I asked you earlier.”

I watch with cautious optimism as Princess Cadence’s eyebrows slowly raise and Princess Twilight’s smile expands more and more. But as I continue on with my explanation, their expressions change again. By the time I get to the part where I blacked out again, they look more…nervous? Unsure? Princess Cadence has her eyebrows narrowed and Princess Twilight’s eyebrow looks like it’s trying to escape her face.

“When I came to, I was lying in the middle of town with a circle of scorch marks all around me. That’s when the priests and militia came, and I’m sure you know the rest.”

Princess Twilight brings a hoof up to her chin while Princess Cadence and I watch her. After a pregnant pause, she nods.

“I will have to go over this with my advisors and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, but for right now, there is one more thing we have to do before I can completely believe you,” She says, smiling while lighting her horn.

Something magical? Oh!

“Magical scans?” I ask. She nods before a purple light emits from her horn and slithers across my body. A small shiver permeates down my spine when the light hits the base of my horn.

Oh, what the fuck, that feels really weird.

When her scan is complete, she turns to Princess Cadence and nods, smiling. Princess Cadence then repeats the same process and has to suffer through her jaw dropping.

Ha, unfortunate.

Princess Twilight and I quietly chuckle at her expression for a few moments before she lightly shakes her head.

“I’m sorry for acting the way I did, Mezzo. I just had to be sure first.” I grin.

“No worries, Princess, completely understandable. Just…could you please help me down?”

Author's Note

Constructive feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

EDIT: Made a few small changes, including the italicization of Mezzo's thought. I hope it makes more sense now.

Chapter 4: New and Old Burdens

“Listen! Those crazy NetMeTube videos are a bad influence on you. I can’t have that in this household, do you understand me?”

I sigh as I put my family picture back into the cardboard box, careful not to scratch the glass.

Dammit, Mom, I love you, but sometimes you’re surprisingly stupid.

Pausing from my search through the boxes, I bring my phone up to me with my left wing as it vibrates.

And vibrates again.

And again.

Alright, I get it!

Yawning, I tap the screen and go into my text threads to find fifty messages from Mom and Dad.

Irony.

“Yes..guys..I..am..fine..I’ll..explain..everything..later,” I mutter to myself.

Wait…

“Assuming..I’ll..be..allowed..to.”

Sent. I know they won’t live with that answer for now but that’ll at least quell some of their worries.

Returning to my rummaging, my eyes widen for a second as my wing brushes up against something smooth and almost velvety. With a small amount of anxiety, I pull the small black case out of the box and undo the zipper.

Flipping the case open, I sigh in relief at the undamaged screen of my NX.

Thank Cadence the guards didn’t damage too much of my shit in transport. Heh, how weird is it gonna be if I use one of their names in vain around them?

“Sir?” A muffled voice comes with a knock at my door.

Well, let’s go find out, shall we?

Silently trotting over and careful to avoid the corner of the bed frame, I open the thick wooden door to reveal an orange stallion with a light brown stylized mane clad in a sleek black suit, white undershirt, and an earpiece with a visible wire. No black sunglasses though, weird.

“The Princesses called for you. Right this way, sir.” He says, turning around without missing a beat. In an attempt to stay on his beat, I immediately follow after him, quickly winging the door closed behind me.

With every step, I clench my teeth.

With every step, my eyebrows narrow and a small sheen of sweat starts to coalesce on my mane.

Oh goody, how I love being in pain.

Thankfully, the security guard in front of me doesn’t notice as I continue to waddle behind him.

Scanning my eyes around the Palace, I am mesmerized by the architecture around me.

How did I miss this before?

My eyes drink in the swirls of color that call this Palace their home. Whites, golds, and silvers gradually give way to dark blues, vibrant violets, and awe-inspiring oranges that eventually end in the signature white, black, purple, and pink.

And yet I can’t help but scowl.

What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I’ve done nothing good with my life! I’m just a fucking incel piece of shit who’d rather sit in his fucking room all day!

Sighing to myself, I shake my head lightly and focus myself back on the member of security in front of me.

Just a moment of weakness.

Actually, that reminds me, why was Princess Cadence being such a dick to me earlier? Obviously, she didn’t know I was actually an alicorn or something but why would that even be in question in the first place? Just another question to add to the list.

As we round a corner, I spy a huge set of colorful wooden doors halfway down the hall to the left.

Throne room doors, I assume? Cool, no misdirection this time. Thanks, Princesses.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to quell the butterflies in my stomach I nervously glance at the security staff member after he knocks on the large doors and steps to the side.

He nods at me, whispering: “You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” I mutter back and with one final nervous glance, I walk up to the door with a hoof raised and…watch as it is slowly pulled open in front of me.

“Now announcing Mezzo Harmonic.”

Holy fucking shit, thank fuck I hesitated. I got very lucky there.

Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I weave around the partially open door and find myself taken aback by the room I now find myself in.

The same swirling colors utterly cover the small expanse of the throne room and a slightly imposing golden chandelier hangs high from the ceiling. Turning my gaze slightly, several near floor-to-ceiling windows off to the right almost catch my eye.

Gotta get a good look at those later.

Directly in front of me currently sits Princess Celestia, one of Equestria’s current reigning tetrarchs. I can’t help but notice a vacant throne next to her.

“Who is-it’s you! Princess, why in Equestria do we not have him in chains?!” A shrill voice rips me from my thoughts as I turn my gaze a couple of inches below Princess Celestia.

Uhhhh…

I see a mare with a similar coat to Princess Celestia and a blonde mane standing there wearing a familiar black suit, barely visible white undershirt, and one of the most furious scowls I’d ever seen while pointing an accusing hoof at me.

Princess Celestia adopts a more neutral expression before saying: “That’s enough, Snow Frost, we’ll discuss this more later.”

“But Princess, he’s a danger to this country, a false god! The churches are alrea-”

“Secretary Frost,” Princess Celestia states firmly while rising from her throne and flaring her wings.

She huffs, puffs her chest out slightly, and storms out of the throne room. Two security personnel turn to follow her as she exits. I turn back to the Princess with a nervous grin.

“Sorry, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

Her smile makes my shoulders drop slightly.

“Of course not. I was the one who sent for you, after all," she says, folding her wings back in.

Oh.

“True,” I tell her.

“I assume you already know who I am?” she asks.

I nod, “Don’t think there’s a soul on this planet who doesn’t,” I say, grinning slightly.

“Good, then we can skip introductions. Now, please follow me, there’s somepony who I’d like you to meet,” she says, walking down her throne and to her left.

“A-at least you give me more information than Princess Twilight,” I comment, still grinning and slowly making my way to follow her.

“Right, she did explain the situation to me. Don’t worry, we will answer all of your questions,” she responds while smiling warmly and standing next to a tall door.

“Sick and cool,” I say semi-sarcastically as I then become painfully aware of how slow I’m walking.

“Sorry, I’d walk faster but, ya know…” I grin sheepishly while trailing off. Princess Celestia’s mouth opens a little in surprise.

“Have we still not given you better treatment?”

I give a pained chuckle. “Nope, was I supposed to?”

“Yes, three hours ago, as a matter of fact, somepony was supposed to escort you down,” she sighs and for a split second, I see…something in her expression, but I can’t quite put my hoof on it. She seems…sluggish almost.

Why?

“I’m sorry, Mezzo. We’ll get through this meeting as quickly as we can and then we’ll have somepony help you down to the Royal Hospital.”

I nod, but I can’t help but feel a little distraught at her pained expression.

Ha! She’s probably showing it more than I am.

“Thank you, Princess. And don’t worry, I’ll be fine until then, I can handle a little pain,” I tell her, smiling as best I can.

My small grunt of pain immediately afterward does nothing to help my case.

As the Princess schools her frown into expressionlessness, a swirl of magic engulfs the doorknob, forcing the door open.

“Thank you,” I say quietly as I shuffle through the doorway…into the wide-eyed gaze of Princess Luna.

I need to get off my hooves immediately.

“So it’s true,” she whispers with a near gaping mouth. I spy an open cushion next to Princess Cadence and nearly limp my way over to it.

“This is indeed unprecedented, but Cadence and Twilight’s investigation was conclusive, he is the first male alicorn in recorded history,” Princess Celestia says.

I sit down across from Princess Luna and sigh in relief.

“Really? You’re joking. I can’t seriously be the only one,” I say incredulously.

Princess Celestia takes the opportunity to sit down next to her sister.

“I am not joking, my little pony. Although soon you will not be so little, and that is what we are here to discuss now,” she says.

My eyes widen. “Oh wait, no, am I-I going to become a Prince now? I’m really not ready for that, believe me.”

Her smile allows my shoulders to relax.

“Don’t worry, Mezzo. You do not currently hold any political power, nor will you until we all agree that you’re ready,” Princess Celestia tells me.

Understandable. Saves me from worrying, at least.

“Although, some ponies will still likely look up to you as a Prince, and others still will look upon you as an affront to the status quo,” Princess Luna interjects.

I sigh.

“But you don’t need to worry, you will have the four of us and our advisors to help you through this.”

Four of the smartest ponies on the planet helping me along the way, that sounds reassuring.

So why am I still nervous?

“That’s reassuring,” I say, looking around the table at each of them. “Four of the wisest ponies on the planet helping me should make things easier,” I say while ending it with a light chuckle.

Ha, yeah, like I’d actually bother them from their important work.

Princess Twilight nods from the far end of the table.

“Exactly, but in the interest of making sure you have somepony at all times, Cadence will be watching over you for the foreseeable future, answering your questions and helping you get acclimated to life as an alicorn in the castle,” she says.

I narrow my eyebrows slightly.

“‘Watching over me?'” I repeat. “As in, like, my fairy godmother or something?”

“Only if you want to think of me that way,” Princess Cadence speaks up, smiling.

“And most importantly,” Princess Luna says. “Cadence will be making sure you don’t abuse your new position. As I said before, some ponies will start looking up to you whether you like it or not, and as such you will have more influence than you’re used to.”

Oh fuck me, now I have to watch what I say or something.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Princess. I wouldn’t even know where to begin manipulating ponies or something.”

Princess Luna nods, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

She probably has every expectation Princess Cadence will keep me in line. Let’s go, she’ll do the thinking for me!

Wait, she’s still on break, right? What the fuck?

“Wait, don’t you still have a year or two left on your century-long break? I can’t ask you to give that up,” I say, concern lacing my voice.

They only get that every four or five centuries when they rotate out!

“Well, we can’t promise that any or all of us will be available for you to contact at any given time, so this is what we came up with. Besides, I volunteered,” Princess Cadence says while smiling at me.

What? Why me? What’s so important ab-Oh right, Princess Celestia said why at the beginning.

“Do those terms sound acceptable to you, Mezzo?” Princess Celestia asks, drawing my attention back toward her.

So now I’ll have somepony breathing down my shoulder who I’ll feel bad about for taking up their vacation time.

Great.

But they do seem very accommodating, so if I do speak up they might actually listen to me. And Princess Cadence did volunteer, so getting that to change seems more than a little manipulative.

“How much ‘watching over’ are you going to do, Princess?” I ask.

Princess Cadence chuckles and smiles, “First off, you don’t have to refer to me as ‘Princess’ for the time being. Going off of how Twilight and I were when we first ascended, we’re probably going to be spending a lot of time together, and keeping formalities seems pointless.”

I nod hesitantly.

Damn, alright then, that was fast.

“And while we’re at it, you may as well cut titles with the rest of us. We’re all alicorns here,” Princess Luna speaks up, nodding once.

My jaw drops and I raise my eyebrows when Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight nod along with her.

I mean, true, but…what?! Clearly, I’m missing something because I was not expecting that!

“Uh, you sure?” I ask incredulously and Princess Cadence just giggles.

“Yep!”

Pfffffft okay then, I guess?

Whaaaaat?

“Pffft, alright then,” I say, chuckling as I throw a hoof up in defeat.

“Second,” Princ-er, Cadence continues. “I’m not going to be controlling your life, Mezzo. You are still your own pony, I’m just going to be your first point of contact for any questions you may have.”

Alright, that sounds okay. But that’s probably because I just haven’t thought about it enough yet. Oh well.

“Alright, that sounds reasonable.”

“But since we’re here, we do need to address some things about alicorns that you should know going forward,” Pr-er, Celestia says, and I nod back at her.

“First off, as an alicorn now, you are immortal. That means the normal aging process does not apply to you and as such you will live for a long time, likely millennia, but we do not know for certain.”

So I am immortal…fuck.

I catch Celestia’s mouth opening once again just as I start to speak.

“So, I-I’m going to outlive my family? My siblings? All my friends and everypony I’ve ever loved?” I say in a low voice.

When Celestia visibly cringes, Twilight speaks up, “Unfortunately, yes, Mezzo, but you won’t have to worry about that for a long time. Take the time to spend time with those ponies now.”

“Am I even allowed to leave the castle right now to do that?” I ask, my voice void of any discernible tone. I almost smirk when Twilight also cringes.

“We’re working on that. We should have a plan for the announcement of your ascension within the coming weeks but for now, we’re going to have to ask that you stay within the castle premises as we don’t want you to be crowded and shunned again like back in the western settlement. I’m sorry, but it’s for the best,” she says, looking at me apologetically.

I just sigh.

Damn, way to pull a complete 180 almost instantly. She probably rehearsed those lines about ‘spending time with the ponies I love now’ and didn’t give it a second thought. Maybe something Celestia or Luna told her at one point?

Anyway, obviously, they want to prevent a mass panic, so they can’t have me running around. I imagine I couldn’t leave even if I tried, the security system here is likely way too much for my feeble mind to get around. Fuck.

“I hate how much sense that makes, so I won’t argue with you.”

Everypony’s gonna be pissed that I can’t tell them, but it’s not even my fault! And now I have to leave Mom and Dad with that shitty ass text for the next few weeks! Am I gonna have to make it up to them somehow? I have no idea how I’d even do that. I can do apologies, but…

“Why, don’t look so down, my musical friend! You’re a part of the exclusive immortals club now! Now with free drinks for club members only.” A playful voice makes itself known from…above me? To my right? I can’t quite tell.

After witnessing a collective eye roll from every other pony in the room, a flash of light directly in front of me sends me sprawling back onto the floor with a hearty THUD.

“Holy FUCK!” I shout to the heavens with no remorse.

Fuck that! What the fuck?!

Ignoring the pounding of my heart and rush of adrenaline, I look up to yell at my assailant, but my swears die in my throat. I just lay there, gaping, at perhaps the most…I don’t even…wha…what the fuck am I even looking at?

“Uhhh,” I sputter out like a dumb idiot.

“Cat got your tongue, kiddo?” The creature says down at me, grinning madly. What was his name again…?

I swear, I can feel the smoke pouring out of my ears right now.

Oh right!

“Ya know, the d-description my history teacher gave of you in high school did not do you justice,” I manage to sputter out in between short bursts of laughter.

“Ooooh my, he’s a fun one isn’t he?” Discord says while backing away to casually float above the table.

Still just lying there on my back, I start chuckling.

My life really is a movie, what the fuck is happening?

“Discord, please stop harassing our guest, he’s been through a lot these past few days,” Twilight tells him with a smile.

“Oh, come on, Twily, I just had to welcome our new member! Besides, what kind of club leader would I be if I didn’t? I should get to know the new member that’ll be spending the next several millennia with us, should I not?”

Thanks for the reminder, fucko.

“Yeah, fuck you too, Discord.” Discord’s eyebrows just raise in response.

“Hooo, we might have to do something about that habit of yours. Wouldn’t you agree, girls?” He says, turning to each of the four Princesses while snapping his fingers.

After momentarily losing feeling in my jaw, I feel it slightly strain itself against something new in my mouth. Something slippery, basic, and oddly lavender. I quickly turn my head without thinking to spit out the light pink bar of soap in my mouth, but my eyes widen in absolute fucking horror at where I spit it out.

“Mezzo! Watch where you spit!” Princess Cadence nearly yells while I duck out of the way of her extended wing.

“Oh ffff-sorry! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to do that I wasn’t thinking!”

Uhhh, what should I-paper towels? I don’t know where any are! It’d take way too long to-

My raging storm is thankfully cut short by a flash of light and raging laughter. Glancing back towards Discord, I catch Pri-er Cadence’s wing looking clean.

Oh THANK FUCK!

“Oh, thank Celestia,” I mutter breathlessly while sitting up again.

Oh shit, hopefully nopony heard that.

“Discord, please, enough,” Twilight says firmly, cutting off Discord’s laughter solely at my expense.

“Oh, come on, Tw-” But he’s cut off again by her lilac gaze piercing his soul.

Sweet mother of Luna, that even sent a chill down my spine!

Discord sighs and floats over to her with his folded ears and a pouty lip. But after he forces a small stool and dunce cap to appear before him, Twilight then leans over and whispers something in his ear.

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that shade of red appear so quickly before on anypony—nay—anycreature!

Looking up at Cadence, I see the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her face grow as she watches Twilight and Discord. Now that I look around, both Celestia and Luna are also sharing that distinction.

“Ahem, yes, well, it seems like I have a few errands to run now. Somehow completely slipped my mi-don’t look at me like that!” He shouts while pointing a claw at Cadence.

“I’m going to go talk to Spike! A fellow male will surely be better company than you four!” Once all four of the Princesses start laughing, he takes that as his cue to snap his fingers and disappear from sight.

I give a breath of relief, let my head fall onto the table, and a pang rockets through my forehead.

Ow, forgot that fucking magic rod was there.

“Well, that happened,” I say into the silent room.

“Sorry about that, Mezzo, usually he’s better behaved than that. I guess he was just excited to have somepony new,” I hear Twilight say.

I hum in response, “Well, I-I’m sure I would’ve played along more if I wasn’t, ya know, injured and exhausted. Who’s Spike?”

“Spike is my surrogate brother, I helped him hatch about five centuries ago.”

I nod in understanding, my snout scrunching up against the wood of the table.

Oh right, that guy! Completely forgot he existed, heh. Crazy.

“He’s been helping Dragonlord Ember run the Dragonlands for the past century or two.”

I know Twilight, I know.

“Alright, what else do we have to go over?” I say into the table before finally bringing my head back up.

“Right,” Luna starts, and I try my best to maintain eye contact with her. “We’ll go through this as quickly as we can. Based on what you told Twilight during your interview,”

Interrogation, more like.

“We believe there may have been a problem with your ascension, for whatever reason. None of us ever experienced any pain during our ascensions and when Cadence first started using magic after her ascension, she did not, in fact, explode.”

Lucky. Wait, ‘first started using magic’?

“You were a pegasus, too?” I ask her with as much emotion as I can muster in my voice. She simply nods.

“Yep! Part of the reason I volunteered.”

I nod.

That’s…thoughtful.

“Thanks, Cadence.”

“Of course!” She says.

I turn back to Luna, a small smile now adorning my face.

“So we will try our best to work with you and figure out why. Cadence should be speaking to you about that soon.”

I nod.

“Second, about who you saw during your ascension,” Luna continues quickly.

Thank Lu-her, I just wanna go to bed for the day.

I hum in acknowledgment.

“What you saw wasn’t really Twilight. We are not sure how, or why, but whenever somepony ascends, always the alicorn closest to that pony, whether that be in relationship, domain, or otherwise, will guide them through the process, but the guide themselves will not retain memories of this.” As Luna finishes, she turns to Celestia and nods.

“Right,” Celestia starts. “When Twilight ascended, she claimed that I appeared there with her to help her ascend.”

“And I was really confused when Celestia claimed she had no memory of such a thing ever happening, even though she knew to show up right after I ascended in, what is now, Everfree City,” Twilight continues for her.

I cock an eyebrow.

What? How?

“The only reason I knew where to be and when was the result of a vision I had the night before,” Celestia finishes and I nod.

Huh, crazy.

“Alright, what next?” I ask.

“The final thing on our agenda is just to quickly mention the Churchs’ roles in all of this,” Luna says.

I immediately sit up.

Oh great, what now?

“Now now, there’s nothing to concern yourself with for the time being. We are simply giving you a heads-up.”

I nod.

“While the Church leaders will always do whatever we tell them to do, almost frighteningly so, there are those within each group that may wish to hurt you. You are the first shakeup to the status quo in centuries, and I can only imagine that there will be as many creatures who will deny change as those who will embrace it.”

So I’m gonna be assassinated? Publicly slandered? What?

“While we will obviously be here to protect you from the backlash that will surely follow this, we also feel the need to simply warn you that it is coming.” I sigh and nod again.

Fuck this.

“I’m sorry, is there anything else or are we done now?” I ask.

Luna smiles, “No, we are done with the most important bits for now. Cadence should fill you in on more details later but for now, you may go. I need to rush back to the Crystal Empire, anyways. I usually can’t be gone from that place for very long without some sort of problem arising.”

Oh right, she’s over there for this cycle.

I nod and let out a breath through my nose as I move to stand up again, putting my weight back on my front hooves. I make it about three steps before I turn back to them.

I go to open my mouth but…something makes me hesitate. A wave of deja-vu washes over me as I take in their expressions. Their wings are drooping slightly against their sides. I can faintly make out bags under their eyes that are expertly covered up by layers of makeup.

I’ve seen this before. This is what I saw in Celestia’s face earlier.

“What is it, Mezzo?” Cadence asks me, smiling.

“Oh, uh, which way to medical?”

“One of the guards outside the door will escort you.”

I nod back and turn around again. My eyelids droop slightly and my hooves feel the heaviest they’re ever been in months, but I can’t help my mind from racing a little.

Are they okay?

They all look so tired.

Author's Note

Sorry this took a bit longer than usual, Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel and Pokemon: Legends Arceus were both released while I was writing this, whoops.

Anyway, as always:

Constructive feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

EDIT: Minor changes + italicizing Mezzo's thoughts. Hopefully it's clearer now

Chapter 5: I Can't What?!

How am I ever going to get through this? The entire country-no. The entire world is going to know I exist!

I feel small beads of sweat start to accumulate on my hairline and a sinking feeling in my stomach.

Sure, I have the Princesses, but I’m normally too much of a fucking coward to even attempt to go out of my comfort zone! Holy fuck, am I a stupid fucking-

“Mezzo? Is something wrong?” A melodic voice makes itself known to my right, ripping me out of my tornado. I turn my head to meet the gaze of Pri-er Cadence walking alongside me.

“No, I’m good,” I tell her, grinning slightly.

Liar.

I shake my head. If I didn't know any better I'd say that she saw that, and that's why her brow furrowed slightly.

“What are we doing after breakfast?” I ask while bringing a sore hoof up to rub my eyes.

“I’m supposed to give you a tour of the castle. But for right now, I need to address whatever details we didn’t get around to yesterday.”

And I still have some questions about the other day.

“Alright,” I say, nodding.

“As alicorns, not only are we immortal, but we also can’t reproduce.”

“Wait, what?” I ask incredulously, my mouth slightly agape.

Wha-wha-why?! You can’t just start my morning off like that!

“I know, I couldn’t believe it either,” Cadence says, her gaze lowering to the floor for half a second before she pulls herself back up.

Huh.

“So, like, does that mean no physical intimacy whatsoever or am I just infertile?”

What the fuck is happening? I feel like I’ve been having a LOT of thoughts like that lately. Oh right, I HAVE.

“No, you can still engage in intercourse,” she starts.

I sigh a breath of relief.

“You’re just infertile. We think it’s because of the overload of magic during the initial ascension, but we don’t know for certain.”

“Well, glad to know that option’s been forcefully ripped away from me before I could even fully consider it.”

I mean, sure, it’s fine to my immature brain, but that’s just because the more I think about how awful my siblings and I were when we were young, the less I want foals. Fuck, was I an annoying prick back then!

“Yeah…” She says, trailing off.

Oh. I see.

“From the sound of it, I assume you wanted foals?” Her eyes widen slightly for a split second before she controls herself again.

“Oh, I actually didn’t when I first ascended, I was too young to understand it all.” I see her eyes glaze over while she lowers her head to stare at the floor, her hooves on autopilot.

Uh oh, big mistake.

“And then as you grew up you realized how wrong you were?” I offer before I purse my lips.

“Yeah,” she says, sighing, after pulling her gaze back towards me.

I give her an apologetic look, “Yeah, sorry, I wasn’t thinking when I asked that,” I say, letting a breath out of my nose and grinning slightly.

Thankfully, she reciprocates, “It’s alright, you were just curious.”

And now we change the subject!

“So, about yesterday,” I start. “Why did you volunteer to be my guide?”

“Truthfully, I saw myself in you.” She says, smiling more now.

Well, that’s good but also WHAT?!

Cadence chuckles.

“Yes, I did. When I first ascended and got my horn, I was scared. I had no idea what was going on or what to do until Auntie Celestia showed up. She was my guiding light through the storm.”

I nod along with her.

“Then you come along, pursued by the militia, imprisoned, questioned…”

“Interrogated,” I correct, smiling.

“Questioned,” she continues, more forcefully this time.

I can only laugh in response.

Oh, look, an opportunity.

Quickly, I pull my phone out of my satchel with a wing, pressing down on the power button.

“Sophie, define interrogation.”

“Oh, come on!”

“To interrogate is to ask questions of someone, especially a suspect or a prisoner, closely, aggressively, or formally,” A robotic voice replies. With a smug smile, I put my phone away.

“You were saying?” I ask, my tone rising.

She just shakes her head at me and smiles, “And I thought I could be to you what Auntie Celestia was to me all those years ago.” She smiles as she finishes, and I feel my heart rate start to speed up a bit.

Oh, wow. That’s…

“Thanks, Cadence. I didn’t expect anything that thoughtful.” I feel a heat start to-

Nope! Not happening! Get a fucking grip!

Shaking my head a little, I turn to look in front of me again.

Well, I imagine her cold demeanor on the walk to the interrogation didn’t help my fears in the slightest.

“Are you sure it wasn’t because you felt bad about treating me like a piece of sh-dirt?”

She smirks, “You know, I don’t mind if you swear.”

I gasp.

“Really?! Holy shit, thank fuck! Wait…”

I burst out laughing.

“And I immediately swear twice, not five seconds after…” I sputter out in between breaths, my core in miserable pain. Getting my breathing under control again, I look over to see her doing the same.

Ha! She laughed!

“Anyway, going back to what I said, why were you treating me like shit?”

“Uh…” she says nervously and I smirk.

“You’re not getting out of this.”

She brings her hoof in towards her chest, inhaling, and extends it back out as she exhales.

Oh, you most definitely can, but it’s not like you know that.

“You’re not really supposed to know, but I suppose I can be as vague as possible.”

My eyes go wide. “Ooooh, national security secret? Are you gonna have to wipe my memories if you tell me specifics?”

“Yes,” She says deathly seriously and her expression goes blank.

Uhhhh….

And she bursts out laughing. I chuckle along with her.

“Ah, I have been gotten. Crazy,” I say sarcastically as she recovers.

“The names that Twilight mentioned that other day during your questioning,”

I roll my eyes.

“...were all involved with a fake ascension attempt before, so we had to be sure.”

My jaw drops, “Wait, what?!”

“I’m sorry but that’s all I can tell you.”

“Wait, but-”

“Oh look, we’re here.”

“You like what you see?” Cadence asks me, smirking.

“Well, it has been a long time, I don’t get many opportunities,” I reply.

I’m slightly taken aback by the absolutely massive, towering rows and rows of bookshelves. The Canterlot Archives nearly takes my breath away, which is ironic since everything here is made out of trees, more so than what I’m used to.

I almost fail to take note of the librarian’s desk a meter or two in front of me as I scan my gaze across the jungle in front of me, the books all carefully and neatly organized with that decimal system I could never fully understand.

“Are you looking for anything specific?” A raspy voice makes itself known from behind a large computer monitor at the circular desk in the middle of the room.

Craning my neck, I see a small insectoid creature poking their head out. Large green beady eyes stare back at mine as the bright green changeling buzzes its orange wings for a second.

“Uh, nothing in particular. I’ll let you know, though,” I tell them, nodding. The changeling nods back.

“Just don’t break anything. Princess, if you would, please?”

“I’m all over it,” Cadence says, momentarily rushing to fall in step with me.

Without a word, Cadence and I slowly stroll down the aisles, although I suspect she’s more focused on gauging my reaction than anything.

DA…bunch of numbers…World History, DB…Griffonian History, DC…The United Alliance of Nations’ History, DD…Changeling History, DE.1…Equestrian History-Post Nightmare Moon, DE.2…Harmonious Period, blah blah blah…

I gasp.

“Spellbooks!” I whisper loudly.

I faintly hear a giggle behind me as I quietly rush into the aisle and throw my face into the words of the first eye-catching cover I see.

“I take it you’re interested in spellcasting?” Cadence asks in a low voice.

Oh, heh. Kinda lost control for a second there, whoops.

“Yeah, I-I-I’ve been curious ever since my friends started learning and then complaining about how hard it was. I’ve wanted to learn ever since.”

Oh, wait, I’m gonna have to have that whole ‘I’m an alicorn now and am going to outlive you’ conversation with them too, right?

Fun. I can ask them what they want at their fucking funerals.

“Mezzo, I think you’re forgetting something,” she says, smiling smugly at me.

Oh great, how much of a fucking idiot am I now?

OH!

“True!” I say a little too loudly. I continue after quickly darting my eyes around. “But I’d have no idea where to start.”

Cadence deadpans.

“Mezzo.”

“Yes?”

“I’m standing right in front of you.”

Oh, right, fuck, I really am just fucking stupid today, huh? Oh well, I guess I can just turn it into a joke.

“What’re you implying? Are you offering me something?” I whisper, trying to contain my laughter.

Cadence just rolls her eyes and turns towards one of the bookshelves, her almost ethereal waving mane stopping me from gauging her expression. My smirk falls.

“Yeah, sorry, I genuinely just didn’t consider that. Can you teach me spellcasting, if you find the time?”

Cadence turns her head slightly to eye me with a cocked eyebrow.

“Please?”

My shoulders drop slightly when her expression softens.

“Sure. I was going to anyway, but now I don’t have to bring it up.”

“Happy to be of service,” I say, smirking again.

She rolls her eyes again.

“Was there anything else you wanted to see here?” She asks, turning around to walk out of the aisle.

No fucking idea.

“Nah, I think I’m good here, unless you aren’t,” I respond in a low voice.

“Nope, I’m ready when you are. Besides, I can come here whenever I want,” she whispers as I follow her out of the library.

Good point.

“True. Actually, will I be allowed back here without adult supervision?” I ask sarcastically, slowly raising my voice the more we step outside of the doors.

“Yes, you can come back here whenever you like. The staff are not allowed to speak about you outside the castle right now.”

Ha! They can’t gossip! Suck it!

“Can’t imagine how many NDA’s they’re under.”

“Too many to name.”

I chuckle lightly but Cadence doesn’t join me.

Unfortunate.

“So, where to next?” I ask.

Cadence stops for a second to let her horn glow and force an aquamarine phone with pink accents to appear in front of her.

Is that a watermelon keychain? That’s so fucking adorable.

“Going off of the list Twilight gave me, our next stop is her lab,” she says.

I can’t help but cock an eyebrow, “I thought you were supposed to be handling me?”

I say that like I’m a problem. I mean, I am, but that’s not the point here.

“Yes, well, sometimes Twilight can’t help herself,” Cadence replies, a little defeated, while starting to walk down the hallway, her horn forcing her phone to disappear again.

I chuckle. “She’s a neat freak?”

“You have no idea,” she says, nearly deadpanning. I can’t help but fully laugh this time.

One of my Princess Goddesses is a neat freak, let’s fucking go!

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long, the workload for this semester has finally started to pick up and it's hitting me hard.

As always, constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Seriously!! I need constructive feedback in order to improve this! I may be writing this for my own enjoyment first, but I also don't want this to be a pile of shit. If something feels off to you, please let me know!

EDIT: Made some small changes like grammar corrections and italicization

Chapter 6: Around the World and Back Again

“Here we are,” Cadence says behind me as I shuffle in through the cramped doorway. Before I can even adjust myself to the incessant banging and whirring of the room, my eyes are assaulted.

Rows of wooden desks cover most of the expanse of the room, each accompanied by a large monitor and jet-black computer case. Bright red warning labels around the larger machines in the back right of the room reflect the heavy amounts of blue light being given off like a rowdy nightclub at 3 A.M.

Under each desk, I can make out neatly organized wraps of wires that seem to extend onto infinity. Behind some of the desks, however, I see a legion of creatures in white lab coats, not unlike the church robes some of the priests wear. Creatures ranging from ponies to changelings to griffins franticly rush around the room, weaving in and out of marked-off areas, different machines, and out of the way of each other.

I can only stand there with my mouth open, surely looking like an idiot.

That’s a laser cutter! And a 3D printer! I’ve always wanted to use one! Wait, is that one of those yellow robotic dogs that can stabilize themselves I keep seeing in the news? Ay yo!

“I take it you find this interesting?” Cadence asks from my right, grinning.

I glance at her for a split second before turning my attention back to the room in front of me.

“Understatement of the day, I’m thoroughly enthralled,” I respond, reciprocating her grin.

After scanning my gaze across the room for the third time, I can sum it all up in a single phrase.

Organized chaos.

Kinda like me, heh.

That's most creatures, dumb fuck.

Shaking my head a little, I turn to look at Cadence. “A-are you sure it’s okay if I’m in here?”

“Of course! Besides, you’re with me. I’m like an all-access pass to the castle.”

“More like to the entirety of Equestria,” I say, grinning even more like an idiot.

“You’re probably right.”

“You haven’t checked?” I ask and her brow furrows slightly.

Whoops.

“Believe it or not, I don’t go around testing to see what I can get away with,” she retorts.

“Fair point, sorry. Should’ve left that thought in the oven for a bit longer.”

Cadence just stares at me bewildered like I just grew a horn.

Oh, wait.

“Alright, then,” she says awkwardly. “Let’s go see if we can’t find Twilight in this…” She trails off, whipping her head around.

“Shitstorm?” I offer. She shrugs her wings.

“Sure,” she says, walking off into the stormy sea without a lighthouse. Following her, we’re forced to dodge around what I assume to be researchers and specialists flying across the room with small contraptions in their grasp.

A small wooden wheel in somepony’s wing here, a monstrosity of USB cables and circuit boards in some griffin’s beak there.

I let my body go on autopilot as I continue trying to follow Cadence while occasionally glancing around.

That was the wrong thing to say, wasn’t it? She responded so damn awkwardly, ugh. I know I already apologized but, what else could I do? Nothing in the short term…no, I can. Just don’t say something that stupid again and show her that I don’t want to abuse my power, I’m sure that’s what she’s worried about, kinda gave off the wrong impression there.

How? Maybe I should ask her about how I might use it more resp-

-Ohp.

Glancing just in time, I see something pink in my peripherals stop moving, causing me to do the same. Looking up, I’m greeted by a smiling Twilight gazing down at me from behind her desk.

Oh, we’re in her office now? I didn’t even notice the doorway.

Glancing around for a split second, what I see has me enraptured. Not only does she have her own personal 3D printer off in the corner which is currently in operation, but her desk has huge monitors on it, along with probably hundreds of little components; nuts, screws, and other small items, scattered across her desk as they seem to expertly dodge the monitor stands for whatever reason. A large carpet makes my hooves a little warm and the small fireplace at the far end of the office to my right ties it all up.

Overall, it’s quite spacious and cozy for an office with a bunch of mechanical parts to it.

“Hello, Mezzo! Hey, Cadence!” Twilight says cheerfully, rising from her chair and flaring her wings out. After a quick WHOOSH, I crane my head back to see Cadence doing the same.

Should I be doing that? Fuck if I know.

“Hello, Twilight.”

“Hey, Twilight!” Cadence responds, walking around the desk to quickly nuzzle Twilight. She opens her mouth to say something back to Cadence but is cut off by a loud guttural groan from…somewhere near the fireplace.

