Equestria's Hitman.

by The_Chill_Author

Rating: teen
Tags: King Sombra, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex, Dragon Ball Z, Anthro, Main 6, Cheerilee, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Human, Drama
Length: 39433

[Displaced] Hello, my name is Hit, and I'm a Hitman. I serve under no one and I always finish the job. I serve for the highest bidder, who ever pays enough, will find their enemies head at their doorstep. I am Equestria's Hitman.

Hello, my name is Hit and I am a Hitman. I was known as Tim, but isn't much better than Hit. I am an assassin, though I wasn't always like this. I dressed up as Hit and went to Comic-Con, I made the mistake of purchasing Hit's Assignment Device, with it, I was sent to Equestria. After training in solitude I decided to become a Hitman, it's in my nature. One fateful day I get a mission by the Princess of the Sun, Princess Celestia Sol. Princess Celestia gives me a contract and I make the mistake of signing it. After completing the job, she forces me to learn to Magic of Friendship with Twilight Sparkle and her friends in Ponyville.

Oh boy...

Now open to crossovers.

Crossover List.

The ultimate surprise - Fimfiction

Published 2021-04-09 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-12 05:35:38 UTC

Prologue.

Author's Note

Quick warning, the first few chapters aren't that great. :P

Prologue.

Cold.

I felt the snow hit my skin as I walked across the Frozen North in search of King Sombra, my target. It was assigned to me by someone who would like to stay anonymous. As I walked across the frozen wasteland that is the Frozen North the snowstorm grew more and more dangerous by the second. I felt the cold effect my body, my fingers were numb, and my mouth seemed to be frozen shut. I've been following King Sombra for quite some time, he fled my assault once, but not again. I'm currently en route to his location. In the distance I see a light in the storm, I looked down, there were his hoofprints. If I stop now the snowstorm will cover his fiendish tracks however, I am not a masochist. I go on advance to the light for if there is light, there is shelter. As I approached it, I already felt the warmness hit my skin. I was close, the light came from a small cottage, it struck me as odd, given that we were in the middle of the forest. As I walked up to the door, I took a little peek inside. I see a mare fixing up a meal, a stallion with coffee in hand, and a filly sitting on the stallion's lap, reading the newspaper there, I smile softly at that. I then go onto knock on the door. Knock, Knock, Knock.

"Someone's knockin' on the door Ma!" The filly turned to the mare, the mare turned to the door, putting her hands on her hips.

"Now who must be knockin' on that door? There's a monstrous snowstorm out there, whoever's out there needs help." The mare marches up to the door and opens the door, she opens the door and sees me shivering. "Oh my! Come right on in you poor thing!" The mare grabs onto me and pulls me inside of her home. She then closes the door behind me, it being slammed shut due to the howling winds. The mare looks at me with a worried expression on her face.

"Excuse me sir, but are you alright? What were you doing in that snowstorm? Go take a seat." She gestures over to her couch that was next to a fireplace, I walk over there sluggishly and I take a seat there. Sighing in relief I laid my head back, I then feel a tad bit warmer as the filly gives me her blanket.

"Thank you, young one." I look down at the filly and she nods with a smile that could brighten the darkest of days. "And to answer your questions miss, I'm fine, the cold never really bother me anyway," I say, as the fireplace next to me lit up.

"Your body says otherwise Mr. Purple man." They filly pointed out, pointing a finger at my hand. My fists were still clenched from knocking and I had to pry them open just to open my palm. I look to the filly and I let out a soft chuckle.

"That is very true, to answer your last question miss, I was out on a walk and got lost when the snowstorm hit, I was searching around for hours to get to some form of shelter. I was lucky I found you guys out here." I lied to them, but they all seemed to believe me.

"Well, I think it's time we introduce ourselves. My name is Crimson Moon, a pleasure to meet you." The mare I now know as Crimson Moon did a curtsy. The filly spoke up next.

"My name is Blue Moon, nice to meet ya." Blue Moon tipped her non-existing hat to me, the stallion spoke up next with a grin.

"And the name's New Moon, we're the Moon family, and don't go worrying, I changed my last name to hers. I was known as New Day, now I'm New Moon. Would ya care for some hot chocolate?" New Moon asked me, I just nodded, New Moon gets up and walks to the kitchen. Crimson Moon spoke up.

"So, tell us about yourself." Crimson Moon asked me, I sighed and got ready to pull out all my lying cards.

"My name is... Tim, and I'm 24 years old." I lied, I was far older, a hundred years old in fact. Crimson Moon tilts her head.

"My, my, you're so young. So why did you decide to go take a walk?" Crimson Moon asks me, I sigh, taking a look at her.

"There is a lot troubling me these days, I feel like the whole world is going up in flames, first it was the Sirens, then it was Discord, and now King Sombra. if you can even call him a King now, more like a tyrant." I commented, my red eyes looking into her crimson eyes. She nods with a sigh.

"Yes that is very true, but it is all thanks to this hero named Hit everything is coming together, he subdued the sirens with the aide of the Princesses, he bests Discord in his own game, and I just know for a fact that he is somewhere out there in that snowstorm. Not resting, not stopping until he finds that tyrant." Crimson Moon smiled, looking out of the window, I tensed up.

"You do know he is an assassin right? He was aiming to kill them but they managed to slip out of his grasp, Hit's probably out there searching for the bastard." I told Crimson Moon, she raises an eyebrow.

"He is? Huh, how do you know?" Crimson Moon asked me, I just turned to her with a deadpan.

"I hired him to do a job," I said blankly, my monotone and chill voice unchanging. Crimson Moon nodded before turning to New Moon.

"Is the hot chocolate ready?" She asked the stallion, the stallion looked back to his mate.

"Yup!" New Moon walks over to me with a plate under the hot chocolate, he sets it down on the chocolate table before me. "Be careful it's hot." I look at the hot chocolate then I look at him, I take the hot chocolate and I down the whole thing unflinchingly. They look at me with shock, I then stand to my feet.

"I believe I may have overstayed my welcome, I must take my leave now." I turn around to the door, but the filly stopped me, I slowly look down at her.

"You'll need some weather clothes." She looks up at me, I just look down at Blue Moon, before sighing.

The things I do for children...

As I crossed the frozen wasteland once more, I was a bit warmer but still cold. The hot chocolate still in my stomach made me feel warmer, the extra clothes helped me a lot more. Such a shame they only have one pair, the snowstorm wasn't as bad as when I walked the Frozen North but still storming nonetheless. I sensed Sombra's malicious Ki somewhere, he had three Ki signatures with him as well. I closed my eyes, attempting to sense their energy... My eyes opened wide, I had pinpointed my target. My Ki aura flared up and I shot off to the location I sensed their Ki at, as I flew there. I then suddenly stopped, I had arrived at my destination, but where is the entrance to King Sombra's hiding place? I take a single step and I find out. When I took the one step I had fell into a hole and down an icy slide. It had reminded me of the one in the first Ice Age movie. As I shot down the slide I didn't make a sound except for a single grunt.

"Hnrgh!" I grunted out as I slid down the slide, going through a multitude of different slides before finally reaching the cavern that hides the Dark King. Sombra had rested himself on top of an icy throne, there were three guards armed to the teeth. I stood to my feet and I wipe the ice off of me.

"Hm, so you finally arrived, I thought you might have bailed out on me." Sombra grinned maliciously, I just glared up at him. I stood there silent, "The silent treatment again? Come on, I know you can speak. So speak!" Sombra commanded, I let out a small growl.

"I don't bail out on my missions, Sombra, and I certainly don't bail out on my battles." I spat, looking up at Sombra. The King merely laughed at me, he looked down at me. Both of our blood-red eyes met.

"It's called a tactical retreat, my dear, and now, there is no more retreating. This is it, my final stand. Now, seize him my loyal subjects!" The King ordered and the three guards ran at me, raising their swords high. Their shields were tucked close to their chests, so he did tell them, didn't he? One guard swiped down at me. I swiftly evaded the attack and was met with another sword attack from a guard that somehow came behind me. I leaped above them and I struck them both in their foreheads with my boots. The guard in front of me tried to stab me in my dick, however, I was prepared for that assault and I kicked him in the forehead as well. The guards stumbled back, the glared at me, circling me like sharks. I just stood there unfazed.

"You're nothing but a petty assassin, you can't take us! Rush him!" They all run at me and swing their blades, I proceed to avoid their attacks easily. Though they're attacking me from all sides, they're just a warm-up, an appetizer more like it. Unfortunately for one guard, they left their body exposed and I took that opportunity to activate my Time-Skip. I then struck the guard in the chest, his pupils appeared and disappeared rapidly, I then make him meet the ceiling by launching an uppercut to the jaw. The guards were sent to the heavens and hit the ceiling, his head stuck on the wall, unconscious. The guards take a step back from me, I proceed to turn my body towards them. Their eyes open wide, I lunged at one of the guards, the guard raised its shield but it was futile. I punched a hole through the shield and I punched the guard in the gut, then I stuck him in the place where his heart would be. The guard took a step back, his eyes rolled back and he foamed from the mouth before falling on his back. Dead. I turned to the guard and the guard ran to the Dark King.

"I need to get out of here! My liege, please save me!" The Dark King stood to his feet and walked down his drone to the guard in front of him.

"I have no use for cowards." Sombra looked down at him in disgust, he forms a sword in hand, ice forming the blade before becoming blood red. Sombra then spun around and cut the guard's head off, the guard up at him as his decapitated head hit the ground.

"King Sombra... The fuck?" The guard managed out as Sombra stomped on the head of the guard, crushing it. Sombra looked up at me, he then licked the blood off his blade. I frowned at him.

"Well, well, well, it looks like it's just you and me now. One shall stand..." Sombra shifted his stance, grinning as his wavy mane flew up.

"And one shall fall." I finished as I went into a boxing stance, Sombra let out a battle cry as a blood-red aura enveloped him. Sombra dashed at me, I ran at him, cocking my fist back. Blade and fist met, it shook the cavern, the stalactites shook at the force. I then attempt the spin kick Sombra, but Sombra, and like the slimy and swift rat that he is dodged the attack.

When I evaded the attack he thought I left myself wide open, he goes for a swipe, only for me to appear behind the Dark King. I then kick Sombra in his rib, using my Time Skip to do so, Sombra wheezed. He then teleports away, a few meters back, I ran at Sombra, clenching my fist before attempting to punch him in his skull. Unfortunately, Sombra teleports behind me, he raised his blade high the try and strike me. Fortunately, I block the attack and I block the attack with my forearm, I then kick him in his ankle. Before Sombra could hit the floor I gut-punch Sombra and I send him flying into his throne. The throne shattered like glass on impact, Sombra was then buried in ice. I approached the Dark King, putting my hands in my pockets, as I approached him he jumped out of the rubble and glares down at me.

"You were lucky with that attack, I will kill you even if it kills me!" Sombra seethed, I stopped approaching him, looking up at him with a deadpan expression.

"Likewise, Sombra," I told to the Dark King, Sombra lunged at me, he was trying to stab me, however, I grabbed the blade. Sombra's eyes opened wide, I then snap the blade and I stick the blade into Sombra's shoulder. Sombra hissed in pain and took a step back, he clenched the blade and took it out, blood spraying on the ice.

"You dare wound me... Damn you... Damn you... DAMN YOU!!!!" Sombra roared, his eyes flared up with dark magic and he shoots a wave of dark magic at me. I appear behind him, hands in my pocket, Sombra didn't notice, as he fired the attack. He then stopped, noticing I wasn't here, he looked to the left, then the right.

"Where is he?!" Sombra asked, still not turning around like the fool that he is.

"What's wrong Sombra? Can't keep up?" I taunted, my back faced him, he turns around and that was the greatest mistake he ever made. I then punch Sombra in his gut, using my Time-Skip technique. Sombra coughed out an ungodly amount of blood, he took two steps back. I then face him once more and I began to use my ultimate technique, Time-Skip Molotov. I struck Sombra in his chest, stopping time. I then proceed to full-on wail on him, punch after punch, he still stood still as I punched him due to my stopped time, the punches were like rain, as the assault continued, I looked at Sombra's eyes as I punched him.

'You have killed so many people, enslaved and raped women and children alike. A true monster, I wonder what changed you? You were such a calm and collected man, just like me, you were respectable. Now you have come to this, nothing but a monster.' I thought as I continued to punch the Dark Unicorn, I then punch Sombra a final time before standing up. The Time-Skip was done. Sombra had registered all of the punches at the same time, he looked like he was getting shot by a machine gun.

"My Time Skip is unbeatable!" I told Sombra as he fell flat on his back, blood dripped from Sombra's mouth, gasping for breath as he clawed at the floor, desperate to get away from me. I approached him with murderous intent. He has done too many sins to walk out of this alive, the Dark King then leans on an ice block. He looked at me weakly and wiped a trail of blood coming out of his mouth.

"I shall return... And when I return, I will kill you!" Sombra shouted at me, I raised an eyebrow.

"Have you gone mad? Do you realize the standing point you are in? There is no escape from me this time, I will kill you, and I will complete my mission." I told him in my monotone voice he just grinned, blood oozing out of his teeth.

"Are you sure that there is no escape?" Sombra cackled, I raise my fist to silence him once and for all, but as I went in for a punch, he disappeared and my fist collided with the icy block, shattering it. I look around as I stand to my feet, I try to sense his Ki but felt nothing. Sombra was gone, Sombra had vanished. I burst from the cavern, the snowstorm still going on, I then walked, my hands back in my pockets.

"Mark my words, when you return, I will kill you," I said as I look down at the scarf that Blue Moon had given me, I raised it above my nose. I then clenched the scarf. "Mark my words..."

Chapter 1: Big Iron.

Hello, it's been a while since you guys had last seen me, for me at least. Well, after Sombra fled from me I went to go check on the Moon family only to find their house had vanished. It struck me as odd, were they real? No, the clothes that were on me were still there. Did they fly away with their house? Now that is a higher chance of happening. I then searched the Crystal Empire to find the Moon family only to find the whole entire kingdom had vanished. So I then decided it was not my problem nor an issue I need to solve and/or fix. After that I began to carry out my assassinations, target after target, they were all nothing. So where am I now after a few hundred years? Well, I'm walking down the streets of Canterlot.

As I walked down the streets of Canterlot, all of the ponies looked at me with curiosity and slight fear, most that are old enough has heard my name, around the age group of seventy through one hundred, those who are young have not. The young ones looked at me with fear, though one pony simply could not keep its mouth shut.

"Hey mommy, doesn't that look like the thing that you keep under your bed?" I nearly busted out laughing. That single amount of laughter could've ruined my reputation of being the serious assassin. As I approached the palace that held the Princess of the Sun, I highly doubt she even raises the sun and moon. Some guards were placed at the entrance, I was at the gates to the palace. They looked at me warily.

"Are you the mercenary that Celestia is bringing?" The pony looked up at me and I looked at him with disgust. I do not like to be called a mercenary, it really makes me angry.

"It's assassin, and don't you forget it you expendable marketing device." I frowned as I pushed past him, I then opened the gate and the guard just looked at the other guards.

"I don't know what that means but that was so fucking cool how he said it!" The guard squealed, the other guards spoke up, both female.

"He is so dreamy!" They all then talk about my features, including my head, I just ignored them. I had never had a girlfriend, nor do I need one. As I made my way up the stairway to this place full of sunshine and rainbows. I opened up the doors to the Palace the guards looked at me with awe, the stallions looked at my muscles trying to gauge how strong I am. The female guards looked at me and fainted on sight due to my... Features. As I made my way to the throne room of Equestria's Goddess, I had noticed that all of the guards had fainted. I just knocked on the throne room door. Knock, knock, knock.

"Come in!" I hear a regal voice reply to my knocks, I open the door and the guards just stiffen up, looking at me. I could tell these were veteran guards by the way they stiffed up. They knew who I was, they knew the tales that were told across Equestria for hundreds of years. Celestia looked down at me with a warming smile, everything she does is warming, this isn't the first time I met her and it won't be the last. That much I know. I stopped a few meters before her throne.

"Welcome to Canterlot, this is the first time you've been here hasn't it? What do you think of it?" Celestia spoke to me, trying to engage in small talk.

"My time is precious Celestia, give me the contract and I'll be on my way to kill the target," I said to Celestia blankly, the guards looked at me in shock in the way I just talked to their leader.

"Oh, you never change Hit! Always the "Let's get down to business" guy, so how have you been after these couple of hundred years?" Celestia asked me, she was stalling, I knew it. I appeared before her, standing right on the steps to the throne, the step before the actual chair. I looked into her purple eyes, my red eyes peering down into her soul.

"I do not like to repeat myself, Celestia Sol. Give. Me. My. Contract." I growled, Celestia just laughed.

"Please, call me Tia." Celestia smiled at me, my frown turns into a full-on glare as I glare down into her soul.

"No." Can you tell that I do not prefer being here?

"Worth a shot, anyway here is the contract." Celestia hands me a piece of paper, it said the usual things like, alive or dead, and some other rules and obligations that I don't want to go into much detail about. I just looked up at Celestia.

"My target is Texas Red, a stallion with a big iron on his hip? A miniature crossbow? Alright, give me ink and quill." I ordered the Princess and she does as I say, I then sign it easily and I give the contract to her. "Bye." I then shot off through the roof, just to anger Celestia which I doubt will, but it will be a hassle to fix that roof so I am still victorious.

To the town of Appleloosa one fine day, I walked from the south side of town. I had a Cowboy outfit on with a Stetson hat to top it off, I also had a big iron on my hip that I got as an extra reward for killing an arms dealer, I also had a bag for Texas Red's head. I walked down the streets of Appleloosa, no one was talking to me. They were all so fearful of me, I looked around for a bar, I spot one and I head in. When I went in, all eyes were on me, they then go back to what they were doing before. I walked up to the bartender and took a seat, the bartender looks at me.