Where the fuck did that come from?

“Oh, sorry Dissy! Completely forgot you were there,” Twilight calls out to nothing while rushing over to…wait was that distortion always there?

What the fuck?

I stand there like a dumb fucking idiot as I watch a long red velvet couch fade into view. I see Discord sprawled out over the length of the couch under a worn-out baby blue knitted blanket. He rests his head on a golden armrest at the end of it on top of a small purple pillow while leaning against the back of the couch, which looks like half a heart, and Twilight rushes over to him.

“What time is it?” He croaks out while Twilight nuzzles him.

“Go back to sleep, I’m sorry for waking you, love.”

Discord hums in response and proceeds to bury his head in his covers before the couch and its sole occupant slowly fades out of view again.

Wha-what the fuck?

But I can’t ponder on it for very long as Twilight rushes back over to us. She whispers: “Let’s take this outside,” as she passes us. I nod and follow Cadence back outside the doorway and into the wide hallway.

“Was that couch always there?” I ask once we’re gathered outside.

Twilight smirks, “No, that’s his couch that fades into and out of existence at random intervals. It used to belong to an old friend of mine, but she let him repurpose it a while ago.”

I nod along with what she’s saying.

“Anyway, Twilight, I just wanted to bring Mezzo by to see what you were up to,” Cadance says.

“Oh right, you’re giving him the tour,” Twilight says, bringing a hoof up to her chin. “Well, I’d be happy to show you around!” She starts to turn around when the sound of my voice stops her.

“What do you do while you’re here?”

She smiles.

“Well, this is my Applications Lab. Here is where the culmination of each of my laboratories combines their work to create the next innovation. Like that phone in your pocket,” she says.

With minimal effort, I look down towards the faux leather strap on my chest.

“The magical signature identification system it uses to uniquely identify you? That came out of this lab right here.”

My eyes go wide and my jaw drops a little. A wave of anxiety washes over my body like a tidal wave for half a second before I remember that no, I don’t have an assignment due tomorrow.

“That was here?! That was so painful to learn about in college.”

“What’d you major in to learn about it?”

Should I do my virginity joke? Nah, I think I’ve been annoying enough today as is.

“Computer science, my professor had us recreate a semi-functional version of it in lab one time.”

“Oh really? Well, I’d love to hear more about it sometime.”

“Only if you explain to me what you’re working on.”

Ha, nerd shit.

Low muffled shouts and grunts rush into my ears as Cadence and I walk down a nondescript hallway in the castle. The sunlight streaming in from the end of it seems to make part of the floor reflect the light in an almost ethereal way.

“Well, here we are, Mezzo,” Cadence says as we reach the light at the end of the tunnel. “Our last stop, the training grounds.”

I’m momentarily blinded as I tentatively step out into the sunlight, my eyes scrunched up like a newspaper.

Ah yes, cure my vitamin D deficiency!

My eyes widen when they finally dilate. Drawing my gaze across the setting, the shouts and grunts now assault my ears in full force combined with the clash of steel, thundering hooves, and actual thundering clouds.

Over to my left, there’s the pegasi legion engaging in spars against each other. They’re a blur of movement as each soldier darts through the air like a hot knife through butter in the most violent dance I’ve ever witnessed. Occasionally, one of them raises their sword or crossbow to the sky, allowing a thundercloud to form nearly instantly and strike their weapon.

The sizzling of electricity coursing through metal is probably the coolest thing I’ve ever heard!

Imagine being able to wield magic like that! That must take an unholy amount of concentration to form the cloud that fast and still maintain focus on your opponent.

I can almost feel the mental strain from doing such a thing.

Directly in front of me, two rows of earth ponies stand firm and unmoving against each other, the only discernable movement being the occasional puff of hot air. Then, all at once, they rise up onto their hind legs and slam their hooves down into the ground. While I can see there’re visible cracks in the ground now, the much more interesting thing to point out are the fucking earthen pillars now bleeding towards the sky in a show of glory.

Some of them are sent flying, while others are knocked on their backs, and others still, dodge out of the way.

Wha-wha-when the fuck did this happen?

I barely notice myself stop moving and Cadence smirking while looking back at me.

“You okay there?” She asks.

“Wha-when the fuck? How the fuck? Since when was this a thing?!” I nearly shout.

Cadence just laughs.

“That’s a bit of a story. Auntie Luna kept insisting for a century or two that we should shore up our defense capabilities as a nation just as a precautionary measure. For a while, the rest of us disagreed before Auntie Celestia and Twilight joined her in overruling me. Within just a few months, Twilight had taken Auntie Luna’s idea and turned it into a reality.”

“She fucking made this?!”

Cadence just laughs again, “Yep! It works by imbuing unicorn spells into each weapon and combining that with their respective race’s magic. Changelings can do both of what you can see here to a lesser extent, and griffins can’t really do either, but it doesn’t hold much consequence. We’ve had no reason to use them, and we plan to keep it that way.”

I just nod along with what she’s saying.

Just what have I gotten myself into?! No, wait, just what has the universe gotten me into?! It’s not my fucking fault I’m here!

I sigh and sit down on the warm grass, holding my head in my hooves.

“This day has been very overwhelming.”

I hear soft hoofsteps slowly get louder until I hear something plop itself down next to me. Opening my eyes, I look up, meeting Cadence’s gaze.

“I can imagine, but don’t worry Mezzo, this is the last stop for the day. You’ll have as much time as you need to process all of this.”

I nod and allow myself to simply stare ahead.

At least until Celestia and Twilight decide on an announcement date.

My eyes narrow slightly as a thought suddenly comes to me.

“Do you think I’ll ever get to do something like this?” I ask, turning my attention back toward the fields of dueling ponies.

Cadence shrugs, “Maybe, who knows? If you really want to, you should ask Auntie Luna, she’s the best teacher there is.”

“Personal experience?” I ask.

Cadence sighs, smiling, “Yeah, she had both Twilight and I under her iron hooves for a long time while she was training us to defend ourselves.”

I cock an eyebrow.

“How did that work? Wouldn’t all of you have already been ruling at that point?”

Cadence nods.

“Yep, but it was her vacation century, and she spent the first decade or so of it making time for both of us to learn. While I did want to just punch her in the face some days, I’m now extremely grateful for it.”

I nod and hum in acknowledgment.

I take a deep breath and let the sound of the breeze rushing past me wash over me.

The fields had long since cleared out of any living soul, save for us.

My heart thunders in my chest as I push my body past its limits, forcing my hooves ever so slightly faster.

Holy fuck, need to run, holy fuck need to RUN!

Wind rushes past my ears and my adrenaline picks up, allowing me to ignore the lacerations I keep suffering from stray branches.

I hear a loud and drawn-out ominous howl behind me, and I imagine it would’ve sent a shiver down my spine if it wasn’t for my adrenaline. Dead leaves and branches crack and groan under the thundering of my hooves as I continue running.

Must run, must run!

“Aaugh!” I cry out as a pang in my abdomen rockets through my body. I’m sent rolling to the ground, a weight pushing itself on me all the while. The pain only worsens as something sharp rakes itself down my chest when we finally stop by slamming into a tree.

My vision starts to blur as I feel a hot liquid running down my stomach and an equally hot breath on my muzzle.

This is it, this is the end.

“Cease this at once, and begone from this realm!”

What?!

With a low whirring in my ears, I blink and find myself standing in front of Pr-er Luna, still panting.

“What the fuck?!” I cry out, exacerbated, as I frantically sit down to check my chest.

Nope, not bleeding anymore, thank fuck. Fuck off phantom pains.

“Calm down, Mezzo, it was only a dream,” she says soothingly, her voice low and reminiscent of a mother putting their foal to bed. I look around, now able to actually take in my surroundings.

“Right, dream,” I start. “That would explain why we’re currently sitting in the vast expanse of space.”

“I think the vast expanse of space would be a lot darker in real life.”

Well, you got me there.

“Fair point, Luna. Thanks for getting me out of that.”

She smiles and sits down in front of me, “No thanks necessary, I’m just doing my job.”

Ha, you can’t out-modest me!

I shrug.

“Still deserve a ‘thank you’ at least.”

She nods in response, “So, how have you been settling in since I left?” She asks.

Oh thank fuck, I had no idea what to say after that.

Let’s see…I collapsed into bed, then Cadence toured me around the castle, that’s it, mostly.

Also rampant thoughts about the ramifications of everything that’s happened to me and how I’ll never be able to live a normal life again and one day I’ll need to bury not only my parents but also my sister and brother and-

Stop.

“Pretty alright, Cadence toured me around, showed me the library and Twilight’s lab to name a few. Although I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the layout of the castle, it’s like a maze in the worst way possible,” I respond quickly.

That’s not true, I’m just being dramatic. Those kinds of things obviously just come from experience.

I catch Luna eyeing me warily for a split second before she drops it.

Of course, she would notice something, this is my dream after all.

“I’m glad to hear it, though I’m sure you’ll learn the layout of the castle in time,” she says, smiling.

And before I can stop myself:

“Do you ever get tired of this? Your job, I mean. Guarding dreams, raising the moon, ruling?”

Knowing that there’ll never be a true end to the tedium?

Luna’s eyes seem to shimmer for a split second before her lips part.

“I once thought the same way as you do, but I know I love this job, I wouldn’t trade it for any other in the world.”

“Why?” I ask in a low voice.

“I find there is nothing more rewarding in life than helping other ponies,” she replies. “You remember reading about my corruption in the history books, no? How I fell to the darkness within my heart and let it consume me?”

Oh fuck, I didn’t mean…

“Uhm, yeah…I remember…” I say, trying my best to not sound like a six-year-old and trail off.

And failing miserably.

“It’s okay, Mezzo, it is not a sore subject,” she starts. “I have long since moved past the Nightmare Moon incident and accepted the Nightmare’s actions. Besides, I was the one who brought it up.”

I sigh, “Yeah, you’re right, sorry. Just, I wasn’t sure how you’d react. My dad told me a story once of how you nearly blew the roof off the last time somepony brought it up around you.”

Luna just sighs and holds her head in her hooves.

“Sorry, I assume that’s not true?” I say, chuckling.

“No, it is not, nor is it the first time I’ve heard about that. Where was that rumor even started?”

I shrug.

If I had to guess…I mean, it’s in their best interest to keep everypony fearful of the Princesses, otherwise, they’d have no reason to revere them as much.

“Probably one of the churches, if I had to guess. The entire basis of that institution hinges on some level of fear of you four.”

Luna nods, then cocks an eyebrow, “While you might be right, I have to ask, how are you so easily able to recognize that?” She asks.

I smirk.

I'm so fucking smart.

I mentally roll my eyes.

Shut the fuck up.

“I’m a bit of an outsider looking in.”

Not to mention my unhealthy amounts of self-awareness.

“My mom never let me 'fall' for any of the church’s teachings, one of the things I can actually say had some positive elements to it. Allows me to make such informed commentary as ‘we live in a society’.”

I can’t help but smile when Luna fails to stifle a bit of mirth.

“Ah, so you’ve seen it?”

Because I know I haven't!

She just shakes her head and smiles.

“No, I haven’t seen the movie, but I see enough dumb images on Tweetbook to know what you’re talking about.”

My eyes go wide and I gasp.

“You use the funny bird app too?”

Author's Note

Constructive feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

EDIT: Made minor grammar changes and added italicization

Chapter 7: I Think, Therefore I Can't

That was just one punch in the gut after another the other day, wasn’t it?

I chuckle to myself.

I think my jaw dropped more times that day than it did in my entire life. Cadence said that I’ll have all the time I need to process all of this, but I don’t think that’ll be sufficient. Someday, I’ll probably be expected to uphold something like what I saw, right?

Every alicorn in history has always been somepony of great renown. Pr-er, Celestia and Luna ruled Equestria for countless centuries before Luna’s banishment, and even then, Celestia still kept it going strong for another millennium alone. Twilight just straight-up saved the entire world a few times, and Cadence ruled the Crystal Empire for her first century.

So what the fuck am I going to do? I’m just some washed-up, dumb-ass gig musician who lived in the western settlement for a few years! Who fucking cares? Not me, that’s for sure!

Oh, hey look, there I go again on my ‘downward spiral'. How long am I going to be keeping this up for? The rest of time? When I’m supposed to be spending time with my family before they all fucking die?

And there I go aga-

I force myself to physically stop moving. I think a staff member or two dressed in black suits further down the hallway full of swirling colors take note and glance in my direction briefly before returning to organizing what I assume to be a broom closet. Yet I pay them little mind as I force myself to take a deep breath.

I need to get the fuck out of my own head. The more I keep thinking about it all, the more I’ll just drive myself insane.

I force myself to keep trotting along, my breathing steady and gaze sunk to the floor. I run a hoof through my mane.

What do I have to look forward to? Anything? Spellcasting, I guess, that’ll be sometime after breakfast. Just gotta trudge through until then. And then hopefully another talk with Luna tonight, that’s always fun.

I bite my cheeks before sighing again.

I need a fucking life. I’m excited about something as trivial as simply talking with somepony.

Oh, wait!

Frantically glancing up, my eyes are met with a pair of huge, parched white wooden doors, each with a golden doorknob. I let out a sigh of relief.

Good, I didn’t miss it. At least, I think so. This is the dining hall, right?

Tentatively, I approach the huge doors with one ear swiveled to face them. After hearing the clattering of metal against ceramic, I take that as my cue to twist the doorknob with my left wing and push the door open.

“Good morning, Mezzo,” Twilight says while poking her head out from behind her laptop.

“Good morning,” Celestia says, smiling warmly.

“Morning, Mezzo!” Cadence calls out.

“Mornin’,” I reply with a grin and quickly scan my gaze across the room.

Long ass table and cushions on the left, and…ooooh a buffet, sick and cool. I assume this is up for grabs? I mean, I see Celestia, Twilight, and Cadence all have the same white ceramic plates as the small stack near the end of the buffet table.

“You sleep in late?” I hear Cadence ask behind me.

Yes, obviously I slept in late, otherwise, I would’ve been here an hour ago.

Quickly I glance back at her before returning my attention to the numerous aluminum food baskets that I’m sure all have heating spells on them.

Ooooh, waffles and hashbrowns? Yes fucking please.

“Yep, guess I needed it,” I say, grabbing a plate and raising my voice a little so they can hear me.

What do I mean, ‘I guess’? That shit was one hundred percent required for me to keep functioning as a living creature on this planet.

“I can imagine, I remember my first week as an alicorn being pretty overwhelming,” I hear Cadence say as two waffles and hashbrowns plop onto my plate.

“What was it like?” I ask, grabbing the syrup bottle.

“Well, it’s been a long time and I can’t remember many specific details, but I know Auntie Celestia did a lot of explaining that week and I had trouble remembering it all when it became relevant again.”

I nod while humming in acknowledgment.

“Got all jumbled up in there to where everything just sorta blended together?” I ask, finally making my way over to the table. Without thinking, I plop myself down two cushions down from Cadence.

Ah fuck, didn’t mean to do that. Can’t move now without looking like a creep so I’ll just sit closer next time.

“Yep, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it, but it all worked out in the end, thanks to Auntie,” she finishes, turning to her left to smile at Celestia, who instantly returns it before going back to sipping on her tea and scrolling through her phone that resembles the pink and white colors swirls I keep seeing all around the castle.

“Awesome,” I reply before grabbing my fork and digging in.

Yeah, sorry, I have nothing to add to that. It’s not like I’m even through the first week anyway.

I let silence reign until Cadence leans back a little and magicks her phone with the watermelon keychain into existence, letting the tedium of tapping and scrolling consume her. The only sounds that I hear break up the absence of meaningful conversation are the incessant clickity-clack of Twilight’s keyboard and the occasional whoosh of an incoming message emanating from Cadence’s direction.

I smile to myself.

Damn, look at everypony, enjoying the moment.

“What?” Cadence asks, turning her head in my direction.

“Nothing, nothing.”

Shit, was I chuckling? I didn’t even notice.

I shake my head lightly before hearing a barely audible frustrated hum from Twilight. Her lilac eyes are hyper fixated on the screen in front of her, the mouse next to her moving swiftly in her magical grasp with the most precise movements I’ve ever seen.

Eh, fuck it.

“W-what’s wrong, Twilight?” I ask.

Perking her head up from behind the screen, her gaze fixates on me.

“I just upgraded to GlassFrame 11 and I can’t get the file extensions to change, it’s only letting me change the names.”

Oh, easy.

“Yeah, I had to look that up when I u-updated. G-g-g-g…” I trail off and squeeze my teeth together before forcing myself to take a breath.

“G-g…” I clench my teeth again.

Fuck this shit!

“Mother fucker!” I cry, slamming my hoof onto the table.

Fuck, shit, dammit, no! Fucking dammit, why now?! Murphy’s Law, is that it? Fucking brick wall dammit!

I sigh and throw my head in my hooves. I take a deep breath to calm my frayed and frazzled nerves.

I can feel their eyes pouring into me like a million little needles all piercing me at once. I let out another deep breath to stop myself from growling in anger.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. Click ‘View’ at the top of the file explorer,” I say in a low voice.

Click.

“Click ‘Show’.”

Click.

“‘File name extensions’.”

Click.

“Oh, there we go, thanks Mezzo.”

“No problem,” I say, my voice still muffled by my hooves. I then start rubbing my eyes with my hooves and sigh again.

Fucking dammit, why do I have to act like such a fucking FOAL! Just SPEAK, dammit!

“Mezzo,” Cadence starts with a bit of uncertainty in her voice.

Yeah, I don’t blame you.

“What was that?”

I sigh again.

“Yeah, sorry,” I start, pulling my head up.

I still can’t meet their eyes, though.

“I’ve had a stammering problem since I was, like, three and sometimes it gets really aggravating. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mezzo, that’s completely understandable,” Cadence says, the soft melody of her voice bringing my gaze up to meet her eyes. The oceans contained in her eyes allow me to drop my shoulders by just an inch.

“Really-”

“Yes, it’s completely understandable,” Twilight starts. “We all have little flaws like that. Sometimes I still fail to recognize basic social cues, despite Celestia’s best efforts.” She smiles sheepishly when she finishes, almost shying away from Celestia when she looks over at Twilight.

I can only cock an eyebrow.

“Twilight is right, we all have our flaws. A lot of the time, I find myself unable to tear myself away from my work ever since now I can just do most of it from my phone,” Celestia says, having finally put down her small white teacup and swirling pink and white phone.

Ha, irony.

I shake my head a little and smile faintly.

“Thank you, I needed that reminder,” I say softly. I turn my head to my left when I hear the ruffling of pillows and hooves, only to be met with a faceful of pink. Looking up slightly, I’m met with Cadence smiling down at me, her semi-flowing mane almost obscuring her face.

My breath almost hitches when a warmth washes over my body and a soft, almost ticklish, feeling encompasses the right side of my body. I take a deep breath as Cadence shifts her wing around me.

“We all have something we have to deal with,” she says soothingly, the chorus of her voice allowing me to fully relax.

Yes, I know, I’ve just been reminded of that.

I smirk.

“Then what’s wrong with you?” I nearly whisper.

“Nothing, I’m flawless and perfect,” she says without missing a beat.

I snort and chuckle, only for Cadence to do the same.

Yeah, you wouldn’t say that unless you’re just trying to hide it. At least, I think so. Understandable, it’s not like I know you very well yet.

“If you will excuse us,” Celestia starts, rising from her cushion and drawing my attention. “Twilight and I need to continue our duties for the day.”

They look over to Cadence and I, almost as if they’re expecting something.

What, are you actually waiting for us to excuse you two?

“Have fun and good luck with that,” I say, giving a single wave.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can help with,” Cadence replies as Twilight and Celestia make their way over to nuzzle her before walking towards the door.

“Cadence, for the last time, you don’t need to worry about that. We have it all under control,” Twilight says in an attempt to soothe her worries, although I suspect it doesn’t work if Cadence’s pursed lips are anything to go by.

She lets out the faintest of sighs when the room becomes silent with a soft click. I definitely wouldn’t have heard it if the room wasn’t so quiet.

“What was that about?” I ask.

“I-”

She sighs again.

“I just can’t help but feel useless when I’m in the castle and not working.”

Looking back up to her, I can’t help but feel a small pang at her sullen expression, her gaze cast towards the floor.

“Centuries of Pavlovian conditioning will do that to ya, huh?”

She faintly nods and suddenly I become acutely aware of just how empty the dining room is now, save for the two of us.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I can relate to that. You can’t help but feel like you just need to keep doing something to make as many ponies happy as possible.”

She nods again.

“You know what I sometimes remember to tell myself when I get into that mindset?”

She seems to cock an eyebrow and bring her head up when I let the silence hang in the air for a second.

“What?”

“That, usually, it makes more ponies, especially ones that care about me, happy when I don’t kill myself working. It doesn’t make the sinking feeling in my stomach go away entirely, but it helps.”

She seems to mull it over in her head for a moment as if contemplating whether or not my advice could save the world from imminent collapse.

“Thanks, Mezzo,” she says finally, bringing her gaze back up to meet mine. A faint smile adorns her face.

I smirk.

“Anytime, Cadence.”

“Don’t you have better things you could be doing?” I ask and then immediately pause.

Wait, shit, that makes me sound like a fucking asshole, doesn’t it?

Before Celestia can respond, I open my mouth first. “No, wait…”

‘Why are you teaching me?’ ‘Why did you volunteer?’

Those all make me sound like an ungrateful fuckface.

“Ya know what, never mind, I-I can’t figure out a good way to say that without sounding like a jerk.”

“I know what you’re trying to say,” Celestia starts, smiling, and causing a small wave of relief to wash over me. The soft breeze causes her mane to flow just a bit more than normal, almost as if it’s trying to mimic the small blades of grass beneath our hooves.

“I volunteered to teach you because that’s what I love to do.”

My eyes widen in remembrance. Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, where Twilight learned to harness her magical ability.

“Oh right, forgot you have a school that’s literally named after you. My bad.”

Me and my fucking horse brain.

“Exactly, now let us begin,” she says, sitting down. The shade from a tall oak tree obscures her face just a tad as if it’s blocking her off from the world.

I shift just a hair closer to Pr-er Celestia and sit down in front of her.

“Do you remember how you first used magic against that timberwolf?”

“Yeah, kinda hesitant to try it again though. We all know how it ended last time.”

Celestia nods.

“Indeed, which is why I will be walking you through a different method. Instead of forcefully tearing through your inner mana pool and trying and pull out whatever you need, you’re going to need to let it flow through you.”

I dip my head and scrunch my expression up like some two-year-old scrap paper I used for calculus homework.

“So I need to let it flow like a river and not like a hurricane tearing through a town?” I summarize.

“Yes, exactly.”

See, it’s just not funny when I don’t use a swear word to amplify what I’m saying. Saying ‘hurricane tearing through a fucking town’ would’ve been a fuck of a lot funnier. Eh, even then it wouldn’t have been very funny, but still.

Shut up and focus, idiot.

“Alright, what do I need to do?”

“First, we’re going to try and simply channel your magic. I need you to clear your head as much as you can. The clearer it is, the easier this next part will be.”

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that this would be the start to some shitty story where the main character is some overpowered male who gets everything he ever wants. This is sounding so fucking cheesy.

Well, I guess those stories had to have gotten their tropes from somewhere.

Shaking my head a little, I take a deep breath and…focus on not focusing.

Irony.

Yeah, this ain’t working, chief.

“You’re trying too hard. You need to let go,” I hear Celestia say softly.

Let go? Let g-

Shut up! Stop rambling!

I take a deep breath again.

I feel the breeze tickling the ends of my fur. The soft sounds of ruffling leaves caress my ears, causing them to flick just once. My breathing and heartbeat combine to sound like a raging monsoon against the quiet of everything else and I have to force myself to slow it all down.

Just before I can open my mouth, Celestia speaks up.

“Good, now I need you to reach down deeper inside of yourself. Delve deep into the recesses of your heart. There, you will find what you’re looking for.”

I have to force myself not to question her further.

I just need to go for it. Don’t overthink it.

…
…
…

I’m falling. For a split second, I’m falling and I can’t do anything about it. My wings feel like they’re pinned to my sides!

But I’m not allowed to dwell on it for very long as I suddenly find myself in a familiar place within a blink of my eyes.

A soft ocean breeze fills my ears and the warmth of the sun beats down on me as I suddenly become aware of a slanted feeling beneath one of my hooves.

But what really catches my attention is the exact copy of myself that still seems to be resting in the middle of the sand grid where I last left him.

Unmoving.

Unchanging.

Expression as soft as the wind.

I raise my hoof out of the grid to find it slightly wet. Looking down, I see the sand grid is filled with a blue liquid. It isn’t water, water is clearer than that.

When I trace the lines of the sand grid with my eyes, my gaze eventually lands on a rock. A small rock that just so happens to be blocking the path to the small, empty pool that my double is sitting in, eyes still closed.

Cocking my eyebrow, I make my way over to the small rock, my gaze fixated on it as my hooves slosh about in the blue liquid. When I reach it, I extend my hoof out towards the rock, but it halts just before it.

An all-consuming sinking feeling washes over me, almost as if this one feeling is trying to drag me down a waterfall, into its watery depths below, never to be seen again.

I try to push past it. Nothing.

I try again. Nothing.

My hoof just can’t seem to force itself past the invisible barrier that’s stopping it from unlocking everything.

At least, I assume that’s what it’s going to do. Right? Unblocking this rock will unlock my mana, right? What if I just explode again? What if it all comes crashing down? What if-

A faint whisper among the clouds somehow manages to reach me and gives me pause. Throwing my head around to try and locate the source, I somehow find it.

I see, very faintly, a specter of Cadence sitting beneath one of the palm trees. The shade that seems to cast over her face almost obscures her, but she rises and takes a step out from under the tree and lets the light of the sun wash over her.

She seems distressed, almost as if the entire world is about to come crashing down.

For a moment, I’m paralyzed.

…
…
…

Until she smiles at me.

It’s faint; fleeing almost, but it’s there. I can clearly see it.

Returning my gaze to the small rock below me, I extend my hoof just a bit further. The rock finally pushes aside and some of the blue liquid slowly trickles into the small pool.

Of course, the pool isn’t empty anymore.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Chapter 8: I Think I'll Take You Up On That

But, like, why?

Why would she call for me?

It’s not something that could be resolved through the group chat or through DMs so it’s not just a minor problem. At least, I assume it’s a problem. Oh fuck, what did I do wrong?

I run a hoof through my mane and rub my eyes as I try not to tear my gaze away from the swirling pink and blue door currently standing in front of me. Though, the piercing gazes of the castle staff that seem to surround me like a million tiny porcupine quills tearing through my flesh all at once make that very hard.

I force my expression to soften and my shoulders to relax.

No need to dwell on it when I can very easily get a clear answer.

Adjusting my stance, I rhythmically rap my hoof against the wooden door.

“Come in!” I hear a muffled reply that somehow still manages to sound like a catchy chorus.

Here we go.

Pushing the door in, I can only cock an eyebrow at what I see, namely: Cadence lounging on some pillows in front of huge TV that looks nearly blinding from where I can see it lighting up the front of her body.

Is that a fucking NX controller she has?

“Hi, Mezzo,” she calls out from the other side of her room.

“Sup Cadence, you called?” I ask.

She quickly glances in my direction and pats a wing on the pillow on the floor next to her, leaving me to mouth ‘What the fuck’ when she isn’t looking.

Huh, she’s still wearing her regalia.

Anyway, as I walk over to her, I can’t help but let my eyes wander a bit. Walking in from one of the room’s corners, a huge king-sized bed rests lazily on the ground to my right, accompanied by a sizeable nightstand. The top of the nightstand itself is covered with personal effects, ranging from a mane brush to a framed picture of Cadence and some white stallion with a blue mane.

Shining Armor, maybe?

Further down on the right sits a large fireplace that looks like it's long since burnt out its fuel supply, kind of like me after a long weekend or just one simple fucking party. In contrast, the entire left wall is covered in wooden furniture: she has a bookshelf full of books that, I’m sure, she’s actually read before, unlike most creatures. There’s also a sizeable dark oak desk in the back left corner with a large monitor on top and a multi-colored computer tower below.

Huh, she’s got really good cable management. Twilight must’ve helped her. Or maybe she did it for her? Probably the latter.

The curtains on the opposite side of the room are drawn slightly, allowing a small font of light to spill into the room, revealing a marble balcony railing.

It’s not at all what I was expecting. Then again, what the fuck was I expecting?

Plopping myself down next to her, I finally get a good look at what she’s playing, the small blue, red, and grey controller only barely obscuring my vision of the TV as it floats in her aquamarine aura.

Vibrant greens and deep blues jump out at me from the screen and the vaguely cartoonish art style allows me to identify the game almost instantly.

What? She’s fucking playing The Great Calamity?

“So, I saw you had an NX from the report of the militia’s raid on your apartment, so I thought we could play The Legend of Epona: The Great Calamity together on my own console,” she says, drawing my attention to face her as she smiles.

Wha-wha-what? Why? How? Mostly just ‘Why?’

I-

I don’t-

“Um, sure?” I reply shakily, trying to ignore the small warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest.

I almost cringe when her smile falls and she puts the controller down as I hear a soft whoosh.

“Do you not want to?”

“No, no, I-I’d love to, I just wasn’t expecting that. I thought you called me here because I did something wrong,” I reply, nearly chuckling at the situation. I continue speaking before she can interject.

“But you d-do know that Equestrian Explorations is a s-single-player game, right?”

I fail to hide just a bit of mirth when her mouth goes agape.

“Oh, wait, really? I thought I just hadn’t gotten far enough yet…”

I sigh.

Look at this absolute fucking casual, imagine. Couldn’t be me.

“Pffft, mares, not knowing anything about video games. You’re not a true gamer, Cadence,” I say mockingly and a small wave of relief crashes into me when she nearly laughs.

I thought I didn’t make the joke obvious enough.

“Yeah, well, in my defense, I haven’t played this game in a while.”

What? How old are you again?

“This game has been out for, what, 5 years, and you’ve been off for the last near-century and you didn’t find the time?”

“Listen…” she trails off.

“Yeah? I’m listening,” I say before I finally start to laugh.

“It’s fine, I’m messing with you. How about I j-just watch you play? I’ll be the best backseat gamer you’ve ever fucking seen,” I say and grin like a fucking idiot when she laughs along.

“If you say so.”

I turn my attention back to the TV as she does so as well and the menu dismisses with a quick whoosh.

“So how far are you in the story so far?”

“Uhh, I think I’m heading to the fish creature territory? I forget what they’re called.”

Wait, she doesn’t even have any of the champion icons on the left side of the screen!

“What? Hasn’t even completed one divine-beat? Pffft, imagine. Couldn’t be me.”

“Shut up!”

Over the course of the next minute or two, I fail to stop myself from laughing as I see her player character continuously run into walls and drop into and out of the climbing animation.

This is so fucking hard to watch.

“Cadence,” I start after she falls into the river that splits the valley of this part of the game in two. “You’re not very good at this.”

She just cackles.

“Are you having fun watching me?”

“Not in the slightest, but making fun of you thoroughly makes up for that.”

Suddenly, my ears are nearly torn to shreds when Cadence yelps at the top of her lungs right next to my ear.

“Ow…”

“It’s killing me!” She cries as I see a small, red, grotesque pig creature winding up its club to attack her player character. I have to physically restrain myself from throwing my head into my hooves.

It hasn’t even hit you yet!

“Pull out your shield,” I say as calmly as I can. It’s the sort of calm where you can clearly see and hear the roaring winds of the storm approaching.

“How?!”

“ZL.”

A faint whoosh fills my ears.

“That’s not ZL,” I manage to say before breaking down into laughter.

With a soft click, the menu closes, only for the pokoblin to finally unleash its brutal club attack and for me to finally realize just how low her health bar is.

Cadence yelps one last time as big, bold, red letters reading ‘You Died’ fade onto the screen and the background fades to black with a brief, descending, legato piano flourish.

“You want some pointers, chief?” I manage to sputter out in between breaths of laughter.

“Shut up!”

“So first off,” I wheeze out. “You’re gonna wanna not run into the walls. That’s a very important part-”

I laugh even harder when she shoves me down onto my side.

“Please, Cadence, just fucking kill it for the love of Celestia!” I screech like a fucking banshee.

“I’m trying!” She shouts back at me.

The gamer rage has really consumed us both, huh? Eh, who cares, we’re having fun.

Still flicking my eyes back and forth between the screen and her controller, I watch as her player character jumps and then swings their sword, holding it out longways on the way down before splashing into the water below.

Fortunately, the swirling mass of dark purple and black malice is only just barely alive and takes the opportunity of Cadence’s immobility to collapse itself down into a small glowing ball of blue light and fly over to one of the other four pillars just barely jutting out of the water.

The sound of rapid-fire clicking calls my attention back to her controller, where I see Cadence furiously mashing X in a desperate attempt to get back up onto dry land before Aquablight Ganon could reform.

Normally, now would be the point where I’d tell someone ‘holy shit, calm the fuck down’, but I think I can safely keep my mouth shut here. If I remember correctly, I was mashing X just as much as she is when I did my playthrough.

Granted, I didn’t have a fucking idiot screaming in my ear the whole time. Am I an asshole for doing this shit?

“Please, please, please,” I whisper to myself as her player character finally drags themselves back onto land. Quickly, they draw a fire arrow back in a black and scaly white bow and release it.

The arrow soars through the air with the precision of an eight-year-old foal in front of a crowd and, somehow, with a satisfying ping and a screech of pain, the screen flashes to the ending cutscene and I let out a small sigh.

Finally.

“YES! WOOHOOO!” Cadence cries, pumping her hoof up into the air and bringing the biggest, and probably stupidest, grin to my face.

Fuck, there's just something inherently infectious and adorable about watching her cheer like a school filly.

Holy shit, that was cheezy, where the fuck did that thought come from?

With a sigh, I see a smiling Cadence drop the controller down onto the pillows and let herself collapse backward, wings spread.

Carefully, I lie down next to her.

“Oh, sorry,” I hear her say and the pink feathery things in my peripherals leave my sight.

“You’re fine, this is your room after all,” I say immediately as I turn my head slightly to see her scooching herself closer to me.

After a moment of silence passes, I let my eyes wander around what little of the room I can make out with my peripherals.

“Thanks for playing with me.”

“Anytime, Cadence. Thanks for inviting me,” I say with a grin.

“Wanna do this again sometime? Maybe with a different game?”

“Sure, I’ll kick your ass in Kario Mart.”

“Oh, you have no idea how much I’m gonna make you eat those words.”

“Really? Prove it.”

“And have the opportunity to make you eat my ass? Gladly.”

What?

“What?” Cadence says, grinning.

Did I say that out loud?

“PFFFFFFFFTT!” I spit out, quickly bringing a hoof up to cover my mouth and turning away before laughing. I wheeze even harder when the melody of Cadence’s laughter joins the chorus.

For nearly a minute we just lie there, fucking dying. Nothing else in the world matters right now. My lungs start to burn and I involuntarily clench my stomach with my hooves.

Eventually, our laughter dies down to a quiet chuckle…until I let out a gasp.

A guitar? How did I not notice that before?

“What?” Cadence asks.

“You play?” I respond, pointing a hoof towards an occupied guitar stand in the back corner of the room.

Cadence sighs and lets her smile fall.

“Not anymore, I’ve been meaning to get rid of it.”

“What? Why? What’d that guitar ever do to you?”

“I tried learning to play a while back, but playing wasn’t ever any fun. My instructor just had me play the same songs over and over and over again until guitar just went into the pile of dropped hobbies,” she replies, splaying her ears back.

Oh, fuck off with that! I can already picture that damn instructor: uptight, definitely had a suit on during every practice session, used dumb terminology of technical correctness.