"What would ya like?" The bartender raised an eyebrow, I just looked up at him, my hat blocking him from seeing my eyes.

"I'll have a Bloody Mary please," I asked the bartender, he nods and reaches for the Bloody Mary up top, he reaches it and gets a glass to contain the liquid. The bartender fills the glass up and hands it to me, the bartender looked down at me.

"So where do ya come from partner? Ya don't seem tah be a local here." The bartender said leaning on the counter.

"I come from Pegazona, I'm here to capture a killer alive or dead. Well, not that it matters, I'm after the one they call Texas Red." I told the bartender when I uttered his name everyone gasped and turned to me.

"Ya do know the notches on his pistol are numbered one and nineteen more? The numbers represent the ponies he killed." The bartender informed me, I just look at him with the, "Does it look like I care?" look in my eye.

"And what of it?" I asked the bartender, the bartender sighed.

"It means he's very skilled, ya should leave before ya get yourself killed. Ah'd rather not have another young man die by his hooves." The bartender looks to his left, I do the same and it's a photograph of all the young people Texas Red had killed, to a unicorn to a damn Minotaur he had slain them all.

"Well, you better update that death chart, because I'm not backing down from a challenge." I turn around and I point at a scrawny-looking young man who was sweeping. "You."

"Me?" The scrawny boy points at himself I nodded.

"Yes you, get Texas Red ready for a dual, at 11:20 AM, pronto," I ordered the young man, he salutes and runs off. The bartender looks at me.

"Ye're just begging tah die."

It was now twenty past eleven when I walked in the street, I had seen Texas Red on the other side, lighting up a cigarette. I just look at him, he looked back at me, silence, pure silence.

"So what makes ya think ya can take my head?" Texas Red's gruff voice asked, I stood there looking at him. I didn't respond, "The silent type huh? Well, hopefully, we can change that when ah put my bolt through yer heart." There were forty feet between us, we both looked at each other... Trying to see who would make the first move. A tumbleweed passes us, the townspeople locked all of their doors, some hiding in trash cans, some in barrels, basically the same thing, and took a peek from their hiding spots. My red eyes met his brown, our hats put shadows over our eyes. Silence...

"Draw!" Texas Red shouted out reaching for his big iron, however, my swiftness was too swift for his quickness pulled out my big iron and shot him straight through the heart. Texas Red let out a gasp, looking down at his chest, seeing the crossbow bolt in his heart. He took a step back before grinning.

"N-nice shot... Kid." Texas Red then fell on his back, dead. Target eliminated. The people peeked out of their hiding spots, they saw Texas Red's dead body on the ground. I approached the outlaw, my footsteps being heard throughout the town. All were silent, I reached his corpse and cut off his head, I then put it in my bag. I then raise the bag up like a trophy.

"No one tango's with the Rango." I said in a southern country accent, everyone lets out a "Yeehaw" and they come racing towards me, coming to give me praise and what not. They all proceed to bury me with money, looks like I'm going home with more money this time.

"I must go now," I told everyone they just awed.

"Can you stay a little bit? Pleeeeaaaaaasseeee???" They all asked me with puppy eyes, I looked down at them.

"No."

I was back at Canterlot, after dragging all of my newly gotten bits to my home... In a barren frozen wasteland... Alone... Anyway, the point is that I got my well-earned money for my home. Now, I'm getting my payment for my actual job, this time, no one was awing at me. They just stood alert, trying to keep themselves together, they stood silent like stone. I do not like it here and I found it unprofessional that they all fainted at the sight of me. However, they help pay the rent, even though I don't have a landlord. Scratch that, they help keep me fed, though I have other options to choose from. Like the Dragon Lands, the Griffon Kingdom, the Storm Kingdom, Seaquestria, the Abyssinian Kingdom, the Avian Kingdom, the Changeling Kingdom, the Diamond Dog Tribes/Packs, Zebrafica, Minos, Yakistan... and Underground World... Okay, maybe that wasn't the best possible way to say it.

I opened the doors to the palace, I heard some giggling from the throne room, I didn't like that one bit. One bit at all. The guards looked at me, giggling to themselves, men and women alike. I open the door to the throne room, Celestia sat there grinning and all giddy. I walk up to her, the same way before, the guards looked at me with a serious look on their faces. Celestia looked at me.

"Welcome back, do you have the head of Texas Red? Oh, that rhymed." Celestia chuckled, I just raise the bloody bag and she winced. "Thanks..."

"Now please give me my money and I'll be on my way," I told her, Celestia then giggled some more, before summoning the contract. My eyes went wide, "Celestia, what did you do?"

"Well, I kinda wrote on invisible ink that you are going to be one of my people unless you gain... At most of 100 friends, and perhaps even something more~" Celestia said raising her eyebrow flirtatiously, I march up to her and snatch the paper up. Celestia shot some magic from her horn at the paper and the once invisible ink revealed itself at the bottom of the page.

“You shall go to Ponyville after you give me Texas Red’s head. You will meet up with Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and until you learn the magic of Friendship, you can not go back to your life as a hitman. P.S You' will now do as I say when I say it, my that sounds like I'm an evil tyrant. Which I'm not, see you later Hitty!”

Silence... My grip tightens and I look at her, I then remember something, I then smirk. "You do know I can always break this contract, right?" Celestia chuckled.

"And then you would go bankrupt! You are renowned for being an assassin that never breaks his contracts and completes his job, what will happen to the infamous Hit when he breaks a contract? Well, we won't know until we find out won't we?" Celestia mused, putting a fist under her chin, I drop the paper on the ground and clenched my fist.

"You bitch," I told her, it was the third time she pushed me to swear, she just smiled playfully, "Where's the next train to Ponyville?" I sighed, she just stood up.

"I knew you would never break your contract, here's the ticket." Celestia hands me the ticket then wraps her arm around my neck, I was a few inches taller than her. "I can tell this is the start to a beautiful friendship."

"I would like to die as of right now, end my existence." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Where's the fun in killing? Honestly, I do not know how you make a living off of it." Celestia summoned a nail file, she then sharpens her nails.

"I will not be insulted by some ineffectual privileged, no account, flat-brained, jackass, if you want to start a fistfight then bring it on. Though you may be surprised when I send you to a hospital. I doubt you know my real name, I’m the fucking Lizard King," I said to her, my deep and emotionless voice making her crack up.

"You're such fun to be around with! And to think we can send messages to each other every day." Celestia grinned, I just shuddered, she sighed. "Ah, I just can't wait! Go to Ponyville, go on!" Celestia turns my body to the door and pushes me to it. I strongly dislike her, I hope one day we spar and I harm her, but not too much. I will harm her one day.

Mark my words.

The train had reached Ponyville, I had packed my bags and bid farewell to my old home which I still love, Celestia had won this round, but mark my words I will find her and turn her into a damn fur coat when this is over. Many of the ponies had steered away from me, due to my physical appearance is a likely option. I got up from my seat and carried my bags, I opened the exit to the train, when I opened it I saw a 5'3 mare with darkish purple and violet hair. She had nerd glasses on and a notebook close to her chest. Next to her was a drake, an Arc Drake, a rare sight to see these days. He looked to be no older than twelve, he probably still loved Power Ponies, it's not like I had a vast collection of the figures and comics back at home. It would be nice to share it with him, though I doubt he would keep it a secret. The drake jumped back from me, not expecting me to be this insanely tall, which I was 6'3.

"Um, hello!" The mare began, judging by her appearance she is Twilight Sparkle. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, welcome to Ponyville, what's your name?" Twilight stuck a hand out, I looked at her hand then I looked at her eyes. I do not interact with people who have not earned my respect. Twilight winced, opening her notebook and writing my behavior down.

"Okay, that was just to gauge you on the interactive scale, you ignored my greeting and my hoof shake, thus you get a one out of ten. Speaking of which, I already know your name, you are Hit." Twilight told me, I just look down at her, the drake leaned over to Spike.

"He's tall, purple, and he looks cool, are you sure he isn't Ponos?" The drake asked Twilight she just face-hoofed.

"Yes, I'm sure Spike, he isn't the Mad Pony," Twilight grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose, my gaze switched over to the drake I now know as Spike.

"While I may not be the Mad Pony, my name is Hit, the Legendary Assassin, I have never broken a contract." I stuck my hand out to him, Spike was a fan of the MCU, the M standing for Marble, not Marvel. And that simple thing will gain my respect. Spike gladly took my hand and we shook hands before letting go. Twilight looked to Spike with an awestricken look in her eyes, she then turns to me, then Spike, then me again. Twilight then scratches whatever was in her notebook and replaces it.

"Now then, I think it's time we get on to the tour!"

So you're probably wondering... What happened? Well, I said fuck the tour and headed to Twilight's house, and APPARENTLY, that was the wrong call, for there was a party there- No, there was a trap waiting for me. It was a party just for me, a 'Welcome to Ponyville Party!' in fact. So here I am now, sitting in the middle of the room with Twilight's friends.

"So yer a Hitman right?" The farm pony known as Applejack asked me, I turned to her and nodded. "And yer name is Hit, is that a nickname?"

"No, it's pure coincidence," I told her, Applejack blinked.

"Boy, ya do sure have a weird name..." Applejack chuckled, I left the conversation off like that. I looked for Twilight and she was reading a book as the party went on, suddenly a rainbow blur appeared in front of me.

"Now hold on, since you're a Hitman, does that mean you kill ponies?" The cyan mare I know as Rainbow Dash spoke, I gazed down at her.

"Yes, it does, I kill Minotaurs, Ponies, Dragons, Griffons, Avians, Abyssinians, Diamond Dogs, and many more," I informed the Pegasi.

"You must be working undercover to try and make us your friends, only to stab us in the back and kill us!" Rainbow Dash accused, I frown.

"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done so already..." I told her as my crimson eyes glowed for a bit, Rainbow Dash was shaken at this. She looked to Twilight.

"Twilight! He's gonna kill us!" She raced to Twilight, I groaned.

"Oh boy..."

Author's Note

Okay, I rewrote it.

Chapter 3: Sticking To Your Guns.

I walked down the streets of Ponyville, I had just gotten my morning coffee, making me ready and willing to go. Er, I don't know where I was willing to go but it's somewhere. I lazily looked up, it was morning and I saw three silhouettes in the distance. Dear. God. It's them, the Cutiemark Crusaders! They made my head get stuck, you have no idea what a hassle that was getting my head out. I frown, I need to hide but where? There was a forest that was dangerous for anyone to go to, I then see some trees in the distance. I then bolt off towards the trees like a rocket, the CMC then skid to a halt before looking at me as I run away.

"Hit! Come back, we want to apologize!" Scootaloo cried out, Applebloom then perks up, noticing where I was going.

"He's going to the Everfree Forest!" Applebloom said in a panicked expression, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle then adopts that same expression.

"We have to save him, wait this is our chance to be..." Sweetie Belle then looks towards Applebloom and Scootaloo as their eyes began to shine.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders, Hitman Rescuers!" They all declared though I heard their voices even from here. I shook my head at their antics and head inside of the forest, as I ran through the forest I became a Ninja. I jumped from tree to tree like the Ninjas from that one show with the annoying 'Believe It!' kid. As I went deeper inside of the forest I then stopped and gazed back. No one was there, taking a deep, relaxing sigh I sat down.

"Alright, it would seem to be time for some image training," I said getting in a meditating position, I then disconnect myself from my body. As I trained I began to think about what has happened during recent years if you can even call them recent. But my thoughts were interrupted when I heard a branch snap. I open my eyes, I then look to my left and I spot a Zebra.

"Who are you, do you seek refuge?" The Zebra asked me, so she speaks in rhymes, like most Zebra.

"I am Hit, an assassin, though by a series of unfortunate circumstances I'm stuck in Ponyville until I gain 100 friends. But you can say I seek refuge, yes." I shook my head, standing up.

"My name is Zecora, dweller of the Everfree, would you perhaps come over for some tea?" Zecora asked me, I look at her, and gaze into her eyes.

"Hm, it wouldn't be bad to have some tea as of my current situation." I put my hands in my pockets, she just smiled and turned around.

"Come with me if you would like some tea," Zecora walks off to a random location and I follow her, I then look at my surroundings. This was by far the most natural of Equestria, no Pegasi to control nature, no Unicorns out and about, no Earth Ponies loving and taking animals in. It was all so natural.

"So where do you hail from, I am sure you have many things to say from where you come," Zecora said, I gaze at the Zebra again, glowering at her.

"I come from somewhere far, far away from here. That is all I can say." I answered the Zebra, Zecora nods, knowing why I would answer that. "So, I know I didn't say where I come from, but can you tell me where you come from? Or how you got here, because Zebrafrica is a couple of kilometers away."

"I come from a place where I can no longer show my face. I came here to pursue my interest in magic as for why I left it is tragic." Zecora said solemnly, while I may be a Hitman and I was supposed to be emotionless. I felt sympathy for her and I can relate to her, I was forced out of my homeworld and was sent here.

Zecora looked down to the soil of the Everfree Forest and sighed. I hum and I speak up. "Hm, I have another query for you, why do you speak in rhymes?" I inquired, Zecora gazed at me before smiling.

"It keeps my mind on its toes, and makes sure I can conquer any foe." Zecora explained, "It also makes me quick on my feet, for this forest is as dangerous as can be. Even still it is not dangerous enough for me."

"This forest... Is this the last forest that's... Natural? Surely you don't have Pegasi in your home, bending weather at their whim. Like they're some type of... God." I say with some venom in my voice, I hate Ponies. Because they can control the weather, they can choose if it can be stormy or sunny. It makes me feel... Weak, if I was a human here I might've felt worthless! But instead, I'm an ass-kicking assassin.

"I take it you do not like the ponies who control the weather, but you would be correct this forest is the last natural one altogether," Zecora said calmly, I clench my fist and grit my teeth. This is too far, way too far, this is just bullshit.

"From where I come no one controls the weather, it was just the natural order. Seeing beings who control it... It's unnatural and it makes me upset." I said gazing at the clouds above the forest, not seeing any being on top of them.

"We should hurry, you seem stressed and it can be reduced with some tea," Zecora said, looking at me, I gave her a nod.

"Alright, let's hurry," I say as we picked up the pace to a jog. It wasn't too long before we reached her hut. Zecora was somewhat curious about me along the way. Giving me glances and what not when we reached the hut I let her in first like the gentlemanly man that I am.

"You are so polite, you have good manners and that gives me delight," Zecora said as she took a step into her home, I nod and went inside.

We were now in the hut and I got to say, she is definitely from Zebrafrica. The masks, the decorations, the potions, I put it together that she was probably ridiculed for being a witch. Most likely she was banished from her kingdom because of her hobby, that's a bit sad considering she is a nice person. I was currently sitting down on a cushion as opposed to the hard floor, sitting next to me was Zecora with two cups of tea in her hands. She passed on a cup to me, it was hot but I blew on it softly.

"You say you are an assassin, do you perhaps consider it a profession?" I just gaze at the Zebra, closing my eyes I crossed my arms and lean on the wall that was behind me.

"I consider it as a job well done, when I kill a target it's like an athlete winning a gold medal," I said, my eyes still closed, Zecora hummed.

"I require your assistance, for some mercenaries are being a nuisance," Zecora said, looking at me, I open one eye and looked at her. "They're cutting down the trees and disturbing the animals of the Everfree, I try to warn them but they won't listen to me. Should the animals continue to be disturbed the animals would wreak havoc and cause the ponies of Ponyville to be perturbed."

"So you want me to have a chat with them, hm?" I said, my eyes opening fully. I turned my body towards the Zebra.

"Yes indeed, I fear the consequences that will happen because of their greed," Zecora said, I jump to my feet. This is a chance to gain a new friend and get closer to my goal.

"Point me in the direction of the target, I will stop those fiends at light speed."

I approached the area where Zecora said those mercenaries were located. As I approached the location I heard a jackhammer being used, I glanced beside me and I saw a timberwolf snarling. The timberwolf held its ears and bared its teeth, I saw what she meant. With newfound determination to stop them, I hid behind a tree to observe them.

I saw the foundation of a building being built, I then see a couple of Minotaurs with axes cutting down trees. About four of them got it, I glance over to two Unicorns with Military armor. In the middle of the Unicorns is an Earth Pony with a Stetson while in a tan cowboy outfit.

"Move those logs o'er to the pile, ah want this building built by dawn, or Boss will be angry. Ya won't like him when he's angry or me fer that matter." The Earth Pony ordered the Minotaurs gave him a salute.

"Yes, Gunner, Sir!" The Minotaurs then carry the logs over to the pile, I then nod, I think it's time I introduce myself. I point a finger to the logs and fire off a Ki blast from my finger. Exploding the pile of logs into a million shards, some of the shards dug into the Minotaur's eyes and other body parts.

"GRAH MY EYES!!!!" As dust filled the airy from the wood I made my attack. Going through the dust I struck a Minotaur in their gut making them wheeze, I then struck them in their nose. Grabbing the Minotaur by its horns I chucked the Minotaur into another one, sending them out of the dust cloud and into a tree. I wasn't killing them by request, Zecora had said that everyone deserves a second chance, even bastards like these.

The two Minotaurs I hadn't taken out brought out their axes, still blinded, the dust cloud was still there. "Wh-who's there? Do you know who you're dealin' with? I am Copper Horn, winner of the Heavy Weight-" He didn't get to finish his sentence as he was gut punched by me. He dropped his axe and I grabbed him by his horns and slammed my knee into his nose, the force of the attack broke his horns and made him fall down. The last Minotaur was shaking in fear, though he couldn't see me he sensed my murderous intent, he dropped his axe and fell down. He fainted due to my intimidation, Nat 20 I guess.

I walk out of the dust cloud and the two Unicorns took on a stance while the Earth Pony I knew as Gunner took out two guns that resembled an Ak-47. The first ever guns made were made in the Storm Kingdom, the most technologically advanced nation out of all of them. He clenched his guns and grinned.