“Oh no, I’m sorry, Cadence. I know exactly what kind of bullshit your instructor was pulling. I assume they just kept having you play Beethooven and shit over and over again?”

She hums in agreement, seemingly defeated, and I sigh.

“Yeah, I’ve known creatures like that, your instructor was definitely just trying to show off their knowledge and class. Let me, the actual musician who does this for a living, tell you that actually playing music is so much more than that. Did your instructor ever let you do improv? Did they ever let you play songs you actually wanted to play?”

She sighs. “No, it was just, ‘Princess, follow my conducting!’ or ‘Princess, that’s da-diga-diga-da not da-da-da-da’.”

Fucking gatekeepers. And they wonder why creatures feel like they can’t understand music.

“Yeah, I’m sorry you had to go through that,” I reply, splaying my ears back as well.

Hmm, I could just leave it there…or…

“Tell you what, how much do you actually remember from your lessons?”

“All of it, actually, I just don’t bother with it anymore,” she says, seemingly mildly confused if her eyebrows and tone are any indication.

I nod along with what she’s saying.

“If you wanna try playing again, let me know. We can play one of your favorite songs or something. Or really, just something better than that centuries-old BS that creatures still pretend is relevant. Because let me tell you, there are few things in life as satisfying as coordinating your improv with somecreature without using words, just audio cues.”

She hums and purses her lips.

“I don’t know…”

“If you don’t want to, then I won’t make you-”

Not like I even can make you.

“-But I strongly encourage you to give it another go. There’s so much more to it than just getting judged for playing something wrong. I assume your instructor did that?”

She nods.

“Yep, it sucked every time.”

“Yeah, but when you’re actually playing with other creatures, you’re allowed to make mistakes. You wanna know one piece of advice musicians learn about making mistakes?”

“What?” She responds instantly.

“Play a wrong note once, it’s a mistake. Play it twice, it’s intentional.”

“But you’ll know when I play a wrong note.”

Fair point.

“Not necessarily, I’ll be playing my own instrument. But even if I do, do you really think I’m gonna be a bitch about it? You’ve already made it clear that this is serious.”

She sits up and brings a hoof up to her chin. I smile lightly when I notice the small creases on her forehead.

“You know what?” She says finally. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

I smile to myself, letting my hooves stride along on autopilot and my head hang down.

That was the most fun I’ve had in a long ass time. Guess it says something about how fucking lonely and sad I am.

I chuckle to myself. Like the sort of chuckle where you just let a breath out of your nose.

Well, it’s not like my friends take the time to invite me to do anything so, fuck me I guess. Maybe I can organize something with them when I’m actually allowed to go out into public. Right, because I’m still a state secret right now.

Fuck, am I even going to get the chance to do that with them? What’re they gonna think? First I’m the oddball for not belonging to a church and now I’m the odd one out for just being different.

I clench my teeth.

And it’s not like I had any fucking control over that!

I force my teeth to unclench and take a deep breath.

No, stop. Anger doesn’t help anything. Just get back to more positive thoughts like…Cadence!

Bringing a hoof up to slam my face into, I look up to be met with the sight of my door approaching on my right, still covered in swirling colors that would Cadence’s mane look dull.

And there I go again, still thinking about her. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’ve only known her for nearly a week and I’m this fucking attached to her?

I sigh as I bring my right wing up to grip the doorknob and throw it open.

It’s just infatuation. A school-yard crush, it’ll pass.

Hopefully.

Because I have no idea what I’ll do if it doesn’t.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Chapter 9: A Taste of Normalcy

“Umbrella at your side, it’s raining but you close it tight…” I hum nearly inaudibly, subtly bobbing my head up and down before noticing two castle staff passing by me with phones in both of their claws.

“‘And how are you?’ purred a cat just passing through.”

I nearly shy away when I spot a sharp glare from one of the passing griffins out of the corner of my eye. A small wave of anxiety crashes through my body and I take a shaky breath while running a hoof through my mane.

Just ignore them, just ignore them, and I’ll be fine. I gotta listen to that song again, maybe it’ll take my mind off of everything. Wait, now that I think about it…

I let my shoulders drop, allowing my muscles to relax.

Holy fuck am I tense.

Shaking my head, I make a right down another very familiar, and somehow still completely foreign, hallway. My gaze focuses on a plethora of sun rays spilling in from a sliding glass door farther down.

Finally, here we go. Lesson two.

I chuckle to myself.

Dear Princess Celestia, today I’m gonna get fucked today during spellcasting. Signed, an incompetent fool.

Yeah, like I could ever be as good as Twilight in spellcasting.

No, but Twilight’s the exception. No one is ever going to be as good as her.

I shake my head before finally stepping out into sunlight…and immediately squinting my eyes to the point where I can just barely make out where I’m going.

Fuck, I need to get out and touch grass more. Actual fucking incel right here.

Taking the small stone path out to a remote corner of the garden, I’m finally able to properly make out my surroundings by the time I can also see a relatively small outcropping coming into view. A distant, staccato chorus then draws my attention.

“Hey!” Cadence calls out.

“Sup, how’s it going?” I reply while panning my gaze across the sectioned-off area.

Two large oak trees sit at either side of the other end of it, which itself is enclosed by a small hedge. Cadence is sitting beneath one of the trees with a book in her magical aura and her mane tied up in a ponytail, likely to keep the flowing mess of vines out of her face.

But I’m not allowed much time to contemplate how adorable she looks as I follow her piercing gaze to the other oak tree across from her. Under said tree sits Celestia, still scrolling and tapping away at her phone, oblivious to the incessant and vigorous throat clearing by Cadence.

I can barely contain my laughter.

“Hey, Celestia! How’s it going?” I call out a bit louder than Cadence as I walk over to her.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Holy shit, this mare.

“Ay yo! Sunny Side Up!”

Like the snap of a griffin’s claw, she throws her head up and magicks her phone away.

Heh, guess you can say ‘Celestia only knows where her phone went.’

Sometimes, I’m just a comedic fucking genius.

I shake my head and smile.

“Smh Ce-”

“What did you just call me?” She asks, her eyes boring into my soul.

Oh fuck.

“Uh, sorry, that came out of me without thinking.”

Oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh-

But the harmony of an overlay of laughter breaks me out of my storm when I’m hit with both Celestia and Cadence’s laughter.

Oh, fuck these mares.

“So you ignore me and then laugh at me?” I ask, raising my tone in mock offense and raising a hoof to my chest.

“It was simply a joke, my little pony.”

I have to restrain an eye roll.

“I know, I was messing with you, too,” I reply, smirking. Celestia bows her head for a moment, smiling, before bringing it back up to face me.

“My apologies, Mezzo, I seem to have lost track of time.”

I smile.

“It’s alright, Celestia, you did say that you have a hard time pulling yourself away from your work, so no need to apologize. ‘We all have our flaws’, I believe you said.”

“True, I did say that, but it does not excuse my actions.”

“Then can we not excuse my stammering?”

“Your stammering is not something you can help.”

“Technically, I sort of can, but are your work habits something you can help?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, they are.”

“Really? So you weren’t forced to develop such stringent work habits from your millennium of ruling alone? O-or just ruling a country in general?”

“Please stop arguing, we’re not getting anywhere with this,” Cadence interjects, suddenly right next to us. “You’re here to learn and teach spellcasting, not figure out who is most at fault for something.”

“You’re right, Cadence. My apologies,” Celestia states.

Ah, fuck, I sorta got carried away there. But she shouldn’t blame herself!

“Sorry, you’re right.”

Maybe…

“How about you stop apologizing about things beyond your control, and I do the same. At least to each other.”

Celestia pauses for a moment, bringing a hoof to her chin.

“Mezzo, what did I just say?” Cadence asks, her voice scarily level.

Uhhhhh, abort?

“What? I’m trying to broker a peace treaty.”

“That sounds fair,” Celestia says finally, drawing our attention and allowing Cadence to take a step back.

“If you can make the effort to not apologize for your stammering, then I’ll make the effort to not apologize for my work habits. But-”

I close my mouth.

“-Only on the condition that we both strive to do better next time,” She finishes, putting a hoof out.

Doing better next time? Sounds like my life in a fucking nutshell. That’s, like, half of what I worry about. Usually.

“That’s agreeable. Deal,” I state, putting my hoof and shaking Celestia’s. Cadence takes the opportunity to walk back to her tree and continue her reading.

I should ask about what she’s reading later.

“Anyway,” I start, sitting down in the shade. “We got off track, let’s just run the gauntlet again.”

I clear my throat and continue speaking before Celestia can.

“Hey, Celestia, how’s it going? Are you ready to continue my spellcasting lessons?” I ask with an overexaggerated level of enthusiasm before chuckling.

“I’ll let you call me Sunny Side Up for the day if you want.”

What? Actually, fuck it. I’ve been doing too much thinking lately.

“Sure, so lemme rephrase that. Hey Sunny Side Up, how’s it going? Are you ready to continue my spellcasting lessons?”

I smirk when Celestia fails to hide a chuckle.

“Yes, I am ready. Today, we’re going to start with basic levitation: one of the simplest spells in the book.”

“Alright.”

“Now, you need to focus and stay calm. Negative emotions will be your enemy when actually casting any kind of spell.”

I nod.

“Now, see that stick right there?” She asks, pointing a hoof to a small, thin, brown stick about three inches from my right hoof.

“Yep.”

“Close your eyes and focus on that stick. For right now, pour a small amount of magical energy into it and imagine the stick moving. We’ll get into more efficient ways to cast levitation later.”

I nod again and close my eyes.

Clear my thoughts. Focus on my heartbeat. Or the slight breeze.

How am I supposed to dea-

I should listen to that s-woosh.

What’s Cade-woosh.

The sun-woosh.

Woosh.

A small stream of blue emerges from a cloud cover.

A small stream of blue jettisons out into my surroundings.

It’s approaching the stick like the stray end of a vine in a violent windstorm.

Almost there.

The stream gets thicker. A small pressure starts to form in my head.

What?

A geyser erupts from the cloud cover. My head starts to throb.

What the fuck!

Roaring like a tidal wave, the geyser expands, getting thicker and thicker, until the pressure in my head is too much.

The next thing I know, I’m lying on my back staring up into a rainbow of colors. My head is throbbing and my chest is killing me. It feels like someone took a sledgehammer to my ribcage.

My ears are ringing, but I can just barely register something in the background trying to break through.

What the fuck?

The ringing in my ears starts to subside. I try to muster up the strength to bring a hoof to my forehead, but something stops me and my hoof falls limp. I can make out voices now, cutting through the ringing with their pleasant tone and soothing timbre.

“Mezzo! Mezzo!” Cadence whisper-yells at me.

Oh so, that is her above me. Wait…

“Why are the branches tinted yellow?” I croak as my vision finally comes fully into focus.

Cadence sighs.

“Something went wrong while you were casting the spell. We’re not sure what exactly, but-”

“Did I fuck up the spell?”

“No, you didn’t mess up the spell, but we’re not sure why it happened.”

Yeah, I definitely fucked that up.

“What exactly happened?” I ask as I readjust myself.

Why does the ground feel softer than normal?

Oh wait, that’s just Cadence.

“You caused a minor explosion due to a sudden and large release of magic.”

I sigh.

Fuck me.

“Oh, woohoo,” I say, my voice as dry as the Appoloosan desert. Which isn’t hard given how I can now feel how dry my throat is. “I blew up again. My favorite. I assume the tint is Celestia’s shield spell?”

Cadence nods.

“Yep, she threw it up quickly enough to prevent any major damage to you, but you’ll still likely suffer from slight magical exhaustion after this.”

I nod.

“And you haven’t teleported me down to medical yet because…”

“Because we need to check you in like any other castle staff, and teleporting you in your current state would likely just make it worse, no matter how good we’ve gotten at it.”

“Fair point,” I drag out of my vocal cords along with a pained grunt as I adjust myself again. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Can you walk?”

I try to muster up the strength to move my hoof again. I end up flimsily swinging it around in front of me before letting it flop to the ground.

“Barely.”

“Alright, I’ll carry you out,” Cadence says, slightly exasperated.

Ah great.

“Thanks,” I say as I feel myself briefly become weightless. “And sorry for causing all of this.”

“No problem, Mezzo. And again, it’s not your fault.”

I wrap my hooves around her neck.

Kind of seems like my fault, and your tone ain’t helping, chief.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Yep!” I call out, my voice barely muffled by the mountain of sheets and comforters I’m under.

With a soft click, my bedroom door opens and surprisingly doesn’t squeak on its hinges. Cadence pops her head in through the doorway. Once she makes eye contact with me, she fully walks into my room with a plastic tray full of food and a water cup suspended in her soft blue magical aura. Annoyingly, I catch my gaze lingering a bit too long on her still-present ponytail.

Fuck off! Stop staring, creep!

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” She asks, her melodic voice ringing out slightly across my room. It brings a slight smile to my face.

I peel myself out of the covers and sit up a little.

“Bit better. Not as light-headed as before and I c-can think straight again. I think,” I say with a grin.

“That’s great to hear. I brought you some dinner,” She smiles while raising the tray a little in front of her.

“Thank you so much. Thanks for dealing with me, I really appreciate it,” I say as the tray slowly floats over and plops itself into my lap.

I know I’m a fucking hoofful of a foal to deal with given I’m just spending my days here leeching instead of doing anything to help.

And then I guess I’d be hypocritical if I didn’t acknowledge what I said to Cadence the other day during breakfast. But it’s not like they’re my trusted loved ones or anything. I can only assume it’s out of a sense of obligation or something.

“Although why didn’t you just send one of the staff up here with my food? That seems infinitely easier, no?”

Cadence frowns slightly and I can’t help but feel like I’ve said something wrong. Like that foreboding feeling you get right after you say something you definitely should’ve thought through more and you start to panic a little.

“Because I wanted to check up on you.”

Fuck me! I’m such a fucking idiot, holy shit!

“Right, sorry. I, uh, shouldn't have said that,” I reply, lowering my voice.

“Why would you expect that from me?” She asks, her eyes a little wider and eyebrows just a little scrunched up.

“Because that’s…”

I slouch slightly.

What I would do to me.

“...I dunno, I guess that’s just my immediate thought process. Sorry.” I nearly whisper that last part.

For a long moment, she just stands there, staring at me as if I were the world’s largest puzzle and I feel a pit start to expand in my stomach.

Oh wait, she’s still just standing there. Standing there. Another fucking dumbass move by me. And here I am more concerned about how uncomfortable this silence is making me.

“So, uh, are you staying?”

“Maybe.”

“Then, uh, have a seat. You can use my desk chair to roll around if you want. Sorry, I should’ve said that earlier, I got distracted.”

“It’s alright,” she starts with some concern lacing her melodic voice as she makes her way over to my desk chair. “I got distracted too.”

I nod before I finally start to eat the food she brought me. Thank fuck it’s just light spaghetti. I don’t think my stomach would be able to handle anything heartier.

“So, what do you do all day in here when I’m not dragging you around?”

I chuckle, like when you just let a small breath out of your nose.

“Uhh, nothing important, really. I’m actually grateful you drag me around since my job was usually the only reason I got out of my apartment. Normally, I’m just playing video games, reading, or practicing.”

“That’s it? You’re not talking with your friends or going outside?”

I shake my head.

“Nah. I used to get outside more but I’ve been losing motivation to actively exercise since college. Both my major and my current job usually keep me inside which, I’m sure, is a negative feedback loop at this point. Er, negative positive feedback loop. As for my friends, mostly no. The only time I talk to them is like once every two weeks or so when I remember to message them and check up on what they’re doing. Other than that, nothing.”

“That’s sad.”

Pffft, okay. Sure.

“Damn, blunt much?”

“No, I didn’t mean that as an insult. I mean, creatures are usually happier when they’re around others.”

No, really? Everything Mom ever told me, all those NetMeTube videos I watched and extrapolated from, and my own personal experience thoroughly drilled that into my head.

“True.”

I look up from my long, slender, wheaty goodness to see Cadence peering at me.

Ha, yeah no, we’re not continuing this.

“S-so, what do you do all day when you’re not dragging me around?”

“I’m usually hanging out, helping around where I can.”

“I thought Celestia and Twilight told you multiple times to not help.”

“Uhm…” she trails off.

Really? Alright then, I’ll honor it.

“Never mind, you don’t have to tell me-”

“No, no,” she says quickly. “You said what you did, it’s only fair if I do the same.”

Damn, an instant 180.

“Alright.”

“Uhm, I…sorry,” she says sheepishly.

“Ta-ta-it’s alright.”

Fucking dammit, stop stammering!

She seems to take my words to heart and leaves silence hanging in the air for another full five seconds before she finally speaks.

“Usually I’m doing one of two things: volunteering or playing video games.”

I feel my mouth go agape for a split second.

“So you do actually play video games? What else do you play other than, ya know, The Great Calamity?”

Just gotta save my question about her volunteer work for whenever I can fit it in.

“Well, I’ve recently been getting into competitive games, I find those a lot more engaging.”

“Wh-that why you didn’t know so much about Calamity?”

I have to force myself not to clench my teeth.

She nods.

“Yep, I normally don’t have so much fun with the game.”

Wait, but that implies…

“So my commentary made it more fun for you?”

She smiles.

“Yes, it did, thank you.”

Let’s fucking go!

“Thank fuck, I thought I was being annoying.”

“No, you were fine,” she says, waving her hoof dismissively.

Well, I was still yelling in your ear, should probably cut down on that next time.

“Anyway, you mentioned volunteer work?”

She goes to open her mouth, but closes it again a split second later, only to open it back up another heartbeat later.

“I like to volunteer at any local orphanages that I can. I love getting to read to the little fillies and colts and helping the nurses take care of the foals. They…” she trails off, her gaze now cast down towards the floor. She doesn’t seem to notice the idle movements of her hoof on the floor, twisting the chair ever so slightly back and forth.

I-what do I even say? I fucked up the last time we brought up foals when she mentioned infertility to me a couple of days ago. What if-

“So, what were you doing on here?” Cadence asks hastily, ripping me from my thoughts and bringing my gaze up to see her focused on my open laptop. The almost ethereal blue the screen casts onto her mane is mesmerizing.

Understandable.

“I was trying to respond to gig requests from creatures back in the Western settlement, mainly to deny them since I’m here, but I couldn’t keep focused for very long. But I could probably get back to it once I’m done eating.”

Oh right, I forgot I have food here.

“Mind if I look through it a bit?”

I cock an eyebrow.

I ain’t got nothing important in there, so…

“Uh, sure? Knock yourself out,” I say, shrugging.

And so, for the next five-odd minutes, the silence of the room is only occasionally broken up by the clattering of metal against plastic and a small, barely audible click that has been ingrained into my memory.

That is until I notice Cadence…looking at me. I can’t quite articulate how she’s doing it in such a way that sends a shiver down my spine, but she certainly manages to do it.

Uh oh, what’s wrong?

“Mezzo, what is this?”

“What is what?” I ask like a fucking idiot.

Cadence clears her throat and smirks, turning back to face the laptop screen.

“In the end, the Alicorn of All’s confrontation with the ancient evil ended in a triumphant victory, thus ending the 100-year war.”

No. NO! I THOUGHT I DELETED THAT BOOKMARK!

A cold sweat starts to coalesce on my brow.

“With the evil’s defeat came the release of the four Alicorn Pri-”

“Okay, Cadence, Cadence, Cadence, you have to listen to me,” I say like I’m trying to calm a wild animal approaching me.

And Cadence’s toothy grin only accentuates that feeling.

“That was a joke.”

“Are you sure?”

Holy fuck, I’m not getting out of this.

I suppress a laugh.

“Yes. I swear on my fucking life, that was a joke,” I say, punctuating each syllable with a gesture.

She smiles even wider and leans back in my chair.

“Hum, I dunno, Mezzo, doesn’t seem like a joke to me.”

Oh, fuck off! NO!

I throw my head into my hooves.

“This is not happening.”

“Do you really wanna get with all four of us?”

I start to chuckle and shake my head.

“You do realize that’s a tall order, right? You do realize that Celestia and Luna are my Aunts, right?”

“You suck.”

“So that is what you want me to do.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Cadence finally breaks down laughing, cradling her front hooves in her stomach.

I just smile and shake my head.

“I think Twilight and my Aunts both deserve to know about this.”

“DON’T SEND THAT TO THE GROUP CHAT!”

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Chapter 10: Just Checking In

My eyes flutter open and the gears in my mind start to grind. Tiny cogs strain against each other as I slowly regain the functionality of my brain. Throwing my eyes about, I’m only met with an ethereal landscape dotted with twinkling stars, not unlike Luna’s mane.

Wait, Luna? Ethereal?

“Hello again,” a voice rings out like the flow of water caressing my ears.

Ah, dream.

Shaking my head a little and taking a deep breath, I turn to my left as Luna touches down on the…ground…sure, that works…and folds her wings in.

“Sup, how goes things in the Empire?” I say sitting down on my haunches. Luna sighs and smiles faintly.

“Well enough, though the Church officials are a thorn in my side, as always.”

I smile back at her as she sits down as well.

“How so?”

The only thing the newspapers ever talked about before regarding the Churches was all the good they did and how glorious their leaders were. Twilight’s Church running her school, for example.

“Cadence’s Church specifically keeps asking why she was suddenly called back to Canterlot.”

“Why wouldn’t they already know that? I was smack dab in the middle of the western settlement when I woke up after my ascension.”

“Yes, but the Crown has refused to officially comment on anything regarding your incident. So right now, there are only unconfirmed rumors of what actually happened and why Cadence was called back.”

“How exactly are creatures reacting to the rumors? Whatever they are?”

“Right now the most widely accepted rumor I’ve been briefed on is that it’s just another false alarm and the media is simply making a frenzy over nothing.”

I smirk.

“They’re gonna have one fuck of a reaction when they learn the truth. When is that happening by the way?”

I pause with my mouth still open like an idiot.

“The announcement, I mean?”

Luna nods.

“All I can say is that we’re not done discussing yet, but we have narrowed it down to two options. We will tell you when we know for certain.”

“What? Why can’t you tell me? I don’t think something like that would be considered a national security secret like what Cadence told me about the fake ascensions.”

I draw my head back just a smidge and purse my lips when Luna suddenly stands up and flares her wings out, her expression contorted to a serious frown.

“Who dared mention such a thing to you?” She bellows and I feel my heart pound in my chest.

“Cadence did, I’m sorry! But she didn’t give me any details for the exact reason I said, I swear!” I cry instantly, my wings barely unfolded now as if in preparation to take off.

Several heartbeats later found Luna still with her wings flared out, her eyes flicking around my frame as if to find some long-lost truth.

Heh, maybe she is.

Finally, she relaxes her stance, draws her wings in, and sighs.

“My apologies, Mezzo, but I have to be sure. And while I do not think you are lying, you need to understand something. No creature can ever know about that. Even the fact that it happened must NOT get out to the public.”

At this point, I feel like some berated twelve-year-old whose Mom just caught them jerk-

“Do you understand me?” She says softly. I just sit there like an idiot for half a second before slowly nodding my head with Luna eyeing me all the while.

“Yeah, I get it,” I mutter before bringing my hoof up to my chest.

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Luna smiles softly before sitting back down and sighing once again.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah…” I reply, my voice nearly shaking like a small earthquake.

“It’s not that we don’t trust you, but…you’re still new to this. Those kinds of things are the last thing anycreature should concern themselves with, especially when it can cause mass panic.”

I nod.

“Yeah, no, I get it. Just, why did Cadence tell me if she wasn’t allowed to in the first place?”

Luna smiles, and this time, I can feel my shoulders drop slightly at the sight of it.

“Simple, she made a mistake.”

I pause and open my mouth slightly, looking down.

No fucking way I’m that dumb, right?

I chuckle and shake my head, lowering my gaze to the cascading blanket of stars below us.

“Right, completely fu- forgot about…wait, sorry, do you mind if I curse?”

Luna shakes her head. “Go for it.”

“Completely fucking forgot about that, whoops.”

I look back up to see Luna’s mouth still curled up into a smile.

“Sorry, it feels like having to hold in a sneeze when I don’t do it sometimes.”

“While I cannot say I understand, I can say that it’s alright.”

I nod again.

Now, where do we go from here?

“If I can give you a piece of advice?” She asks.

“Always.”

“While neither I, nor Cadence, mind your swearing, there are inevitably going to be creatures who look down on you for such a habit, as they see swearing as immature.”

I smirk.

I can’t remember a time when this hasn’t crossed my mind.

“Yeah, no, I know it’s not exactly a good habit to have. I think I’m too self-aware to let myself ever forget that, but it’s just a matter of whether or not I can control it in front of others at this point. Clearly, I can’t if what I just did with you is any indication.”

That and I don’t think I could keep up the consistency needed to break the habit.

“Well, in any case, please do try to keep it to a minimum while in public. Creatures will be looking up to you after the announcement, whether you like it or not.”

I nod and sigh.

Fuck, even more I need to worry about?

“Thanks for the heads up, Luna, I’ll try my best.”

Fuck me! Gotta watch what I say, how I act, keep everything in check?! Fucking dammit, I need-

“And Mezzo, “ she starts. “Do not think you’re alone in this. If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to bring them to any one of us. We have already bared the burdens that you are about to be thrown into. Use us as a resource, we are here to guide you. The offer we made during the initial meeting does still, and always will stand.”

I sigh again and nod.

Maybe I should.

I have her right here. This is my dream, no doubt she can at least sense that something is brewing.

I’m going to outlive them all. I’m going to have to bury every creature I’ve ever loved and watch everything I’ve ever known decay into the endless void of time. Being constantly watched and scrutinized by the entire world?

I go to open my mouth but a brick wall stops me. An omnipresent and overwhelming force keeps my jaw locked tight for a split second.

Maybe I could ask them what they all want at their funerals? Maybe that’d be light-hearted? I don’t know. I need more time to figure it out.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

What do I do? Should I just walk in?

A pale blue hippogriff with dark azure accents dressed in a white lab coat brushes past me to swing the door open.

I mean, she didn’t explicitly say it was fine for me to just barge in at any time.

I scan my gaze across the vast ceiling for a third time, as if in an attempt to finally discover “what’s up?” As swathes of beautiful colors fill my vision, so to do swathes of thoughts consume my mind.

Everycreature in the world expects so much of them! How the fuck do they handle it? Surely they’re not just blind to it, they’ve been able to keep the peace this long for a reason.

I sigh and step out of the way of a small changeling rushing past me towards the door, also adorned in the same powder-white lab coat.

I need to get my mind off of this, that’s the whole reason I’m here! I think if I just confidently walk in and head straight for Twilight’s office, I’ll be fine. Just gotta follow somecreature in there when they walk in, I guess.

I let my gaze fall to the floor and I pace around the entrance to Twilight’s Applications Lab.

After the first minute, I grit my teeth but force a deep breath out of myself.

After the second, my hoof steps become heavy for a second before I force them to be softer on the ground.

At the third, the lab doors fly open again and a tan pegasus mare comes flying out like a frazzled hummingbird that just slammed into a window, a stack of papers haphazardly cradled her arms.

Catching the door as it swings closed, I sidestep inside the lab and immediately make a beeline for Twilight’s office, careful to avoid eye contact.

Just walk quickly and confidently and no creature is going to question me. Towards the back of the room, down the hallway to the right, if I remember correctly.

I have to squeeze past unicorns fiddling with soldering irons and earth ponies drilling nail holes in the back of some wooden prototype.

How they keep this place from feeling like a sweaty gym locker is beyond me, although I’m sure if I took the time to look around a bit I could figure it out. Anyway, back to the task at hoof!

Down this corridor, past the laser cutter, and make a right down the hallway. Finally.

Stopping at a comparatively tall lavender door marked with a plaque bearing Twilight’s name, I raise a hoof to knock.

Wait, am I-

Knock knock knock

“Come in!” I hear a muffled voice from beyond the door.

I twist the doorknob with my right wing and with a small click and a soft, barely noticeable beep, the door opens.

I step through the doorway and into two gazes, one soul-piercing and the other softer but no less serious.

Wait, alabaster coat? Blonde mane? What was her name again? She was the one I saw arguing with Celestia when I first got here.

“Oh, Mezzo, hello, I-”

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

“See what I’m saying, Princess?” The mystery mare starts while rising from her chair in front of Twilight’s desk. “He has no place in-”

“I understand your concern, Secretary Frost. One moment, please,” Twilight says and briefly raises a hoof before returning her attention to me.

“Is it urgent?”

“No, I’ll wait outside, sorry,” I sputter out quickly before shutting the door.

Holy fuck, this was a bad idea. I’ve already fucked up! AGAIN! I hope it wasn’t serious, but that’s just wishful thinking. Frost’s, er- Secretary Frost seems to hold some real contempt with me. What the fuck did I do? Well, I did just interrupt them, and I am pretty ignorant to the goings-on of this castle. I think. Not like I can know what I don’t know.

A minute later, the office door next to me clicks and beeps open, and a furious-looking Secretary Frost storms out. If you squint hard enough, you can make out the heat waves radiating off of her like looking down a street of asphalt on a hot summer’s day.

Turning my attention to the doorway, I hear a small, barely audible sigh before Twilight calls out again.

“You can come in now.”

“What was that about?” I say as I tentatively trot in and take a seat in the still-warm chair.

Twilight shakes her head.

“Nothing important. Now, what brings you here?” She asks, finally smiling again.

“Um,” I start. Well, this seems really inconsequential now. “I just wanted to check in, see if there was anything I could do to help around here.”

Twilight shakes her head again, smiling this time.

“Both of you? Cadence asked the same thing about my paperwork earlier. Wait, why isn’t she with you? I thought you two did everything around here together.”

“I slipped in through the door after somecreature left, and I didn’t wanna bother her.”

Twilight shakes her head again.

Am I really that disappointing that you shake your head three times?

“Mezzo, you’re allowed to come in here as you please, your magic signature has already been logged into the system.”

I cock an eyebrow.

“So I can go anywhere?”

“Well, not anywhere, but this is one of the places you can come and go at will.”

“I see…” I mutter and lower my gaze briefly.

“Anyway, no there isn’t much to do right now. I’m still waiting on the latest results from my testing lab to see if my next project has any viability for the public, and Discord is off visiting Spike again.”

“Oooo, what’re you making?” I ask, my tone reaching an inflection point.

“That’s a secret. For now, at least, until I can get it into a workable state, assuming that proves to be possible.”

I nod, and silence hangs in the air for a split second too long.

Nu-uh, I ain’t letting that happen this time.

“Does Discord ever help you around any of your labs?”

“Of course! Well, sometimes. Do you know about chaos theory?”

Yeah, I’ve watched several NetMeTube videos about it, all pretty interesting, getting seemingly random results from a deterministic system. But I can say something funnier. I think.

“Yeah, I vaguely know it as how I get random numbers when I type ‘math dot random’ in a program.”

Nah, that wasn’t funny in the slightest, fuck me.

“Well, you are right about that, but the underlying math behind it is given by equations governed by chaos theory, which Discord helped me discover.”

“Oh, wait, really? Holy shit that’s awesome! Alright, I think I understand what you’re saying. But just in case, would you mind explaining it to me like I’m two years old?”

Twilight smirks and raises a hoof.

“Well, let me explain one simple way to get unpredictable results from a deterministic equation, which is the definition of chaos.”

I lean back into the plush fabric of the chair and adjust my wings, my gaze still focused on her as she drones on.

Thankfully, it’s interesting.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Chapter 11: Progressive Reality Checks

Author's Note

The author's note is at the top this time to say: Sex tag has been added for a joke later on in this chapter, and likely more to come.

Now, for my usual shpiel:

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Sorry, this took longer than usual to get out. And on that note: special thanks to Pen Dragon for helping me edit this chapter!

Chapter 11: Progressive Reality Checks

Any minute now.

I shift around in the small plush chair that I had dragged over in front of my desk earlier in a vain attempt to get comfortable. I glance at the monitor on the desk in front of me to check the time.

2:30.

With a quick tap of the “B” button, the small half menu vanishes from the screen, leaving only a grid of characters that all blur together into a rainbow and two spinning go-karts on the right side of the screen.

Looking down slightly, I drag my gaze across the base of my desk.

Water bottles? Check. Bowl of pretzels? Check. Needless anxiety? Double-check.

With a flick of my eyes back to the screen, I double-tap the home button on the controller again with a wing, causing the phantom menu to once again flash into being.

2:31.

Where the fuck is she? It’s like 10 minutes past the time we scheduled.

I lurch over to grab my phone from my desk and hold my hoof to the screen for a second. With a soft click, it lets me in and I start swiping.

Nope, no new messages from her, just an “I’ll be there in five minutes!” fifteen minutes ago.

With a sigh, I bring my hooves up to my face and lean-

A sharp gasp of pain wrenches itself out of my mouth and I briefly lose all oxygen in my lungs. With a reverberant slap, my phone falls from my hoof onto my lap and I hold my head in my hooves as tidal waves of needles and knives crash down on my body and I clench my teeth.

Ow fuck! Fuck me! STUPID fucking BITCH!

For several moments I just sit there, desperately sucking air into my battered lungs.

Another small gasp of pain hurls my jaw open briefly before I desperately suck in more air.

After several more eternities, the pain dulls enough to where I can focus on my heartbeat, breathing, and a faint knocking sound.

Stupid fucking horn. How the fuck did I forget it was there?

Wait, knocking? Oh.

“Com-” I cough twice and clear my throat. “Come in!” I croak out as best I can and crane my neck around to see the door. When almost an almost ethereal-like trio of colors appears through the doorway, I throw my head back around and grab a water bottle to take a swig.

“Hey,” she pants. “Sorry I’m late, you got everything started?”

I pause briefly from my self-induced near waterboarding to hum in agreement with the water bottle still on my lips and my head tipped back.

I gasp a second later when I swing my head back around and lower the bottle.

“Yep,” I say and wipe my mouth with my hoof. “It’s all set up.” I turn my head around again to get a better look at her and cock an eyebrow when I see her trying to compose herself.

She quickly brings a golden shoe-adorned hoof in towards her chest while inhaling, and then extends the hoof back out and exhales. She repeats this twice more quickly.

“You okay?”

Her eyes fly open to stare at me.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What took you so long?”

“I just got tied up with something,” She says, walking over to me.

“You sure you’re okay? Y-you wanna talk about it?”

She smiles as she plops herself down in my rolling chair.

“There’s nothing really to talk about. A representative of my Church stopped me on my way back from the orphanage demanding to know where I’d been. Obviously, I couldn’t tell him anything but,”

I see her face scrunch up like a rounded accordion for a split second before she forces herself to take a deep breath.

“Sorry.”

“No, no, you’re fine. It was clearly weighing on you.”

“He was just incredibly…” she pauses for a brief moment.

Fucking annoying?

I go to open my mouth to voice my thoughts, but something stops me. I try three times to voice an “F” to get the ball rolling, but the brick wall stops me, as if the “F” just slammed into it and is now bleeding out on the floor.

So, I switch my starting syllable.

“Annoying?” I offer. She almost smiles.

“Persistent. Incredibly persistent. I only managed to shake him at the castle gates once I explained I had prior commitments.”

“Well,” I have no idea what to offer you. “Sorry, you had to go through that. But at least now you can enjoy some cart racing. A whole lot better than getting hunted down by a pack of wolves.”

“Wolves?”

“The Church.” She smiles fully this time. “Anyway,” I start while reaching over to grab a controller from the desk. “Here, one fifty cc” A light blue aura cradles the controller.

“Thanks.”

I hum in response and lean back in the chair.

“And thanks for asking.”

I briefly glance over and smile at her.

“Anytime.”

I know the feeling well.

With several flicks of the joystick, my cursor moves across the screen to pick a bulky pile of lava and bones. A deep, triumphant roar echoes through the room when I press down on the controller.

I look over to see Cadence smirking at the screen.

“Of course, you go for Bone Turtle.”

“Oh, you know the play?” I ask, shifting her attention to me.

“I know how wrong you are,” She retorts and widens her smirk.

What? What the fuck could she possibly know? I got my kart combo from Game Hypothesis, the internet’s most trusted source for completely infallible information.

“You say that so confidently that I’m second-guessing myself now.”

Cadence just chuckles and returns her attention to the screen. She moves her cursor across the screen to pick…Turtle Troopa.

What.

A soft chuckle brings me back to the real world.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.”

“You’ll see.”

I roll my eyes and focus back on the screen. I go for my usual kart combo: a white and orange bike body with jet-like wings protruding from either side along with a bulge in the middle of it, tiny red wheels, and a pair of clouds with a big happy smile on them for my hang glider.

Focusing my attention on Cadence’s picks, I cock an eyebrow and let my mouth go slightly agape when I see that she’s picked a thick, yellow, metal pipe frame with small azure wheels and a white and pink model plane as her glider.

What? High acceleration and handling, low speed and weight? I tried that combo back in, like, the Vii era games, and again when I first got my NX.

It doesn’t work here.

I turn to look at her again.

“Really? This?”

“Are you doubting me?”

“Ehhhh, a little.”

She leans forward a bit.

“Alright, pick a course,” I say, still leaning back in my chair.

“You can pick.”

Here we go. My resolve is shitty enough to know where this is going.

“You’re the guest.”

“Whose castle is this?”

I roll my eyes and smirk.

“Holy shit, fine. Excitebike Arena it is.”

The big “OK!” button disappears from the screen and fades into a checkered background.

I look over to see Cadence take a short swig of water and almost slam the bottle back down on the desk. Her expression remains flat throughout the entirety of it.

I lean forward briefly to grab a hoof full of pretzels from the bowl before leaning back and popping one in my mouth.

A guitar riff draws my attention to the middle of the screen. I press “A” and both cameras on either side of the screen swing around to finally show our racers from the back.

A yellow turtle creature sitting on a yellow cloud with a fishing rod in hand descends from the heavens above and raises their free hand.

3…

2…

I start holding the “A” button.

1…

GO!

I frown as Cadence’s beginning boost somehow lasts longer than mine, pushing her to second place instantly if my glances at her side of the screen are any indication.

Eh, it’s fine. I’ll catch up.

The sound of glass shattering and revving engines fills our ears as Cadence picks up her first item box. A trip down to the slot machines later, she lands a green shell, and I spy the shell closely trailing behind her kart as if it were attached by a short tether.

Glass shatters again and my kart comes abruptly to a halt when a red shell hits it without any warning.

What the fuck.

I sigh and let my shoulders drop.

Come on, come on, something good!

A banana. Fucking great. That would’ve been useful about half a second ago.

When my kart gets going again I notice I’m in tenth place, and Cadence is in the lead.

Again, I’ll catch up.

Several dirt mound jumps, booster pads, mud slicks, and a naturally faster kart later, I’m in second place, closely behind Cadence with a mushroom in hand.

Just as I see her hop another small dirt mound, I press “L” and rocket forward to jump off the same mound not a heartbeat later.

When we land and exhaust our small boosts, there’s a brief second where our two karts meet. We’re both traveling at the same speed for a significant amount of time for a Kario Mart game, with no obstacles or items in the way.

But that split second doesn’t last forever. Just before we go into the second curve to loop back around to the finish line, Cadence’s cart inches forward just a smidge. And then another smidge.

And then another smidge.

She’s faster than me. How the fuck?

“You’re faster than me,” I mutter, my mouth slightly widened in disbelief. “How’re you faster than me?”

All I get in response is a light chuckling.

I lean forward.

We both drift along the curve, careful to dodge the mud piles and build up our boost as much as possible. Coming out of the drift, we both end with a red boost. Letting go slightly before Cadence, I rocket ahead of her as the finish line of the first lap comes into view.

But, just as I’m about to cross it, Cadence slowly and elegantly passes me, taking first place for the first lap.

“How the fuck are you faster than me?” I cry in disbelief.

She cackles.

Holy shit.

A red shell hits me and I tighten my grip on the controller before forcing myself to let go.

This is not how I expected this to go.

Another red shell slams into me.

“Fuck this! From where?!”

Cadence just laughs again.

“You wanna restart and we can pick different carts?”

I shake my head.

“Nah, nah, I’ve already picked this cart and I’m sticking with it. I’m fucking beating you today if it’s the last thing I do!”

“AAAaaaaugh, why?!” I cry out while chuckling. A blaring alarm emanating from the TV pierces the room and my very soul before a spikey blue shell flies up above me and slams down into my kart, creating a huge explosion.

“Again? Really?” I say quietly and let the controller flop into my lap and let myself fall back into the chair.

Cadence just cackles again and I try to suppress my laughter with a disapproving look towards the screen and a frown.

Keyword: try.

A few small chuckles end up being barely audible from my throat since I have my lips sewn together.

A short, high-pitched blaring noise plays out before quickly descending to a lower tone as “FINISH!” flashes onto Cadence’s half of the screen.

Meanwhile, I watch the number on the bottom left of my screen quickly and steadily climb as the other racers pass me before I can get back up to speed.

1st.

2nd.

5th.

8th.

I sigh when my kart finally passes the checkered line and the same bold yellow words appear on my half of the screen.

“Well, that is quite unfortunate.”

“It’s alright, you almost won this time.”

“D-don’t fucking patronize me!” I nearly shout while pointing a hoof at her before both of us break down into laughter. I simply shake my head all the while.

“Currently malding,” I mutter when our laughter dies and she giggles again. Like how you just let a small breath out of your nose when something tickles your funny bone.

“You wanna go again?” She asks and I sigh again before looking up to the ceiling.

I don’t, I ain’t having fun anymore.

Quickly, I glance over to look at her wide smile before glancing away and letting my eyes wander for a moment.

She definitely looks like she’s still having fun and I don’t want to take that away from her. How often would she even get to do this, as a Princess and a revered Goddess? I haven’t even seen her with any of her friends…but I guess that's because of my existence that she can't exactly invite any of them over.

Even so, should I say as much to her? She’s clearly de-stressing from earlier with this…maybe she already knows. Who knows? Not me.

‘Do not think you’re alone in this. If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to bring them to any one of us. We have already bared the burdens that you are about to be thrown into.’

Yeah, I don’t think Luna’s words apply here. Something as trivial as me having fun in video games is not at all comparable to the burdens of immortality.

I bring my gaze back to focus on her.

“D-do you wanna go again?” I ask.

“I’m asking you.”

“And I’m also asking you. If you’re still down for another round then let’s go.”

“Mezzo, come on. If you’re not having fun then we should do something else.”

“No, really, let’s go again.” Quickly, I bring my controller back up and immediately press “A” thrice to pick a cup, course, and start the race.

A feeling akin to a thousand tiny needles pressing into my skin from all directions washes over me as I desperately try to maintain my focus on the game.

After a long moment, the track preview fades onto the screen and the feeling dies down…somewhat. Tentatively, I glance at Cadence out of the corner of my eye and catch her doing the same with a frown.

Caught in the act.

“Really, I’m down for another game. You don’t need to worry,” I say smirking.

At least, I hope that’s what it looks like.

Another heartbeat later, she sighs, smiles a little, and presses “A”.

3.

I turn my head back to the screen.

2.

I press the “A” button down.

1.

But I’m caught off guard this time as two blaring alarms play this time, not just one. The ringing from my phone on the wooden desk harmonizes with the starting signal for the race into a momentary cacophony.

Quickly, I press plus.

“Shit, sorry. Who the f-” I say as I bring my phone up to my face.

It’s Celestia. Why is she calling me?

I tap the green button and bring it up to my ear with a hoof.

“Hello?”

“Mezzo?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are you right now?”

“Playing Kario Mart with Cadence, why? Did I forget something?”

“Spellcasting lessons?”

My lips drop a thousand feet into a black abyss known as a frown. Oh, hey look, my stomach just threw itself down there as well! How wonderful!

Fuck.

“Oh right! Fuck!” I exclaim, standing up. “Sorry, I’ll be right there!”

“I’ll be waiting in the usual spot.”

“Alright, sorry again. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Who was that?” Cadence asks as I walk over to turn off the NX.

“Pr-er Celestia, I’m late for spellcasting.”

Fuck, fuck fuck! How the fuck did I forget! Cel-Lun-DAMMIT! I can’t even pick one!

“Oh right! I’m sorry, Mezzo, I should’ve realized.”

I cock my eyebrow at her as I strap my phone holder around my shoulder.

“What? This ain’t your fault. I’m the one who set an alarm and should’ve heard it go off. How the fuck did I not hear it?”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” She says as I take a final swig of my water bottle and slam it back down on the desk. “She’s very understanding.”

I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

Obviously.

“Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that I’m late and should’ve realized.”

How the fuck did I not hear it? It should’ve gone off! 5 P.M. right after day court. That’s it!

I grit my teeth for half a second before I force my jaw to relax. I take a deep breath as I nearly rush for the door.

Wait.

“Do you wanna come with me?” I call back to her.

Eye contact, dumbass.

I whirl around.

“I have something I need to do first, but I’ll join you in a bit.”

I nod before throwing the door open.

“Hey!” I call out.

Pant

“Sorry again.”

Pant

“Thanks for waiting for me.”

Pant

Over the course of a minute, I continuously break into small bursts of speed in an effort to get closer to Celestia.

“It was no problem,” she says, smiling. A bitter breeze makes me shiver as it sweeps over my back and I spread my wings out a little to catch it.

I sigh. Good shit.

“I must’ve looked like a fucking psychopath to everycreature I ran past.”

Now it’s Celestia’s turn to sigh as she puts her phone down and readjusts her hooves.

“Mezzo?”

“Yeah?”

“Sit down for a moment, please?”

I sit down with her underneath the tree.

“You need to get a handle on your cursing habit.”

Oh, this again? Wait…no way they don’t tell each other anything and everything, right?

“While we may not mind it, there are those in public that will. You will need to get control of that so it cannot be held against you.”

I sigh.

“Yeah, I know. I honestly forgot until you brought it up again just now. Did Luna bring it up with you?”

For an almost imperceptible amount of time, Celestia…stops moving. I know it’s not a very good description since she isn’t exactly moving in the first place but there really isn’t a better way to say it. She sighs again.

“Yes, she did, but the point does still apply.”

“I know, I know. I know you’re right, it’s just gonna take a lot to break it.” I say as I let my gaze fall to the soft grass and sigh.

Damn, it’s just a sigh fest today, isn’t it?

After a moment of silence: “Just, please try and be more mindful of it. Thinking about your thinking-”

“-changes your thinking. I know.”

Wait, I just interrupted her. Fuck! You dumb fucking four-legged…GAH! I don’t even know! And there I go, cursing again! How am I gonna f- stop myself from saying those things if I can’t stop myself from thinking them?

“Sorry, I just tell myself that all the time. I shouldn’t expect you to know that.” I say, casting my gaze down for a second.

“It’s quite alright, you clearly have a lot on your mind.”

I chuckle humorlessly and smirk.

“True. Anyway, spellcasting.”

Celestia nods. “Yes. To start for today, you’re just going to try channeling your magic again.”

My breath hitches for a moment and a few butterflies start to flutter in my stomach.

“I will have a shield spell ready this time in case anything goes awry.”

I nod. “It shouldn’t but good idea. Channeling was fine last time, it was just when I tried to cast it was when I f- died.”

It’s fine, Celestia’s got me, it’s fine. Dammit, fuck off butterflies! And hey look, I’m cursing again! I take a deep breath.

“Mezzo, if this is too much for you ri-”

“No, no, I’m fine, just gimme a moment, please.” I bring a shaky hoof up to my brow to wipe it and take another deep breath.

I can focus on worrying about that later. Just tackle it one problem at a time. Right now, focus on spellcasting.

“Right, I’m good now. Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” She replies, smiling.

“N-no, I mean for interrupting you again.”

“That is also fine.”

Sure.

“Alright, ready?” I ask. I nearly lose my concentration when a radiant golden glow from Celestia’s horn captures my attention. She nods.

“Ready when you are. Remember, clear your head and delve into your heart.”

I nod and close my eyes.

Clear my he-bum bum.

Worry about cur-bum bum.

Gotta stop inter-bum bum.

Cadence deser-bum bum.

I have to stop myself from clenching my teeth.

Bum bum

I see it again. The cloud layer. The clouds are visibly thinner in the place where the geyser erupted from last time.

Ever so slowly, a thin stream of blue crawls out from the thin cloud layer, snaking its way upwards into the sky like a double helix.

A small pain makes itself known in the back of my mind, but it’s small enough for me to brush it off.

It ain’t the pressure like last time so I think it’s fine.

Right? Right?

The pain starts to grow.

Yeah, fuck this!

As quickly as the geyser recedes, I throw my eyes open and grab my head with a hoof, panting. I quickly look up to my horn to see a few sparks of magic sputtering out of the fading magic stream like my breathing after a mile-long run.

“Are you okay?” I see Celestia ask out of the corner of my eye. Tentatively, I nod and take a deep breath.

“Yeah, just felt like I was gonna explode again.”

She nods. “Let’s take a short break. Cadence should be here in a minute or two anyways.”

I nod and take another deep breath before sprawling myself out on the grass. I cross my hooves in front of me and rest my head on them, simply focusing on my breathing and the soft breeze still permeating the air around me.

This sucks. Why can’t I just fuc-get it? It can’t be this hard, right? Foals do this shi-all the time. I’m just fuc-

I clench my teeth before sighing again.

-defective.

This is going to be a nightmare to break.

“Hey.”

I throw my head up as my entire body clenches for a moment.

Pink. It’s just Cadence staring down at me.

I sigh in relief. “Fuck, you scared the shit outta me.”

Her giggles sound like a soft melody and she smiles. “Sorry about that. How’d it go?”

“We’re taking a break right now, I almost blew up again.”

“You would’ve been fine regardless,” she starts, walking around to lay down next to me. “Celestia is one of the best spellcasters in the entire world, right next to Twilight. You’re in good hooves.”

I nod. “Yeah, I know, it’s just an irrational fear. One of the few things I can’t logic my way out of, unfortunately.”

“At least you can recognize that.”

“But it doesn’t seem to help at all.”

“Come on, just try it one more time. If it doesn’t go over well then I’ll convince Celestia to postpone today’s lesson.”

“What? No. I want to get this, I just don’t wanna die while doing it.”

I will get this. It’s supposed to be easy! Simple! No fuc-way I’m having trouble doing what a FOAL CAN DO!

I have to stop myself from clenching my teeth again and I settle for pursing my lips.

“Alright, I’m ready,” I say as I stand up. Cadence follows suit and we walk over to where Celestia is once again dragging the tip of her hoof across the screen.

Signing something? Maybe.

“Hey, ready to go again?” I ask and she flicks her head up.

“Oh, yes, one second.”

I nod and sit down for a brief moment. I let my gaze wander until a soft click brings my attention back to Celestia.

“Alright,” she starts, charging her horn again. “Just do what you did last time. Take it slow and stop when you feel signs of trouble.”

I nod again and close my eyes…only for them to flutter back open as I feel a warmth spread out from my back. I look over to my right to see Cadence smiling down at me with a wing across my back, her flowing mane just barely out of view.

She nods.

I let out a shaky breath and close my eyes again.

Bum bum

There’s the cloud cover. The quiet whir of wind fills my ears.

I feel a small pressure in my head as the small blue stream hits the bottom of the cloud cover.

What? No, don’t panic.

I focus on the warmth I feel around me. It’s enveloping me like a big comforter in the middle of winter near a fireplace. That warm, cozy feeling that sends a small shiver down your spine.

Slowly, the blue stream slides out of the cloud cover again. Slower this time and slightly more…wait, it moved.

The stream just changed course. It’s now traveling upwards at an angle.

I focus on the warmth again, how it spreads out across my back and my entire body.

The stream moves again.

Alright, let’s keep going.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I let the stream travel up into the sky and past my line of sight where my eyes are forced open. I’m panting slightly. Ignoring that, I bring my gaze up towards my horn to find it glowing a brilliant deep blue, like a shining beacon piercing the heavens.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes again.

Alright, step one: done. Step two: let’s go.

Slowly, I let the stream from my horn reach out into the air with all the gracefulness of a filly flinging a jump rope around. When the stream gets close enough to the grass, it seems to get pulled at an angle towards the grass. More specifically towards the tree.

It weaves around a massive golden glowing equine form and latches onto a small brown beacon. It’s not very noticeable or remarkable at all, but it’s there. And my magic can clearly see it.

With as much precision as I can muster, I guide the thrashing end of the stream to a careful point where it sinks into the brown beacon.

“Alright, now what?” I whisper. After a brief moment of silence, Cadence whispers back.

“Just imagine the stick floating up into the air and it will follow.”

I nod and start to physically bring my head up with the stick as I imagine it floating. And just as slowly as I imagine it going, the stick floats up into the air.

I’m doing it. I’m DOING IT!

My mouth widens in disbelief.

“Well, that’s happening,” I whisper.

“Yes,” Celestia responds quietly. “How does it feel?”

“A lot better. It’s like I can tell it to do anything and it’ll listen.”

Cadence brings a hoof up to her mouth to muffle a chuckle. “Not exactly, but it will follow however you imagine it to move.”

I nod and the stick follows.

“You don’t need to physically move your head to move it, you only need to imagine it,” Celestia says.

Slowly, the stick drags its way through the air. I imagine it rotating and it rotates. I imagine it going up and it goes up. I imagine it bonking Celestia on the head and-

“You better watch yourself,” she says with a scowl after dodging her head out of the way. The scowl breaks down into a smile when I laugh.

I imagine the stick flinging across the sky like a swo-

“OW FUCK MY ASS!” I cry as my horn dissipates and the stick drops to the ground. I grip the base of my horn and fall backward as thick needles of pain shoot their way throughout my body.

My head starts throbbing.

“Are you okay?”

“What happened?”

I let out a grunt. “I don’t know,” I say breathlessly. “What the fuck?”

“Relax for me, Mezzo,” Celestia says. “I’m going to cast a healing spell and I need you to stay still.”

“Relax? Kinda dying right now,” I say quietly before letting out another grunt and rolling over as another wave of pain crashes through me. But a pair of hooves on my torso pull me back over to face towards the sky, causing another pang to rocket through me.

“OW, fuck, really? Why’d you-ooooooooh.” I let out a groan as I feel an even greater warmth than before spread out from my horn, sending the sharp needles and crashing waves back to the depths of Tartarus where they belong.

I can’t help but pant briefly once the pain fully recedes into nothing but phantoms.

“Thanks for that,” I say breathlessly into the sky.

“No problem.”

“Do you know why that happened?” Cadence asked as she walks into my line of sight.

Heh, she’s sideways.

“No,” I reply instantly. “I don’t remember hitting my head on…” …anything. No, that’s a lie, yes I do.

“No, that’s a lie. I accidentally slammed my phone into my horn when I was waiting for you earlier this afternoon.”

Cadence cringes, almost violently so. “Oh no, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I thought I was fine when the pain dissipated.”

Cadence just shakes her head. “No, it takes a long time for the pain to fully go away after hitting your horn, even if you can ignore it. I had to learn that the hard way as well.”

I cock an eyebrow. “Really? How long does it usually last?”

“Depending on the severity, anywhere from an hour to a day or two.”

My eyes widen. “Two days?! Fuck me.”

“If you ask nicely, we just might,” Cadence says, winking.

“Shut the fuck up!” I shout and Cadence cackles.

“Language,” Celestia pipes up.

I sigh and bring my hooves up to my face. “Right, sorry.”

“Anyway,” Cadence starts, smiling. “You did it! You actually did levitation!”

I smirk and bring my hooves down. “Yeah, I did what every foal in the history of the entire world has done, thank fu-”

“Oh, come on, you can at least be proud of yourself.”

“Yeah, proud of myself for becoming slightly less defective.” I sigh and bring my hooves back up.

Now I’m starting to sound like an unappreciative fucking assh-

I clench my teeth.

“Now I just gotta learn more spells, fix my cursing, get my stammering under control, w-” I cut myself off.

“And we’ll be right here alongside you,” she says with as much enthusiasm as she can muster.

I sigh again.

Yeah, if I can stop getting in my own way.

Chapter 12: Anticipation

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 13: Fulfilled Promises

My eyes are completely glazed over at this point. I let out a breath as I scooch myself to the side to allow my phone to block the sunlight pouring into my room. The muscles in my hoof are a little strained from scrolling for the…I don’t even know how long, but I don’t pay it any mind.

United Alliance of Nations news, UAN politics, Equestrian politics, the new tax bill, NX news, and dumb memes all fly by my face like an unstoppable torrent wreaking havoc, also known as me whenever I fly. The only thing that can stop me is-

DRZZZT DRZZZZT DRZZZZT

My hoof flies to slam the “Snooze” button at about 20% of the speed of light. With as much care as I can muster, I let my phone plop onto my chest before taking a deep breath and rubbing my eyes.

Damn meeting. Fucking meeting. What time is it?

I squint as I bring my phone back up to my face.

9 A.M. I got time.

I chuckle.

Me when I got time.

The smile quickly fades from my face as I go back to mindlessly scrolling through Tweetbook. The entire room is silent save for the faint whir of the A/C in the background. There’s no shuffling of paper, no clickity-clack of a keyboard, or even the ruffling of bed sheets.

Just scrolling.

And more scrolling.

And more-

DRZZZT DRZZZZZT DRZZZZT DRZZZZZZZT

I grit my teeth as my hoof slams into my phone a bit harder than I was intending before taking another deep breath.

Again? What the f-nope. Cursing. Gotta cut down on that. Anyway, it should be a nine-minute delay, why’d it go off already? No way-

9:09 A.M.

Sighing, I almost let my phone slide out of my hooves but a small vibration stops me.

Twilight: Mezzo, please arrive a little early to discuss how the meeting will proceed.

Are you fuc-I don’t want to-Calm down! Grow up, you foal!

I let my phone drop onto the bed and take several deep breaths while hiding my face in my hooves.

Just calm down, calm down. I can break down later. For now, I just gotta get through this meeting. Alright, let’s go.

With a titanic effort rivaling the amount of effort I put into playing a round of Super Smash Brawl, I swing my hooves out of my bed and make my way into the bathroom. An intense feeling of cold and longing permeates by being all the while.

I grab my toothbrush and get to work.

Sweet Celestia, I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I haven’t gotten this stressed since college. Though, in college, I at least had a set end date for when the stress and anxiety would end. I guess it’s just a matter of time until I figure something out but…I just want to be done with it. Maybe tonight in the shower I can brood for a while; figure everything out.

Yeah, I’ll do that. Just gotta get through the meeting.

I take a deep breath after spitting out the fluoride and saliva concoction floating around in my mouth.

So, now what? Should I dress up or just do the bare minimum? I already showered last night so…I think I can just get away with doing gel in my mane again and some cologne since it’s not like I have regalia or something to put on. Yeah, sure, easy. Just gotta be careful that I don’t pull all my hair out when I put the gel in.

Once I’m finished, I quickly wash my hooves and walk back into the bedroom, my gaze landing on the nightstand for a brief moment before I shake my head.

Nah, I think I can go without my phone. It’d just be more to worry about.

With pursed lips, my brisk trot turns into a near gallop as I throw the door open to go down the hall to the meeting room. Wherever that is. Guess I should ask. So much for ignoring my phone.

I whirl in place and go right back into my room, ignoring the piercing gazes I can feel from the castle staff.

Just ignore it. Think of something else.

Now, I heard there was a secret chord…

My back hoof seems to vibrate at an almost impossible speed. Almost reminds me of a magic construct jacked up on nitro.

I smirk at the thought, but it immediately dies.

I can hear them talking in there. And I’m out here, waiting for my cue. Normally I’d appreciate a dramatic entrance, but not when I’m left alone with my nerves and rampant overthinking.

This sucks!

A cold sheen of sweat makes itself known on my brow and I comb a hoof through my mane before rubbing my eyes. I blink several times before allowing a sigh to escape my lips.

This is it. Cat’s outta the bag once I get called in. Well, sorta outta the bag but whatever; semantics, who cares.

“Come in, Mezzo!” Twilight’s muffled voice calls out to me.

Oh, thank Luna! Actually, it’d be more apt to say “Thank Twilight”, wouldn’t it?

I roll my shoulders, crack my neck, straighten my posture, and press a hoof up to the door and push. With the faintest of creaks, it swings open and I walk inside.

A series of four consecutive gasps assault my ears, causing them to flick and my muzzle to scrunch up slightly. My eyes immediately lock onto the griffin on the far side of the large conference table leaning on the table next to Twilight with straightened golden front claws. Her beady orange eyes bore into me as if her gaze alone could dissect me if she only held it for long enough. Her beak is slightly parted and her silver feathers laced with gold just barely peek through the vibrant magenta cloak she’s wearing with a small star pendant hanging from around her neck.

On the far right side of the room, anything blocking the view of the flat wall had been pushed aside in favor of a magic screen that folded down from the ceiling that radiates a dim blue light reminiscent of my laptop when I don’t have night shift turned on.

The projection itself holds two ponies: Luna and a light blue changeling with deep purple monochromatic eyes that seems to accentuate the dark green carapace hidden underneath her wings. The pink and aquamarine cloak along with the small blue heart pendant draped over top helps to lend an air of familiarity to everything.

I notice an empty seat next to Cadance on the far left end of the table and the silence in the room is palpable as I make my way over to her. A small colony of butterflies starts to make their presence known in my gut.

You all really just gonna let them gawk?

“Well, this is certainly unexpected,” A curt male voice makes itself known to the left and my gaze passes by Celestia before it lands on him. The muted turquoise hippogriff sits with an ashen gray mane and tail with a sizable silver moon pendant hanging from around his neck, seemingly draped over the black and silver accented cloak he’s wearing.

Finally, next to Cadance, I let myself fall down into the tall faux leather chairs.

“Hey,” she whispers, smiling down at me.

“Hey.”

Directly across from me, next to Celestia, sits a pony with his light orange hooves drawn across his chest, his expertly combed bright green mane just barely hiding his horn. The bright yellow and white cloak he’s wearing seems to ruffle ever so slightly against the sizable sun pendant hanging from around his neck.

“We did warn you,” Celestia’s soft voice speaks up, drawing his attention.

“It is one thing to hear it said aloud. It is entirely another thing to see it for myself.” He then turns his attention back to me.

“Apologies, Your Reverence, where are my manners? My name is Archbishop Ashen Light.”

What did he just call me?

“Archbishop Sky Blast, at your service,” the silver griffin speaks up, her voice level and calm in a way that reminds me of a soft breeze on a warm day.

I was prepared for the entrance and how to deal with them, but not this! And I’m gonna have to get used to this?!

“I am Archbishop Burning Monolith. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Well, there’s the guy with the stick up his ass. Butt. Whatever.

And an extended moment of silence permeates the room for what feels like an eternity before Cadance softly clears her throat.

Damn, I didn’t think it’d last that long.

A barely audible sigh escapes from the screen on the far side of the room, drawing everyone’s attention. The border around the light blue changeling’s camera lights up as they start speaking in a way that reminds me of someone who’s on their last straw. So, in other words, my sister whenever she’s angry.

“Archbishop Quiet Tempest, if you must know, Your Reverence.”

“Please excuse her, she’s not normally like this,” Archbishop Ashen Light says.

Really? Sure, whatever.

“No worries, I’m Mezzo Harmonic,” I say, nodding.

“Forgive me, but some of my higher-ups have been scrambling to explain to the press and badgering me to explain to them where Princess Cadance has been all this time. I assume you are the reason?”

“I think that’s a good place to start,” Celestia interjects. “A little more than two weeks ago, Mezzo was the subject of a large concentration of magic that ultimately led to his ascension, but we do not currently know why he was chosen for such a role in the first place.”

“And we’re certain that this isn’t just another fake ascension attempt?” Archbishop Ashen Light asks, to which Celestia nods.

“Yes, Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight’s interview-”

Interrogation.

“-of Mezzo was conclusive. He is the first newly ascended in five centuries. As this is an unprecedented turn of events, we’re here to discuss how to move forward.”

The sinking feeling in my stomach widens by a few inches. I think it’d be fair to classify it as a sinkhole now.

This is all my fault, why did I have to ascend? I’m just making their lives that much harder! Heh, I think that like I had any control over it.

“Let’s start with what actually happened. Mezzo, if you would?” She asks, turning her, and by extension everyone else’s attention, to me.

“Give my recount of events? Sure, should I give the long or short version?”

“The short version, if you will.”

Alright, but should I use their titles? I mean, I assume so but, they asked me not to, right? Uhm…

I go to open my mouth to ask Cadance, but something stops me. An invisible brick wall in the back of my throat restricts my speech. I want to say something to clarify. Anything.

I have to stop myself from clenching my jaw.

“Uhh, was doing a gig at a wedding, I’m a gig musician. T-the song got disrupted, I tried to continue it as best I could, I started glowing and feeling really hot, and then I woke up in some, like, L-LSD trip or something. It was a t-tropical island and Twilight was there but not really.”

I ignore the swarm of butterflies attempting to claw their way out of my gut and let my gaze fall to the table.

“She led me to a…uhm…how best to describe it? A crater in the sand that held a version of me sitting in the center of it. She then had me draw a grid in the sand around the c-crater and then this blue liquid, like, pooled into the grid. Then I flew up towards the sun but after a pillar of light scorched me, or at least, that’s what it felt like, I woke up in the m-middle of the Western Settlement with a crowd around me. That’s when two Priests showed up and, well, I’m sure you know the rest.”

“Thank you for your recount, Mezzo,” Twilight says with a smile. But another soft voice right next to me draws my attention.

“Hey, next time, try to use our titles. We might not care, but the Churches do. Especially Archbishop Burning Monolith,” Cadance whispers.

With a second titanic effort from me that day, I repress a sigh and clenched jaw to a short breath from my nose.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

You stupid fucking idiot, speak! Just speak, dammit! Wouldn’t have happened if you just spoke!

“Is the public really going to accept this?” Archbishop Sky Blast asks. Twilight shakes her head.

“We’re not entirely sure. While we’re sure that we can mitigate the worst repercussions with simply our word of support, online misinformation is rampant and the breakaway movement is going to muddy public discourse with whatever they can.”

“Absolutely,” Celestia speaks up. “While we obviously cannot directly control the actions of every creature online, what we can do is be as direct and clear as we can. Which brings us to the next point of discussion. We will be having a press conference to reveal this information to the world two days from now at 10 A.M. in the press room down the hall.”

Fuck.

“So that means leaving virtually nothing up to interpretation.”

Are you kidding me? I really should’ve expected that, but come on! There has to be something better than that right? Can’t we just make a Tweetbook post saying “Hey, there’s a new alicorn, nothing to worry about!”?

“You must be crystal clear and clarify anything and everything asked of you to the best of your ability. If you’re unsure of something, ask or direct the question to one of us. We’ll know the answer.”

I take a deep breath.

No, of course, that’s not going to work. But still. Am I gonna have to speak? I’m just gonna stammer again! Or curse! Or both! You’d think a couple of years of gig performances would get rid of my stage fright. HA, no, this is an entirely different Tartarus!

“As a side note, Princess Luna and Archbishop Quiet Tempest will be making the trip here via magical construct tonight. We can expect them to arrive around 9 P.M. where we will be making last-minute preparations.”

Wait, if I’m going to be “revealed” to the world, then I’m no longer going to be a private citizen. Everyone will know my name…my family!

I clench my jaw.

“I already have several emails lined up to be sent out to the big news organizations once this meeting is adjourned. Now, are there any questions?”

Really?! They just had to be dragged into this! Why couldn’t this just be my problem? Now they’re just gonna be bombarded with fucking journalists and conspiracy theorists knocking at their doors. All of Mom’s friends are definitely gonna label her as part of the conspiracy now, so now she’s fucked! Sure, I want her to stop believing that shit but I don’t want her to just be alone!

That’s a special kind of Tartarus I wouldn’t wish upon anyone else.

“Yes, how much power will he have?” Archbishop Ashen Light asks, a claw supporting his chin while his elbow rests in his other claw.

“Absolutely none for right now. We had a small meeting of our own right soon after he was confirmed to determine that.”

“For right now?” Archbishop Burning Monolith repeats, to which Celestia nods.

“We cannot say how he will fare in a few decades or centuries from now, but for right now, we don’t need to worry about it.”

Archbishop Burning Monolith opens his mouth slightly in response, only to close it in a split second and lower his gaze to the table. Celestia just holds her eternal soft smile.

“So, does that mean he will not be getting his own Church as well?” Archbishop Sky Blast asks.

“Well, that’s not up to us, that’s up to the populous. The Churches were never a direct result of us in the first place,” Celestia responds.

“Oh, right,” she says, nodding.

I nearly smile and chuckle at her response.

Yeah, I’ve been there.

“Another question, if I may, Your Reverence?” Archbishop Ashen Light speaks up with his silky smooth voice.

“Yes, Archbishop?”

“Which one of our Churches is Mezzo a part of? It wasn’t mentioned in his profile.”

Celestia nods her head in my direction.

Sure, go for it.

I nod back.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

He turns his gaze to me and I speak up before he can open his mouth to repeat the question.

“Uh, I’m not a part of any of the Churches.”

I feel the entire room stop and stare at me for a second time when the words leave my mouth.

Ugh, great.

“My Mom never let me or any of my siblings participate in anything Church-related and I haven’t gotten around to fixing that since I moved out.”

I mean, that’s the truth. I don’t got anything else.

“What?!” Archbishop Burning Monolith exclaims and raises himself to lean on the table, causing me to flinch. “Son, do you understand the gravity of that? Not having the teachings and guidance of the Churches can lead one to an unholy life full of sin and treachery!”

“I mean, I haven’t ever been to prison if that’s what you’re implying.”

I think I’ve been fine without it, right?

Well, now that just makes me sound like the Uncle who sits on the couch chugging three beer bottles and eighteen croutons for dinner every night.

“The Churches are the foundational institution in this society, son. If you can’t understand tha-”

“Archbishop Burning Monolith, that’s quite enough,” Luna’s voice cuts in through the magical projection. “While we understand how you feel, there isn’t anything we can do about it at the moment.”

With a single short-lived glare directed at me, Archbishop Burning Monolith sighs and sinks back into his chair.

At least, I think it’s a glare directed at me.

“Forgive me, Your Reverences, I lost my temper. That is inexcusable.”

“It is quite alright, Archbishop, but know that we cannot afford any outbursts like that towards Mezzo in the public eye. This is stressful enough as-is for him without needing to defend himself from the onslaught of you and by extension your Church members and staff.”

Me?! You’re worried about me?! I’m not the one having to handle and organize all of this, you guys are!

“Thank you, Your Reverence. Your forgiveness is most appreciated.”

Luna smiles and nods. “Of course, Archbishop.”

Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Will my family even forgive me for thrusting them into the public eye like this? I mean, of course, they will, but still! That just makes me feel even more guilty! It’s like they have no choice but to forgive me, even when they really shouldn’t.

I purse my lips for half a second and let my gaze fall to the table.

No, I can’t keep thinking like that, it’s just toxic.

Heh, not any more toxic than my usual trains of thought.

The pit in my stomach widens a fair bit further now, making me feel almost perpetually hungry, but for what, I don’t know, as a so-cold-it’s-hot feeling of chills radiates through my body.

I just wanna go cry in the shower.

“Okay, so to recap,” Twilight starts. “In two days’ time, we’ll be having the press conference at 10 A.M. to reveal Mezzo to the world.”

“Hey, you okay?” Cadance whispers down to me, drawing my attention.

“Please have pre-written statements prepared for the press and inform your personal staff of the event, as they will also be expected to attend.”

“Uhm…” I mutter and my gaze falls back down.