"You don't wanna be messin' with us, Dick Head." And there it is, the dick joke. I frowned at Gunner and put my hands in my pocket, "Not much of a talker ain'tcha?"

"I have a few questions for you before I turn you into mincemeat. Why are you here? Why would I not be wanting to mess with you? And why the Everfree Forest?" I asked the Earth Pony, Gunner turned to his Unicorn Guards and they shrugged.

"Well, ah'm here to expand the family business. As for why ya won't wanna mess with me, is 'cause mah father is a POWERFUL man, and so am ah. Just because ya beat a few weaklin's don't mean yer shit! Why the Everfree? Look around ya, there are so many freakish monsters here it's bound tah get a high price! Who knows, maybe ah'll catch mahself an Ursa Major!" Gunner then cackles and slaps his knees before swearing, holding his knee with his hands that were currently holding guns.

"So, you're part of the black market, willing to sell these creatures to the highest bitter." I shift my stance, and the Unicorns stiffen up.

"Bingo! Right ya are, want a cookie?" Gunner puts up one of his guns and brings out a see through bag that had a crushed-up cookie. I frown and lunged towards the Earth Pony, immediately the Unicorn Guards ran at me. Their horns lit up and one shot an ice spell at me, I swiftly ducked under it and sent a Ki blast towards them. The guard made a shield and blocked the attack, the other guard snuck behind me and shot a fire spell at me. I jumped in the air and did a flip landing behind the Unicorn. I grabbed him by the mane and chucked him at the other Guard then crash into each other. I then shot towards them before I got shot by what felt like lightning, I was getting electrocuted and I jumped back. I see Gunner with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"These here bullets are designed tah kill monsters of class seven and higher! Meanin' they can kill Ursa Majors, Dragons and still have room tah kill a Hydra!" Gunner then fires off more bullets at me, I raise my forearms and I begin to block them. Surprisingly I was getting pushed back, I was then punched where my kidney would be by a Unicorn Guard, he continued to strike me. The other Guard kicked me in the back of my leg, making me go to one knee I was then shot in the face by an electrical bullet, I growled in pain. I grabbed the Guards by the horns and smashed them together, no more holding back, this is pissing me off. I then do a split kick and kick both of them in their abdomens, making them cough out saliva before I banged their heads together.

"KIKOHO!!!!" I fired off a tri-beam at Gunner and he rolled out of the way, the trees behind him were cut down. Gunner then puts his two guns together and they combined into a cannon.

"YEEEHAAWWW!!!!" Gunner began to shoot the combined power of the bullets at me, and I began to dodge them. "DANCE, DICK HEAD, DANCE!!!!" Gunner cackled, he then charged up a final blast and shot it at me. I kicked the bullet into the air and flew after it, looking down at Gunner I saw his face filled to the brim with horror.

"It's over." I kick the bullet back down and the bullet hits next to him, the electricity transferred over to him and he roared in pain. Getting shocked by lightning, he then went to his knees and to all fours. I then descend and land in front of him.

"What are ya waitin fer? Kill me." Gunner said weakly, I pointed a finger at him and a Ki blast began to charge. He closed his eyes, embracing death, I then fired it off next to him.

"Scum like you don't deserve it, now run along and tell your boss that this forest is under my protection. If he has anything to say about it, he can kiss the bottom of my shoe, because that's where he'll be if he dares to harm this forest. Go." I ordered he then whimpered and ran away like a coward, I cross my arms and look at the foundation of the building they were making. "Hm, I could make use of this and make a Dojo, heh, I could call it; 'Hit's Martial Arts School' no, I need a more kick-ass name."

"So... COOOOL!!!!!" My eyes open wide and I adopted the 'oh shit' face. I turn around and I see the Cutie Mark Crusaders, my eyes were still open wide.

"You were like bam, boom, crash! And they were like 'oh please don't hurt me, I'm too weak and then you were like 'you're not worth my time' SO COOOLLL!!!!!" Scootaloo gushed, putting her hands on her cheeks as stars formed on her eyes. They all jump around me and I just stand there.

"Oh Kami..."

"YOU WHAT!??!?!" Rarity yelled at the Crusaders and me, "How didn't you notice them? They could be in danger while you... while you... Go about and beat ruffians? And you girls are in BIG trouble."

"We told you fellers on multiple occasions not to go in that forest, I know you guys were tryin' to look out for our friend here but that was dangerous." Applejack scolded the young'uns.

"We're sorry sis, we just wanted to make sure Hit was safe," Applebloom said, her ears flopped downwards.

"That was a very nice thing for you to do young Applebloom, saving a friend no matter the danger is a good quality of friendship." Celestia said, I nearly gagged at the word. She then looks at me with a smile, "You did a good deed as well, helping out someone in need and capturing these criminals." I look behind me and there were the Minotaurs and the Unicorns tied up with rope.

"It's nothing, really," I said with a frown, the Princess just continued to smile at me.

"It is something, you possibly saved this whole town all because of your nobility," Celestia said, putting a finger on my chest, my frown deepens. 'Looks like you're really learning the values of friendship.' Celestia said telepathically

'Will you shut up? You dragged me into this, I'm just trying to get enough friends to climb out of this hell hole.' I said telepathically as well. I crossed my arms and Celestia just giggled at this.

'But I will still win, you're still going to have to do acts of kindness. It'll grow on you and then you'll become a softy, maybe quit the Hitman life and live here in Ponyville.' Celestia said, I open my eyes wide, what has she done? She planned this from the start!

'You evil son of a-' I was cut off when Rainbow Dash interjected.

"Why are you two staring at each other like that? Are you two in love or something?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously, Celestia had a blush form on her face and turned away.

"Oooh! They're in looove~" Pinkie Pie said, looking at us.

"I assure you I am not in love with this scheming mastermind." I glared at Celestia, she then puts a fist to her mouth and cleared her throat. A blush still there.

"I-indeed, we are not in love, n-now I must be off. Thank you Hit and remember to send me letters daily, farewell." Celestia turns around and the Guard shoves the prisoners into a chariot while Celestia gets in her own. She waves me goodbye and I give her the bird, she sent me a kiss and I caught it... And put it in a box and threw that shit in the garbage. The chariots went off and the others just stand beside me.

"Yup, definitely in love." Pinkie Pie said with a nod, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack both nod in agreement.

"We are not in love!"

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait guys! I'm already planning the next chapter.

Chapter 4: Time To Make The Donuts.

I was in the Everfree Forest where I had fought Gunner and his men. I had made use of the logs to make a training dummy, I had really thought of making Dojo. After all, why not? It's not like I have anything else better to do than hone my skills. I'm like a Tiger, I have to sharpen my fangs by chewing on bones. The bones being the training dummy. Er... I'm not going to chew on it but punch it. You know what I mean, right?

"Hm." I gaze at the spot of land that I now occupied. 'I could make an outside Dojo, no, bugs would annoy the students and who knows what monsters are out there.' I thought as I set up more training dummies, as I set them down I felt a disturbance in the forest. I look around before I shook my head, I didn't want to be bothered as I worked. When I was done, I walked up to one of the training dummies, I look at my fist before holding it up to the dummy's face.

"Time to make the donuts." I went into a fighting stance, I was going to punch the dummy but a certain puffy-haired nuisance popped up in front of me. I held back my fist and stared at the being... My eyes open wide and I knew then and there... I fucked up. It was Pinkie Pie.

"You make donuts? OHMYGOSH! You should totally work at Sugarcube Corner! It's the bestest bakery in the whole wide world! I just thought you were a big scary Hitman, I didn't know you were a baker as well! Can you work at Sugarcube Corner? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?" Pinkie Pie asked, over and over again. I just stared at her, I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think, she had effectively made me an idiot.

"Pinkie Pie, I can't say y-" I was cut off by the pink menace.

"YOU CAN!??!?!" She boomed in my face, I was nearly knocked over my feet by her.

"I said I can-" I tried to argue but she had already grabbed my hand, I glare down at Pinkie Pie. "Don't you d-" The pink menace dragged me all the way to Sugarcube Corner and supersonic speeds, dare I say faster than I. I was at Sugarcube Corner's entrance, the door right in front of us. Though I was currently on the ground, looking up into the skies.

"Why must you hurt me this way?" I asked Pinkie Pie before getting up, I dust myself off and gaze at the pink pony.

"Sorry if I hurt you, but I was just so excited! A Hitman that can bake! Come on in!" Pinkie Pie grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door, but I held my ground. Digging my heels into the earth, I was not going in there. "Come on Hitty! Get. In!" She struggled to pull me in, Pinkie then defies to Laws of Physics and stands in the air to get at eye level. Just to glare at me in my eyes. "Alright tough guy, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way." Pinkie Pie and I locked eyes for a solid five seconds. None of us breaking our gaze, Pinkie began to growl, being the man that I am I growled back. We both began to growl at each other, Pinkie Pie leaned her head back to look down at me. I did the same, no way was she superior to me.

"Uh, Pinkie Pie?" A voice spoke, it sounded female. "What are you two doing?" We continued to lock eyes with each other and Pinkie Pie began to speak.

"Hitty can bake but doesn't want to work at Sugarcube Corner." Pinkie Pie growled out, I then bared my teeth and the menace did the same.

"Well, he probably has his reasons, he is a Hitman, and being seen in a bakery may hurt his reputation." The female said she made a solid point.

"That is correct, I am a Hitman and I am renowned for my behavior and attitude. I am seen as, and I quote, 'The Most Deadliest Hitman on the planet.'" I cross my arms, Pinkie Pie did the same and leaned towards me, I did the same and we were butting heads.

"What if you work at Sugarcube Corner just for the rest of the day? It wouldn't hurt anypony and we wouldn't tell. Cross my heart, hope to fly and stick a cupcake in my eye." The female spoke, Pinkie Pie stretched out her hand.

"Do we have a deal then, Hitty?" Pinkie Pie said with a deep and gruff voice, I stretch out my hand and I took Pinkie Pie's hand. I frowned at her.

"We have an accord," I said in a western accent, we both shook hands and stared at each other. Pinkie Pie then grinned ear to ear and turned to the female, giving her a thumbs up.

"We have a Hitman as a baker Mrs. Cake, yay!" Pinkie Pie said, throwing her hands into the air. I just cross my arms and sighed, I look at the being that I theorized to be this 'Mrs. Cake.' I mean she does have cake-

I shook my head, I really need to meditate, Ponyville is driving me insane. "Hmph, I believe a tour is in order," I said, putting my hands in my pants pockets. Mrs. Cake nodded with a smile.

"I believe so, allow me to give you a tour of Sugarcube Corner." Mrs. Cake said she has good manners, Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up next to Mrs. Cake. I looked to my left where she was previously at then at where she was currently. "I'm not even going to ask how."

"Mrs. Cake, can I give him the tour? Please?" Pinkie Pie showed Mrs. Cake puppy eyes, I could do nothing but facepalm. Mrs. Cake sighed and just nodded wordlessly. "Yay!" Pinkie Pie cheered before motioning me to follow her, and I did as she wished. I, Mrs. Cake, and Pinkie Pie went into the bakery, when we went inside it felt like I was hit by a rainbow. I stumbled backward and clutched my chest, I took a breath before I was forced to cough in my fist.

"This bakery it's very..." I then observe my surroundings, my eyes were currently watering due to the sweetness of the room, I wipe my eyes. "It's very shiny."

"Yuppy! It's squeaky clean all thanks to me, the Employee of the Month for... Hm, hold on let me count. One, two, three..." Pinkie Pie began to count on her fingers and I facepalm before I crossed my arms. I looked down at the pink menace and I clear my throat. "Oh, right, follow me Hitty!" Pinkie Pie grabs me by my hand and pulls me over to the counter. She then jumps on top of it and lays belly first.

"I don't think that's very hygienic," I said as I looked at Pinkie Pie being her, she then moved her legs back in forth like a child.

"Don't worry, I'm cleaner than Princess Celestia's horn! Anyway, this is a counter used for a TON of things. Like using the cash register, receiving orders, or giving orders! Oh and this is the dingy thingy! It goes DING!" Pinkie then presses the ding button. "And this is the FABLED cash register!" Pinkie Pie then rolls off and hits the ground before jumping up with the cash register in her hands. "Look at it, so majestic, so beautiful, and it's filled with cash. Now, don't steal or I'll have to show you my Pink Typhoon!" She struck a Karate pose doing weird sounds.

"Understood," I said with a nod, I then gaze towards the customers who were acting like this was normal. I don't understand ponies sometimes. I was then dragged to the kitchen.

"And THIS is the kitchen, where you make BEEEAUUUUUUUTIIIFULLL and yummy pastries!" Pinkie Pie said, licking her lips as a trail of drool escaped her mouth. I looked at her with pure and unadulterated disgust.

"Uh-huh..." I said nodding up and down, I would do anything to get out of this situation right now.

There was then a ding by the cash register. "Oh! A customer, I'll be the one who tells you orders and you make them! M'kay?" Pinkie Pie tilted his head.

"Understood," I said with a nod, "I will bake with the best of my abilities."

"See ya when I get an order!" Pinkie Pie zooms to the counter and I could hear her from here. "Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, home of all things sugar, can I take ya ordah?" Pinkie Pie asked the customer.

"Ah'll take the Apple Crush Cupcake and some water to wash it down." A deep voice spoke, Pinkie Pie zooms over to the Kitchen.

"Apple Crush Cupcake coming up, recipe is on the wall!" Pinkie Pie said, pointing at the wall, there was a row of recipies for each cupcake and pastry. For Apple Crush Cupcake you had to cut up an apple into square like pieces, bake some apple flavored cupcake and some frosting. I nod and get to work. First I reach for some fruit that was on a basket and I got out a kitchen knife from the knife holder, I then chopped sway at the apple, going lightning fast. They were then like cubes, the core was placed on the side. And I put the cubes in a bag before I begin to bake the miffin thingy after making it with my own two hands, baking is cool but tedious. After a while the oven let out a ding and I opened it, grabbed the muffin which probably tasted like apples and put it next to the apple cubes. I then grab the frosting before expertling putting frosting on the now cupcake. I then plop down the apple cubes onto the frosting. I then go to a small window and put the cupcake there.

"Apple Crush Cupcake ready to meet it's demise!" I called out before walking off. Someone then took the cupcake. This was going to be tedious will it?

"Hit, you know what you're in my office... Do you?" Mrs. Cake asked me, I crossed my arms.

"Because Pinkie Pie says you need to talk to me about my baking skills." I told her, Mrs. Cake nods.

"It's... It's too good! We need you to stop, be a receptionist, you're fast, precise, and you make the best pastries! I'm sorry for my outburst but if you keep this up they'll expect US to be this good and that'll drag the business down." Mrs. Cake said, I nodded.

"That's logical, I'll man the desk, if that is all I'll go ahead and leave." Mrs. Cake nods and I get up, I open the door and walk out of her office. I was then held back by Pinkie Pie and she spun me around. The then pushed me in front of a mirror and I stopped spinning, I look at myself in the mirror and saw... I was wearing all pink. I had a pink apron, pink shoes, pink pants, and a pink baseball cap.

"Now you look the part, go on now!" Pinkie then pushes me to the cash register. I stand in front of it, "Now remember, be VERY careful with the cash register. It's a legendary tool." Pinkie Pie then moonwalks away. I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose.

'This idiot...' I thought in my mind, I then heard a thing and glared down at the customer. It was Rainbow Dash.

"H-Hit?! BAHAHAHAHA!!!" Rainbow Dash erupted into laughter, pointing at me. I had my unreadable expression but it was just silent rage.

"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, what may I get for you today?" I said looking down at Rainbow Dash.

"Ohh man this is rich, a Hitman being a baking place worker! I-I'll have just a medium chocolate milk." Rainbow Dash waved idly and was cracking up.

"Medium chocolate milk!" I called out, Pinkie Pie answered back.

"Okie dokie Hitty!" Pinkie Pie said, I feel like I'm Squidward and she's Spongebob. Rainbow Dash is... Sandy I think.

"So how did you even get in this situation, did you wake up and decide to be a baker?" Rainbow Dash asked me.

"Hm, no, I was in the Everfree Forest and said 'Time to make the donuts' and now I'm here." I answered Rainbow Dash.

"That's all? Come on there must be more to it than that!" Rainbow Dash said, looking at me in my eyes.

"No, no there is not." I said, looking at the Rainbow menace. I then heard, a ding.

"Order up!" Pinkie Pie chirped, I turn around and got the chocolate milk from the windown. I then give it to Rainbow Dash.

"Farewell." I bid Rainbow Dash goodbye, she rolled her eyes

"Yeah, yeah, bye. I'mm tell everyone about that, haha!" Rainbow Dash said, walking out the store.

"Good riddance." I said, as I crossed my arms. I then wait for the next customer, I then close my eyes as I did so.

"Hit!" I opened my eyes wide, it was Twilight. She and Spike had opened the front doors and Twilight saw my attire, Twilight and Spike cracked up.

"Pfft, you're wearing pink! Hahahaha!" Spike laughed, slapping his knee and pointing a finger at me. Okay Woody with your Toy Story lookin' head ass motherfu-

"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, how can I serve you today?" I asked Twilight in my monotone voice.

"Oh, I'll have the Apple Crush Cupcake." Twilight wiped a tear from her eye, I clenched my fists.

"I'll have the Drake Gem Muffin." Spike ordered, I then turned back to the Kitchen.

"A Drake Gem Muffin and an Apple Crush Cupcake order up!" I called out.

"Okie dokie Hitty!" Pinkie said from the Kitchen causing Twilight and Spike to erupt in laughter. I just growled.

"Oh I gotta tell the Princess THIS."

"You wouldn't." I said, looking at Twilight. She smiled.

"I would, 'Dear Princess Celestia,'" Spike began to write down Twilight's words. "'Through recent discovery…'"

"Oh! Hitty is really good at baking! He's AMAZING!" Pinkie said from the Kitchen, my eyes began to twitch.

"'I found out that Hit is really good at baking, even Pinkie Pie praises it. He is currently working at Sugarcube Corner, stop by if you have the time! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.'" Twilight Sparkle said with a smile.

"Aaand sent." Spike breathed green fire and the letter floated out the window.

"When did you have the balls?" I said, glaring down at Twilight.

"Since I found out you can't harm us." Twilight smiled, "Also it's ovaries not balls."

The Princess of the Sun sat down upon her throne idly, she was tired and the Sun Meeting was over. It drained her being there, she closed her eyes to take a little nap before her eyes shot open when a letter floated down in her lap. Celestia smiled and opened the letter, she loved her letters from her student. When she read what was inside her eyes became hidden by shadows…

"Uh… Pr-Princess Celestia? Is everything alright?" A Guard spoke, curious as to what could get the Princess so worked up.

Celestia clenched the letter and she began to smile, the smile was unnerving. "Yes… Yes… YES!!!" Celestia then shot through the roof. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew that Hit would be good at baking!"

The Guard looked up, "...Okay Golden Heart, move on, just move on." Golden Heart shuffled away.

Meanwhile Celestia flew towards, breaking the sound barrier in the process like a jet. Celestia had her eyes set on Ponyville. Celestia began to slow down and floated elegantly before her feet touched the soil of the town. Celestia raced to the Sugarcube Corner and reached for the door and took a deep breath.

"Okay Tia, it's just Hit being in an adorable outfit. Calm do- I can't take it!" Celestia opened the doors and saw Hit smiling. Smiling in a cute outfit.

"Hello my beloved, welcome to Sugarcube Corner what can I get for you my lady?" Hit said in a kind voice, not in a monotone one like he always had. Celestia's pupils shrunk to nothingness and she turned red.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b…" Celestia raised a finger, steam came out her ears. Her heart began to pound, she could hear it ring throughout your ears. Hit walked up to Celestia and tilted his head before putting a hand on her shoulder.

"You okay my darling? You seem rather hot, well you're always hot but you seem a bit off…" Hit put a hand on Celestia's forehead as Celestia twitched.

"D-d-d-d-d-d-a-a... H-h-h-h-o…" Celestia squeaked, and Hit smiled softly.

"You seem to have a fever, why don't you go back home and rest okay? Then we can have a talk." Hit said sweetly, Celestia turned around.

"O-o-o-ok-k-k-kay…" Celestia said shakily, still red as an apple. Celestia walked out the door and flew away. Hit then turned around and crossed his arms.

"Hmph, and that's how you deal with a Princess."

Crossover Chapter: Time For You to Get a Watch.

T'was but an early day for Hit in Ponyville, the trees were looking nice. The ponies were walking fucking rainbows, the birds were chirping. As Hit began to strut down the roads of Ponyville, Twilight by his side with a notebook armed and ready. Spike is there too but let's forget about the wee lad.

"So, out for groceries again?" Hit asked Twilight, "Do you mind telling me why you're coming along?"

"Last time you went out on your own you single handedly brought down a group of criminals! And besides Spike won't stop bugging me about seeing you fight in person." Twilight answered Hit's question.

"Understandable, so pra-" Hit then stopped in his tracks. 'HOLY BLACK ON A POPO!!! The fuck's that? I've only felt this high of a Power Level when I fought Sombra… Who I demolished like tr- You know what, forget it' Hit then sighed

"It doesn't bother me, it doesn't bother me." Hit said, sighing, "Okay it bothers me, it bothers me a lot!" Hit said with a frown.

"Uh, Hit? What are you talking about?" Spike said, tilting his head. "What's bothering you?"

"I'll return, stay here and don't follow me." Hit then shot into the skies, Twilight then looked up.

"HEY! WE STILL NEED TO GET GROCERIES!" Twilight cried out, before letting out a sigh. "Faust darn it."

Hit closed his eyes and searched for the power level. 'If I were someone with a big power level where would I…' Hit opened his eyes, "Of course, Manehatten. Because who WOULDN'T go to Manehatten? I swear if I have to fight off a Saiyan I will kick them to the… (moon) You know I shouldn't do that." Hit then flies to Manehatten.

As Hit began to fly to Manehatten in mere moments he found himself near the city. Hit then descends before entering the city, walking normally to blend in with the crowd.

"Hey mommy, why does his hair look like the thing you play with?" A Colt said, talking to his parents. I had to take a deep breath before continuing on.

'I will never get tired of that joke.' Hit said in his mind, he then looked into an alley. 'This… Looks like where Cell came out of when he met Piccolo. Oh well, Mr. Sandman…' Hit thought as he walked into the alleyway, on guard and observing his surroundings.

'Alright the guy should be here…' Hit looked at a garbage bin. 'No, it couldn't…' Hit opened the said garbage bin and peered down in it and saw…

A human. A human man with brown hair and a blue jacket with a 23 on its chest over the heart with black pants and a blue watch-like device on his wrist, appearing to be passed out.

"..." Hit stared at the man for a solid five seconds, not uttering a word. "...Why were you in a garbage bin?" Hit asked the Human, grabbing him by his hair and pulling him out before promptly dropping him.

The man screamed and grabbed his head and butt with one hand each, rubbing them as he shot a glare at Hit. "What the hell man I was!-'' he said, his face turning to a look of confusion as he stared at Hit for a long moment, before he pinched the bridge of his nose. "God damn it Paradox! I told you not to send me to other dimensions while I'm sleeping!!"

The man stood up with a sigh and smiled at Hit. "Sorry, a time traveler from my dimension loves sending me to other Displaced world's without my permission."

"First of all, who the hell are you talking to? Second, dimensions? Third, what is Displaced?" Hit crossed his arms and goared down at him.

"I was talking to the guy that sent me here from my home. Yes, dimension multiverse is a bitch and I'm not talking about dragon ball super multiverse. And displaced are humans that have been sent to different visions of equestria throughout time and space, typically we buy something from someone at a con and poof were in a new reality." The man said. "My name is Dillan, I'm a Ben 10 displaced. I have Ben 10 ultimate alien powers with the colors of ben 23."

"...Either you're talking out of your ass or you're telling the truth. Given my situation I believe you, now, I'm going to go now and report you to Celestia." Hit turns around and begins to walk out of the alley.

"Report me?" Dillan asked Hit, an eyebrow raised in confusion as he followed the purple man.

"Yes, you are a being that is new to this world and a different race than the others." Hit explained as he began to make his way out of Manehattan.

"If that's the case I can transform into an anthro pony." Dillan said, looking around for a moment. "But unless they're ok with changelings in this dimension I don't think that's a good idea, I'd probably be accused of being one and arrested."

"Yes, there are Changelings in this world and even still, you are an extraterrestrial being capable of shapeshifting into many different races. As you are right now your strength is comparable to the Sirens, comparing you to Sombra is me being nice. Now I'll be off." Hit then begins to fly; he then looks down at Dillan. "And if you even think about wreaking havoc on this world, I will fold you like a piece of paper and throw you in the trash… Before I throw it at Celestia because she is a bitch." Hit looks away from Dillan and flies to Canterlot, crossing his arms as he does so.

Dillan blinked, before taking off after Hit and getting next to him, glancing at the assassin. "I'm at the level of the sirens huh? I guess they're about as strong as Captain Ginyu, I keep my level at his, in my base just so people won't freak out too much when I meet them."

Hit glanced back at Dillan. "Dillan, right? So indulge me in your 23 forms and if you say Saiyan…" Hit breathed in from his nose, "I will rip off your tail. Because the moon is always full here if you plan to stay the night. And it's such a hassle fighting giant gorillas, and yes I fought one, don't ask." Hit said as a bird perched on his head and used him as a ride.

"23? Oh no that's just what I started with, I've lost count on how many I have. Though I will say I have all the pokemon that can mega evolve, all the legendary and mythical Pokemon, frieza's race, namekian, the cold forces races, all the ones seen in the show and yes Saiyan. But no need to worry, I won't go oozaru unless I'm transformed into Saiyan form." He said

"...Definitely speaking to Celestia about this." Hit then ignited his aura like an engine and shot to Canterlot, destroying the sound barrier. As he did so, he looked back and… Of fucking course, Dillan was right behind him. He began to lowly growl before dissipating his aura and dropping down casually. Like before they feared him, and the guards then stiffed up.

"Oh my god he's hot." One of the Female Guards said, glancing at him as he walked by.

"He looks so… So… SO…!" The male guard said, looking at Hit with star eyes

"Badass!" The guards of Canterlot say at the same time. Hit then frowned deeply and picked up the pace as he walked up the stairs to the palace.

"Greetings, I am meeting up with the Princess." Hit said looking at the two guards.

"Alright, go on ahead and… Is that thing your pet?" A guard said, pointing at Dillan.

"No, his name is Dillan. Say hello, Dillan." Hit turned to Dillan.

"Hey, and hey! Don't talk about me like I'm a thing or I'm disabled!" He said getting ignored.

"Hello indeed." Hit walked past guarding the door and entered the palace as he did. He looked back and Dillan was still there. Hit rolled his eyes and approached the doors to the Throne room. He kicked down the door and saw Celestia stuffing her face with strawberry cake.

"Hitty! Welcome back, have you tried this cake? It's amazing, strawberry on cake, who would've known these two sweet things work together! I mean it's kinda like us, you're sweet!" Celestia said, ignoring Dillan's presence.

"Princess Celestia-" Hit began but Celestia put up her hand.

"Call me Tia!" Celestia said, "Or you can call me Lest, Celly, Ci-Ci, or you can call me… Mommy." Celestia said, fluttering her eyes.

"Ok gag!" Dillan said.

Hit looked at Celestia for two seconds. "Anyways, we have a visitor from beyond our planet. His name is Dillan, say hello Dillan." Hit said, glancing at Dillan like he was a dog.

Dillan growled and punched Hit in the side, briefly powering up to full power knocking the wind out of the assassin. "Greetings your majesty, I am a visiting dignitary from another dimension."

"Oh. My. God. YOU'RE SO CUTE!!!!" Celestia pinched Dillan's cheeks, Celestia had moved so fast that there was an after image of her on the throne. "And Dillan, what a cute name you gave him Hitty! Mind if I call you Dilly, also nice spell you gave him, granting him speaking. Classy."

"You donut do you not realize that-" Hit was interrupted by Celestia's laughter, Celestia slapped her knee and put a hand on Dillan to support herself.

"I'm just joking with you Hitty, so is that all you came here for? Do you want anything else from me? Not even-" Celestia was cut off by Hit.

"Fuck you." Hit spat at Celestia, Celestia pushed Dillan away, her strength yeeting him next to the Throne room one and only door.

"Sheesh, take me out to dinner first." Celestia said; crossing her arms and adopting a smile.

Hit looked to Dillan who was currently being peeled off the wall by some guards. "Do you see what I'm dealing with?"

Dillan nodded. "Yeah, and damn. She must be stronger than Frieza."

"That rreminds me, hey Hitty… Wanna have a spar?" Celestia said with a smile, "And don't worry… I'll be gentle." Celestia said in Hit's ear.

"Not today, don't care, don't need it, go fuck yourself!" Hit pushed Celestia out of the way before grabbing Dillan. "We're leaving before she takes my virginity."

"You're a virgin? EVEN BETTER!" Celestia called out.

"You weren't this needy last time!" Hit cries out, sweat dripping from his forehead.

"It's almost the Heat season for Mares!" Celestia responded and Hit… Opened his mouth in shock.

"...Let's go." Hit said nervously, it wasn't often he loses his cool with Celestia but the last time Heat season came about… Let's just say Hit nearly lost something he can never get back.

Hit paused as Dillan's energy began spiking, turning he saw his face was contorted in sadness and anger. "Damn it she called me Dilly…"

Hit then walked outside the Palace with Dillan in tow. "Do you want to know how I got myself into this situation? Because you and I both know I hate it here like I hate pineapple on pizza."

"... Was that a reference to that brief dragon ball super abridged?" Dillan asked.

"Correct." Hit answered Dillan professionally, god why is Hit so damn cool?

Dillan chuckles. "Anyway yes I do, if the celestia from my dimension was like that I'd… probably kill her and then revive her with the dragon balls."

"You have fucking- different universen different laws, different things." Hit then inhaled and shook his head. "Well it all began with me fighting the Sirens; they were all about as strong as Ribrianne each. Well I was distracted when Celestia popped up, pink hair at the time, to say hello. This made the Sirens run away and being the angry edgelord I am, I fought her. We were evenly matched at the time and we came to a conclusion to beat the Sirens together. We won and I got to go home… This was unfortunately not the last time we talked." Hit said with a groan.

"And she got the hots for ya." Dillan nodded slowly. "Oh and I can mix your DNA with the namekians, and give you a set of dragon balls if you want."

"Fuck no. Anyway, guess who followed me home that same day? Celestia went everywhere with me, my house, the store, the shower everywhere! She kept bugging me of wanting to be friends, and I REALLY do not see the purpose of having friends when you're an assassin. But… I conceded and became friends with her for a day, after said day I was assigned to kill Discord. Discord of all people." Hit said, crossing his arms, "Who wants to kill a chaos spirit?"

"Is that even possible?" Dillan asked. "From what I've heard he's literally made of magic and his physical form will only vanish if he loses his taste for chaos."

"I literally tried everything on Discord, beating him to death, drowning, burning, suffocating, snapping his neck, but then Celestia said something about Elements of Harmony and yet again… I submitted. And after a thousand years of not seeing each other she gave me a contract to kill Texas Red, an outlaw with a big iron on his hip. I'll give you a biscuit if you get that reference, but there was a catch… When I gave her the head… She wrote on INVISIBLE INK 'you work for me now, go to horse town, be friendly, GET A HUNDRED FUCKING FRIENDS' and now I'm here. I can't kill her and I'm her pawn." Hit said with a growl, "Just needed to vent right there."

"It's cool, also you know there's a way around that?" Dillan asked him. "If the contract said get a hundred friends I'm sure the people you've saved from this texes red guy would consider you a friend plus anyone else you've helped from evil people no one ever says you have to like them back."

"Dillan, you don't think I thought of that?" Hit said, staring at Dillan. "I have to truly bond with them and if Twilight says I bond, I bond and so far, no offense you're built like a fucking roulette." Hit said, looking at Dillan. "Meaning you're random, however if there's anything you want to do, go ahead and ask because I don't want to go back to Ponyville."

Dillan thinks and smirks at him. "how about we use my dragon balls to remove the writing from both the paper and the minds of the ponies?" He asked.

"I refuse your offer, while it may be thoughtful and kind, my pride as an assassin is too great. And besides I have never broken a single one of my contracts, I will never break one. Go ahead and ask something else to do." Hit said, crossing his arms and closing them.

"Well I'll be honest, we clearly don't have the same personality." Dillan said. "Obviously you don't like it here and I chose to be Displaced after my family and fiance died, although I think I know of something we can do that may be something we can do."

"And what may that be?" Hit inquired, quirking an eyebrow.

Dillan's smirk grows as his power rockets and his energy flows outwards causing a small earthquake. "What do you think? We're two fighters who just met, don't you think it'd be good to test our skills."

"Hm," Hit turns around and Celestia was there, making the duo jump.

"I know a place where you men can slug each other, oh and Dillan? Can you knock his jacket off so I can see his burly muscles?" Celestia asked the Omnitrix wielder.

"No, I'm not gonna help you molest someone." He said deadpanning. "Also I swear you're related to pinkie pie."

"Just… Just give us the place?" Hit said, rubbing his eyebrow. He then cracked a smile as a thought came across his mind. 'Molestia' Hit began to laugh like a certain Crimson Fucker.

"It's a wasteland!" Celestia said, throwing her hands in the air. Her horn began to shine and with a 'pop!' They were in the Badlands. "Tada~! I'll watch!" Celestia conjured some corn seeds, she began to glow and the seeds began popcorn.

"I swear to God." Dillan said, rubbing his temple. "I don't know how you're not insane."

"And I swear to Kami I don't know how either. I'll give it about… Two months." Hit said, raising two fingers up.

"Oh, is that a challenge I hear?" Celestia said, tilting her head with a smile. "Well, challenge accepted, Hitty. Also I hear that when you bite your lip you can't breathe!" There was a pause.

"Not going to fall for that." Hit said with a sigh, he looked down and kicked a pebble.

"Worth a shot." Celestia sighed, she became silent and observed the two. "You two gonna just stand there or are you going to fuc-fight! I meant to fight!"

Dillan instantly puts Celestia in a ki bubble, letting her see and breath but not be heard. "Hush Molestia the adults are fighting."

Celestia began to breathe on the bubble making some fog, she began to smile. She then wrote 'I hear if you stick your tongue out and look up you can't breath through your mouth.'

"I… Can… Can we just fight now?" Hit asked Dillan, looking at the man.

Dillan nods but whispers to him. "Are you sure she's not Chrysalis in disguise?"

"No she's not in a shell… Well now she is but shut up." Hit then kicked Dillan in his jaw, sending him skidding across the Badlands. "DODGE!"

Dillan coughed and smirks, summoning two destructo disks. Dillan jumped high into the air and launched one at Hit, as Dillan's feet began glowing and he stood on the second one like a flying saw. "Let's see what ya got!"

Hit stood firmly and didn't dodge the first one… Fazed through him to Dillan's surprise. Hit then punched the air and Dillan was knocked off the Destructo Disk. Hit then used a Ki blade to sever the Destructo Disk Dillan was on before destroying the one he fazed through with a Ki blast. "That is what I got, want more?"

In a flash Hit was punched across the Badlands back to Celestia, surprising the assassin as the ultimatrix user's watch was gone and his hourglass symbol was on his chest with a black silhouette of a being resembling a clock with hands and feet, his power skyrocketing again. "Yeah I do, let's see how you handle fighting someone else with time powers!"