“This is a very important time in our history and we cannot fail.”

“Mezzo?” She asks before I squeeze my eyes shut for a second.

“Yes, Your Reverence,” Archbishop Burning Monolith responds with a nod.

“Nothing.”

“Of course, Your Reverence,” Archbishop Ashen Light responds with a smile.

“That’s not going to work this time.”

What? She knows?

“Sure thing, Your Reverence,” Archbishop Quiet Tempest says in a dry voice.

“Uhm, I-”

“Yes, Your Reverence,” Archbishop Sky Blast repeats.

My eyes dart around, my gaze still fixated down at the table.

“Dismissed.”

Like any student’s reaction to the bell, I instantly rise from my seat.

“Sorry, I just need a moment,” I mutter before breaking into a brisk trot out the door. My mind barely registers the whirrr of the office chairs rolling on the hard carpeted floor, nor any other aspect of my vision.

I just need to get back to my room. Turn on the shower, and-

“Mezzo.”

I freeze in place at the sound of Cadance’s firm voice.

“I know you’ve got a lot on your mind. A lot that you’ve neglected to share.”

I turn around.

“I-it’s nothing, I’m fine.”

I turn back around and start walking away.

“Where’re you going?”

Should I? I mean…I’ve been with her the most these past two weeks.

“To go cry in the shower, why?”

I hear soft hoofsteps against the hard floor slowly increase in volume. When I feel her gaze eating into the back of my head, I feel something compel me to turn around to face her again…

Only to have my gaze diverted to the side and a painful stinging sensation on my cheek with a resounding SLAP!

Did…did she just…

Before I can ponder anything any longer, she puts her golden shoe back on, sits down in the middle of the hallway in front of me, and extends her arms. With a little bit of magic, I collapse down into her embrace and she wraps her wings around me, causing a cascading waterfall of warmth and heat to radiate throughout my entire body.

My breathing becomes a bit more erratic and a few shudders fly through my spine with each breath.

Wha-why? I didn’t-What did I-?

When her hoof starts making slow circles on my back, I throw my hooves around her neck and bury my face in the crook of her neck as hot tears start to bubble up in my eyes.

We spend a few minutes just sitting there while I cry into her. Her hoof continues to rub small circles on my back and she squeezes me just a bit tighter when a small wail escapes my lips, despite my best efforts.

I mean, come on. Even I’m not gonna wail in public.

“Why?” I ask, my voice muffled to a near whisper.

“It’s just like I said during the tour. My goal is to be your light through the storm, and that’s what I intend to be.”

It’s-It’s that simple?

“But, like…”

Specifically why me? Because I’m the guy who ascended for some unknown reason.

“What?”

“N-nothing, I answered my own question.”

“Mezzo…” She says, dragging my name out and causing me to chuckle.

“I know, I mean it this time.” I take a full two-second inhale and exhale for a full three more seconds. “Thank you.”

“No problem. In fact, whenever you need a hug, just come and find me. I’d be happy to help.”

Like, anytime? I can just…ask someone for a hug?

“Really?”

“Yep.”

I can’t help but sigh again. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.”

A moment of silence is broken up by my sniffle, and I briefly bring my head away to rub my nose and sniffle again.

“Ya know, I don’t know why you expected m-me to be so comfortable going to any of you about my p-problems.”

Another moment of silence and I bring my head back to her neck.

“Because most creatures already come to us with many of their problems. I didn’t think it’d be an issue.”

I can’t help but chuckle again. “Yeah, w-well, g-guess I’m really special.”

I hear Cadance chuckle as well, allowing me to smile a bit wider. “And that’s not how I tend to roll. I think I-”

Well, I clearly didn’t want to go to them…why? I just didn’t think of it? No, it crossed my mind once or twice. And yet I continued to try and think of it on my own…

“I t-tend to try and fix a solution on m-my own as much as possible before going to anyone else about it. A-and that usually means I don’t go to anyone else without the basics of a solution already thought out.”

“At what point were you going to decide that you’d tried enough and bring it to someone else?”

“Well, I’d-”

Well, I would-no, that’s dumb. I’d-no.

I-

“I don’t know. I’ve-I’ve always been able to come up with something eventually. Guess I’ve never just had t-two weeks to figure something out.”

“Well, there’s something to consider for next time.”

I chuckle again. “Heh, yeah.”

She doesn’t respond again and I simply let the silence hang in the air for the third time. After a moment, I catch myself barely smiling into the crook of her neck.

Heh, oh right. Forgot that could happen involuntarily. Damn, I am sad on another fuc-level.

“Cadance?” I ask and bring my head out to look up at her.

“Yeah?”

“C-can we just stay like this for a little longer?”

She smiles down at me and nods.

“Of course. Do you wanna go somewhere a bit more private, though?” She asks, looking around to punctuate her statement. I can only laugh in response.

“Yeah, sorry.”

Before I can move a muscle, she starts speaking again.

“Alright, just stay still, I’m going to teleport us.”

I nod. “Sure.”

I close my eyes and lower my head back into the crook of her neck while her horn charges up. For a brief moment, her ever-flowing mane whips past my nose and I catch a brief waft of something.

Honey, with a hint of cinnamon.

After I feel a small jarring sensation and hear a small pop, I open my eyes again to find myself staring down at the bedsheets.

“Your room?”

“Yep. Is this okay?”

I don’t care in the slightest where we go, as long as it’s comfortable.

“Absolutely."

“Hey, do you remember what I said about karaoke yesterday?”

And you’re gonna invite me?

“Oh no. Yeah, I do.”

“Well, I won’t force you to, but-”

“No, I’m just being dramatic to try and be funny. But sorry, I interrupted you. Go on.”

“While I won’t force you to, I think you’d have fun if you were to go. I’ll be there if it makes you feel any better.”

Heh, already appealing to my preferences? I…I actually appreciate that.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll go. Thanks for the invitation.”

“Of course. Now, for why this whole thing happened in the first place.”

What? Oh.

I sigh. “Yeah.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m really going to outlive all of them, huh? Everything I’ve ever loved and there’s nothing I can do about it?”

Now it’s Cadance’s turn to sigh.

“No, there is nothing you can do to stop it, but there’s more to it than that.”

“Huh?”

“Instead of trying to stop their deaths, you’ll find more solace in accepting their deaths and honoring their legacy. That’s why we live on after them. To honor their memory and celebrate their lives. Someone’s gotta do it, right?”

Not stopping their deaths? I mean, I wasn’t explicitly trying to do that in the first place. And honoring their memory? Yeah, that’s what funerals are for, obviously. How did I forget that? All it took was a simple perspective change, I do that all the time.

Maybe I can actually ask them what they want at the funerals? I know Assured Brush is just gonna want me to blast the Creatures Inc. movie song while chugging a full thing of whipped cream. Now that’d actually be funny.

“Thanks, Cadance.”

“No problem, Mezzo.”

Author's Note

Special thanks to Pen Creator and Neither for helping me edit this chapter! (These people are from the changing expectations discord, the one listed in the story description. Join if you wanna talk to me or any of the other psychopaths on there)

NOTE: These extra credits in the Author's Notes do NOT imply anything about the impact the other editors listed in the story description have on each chapter. I'm simply listing someone extra.

Anyway, as always:

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Not sure when chapter 14 will be done, I've got my last final this coming Thursday, and I'm planning on getting another commission done for it as well, so expect at least an extra week's delay!

Chapter 14: A Trip to the Candy Store

Author's Note

Hello, the author's note is at the top again for an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT, please read on!

Just to let everyone know, I made some changes to chapter 1, and by extension the part where I mention it in chapter 3. Namely: the unbalanced gender ratio and the wedding for the herd (which has now been changed to just a couple).

Short answer: I no longer want to take the story in the harem-esqe direction that was the original plan for this. The rest of the story will be focusing on Mezzo and Cadance’s friendship developing into something more, as has been my plan since writing the second chapter back in August of 2021. I’m just getting around to correcting it now, as I wasn’t sure of all the details surrounding changing anything (ranging from just leaving it there and not using it, to debating whether or not I wanted to keep it in case I used it in future sequels, etc.)

Long answer: my original plan for this story was to be an OC x all four Princesses story. Then during the initial planning, I cut it to two: Cadance and Luna. And now I have it cut down to one. I realized that if I wanted to tell the story I want with a character like Mezzo, I would need to take into account how feasible it would be to give him multiple partners with all of his fears and insecurities (but you’ll see more of those later). And giving him multiple partners would NOT be feasible. One is enough and since the unbalanced gender ratio was only being used to justify a harem, I’ll be taking it out of the story (although I hope it isn’t too surprising, given I haven’t re-mentioned it up until now). Though I hope you will stick with me, as we’re finally approaching the point where something beyond a friendship will start to develop.

Now, could you do me a favor and comment “The Eagle is in the Nest”? I wanna see how many people actually bothered reading this far…

Now, here's a link to Chapter 1 if you wanna see what I changed.

And now for the credits!

English lyrics translation for Drop Pop Candy by JubyPhonic
USED WITH PERMISSION!

The art has once again been done by the amazing Hoodwinked MCShelster, go show her some support!

EXTRA Special Thanks to newbie for his help with describing the song!

Anyway, as always:

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Chapter 14: A Trip to the Candy Store

Mom. Mom, Mom, Mom. Yes, again, you will be fine, you have my word. They’re just going to pick you up and fly you over here before the announcement tomorrow. You’ll see me before or after that, I don’t know yet

A sigh escapes my lips and my head falls back. Sadly, the desk chair doesn’t extend high enough to catch it.

This is like the third time I’ve spelled it out for you, come on. Guess I can’t really blame her but come on!

A ding from my phone draws my head back up.

Mom: OK sweetie, but when you type it like that it makes me feel dumb. You shouldn’t get upset from just me asking questions…it hurts.

An even louder sigh falls out of my mouth again.

I’ve just been-

I delete it.

How am I this stupid?

Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry. This has just been really stressful and I only got some reprieve from it all yesterday. Long story short, I’m going to have some heavy stuff to discuss with you guys when you get here. But that’s for later. For now, just worry about being ready for the Crown to pick you up

Another ding from my phone just makes me smile, shake my head, and roll my eyes when I read the text.

Twin Blood Relative: What time is it again?

Just scroll up! It’s not that hard! I know for a fact you’re not that dumb! You’re literally insane.

My exacerbated sigh evolves into a short chuckle.

The Crown is sending magical constructs to pick you guys up at 8 A.M. so please for the love of all that is holy be ready. That includes you, Ms. I’m-Coming!

I let out a laugh and smile at what appears on the group chat next.

Dad: That’s something that she’ll never stop saying

Older Blood Relative: House is burning down, she’s like still in the shower like “I’m coming!”

Mom: We’ll write it on her gravestone

My smile falters for half a second.

Don’t worry, I’ll make sure of that.

But I start chuckling again while typing out my message.

Her future husband be like “Honey, come down! The kids are crying!” “I’m coming!”

Twin Blood Relative: Help, im being bullied😭😭

Mom: Oh, it’s okay sweetie, we love you

Twin Blood Relative: You guys suck, I always get made fun of

I just roll my eyes.

Because we’re family, therefore I can make fun of you, no one else can. If they do imma punt them to the moon. Also, shut up! You make fun of me all the time!

Twin Blood Relative: :P

;)

And I’m leaving it there.

With a smile, I set my phone down on the desk and lazily throw my laptop open.

Alright, I got time before the karaoke, what should I waste my time doing now? Try to play a new piece?

I move my mouse over to a green, red, and yellow circle icon with a blue center at the bottom of my taskbar, but don’t click on it.

I don’t really want to put that kind of effort in right now, I’m drained.

My eyes drift over my desktop until they land on a pixelated grass and dirt cube.

Eh, lemme shoot Joystick Fiddle a text and see if he’s up for some gaming. That word has been ruined for me.

I smirk.

Hey, how’s it going? You up for some mining and crafting, brother?

After about ten seconds of staring at the screen, I put my phone back down on the desk as I lean back in the desk chair again. I tentatively move the mouse around the screen a few times and fidget for a moment before continuing again.

Well, I guess I can at least get it open if he does say yes.

I move the mouse over and double click on the block icon and-DING!

Oh, well, there we go.

Hey, it’s not going so good. I’m currently writing a short speech for my Grandpa’s funeral. You got any tips?

I feel hot spikes pierce into my skin from every angle, causing a few minuscule beads of sweat to appear in my mane.

Woah, what? Why didn’t he tell me? Sure he’s telling me now, but that’s just when I prompted him. Well, doesn’t matter now.

Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you feeling okay? When’s the funeral? Yeah, I got some tips for you, just gimme a bit to type ‘em out.

While I start to type out my message, his response comes in with a whoosh.

Take your time. No, I’m not okay, I feel like bursting into tears every moment of every day. It’s hard to think straight, I don’t know what to fucking do.

I quickly highlight and copy my message before deleting it and typing out a new one.

That’s okay, I’m here to help.

After sending it, I tap paste and start adding to my increasingly long message. But another whoosh draws my attention.

Like, how do I even prepare my speech while feeling like shit, let alone keep myself composed during it?

With a sigh, I once again copy and delete my message before typing a new one.

Ha, that’s the crazy thing; you don’t.

That’s the thing, most creatures don’t, and that’s okay. When my Mom and her sisters had to speak during my Grammie’s funeral, most of them were crying during it and had to take a moment, and that’s okay. Just you being up there is likely going to be enough to let everyone there know you care.

With a sigh, I go back to typing out my long message.

The funeral is tomorrow but I don’t know how I’m supposed to make it to then. I’m sorry for dumping this on you.

Of course, I can’t fucking make it!

Another sigh escapes me and I, for the third time, copy and delete my long message.

Now, what else can I say? How can he make it to tomorrow…continue on their legacy; just repeat what Cadance said? Nah, I don’t think he’s there yet. He’s still reeling.

Nu-uh, don’t give me that. Don’t EVER be sorry for something like that. I’m always happy to help and I’ve told you multiple times you can come to me for anything, and I’m glad you decided to tell me when I asked.

A small smile sneaks its way onto my face when I see his response come through not a moment later.

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Anyway, imma try to go to sleep now, I’m exhausted. Have a good night.

No worries, bro. I’ll get the rest of my message typed out and then you can read it in the morning. Have a good night. Message me again if you need someone to talk to. I won’t be able to make the funeral tomorrow, I’m really sorry, I wish I could but extenuating circumstances that I can’t specify right now are preventing me from doing so. But still, good luck tomorrow, I’ll be thinking of you.

Well, as much as I can be.

With a slight shake of my head, I paste my message not back into my thread with Joystick, but in a private thread with my Mom. But before I can type anything else, a soul-wrenching screech radiates out from my phone, bringing a scowl to my face and a wing to my phone screen to silence it.

Alright, well, time to get going.

I close my laptop and walk over to my nightstand while staring down at my phone cradled in my wing while the other one slowly types out one letter at a time on the keyboard. Periodically, I throw my gaze up while walking.

Hey, Joystick just messaged me to say that his Grandpa passed away and he needs help writing something for his funeral speech. I know you have more experience than I do so would you mind looking over what I wrote to him? I wanna make sure I’m not saying anything stupid…

When I get to the side of the bed, I stop typing for a moment to close my eyes and concentrate. In my mind’s eye, a small blue tendril makes its way out of my horn and encompasses the faux leather satchel, and levitates it over my neck. Once the opening is above my head, I let the magic fade and the satchel drops over my head. After a few slight adjustments, I let my gaze fall back down to my phone and press send.

With a sigh, I walk out the door and down the hall to another unused meeting room.

I’m a pretty big hypocrite, aren’t I?

But would that just make me prideful for not accepting my own advice I just gave him until I literally fell into Cadance’s embrace yesterday?

No, that’s like the one thing I can’t be. I demean myself all the time, I ain’t prideful, no. Although, I guess it’s really easy to just say tha-no: think, it’s easy to think that.

Guess I should just keep an eye on it, though. It’s not like I want to be a prideful jerk about it. Then I need to take my own advice, come on!

“Mezzo, would you like to do a song with me?” A soft voice tears me from the torrent in my head, pulling my gaze up from the floor to be met with the sight of Luna standing in front of the drop-down screen, staring back at me with two microphones suspended in her magic.

For a moment, a thick brick wall implants itself at the back of my throat, constricting the words that try to force themselves out of my mouth. But I take a deep breath and let the words tumble out of my mouth on a soft breeze.

“Uh-n-uh-no thanks, I’m good,” I stumble out with a small smile.

“You sure?”

“Come on, you’ve just been sitting there this entire time!” Cadance exclaims from the big office chair next to me.

“Sorry, I’m just…thinking,” I reply with a sigh.

“Do we need to have the same conversation we had yesterday?”

I can’t help but smile and let a small breath out of my nose. “No, I’m not that stupid. It’s not like it’s affecting me directly in any way.”

Yeah, no, I’ll go to her again if I get too hung up on it. I just hope I said the right things.

“Mezzo…” she says, drawing my name out.

No, she’s right.

I sigh.

Take my own advice. Take Cadance’s advice.

“I just…my, uh, friend texted me earlier to say that his Grandfather died and that he’s writing his speech for it and wanted tips. I just hope I said the right things.”

Damn, is it hot in here, or is it just me?

I shake my head slightly.

I can’t even be funny in my own head.

“What did you say to him?” she asks, leaning a bit closer to me and lowering her voice. It’s at this point that I hear the shifting of one of the office chairs and a big ball of white in my peripherals.

“I, uh…”

Singing? Uh…nope. Texting mom? Nope, that was after. Something about…well not taking my own advice is just one part of it. But then I actually told him that it’s okay to cry, speak from the heart if you have to, work in a joke or two to lighten the mood…other things…

“I’ll, uh, tell you later,” I start a heartbeat later. “I just need to gather my thoughts first. Let’s just get back to singing n’ shit.”

She seems to stop for a moment to peer deep into my soul, making me shrink back in my chair just a smidge. In barely enough time for me to blink, she smiles and nods.

“Also, language.” She says and smirks down at me to which I smile and shake my head.

“I will be punching you later, as well,” I reply, punctuating the end with a smirk.

Cadance just rolls her eyes and leans back.

A beautiful harmony then draws my attention, causing my eyes to flick up for a few moments to see Celestia and Luna with their eyes closed and heads towards the ceiling, holding a particularly high note in the song. With a smile I let my gaze fall back down to the floor.

I need to actually participate, wouldn’t want Cadance’s invite to go to waste after all and look like a di-jerk. Jerk. And I’d rather they not spend the entire time worrying about me.

I roll my eyes.

Heh, revelation of the century right there, buddy. It’s nothing new.

When I look up again, Celestia passes her microphone to Luna and trots back to her chair next to Twilight with a smile on her face. Then Luna swings one of the microphones back and forth in front of her.

“Any takers? I’m done for the night,” she asks, causing my eyes to widen slightly at the barest hint of a rasp in her voice.

Well, here’s an opportunity.

But when I go to open my mouth, another wall in the back of my throat forces me to cut myself off. After my teeth clench for a moment, I pry them back apart with a small breath.

“I-”

“I’ll go!” Cadance says, hopping up from her chair and waltzing over to Luna with a small grin on her face.

Oh, well, never mind, then. Guess I’m just an idiot.

After shaking my head a little, my horn engulfs itself with a blue glow and I see the tendrils in my mind’s eye snake out to the back table where our stash of water bottles is. I open my eyes and crane my neck behind me to see one of the bottles engulfed in the same blue glow and slowly levitating towards where Luna is now sitting.

I take a moment to glance at Cadance who’s busy scrolling through the song options. A heartbeat later, when I look back at Luna, the bottle is just about to come into her view. When she finally spots it, she eyes it for half a second before looking over at me. I flick my chin up towards the bottle.

“What?” she asks.

“Yo-” I clear my throat.

Irony.

“Your voice sounded raspy,” I say with a grin and some barely hidden mirth to which Luna smiles and shakes her head.

“Thank you, but I’m good.”

“Oh, well, whoops,” I say and toss the bottle back on the table with a smirk before returning my attention to the screen.

Wait…no way she knows what that song is. Actually, maybe she doesn’t even know it’s dumb weeb shit. I know I sure didn’t when I came across it when surfing NetMeTube, so…

“Oh, look, a duet,” she calls out while facing the screen with a tidal wave of sarcasm backing up her words to which I smile and start chuckling at. “And everypony else is done for the night. I guess I’ll just have to do this on my own.” She then turns around and ends her mockery with a smirk levied directly at me.

Well, there’s a better opportunity.

With a sigh and a smile, I hop off my chair and stumble over to her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

“Finally gonna join us?” She asks with a raised eyebrow as she levitates the other microphone to me.

I try to reach out with the blue tendrils again, but a small pressure in my head immediately stops me. Instead, I reach a wing out for her to drop it into.

“Uh, yeah, sorry. I’m here now. You know this song?” I ask, looking up at her.

“Yep! I’m a big fan of the NetMeTuber who originally dubbed it. Do you know it?”

“Yep, just c-came across it one day in my r-r-recommended and I’ve been vibin’ ever since.” I punctuate the end of the sentence with a small exhale from my nose.

She nods before saying, “Alright, you said you didn’t know how to sing?”

“N-not what I said but exactly what I implied, so yes.”

“Okay. First, stand up straight, stop slouching.”

Yes, you can teach me. Thank you for asking.

I raise my neck slightly, straighten my back, and take a deep breath in.

“Second, always try to go into a line with a good breath of air. You don’t need to stuff your lungs, but you should be able to get through without running out of breath..”

I can’t help but smirk at the mental image.

“It’s kind of hard to get the timing of when you should do it, but…” she trails off.

“I-is it like the feeling of musical phrases?” I ask.

Cadance tilts her head before responding. “Ehhhh, probably, if what my teacher said is true. Just try and watch when I take a breath while I’m singing.”

I nod.

“Finally, when you’re actually singing, try and sing from your diaphragm. You’ll get a fuller sound like that and have more air control.”

“Fuller?” I ask, tilting my head.

“When you sing at a higher pitch, the sounds are more distinct, smoother, and more direct in nature, like a violin tuned to perfection being played inside your throat.”

Like when I sing high, I can feel it in my head. Almost. Right?

“Mhmm…”

“When you sing lower in your range, your vocal cords pinch, and every sound you make gets a far richer tone; almost like your voice is rubbing against itself. That friction comes from the chest though; whenever you sing like that, your vocal cords kinda like strain against each other as the diaphragm forces more air through. Like a viola in an orchestra, when done correctly, your voice becomes much more than what is originally played or sung.”

Like in symphony class back in school, I remember the strings sounding like that…the lower the note, the more it’d pound and thrum in my chest. Even with my timpanis, it’d do that. It’s just the bass notes.

The bass notes!

I nod.

“Comfortably using a combination of both of those is what I mean.”

“Alright, that makes sense,” I say before trying exactly what she said again. I end up having to manually contract my diaphragm but it works.

Oh, wow, that feels incredibly weird.

“Ready?”

“Yep, go ahead.”

With an almost silent ping, the screen fades to black and big white block letters fade into view. My smile widens when short staccato notes start echoing out from the screen. It evolves into a grin when the background crescendos into an upbeat cadence and I barely take note of my hoof tapping to the beat.

“Umbrella at your side, it’s raining but you close it tight,” she sings out into the microphone with a smile on her face, bobbing her head back and forth all the while.

I take a breath.

“And how are yo-” I only have a split second to mourn when I feel a tickle in the back of my throat, forcing me to cough into my elbow.

“Well, that sucks,” I mutter, my voice being drowned out by the music while I turn around to envelop the bottle beneath my chair in my magic. When I notice Cadance miss her next line a moment later, I turn back to her.

“Keep going, one second,” I say with a grin. With a smile and nod, she picks back up where she left off.

With some extra concentration, I get the cap screwed off by the time the bottle reaches me with only a small bead of sweat on my brow to show for it.

Alright, still too weak to do much, but it’s getting there. Let’s just not try to multi-task like that again for a while.

After taking a swig and tossing the bottle onto my chair, I turn back to see Cadance still smiling, singing, and expertly hitting all the notes; even the high notes in the middle of each line and the descending progression after.

I smirk when I catch her closing her eyes and raising her chin to the ceiling slightly at one particular high note.

Alright, here comes the duet part!

Once she sings her short line, she quickly looks over to me with a smile as I draw in a breath, albeit a bit slower this time.

When the words leave my mouth, they feel as if they’re being guided by a graceful breeze out into the open air, and I can’t help but smirk at how much the diaphragm trick helps.

That’ll be one to remember.

When it’s her turn, she’s still looking at me, smiling, causing me to reciprocate. But as she sings her short part, I notice her lean down a little on her front legs.

What?

I reciprocate and sing my part with an ease that has eluded me for the majority of my life and I can’t help but widen my smirk a little more.

She then leans down, even more, when it’s her turn again, but this time she also narrows her eyes at me, still smiling.

Ohhhhhh, okay. I get it.

I reciprocate again, letting the flow of air guide the words out of my mouth, and tense my leg muscles.

“Move at the top speed of sound!” We sing out together before pushing back up and catching a millisecond of air. We’re both still smiling at each other.

I can’t help but let my jaw go slightly slack at the force of air behind all of her singing to the point where I nearly forget to sing my supporting part behind her chorus.

It may just be the equivalent of musical filler but it’s important, dammit! And there’s another curse, great.

But my own thoughts are drowned out by the thrumming of the beat inside my skull. For a single fleeting moment, the rest of the world falls away and my expression morphs into a smirk when I see Cadance bobbing her chin up and down to the beat and staring back at the screen. I almost start laughing at it, in fact, but her gaze turning towards me cuts that off.

Oh right, we’re about to do the thing.

“We’re always singing the same tune!” The buttery sound of our harmony washes over my ears and I find myself smiling ear to ear at Cadance and her doing the same back to me.

“Alright, just remember,” she starts, speaking quickly. “Sing from your diaphragm, try not to run out of breath, and take a breath after each phrase.”

I nod and turn my attention back to the screen.

“And stop slouching!”

I fail to stop a single chuckle from escaping my mouth as I straighten my back again and raise my chin. I take a breath when I hear the same short staccato notes crescendo into the next verse.

“Now falling to her side, the drops of rain that mix with light.”

“Stealing a glance, hid a cat who turns his back.”

Her words are unwavering and she neither rushes nor stumbles over any of the lyrics, allowing the music to flow freely from both of us. I glance down for a moment to see my hoof still tapping away to the beat and I start consciously bobbing my head like Cadance, still with a stupid grin plastered on my face.

I find myself subconsciously taking a breath before going into the second section of the verse as the music dumbs itself down a smidge. Our head bobbing becomes less exaggerated and the melody feels like the waves of a small pond on a breezy day.

My throat momentarily feels like a steep staircase when it’s my turn to go for the high note and I glance over to Cadance as my voice ascends up to meet the note and a sharp wave of heat permeates my body.

A small droplet of relief drops onto my head when I see that she’s still bobbing her head and smiling at me. My shoulders drop a little bit when she gives me a nod.

As I sing my first line of the next duet part, I lean down a little on my front hooves and adopt another grin. And she does the same when it’s her turn to sing her line. And then on my line, and then on hers, further and further down until we sing in unison.

“And then we’ll finally break through!”

After launching ourselves to the heavens again for a brief moment, I can’t help but let out a hearty laugh and clench my eyes shut so hard that my singing is reduced to little more than an out-of-breath stammer rather than an actual attempt at music. Cadance seems to agree, since she’s laughing along as well, creating an excellent chord with the current music.

Alright, let’s not get sloppy here. Diaphragm, breathing, posture. Diaphragm, breathing, posture.

I straighten my back.

While singing out the rest of my chorus, I glance down at my snout for a brief moment before looking at the screen.

Wow, the words are just…coming out. Flowing out without a problem. WITHOUT ISSUE! It’s almost like-

“You’re always gonna be there too,” I hear the words cascade out of my mouth.

Oh crap, we’re here now. Pay attention, idiot!

“Shining down on me you’re my blue moon,” Cadance sings out.

“Dreaming forever to find to now, I’m awake.”

“I need to find tomorrow, can you take me away?”

“And go the top speed of sound!” our voices harmonize.

The rocky hard surface of my lower octave tenor voice provides a launching bed for Cadance’s soprano voice to spring up into infinity.

“Running to another day, I wanna break away and take the leap!”

I find myself unable to tear the full-faced grin I’m wearing off my face or my eyes away from Cadance’s eyes that bore back into mine. The way her mane seems to ripple in the nonexistent wind a bit faster than before matches my rising heart rate and the subsequent hot feelings of blood rushing throughout my body.

My heart soars as my mind’s eyes seem to almost catch the physical representation of the lyrics in its grasp. For a moment, the colors of the room, of her, seem almost blindingly vibrant and I can almost see the heat radiating throughout the place, almost as if my vision is momentarily switching to infrared.

Our lyrics seem to dance around each other in an endlessly beautiful ballet. My vision narrows, my peripherals dim, and Cadance and I maintain our gazes on each other. Now the lyrics seem to bounce around each other like expert trapeze artists. Her phrases and melodies expertly weave in and out of my tenor foundation, making my smile grow even wider.

“You’re always gonna be there too! We’re always singing the same tune! Every day from now on.”

My smirk morphs into barely contained laughter as the music fades into the background, back into the short staccato notes that I know so well. But a sharp, hot feeling of needles washes over my body as the sound of hooves clapping reaches my ears and my head instinctively lowers itself. Before anything else can happen, however, Cadance pulls me into an embrace and I unsuccessfully resist the urge to bury my face into her neck.

“So, was that fun?”

I can only sigh and smile.

“Yeah, you got me. That was fun.”

“Good, then let’s do this again sometime.”

Should I? Who am I kidding, I’m not overthinking it this time. Not overthinking it is what got me here in the first place.

I nod. “Absolutely, Candy.”

Never thought Drop Pop Candy would become a recurring theme in my life. Maybe I should do the “not-overthinking” thing more often?

“What did you just call me?” She asks, pulling me away from her to look down at me.

Oh, wait…no way I said that out loud.

“Uhhhhhhhh…I d-did not m-mean for that to come out, I’m so sorry,” I sputter out, trying to pull away.

“No, no, what did you call me? Candy?” she asks, ruthlessly pulling me back in, prompting a deep sigh to escape my lips.

“Yes, I did. Happy?” I ask, giving her a look.

“Absolutely, Mezzy.”

Chapter 15: They're Finally Here Performing For You

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Chapter 16: Finally

“I know you all are eager to hear what the Crown has to say, but I must ask you to hold your questions for the end. The past two weeks have been very stressful for everyone involved.”

That was what Celestia said to start off the press conference. Before going into it, they had given me all the advice and information they could:

“You’ll be sitting behind the podium while Celestia recounts your story. Make sure you are sitting up straight and looking attentive the entire time,” Luna said, craning her neck back to look at me.

I remember nodding while maintaining my thousand-mile stare. I had shaken my head lightly before tearing my eyes up from the hallway floor slowly passing by. My gaze finally landed on Luna’s smile.

“After that, you’ll be expected to go up to the podium and answer any questions the journalists will have for you. You can skip any question you like by saying ‘No comment.’”

“They’ll all be raising their hands, so you can just point and call on them,” Celestia interjected.

I remember smiling and letting a breath out of my nose.

“Like school fillies?” I had said, my words barely muffling my mirth.

Celestia rolled her eyes, “Yes, like school fillies. Just call on one, answer their question, and move on.”

Twilight chimed in while still facing forward, her tone instantly wiping the smile off my face, “But don’t give any more information than is necessary. Since you’re an unknown, they’ll try and twist anything you say. Don’t let them. Be as clear and concise as possible.”

I nodded and let out a deep breath.

“At a certain point, one of us will move up to the podium to answer any remaining questions until the conference is over, while the rest of us, including you, will be escorted out. Any questions?”

I had taken a good five seconds to gather my thoughts.

I mean, they’ve gone over what seems like everything: how I should act, what’s gonna happen, the chain of events- so then why do I feel this pit in my stomach? It’s because I don’t know what I don’t know. And the only way to know is through experience.

I remember sighing and folding my ears back as my hooves carried me along the familiar swirling color hallways of the castle towards the press room.

They gave me as much as they could, and yet I still can’t seem to get a grip.

With a deep breath, I relaxed my jaw.

Woah, hey now, calm down.

I shake my head slightly.

I once again straighten my back and rest my hooves firmly on my lap while staring at Celestia’s backside. I take a deep breath in, a camera clicks, and I breathe out. I glance to my left at Cadance, who smiles at me briefly, and a camera clicks before she returns her gaze to the room of reporters.

I’m just going to stammer.

A camera clicks.

No. Stop.

I’m not gonna know what kind of questions they’re gonna-

Stop.

A flash of light nearly blinds me.

But-

Shut up! I’m not even paying attention to what she’s saying! How will I know what my cue is?

“Excuse me? You are Mezzo Harmonic, correct?!”

My shoulders tense up, and my vision focuses on a gray unicorn wearing a black suit and tie rushing up the stage to me, a yellow notepad suspended in his light green magic. His rate of speech seems rather impressive. Unfortunately, that’s all I have time to think about.

“I have to ask, but how did you do it? Surely the Princesses are more resilient than that, yes?”

“W-What do you m-mean?” I ask with a few grunts of indecisiveness.

“Don’t play dumb with me, buddy, I’ve-” he shouts, but before I can get another word out, he’s suddenly grabbed by two security guards from behind, one of whom whirls him around with a flick of her hoof.

“If you don’t want to be thrown out, I suggest you get back to your seat!” She yells, heaving him off the stage. The other guard, a bulky gold and white griffin, stands between the offending journalist and us for a few moments before turning his head to the side.

“My apologies, Your Highness, it won’t happen again,” he says smoothly, never taking his eyes off of the offender.

“No worries, thank you,” I say quietly with a nod before letting my head hang down. When my voice seems to pierce the room like an arrow whizzing past my ear, I suddenly become aware of how quiet it is.

Oh well. Also, not royalty. Though, I guess they don’t know that yet. Unless they do? I mean, surely they must’ve heard someth-

The sound of Celestia’s voice and camera flashes quickly ramps back up to fill my ears.

“You okay?” I hear Cadance whisper to me.

I raise my gaze to meet hers, “Huh? Yeah, just caught me off guard.”

Heh, guard.

I nearly smirk before shaking my head slightly and looking back down at the ground.

I am not funny.

With a deep inhale, I turn my head back to Celestia before exhaling and letting my shoulders drop.

Just pay attention to her. Listen. And stop slouching!

My attention lasts for about fifteen seconds before things start to drift away. I follow Celestia’s gaze as she turns her head for a brief moment to the side of the room.

Nope. Stop. She’s just trying to appear attentive.

I throw my gaze back on Celestia. I then spy a journalist in the front row of benches clacking away at his keyboard.

Gosh, typing that fast could rival my speed.

I roll my eyes.

Alright, buddy, let’s not get cocky.

Shaking my head a little, I-

“Mezzo, could you stop tapping your hoof, please?”

Luna’s whispers cut through my thoughts like those videos of hot knives cutting through ice. I lean forward, noticing Luna arched in front of Cadance, staring at me.

“Oh, sh-sorry,” I whisper and smile sheepishly.

Didn’t even realize it. Ugh.

Why in the world was I even tapping? I didn’t even have a song playing in my head!

This is not going well. Back to staring at Celestia.

As I try to burn a hole into the back corner of her head, I can’t help but notice that while all her words are reaching me, they’re simply washing over me; in one ear and out the other.

Oh, come on.

For a time, I force myself to listen to and interpret everything she’s saying.

“And on the sixteenth of this month, something unprecedented happened,” Celestia’s words rang out into the room of grey suits and TV cameras.

Sixteenth? No shot she’s just getting to my ascension. Surely I was spaced out for longer than that, no?