Hit began to walk towards Dillan before appearing behind him, his fist out. Hit began to punch Dillan making a beam of Ki come out of Dillan. Hit began to punch the bastard from all sides, making more Ki beams come from Dillam's body. Hit then vanished and appeared behind Dillan. "Question, who are you right now?" Dillan then explodes in purple Ki.

"Clockwork." Dillan said unscathed. "I can go ultimate and use their powers in my human form, I can skip through time or even speed up time." He said a green blast of weak energy hitting a large boulder the size of an Oozaru and turning it to dust instantly. "And I can do that." He said suddenly smacking Hit into the dirt, a single ki blast erupting from Dillan's hand forcing Hit to drag along the ground.

Hit placed his palm on the ground and with a simple Ki blast Hit was sent to his feet. Hit then looked at Dillan and his eyes widened, Dillan then began to thrash in the air as he was being hit by some force. It was like Hit was punching him from afar, and then… Dillan shot to a plateau¹. Hit then put his hands in his pockets.

Dillan shot out of the plateau stretching and smirking. "How about we take this up a notch?" He asked, his hand pushing his hourglass symbol before he sprouted a tail.

Dillan's energy shot up rapidly as he screamed creating a sand storm around himself lighting and thunder shaking the ground as Celestia's ball was literally rolled away. In an instant his hair and tail became golden, until sparks erupted around him his gains pulsing as his hair grew long behind him until he shouted once more a large golden aura erupting around him revealing Dillan was standing as a super Saiyan three, his energy completely stabilized. "You ready?"

"Counting one Saiyan that I fought." Hit said, shaking his head, he then began to take a stance. A boxing one at that, Hit then clenched his fists. "Time to make the donuts." Hit shot to Dillan and struck him in the gut, making Dillan spew saliva. Hit then tripped Dillan and grabbed Dillan's foot. "I'm going to plant me a dumb ass tree." Hit then slammed Dillan into the ground making him go under the ground. The ground then splits into two like Mosus was splitting the earth, whatever it was it made a trench.

"You're just killing it with the TFS references." Dillan said, blasting Hit in the back when he vanished and appeared again behind Hit. Dillan smiled and sighed. "I can't beat you as a Saiyan since I haven't unlocked super Saiyan god yet, I won't stand a chance, however." He said with a smirk. "My frieza transformation might be able to do something!"

Dillan said, pushing his hourglass symbol again, transforming into a sleek grey alien that looked like Frieza with dark blue head and shoulder orbs. Dillan powered up as he screamed once again, a golden aura forming around himself. "Shall we?"

Hit then crouched down and shot towards Dillan, his fists being amplified with Ki energy, he then struck Dillan in his chest. Hit had made sure to miss his heart and a huge beam of Ki went from the other side of Dillan. Dillan reeled over, his pupils reappearing and vanishing rapidly, and the sheer force of Hit's Time Skip attack sent the young warrior flying into a rock formation. "Dodon Ray!" Hit then fired off a Dodon Ray and the rock formation blew up.

Dillan shot into the air and coughed. "Wow, impressive. Then again it took super Saiyan blue kaioKen Goku to beat the original Hit, so maybe i should power up more!"

Dillan flew down to Hit, and pushed his hourglass symbol to the side and pushed it down. In an instant a wave of energy surrounded him as his golden aura became silver and black a loud roar erupted from the shapeshifter as rocks and winds blew everywhere. In an instant Dillan's form became completely black with silver head and shoulders, before he punched Hit in the gut breaking a rib as he spoke in the assassin's ear. "My watch lets me power up to a new evolution of power based on a thousand years of war. Frieza achieved golden form after a few months. So using that I've unlocked this form, I think I'll call this form… black diamond."

"Hm." Hit said with a nod, he then appeared in front of Dillan… And decked him in the schnoz, sending a beam of purple Ki from his head. Hit then began to slide left to right in the air as Dillan continued to get punched in his gut. Hit then showed his palm to Dillan, placing it mere millimeters from Dillan's face. Using his Time Skip Hit punched Dillan in his face, breaking his nose, he then began to bleed from his nose. As Dillan held his nose, he realized that Hit wasn't in front of him.

"Too slow." As Dillan turned around he was punched in his gut, Dillan's eyes vanished rapidly. Hit brought his hands together and raised his arms high before bringing his hands down onto Dillan. Dillan was sent to the earth, making a crater. Hit began to put his hands in a triangle shape. "Kikoho." Before Dillan thought of getting up he was hit by a devastating Ki blast. Making a triangular crater. "Took me a while to make the Kikoho crater look like a triangle."

Dillan growled and appeared behind Hit, spin kicking him into the hole he had created. "Damn, I don't think I can win this."

"You would be correct," Hit said, placing a hand on Dillan's shoulder. When Dillan had told around his face went on a date with Hit's knee, needless to say but they sure as hell smashed. Dillan reeled back from the attack and when the stars aligned… Hit began his combo. Hit began to punch Dillan rapidly, his face, abdomen, and his rib. Hit was precise and merciless, Hit then raised his arm high and in an instant Dillan hit the ground like a bag of rocks. As Dillan slowly began to stand up, Hit appeared in front of him and gave him a punch, using his Time Skip he used his Ultimate move. Time Skip Molotov. Hit began to punch Dillan in his Time Skip faster than a machine gun can shoot. As he did, Hit began to think…

'I wonder what Displaced I'm going to interact with next? Maybe another Hit, or Thanos. That'd be cool.' Hit said before he stopped. "It's over." Hit stopped his Time Skip and Dillan began to thrash in the air like he was having a seizure mid-air. Dillan coughed up an ungodly amount of blood and was flung into rock after rock before Hit stopped Dillan from continuing with a palm strike that sent him downwards. Dillan hit the ground and Hit crossed his arms before floating down. Hit looked down at Dillan, "You're lucky I didn't hit your vital points, otherwise you'd be dead."

Dillan starts chuckling slowly before laughing uncontrollably. "Man that was awesome!" He said standing up a blue light erupting from him as he returned to normal. "I knew I couldn't beat you from the begging and using a form I'm not familiar with yet didn't help. But at least I know I can damage you with black diamond… How's your ribs? I felt a couple break when I hit ya."

"It's nothing that time can't fix, all can heal if you give it time. Now, another question for you…" Hit began to lean towards Dillan Michale Jackson style. "How does a Displaced get summoned, because I bet that there's more than just getting thrown out of your universe by a Time Man." Hit inquired.

"Yeah, aside from me thanks to paradox." He said looking extremely annoyed. "Displaced make tokens with oaths that only other Displaced can hear usually… not sure how or why though." Dillan said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a blue hourglass pad like the one in his watch. "This is my token, to summon a Displaced person just call their name when you're holding their token. To make one get something that represents you and speak your oath and throw it into the multiverse."

"Understood." Hit brings out his Job Receiver, and looks down at it. "My name is Hit, I am a Hitman who will give your worst enemy's head to anyone who has the money for it. Call upon me if you need a job done, I am Equus Hitman." A split copy of his Job Receiver floated to the sky and with a pop! It was gone. "Neat."

"That was so cheesy." Celestia said, looking at Hit.

"How did you get out?" Hit inquired, looking at the Princess and putting his Job Receiver into his pocket.

"Oh I got out a long time ago, did you even THINK for a second that I'm not strong? Because I'm an Alicorn and you're a purple man with a dick head." Celestia said with a frown.

"You make a fair point, now I believe it's time for you, Dillan, to flee." Hit said, putting his hands in his pockets and staring at Dillan.

"Flee? Like someone's gonna come after me?" Dillan asked, raising an eyebrow as he dug into a brown bag.

Celestia slowly got a warhammer out and it ignited. "Listen to Hit, because I do not appreciate being in that bubble. Even though it was brief, I have to thank you for giving me a chance to… Relieve myself. Now I suggest you bugger off before I shove my warhammer where the sun does not shine. And I am the Princess of said Sun, so you can imagine where I'm going to put it." Celestia said, her coat began to glow brightly.

"...You really need to go, last time she was like this she blew up two arcapelligos." Hit said, looking at Dillan.

Dillan glanced at Celestia for a second, before twisting his watch as it appeared on his chest with a silhouette of discord. Dillan snapped his fingers as Celestia's hammer, horn, and wings vanished. "Relax, I'll leave once I find what I'm looking for." He said, shoving his head into the bag completely.

"...You do know that even still that the physical form of my horn is gone does not mean that I can not use magic." Celestia said with a raised eyebrow. "Have you not read the books from… Wherever you're from?" Celestia asked Dillan, she then shook her head. "Hm, in any case, Hit, would you mind taking me back to Canterlot."

"No, I wouldn't." Hit said plainly, "Although I'll stay here just in case this bastard does anything stupid." Hit said, crossing his arms.

"Ah ha!" Dillan said popping his head out of the bag and giving Hit a capsule. "Here, I give all the Displaced I meet a set of these. I know you said you didn't want any but I used my namekian form to make some… modifications to them. One wish, no immortality, wishes can't be made against someone's will." He said glancing at Celestia as did Hit. "and no evil wishes can be made, also there's a bunch of senzu beans in it." He smiled. "Oh! And another big detail they don't fly off once used, they land at your feet however the recharge time is longer. Consider it my thanks for the spar and just in case of emergencies."

"Hm, well, I believe that this should be in the right hands…" Hit glanced at Celestia. "My own, I have an idea of what to wish for…" He then began to smile.

"That was a 70 inch plasma white screen TV…" Alucard said, staring at Luke Valentine. "So what can I help you with?"

"Optimus fucking Prime to be in this world. Like imagine Dillan, Optimus fucking Prime dude." Hit said, smiling mentally.

Dillan laughs and slaps his head. "Oh man that would be better than the dino king transformer guy I met… crud I can't remember his name." Dillan sighed and thought for a moment. "I think I was gonna Suggest something else to you, more like ask… oh yeah! Want me to make you part Saiyan?"

"FUCK! NO!" Hit yelled, "I WILL NOT. WILL. NOT. Be turned into Mr. Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Five Trillion!" Hit said with venom oozing out of his voice. "Dragon Ball was better when Piccolo was as strong as the Saiyans! Anyways, run before Twilight catches up to me."

Dillan shrugs. "Alright, I could make you part namekian or something as well if you want or something else. You can summon me whenever you want if you do." He said.

"Do you know what you can do? Give me a Desert Eagle, the gun. I always wanted a gun." Hit suggested to Dillan. "Guns are underappreciated."

Dillan shrugs and snaps his fingers as said weapon appeared in Hit's hands. "There ya go."

'OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING!!!' Hit yelled in his mind. "Many thanks, now leave. Go. We've been saying goodbye for like five hours now."

Dillan smiled again and pushed his hourglass symbol again as the same clock silhouette from before appeared above his head. "Very well then Hit, it's been very nice to meet you. And I hope you can consider your friend's goal down one now?" He asked, holding out his hand to shake.

"...No." Hit said plainly, "But you're currently an acquaintance, not a friend." Hit said, shaking Dillan's hand.

"Close enough." Dillan smiles. "If you ever want to soar again let me know it'd be fun." He said walking away, before a blue flash erupted around him and shot into the sky.

And like that this adventure came to a close. Hit wasn't really serious when he wanted that wish… Right?

"Hey Shenron, get Optimus Prime to appear right in front of me!"

...God dammit Tim.

Author's Note

I wanna say, thank you to my man here for crossovering with me. I'm on a trip to California and I'm currently on my phone, my computer at good ol' Florida. So chapters are difficult to write, but this wasn't all that too difficult. Once more, shout out to my man, PEACE!

Chapter 6: Lovestruck.

"Alright, there we go we have your underground home ready. It needs some tweaking but you'll manage, right?" I said, looking at Optimus. We had been with each other for two days, no one knows about this but me. I had lied to him about needing his aid because I felt like Evil was coming. Like Hell it is. Optimus looked down at me as he sat down in his cave.

"I'll manage, though I have a question. Why are you preventing me from seeing these… Ponies?" Optimus inquired, I crossed my arms.

"Well, they would freak out. You're an Autobot, a Cybertronian, a man of metal. What would they think if they saw a man of war such as yourself? Everyone is terrified of me due to my Hitman status." I told Optimus, Optimus nodded.

"I suppose you are right, with the amount of blood on my hands I would be seen as a monster. Added with the idea I can turn into a vehicle that they do not understand doesn't help either. I will stand here and guard the Everfree Forest as its protector. If you ever need my aid, be sure to call upon me." Optimus kneeled down and looked at me.

"And call me if you need help." I said with a smile, I then sighed. "And now I have to deal with the day I hate the most."

"You seem troubled, can you tell me what today is?" Optimus Prime asked me, I sigh.

"Hearts and Hooves day, this world's Valentine's Day. I hate the day because everyone shows more love than they're use to. And being single during this day, people or rather ponies shame you. I had never wanted a girlfriend throughout my life. I believe that they're pointless." I said, looking at Optimus.

"It would seem that this race has taken a lot after Humans. This Hearts and Hooves Day makes you feel uneasy because you're asexual and feel that the love isn't real, that is what I've gathered. I understand, the AllSpark gave birth to us all and we could not reproduce. The only way to make another Cybertronian was to melt the body and forge a sibling. There were female Cybertronian like Arcee, though she died during the war on Cybertron she had something for Cliffjumper." Optimus said to me. "They could only embrace, nothing else, but the love was real. We never had a need for Valentine's Day nor a Hearts and Hooves Day because they didn't need a reason to celebrate our love if we do it all the time."

"Exactly, you understand, now I'll need to go to Ponyville. Do. Not. Go into the cave on the southern side of the Everfree Forest, a Dragon dwells there." I warned the Cybertronian.

"Understood, I wish you luck on your endeavors." Optimus bid me farewell and I flew away to Ponyville.

Oh boy…

When I arrived I felt love in the air, and I looked to my right and I saw the Mail Pony flying stupidly and spinning out somewhere. I shook my head and descended downwards. My feet touched the soil and I began to walk down the streets of Ponyville. The market was up and Applejack was selling caramel apples, to which I walked to.

"Howdy there Hit, want some caramel apples? Ah made em mahself!" Applejack smiled, I looked at one.

"Sure I'll take one, but I'm not going to eat it." I said as I took it, Applejack's eyes widened in shock.

"My oh my, do ya have a special pony yer gonna give it to?" Applejack said, with a cheeky smile.

"Not in that way, no, I'm going to give this to Twilight. As thanks for providing me food, shelter, and water. She's been nothing but nice to me, and I respect that." I answered honestly, "And for Spike I'll give him this." I brought out a red ruby. I then pull out some bits, "I'm only doing this because of the holiday spirit, nothing Friendship wise, just thanking them."

"Uh huh, well, ah'll do it for free since yer bein' nice!" I dropped a bag of bits in front of her, it was the size of a melon. I then take a caramel apple.

"Farewell." I took my leave and Applejack's mouth went agape. I made my way to Golden Oaks Library and on my walk I ran into the Crusaders. Not literally but you know what I mean.

"Hey Hit, why are you not with a mare? Or with anypony?" Scootaloo asked me, I glanced down at Scootaloo.

"Because I don't have one." I answered simply, Applebloom opened her eyes wide.

"How do you not have a marefriend? You're handsome!" Applebloom said, looking at me. At first I was shocked she found me attractive but then my thoughts went somewhere else as I imagined myself with Handsome Squidwards face. I shook the thought off with a shiver.

"Because I do not see the purpose of having a girlfriend or marefriend as you say it. I work alone and having a girlfriend will hinder it, why you ask? Because. I. Work. Alone. I do not need anyone but myself." I said with a frown, I then walked away in a huff. I don't like friends for a lot of things, one of them being that they spill secrets sooner or later.

As I walked away a smile came across the fillies face, I wonder why though. As I reached Golden Oaks Library I knocked on its door. Twilight opened the door, Spike right behind her. Twilight looked at me and began to blush furiously, thinking that I am giving this to her because I love her. I do not.

"H-H-H-Hit?!" Twilight stammered, obviously flustered.

"I am giving this to you because you were nice to me. Providing me food, shelter, and water, this is a thank you gift." I hand the caramel apple to Twilight. "As for you Spike, you're a good kid and have room to grow. Thanks for being nice to me." I hand Spike a red ruby, I then turn around. "I'm only doing this because of the Holiday spirit. Any less of me would be insulting."

"Um, thanks Hit I don't know what to say. Would you say that we're your friends?" Twilight asked, thinking I would say yes.

"No." I then shot off to the skies, I was then approached by the Mail Pony who looked retarded.

"Hello uh, are you Hit?" She said stupidly, I cross my arms.

"Indeed I am." I answered, the Mail Pony got a letter out from her back and gave it to me.

"Well, here ya go. Bye Hit!" The Mail Pomy flies away, "Gonna get myself some muffins!" I facepalm, Abridged Goku incarnate.

I looked at the letter with curiosity, and I began to open it. When I did I read said letter like any sane person would do. It read 'Dear Hit, I am your biggest fan, ever since you came to Ponyville I've been thinking of you nonstop. I know this is Hearts and Hooves Day but can we hang out, not as coltfriend and marefriend but as friends? Meet me at Saddle Lake. From, your Number One Fan."

"Hmph, I don't see why I can't." I put the letter in my pocket and I flew to Saddle Lake. I reached the lake in a matter of seconds. I spotted Cheerilee sitting down, a picnic basket in front of her. 'It couldn't be her could it? Hm, just in case however…' I descend and I touch the soil. I walked towards her and stopped mere feet from her.

"Uh, hello Hit, are you my secret admirer?" Cheerilee asked me, I quirked an eyebrow.

"Are you? I had gotten a message that someone was my fan and wanted to meet me." I answered Cheerilee calmy.

"I had gotten a message that somepony loved me and wanted to meet me. I just wanted to humor them and not break their heart." Cheerilee said, I then sat down.

"Someone must be trying to get us together. I'm not in need of a marefriend or coltfriend." I then sat down on the grass, Cheerilee sighed.

"Me too, I hadn't wanted a girlfriend or coltfriend. Since I had a divorce with my husband I… Hadn't really loved anyone. I know I am in no place to ask but… Why do you not like love?" Cheerilee asked me, I crossed my arms.

"I plead the fifth." I said, I don't need a reason, I just don't find anything attractive.

"Uh huh so, what made you become a Hitman?" I closed my eyes when Cheerilee asked me this.

"Following my family business." I answered, "I was raised to kill, and I don't mind it as well." It was sort of true, I was a hunting boy, shooting down animals and what not.

"So… You never had a say in the matter?" Cheerilee asked me.

"Yes, I had a say, I chose to be a Hitman." I answered the Teacher's question. "Our talk has been nice but I'll be going now." I stood up, Cheerilee did as well.

"Yeah, it's time for me to head home." Cheerilee nodded, and we then went our separate ways. Me walking one way, Cheerilee walking the other. I went to Golden Oaks Library where I headed inside. When I went inside Spike walked up to me with pancakes.

"Uh, I just wanted to thank you for the ruby. It was really tasty." Spike said, with a smile. I hadn't eaten all day.

"Thank you Spike." I took the plate from him, it had a fork and syrup on the pancakes. I walked towards the dining table and sat down. I ate my meal as Spike stared at me. "What do you want?" I asked Spike.

"So… Have you met any dragons?" Spike asked me, I glanced at him, as curious as he was. Curious that he would ask such a question.

"Yes, and before you ask, yes, I have slain a fair share of dragons." I said as Spike gulped in fear.

"S-so… What opinions do you have on them?" Spike inquired, I took a sip of water.

"They're cultured and look pretty cool. I met the Dragon Lord myself and he's pretty nice if you get to know him." I put the cup down.

"You met THE Dragon Lord?" Spike said, his jaw dropping. I nodded.

"Indeed, he and I fought once and he was pretty strong." I said as Spike beamed.

"So… Cool! Tell me more!" And thus I spent some time telling him about the Dragon Lord and I.

"And that's how Torch and I became associates." I told Spike the story of how I helped the dragons with a meteorite.

"Wow… You're so cool!" Spike beamed, "I want to be like you one day. Well not JUST like you but I want to learn from you. You probably have some cool Hitman stuff, right?" Spike said, I sighed.

"You have no idea," I said as I shook my head. "I have a technique where I can sprout and extra two arms."

"What?! That'd be SO useful when helping Twilight." Spike said with a sigh.

"Is all you do, help Twilight? Do you have any other hobbies or do you just follow her around?" I asked Spike.

"Uh, I usually just go on adventures with her and her friends. And even then I'm not really helpful, sometimes she just leaves me here to just… Read." Spike answered honestly.

"Hm, why don't you make friends like Twilight? The Crusaders are a good option, Snips and Snails as well." I responded to Spike.

"Well the Crusaders are too hyper and want to get their cutie mark, and I don't want to be a labrat for their experiments. And Snips and Snails are just…" Spike put his hand up and waved it around trying to formulate the words.

"Idiots?" I said, trying to help Spike out.

"Yeah! They're a but on the dumber side and I can't find anyone who has the same interests as me." Spike says honestly.

"Those books ruined your childhood, you're suppose to be out there having fun. Not reading books, hm, because our talks are nice I'll help you find a friend." I get up, and walk towards the door. Spike was happy but then got confused.

"But we're friends!" Spike hopped off his chair and followed me to the door.

"Associates!" I answered as I headed out the door. Spike followed me and I looked around. "Now, I think the afterschool is over here. You should really enlist in afterschool, you're young and need interaction. I know you're smarter than the others now given you and Twilight are like siblings but camaraderie is needed."

"What is com-rah-dairy?" Spike tilted his head.

"My point proven, also camaraderie is the Magic of Friendship but cooler." I said, "Magic of Friendship is far too girly, Camaraderie is just… More manly."

"Yeah, sometimes saying the Magic of Friendship… Makes me feel like a girl." Spike said with a shiver.

"Well, let's g-" I was then hit on the head by a letter. I growl and open the letter.

'Come to Saddle Lake'

"Spike, go to the schoolhouse, I have to deal with something." I turned around and walk to Saddle Lake.

"But why?" Spike said with a pout, I stopped and glanced back at him.

"Think of it like this, you want to be independent right? So you must do things on your own, goodbye." I walked away and Spike stood there in surprise before walking away.

As I approached the Saddle Lake there was a picnic table with two bottles of juice. I sat on the bench and looked around, wondering why I was here. Why did I even come here?

"Hm, why did I come here?" Was it to get away from Spike? Was it to be alone or just my habit of following orders?

"Hit?" I snapped out of my trance. Cheerilee walked out from the bushes, "Why are you out here? Who is up to this?"

"I'm confident that it's the Crusaders. Seeing as we're both here it must be a ploy set up by the Crusaders to get us together." I said with a sigh, Cheerilee walked over and sat down on the bench.

"It must have taken them a while to bring this all together for us, so we should at least drink the strawberry punch." Cheerilee said, reaching for the bottle. I open mine and I gaze into it, I take a whiff of it and I opened my eyes wide in realization.

"Cheerilee wait!" I said, looking at Cheerilee in horror. But I was too late, her pupils turned into hearts.

"Will you be my very special pony?" Cheerilee said with a smile. I immediately noped out of there and jumped two meters back.

"YES!" The Crusaders said, throwing their hands in the air.

"No, I will not be your special pony." I took a step back, this potion is available on the Black Market, normally used to use mares for sex.

"Oh come on my baby boo, my purple beanie weenie." Cheerilee walked towards me like a zombie and stuck her arms out in front of me.

"Ew!" The Crusaders said in disgust, they then ran away to god who knows where.

'Oh HELL no!' I then began to sprint to Golden Oaks Library. I never bothered with the Love Potion so I do not know the cure. I parkoured over people, houses, barrels, and concession stands. I then did a front flip and arrived at Golden Oaks Library. 'Parkour!' I thought in Michael Scott's voice. I then open the door and close it before locking every single lock in the library.

"Hit, Hit, HIT!" Twilight yelled as I ended my crusade. "What are you doing?"

"Asked them what they did." I glared at the Crusaders who were in the Library.

"We're sorry Hit, we just wanted you to be happy…" Scootaloo said, being sad about upsetting me.

"Yeah we didn't know that Cheerilee would act like this." Sweetiebelle said, pressing her two index fingers against each other.

"We're sorry we gave Cheerilee that love potion." Applebloom said with a sigh.

"YOU WHAT?!?!? Do you know what the Love Potion did to the King and Queen? The whole kingdom was destroyed because they were too focused on love! If Hit didn't drink it, then Cheerilee would do uncanny measures just to make Hit love her! You need to prevent them from seeing each other for an hour then the spell will wear off." Twilight said to all of us.

"R-right!" The Crusaders said, pumped up that they're not in trouble.

"Understood." I nodded, I turned to the door but it was then being pulled on rapidly. "She's here." I rolled to the door, to the side where someone wouldn't see me if they did open it.

Suddenly there was a wood snapping sound and I turned towards the door. An axe was shown from the door and everyone's blood ran cold. Cheerilee chopped at the door again and peeked in. "Here's Cheerilee!" I flew through the roof yelling in my mind. "Come back my lovey dovey darling!"

"No!" I said, I looked around, 'Where would I be safe? The sky, yes, she would never- Wait… Is that a blimp? WHERE DID SHE GET A FUCKING BLIMP?!?!?'

"Don't run from our love Hitty witty!" Cheerilee said in a sing song tone.

"FUCK YOU!!!" I yelled at Cheerilee.

"If you come close I will!" Cheerilee said with lust in her eyes, literally!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" I screamed as I flew to Canterlot, breaking the sound barrier. I look at the Palace and I crash into the throne room startling everyone. I then get up to my feet and stare at Celestia. "Princess Celestia I need to hide somewhere to get away from someone who drank a love potion and is now on the hunt for me." I said, my monotone voice showing some sighs of fear.

"Oh god I knew this would happen some day, to the bunker!" Celestia said, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the throne. She touches a button and the throne splits apart and reveals a corridor. "In here, go." I head in the corridor and Celestia closes it. "Now we wait…"

I walked down the bunker with haste, metal doors closing behind me as I walked past them. I then reached a room with a refrigerator, a bed, some board games, and a bunch of books. I then sighed, I was safe here, there was no way that she would ever reach- SLAM!

"We're sorry Hit, we couldn't hold her off!" An exhausted Celestia said, guards groan on the other side.

"Oh Hitty, I'm coming!" The metal doors began to break down as she approaches me. Door after door as she was getting close I was screaming the whole time.

"KAMI HAVE MERCY!!!"

Fourty Five Minutes Later...

I sat there, out on the ocean, laying down on a raft. I had escaped Canterlot, I went to Manehatten, Minos, Griffonstone, and even the Dragon Lands. She followed me in all of those locations. Now I'm at the bottom of the world, somewhere in Antarctica on a raft. I was cold…

"Hit's Log, entry number 202… I've been evading the loved crazed Cheerilee for what it seems like years now. I'm not sure if I can keep on running, I'm hungry and tired. I'm currently in Antarctica hanging out with this Orca." I said glancing at the Orca that I've been playing fetch with, it was currently doing circles around me. I raise the fetching stick up before throwing it weakly away. "The bottom of the world is colder than the top of it, I can't feel my legs or my fingers… Or my right arm because it's asleep now. I'm suffering here, I'm fading away… Bleh." I close my eyes, and fake death.

"Ey yo get the fuck up and throw that stick again." The Orca demanded, I grab the stick with my left arm. "Yeah, just like that." I then throw the stick far and the Orca swims away.

"What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning…" I sang before coughing out ice. "Way hay and up she rises, way hay and up she rises, way hay and up she rises early in the morning… Oh god I've resorted to singing to calm down. We're in the endgame now…" I groaned.

"HITTY!!!!" I hear the voice of Cheerilee.

"NOOOOO!!!!" I shot off to the skies, going faster than I've ever gone before. I then flew to Ponyville. I arrived in a minute and I hit the roads of Ponyville. Landing on my feet and skidding to a halt. "How long has it been?" I said, glancing at Twilight and her friends who built a shelter for me that I ordered around twenty minutes ago.

"Fifty five minutes, five more minutes and you're free." Twilight said, I then moon walk into the shelter.

"We'll hold the line!" Applejack said, "Alright girls, Hit needs our help to stop this curse. We need to hold her off for five more minutes!"

"Ma'am yes ma'am!" The girls saluted, I just close the shelter's doors. I then peek through the peekjole which went both ways.

"Are we gonna let our friend get harrassed?" Applejack paced like a Drill Sargent.

"No ma'am!" The girls say eith determination in their eyes.

"Then let's try out best!" Applejack said, and the girls woop. Cheerilee walked down the streets of Ponyville, already back from the other side of the world.

"Where's my Hitty witty?" Cheerilee wondered before looking at the shelter. Rainbow Dash cracked up.

"Hitty witty, pfft!"

"Rainbow Dash, focus!"

"Alright, alright. Now listen here Cheerilee if anyone is going to smash Hit it's gonna be me. Wait that didn't come out right, I mean my foot hitting his no-" Cheerilee frowned at Rainbow Dash's comment.

"Stay away from… My Hitty!" Cheerilee grabbed Rainbow Dash's foot before tossing her aside. Fluttershy walked up to Cheerilee.

"I- Um… I would appreciate you not throwing my friends. M-maybe you can stop making Hit uncomfortable. I-I mean if you want to." Fluttershy hid behind her mane and Cheerilee just walked past her, not even bothering with her.

"Now you listen here, I'm all for lady's pursuing their dream coltfriend but this is unladylike! Now can you explain for a sec-" Rarity was pushed away, knocking her off balance and making her fall in mud. "My dress, my mane! IT'S RUINED!!!" Rarity then runs away, defeated.

"Look at me Cheerilee, ooh that rhymed!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing around Cheerilee. She then played a bunch of instruments all at once to distract her from me. But all failed, "Aw…"

"Let's see, what spell can stop Cheerilee… Oh, that wall spell!" Twilight casts a spell that made a brickwall in front of her. Twilight smiled in victory… Only for that smile to turn upside down when Cheerilee kicked the wall down.

"I've had it!" Applejack lassos Cheerilee and began pulling on her, Big Macintosh, and Applebloom began to pull on the rope. It was working… Sorta, Cheerilee was still walking towards me.

"My time has come." I said with a sigh, we did all that we could. We tried so hard to get so far, but in the end it didn't even matter.

"Hitty… Together forevor!" Cheerilee opens the door.

'Please be gentle!' I said in my mind as I closed my eyes and prepared for this worst. But the worst never came, Inopened ky eyes and I saw Cheerilee, her eyes no longer hearts. She then began to look around, confused. "Cheerilee?"

"Hit? Whwre am I?" Cheerilee turned around, and looked at the destruction she caused. Big Macintosh put the Crusaders in front of Cheerilee.

"Um, Cheerilee? We… Gave you a love potion so that you and Hit could find love with each other. We're sorry for everything." Sweetiebelle said, looking down at the ground and kicking a rock.

"We're sorry." They all say at the same time, I kind of felt sorry for the three. But it was up to Cheerilee if she wanted to forgive them.

"Well, if you promise to never do it again, EVER, then I forgive you." Cheerilee said with a smile.

"We promise!" They beamed, a small smile threatened to show. Me and her walk out of the shelter and we look at each other.

"So Saturday?" Cheerilee asked me, I nodded.

"Saturday." We both walk away from each other and went our seperate ways. I have no idea what she meant by Saturday but I look forward to that day.

In Antartica

"Ey yo where the fuck is that purple ni-"

Chapter 7: You And I Aren't So Different...

I crashed through the broken city of Manehattan and landed onto a pile of rubble. I got up, blood dripped from my forehead, my clothes in tatters. I was then kicked at the side of the head, I raised my forearm to block it and I was sent through the rubble. I then halted myself by digging my fingers into the dirt, I then slowly got up shakily. My knees weak, arms heavy, from the skies I saw Tirek, Chrysalis, Discord, Adagio, Aria, Sonata, (human forms) and a shadow figure dropped down in front of me.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen, the great and powerful Hit now being beaten and bloodied." The Shadowy Figure said with a peal of chilling laughter that sent shivers down my spine.

"It's, like, such a shame too," Sonata said, "You were kind of hot." Sonata smirked, her eyes began to glow with malicious magic.

"Really? Why would you want to be with a pathetic bastard like Hit?" Chrysalis said with a quirked eyebrow.

"Go fuck yourself!" I shouted, I used my Time-Skip to stop everyone immediately, I threw a punch at Chrysalis, only for an orangish black aura to stop my fist in its tracks. I glance at Discord and I grit my teeth.

"Well I can, but I'd much rather you breed with me." Chrysalis jokes, my eyes twitched with rage.

"Yeah, no, I can't allow you to do that. However, with your puny strength, you wouldn't be able to do anything to harm her!" Discord laughed at me.

"And with Magic, I obtained from the tomb of Umbra the Dark, I've become a God!" Tirek clenched his fist, his fist began to glow with the darkest of Dark Magic.

"And with the power boost we've gained by accessing the Gates of Negativity, we're unstoppable!" Adagio crossed her arms and looked down at me.

"You're weak Hit." Aria said, leaning down at me and staring me in my eye. "And yet, I can't help but feel sorry for you. Imagine being an Assassin at the top of his game, but suddenly dragged down to this HELL by a fucking moron."

"Aw! Don't say mean things to my friend, Hit!" Sonata complained.

"Friend, that word stings doesn't it, Hit? You have built this lovely thing you have here and we came and struck it down. How does it make you feel? Hopeless?" Aria asked me, I clenched my teeth in anger.

"I don't think I'm done with him just yet, I want to hear him squeal under my boot." Adagio said with a malicious smile, I growl in anger, I will not be humiliated by some level-headed bitch like her!

"Ladies, please, now Hit… You're powerless, weak, pathetic, nothing but a fly. But… If you join us, I can make you something more." The Shadowy Figure spoke, "Join us Hit, and become something more than just a Hitman."

"You know what?" I chuckled, I then jumped back and hopped on the broken buildings to go high in the air. "No! My life as a Hitman will NEVER be over! I will gain one hundred friends and I will complete my mission! So fuck Hives, fuck Umbra, fuck Gates, AND FUCK YOU!!! SHIIIIINN!!!! KIKOHO!!!!" I roared as I shot the most powerful Kikoho I could muster. It blew the rest of the city away and made a huge dust cloud. I then panted heavily, did I get them? Did I win?

I then heard a sigh, "Men, so stubborn." I got a chill from my spine and I looked behind me to spot Adagio who fired off a Ki blast at me. Sending me downwards, I then hit the sides of the building I was next to and hit the ground. I coughed up blood, I was on my stomach. I then tried feebly to get up, I got to about knee level before my legs couldn't continue further. They were exhausted from the battle and the Kikoho, I looked in front of me and I saw the villains lined up with an index finger pointed at me. Ki began to form from their fingertips. And the Shadowy Figure licked his sharp teeth.

"I was hoping you would be smart and comply, but what was I thinking anyway? Offering help to a lowly Hitman such as yourself, at a point in my life I admired you. But now I see the man who you truly are, nothing but a weak, pathetic fool. Goodbye… ##s###…" The Shadowy Figure said with a grin, the Villains then fired their Ki waves at me, blowing me away along with the rest of the city… From the rubble, there were three flowers with sad faces on them, withered and petal-less.