“No fucking way,” I mouth without a sound. With my mouth still ajar, I turn my head to look out at the sea of creatures all crowded before the small stage.

The TV cameras in the far back catch my attention. I spot a light blue and green hippogriff standing behind the one on the far left side of the room. While they maintain a single eye looking into the camera, they adjust a dial on the side of it.

For focus? Eh, probably.

While I take a moment to sympathize with the brightly-colored changeling journalist seated right below the camera’s extended lens, they slide their phone out of their strap and begin tapping away at it with their magic.

Heh. Mom, can I play games on your phone?

…

What? That’s not even relevant or funny. Shut up.

A chocolate brown unicorn dressed in a dull grey suit, seated right in front of the bright changeling, slides out their phone and raises it up to take a picture of Celestia at the podium. I follow where it’s pointing, and to my utter lack of surprise, I find Celestia still standing on the stage.

Wow, crazy. Why’d I even bother to do that?

But to my complete and utter surprise, I spy a black robe peeking out from behind Celestia. Leaning over slightly, I notice that the four Archbishops: Ashen Light, Sky Blast, Burning Monolith, and Quiet Tempest, are lined up along the wall next to the stage, just standing there.

Menacingly!

I manage to catch my smile and force it back down.

Alright, that was kinda funny.

But, before I even comprehend what I’m doing, one of their gazes flicks to the back of the room for a split second before returning to Celestia, and my gaze follows. In the back right corner of the room, peeking out from behind one of the camera operators, sits a…figure.

They’re wearing robes, that much is obvious. But, for the life of me, I can’t tell whether it’s dark because of natural shadows, the black color, or some other third thing I’m not considering. Before I can scrutinize the figure any longer, it slides back behind one of the camera operators, out of sight.

Wha-?

“Mezzo!” I hear Cadance whisper next to me.

“Hey, funny bird app guy, she’s about to call you up!” Luna also leans forward to whisper to me while wearing a small smirk.

…Huh?

“Now,” she says into the mic, raising her voice almost imperceptibly, “I will be turning the mic over to Mezzo himself to answer some of your outstanding questions.”

Oh! Sh-f-I mean…AAUGH! They are lifesavers!

“Thanks,” I whisper back with a nervous smile before I rise from my seat, take a deep breath, and stop slouching.

“We’re right behind you,” Celestia whispers as I pass her. She returns to her spot in the line of chairs behind the podium next to Luna.

“Thanks,” I whisper back quickly and, with a slight smile on my face, step up to the podium.

Damn, it’s been a while since a smile has drained from my face that quickly, huh? What does that say about the situation: screw this? That one other funny little four-letter word I can’t use right now that starts with an ‘f’? I wish I could just shout that to the heavens right now.

“H-hello, everyone. As you all heard, my name is Mezzo Harmonic, recently ascended alicorn, and I’ll be answering your questions.”

Anyway, here’s Wonder Wall.

Now that was a good one.

A grey hoof in the middle of the rows of seats on the right shoots up faster than anyone else’s in the entire room. Following the hoof down to its owner, I see the imposing journalist who rushed me earlier.

Let’s get this out of the way, shall we?

“Y-Yes, t-the grey unicorn on my right?” I say after pursing my lips.

“What do you intend to do now that control has been put in your hands?”

What the f-

“Uhm, I’m not sure, given that I-I’m not in control. This whole situation sorta happened out of the blue, and I’m still s-sort of reeling from it.”

Only sorta. Thanks, Candy.

Not half a second after the stallion lowers his hoof with a frown, the vibrant green hoof of a changeling shoots up just in front of me. I have to strain my head and eyes to look over the podium.

“Yes?” I ask, gesturing a hoof.

“Would you say that the Timberwolf you encountered in the White Tail Woods has any relation to Everfree City’s ever-expanding population?”

Wait…TRUE! I actually don’t know, but that sounds plausible.

“Uhm, that sounds plausible on its surface, but right now? I have no idea, nor do I know of any evidence pointing to such a conclusion.”

The changeling nods and goes back to clacking away at her keyboard.

Probably shouldn’t have said “plausible.” They might spin that. I shoulda just kept it to “no idea” or “no comment.” Anyway…!

“N-N-Next questionnnnn…yes, you?” I ask, gesturing a hoof to an orange earth pony in the back row with narrow, rectangular glasses.

“If there’s one thing you want the creatures of the world to know about you, what would it be? What should we expect from you, as a chosen God?”

Oh fuck.

“Uhhmm, I-uh…”

I try to force a word out: something, anything! But I feel a constriction in the back of my throat, stopping anything from coming through.

Luckily, I catch myself before my teeth clench and take a small breath.

“No comment.”

FUCK! NO! EEERRR! WRONG ANSWER!

“That’s not very reassuring.”

I take a small breath before an almost imperceptible warm and fuzzy feeling worms its way across my body.

‘It’s okay. Try again.’

“S-Sorry, I’m not very good at this. I, uh, what I’d like creatures to know about me is that I’m…a mess. I’m not a God, nor was I chosen by anyone or anything. I didn’t exactly have my life together before this, and ascension and being thrown into the spotlight really haven’t helped with that, but know that I-I’m trying my best. And luckily, I’m not alone in doing that. Thanks to the four amazing po-Princesses behind me, I’ve been able to get through this and probably more down the line. I…”

I take a second to stare down at the podium before taking a small breath.

“That’s it.”

The orange earth pony slowly nods before tapping away at his phone.

After a second of silence that felt like an average The Elder Rings: Dragon Born loading screen, a black scaly claw slowly but surely raises itself on the far left side of the room. Following the claw down, I see a black dragon with bright green horns that almost makes him look like a changeling staring pointedly at me, eyes fixed and unmoving.

“Yes?” I ask, motioning to him with a subtle flick of my chin.

He clears his throat, “Which Church are you affiliated with?”

I involuntarily give a light smile and briefly shake my head.

Here it comes. They’re not gonna like this answer.

“Uh, I’m not a-a-affiliated with any of the Churches.”

A chorus of gasps that would’ve sounded more appropriate at a circus echoes throughout the room.

Although, I guess this isn’t entirely not a circus.

“Why is that?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow. Simultaneously, he reaches a hoof up to his glasses and pulls his hoof back along its temples to reveal a pencil.

“Uhm, well it wasn’t entirely my choice, and I haven’t had time since graduating from college to get involved in any way.”

“And what do you mean by ‘it wasn’t entirely your choice,’ hm?”

“Uh-”

“I think that’s enough,” Celestia says with conviction behind me. Cadance taps me on the shoulder with a wing and motions for me to leave.

“There will be no further questions, and this press conference is now at its end. As always, please address further inquiries to the Media Relations office. Thank you.”

“Screw that,” I mutter before letting out a huge sigh, causing my entire body to heave.

“You did good,” Celestia says, smiling down at me.

“Oh, yeah, really? Like when I di-divulged my life story to that one guy? I remember being t-told to ‘keep it brief’ or something along those lines. And yet I didn’t.”

“It’s not the end of the world. What you said was positive and was surely a good counterbalance to what that other stallion was trying to imply.”

I sigh, “True. But I also screwed up in the beginning. Not sure how I even managed to salvage that.”

“Actually, that was me,” Twilight says sheepishly. “I sent out a small messenger spell to you at that moment.”

“Oh. S-So that was you saying ‘try again’ in my head?”

“Well, saying it that way makes it sound like I was messing with your mind when it was actually more a form of telepathy. It was simply a relaying of a recorded message. And some positive emotions.”

“Twilight, please speak Equish,” Cadance says in an almost begging tone.

“N-No, it’s alright, I got it,” I say quickly with a smile at her. “I can u-u-understand the message, but how’d you transfer some emotion with it?”

“Recent, or I guess, not so recent advances in changeling magic. One of my researchers made a breakthrough about two decades ago, she was the first changeling to perform such a feat.”

“Wow, that’s actually pretty cool,” I say before returning my gaze to the swirling colors of the hallway sliding past me like small waves on a beach.

Yeah, now that I think about it, that long answer I gave was fine. Probably. The Church affiliation thing, though…that might cause some problems. And the stammering, UGH! This sucks. And then the timberwolf in the White Tail Woods thing—that actually sounds plausible, though I’m not the one to do the research on that, especially not right now. And then-oh wait. I gotta mention the possible relation between the power plant and my ascension to them.

I go to open my mouth and say as much, but a constriction in the back of my throat kills the words before they can even be fully realized.

I simply frown and shake my head slightly.

Alright, then, I guess I’ll tell them later.

As we turn a corner, my eyes land on a familiar sight: the entrance to the dining hall.

“That reminds me,” I start. “Who were those two special guests you were telling me about this morning, Twilight?”

“They’re both long-time friends of all of ours, and in the spirit of the day, their names are Spike and Thorax.”

“Spike? Oh, you mentioned him the other week, right?”

“Yep!” Twilight smiles. “My surrogate brother-slash-son-slash-a-lot-of-things.”

“That complicated?” I ask with a smirk.

“Yep. We never quite figured it out.”

I nod. “G-Guess it doesn’t matter much about having a label as long as the relationship is still there.”

“Exactly.”

A moment of silence passes before my brow furrows.

Wait, but she also said…

“A-A-And you also mentioned Thorax? Isn’t he t-the Changeling King?”

“Yep! But he’s really friendly, don’t worry.”

I give an audible hum.

“He’s a real sweetheart once you get to know him,” Cadance starts. “He and Spike have been bros since they first met, and while he can get defensive over his friends, he’s a big softie at the end of the day.”

Luna chimes in, “This is very true. There’ve been many times when Thorax has gone out of his way to help us, Spike, or even Discord, whether it be with paperwork while he’s visiting or setting up a fun, welcoming party when we go to visit. He’s a fantastic friend.”

Alright, this guy sounds pretty good.

Sorta like me-

Nope. Not even entertaining that thought. This is about them.

“Awesome. And they’re here because of the, uh, press conference or something?”

“Sort of,” Celestia says. “Mostly, they’re here to see you. As with Discord, they’re excited to see another immortal ‘join the club,’ so to speak.”

“Okay, l-let’s just hope they’re not as wild as Discord.”

Even though it’s fairly obvious they won’t be.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Twilight says. “They’re nothing like Discord. Besides, Discord won’t mess with you as much as before. I’m sure of it.”

Her tone during the last sentence makes me raise an eyebrow and almost makes me stop in my tracks.

Did she-?

Nope. Definitely not entertaining that thought.

“You’re less of an unknown now,” she finishes.

Within a minute, I’m forced to actually stop in my tracks as we arrive at the door to the dining hall.

“Here we go.”

“You’ll be fine,” Cadance says, lowering a wing onto my back for a split second to accompany her smile before she turns to the door to open it.

I swallow and take a deep breath before following them in.

I smile as my gaze lands on a thankfully familiar sight, my family all sitting around the far end of the table on the left, full plates sitting before them mostly untouched. Mom’s face lights up as she sees me walking in. She rushes out of her chair, sort of bows to the Princesses as she passes them, and comes up to me to wrap me in a sitting hug.

“Ohh, honey, you did great up there! You showed those lying journalists what for!” she cries before breaking the hug to look at me.

I almost resist the urge to roll my eyes before replying, “Yeah, sort-sort of. Though, I think that question about our C-Church affiliation might cause some trouble.”

“Pffft, no,” she starts, waving a hoof dismissively. “They’re overreacting! They just don’t understand. You need to stand your ground against the status quo.” Her words seem to hang in the air for a moment like the way her dark green mane hangs to slightly obscure my vision of her.

And yet she still doesn’t understand, twisting sayings to fit her worldview. That only applies when you’re right or it’s a matter of opinion.

“But there were a few points up there where your stammering got really bad.”

I sigh, “Yeah, I know.”

“We could always sign you back up for speech therapy.”

I sigh even louder.

“I don’t want to, but I know you’re right. I’ll think about it.”

Meaning: if I convince myself enough to actually follow through.

“Anyway, food.”

“Yes, food,” Mom replies. “There’s already some on the table for everyone.” Then she leans down a little to whisper in my ear. “I already checked it. It’s safe.”

I frown, but Illustrious twists back in her chair and speaks up before I can say anything.

“Mom, stop. We all know you’re full of crap.”

She almost seems to take a step back before rising to her hooves. “Honey, I know you think you know it all, but you’re still just-”

“Can we please not do this now? If we start, we’ll never stop. Besides, we are still in company,” I point out while pursing my lips and putting my hooves out to either side of me.

Mom sighs before relaxing her shoulders. “You’re right, honey, sorry.”

“No worries,” I say, walking over to the table.

Although I guess she really should be apologizing to the Princesses-er, Alicorns, since they don’t want me to use titles.

Before I sit down, however, I find myself in a slight conundrum.

Candy is sitting down there towards the end of the table with the others, but Mom, Dad, and everyone else are up here at this end of the table.

I whip my head back and forth three times.

I haven’t seen them in a while. There isn’t a better time or excuse to be with them than right now.

But Candy!

I can sit with Candy later, my family won’t be here every day in the Castle.

But Candy!

Why am I even considering her as much as I am? The other arguments are much more solid. What in Equestria does that say about me? Do I not care about my family enough? Do I-

I give an almost imperceptible sigh.

Eh, I’d look too weird.

I take the seat right next to Illustrious.

“We’re happy the four of you could join us for lunch. I hope the Castle accommodations have been up to par?” Twilight speaks up with a beaming smile.

And this is one of the times when I’m reminded that she helps raise the Sun.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have missed this for anything. I need to keep an eye on my baby boy, after all,” my mom replies with a small smile of her own.

I roll my eyes while looking over to Cadance.

She simply nods back at me.

Before any more words can be exchanged, three rhythmic taps echo out from the sturdy and solid wood doors. Twilight then hops up from her chair, her billowing mane whipping around for a moment.

“That must be our guests. Excuse me for a moment, please.”

She makes her way over to the doors and swings them open to reveal a tall bug-like pony with imposing orange antlers that almost seem to pierce the ceiling. A spiked horn rises out of his forehead, and deep monochromatic purple eyes bore straight into Twilight’s. His purple carapace, reminiscent of a ladybug, is embedded with three small diamonds to accent his bright green chitin.

Next to him is a similarly purple dragon about two-thirds of Twilight’s height. His green underbelly reminds me of an establishing shot of a forest with thousands of trees rolling by. That thought is only accentuated by his bright green eyes, spikes, and wing poking out of his body like giant pine needles. The most eye-catching thing he wears, however, is a gold bracelet around his right wrist with small purple gems dotting its circumference in a regular pattern.

Very peculiar…

“Hey, guys!” Twilight exclaims with a bright smile, almost as bright as their color scheme. King Thorax and Ambassador Spike lean in for a big Twilight-hug as the rest of the Alicorns get up from their seats.

It’s enough to make a grown man cry! But not this man, get back in there, tear!

Illustrious leans over to whisper in my ear, “Who are they?”

I roll my eyes with a smile, “That’s Thorax, King of the Changelings, and Spike, Ambassador to the Dragon Lands.”

“Oh shit, so they’re like, important. Oh no…”

“You’re fine. Stop being so dramatic.”

Pot calling the kettle black much?

The Alicorns come back to the table with King Thorax and Ambassador Spike in tow. And gigantic smiles on their faces.

It’s enough to make-

Twilight speaks first, “Mezzo’s family, allow me to introduce-”

“DISCORD!”

Without warning, the fabric of reality swirls into a small typhoon above the dining table, slowly turning purple and then silently exploding into a sea of paper cranes.

Also without warning, my heart leaps out of my chest and makes me vomit the entirety of my organs onto the table, quickly emptying me of my viscera and letting me slide back in my chair, limp and dead. Metaphorically, of course.

“Holy FUCK! FUCK YOU!” I shout.

I DON’T CARE RIGHT NOW!

Discord just cackles and floats above the table while I point pointedly at him with my pointed hoof.

“You sound like every annoying anime character, except you actually have the power to fuck shit up! Fucking dammit!”

Alright, now I care.

With a sigh, I plop back down into my chair and let my hooves cradle my face.

“Uhm…” Silent Symphony starts.

“I’m sorry if that was too much, but I was just doing what was asked of me! What else is ‘be an icebreaker’ supposed to mean?” Discord exclaims with both of his palms facing the ceiling.

“Just a little less explosive next time, please,” Twilight says with a smile as if she’s holding back a snicker.

Suddenly, Illustrious bursts into laughter. It’s the kind of laughter that makes you break into a smile if you can’t stop yourself. Then, if you have really bad self-control, you start laughing as well.

Evidently, everyone in this room has terrible self-control.

A good two minutes pass of boisterous laughter before things start to die down. The only few laughs that remain echo out sporadically as everyone tones down, like a dying chant at a hoofball game.

“Anywho,” Discord continues before silence can start, “you may all have a seat now.” He gestures with a claw and a bow before circling in mid-air, still floating above the table.

“Certainly,” Twilight says. “Now, as I was saying, Mezzo’s family, please meet…” she trails off before someone else picks up without missing a beat.

“Hi, I’m Thorax,” he says while picking a chair next to Twilight. “I’m King of the Changelings and friend to all. Uh, also, I like…archery.”

The Alicorns smile after he tacks on that bit at the end.

“Hey, guys, I’m Spike, current Equestrian Ambassador to the Dragonlands, and I like long walks on the beach!” he says with a grin while taking a seat right next to King Thorax on my side of the table.

A small burst of air escapes from my nose, and I drag my head out of my hooves. But as my gaze crawls over to Ambassador Spike and King Thorax towards the end of the table, I can’t help but notice Cadance suddenly sitting next to me.

Ah, they took her seat. Kinda sad, but also, YES! Never punished.

“Hey, I’m Adapting Current. I work as an engineer for Horizon.”

“Ohh, yo, that’s pretty cool,” Ambassador Spike says. “Has Twilight mentioned her lab yet? I think you’d like in there, it’s like candy land.”

“Can confirm, it’s really a spectacle in there,” I chime in.

My dad simply nods before turning his head over to his wife. Mom looks as if she exerts significant effort to tear her gaze down from the ceiling.

“Oh, uh…hi, I’m Flair. I’m a fashion merchandiser.”

“I’m Silent Symphony. I hate music, believe it or not,” he says as dryly as possible.

“That’s a joke! That’s a joke,” Mom hastily says.

“Yo, I’m Illustrious. I’m a professional photographer.”

“She’s also a gamer, like me,” I butt in. “Hi, I’m Mezzo, a hardcore gamer boy.”

“Not gonna have another outburst?” King Thorax asks.

“Hey, l-listen here, buddy, I was caught off guard. N-Normally I wouldn’t go around shouting curse words because of e-extenuating circumstances, but this was an exception.”

“Sorry, that was too much in hindsight,” Discord says, his voice echoing downward, much like his frown.

“Yeah, it’s fine. It actually p-pisses me off a bit, but that was kinda funny, I’ll-I’ll give you that.”

“Ha, I’ll take it!”

I just shake my head with a smile and turn my gaze back toward Ambassador Spike and King Thorax.

“So w-why did you want to see me only after the press-press conference and not, like, during, or something?”

“Well, first off,” King Thorax starts, “you don’t meet people for the first time during a press conference if you can help it, too many unknowns. But, more importantly, we wanted to meet you off the record first, without the pressure and influence from the public. It’s not every day we get another immortal in the club.”

“Excluding dragons,” Ambassador Spike adds. “To the average pony, we’re functionally immortal.”

“I see the logic in both those statements. Glad I can be a part of the club.”

That’s just a lie.

“Yeah, but also, sorry you got attacked by that Timberwolf all the way out in Whitetail,” Ambassador Spike says apologetically.

“Uh, n-no worries, but why are you a-apologizing for that?”

“Well, I had a hand in creating the first batch of expansion plans for Ponyville—that’s what we called Everfree City back in the day—so, I can’t help but feel partially responsible.”

“Huh…”

I can’t really argue with that without knowing all the details, but what use would it be to make him feel worse?

“Well…” I trail off before letting out a small laugh, to which King Thorax and Ambassador Spike return. “I don’t know. I just know you’re not directly responsible, so: no worries, bro.”

Ambassador Spike nods and leans back.

“What’ve you been doing since you got to the castle?” King Thorax asks.

“Uh, well, not much in between p-periodic interactions with the four of them. I don’t really know what to refer to them all since they a-a-asked me to refrain from using their titles.”

“Oh, well, while you’re at it, don’t bother with titles for Spike or me. I still have trouble hearing it sometimes.”

“Why?”

Thorax sighs and casts his gaze out into nothingness, like a fishing line with no bait.

“It wasn’t easy making the transition to ruling.”

“Your tone makes me think you did it reluctantly.”

He nods and brings his gaze back to me. “I did. Annoyingly enough, I think it was right. I was the only changeling at the time that could lead us out of the dark abyss of our past. But, luckily, I had good friends to help me along the way.”

His smile seems a lot more genuine this time. He glances at Discord leaning on Twilight’s shoulder while she’s in deep conversation with my dad.

“Yeah, I get it.”

“Good. Anyway, back to what you said, I would just refer to them all as…your friends. Makes it a lot simpler.”

I almost roll my eyes. “You know what? Sure, that sounds good, thanks.”

“No problem. Now, back to what you were saying about what you were doing?”

I nod. “Right, well, I played a lot of games and watched a lot of NetMeTube videos to distract myself as much as possible, but sometimes I h-had reprieve.”

Thorax nods, but I speak up before he can get another word in.

“So, what about you? What do you normally do?”

“The most boring bureaucratic nonsense you can imagine,” he exclaims.

I just let out a laugh. “That bad?”

“Yep,” he says with a nod. “Running a kingdom isn’t all that it’s made out to be in movies and TV shows. Sure, there’s a lot of fanfare in your name and ribbons to cut, but that’s just the stuff everyone sees on the outside—the stuff everyone criticizes. Behind the scenes, though? It’s hard to have fulfilling relationships with any creature because of just how much there is to manage. You ponies have it good, being able to swap your rulers around with the 4-2-1 system. I’m a little jealous.”

“H-Haven’t you tried replicating that for yourself?” I ask stupidly.

No wait!

“It doesn’t work like that,” he says, his ears folding back for a moment.

I simply nod along.

“Same with you guys, our ruling class only comes from some divine entity intervening and bestowing their gifts onto someone deemed worthy. At least, that’s the current understanding.”

Now it’s a lot more apparent how important it was to Equestrian history that those fake ascension attempts failed.

“The more I learn about how all of you o-operate the more hopeless I feel,” I say.

“It can feel like that sometimes, but it’s also important not to fall down that hole. I did once, after my brother passed centuries ago, and, like I said earlier, I had creatures that cared about me to help me through that. The most hard-fought battles are not won by one creature alone, whether that be grief or running a kingdom.”

I nod along.

“And what happens if I feel like I don’t have much of a support system?”

Even if it’s right in front of me.

“Well,” he starts. “I don’t know your exact situation, but the best way to have a support system is to make a support system. Work hard to form and maintain relationships so those relationships can maintain you.”

I open my mouth to say something, but the words die on my tongue. I can only let out a minuscule breath of air. I want to say something, anything, about how that makes me feel or how much I agree with it, but something stops me. Whether that’s my stammer, fear of stammering, some societal pressure, or some other fourth thing, I don’t know.

All I can do is smile to myself.

I let out a small sigh and a smile falls on my face. My head hangs down to look at my phone and scroll through Tweetbook.

Oh boy, what a great way to pass the time. Gosh, this dumb bird app sucks. Give hundreds of thousands of toddlers, who all think they’re right, a megaphone, and this is what happens.

My phone screen goes dark as I bring my head back up to see the tabletop for the first time in what feels like hours. A server drags away Spike’s last dirty plate of food as he lets out a sigh of satisfaction. Cadance had moved her seat over to talk to my brother, and the two are currently engaged in what looks like an air guitar contest or something. My mom, sister, and Celestia are all currently on their phones while Luna and Thorax are lounging around in their chairs next to each other, exchanging few words.

Lastly, Twilight and my dad are still talking. Discord had noped out of there a while ago. I don’t blame him in the slightest.

I let out another sigh and glance back down at my phone’s dark screen before it suddenly lights up against and vibrates in my hoof. It’s a text message from Joystick Fiddle.

Oh gosh.

Joystick: Hey, yeah, it went well. I’ll tell you about it later though, feeling kinda tired right now.

I nod and open up my phone to respond.

No worries, take your time, brother.

I close my phone and let it plop back down into my lap…only for another notification to draw my attention again. It’s another text message from one of my friends, a different one this time.

BAN LIST! BAN LIST! BAN LIST!

I let out a gasp and pick my phone back up and unlock it all in one motion.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Mom asks, leaning forward and eyes baring straight into mine.

“Nothing, just some news.”

“What news?”

Still absolutely oblivious.

“Uhh, new duel monsters ban list.”

“Oh,” she says before smiling at me and leaning back in her chair again.

“Duel monsters, you say?” Spike pipes up from the other end of the table.

“Uh, yeah, you play?”

“Of course I do! What self-respecting nerd doesn’t!”

My sister, first of all.

“That’s what I’ve been telling everybody!” I say with a chuckle before Spike gets up and saunters over to my chair to look over my shoulder.

“Alright, let’s see this puppy,” he says, his voice dripping with anticipation and claws gripping the back of my chair.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” I whisper under my breath as I finally pull up the ban list webpage.

The page itself is life-like and makes me smile as a pale white dragon with blue eyes shows itself at the top. Scrolling down, a spreadsheet-like chart makes itself known and my eyes scan the right side of each entry as I slowly scroll down.

Pot of Greed? Yeah, obviously still banned. No way that can come back ever.

But, as the entries start to turn blue, my eyes go past a single phrase that I was hoping to see: “Was limited.” I gasp and drag my eyes across the screen to the left side of the entry with the card’s name on it: Crystron Halqifibrax.

“NO WAY!” Spike shouts.

“HALQ IS BANNED, CRAB RAVE!” I shout. “Now I gotta rework one of my decks, bro!”

“We should duel once you’re done with that,” Spike suggests.

“Actually?”

Author's Note

I know. I know. I know. This took a while. I'm sorry. University started back up and progress has been slow. I had about 2k words done before I started end of August and it's been incremental since then, so I, unfortunately, can't promise anything substantial, at least until winter break.

PLEASE READ ON for at least the next paragraph, I need some feedback!

Anyway, I changed up the thoughts this time. Two of my editors finally convinced me to italicize all the thoughts instead of leaving them without to clear up some confusion in the beginning, but this means I won't be able to make the thoughts feel like narration. So, what do you think? I'd love to get your thoughts on it. If I get enough positive feedback, I'll have an excuse to go back and italicize all the thoughts in previous chapters and ones going forward.

One more thing: are there ever any points when reading, well, any of my stuff where you're confused or don't understand what's happening? I recognize that sometimes things are unclear despite my best efforts to show what's happening and give hints as to it (not that I purposely hide things). So, if there's anything that seems unclear in previous chapters or this chapter, (at the risk of sounding like every teacher ever), please ask in the comments, I'd be happy to clear up any confusion!

And now, as always:

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated

Chapter 17: We Like to Have Fun Here

“Come on, honey, join us, it’ll be fun!” Mom says with a smile.

Unfortunately, Illustrious simply sighs and shakes her head. “No thanks, Mom, I’m good. I’m just gonna go back to my room.”

“Sweetie, your brother wants to show you this. He’s really excited!”

I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“No, he doesn’t, he just wants to play his card game,” Illustrious says, deadpanning.

“Mom,” I start, “it’s fine. If s-she doesn’t wanna c-come, then I wouldn’t wanna force her. I’d rather her leave and have fun doing something else than watching me n-nerd it out with Spike outside.”

At least now I can finally touch grass.

After a moment of looking back at me in the doorway, Mom sighs and hangs her head slightly. “Fine.”

I nod and watch as Illustrious and Mom exit the large dining hall door. Their hooves make little noise as they seemingly glide over the carpeted floor. I give Illustrious a wave when she passes me. She waves back with a smile and turns left. Mom, on the other hand, stops just outside the door.

“Thank you for trying, at least,” I tell her.

Thankfully, she perks up a bit and smiles back at me.

“Of course, sweetie.”

“Aight, let’s go. S-Spike should be waiting outside.”

“Do you know the way?” she asks as we start walking.

“Yeah. T-They only t-took me down it one other time to watch some of the g-g-guard training, but I think I remember the-the way from that and watching them leave earlier.”

She nods. “And what game are you playing again?”

“Duel monsters,” I say with a smirk. “I’m still sur-surprised Spike was able to get his claws on the new duel-duel disks they made. Although, I guess I shouldn’t, really.”

“I’m sure you’re very happy he decided to share it with you, too.”

“True! It’s very exciting. I just gotta fall back on ol’ reliable for this duel. I’m not sure what-what Spike’s gonna be playing, but I can’t i-i-imagine I’m going to win this.”

“I thought this was just a friendly match?” she asks.

“Oh, it is, but still. I’m not concerned with ‘not having fun,’ so the next best thing to be concerned with is winning. Or would it be better to focus on giving a good show?”

“Honey, I still have no idea what I’m looking at or reading when this game comes up.”

I can’t help but smirk at that. “True, but you say-say you’re a vi-visual learner, so maybe this will be a better exp-experience for you. Especially since I don’t think C-Cadance, Twilight, and who-whoever else is j-joining us know the rules, either. Kind of a shame Celestia and Thorax won’t be joining us, though. Anyway, both Spike and I will be explaining things as we go, so n-no worries. Hopefully.”

“Alright, so how does this work?” I ask as my wings beat up and down to balance the extra weight on my forehoof. The thing in question is a five-pound hunk of metal frame that resembles a rectangle. The hoof strap is clasped to my front right hoof, and I can clearly see my limb through the frame.

I turn my hoof over briefly before looking up at Spike. “I fail to s-see how I’m suppo-supposed to put my cards into this.”

“That’s because you need your phone,” Spike replies in a knowing tone as he slides his wrist into his own duel disk’s strap.

“Wait…Ohhhhhh! The frame holds my phone, so it’s like ARC-V. Gotcha.”

“I dunno, I haven’t watched any of the animes.”

“Smh my head, bro.”

“Shut up.”

We share a laugh before I use my magic to grasp my phone, still in my brown faux leather strap around my body. The concentration instantly breaks my smile and laugh, but the result is worth it. With some difficulty, my phone slides into the metal frame attached to my hoof landscape style.

Almost instantly, the changes take place. A small cord extends out of the frame and plugs into my phone’s charging port before the frame itself shifts, bends, and shrinks down to fit the confines of my phone. A small slot appears on the side of the phone facing me and starts to glow bright gold. Similarly, the top part of my phone slides out and starts to glow the same color.

“Oh wow. I assume the ch-changes aren’t p-permanent?”

Spike shakes his head. “Nope, it’ll go back to normal once you unplug it.”

I attempt to nod, but something else catches my attention. Spike, with a single claw, double-taps the gems on his gold bracelet. After a split second, his phone materializes in front of him, and he swipes it out of the air greedily before sliding it into his own metal frame.

“This is so fucking cool,” I say in an almost whisper-like tone.

“I know, right? Since Twilight and I agreed I should be wearing this pretty much wherever I go, she decided to deck it out as much as possible. I love advancements in magitech.”

“Agreed, bro. Alright, h-how do you want to det-det-determine who goes first?”

“Well, first you should get your deck set in place.”

“Oh, true!” I say with a smile. I slow my wingbeats until I land. I then lean down to pick up my deck box from out of the thin grass. I slide it out and then slide it into the slot poking out of the side of the phone screen.

Fuck, I’m dumb.

“Second of all, we need to sync the duel disks up first. Then we can decide.”

I nod and resume flying. “Alright, how?”

“Hold your hoof out. Now touch it to mine.”

“Duel disks synced,” a robotic voice came from the devices. “Please walk at least ten meters apart to begin the duel.”

“Ten meters?” I start, “it’s gonna be T-Tartarus to hear each o-other.” By the time I finish talking and looking up from my duel disk, Spike is already backing away from me.

“Luckily, they didn’t pull any punches when making these things.”

And I can hear Spike perfectly. Even as he continues to get farther from me.

“There’s long-range communication built into this? That’s SO fucking cool!”

Here we go! I can only imagine how wide the stupid grin plastered across my face is.

“It’s an area of effect that expands the more we exceed ten meters,” Spike says as he continues walking backward while gesturing with his chin over to our audience. Save for Celestia and Illustrious, everyone else that had been present at lunch is watching us from the bench of an ornate gazebo near the edge of the palace gardens.

The gazebo itself is basked in the shade of the massive palace behind it, allowing some reprieve from the mid-day sun that beats down on the surrounding grass, flower beds, and bird baths. Thin strands of a willow tree hang from the backside of the gazebo, swaying silently and softly in the breeze. I was momentarily entranced by the white flowers lining the rims of its roof in a sort of ritualistic dance.

In between the gazebo and the palace, just barely kissing the gazebo’s south side, is a full bed of roses. The roses themselves sit upright, unmoving, and in full bloom, as if perpetually frozen in time. They stand in stark contrast to the other beds sitting closer to the castle, and I eye them for a minute before turning my attention to the gazebo’s occupants.

I think Dad and Silent are here because they don’t have anything better to do right now. Oh well.

“Oh, true, let’s get them in here.”

After another five seconds of walking back: “Hey!” I call out. “T-T-There’s long-range com-communication built into these so we can all hear each other perfectly within this radius.”

A small twinge of anger makes itself known in the back of my head as I suck in some air. Shakily and slowly, I let out a breath.

Calm down.

The small pit in my stomach recedes.

“Oh, really?” Mom asks.

Dad gives a smile and a nod.

“Oh, what? That’s sick!” Silent Symphony exclaims.

“Imagine relying on such primitive magitech for communication, bah!” Discord says with a dismissive wave of his paw.

Twilight rolls her eyes with a smile before saying, “Ha-ha, Discord.”

“So, how is this going to work?” Luna asks.

“I’m also curious,” Cadance adds.

“Well, I was thi-thinking we j-just call out all our moves like a-a-anime protagonists, try and make this as en-engaging to watch as possible. Thoughts?” I say with a smirk.

“Seems dumb,” Silent quips.

“That seems like the best thing to do here. Even better is that for each monster summoned, its stats will be displayed to every creature individually. Not sure how that’ll work for the spectators, but for us, everything will show up on our phones,” Spike says.

“Oh, okay, easy,” I state. “Now then, let’s do this.”

“Yes, let’s. Accept the invite.”

“Huh?” I ask before looking down at my phone. “Oh.” I lower my left hoof down to the big green ‘Begin Duel?’ button on my phone.

“Roll my dice,” Spike commands, and right on cue, two huge dice materialize about three meters in the air and crash into the ground between us. “Eleven.”

I nod. “Oof, I’m not getting over that. R-Roll my dice.” After the dies crash and settle: “Seven. Yep, nope.”

“There was no way you were beating that.”

“You’re right, i-it was just a skill issue. You are simply the better duelist.”

Spike can’t help but laugh at my comment. “Absolutely. I’ll go first.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course, you will. Good luck, bro.”

“Good luck, duelist.”

“Ooooh, this is going to be fun! The suspense is killing me!” Discord exclaims.

“Just don’t go altering the game,” Spike says with a smile.

“We don’t want a ‘the monsters are real?!’ moment,” I tack on. “A-A-Anyway, to start off, we both d-draw f-five cards in our opening hands. There’re one, two, three, four, five—six phases of pl-play during each pl-player’s turn: draw, standby, main one, battle, main two, and end. The first-turn pl-player doesn’t draw a c-card during the start of their turn, and th-they don’t get a-a battle phase.

“Why are there two main phases? Shouldn’t you only need one?” Dad asks. Though, his smirk makes me doubt how serious he actually is.

I roll my eyes. “I dunno, Dad, that’s j-just the way it is. If you get a b-battle phase, then normally you’d get as many m-m-monsters with high attack as po-possible on board before attacking and then summon your big boss monsters in your second main phase with-with those monsters.

He nods and leans forward in his seat.

“There’re more restrictions in this game than how many you put on me during you girls’ ‘please-don’t-bother-us-or-so-help-me’ time,” Discord mutters.

Twilight gives a light titter and shakes her head. Discord, as the ever-wise and all-knowing chaos god that he is, recedes into the fabric of reality for a moment while sticking out his tongue.

“We’ll ex-explain the phases of pl-play more in-depth as w-we go, but for now, I’ll move on to card types. Stay with me, this is gonna be a lot but I promise it’ll be worth it,” I start.

“Th-there are three main super-types of cards: monsters, spells, and traps. Mon-Monsters are, well, monsters. They’ve got attributes, like dark, light, wind, etc, levels, types, attack points, defense points, and some have effects. Th-those effects can activate in the-the hand, on the f-field, in the grave-graveyard, it all depends. Makes sense so far?”

“Yep!” Twilight quips with a smile, “Spike’s already explained most of this a hundred times anyway.”

Oh, well, guess they do already know. The others still don’t, though.

Cadance and Luna nod.

“Uhm, sure, honey, just keep going,” Mom says.

Right, right, I’m getting too excited. Fuck me.

“Alright, ne-next are spells. There are six-six types of spells: normal, quick-play, continuous, field, equip, and ritual, but y-you only need to wo-worry about four: normal, quick-play, and field. Normal and field spells can be played from your ha-hand to one of the spell and trap zones on the-the field. I’ll explain the field in a second.

“A-Anyway, field spells stay on the f-field after you a-a-activate them, their effects apply until they’re removed from the field. Simple! Quick-play spells are the ex-exception, which can be used in re-response to something the opponent does, pl-played like normal spells, or be set like trap cards.

I take in a huge gasp of air.

“Speaking of trap cards, I’m on a roll wi-with these transitions, there are thr-three different types of trap cards, but you don’t really need to worry about them. Just know that by default, unless a card effect says otherwise, you have to s-set trap cards face down on the f-field in the-the spell and trap zone and wait a turn before you can a-a-activate them.”

“What do you mean by ‘unless a card effect says otherwise’?” Dad asks, crossing his forehooves and leaning back in the gazebo’s seat.

“Haha, well funny thing is: as a general rule in this game, card effects trump game mechanics. If a card says it works a certain way, e-even if it's against the rules, then it just works that way. For instance, Infinite Impermanence is a t-trap card that allows you to negate a mo-monster’s effects, but also allows you to a-activate it from your hand, without setting it face down, if you control no cards on your field. It w-works that way because the c-card says it works that way, and nothing more.

“Anyway, I promise I’m almost done.

“Now for the field. E-Each player gets five main monster zones to su-summon stuff to and five spell and t-trap zones for their, wait for it, spells and traps. Imagine them like two rows of five rectangles; that’s where most of the gameplay takes place. Once cards are sp-spent, they go to the gr-gr-graveyard, or G-Y, also each player gets a f-field zone specifically for field spells, separate from the spell and trap zones.

“The only other ex-exception to this s-stuff is the ex-extra monster zone, located in between both pl-players’ fields. That’s where mo-monsters summoned from the ex-extra deck go, but we’ll explain that once it b-becomes relevant.”

“What do you mean by ‘Once cards are spent spent’?” Silent Symphony asks.

“Like when a monster gets destroyed, after you play a spell or trap card, stuff like that. Just think of the graveyard like a trash can: when you’re done with a card, that’s where it goes. Except where sometimes you can pull stuff out of the trash can and use it again.”

I stop for a moment and take a deep breath. “Alright, go ahead, Spike,” I say with a nod.

—----------------------------------------------
Mezzo: 8000 LP | Spike: 8000 LP |
—----------------------------------------------

Spike and I draw our opening hands and look down at them. I try my best to ignore the kaleidoscope of butterflies hatching in my stomach with a deep breath and drag my gaze across the cards in my magic.

Yes! I may not have drawn any hand traps, but I have drawn full combo. So, I just gotta figure out how to bait out Spike’s interactions once he passes his turn, whatever those interactions will be.

“You betcha! First off, we enter the draw phase, but nothing happens here, since it’s the first turn. And even though nothing is supposed to happen, that doesn’t stop me from activating cards such as my quick-play spell, Quick Launch, which lets me summon a ‘Rokket’ monster from my deck, but it cannot attack and is destroyed in the end phase. I’ll summon the level four, DARK attribute dragon monster, Rokket Tracer, in defense mode!”

After Spike slots the spell card into the bottom of his duel disk, a bright blue card materializes out of a sheen of light in front of Spike, reading “Quick Launch” in big bold letters across its top. From the center of the card comes a narrow beam of bright blue energy that crashes into the ground and materializes into a small creature.

The light then fades away to reveal a small red dragon with bright blue accented lines running across its body. It raises its bullet-like head to the sky in a defiant roar and swings its spiky tail like a scythe, cutting through the air with deadly precision.

I can feel my jaw hanging wide open as I gawk at Rokket Tracer. When I strain my eyes slightly, I can see Spike doing the same. A roaring inferno deep inside my soul rages up through my gut, burning everything in its path and making me smile. Obviously, the only place for such an inferno to escape is through my mouth, so: “No WAY, DUDE! This is AWESOME!” I shout.

“This is much more life-like than I would’ve expected,” he says. “Now we can have a proper game of duel monsters!”

“Fuck yeah! K-Keep going, I wanna see how g-good this gets!”

“I know what else we can test out. Ya ready?” he says with a smirk, his voice dripping with anticipation.

“Absolutely. Come at me!”

“Now we enter the standby phase. I have nothing to activate here, so priority then passes to Mezzo for any effects he might want to activate. Anything in the standby phase?”

“Nope, continue! Come on!”

“Alright, alright, chill. Now we’re in the main phase. Here I can summon monsters, activate normal spells and the like, and set trap cards. But another special thing I can do is summon from my extra deck! I’ll set Rokket Tracer in the link arrow!” Spike shouts.

He pulls Rokket Tracer’s card off of his glowing duel disk and slots it into the bottom of the duel disk’s screen. On the right side of the screen, a new port opens up to reveal a single face-down card. Spike snatches the card and slams it down onto his duel disk.

Let’s GO!

“YES!”

We both watch in awe as Rokket Tracer fades back into a narrow beam of blue light, but this time it rises up into the sky. As it ascends, a box-like circuit board appears in the sky, glowing a bright blue with eight greyed-out arrows surrounding it.

“What’s that?” Mom asks.

Her voice manages to cuts through my focus, and I turn my head toward her for a moment.

“This is a link summon! I’ll e-explain in a second.”

Rokket Tracer then slams into the leftmost arrow, turning it red, and forcing the circuit to explode in a supernova of blue light. Strangely enough, in the brief moment in between the flash and my hoof coming up to block my eyes, I don’t feel any pain.

“I link summon! Link 1, Striker Dragon!

A sharp, robotic-like PPEEWWWW sound emanates all around us as the light fades to reveal a fully blue dragon with gray accents and no arms. Its vibrant and almost translucent double wings extend out as it gives its own roar to the heavens above.

“What’s a link summon?” Mom asks again.

“It’s one of the m-many what’s called ‘ex-extra deck summoning m-mechanics,’” I start, “Each player gets their m-main deck of cards, wh-which can have 40-60 cards, but the extra deck is an ex-extra set of 15 cards that ex-exclusively houses special kinds of m-monsters which can be su-summoned when you-you meet the right conditions,” I explain. “Thi-th-thi-holy SHIT!”

I take a comedically oversized breath and lick my lips.

“This is one of those m-mechanics: link summoning. Since S-Spike had a level four or lower dragon on his field, the-the extra monster zone was o-open, he was in his main phase, and n-no card effect was stopping him, he could link s-summon Striker Dragon.”

“Exactly, and now that it’s been summoned, Striker Dragon’s effect activates! It allows me to add the field spell, Boot Sector Launch, from my deck to my hand. Anything in response?” He asks, his claw clenched on the top card of his deck and his elbow bent back.

“Nope, I drew no interactions, go nuts.”

“Aw yeah!” Spike exclaims.

“Why would you tell him that? Shouldn’t you want to keep your hand a secret?” Dad pipes up.

“Normally, yes, b-but this is just a friendly match. Since w-we’re gonna be a-announcing all our moves, it’ll save a bit of t-time if Spike doesn’t have to worry about asking for a-a response after every m-move he makes, which is standard practice.”

Dad nods, and Spike resumes his turn.

“Then, I’ll activate Striker Dragon’s second effect. It targets itself on the field and Rokket Tracer in my graveyard. It then destroys itself to add back Rokket Tracer to my hand!”

A bright yellow light erupts out from the core of Striker Dragon’s chest, shattering it into a million little pieces like a smashed window. A card then slots out of Spike’s duel disk, and he adds it to his hand.

“Next, I’ll activate Boot Sector Launch!” he shouts, slamming the card from his hand into a special port that slotted out from the top of his duel disk. The slot then slams closed, and I can’t believe my eyes.

“Ay yo? Ay YO!”

All around us, the castle, the sky, and the grassy gardens of the palace fade away. In their place comes a huge sprawling network of bright blue lines embedded into a completely metallic structure, as if we were swallowed by a mountain and dumped in a vast mile-deep cavern.

The pathways through the gardens fade to blue lines, while the grass fades into the gray metal that now consumes the area. Out towards the edge of Canterlot, I spot what looks to be a bright red spinning barrel of…something. The black metal strip that outlines the thing obscures my view of it, only the small blue holes on either side of the strip embedded into the thing are visible.

“Woah, what’s happening?” Mom says, panic now invading her voice. “Honey?”

“It’s o-okay, Mom, this is j-just a field s-spell.”

That’s not a very helpful response.

“It’s just an illusion,” Spike chimes in.

Oh, thank harmony.

“What you’re seeing around you is Boot Sector Launch. It’ll go away once I remove the card from my duel disk or the duel ends.

“Now I activate Boot Sector Launch’s effect! This lets me special summon up to two ‘Rokket’ monsters from my hand in defense mode! Now appear once again, Rokket Tracer!”

He slaps down Rokket Tracer’s card onto his duel disk with a mighty SLAP! In the same instant, the red barrel in the distance releases a narrow geyser of blue energy jets out from one of its holes. The beam flies out towards the field like a javelin and crashes into the ground, which then forms itself back into Rokket Tracer.

“As an added bonus, Boot Sector Launch’s continuous effect boosts Tracer’s attack points by 300!”

Rokket Tracer’s Attack: 1600 ATK -> 1900 ATK

“But that won’t matter, for now, I activate Rokket Tracer’s effect!” Spike exclaims, pointing a claw out in front of him.

“In exchange for targeting and destroying a card I control and locking me into only summoning DARK attribute monsters from the extra deck this turn, it summons a ‘Rokket’ monster from my deck! I’ll destroy Boot Sector Launch to summon level four Rokket Recharger!”

A dark purple aura surrounds Rokket Tracer as it gives a mighty roar. The aura then transfers itself to the entirety of the surrounding area, bathing the metal walls, floors, blue-accented energy lines, and the big red barrel all in the same dark aura.

I blink, and the illusion shatters into a million tiny little triangles.

Rokket Tracer’s: 1900 ATK -> 1600 ATK

Instead of dissipating this time, the tiny triangles fly around and coalesce onto a single point on Spike’s field next to Rokket Tracer, forming a solid mass of light. The light then fades away to reveal a similar dragon to Tracer, except with a more menacing color palette: a smattering of blacks and reds with the same ethereal turquoise accents. It’s almost as if its presence alone is sapping the life and color out of the surrounding area.

How fitting.

I smirk.

“What’s the point of summoning all these monsters when they’re all so weak? I mean, Tracer only has 1600 attack points now that you’ve destroyed your field spell or whatever. How much can that do?” Silent Symphony says with a cocked eyebrow.

“The point,” Spike says quickly, “is that I can use them to summon much stronger monsters. The extra deck isn’t just about further advancing my plays, it’s also about big strong bungus boss monsters. For instance…”

He clears his throat.

“For those who are unaware, Rokket Tracer is a special kind of monster. In fact, it is a tuner monster, meaning I can do this! I tune level four Rokket Tracer with level four Rokket Recharger!” he shouts. Instantly as he says that, both Tracer and Recharger dissolve back into light before our eyes. From out of their purple incandescent bodies float four small bright orbs.

“Is this Savage Dragon?” I ask, anticipation dripping from my voice.

Spike smirks, “Yep!”

The orbs dance around each other like me at my high school prom as they float into the sky. Rokket Tracer’s orbs transform themselves into four green rings that line up like a tube.

“Are you gonna do the chant?”

“What chant?”

“I got this!” I shout with the biggest grin on my stupid ass face. “The fuel of cosmos mixes with the boundaries of speed to transcend the beyond! Now you go!”

Rokket Recharger’s orbs fly inside of them and collapse into a beacon of light. The light expands to consume the rings around it, forcing my eyes to shut.

“Uh, I synchro summon! Level 8 Borreload Savage Dragon!”

The light fades to reveal a truly hulking beast. The two huge hunks of metal protruding from its back give way to an impressive array of matching almost turquoise translucent wings that loom over the entire garden. Its silver tail whips around, the spiked end just barely grazing its box-like feet that hover in place, as if to balance itself against nothing.

Its red and silver body shifts around as the spiked, almost hair-like protrusions from its head point at the ground when the dragon lets out a piercing roar. It extends its wings as much as possible in a take-a-step-back-inducing display and gives them one mighty flap, sending a small gust of wind in every direction.

“Holy shit! That was AWESOME!” I shout, taking a step back.

Spike recovers first and explains, “This is another extra deck mechanic. Rokket Tracer was a tuner monster, which is one element that all synchro monsters require. Since Rokket Tracer was on my field, along with a non-tuner monster, and both of their levels added together totaled eight, which is Savage Dragon’s level, I could send both of them to the graveyard to synchro summon Borreload Savage Dragon. Speaking of, Savage Dragon’s effect now activates!

“Since it was synchro summoned, I get to target a link monster in my graveyard. I’ll target Striker Dragon. Striker Dragon now equips onto Savage Dragon as an equip spell card, granting Borreload extra attack points equal to half of Striker’s attack points. Striker had 1000, so Savage gains 500 attack.

Borreload Savage Dragon: 3000 ATK -> 3500 ATK

“But that’s not all! Savage Dragon gains a borrel counter for every link that Striker Dragon had. Striker Dragon is link 1, so Savage Dragon gains one borrel counter!

From the bottom slot of Spike’s duel disk flies a golden orb of light. It circles around Borreload, as if trying to get the dragon to dance, before settling itself in the small hole protruding out of Borreload’s barrel-like chest.

Borreload Savage Dragon’s Borrel Counters: 0 -> 1

“As a bonus, whenever you activate a card effect, once per turn I can remove one borrel counter from Savage Dragon to negate it! Now, I end my turn.”

“Finally. Let’s go, I draw!” I shout, putting my hoof onto my duel disk and pulling it back in as dramatic a fashion as I can muster. After relaxing my stance, I float the card from my hoof into my magically-supported hand. “Phew, alright, now let’s see here…”

What can I do? Special Thrasher, then summon Vanisher, overlay into…

A knot starts to form in my head, right below my horn. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a shaky breath.

Overlay into…special thrasher, then vanisher, then…UGH!

The knot seems to grow like a black hole, eating my energy and surrounding muscle tissue.

Dammit! I can’t keep this up.

With a small breath, I unfurl my wings and propel myself up with a single strong flap. I’m then free to set the card in my hooves and breath a sigh of relief.

“Alright, I know wh-what I can do. I have a p-plan.” I take a moment to suppress a chuckle. “It’s evil. It’s d-diabolical. It’s lemon-scented! THIS PLAN Z CAN’T POSSIBLY FAIL!”

A snort echoes from the gazebo.

“What?” Spike asks incredulously, cocking an eyebrow.

“If you d-don’t stop me, I c-can game you this round.”

“No way. No shot you have lethal. What’re you even playing?”

“Galaxy-Eyes.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes, I t-totally have lethal. Those 8000 life points are going d-down the drain! Unless, of course…you negate the right thing with Savage Dragon. To start off, since I control no monsters on my field, I can special summon Photon Thrasher!”

I take one card from my hand and slam it down onto my duel disk. In the same instant, a swirl of light appears on my field in front of me. Like a distant spinning galaxy observed through a telescope, the light then spirals in on itself until a small explosion of light occurs. I blink away the bright spots in my vision to reveal an azure translucent warrior that shines as bright as a star.

As if sentient light itself were wearing armor, Thrasher stands defiantly on my field, looking up at Borreload Savage Dragon. The long, one-sided blade it wields doesn’t do much to help it stand against the beast.

“Then, since I control a monster with ‘Photon’ in its name, I can special summon Photon Vanisher from my hand!”

Same as last time, a new spinning galaxy appears next to Thrasher. Thrasher looks at the swirling cluster of light, tilts its head, then dives away at the last second before it implodes. Out from the blinding light appears a similar black warrior to Photon Thrasher.

The robot's body was covered in a layer of protective armor, made up of black and gray plates that covered most of its body, with the joints remaining exposed to facilitate movement. The joints themselves shine brightly like the righteous light from a shining star! Vanisher aims its weird contraption with an elongated barrel up at Borreload Savage Dragon, floating there menacingly.

“Now, l-let me show you another su-summoning technique. Since I control two monsters with the s-same level, I can o-overlay them! I now overlay level four Photon Thrasher a-and Photon Vanisher! With these two monsters, I build the overlay network!”

Both warriors of light fade back into swirling galaxies of wonder. A swirling black hole then forms out of nothing on the field below where Savage Dragon is floating. Thrasher and Vanisher’s galaxies then fly like whizzing arrows into the center of the black hole.

“The boundaries between harmony and chaos break down to manifest as a shining beacon of light!” I chant, raising a hoof to the sky.

It’s enough to make a grown stallion cry!

The black hole then explodes in a blaze of glory, and my shit-faced grin grows even wider! A warm feeling permeates my entire body, and I momentarily lose myself.

Fuck, this is exhilarating!

“I XYZ summon! Rank 4 Starliege Photo-”

“Princesses! We have a situation!”

The fire in my soul freezes over in an instant.

One of the sliding doors attached to the castle opens up to reveal a frantic hippogriff staff member, clad in their signature shirt filled with enough swirling colors to make your eyes bleed. He flies, literally and figuratively, out of the entrance and up to the three Princesses on the sidelines. After a lightning-quick bow, he continues.

“Princess Celestia sent me as soon as she became aware of the situation. There seems to be a gathering of concerned citizens outside the palace gates. There’ve been reports of huge flashes of light, loud thumps, and roaring. The press is also lining up outside and have been interviewing some of the citizens.”

“What? I thought they fixed that bug! Only those within the radius are supposed to be able to interact with this!” Spike shouts.

“Thank you, we’ll deal with this,” Twilight says to the staff member, her face expressionless.

The staff member nods, bows again, and runs back into the palace.

Twilight sighs.

“I’m really sorry, Twi,” Spike says while walking over to her.

Twilight smiles a tired smile and speaks. “It’s alright, Spike, you didn’t know. Besides, this isn’t hard to deal with.”

“Indeed,” Luna chimes in. “It’ll be dealt with in no time.”

Spike nods, then turns to me. “Hey, sorry, we can-”

“Yeah, I get it, I’ll surrender,” I cut him off before sighing. I fold my cards back into one before slotting them back into the duel disk. I then tap the upper right corner of the screen and tap the big red “Surrender” button. “Just wish I didn’t get cut off, that wa-was a lot of fun.”

“True.”

Luna and Twilight make their way back towards the palace entrance with a confident, albeit steady, stride. They’re now passing the large bed of roses. Almost the entire bed of roses is in full bloom, like a beautiful cascade of red water.

Cadance then turns to Dad, Mom, and Silent Symphony. “Please return to your rooms for now. We’ll send for you all when dinner is ready.”

All three of them nod without a word and march in the same direction. Cadance hurries in the same direction to catch up with Twilight and Luna, who’re now passing the bed of lilies. Most of them are fully in bloom, but some are wilted—like they’re the physical embodiment of disappointment. Or maybe sadness?

Once she catches up, however, Twilight leans down and whispers something in Cadance’s ear. She then stops in her tracks with Twilight looking down at her, a small smile on her face.

Cadance nods before continuing at a slower pace. Luna and Twilight eventually overtake her, disappearing into the palace.

She’s passing the bed of violets now.

Cadance frowns.

The final, curled-up violet in the otherwise fully bloomed bed stirs. A single pedal unfurls like a pegasus wing, about to take flight.

I start walking over to Cadance. I can hear her sigh. It makes my ears fold back and my expression deepens, but also makes me walk faster.

“Hey, a-are you okay?”

She stops again and turns back to me with a disappointed sigh and frown.

“Yeah, I’m j-he-!”

I sit down, wrap my hooves around her, and pull her into an embrace. After a small instant that lasts a lifetime, she lets out a small sigh, sits down, and reciprocates.

“Thank you, Mezzy,” she whispers.

I wrap my wings around her and squeeze a bit harder.

Author's Note

If any of you are interested in the cards used in this chapter, here are their entries in the official Yu-Gi-Oh! card database:
(In order of appearance)
Quick Launch
Rokket Tracer
Striker Dragon
Boot Sector Launch
Rokket Recharger
Borreload Savage Dragon
Photon Thrasher
Photon Vanisher
Starliege Photon Blast Dragon

Got most of this written over winter break after recovering from surgery, just had to finish the final stretch after classes started last week and have my editors look over this.

I hope the explanations were bearable. I rewrote and cut out a lot of them while working on this. Spike's turn used to be much longer, but that eventually got too long and boring. Modern Yu-Gi-Oh! does not translate well into writing, especially when I know not all of my readers would be a fan of watching someone essentially play solitaire by themselves.

Let me know if anything didn't make sense, I'd be happy to explain. (Although, I'm sure that's obvious at this point. God I love this silly anime card game)

Maybe one day we'll get to see Mezzo's full turn. I hear his deck can be quite, ahem, explosive.

ALSO: one of my editors, DarthBall, commissioned some art for me for Christmas, marvel at its beauty!

Drawn by CrimsonWolf360

Finally, as always:

Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated!

Chapter 1: Like That'll Ever Happen

“In the end, the Alicorn of All’s confrontation with the ancient evil ended in a triumphant victory, thus ending the 100-year war. With the evil’s defeat came the release of the four Alicorn Princesses he had sworn to protect.” I can barely contain my laughter. “Their return brought peace and harmony back to the land of Equestria and the four princesses he had sworn to protect professed their LOVE FOR-!” I wheeze out before breaking down into laughter, not even bothering to finish the page.

“HAhahaha, yeah right, like that’ll ever happen,” I say breathlessly while shaking my head and closing the tab. Standing up, I can feel a few joints pop. I yawn as I turn my gaze towards the rising sun out my window.

Holy shit, I can’t get over that! Hooh, me see pretty mare. Me want wife. Hooh me horse brain.

I brush my messy black mane out of my face and admire the view for a moment while still chuckling to myself.

What a stupid fucking story. So unrealistic! Like nopony would or, Tartarus, should be that powerful, let alone get four wives that were the leaders of the fucking country. What did that guy take them for, dipshits?

Whatever.

I’ll be deleting that sorry excuse for a story from my search history later. Maybe I can leave a bad review on it? For now, this fucking guy’s gotta check his email. I would just check my phone but the battery decided to die on me last night and now I gotta check my actual laptop and fucking “sign-in” to my email. You think they would abolish usernames and passwords by now, but nope!

Overdramatic and semi-sarcastic rant aside, I bring my wing up to the mouse to scroll down.

Junk, junk, don’t care, don’t care, oh great more pseudoscience from Mom, and-OH FUCK! I have a birthday party that I have to go play at this morning at 11:00 a.m. Who could’ve known? Me, that’s who should’ve known but there’s nothing I can do about my past failings now. Now I gotta reschedule my whole day. How did I plan it again?

Oh yeah! I was going to actually try and go to a service at one of the four churches for once but pfft I GUESS NOT! Then grocery shopping, a quick stop at the market, a quick and early lunch…Oh right, the magic plant raised my bill again this month despite the law change, so I gotta stop by and sort that out. Then the birthday party and then the wedding tonight.

I debate whether I should eat before the wedding but I shrug off the thought.

It’s a wedding, there'll be free food. Not paying for a meal is something I can get behind.

Phew, I’m freaking out for no reason, good. Deep breaths, deep breaths, you’re fine, you got this.

Satisfied, I close my laptop and let out another yawn.

Celestia, I love cracking my wings in the morning.

I then notice a few bent feathers on my left wing. It’s so tempting to just fix it right then and there but I’m interrupted by a blaring *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* that tears my soul from my body and immediately makes me start to sweat.

Alright, ALRIGHT I fucking get it.

“Fuck me, dude…” I grumble as I tap “Stop” with my hoof. I sigh and walk into the adjacent bathroom. When I get to my sink I turn the cold water on, look myself in my golden eyes, and throw water in my face.

Sick, my favorite part of the day.

I then repeat the process with my mane and run my hooves through it to get it as slick as I could while my left wing retrieves a towel from the rack beside me and dries my face.

Ha, I love my wing dexterity. Perks of being a musician, I guess?

I shrug to myself again as I reach a hoof under the sink cabinet and retrieve my mane-gel.

Thankfully, my hoof workings in my mane earlier made it slick enough to where I could run the gel through it without pulling my mane out. SCORE!

Groceries, market run, magic plant, lunch, party, wedding. Groceries, market run, magic plant, lunch, party, wedding. That’ll be my mantra for the day. The mantra of a busy day. Great.

Once I’m satisfied with the sick chad standing in front of me I wash my hooves and drift back out into my bedroom. With a deep breath, I wander over to my nightstand and retrieve my faux leather phone strap. I throw that puppy around my shoulder and swing the phone holder to the left side of my chest. Sliding my phone into place I then quickly throw on my saddlebags and give one last glance to my apartment before I step out.

Alright, groceries, market run, plant, lunch, party, wedding. Groceries, market run, plant, lunch, party, wedding.

“That’ll be thirty-two bits, sir,” The shopkeeper says to me as I finish fixing my saddlebags around myself. Nodding, my left wing dives into a small side pocket on the left side of my saddlebags and produces the required amount.

“Thank you,” he says cheerfully to which I simply nod. No need for excess words. Turning away I glance further down the road toward my next destination.

My plan is simple: see if I can find anything interesting to buy from some of the traveling sales ponies, swing around to the magic plant because of course they’ll only hear me face-to-face. Then I need to go back home and grab my equipment for the party, actually go to the party, and then do everything for the wedding.

Hoo-boy long day, I can already feel my hooves aching, but I can get through it. I always do.

As I approach the market square I groan as incessant shouting pierces my ears.

I immediately know what the cause is.

It’s those Celestia-damn Priests with their microphones and speakers, shouting to the sky about being “saved” or whatever. Not that I would ever buy into that religious stuff, courtesy of my paranoid mother.

Fucking NetMeTube.

“Join the Church of the Sun Goddess Princess Celestia Herself! Learn the skills required of a true leader from her own writings! Who knows, you may even get to meet her!”

“Join the Church of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Harbinger of All that is magical, and feel yourself ascend to a higher plane!”

“Join the Church of Princess Mi Amo…”

Normally, something like this wouldn’t bother me at all but when you have not one, not two, but FOUR preachers all just fucking standing there acting all high and mighty, shouting at you to join their church with microphones and speakers, it’s enough to make me grind my teeth. Sometimes I wish there were less than four alicorns, then there would be fewer preachers to yell at me, but I imagine that’d upset some sort of balance.

Taking a deep breath, I ignore them as best as I can and make my way around the market stalls.

More food? Nope just bought some. Office supplies? Nope, I’m all good. Toys? I’m not a twelve-year-old. Oooh, electronics, definitely not toys. While I'm unable to afford anything right now, that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in them.

Want what you can’t have, right? Heh, yeah, I’m such an idiot. Whatever, let me just take a few moments to browse, act like I’m actually gonna buy something, and then just leave.

“Interested in anything?” The shopkeeper asks me as I lean closer to the display case. I glance up at the owner of the gruff voice for a split second. He’s a light brown pegasus with a chocolate brown mane, tail, and eyes. His welcoming smirk makes me relax my own expression.

“Nope, just browsing,” I reply. He nods and turns away to greet the other ponies swarming his stall as I return to my browsing.

Let’s see here...oooh the newest Port-A-Com model is out.

I give a disappointed glance at my own older model and move on.

Way too expensive, that’d have to be something I’d save up for the long term.

Next to that are the typical fakes that would break if you so much as breathe on them.

Skipping past them, my eyes land on the newest C-Plane laptop model from Macrohard.

That’s perfect for sheet music! Its detachable screen would mean I wouldn’t have to print my sheet music, and its dedicated GPU could handle my games...

I shake my head.

Alright, don’t get carried away, you’re not here to buy anything.

Glancing down at my phone, I notice I wasted twenty minutes staring at things I couldn’t buy. Not the most productive use of my time, so I quickly leave the stall to submerge myself back into the sea of ponies.

Sighing, I plop myself down on the rim of the stone fountain and take in my surroundings again. It all still feels so new to me, despite already being here a couple of years. The stone walkways and dull red brick closely connected storefronts and concrete apartment buildings are a far cry from the metropolis of Las Pegasus I had grown up in.

Not like it matters, I'm not planning on going back there in my lifetime.

The only reason I moved out here in the first place was to get away from that place, more specifically my parents. That and this relatively new settlement had cheap apartments for rent and I wasn’t going to say no to impeccable timing. Sure, I love my parents, but I swear they have some screws loose.

Shaking my head, I look down at what I had bought. Thoughtfully, I undo the thick paper wrapping and look at the instrument in my hooves.

The shopkeeper at the “Foreign Trinkets” stall told me it’s called “The Night” or “The Cricket”. I remember seeing one in my high school band class, but I never bothered to learn about it; it looks fairly easy to play. Based on the small handle, four small ball bearings, and the metal cylinder those bearings smack up against, I’d say this is probably just another background instrument, but one I’d treasure nonetheless.

I would’ve gone elsewhere but Twilight knows the local music shop would only carry snares, kicks, hi-hats, and rides because unfortunately, that’s what sells.

Woohoo, capitalism. Whatever.

Now that my hooves are sort of rested from walking all morning, I have one last stop to make before preparing for the birthday party. I mentally prepare myself as I start trotting in the direction of the hulking building engulfing ponies’ attention if they glance in its general direction.

Fortunately, my overthinking is interrupted when the building steals my own attention as well. I’m mesmerized by the copper coils and huge vents that pierce the sky and ward away sky traffic from its immediate area.

The pegasi and ponies with winged magical constructs risk a swift and painful meeting with Death if they venture too close to the coils. I grimace as a memory forces its way to the forefront of my mind.

No mom, of course, the magic plants aren’t putting out harmful radiation into the atmosphere that’s slowly killing us all. You’d think we’d all be dead by now if that were the case.

I roll my eyes.

“Oh, my apologies, sir, I’ll fix that right away for you,” the mare at the magic plant’s “Inquiries” booth says to me as she inserts her hooves into the two hollow hemispheres below the computer screen and begins to slide them around in a methodical pattern.

“Name?”

“Mezzo Harmonic.”

Apparently, according to what she told me, it’s a newer model of keyboard, although there weren’t any keys to press, so I guess “keyboard” is the wrong term. The user has to move their hooves around in certain combinations in order to type and make words and of course, move the mouse around on the screen. I think it’s a pretty ingenious way to change the keyboards we had before. I mean there’ve been so many times where I’ve hit multiple keys at once and it makes for an infuriating time typing and gaming.

Heh, I’m such a gamer.

“Date of Birth?”

“September 20, 1574.”

The plant companies recently struck a deal with the Crown to give lower rates to consumers. Of course, there are ponies who still refuse to pay for modern advances and protested the tax increase that came with it, but it’s cheaper for the country as a whole, so I don’t care. I mean, why even resist? At every point in history when ponies resisted change, they’ve never succeeded. Change has always happened sooner or later so I argue, why not cut to the chase? Historical precedent says you’re gonna lose, so why fight? Whatever, I’m sure there’s something I’m missing about the traditionalist argument.

Right? Probably not.

“Alright, sir, you’re all set,” she finally says, interrupting my thoughts. I chuckle and give my thanks.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she continues. “The plant has been having some problems recently, releasing the occasional magic wave that’s been disrupting some of our electronics, but it’s nothing serious.” She says with a smile that turns into a frown when she thinks about it more. “Or so I’ve been told.”

“Ah, I see. Well, thank you for your help, l-let’s hope the plant doesn’t explode on us.” I say with a chuckle that got the mare to smile again. Score.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to let you know first if it does.”

“Oh thanks, that’ll give me time to get my anti-magic-plant-exploding cream ready so I can set up a snake oil rack in the town square and sell it to ponies with their legs crushed under debris.” Now we’re actually laughing, score again.

I simply smile and wave back to her after I turn to walk away.

Alright, now that that’s settled, it’s time to get ready for the party. Deep breaths, deep breaths, you’ve got this.

I trot into a sectioned-off area of the restaurant and pull out my sheet music from my saddlebags.

Happy Birthday? Already memorized. Piano Mare? Yep. See You Again? Maybe at the end. Mr. Clear Sky? Definitely, ponies love that one. Fly Me To The Moon? I could never not! Can’t Help Falling in Love With You? Maybe when everypony is thoroughly drunk.

I look over to the piano in the corner of the room and notice a table with an extension cord already set up.

I’ll need to remember to thank the restaurant staff for that one, it’s always a pain having to disturb them while they’re working and ask for it.

Arriving at the table, I throw my sheet music onto the stand above the piano, slide my keyboard off of my back, and plug it in.

Gotta be sure to change the sound on it to percussion if I want See You Again, Mr. Clear Sky, and Piano Mare to work the way I want them to.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear somepony clear their throat behind me and I turn to face them. I'm met with a cocked eyebrow and pursed lips that quickly morph into a bright smile from a unicorn mare with a light gray coat and deep purple mane. I return the smile and clear my own throat.

“Hi, are you the one who hired me?” I ask, still smiling. She nods and extends her hoof.

“Yep! I’m Topsy Turvy. Do you need any help getting set up?” I chuckle while shaking her hoof.

“No, I’m good here, thank you. D-do you have any specific song requests?”

“Hmm, nope! From what the staff here have told me, you’ve done this hundreds of times before so I’m sure you know what you’re doing.”

“Alright, just don’t come up to me afterward refusing to pay because I didn’t play a specific song.”

“What? That seems a little backward,” she says as she laughs. I smile again.

“Yeah, well, it has happened before so I just like to put the disclaimer there just in case.”

As if it shouldn’t already be self-evident.

Topsy Turvy then dips her head and puts a hoof on her chin for a brief moment. When she brings her head back up, her lips are pursed and her brow is furrowed and she examines the brick and mortar wall to her right.

“Oh, I’ve been wondering, how do you play the piano? I thought it was always a unicorn thing since...ya know…” She trails off and rubs her hoof while suddenly finding the wooden floor very interesting. I just chuckle.

“It’s alright. I use my wings mostly, I’ve developed enough dexterity with them to use them to individually hit the keys.” Topsy’s mouth then goes “O” and her eyes widen slightly.

“Wow, that’s awesome! I didn’t think wings could-”

“HEY TOPSY, GET YOUR FLANK OVER HERE, MOM IS BEING ANNOYING!” A rather gruff voice yells from the opposite side of the room prompting Topsy’s ears to flatten.

I internally sigh in relief at the interruption.

“COMING!” She yells back with a slightly annoyed tone of her own. She sighs before turning back to me with pursed lips.