I woke up, my eyes opening wide as I scrambled upwards. I then sighed heavily and looked at my hand. Was… Was that a nightmare or a wet dream? ...A wet nightmare? It must be, there's no way it couldn't be one, no way otherwise.

"Hit, are you alright? You were muttering something about your Hitman life will never end." Spike said, looking at me, I glanced at the lad. It was early in the morning and I sighed before I patted the lad.

"Nothing you should be worried about, me either, it was just a bad dream." I then get up from my mattress. I had been sleeping on a mattress for weeks in the spare bedroom. I had no bed but a mattress.

"Hitmen can have nightmares? You can have nightmares?!" Spike said in awe, I shook my head.

"Of course we can, we are living beings just like you. Everyone can have nightmares, even Celestia." I said as I walked out of the spare bedroom and out into the main library. I inhaled through my nose and smelt pancakes with syrup.

"Even Celestia?" Spike said in awe as we walked into the dining room where my plate was prepared, Twilight was currently eating her pancakes.

"Yes, even Celestia." I nodded, as I sat down at my seat Twilight looked over to me and swallowed her breakfast.

"What are you two talking about?" Twilight asked, Spike, looked at Twilight.

"We're talking about Hit's nightmare and even ponies- er, guys as strong as him can have them!" Spike chirped, Twilight raised an eyebrow, her horn began to glow and a notebook and quill popped into existence.

"So what was your nightmare about?" Twilight asked me, I glanced at her, I wouldn't tell her everything only some.

"My nightmare was about me dying from the forces of evil, well, that isn't how I prefer to go. I'd rather die on the job, killing targets." I said with a sigh, I missed my old life, and I missed my home in the Frozen North.

"You die? How? You're one of the strongest ponies that I know! Er, guy-thing." Twilight said, writing down what she had learned.

"Just because I am strong doesn't mean I am unbeatable.” I replied, “There are many who are stronger than me, Celestia rivals me in powers. Discord as well and… I forgot who they were…” I said, not knowing of the other princess.

“Hm… Well-” Twilight was cut off when Pinkie Pie busted through the door.

"Twilight I don't know what to do, there is this new Donkey in town who dodged all of my offers of Friendship! I tried singing, introducing myself, everything!" Pinkie wailed dramatically, I just looked at her before glancing at Twilight.

"How about you go for a walk while I deal with this, okay?" Twilight offered.

"Will do," I said with a nod, I then walked out the door and closed the door behind me. When I walked out I began to make my way to the Town Hall. It's the place where job offers are and where any newcomer would likely go to. Ponies waved and smiled at me as they walked past me, I don't get it, why are they so forgiving? I walked into Town Hall walking past Mayor Mare.

"Excuse me, can I ask you something?" Mayor Mare asked, I stopped and glanced back at her.

"What is the question?" I asked the Mayor of Ponyville.

"Are you enjoying your stay here in Ponyville?" Mayor Mare asked, let's see… I got my head stuck in a tree, forced here without my free will, got an annoying welcome party, chased by a love-induced Cheerilee across the globe, forced to work at Sugarcube Corner for a day, encountered a man with a watch that has weird powers… Yeah…

"No," I said as I turned away, I then walked inside Town Hall and Mayor Mare blinked in surprise. She didn't think I'd be so cold. I then walked down a corridor and saw a seventy-inch sign with posters on them. I saw a lone donkey looking at the job posters.

"Now where do I need to work to get away from that Pink menace." The Donkey said, I walked up next to the Donkey.

"I do believe Hayburger is the right place to work. It's far from Sugarcube Corner, where said Pink menace works at." I suggested it to the Donkey.

"Huh? You know that crazy mare?" The Donkey asked me.

"I have experiences with her, yes. But what I suggest is that you do average there, not good, not bad. If you do too good, word would get around town. If you do too bad, you will get fired." I spoke in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Well, thanks for the help. My name is Cranky Doodle." Cranky stuck his hand out, I then took it.

"My name is Hit, it is a pleasure to meet you. Let me show you the way to Hayburger." I said, walking with Cranky. "I won't guarantee that you'll be safe forever, but for some time." I then open the door to the exit and we walk out the back. As we did, I decided to make conversation. "So what made you come to this not-so-average town?" I asked the Donkey.

"Well, it's a long story. There was once a Donkey that I loved, she loved me back. But suddenly she… Vanished." Cranky said solemnly, I looked down at him with sympathy. "Since then I've looked everywhere for her, from Manehatten to Las Pegasus. Then I gave up and came to retire here."

"Hm, maybe someone here knows about your love's location. Have you been here before?" I asked the Donkey.

"No," Cranky replied.

"Who knows, maybe she's here," I said with a shrug.

"Oh, I doubt that," Cranky said with a chuckle, I looked at him before submitting and nodding. As we approached Hayburger, I looked behind me, making sure Pinkie Pie wasn't there. I then opened the door for him and he went in, when he did so we walked up to the counter.

"Are you here to order something?" The Cashier asked us, I turned to Cranky.

"No, I'm here to apply for a job here. As a Janitor." Cranky said, the Cashier opened his eyes wide.

"A Janitor eh? Go to the Manager's office in the back. Are you applying as well?" The Cashier looked at me.

"No, I am simply helping a Donkey out," I replied, the Cashier nodded.

"Alright, do you want something here?" I looked above and my eyes were glued on the Vanilla Shake, I love those things.

"Vanilla Shake please, that is all," I told the Cashier my order.

"Righty right-o! Vanilla Shake please!" The Cashier called out. "This one is on the house, for helping somepony get a job here."

"I appreciate it." I then did a short bow to the Cashier. Eventually, a Vanilla Shake appeared and I took it. "Thank you."

"No problem-o!" The Cashier replied with a grin, I blinked and slowly scooted away. Cranky walked out of the Manager's office.

"I got the job," Cranky said with a thumb's up, I gave him a thumb's up in return.

"Congratulations Cranky Doodle.” I replied, “Are we… Friends now?” Cranky Doodle tilted his head.

“I think you can say we are, why do you ask?” Cranky Doodle inquired, I took a sip of my Vanilla Shake before speaking.

“Well, the Princess tasked me to make one hundred friends, so that’s why I asked. But I am proud to call you a friend, you’re a nice guy.” I told Cranky Doodle, Cranky Doodle looks at me with sympathy.

“Hm, well good luck on your endeavor.” Cranky Doodle said, I nodded and headed for the door before I looked back at him. I thought about helping him another time but he would help me back, and I don’t want that. I face forward and open the door, I then begin to head towards Golden Oaks Library, hopefully, Cranky Doodle gets reunited with his beloved.

When I got inside Golden Oaks Library I then sighed, today had been a long day, though I had just woken up and met up with Cranky Doodle, it was exerting for me. I had not had much Social interaction in hundreds of years, only talking to clients and on occasion, targets. I then walked towards my mattress on a bed in the closet and jumped onto it. I then sighed in pleasure as I rubbed my face against the bed. “Ah… There is nothing like laying in bed after a long day of social interaction…” As I closed my eyes I paused.

“I feel a disturbance in the Schwartz…” My eyes opened wide and I jumped from my bed, I kicked down my door and walked out. Spike looked at me with a confused look in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked me, I simply glanced at him, he was unnerved by this. “Is there something wrong? Does your bed have bugs in them?”

“No, I feel a disturbance, like when I encountered Dillan.” I walked past Spike, Spike just blinked, trying to remember who Dillan is.

“Oh right, that guy who can shapeshift into anything! Dillan, you fought him, is someone in trouble?” Spike asked me as I headed out the door, I put my hand on the doorknob and I shook my head.

“Hm, I guess you could say that, but not in any fatal danger that may cost them their life.” I walked out of the library and headed towards where I felt the danger, Spike followed me as I made my way downtown. I then stopped and saw a house, Pinkie Pie was outside. “Oh.”

“Oh, what?” Spike asked, standing beside me, I then hid behind a tree, Spike began to sweat and hid behind the tree with me. “What’s going on? Is there a monster, are you being followed, or is another hitman there wanting to kill you?!”

“Spike you’re overreacting, just stay behind me,” I said to the drake, Spike nodded and kept silent.

“Cranky? It's me again. I understand that you don't wanna be my friend or accept my apology... Before I leave you alone forever, I have something to at least try to make up for ruining your book.” Pinkie Pie said, looking at the door.

“No, I don't want it, kid! Anything you would give me is sure to lead to some sort of disaster!” Cranky said, from inside his home.

“Goodness, you really are cranky.” I averted my gaze from the house and looked over to a female Donkey, Spike looked at the female Donkey too.

“That’s Matilda,” Spike said in a whisper, I looked back at him, I didn’t know that there were Donkeys in a town like this.

I hear the sound of metal hitting wood, Cranky then opens the door. “It can't be... Is it really you?” Cranky asked, looking at Matilda, I then smirked and turned around, I began to walk away.

“Where are you going? Aren’t you going to watch?” Spike asked me, I didn’t bother to face him as I kept strutting on.

“I don’t need to watch to see what will happen next, Cranky will finally live a peaceful life with Matilda. Come on Spike, it’s rude to watch.” Spike then followed me, running up to my side and we both walked to the sunset back to Ponyville. “Now, let’s get you in that school shall we?”

Author's Note

Sorry for the hold-up, I've been focussing on Against All Odds.

Chapter 8: A Flower Among a Field.

I open my eyes as the sun lets itself in the window. I had been sleeping in the closet for a while, actually, since I got here. I should really get a house, later, that is. I groaned as I got up from the bed, and on to the floor, popping my bones like they were bubble wrap. A note hit me on the back of the head, I turned around and it came from the window. I hear giggling.

“Celestia…” I growl as I open the letter, as I open it, the face of Celestia appears with a kazoo in her mouth. She then blares into my ear, demolishing any chance of me going back to sleep,

“Dear Hit

Goodmorning Hit, a new day is a new friend. You might be wondering what this message is for, I’m just assigning you a job. Get a pet. That’s right, obtain a companion that will stick with you through and through! Pets are the best friends of everypony, and this is another step towards your goal. Go and talk to Fluttershy, she has tons of pets! And sorry for the kazoo, I was too excited.

Love, your Princess of Equestria, Celestia.

P.S I can’t wait to see your pet, maybe we can do a play-date with my phoenix and whatever pet you may have.”

“Like hell.” I then crumple the paper and obliterate it with my Ki blast. “Though a pet doesn’t sound too bad.” I admitted, I walked out of the closet and into the main room. The smell of salad filled my nostrils. I walked over to the kitchen and saw Spike preparing dishes.

“Oh, good morning Hit, I’m making breakfast salad, do you want any?” Spike asked, I glanced at the drake and I shook my head.

“No, do you know where Fluttershy’s cottage is?” I asked Spike, glancing at the drake, Spike tilted his head.

“Uh, she’s just on the other side of town, why'd you ask?" Spike asked me, I crossed my arms, and sighed. Normally I would have not said anything but Spike is growing on me, he's a good kid.

"Princess Celestia has given me an assignment to get a pet." I told Spike, Spike's eyes opened wide.

"Oooohhh… Wait, for what?" Spike asked, I then got ready to walk out, I held my hand on the door knob and gave Spike one look.

"What else? Friendship." I spat, the word made me feel funny, I shuddered at the word and I walked out the door. When I walked out the door, Celestia's sun shone onto me, I looked up and it was smiling. She was mocking me, I hate her so much. As I walked down the streets I was given a plethora of greetings, I ignored their greetings and glared. But then I sensed something and looked to my right, there it was, a tree. In the tree was Celestia herself, covered in camo-gear with a spyglass, a book and quill, hiding in the tree bark with a hole the size of a basketball in it so that she could see out of it. It was a really nice tree- Wait, why am I talking about damn trees?! She was jotting down notes about me as well, stalker much?

She began to hum and I approached her, she then noticed that she was spotted. “Shit!” She said in a loud whisper and vanished from sight… But then I sensed that she was hiding under the peak hole. I turned towards her and crossed my arms and looked at Celestia. There was silence, and as ponies walked past me, they only saw me glaring at a tree. She then teleported out of it, now transformed into a Unicorn with pink hair and a white coat, wearing fancy clothes that were a mix of white and yellow. Much like what usual nobles wear, she smiled like she knew me, which she does.

"Salutations, "Never Miss" Hit, or is that just an ephit?" She asked, I still glared at her. "Well… Ahem, my name is Ce- I mean, Solar Flare, I'm a Lord, I own most of the south." Solar Flare introduced herself, I stared at her.

"Eu vou te dizer o que você boceta gorda." I began to speak in my native tongue. "Você é chato e meio que ferrou minha vida. Agora estou aqui cercado por pôneis empinados que são estúpidos. Sério, metade desses pôneis não sabe o que é um meteorito. Isso é o mais comum no espaço também, provavelmente porque só há uma escola aqui e é para crianças?" Everyone looked around me like I was speaking alien… Which I was to them at least.

"Uh… What are you saying?" Solar Flare said with a smile, sweat began to roll down her empty skull like a bowling ball. Twilight walked up to me, note and quill, I hadn't even noticed that she had arrived.

"What are you saying, Hit? Are you speaking your native tongue? An old language? Where are you from? And-" I then cut her off by putting my hand up in front of her.

“Deixe-me esclarecer, o que diabos é amizade? Como isso me ajuda de alguma forma? O que é realmente? Tenho sido um Hitman por mais de mil anos, eliminando ameaças do mundo. E você não pode me dizer que ela me arrastou para esta cidade esquecida por Deus só para me foder! TÃO DEUS COMO MINHA TESTEMUNHA, TEREI MINHA VINGANÇA!!!!" I said with pure wrath, I then raised my fist high and shook it at the sky and like that, Solar Flare/Celestia teleported away. "Bitch." I muttered under my breath before I put my hands in my pockets and continued walking to Fluttershy's Cottage.

Twilight ran up next to me, "Wow, what did you say to that mare? You seemed so… What's the word for it?" Twilight asked, I huffed and put my hands in my pockets, I walked with a quickened pace. "Hey! What's the matter?"

"It's none of your concern," I huffed out as I pushed forward, Twilight frowned before teleporting in front of me with her hand out. I stopped in my tracks.

"I will not stand this! I AM your friend, you are living under MY house, and I want to know what's going on with MY friend!" Twilight said, looking up at me, my eyes opened wide as I didn't expect her to… What was the word for it? To be defiant.

"If you want to know, fine, she didn't give me good money one time during a contract." Which wasn't entirely a lie, Celestia said it was a "Friend's Discount", what a jackass. "This was before I met you." I clarified as I spotted Fluttershy's cottage in the distance.

Twilight's eyes widened in surprise, clearly shocked that I. "Oh, well, uh… Can you work it out? I'm sure that she could-"

"Enough of this nonsense." I then stopped time, and she froze in place. I then proceed to walk to the cottage. And within a minute I was at Fluttershy's door. Tapping my foot, I continued time, as I heard Twilight calling my name I knocked on Fluttershy’s door.

“Wh-who is it?” Fluttershy squeaked out, I looked back at Twilight only to find her gone. I had evaded her, for now.

“It’s Hit.” I told her I heard an audible “eep”, I could hear her hiding behind her wings. “I come to get a pet and thought I should ask you first.” To my surprise, the door opens and Fluttershy peeks out, looking at me.

“You want a pet…?” Fluttershy asked, she then opened the door fully and I had to take a step back to prevent myself from getting hit.

“Yes, I…” I was about to say that I was assigned a mission by Princess Celestia to get one but ultimately decided against it. “...I just want a companion.”

Fluttershy smiled sweetly, “Come in, come in! I’m sure you would like some of the animals in here, they’re all really nice.” Fluttershy said, I walked in and immediately all of the animals were wary of me. “Listen up everypony, this is Hit, he is somepony- er, someone who just moved in. And he wants a companion, he’s been alone all this time, so it would be really kind of one of you guys to step up and give him some companionship.” Fluttershy said, the animals looked at each other and some went forward. Fluttershy motioned me to crouch down, so I did. In front of me was a little snake, a rat, a toad, and a boar.

I then fully sat down and looked at them, I awaited them. Waiting for them to come for me, to choose me. There’s one thing I learned from Pokemon, and it’s that the Pokemon - in this case animals - do the choosing of who they want to be with. None of them went forward and after a while Fluttershy was about to say something when the little snake came forth. It slithered towards me and I had to force myself to not smile, I stuck a finger out to it and it wrapped itself around my finger and went into my palm.

“Hm, I like this one, what is it’s name?” I asked Fluttershy, Fluttershy smiled as I pulled it up to Fluttershy.

“Her name is Tulip, she is the cutest and most curious little thing.” Tulip slinked over to Fluttershy’s hand. “When I found her she was lost, she was being teased by a bird, so I told it off and made them make up. Afterwards, Tulip was attached to me but she’s so adventurous. Always wanting to see the world, can you show her?” I looked at her quizzically.

“Show her what?” I asked her, she smiled.

“The world.”

I looked at Tulip who was in her cage, we were now in my room, I looked around to make sure no one was looking. I then look back to Tulip and I…

I smiled.

Author's Note

I'm sorry.

I am so, so, so very sorry.

I have been struggling with this chapter for the past few months, I wanted to put more but I didn't know what to say. I want my chapters to be 3k words, 2.5k minimum, but I couldn't pull it off. I desperately need a crossover. Anyone, any displaced, if you're out there, please, crossover with me.

Chapter 9: Down Stream.

I sat at my table with my hands folded over themselves, I was at the Ponyville Cafe or whatever the fuck you call it. Why to bother, I’m going to get out of here sooner or later. I looked at the suit that Rarity tailored for me. It was like a very cliche business suit with a red tie and a rose, much to be expected of a romantic like Rarity.

Something has been on my mind recently, how strong am I? The canon Hit from Dragon Ball Super toyed with Dyspo and kept up with Jiren, but since I am him… And I’ve been assassinating for one thousand years more than the actual Hit, would that make me stronger?