“Sorry, he’s been like this all day.” I just smirk at her predicament.

“Well, hopefully, my music can help lighten the mood.” I look over her shoulder at the chocolate brown stallion with a bright, fiery red mane, tail, and eyes who is staring a hole through the back of Topsy’s head.

As Topsy turns back towards the group of ponies around a table across the room from them I say “Have fun,” to which she just rolls her eyes. Smirking to myself, I turn back around and continue setting up my music and equipment.

Alright, that went well, hopefully, the rest of the party will be just as fine.

I only know piano, piano is all I know. I only know piano, piano is all I know. I just messed up a chord I think but whatever, it’s done now. Do better next time.

Oh hey, look! Next time! And I just messed up another chord, I NEED TO STOP DISTRACTING MYSELF. I shake my head slightly.

I’m feeling content with myself, something that will last me until I stop playing.

The entire rest of the night was a blur, and I know all too well why. While a good musician can read the room and tailor their playing to it, I got tunnel vision. It was the only way I could focus and get through the night with my nerves intact.

Some would think that after playing in front of others so often that stage fright would go away on its own. And they’d be right. If only that were actually the problem.

I’m sure the melodies and songs I played were alright but I wasn’t able to really get a read on the room while I was actually playing. If the lack of interruption and the smiling faces I briefly saw in between the last two songs were to be believed, everything was going swimmingly. But I was oh-so-wrong because that song was never meant to be the last one.

Even now, walking down the stone street toward my apartment in the warm spring sun, I still can’t understand what happened. One moment I was playing the restaurant’s piano, my wings flying up and down it as my hooves added the sparse percussion from my own keyboard. I was doing as much as I could with my already stretched thin concentration, and a strong force against my chest was what ultimately shattered it.

The next moment, however, a mare with a chocolate brown coat and mane like that of Topsy Turvy’s was yelling at me. I initially assumed it was because I had stopped playing but when I replayed the memory in my head at the moment, the music sounded terrible.

Without turning away from her, I played a quick major chord on both the restaurant piano and my own keyboard. The piano sounded awful and I was thoroughly confused. The fact that my keyboard didn’t even make a sound only further fueled my confusion. The other thing that was fueled more was the mare’s ranting. She was shouting at me about “Ruining her baby boy’s birthday” and “Tartarus’ interval had no place here.” How she even knew what that was or where she came across that false assumption, I’ll never know.

I tried to talk her down, to apologize, but the words got caught in my throat. I tried to force them out, but the dam kept the torrent of words from escaping. A brick wall completely and utterly destroyed the words before they even came out and I resigned myself to my fate. When she finished with “Out! Leave! Take your Tartarus worship elsewhere! You have thoroughly ruined this night for us!” I just sighed and turned away to start packing up my things. It was only then that I noticed that the curtains were still swaying in a phantom wind that had no place here and the utensils and other condiments on the tables had moved noticeably.

What the fuck happened?

Maybe if I hadn’t stammered I would’ve been able to talk her down? It doesn’t matter now, it’s all in the past. Usually, I’d say that I can just learn from it, but I can’t see what I can learn from this experience.

Maybe I can try to work with the fucked up notes? I know jazz tends to have a lot of funky chords and when I played that chord it sounded sort of familiar. Yeah, no, that's a huge stretch.

I sigh as I shake my head and place a wing on a small gray panel to the right of the door. After a moment, there’s an audible *click* and I push the door to my apartment open.

Whatever happened, it was probably my fault anyway, so I’d happily forgo payment for the night. I’ll get paid for the wedding anyway, assuming nothing like that happens again. It better fucking not.

I can brood about my guilt later, but now I need to go and help make a couple’s night. Just need to freshen up, throw on my bowtie, eat, and bring my equipment down with me. The band will need somepony on the drum kit this time, so I’ll be switching between that and the keyboard whenever needed.

Now, where are my drumsticks…

“Alright Mezzo, when we’re crescendoing after my solo, can you do an ascending riff on the toms?” A light blue unicorn with a deep black mane and tail tells me. He’s bent over a rectangular screen that is slightly larger than my laptop with a stylus. A guitar sits next to him with several wires protruding from it.

“Yep, I got you,” I reply while I cradle a pencil in my wing and write the note into my sheet music.

Damn how I wish I could just carry around something as simple and convenient at the Port-A-Com+. Damn guitarists have it better than us.

“And Intonation, are you able to accompany me every other beat while I’m soloing?” The same light blue unicorn asks as he turns to face a lime green pegasus with a faded yellow mane and a single black streak through it.

“Whatever you say,” I could hear Intonation roll his eyes as he too cradles a Port-A-Com+ in his wing and begins to write something in. If looks could kill, that thing would be ash by now and we all would’ve been dead from the explosion.

Luna-damn, that guy sounds tense. Hopefully, he can laugh at himself.

“Let’s just hope his hits on fuckin’ 2 and 4 aren’t too much for you, ay?” I say while chuckling to myself. Blistering Chops snorts.

Good.

Intonation on the other hoof…

“Are you trying to fuck with me?! I will fuck you up!” He yells as I visibly cringe.

Oh no, bad call.

“Woah, dude, calm down. I was just trying to lighten the mood!” I say quickly. He stops approaching me, but the scowl remains plastered on his face.

“My mood doesn’t need lightening, I am perfectly fine!” he spits back at me.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Won’t happen again.” I extend my hoof with what’s hopefully an unsure smile on my face.

He glares at it for a moment as I hold my breath. Finally, he shakes my hoof roughly and glares a hole through the floor as Blistering and I let out the breaths we were holding in.

Note to self, don’t fuck with the bassists.

We all try to go back to practicing but the tension is so thick you’d think we’re breathing O3.

Dammit, why couldn’t this just be a pleasant silence?

It seems like Blistering shares my sentiment as the breath he takes in to speak seems to split the molecules we were breathing.

“Hey, guys, a couple of hours ago,” he begins slowly. The tension seems to melt away as he wipes his brow with a hoof and takes another breath to calm himself. “Do you remember feeling like a...a...I don’t know how to describe it other than like...a force that just...like...passed over you, or something? I know it screwed with my equipment while I was practicing.” His face seems to melt in relief when I nod.

“Yeah, I felt it, at least I think I did, this morning when I was playing piano at a party. It screwed with the tunings of the piano the restaurant had and my keyboard completely turned off.”

What the hell? So he felt it too...I highly doubt these are isolated incidents. I haven’t talked to anypony else since then so I wouldn’t have gotten anything from anypony else...hold on, maybe...

“Now that you mention it, I did feel something too,” Intonation adds. “I felt a force on my chest, nothing to make me move but my computer screen only flickered for a few moments so I just dismissed it.” They both just look at each other thoughtfully until I speak up.

“I did visit the magic plant this morning and the mare said that they were having some minor problems with their computers because of some problems with the plant. Although she did also say that the problems were localized to the plant itself and not the surrounding area so I don’t think that’s the cause.”

Intonation looks at me with slightly wide eyes before frowning.

“But I was on the other side of town when that happened.” He protests. “I highly doubt the plant could send out a shockwave or whatever that powerful.” His scowl returns in full force and it’s once again aimed at me.

“Huh, well then I guess I am wrong. Good. If it was the magic plant I think we’d all be dead soon.”

Intonation growls at me before turning away again to glare at his Port-A-Com+.

Were you expecting me to fire back?

Whatever. If it wasn’t the magic plant, then what the hell was it? A new God descending from the Heavens?

What the fuck is happening?!

I will never understand how ponies enjoy these kinds of social gatherings. It’s a large group of ponies who all have social expectations and enjoy fucking dancing; it’s really baffling to me. Like sure, go to the wedding, praise the couple for being together but fuck formalities dude!

Wait, no, that’s insensitive. They’re here because they genuinely care about the couple, just like the musicians.

The music can more than make up for all that, I guess. That's how I always got through marching band camp in the summer. Focusing on how everything comes together is too satisfying to let the rest of my circumstances get me down.

Oh shit, I missed a fill.

Come on! I’m so fucking stupid that I miss a fill while doing one of the simplest and most widely known drum grooves on the fucking planet?! Fuck, I hate myself.

Alright, Blistering is starting his solo, time to tacet. 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 2, 3, 4…Oh look at me, the percussion section doing what we do best, counting rests! Oh boy! 6, 2, 3, 4, 7, 2, 3, 4...the crescendo is coming up, just one more measure.

And...fill on the toms! Keep going! I think the crowd is loving it, judging by the cheers that are already happening. And...cut! Done! Well, not done done, but done with this song. Heh.

I smile to myself at the cheer emanating from the dance floor below and start preparing myself for the next song. That is until I hear Blistering say “Take 5, guys,” to me and Intonation before trotting off to grab something from his lunch bag.

I sigh in relief and reach over to the table behind me to retrieve my water bottle.

Still cold, fuck yeah, thanks enchantments. It’d be so cool to actually use magic. Sure, I could technically manipulate clouds but I’ve never needed to, and being able to conjure shit and do rituals, it just seems really cool. With magic, I could theoretically play all my instruments at once! How sick and cool would that be?

Letting out a breath after removing the bottle from my lips, I take a second to examine the room around me. I hadn’t really gotten a chance since we came in a little late and had to start immediately, something that still ticked me off.

The elevated platform we’re on seems to be of a similar material to the stage from my high school auditorium. The kind that makes it hard to tap your hoof to keep tempo without sounding like my pounding heartbeat when I was at high school prom.

Bad times.

Chuckling to myself, I examine the room again. The lower floor of the venue seems to be hardwood, at least from what I can tell from only multi-colored disco lights. There are circles of ponies sparingly placed around the room with a few of them lingering around the white table-clothed snack tables in the back.

All the ponies in attendance are wearing some version of what they consider “formal attire”. But the most intriguing part of the room is the numerous multicolored-robed ponies. When I squint enough, I see lavender, pink, bright white, and I think a deep, navy blue. Curious, I’ve never seen them before. When I tear my gaze away from them, I spot the couple of the hour across the room, chatting with some friends while snacking on a carrot platter. A small smile graces my lips.

If I can help make their night special by providing the best Celestia-damn music I possibly fucking can then damn it, I’m going to do it! Yeah, let’s fucking go!

I ignore the small burning feeling in my chest as I get up from my small faux-leather padded stool at the drum kit and trot over to my keyboard adjacent to it. I grin as Blistering trots up to the microphone in the center of the stage, careful to avoid the minefield of wires.

“Mares and Gentlecoats, are we having a good time?” He says enthusiastically into the mic with a large grin of his own.

Even Intonation seems to be smiling. I wish I could radiate as much pure charisma as this guy.

The crowd cheers.

“While this will be our last song for the night,” he says.

The crowd gives a collective “awwww”.

“We do hope you all have enjoyed our music tonight and we hope that we have thoroughly celebrated this special night. Speaking of, this last song was requested by the bride specifically for the groom. With that in mind, we hope you enjoy Elvis Trotsly’s Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.”

In the back of the room, I can see a bewildered stallion being led across the hardwood floor towards the dance floor by a single mare, bright, multi-colored lights dancing across their faces. The stallion tries to look at anything else except for his wife and eventually lands on my eyes.

Yeah, I hate dancing too, bro. But you owe it to her to at least try.

I give a small smile and nod at him firmly. After a moment he nods and smiles back and seems to steel himself. Now with a more confident look on his face, he puffs his chest out and takes charge in leading her towards the dance floor.

What a chad.

Returning my attention to the instruments and musicians around me, we all nod before I see Blistering mouth “three, four” and exaggeratedly raise his head rhythmically on “four”. When his chin hits an invisible floor I play the first chord of the song and Blistering adds his embellishments under my melody.

I cringe internally at the sound of an electric guitar playing this song. I do not think an electric guitar’s timbre works at all with this song but everyone has to have a part, it wouldn’t look professional to just have one pony sitting off to the side just watching. Besides, it doesn’t sound half bad. I’d just prefer that and my preferences aren’t important.

Oh, there’s Intonation playing the same notes over and over again. Oh, great bassist, how could we ever survive without thee?

Relishing the fact that for the moment I could go through this section of the song through muscle memory, I allow myself to relax and listen to our sound. It seems Blistering has lowered his amp’s volume slightly before starting to sing the lyrics, and I am loving it. Where before his notes seemed to cut through what we were playing, almost like scissors through fabric, now he seems to be gliding feathers along the fabric, adding to the sound.

Ooh, that resonance, yes! This is perfect.

The feeling in my chest seems to grow hotter now and I’m not concerned at all! I fucking love making music, woohoo!

It seems Intonation shares my sentiment, as he begins adding his own silky smooth embellishments when Blistering starts to sing the second verse.

Oooh, listen to that fucking rich chocolate in my ears, YES! Perfect, absolutely perfect! I think I’m sweating now but damn it I don’t care! I haven’t felt this Twilight-damn alive in my life!

Thankfully, I haven’t screwed up anything so far so I return my attention to my keyboard as Blistering approaches the bridge of the song.

Time for some different chords!

Blistering relegates his guitar to a minor (heh) role while he sings the bridge, and I take the opportunity to add something special of my own to the song as well on top of Intonation’s beautifully rich bass playing.

I think I’m doing well, as when I steal a glance at the crowd they all seem to be staring at me with wide eyes.

Oh, come on! I’m not that important, dance! This is your night to enjoy yourselves, dance!

I roll my eyes in my head. Whatever.

I get really into playing and I now have to squint to see the keyboard.

Odd, did somepony shine a spotlight on me? Whatever, I don’t care! I feel burning butterflies in my stomach as we approach my favorite part of the song, the ending. And I’m not being sarcastic this time! Come on, we’re so close!

Blistering takes a breath before he starts to sing the last verse, but he never gets the chance to. Before that happens, I feel a huge force on my entire body. It almost takes the air out of my lungs and pushes me and the keyboard toward the edge of the stage. Intonation seems to lose his hoofing and falls to the ground with a resounding *CRRRR* as his hoof strikes the strings on its way down.

Blistering isn’t any better as he’s forced off of the stage and manages to land on his hooves in the middle of the dance floor, the guitar’s amp cord having long since made itself at home on the ground.

But worst of all is the resounding *CRASH* that the glass makes as it fucking spills out on the floor with reckless abandon. Unicorn members of the venue cleaning staff have already started the tedious work of removing the mines from the most populated areas of the room.

Looking at all the chaos below, I clench my teeth.

Nu-uh! This ain’t ruining my fucking night! You know what? I don’t care, this is happening whether the universe wants it or not! I take a deep breath and prepare myself. Alright, you can do this, you can-

“Shall...I...stay...would it be...a...sin…” I sing out into the room as the frozen ponies across the floor turn to look at me. I might be terrible, I might sound like a goddess-send, I don’t know, nor do I care. Blistering seems to catch my drift as he smiles and adds his own vocals to the performance. I hear shifting behind me to my right before rich chocolate once again pours into my ears.

Call me crazy, but is that melody I hear? What? I’m not on the keyboard? Why does my body seem to be trembling at an impossible frequency? Who cares! I have more important things to worry about!

“If I...can’t...help...falling in love…” We sing out as ponies start to join us. First, it’s a filly near the front, then the Mare standing next to her, and then it was the entire room.

YEAH! LET’S GO! Wait, what? The sun is coming up already?! How long have we been playing for?

The burning in my chest seems to grow at an exponential rate and I’m pretty sure by now I’ve spoiled my bowtie with sweat but I don’t care right now. This is too perfect!

“With...you…!” I shout to the heavens as I close my eyes.

Ohhh, that was so fucking good! I open my eyes and-wait no, my eyes are still closed. Then why is it getting brighter? And why do I feel like I’m on fire?

When I open my eyes, the light in the room seems to reach a critical point as ponies scream and cover their eyes.

What the fuck is happening?

At that moment my body collapses and I know nothing.

A searing pain.

A pond, a pool! No, a reservoir, an ocean.

Flora sprouting up around it.

A warm feeling in my chest, what is happening?

The small ocean waves crashing on the shore, the soft breeze, the birds chirping, and leaves rustling.

Paradise.

The sounds swelled into a consonant symphony, welling up inside me.

I smile, I think, and flare my wings out, finally taking a deep breath.

It’s the loudest breath I’ve ever taken.

My eyes shoot open as I groan while a splitting headache slowly recedes. It’s not fast enough for my tastes. I take a few deep breaths before I allow my eyes to wander. A grid is carved into the dirt and sand while trees are expertly dodging the grid as if they aren’t allowed to grow into it. But the weirdest thing is that I can’t hear anything. Nothing is making any noise! At that moment I become painfully aware of my own heartbeat pounding in my ears like an engine.

The trees themselves seem to tower into the sky, soaking up the rays of the hot sun.

Wait, sun? It was nighttime last I checked! I was playing at a wedding. Then, the shockwave or something, and now I’m here. How?

Right before I feel myself start to freak out, a gentle throat-clearing tears me from my thoughts. There, standing in front of me is Princess Twilight. How had I not noticed her? She is massive, more massive than I could’ve previously imagined. She stands almost a full two heads above me and her signature dark purple mane with a single fuschia streak flows behind her. She adjusts her golden regalia on her chest and smiles down at me with her vibrant lavender eyes.

Suddenly, rational thought returns to me for a brief second and my wings drop to the ground as the rest of my body drops into a bow. I think I hear her stifle a giggle before she speaks up.

“Please, Mezzo, there is no need.”

That isn’t so much a voice as it is a chorus of resonance that forces its way into my head to live rent-free for the rest of my short-ass life. Said chorus breathes life into the area. It seems to echo off each tree and resonate and ricochet off a million different things all at once. Slowly, I rise from the ground and fold my wings, my mouth agape.

I open and close my mouth several times in an attempt to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.

Ah, I see. It seems the brick wall has returned. Damn, I was hoping to go the entire rest of the night without that.

The Princess giggles, likely at my expression, and takes a breath, “It’s alright, Mezzo, just take a deep breath with me and calm down.” She folds her hoof up to her chest and I take that as my cue to copy her. Our breaths are completely in sync as we extend our hooves simultaneously, everything melting into a single sound. The pounding in my ears becomes less obvious.

“Where are we?” I finally ask.

She smiles at me again, “That doesn’t matter right now,” The chorus becomes a bit more playful.

I cock an eyebrow.

What is she doing?

“What does matter is helping you through this.”

I let out a breath through my nose.

“And what exactly is this?” I ask incredulously.

She giggles again, why does she keep doing that?

“Do you trust me?” She asks, her eyes boring themselves into mine as if to examine my very soul.

Why do I feel so exposed?

“I’m not sure, Princess. I don’t even know where I am or how I got here.” I tell her. My voice is almost deafening.

“I understand your confusion, Mezzo, but I need you to set that aside right now. The situation we’re in is very delicate and we can’t afford any distractions.”

“You still haven’t answered my question, what kind of situation is this? What’s going on?”

“I could tell you, but that would ruin the surprise.” I simply purse my lips in response.

“Are you really pulling this right now?” I deadpan.

“Mezzo, when have the four Princesses ever led anypony astray? Think about it.”

My ears fold back and I dip my head a little.

The four of them have kept Equestria at peace together since they all came to power 500 years ago. All the technological and magical advancements, all the ponies that they’ve helped, all the good the churches do, all because of them.

But remember what mom said!

My mind starts to wander but I ruthlessly crush those thoughts.

No! I refused to listen then and I refuse to listen now.

I take a deep breath and raise my gaze to meet Princess Twilight’s.

“Okay, Princess, I trust you.”

“Great, then follow me.” I simply nod and trot after her. I have to maintain some level of effort on my part just to keep up with her enormous stride. After what couldn’t have been more than forty seconds, we arrive at a clearing in the trees where the sun’s rays are focused onto a small triangle-shaped crater in the middle of the clearing.

What? Am I supposed to be in that spot?

“I assume you know what to do,” she states more than asks.

I hum in agreement and slowly walk into the clearing and sit on my haunches in the middle of the crater. Weirdly enough, I don’t immediately start sweating.

“Close your eyes,” she instructs, “and feel your surroundings. Let it flow around you.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, Princess,” I say, slightly annoyed. But I try anyway.

She seems to know this as she doesn’t press the topic further.

I assume I have to ‘clear my mind’ now and ‘let myself go’ or something like I’m in a shitty novel or something. Sighing to myself, I try exactly that.

I guess it can’t hurt.

…

…

Alright, it’s been two minutes and I still don’t understand what she-wait, is that? I-I can see myself, what?! I am clearly here, but I’m also over there, in that crater, what the fuck??!!

Alright, calm down, deep breaths, remember what Princess Twilight told you. Trust her. Alright, I trust her. Now what?

At that moment, I see some sort of stream through the air.

What? I can only assume that’s magic but, how am I seeing it? I’m just a pegasus!

I feel drawn to it in a way I can never articulate and I can tell it’s my magic, that it’s a part of me. I’m not sure how, but I can only describe it as a feeling; just innate knowledge, like when I’m improvising and I just know what to play.

I reach a hoof out to one of the streams, certain that I can interact with it. When my hoof makes contact, I look over to Twilight who, to my surprise, is looking at me dead in the eyes with a smile. She simply nods. Huh, it seems she knew this would happen.

I turn to look away from Twilight but I’m slightly startled by the light gray pegasus in front of me with a black mane with a single blue streak running through it and piercing golden eyes. I look down and I can see my hoof tracing a line from the vertex of the crater to a part of the grid a ways away from me. What am I doing?

Again, I trust Twilight and let my body do its own thing.

Maybe it’s the magic streams in the air I touched that compelled me or something? I’m not entirely sure and I doubt I ever would be. Whatever.

When my hoof drops a little and hits the other side of the gridline I intersected, I blink, and suddenly I’m repeating the process on the other vertex. Then the top, making a pseudo triangle shape with me, my body, whatever it was, at the center of it.

What surprised me the most, however, was the water that suddenly flows in and slowly fills the grid and crater like a small irrigation system. I look over to Princess Twilight again, and she nods but doesn’t stay silent this time.

“Now, Mezzo, comes the final part of this. Spread your wings, you will know what to do.” Her tone makes me shiver as if her chorus has suddenly paused and was awaiting the cue from the conductor.

Alright, time to be the conductor.

I spread my wings and without thinking, I’m speeding as fast as I can toward the sun and its rays seem to focus on me. Though, I’m starting to think that maybe I gave the cue wrong to the chorus if Twilight’s fruitless calls were any indication.

“Wait, stop! Watch out!” She calls.

I think my cue was too forceful. But alas I can’t stop. I’m not in control.

Oh shit.

The last thing I remember seeing is a pillar of light and a familiar searing pain.

Author's Note

Lyrics from Can't Help Falling in Love With You performed by Elvis Presley and written by Luigi Creatore/Hugo E. Peretti/George David Weiss

Constructive feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

If you have any comments, I'd love to hear about them!

EDIT: I've gone back and made small corrections, including changing the italicization of Mezzo's thoughts.

Chapter 2: Pain, Lots of Pain, and Only Pain

Noises.

Shouting.

That’s all I can make out.

What is happening?

I realize it’s dark.

Too dark? Huh? Oh yeah.

I open my eyes and immediately slam them back together as I hiss from a splitting pain in the front of my head.

What happened?

As the pain subsides slightly I try to focus on the voices around me. I can barely make out what they’re saying, let alone actually comprehend it.

“Is that...?”

“I tho...h...ied!”

“H...alive?”

“...ow is...alive?”

What the fuck is happening?

How did I get here again? Wait, I was playing at the venue for the wedding! How the Tartarus did I get here?!

Okay, something is very wrong.

I open my eyes, slowly this time, and the voices around me become clearer until I can make out hushed murmurs from the crowd around me.

Wait, why is there like a 10-meter gap between myself and the crowd?

I start to move my hooves under me to stand up but when I look down, I pause. Looking out from my position to the edge of the gap the crowd left, I see black scorch marks on the stone.

“What the fuck…” I mutter under my breath.

As I stand up, I feel my muscles protest but I ignore them, gritting my teeth.

I have bigger problems right now, like “why?” and “what?”

When I raise my head up to look at the ponies around me, some of their jaws drop, others’ eyes widen and others still cover the eyes of their foals and turn them away.

Oh come on, I’m not that ugly!

“What?!” I cry. “What are you all…?” I trail off and my voice dies in my throat. I follow their eyes with my hoof and when I feel my forehead, I freeze.

Long, cylindrical, periodic grooves. Most definitely wasn’t there before...

Yep, I’m definitely fucked. I slowly look up and to my complete and utter horror and confusion, a fucking horn fills my gaze, piercing the heavens with its unholy bullshit.

What the fuck is this shit?! I didn’t ask for this!

But when my hoof touches my horn, the crowd takes a collective step back and some of the ponies gasp. What, do they think I’m-

“He’s trying to overthrow them!”

“Back away, he’s dangerous!”

“Stay away from us, fowl beast! You will not tarnish the good names of the immortal Alicorns while we are around!”

To my horror, the pastors have pushed their way to the front of the crowd and are now beginning to fuel the flames of this clusterfuck. I try to say something, anything to push back at them but that brick wall decides to rear its ugly head again.

Why can’t I just speak like a normal pony?! Great, just FUCKING great!

I freeze in fear as memories of similar incidents make their way to the forefront of my mind. Two years ago, some power-hungry governor tried to consolidate as much power as he could before being disavowed by the local churches and the Princesses soon removed him from power. A few months ago, a family maliciously set a forest on fire to celebrate the birth of their foal. At least, that’s what the church-sponsored tabloids said. And now I’m being lumped in with them.

Why did my parents have to be right?

When I refocus myself, I see two ponies standing over me wearing purple and black robes. Looking into their eyes, I can’t help but pause. I can sense a burning hatred, a passion, and most of all, fear.

Intense fear.

A fear so all-encompassing and consuming that I almost succumb to it as well.

And it's all being directed at me.

I can see their mouths moving and their hooves extended, but nothing else registers in my mind beyond the intense emotion being directed at me right now.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and focus myself, the pain in my head now dulled to a manageable level.

Wait, I saw those robes earlier, at the wedding! I don’t think they can be anything other than church members, nopony else wears anything that colorful, let alone robes.

Alright, if I run now, it’ll look like whatever bullshit they’re doing is working, lending credibility to them. Maybe if I try and talk it out...eh, highly unlikely that’ll work, why would one pony suddenly change their worldview? Not to mention the other preachers have almost definitely gotten the local guards to come and arrest me for disturbing the peace or something. Crafty bastards, I guess I’ll take the former.

Before they can start another verse, I spread my wings. Ignoring the cries of fear from around me I fly up and speed toward my apartment as fast as I can. It isn’t far, thankfully, but before I could make it any further, rhythmic thumping fills my eardrums and I look down more towards the streets and see a small platoon of ponies clad in black, green, and brown camo, marching towards the center of town

Before I can do anything to react, one of them points up at me and shouts something. When the rest of them look up at me, I start to speed in the opposite direction, back towards the center of town.

Oh fuck, alright, change of plans. I think the Whitetail Woods is east of here or something if I’m not mistaken.

The panicked wingbeats of the local militia behind me rush into my ears as I speed away. While they’ll definitely be able to catch up to me, losing them in the forest is my only hope.

Dammit, dammit, dammit! Oh yes, a random pony shows up in the middle of town or something in a looking all terrified and shit? Sure, let’s not be reasonable and try to talk it out! I thought we moved on as a society but apparently not!

Alright, I think I lost them.

I think.

Probably not, knowing my luck. So now the problem is how the fuck I’m going to survive out here while still hiding from the guard. Wait, how haven’t they found me yet? Surely they have unicorns capable of doing magical scans of the area, right? Maybe they just haven’t gotten here yet? If so, I should really figure out how to manage my newest accessory.

But assuming the unicorns aren’t here yet, that means I have some time to figure this out. Making camp down on the ground seems like the best course of action since I’d be too easy to spot from a cloud. Or maybe I should keep moving, leave no trace and make it harder to track me. Oh wait, how long am I going to have to live like this? Forever? Wait, aren’t Alicorns immortal or something?

Oh fuck.

Alright, deep breaths, calm down. Making permanent camp is clearly out of the question, so that leaves temporary camps for days or weeks at a time or being constantly on the move. I think I like my chances more with staying on the move but I’m not sure if I have the skillset for that. Eh, I’ll manage.

“Famous last words…” I mutter to myself.

Nope, still no signal, looks like I’ll just be relying on my memory for all of this. Maybe all of those video essays I watched could be of assistance?

Hm, maybe I could-

The blood in my veins chill and I freeze on the spot. A rustling from behind me captures my attention.

Do something, dipshit! Something’s coming! MOVE!

I whirl around and start slowly backing up from the bush.

Manticore? I’d probably already be its dinner... Local militia? I’d have heard them shouting commands or seen them advancing. Probably. Timberwolves? I don’t think they live around he-

Whatever’s in the bush leaps out at me and tries to take my throat in its wooden jaws.

Wait. Wooden? Oh fuck me sideways, it’s a FUCKING TIMBERWOLF!

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I shout before letting out a growl.

By the skin of my teeth, I sidestep the timberwolf’s attack, but not before its claws reach out in a desperate attempt to grab me, drawing blood from my front left hoof.

Fuck, that hurt! Now it’s attacking again!

I go to sidestep the attack again, but making a last-millisecond decision that even I don’t see coming, I try jumping over the timberwolf instead.

Yeah, this’ll work! I think I saw it in-AH FUCK!

“Celestia-dammit! Fuck me!” I shout as I raise my right hoof up to see it covered in blood.

Fuck, that hurts. I hiss in pain. Motherfucker, alright that’s it. I have this damn horn, time to put it to good fucking use!

I close my eyes and start concentrating on the magic around me.

Alright, I think I just need to trust Twilight.

Breathe.

Trust Twilight.

I take a deep breath and pull on the magic around me, directing its flow towards the top of my head. When the magic touches my horn, however, I feel a pang and my head erupts, literally and figuratively. I hear a squeal and cry as I am launched backward and my back slams into a tree.

Holy shit, everything hurts.

My head is throbbing so much to where I think I can feel a blood vessel bursting. My hearing has been reduced to an incessant ringing that won’t SHUT UP and my vision is starting to become blurry.

Ah fuck, come on!

I go to breathe, but…I can’t. I can’t breathe! Why can’t I breathe! Oh fuck, oh fu-

Wait, I just got the wind knocked out of me, calm down! Breath. Deep breaths.

The taste of copper in my mouth doesn’t help very much.

I slowly stand up, grunting in pain all the while, and open my eyes. I’m met with wooden claws, teeth, and piercing yellow eyes that make my skin crawl.

Oh shit!

In a desperate attempt to once again dodge, I turn to my left to try and leap away but my left forehoof gives out when I put weight on it.

AH, dammit, not now! Fly dammit!

I definitely don’t have eno-

I let out a piercing cry of agony as I feel razor-sharp teeth penetrate my wing muscles and start ripping the muscle away.

AH, MOTHER FUCKER! FUCK YOU!

Without really thinking, I remain still long enough for gravity to take over on the wolf’s body and for myself to rear up on my forehooves and buck backward with all of my might. My heart drops when I feel no resistance.

AGAIN!

This time my back hooves are met with resistance and I hear the satisfying shatter of wood being split, like when a lumberjack splits a log with their ax.

For a few minutes, I just sit there lying on the ground and taking deep breaths. After the first minute, I can still focus on nothing more than the pain.

Dammit, focus on something else! Breathe!

However, my focus can’t be ripped away from the oozing hot liquid I can feel running down my back.

This sucks.

My vision starts to get blurry and suddenly my hooves feel very heavy.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I am not fainting, not again. If I faint I might as well be dead. Deep breaths focus on your breathing. You’re okay, you’re okay. You’re fine.

I need sugar.

Looking around desperately, I try to look for some fruit and pray to fuck it’s not poisonous as well. Come on, come on! There must be somethin-wait, is that-?

I spy some wild berries on the bush I think the timberwolf emerged from. Ignoring the pain in my forehooves, I limp over to the bush. When I’m right in front of it, I reach my hoof out and breathe a sigh of relief when I actually feel something.

Oh thank fuck, I wasn’t hallucinating.

I then pick two from the bush and open my mouth to throw the berr-wait, no bad idea. Eat part of one to see if it's poisonous or not. Although, I doubt I could even survive anything poisonous right now.

I chuckle.

Taking another deep breath, I take a slow and methodical bite of one of the berries and chew slowly. A few minutes and many deep breaths after swallowing later, I’m not writhing on the ground holding my gut so I think I’m good. I greedily yoink a hoof full of berries from the bush and throw them in my mouth before sitting down.

I think that should do the trick.

A few minutes and many more deep breaths later, I feel the blood rushing to my head again. A cool feeling of relief washes over me as I start to stand up again. The ringing in my ears now relegates itself to the back of my head and I can now feel myself coming back to reality.

Alright, crisis averted. Oh, wait.

I look back at my mangled wings spread out on my back, a small pool of blood making itself known below me.

DAMMIT!

Now, what around here can help me stop the bleeding?

“Why do you think he did it?”

“I dunno, but I do know that I don’t care.”

“Don’t care?! Did you see how angry the General was? It’s only in times like these where he almost pops a blood vessel. Almost makes you question all the training he gets from the churches.”

“Well, that’s the General’s problem. I’m just here to send the bits back…”

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, how the fuck did they not see me?

Two soldiers clad in black velvet uniforms with gold accents just walked underneath my perch in a tree near the edge of one of the forest trails.

They’re probably a part of some secret organization or something specializing in hunting down dumb idiots who disturb the public, i.e. me. But more importantly, how the fuck did they not see me? Surely they would’ve been trained to look up, right? Are they purposely not looking at me or something? If they did spot me…

I whip my head behind me and frantically dart my eyes around.

Nope, I don’t see any guards. Although I doubt I’d see them if I really wanted to.

Wait.

SHIT, keep moving, keep moving!

I leap from the branch I’m perched on and spread my wings. Or at least that’s what I was aiming for. My left wing is fine, thankfully, but my right wing immediately shoots a jolt of pain through me. I let out a cry and plummet to the ground with a hearty THUD, kicking up a small cloud of dirt in the process. Much to my dismay, I start violently coughing.

“Oh...fuck” I wheeze out. I take in a huge breath in an attempt to rid myself of whatever is choking me, but in the split second of silence between the breath and the eventual coughing, I hear a sharp CRACK behind me. I whip around to face where the noise came from, still violently coughing.

Oh shit, it’s the soldiers, they heard me. Of course, they fucking heard me!

I try to back up but I can’t muster up the energy to do much. My vision starts to blur as a dozen guards clad in armored camo and equipped with weapons I’ve never seen before emerge from the brush in front of me and quickly encircle me.

“Keep ‘em right here! I want him to be easy pickings!” I hear a gruff female voice shout from somewhere in front of me.

I keep trying my best to scamper backward despite my body’s protests but a sharp poke to my ass stops me in my tracks.

Oh fuck.

I can now barely make out an opening in the formation right in front of me. A way out? If I try to run now…

But project “Run Away Screaming While You Still Can” ends before it can ever begin as somepony new emerges from the bushes. At this point, I can barely make out the blur in front of me. It’s just pink and green and black and brown and almost majestic despite it all.

Wait, that’s not a normal soldier, is it? Oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh-

“Princess…?” I sputter out before my wounds finally catch up with me.

Author's Note

Now listen, I know what you’re thinking: “Alicorn OC?! Oh piss off you dick!” Or something like that but before you yell at me (which I don’t blame you for in the slightest), I ask that you give me a chance.

I know the stigma around them, I’ve read people’s concerns and while I am writing this simply for my own enjoyment I also don’t want to turn people away. Just know that I will be trying my absolute best to stray away from the bad writing that typically follows Alicorn OC stories.

With that being said:
Constructive feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

EDIT: Made some minor changes, including changing the italicization of Mezzo's thoughts.