It’s basic logic, so I would be. However, I’ve never been able to release my full potential - if I have one - the only one who came close to matching my power was Sombra and he’s not here. Speaking of, I think he’ll appear after the Canterlot wedding if I presume. I hope that’s the case, truly.

Sombra is still a contract and though the contractor is long dead, I never, EVER leave a contract unfinished. Mark my words. Once he’s back, I’ll kill-

“Hit?”

I looked up at the pony who interrupted my rant; Cheerilee. I looked down at my glass of wine, it was briefly trembling. I let out a sigh and unfolded my hands.

“You took a while, Cheerilee.” I commented, Cheerilee smiled and sat down at her chair.

“Well, I was kind of nervous, I wanted to look my best for our… What do you call this?” Cheerilee asked me. I squinted my eyes, what was she trying to pull.

“A meeting.”

“Our meeting, yes, I wanted to look my best for our meeting.” Cheerilee chuckled and gestured to her dress, it was crimson colored with hints of purple to make it a bit dark. Looking down, she had matching colored heels to compliment her dress. I looked up and saw her bright shining eyes. God she was-

No.

I’m not gonna fall for this shit.

“So, how do I look, Hit?” Cheerilee asked with a smile, I crossed my legs under the table and my arms as well. Leaning back, I looked at her in her beautiful eyes.

“Like you’re trying too hard if you’re trying to seduce me, you’re going to have to try harder than that.” I frowned and every one of the ponies that sat at the adjacent tables spit out their drinks into the air like whales. They all turned to Cheerilee with nervous and concerned looks. But surprisingly, she was smiling.

“I apologize if I seem a little bit attractive, I just wanted for our one-on-one to start off with a nice bang. Speaking of, when you said ‘Saturday’?” Cheerilee asked me as I handed her my wine. “O-oh, it’s fine, I can get my own.”

“It was free, and besides, I don’t like wine anyway,” I said, this made Cheerilee’s eyebrows raise.

“Oh? What do you like, Hit, if you don’t mind me asking.” Cheerilee inquired, I looked up and thought about it.

“Hm, Abyssinian Rum tickles my fancy,” I suddenly blinked, how did she get me to say that? I never tell anyone my favorite dri-

“So you’ve been to the Abyssinian Kingdom, interesting, are there any places you like visiting? Sightseeing maybe?” Cheerilee asked me, I looked at her and began to think. Should I cut to the chase or should I engage in small talk?

“Cheerilee, has Spike talked to you about entering your classes?” Cheerilee’s eyes lit up and she smiled.

“Oh, yes he did. He was so brave about it too, he told me that you gave him confidence. Now, I talked with Twilight about it and she’s given him permission to enter my classes. It is going to be so unique having a different race among my students. Honestly, I’m excited.” Cheerilee said, I then sensed a waiter coming over to us.

“Excuse me, are you two ready to order?” We turned to face the waiter and I looked back at the menu. A few things piqued my interest and I turned back to the waiter.

“Could I have the Apple Sliced Salad?” Both I and Cheerilee said at the same time, we both paused and looked at each other.

“Two Apple Sliced Salad coming up,” The waiter then left us to our own devices. For a while, we just sat there together, we had nothing to really say to one another. I folded my fingers over each other and looked into her eyes, Cheerilee looked back.

“So, Cheerilee, how did you come into teaching?” I asked her, Cheerilee said nothing and continued to stare into my eyes. “Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee turned redder than she already was and snapped out of it, “O-oh, um, how did I get into teaching? Well, it’s…”

“Duck.”

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow, “Duck?”

“EVERYBODY GET DOWN!” I shouted, Cheerilee immediately went down as did the other customers. A blood-red air slash was sent heading my way behind Cheerilee’s head. I jumped over the air slash and landed on the table, there I got a clear view of the culprit. It was a male earth pony with cybernetic parts, it seemed like only his head was natural. I landed on the table and looked to glare down at him. The earth pony chuckled with his tanned brown fur, he rested his sword on his shoulder and looked to be a samurai based on his sheathe. Looking down on it, it had a trigger on it.

“Well, well, looks like the rumors were right.” The earth pony said as he looked up to me, “Despite your guard being down, ya still managed to dodge my slash.”

I got into a fighting stance and looked down at him, “What is your name, and who sent you?”

“My name is Jetstream, I’m a mercenary, like an assassin but less secretive. As for who sent me, you’re gonna have to try and guess.” Jetstream got into a fighting stance.

“How about this? I beat you within an inch of your life and then you tell me,” I planted my foot down on the table and placed my fist at my side.

“Okay,” Jetstream grinned, “Let’s dance!” a mask covered the bottom of his mouth as he lunged toward me. Moving quickly, I flipped over him and landed where he once stood. I aimed my palm at him, I fired off a blast from my hand and he turned around and blocked the attack. However, in doing so, he was taken off his feet and landed on the streets of Ponyville.

I moved after him and leaped into the air, on the ground, Jetstream had his finger on his sheathe and looked up at me. In his eyes was a glare and under his mask was a grin. I raised my foot at the heavens and let gravity take its course as I came crashing down towards Jetstream. When I came close he pulled the trigger and I coated my foot in a purple Ki aura as my foot met the blade. A huge shockwave erupted from the two forces colliding with one another, I kicked off his sword and landed a few feet away from her.

Jetstream ran at me and swiped the air with his sword, however, I canceled out the air slash with a Ki blast which made an explosion that blocked my vision of him. I focused and tried to pinpoint Jetstream’s Ki but I couldn’t find it. He was gone.

Unless…

Turning around I faced Jetstream with his sword overhead, looking to split me in two, I used my Time Skip and halted time. Coating my fist in Ki, I slammed it into Jetstream’s gut and twisted it. I then resumed time, Jetstream wheezed in pain and was sent back. He lost grip of his blade and was on the ground unarmed.

I marched towards Jetstream and grabbed him by his mane, “I told you what would happen, who sent you?” I glared into Jetstream’s eyes.

“And I said you’ll have to-” Before Jetstream could finish, I slammed my fist into his nose, breaking it. “You’ll-” I slammed my fist into his face again. “Y-” I continued to drive my fist into his face repeatedly. I then seized him by the neck and chokeslammed him onto the ground. I then walked over and sat on his abdomen.

“You need to work on your fitness,” I whispered lowly to Jetstream.

“W… What?” Jetstream asked.

“Fitness dick in your mouth.” I began to brutally beat the everloving fuck out of Jetstream, specifically his face. With each punch a tooth got knocked out, eventually I made him get a black eye and I had a fist cocked back to drive into Jetstream’s skull to kill him. “Last chance, who sent you?”

Jetstream grinned, “To hell with you.”

“Hm,” I mused, “Ironic.” I coated my fist in Ki and got ready to reduce Jetstream’s skull to mush but then…

“STOP IT!” Before the punch landed I stopped myself and looked over my shoulder, there I saw Twilight and her friends racing towards me.

“You better listen to them…” Jetstream laughed with a wheeze, to shut him up I knocked him out with a right hook and stood up to my feet.

Twilight glared up to me and marched, “Hit, do you have any idea what you’re doing?! You just attacked a man for no reason!” I put my hands in my pockets and looked back at Jetstream. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?!"

"Wait, wait!" I heard the voice of Cheerilee and I saw her run to my side in between me and Twilight. "Hit was defending me, this man came out of nowhere and attacked us. So, Hit fought to defend me, he even took the fight away from the Cafe to make sure nopony was hurt!"

Applejack crossed her arms and turned to peer into my eyes. "Is this true?"

I rolled my eyes at the situation, "Yes," with that Applejack stared into my eyes and I shared back. A pregnant pause followed.

"I-I believe him," Fluttershy murmured.

Rainbow Dash turned to look at her friend, "Are you serious? He's an assassin! A hitman! He can't be trusted!" Rainbow Dash said.

"A little trust can't hurt, darling." Rarity added, Rainbow Dash looked to everyone and they had all sided with me.

"Ugh, fine, you win this time, Hit. But if I hear you cause trouble, I'll kick your flank!" Rainbow Dash glared.

I glared back, "Just try it,"

Before it could escalate Twilight got in between us.

"Enough, you two. This has been a tiring day for us all and I'm sure he's exhausted from the fight." Twilight said, I huffed and turned around.

"I'm going to the library," I walked away from the ponies and went down the street before I felt a pair of eyes on me. I turned around to see Cheerilee. "Oh, and Cheerilee?"

Cheerilee tilted her head, "Yes?"

"If you ever need an assistant teacher, I'm here." I told her with a smidgen of a smile and left her with those words.

Author's Note

Sorry I've been gone for so long, I kinda lost motivation and interest but then a sudden surge to finish this story welled up inside the fires of my brain.

Next chapter, Hit meets more assassins.

Stay tuned...

Chapter 10: Meeting Old "Friends".

It was nighttime, and Princess Luna raised her moon high over all of Equestria. Twilight sat in her room by her desk, she had ink and quill caught in her magic. Thus, she began to write down her thoughts.

Dear Princess Celestia.

Hi, I’m currently writing this at 9 PM, I’ve come to report Hit’s journey so far. He has currently eight friends, those include me, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Cranky Doodle. But it doesn’t feel like he’s our friend, he’s been acting distant lately, more so than ever. Ever since that Jetstream guy attacked him he’s been super stressed. Wary, and he’s been a bit rude too. Just today, when Hit was going to the Everfree Forest, Spike asked him why he was going. And the bully told Spike to “buzz off”! The nerve of that guy!

This might be the hardest challenge you gave me, but I won’t fail you! I’ll get to the bottom of his anxiousness starting tomorrow - or today when you’re reading this.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight rolled the letter into a scroll and set it down on her desk, she turned around to see Spike resting on his bed. Sleeping peacefully. Twilight let out a soft smile.

“Spike, we’ll get the Hit we all know and love back in no time, I promise.” With that, she began to stretch and walk over to her bed, getting in and closing her eyes. With no idea what will happen to Hit.

Sombra was on the ground, he was beaten up with blood running down his mouth and nose. He glared up at me and snarled. I mirrored his expression and clenched a fist.

“Today is the day where you die, no more running Sombra!” I declared as I ignited my aura, a purple fiery Ki surrounded me and most importantly my fist. I cocked it back and glared down upon him.

Sombra’s horn lit up and he was surrounded in his dark magical aura, he clenched his fist as well. His fist swirled with dark energy, “I’ll never die, I’ll live forever! LONG LIVE KING SOMBRA! THIS IS YOUR END HIT!”

We both shot towards each other, our fists stretched out, and as they touched our powers collided against one another. We both glared at each other with venom in our eyes, our dual red eyes peering into one another. But then, suddenly Sombra’s eyes widened in fear.

“Hit, behind you, do you feel that?” Sombra said, I didn’t take my eyes off of him and glared down at him. But then I felt it too, we stopped our assault on each other and I looked back to see that the Crystal Heart was put into place. “The Crystal Heart, Hit! IT’LL DESTROY ME! WE WON’T BE ABLE TO FINISH OUR BATTLE!” Sombra shrieked.

My eyes widened, “No…”

The force field began to arise from it and shoot outwards towards us.

“NOOOOO!!!!” I stretched my arms out to try and stop it.

“NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

”Who… Art thou?”

I awoke from my nightmare and held my head, I began to breathe heavily and I trembled. ‘What the hell was that? I was in the Crystal Empire, but it disappeared, and I was fighting Sombra… But he…’ I look at my hands and I was still trembling. But from what?

Fear? Excitement? I’m not sure. I sat upright on my bed and took deep breaths. “I… I need to take a walk.” I pushed myself from my bed and put on my jacket and clothes. I opened the door and found myself in the main library, I sniffed the air and smelled nothing but the books. I somewhat missed smelling pancakes whenever I woke up but it’s night and I’m sure no one in this place is awake.

Moving quickly, I opened the door out of the library, and instead of Celestia’s warm and bright sun greeting me, it was the cold bliss of the moon. I took a deep breath and took in the cold air around me, I shut the door and continued to walk. During my walk, I headed to Saddle Lake where I can watch the water to clear my mind. When I arrived it was just as I imagined, dark water, unable to see in it. However the gleam of the moon let me see some of it, and with that, I sat down on my ass and began to watch in silence.

That was until a whistle pierced through it.

I suddenly shot to my feet and looked around, where did that whistle come from? The whistle was familiar. Like a scent that took you back to childhood memories, but I’ve seemed to have forgotten them.

The whistle came again.

I quickly turned to face the whistle, it came from the Everfree Forest, I narrowed my eyes and flew after it. Being careful to not ignite my aura as I did so, I followed the whistling and found myself at my ‘dojo’. I looked around, I saw the various logs and materials I’ve gathered from places beyond the Everfree so as to not disturb the wildlife. I saw the training dummies I’ve made four of them in total, I raised my guard and looked around. Adopting a fighting stance I tried to sense Ki.

But I couldn’t find any Ki, I thought about calling out but I ultimately decided against it.

I then heard the whistle.

I turned to face the whistle and saw an Abyssinian in a blue and black martial arts gi. Time slowed down for me and I saw their eyes, judging by them, it was a female Abyssinian. She held a balled-up fist and readied to throw a punch. I quickly crossed my arms and blocked the strike, making a loud smack from the force that emanated from it. I wasn’t pushed back and decided to push against the Abyssinian. It was dark but I could make out her fur, it was orange fur with some darker shades of orange stripes on her body. As we pushed against each other, she grinned and flicked her tail.

She jumped back and landed on her paws and lunged towards me, with her fists ready to pummel me. I clenched my fists and went into a defensive stance, as she threw a punch, I dodged out of the way and threw a punch of my own. She narrowly avoided the attack by tilting her head, our fists were stretched past each other. But then she opened her free palm and a Ki blast formed from it.

My eyes widened, only a select few people know Ki, and now that I thought of it, she looked somewhat familiar. With nowhere to go, I phased through the Ki blast and saw that it was barreling towards a tree. If the Ki blast connected, it would make a loud sound that would surely wake up everyone in Ponyville and the Everfree. I flew in front of the blast and held my hands outwards in front of me, I caught the Ki blast and condensed it into nothing, dispersing the blast.

“I didn’t know Abyssinians could live past three hundred years,” I said, looking at the Abyssinian in the eyes. She chuckled and loosened her stance. “So, Roxxane, tell me your secret.”

The Abyssinian laughed and placed a hand on her hip, smirking at me. “That would be my many greats grandmother. My name is Tigress; I heard you're a big deal, one of the biggest assassins in the business! I want to see if I’m able to kill you, the ultimate test for an assassin, to assassinate the infamous Never-Miss-Hit!” Tigress adopted a fighting stance and glowed in a bright blue aura that shone through the darkness.

“So, someone really does want me dead, huh?” I mused as I looked around to see if any of the Everfree animals have been alerted by the brightness. But then, I felt something coming towards me, it was small, I could feel the air around it… A bullet. I quickly avoided the bullet and huffed. “A bullet? You must underestimate me if you think a-” I then felt the bullet pierce the back of my leg. I opened my eyes wide and fell to one knee.

“HAH!” TIgress shot forward with a fist out and tried to punch me, I phased right through her and made her go through me. She halted herself from going further and shot a Ki blast, moving quickly, I turned around and went to my feet as the Ki blast closed in. I then leaned back and slammed my boot into the Ki blast and sent it far away into the sky, above the clouds where it could be seen or heard.

I felt another bullet coming my way and I dodged it, but then I felt it coming back. I spun around and caught the bullet with my fingers and crushed it. “So, the bullet tracks you, is that it?” I asked as I turned to face the one who shot at me.

I heard a chuckle and out came a stallion with red fur and long black hair which is tied back. He has red eyes though his right is made of gold with a crosshair mark on it. He wore a mercenary outfit and had a gangster mask over his nose that hid his mouth. He also had a hat that hid some of his features. He had many bullets across his chest and leggings, his clothes were brown like the dirt, even his boots. He had long sleeves and long pants and gave me the vibes of Texas Red.

“You’re partially right, but mainly, it’s my golden eye. They don’t call me Golden Bullet, the Golden Eye Hunter for nothing.” Golden Bullet said pointing to his eye, “I have an ability called Marksman, it means if you’re locked onto by my golden eye, my bullets will always hit’cha.”

I looked down at my bleeding leg, then back at him. “So, if I destroy the bullet, they won’t hit me, huh?” I asked, I saw Golden Bullet nod and I looked between him and Tigress. “How much are they paying you two to fight me?”

“40 mill, but we’re splitting it up between the four of us,” Tigress smirked and my eyes widened.

“The four of-” In the corner of my eye, I saw a unicorn with a light grey coat, black messy mane, and dark blue eyes. He wears a Brown Trench Coat with a tattered suit underneath, black fingerless gloves, and black boots. He had his fist clenched in Ki and magic, he then slammed his fist into my rib, and I was sent spiraling towards the trees. Thinking quickly, I flew forwards and barely managed to not hit a tree. I sighed and looked at the unicorn. “And you are?” I asked with an annoyed expression.

The unicorn smiled and pointed a thumb at himself, “My name is Black Lash, I’m an ex-Royal Guard, and I’m also the one you saved, remember?” Black Lash said, I raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Allow me to refresh your memory, six years ago I ran across a couple of really tough guys, and I was getting my ass kicked. But then I saw a glimpse of you, you took them out and collected their heads faster than I could blink! But I saw you, you’re without a doubt the same person I met that day. And now, I’m here to see how strong you are.” He grinned and adopted a fighting stance.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, “Really? That’s your reasoning? I expect more from an assassin.”

Black Lash chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head, “I like fighting strong guys, what’s so wrong with that?” Tigress then went beside him.

“And I want to be the one who beats you.” Tigress said, “To pay you back for what you did to my ancestor. After you beat her in a fight, she quit being an assassin, but I won’t lose to you, no matter the cost!”

Golden Bullet took his place next to the duo, “And I’m gonna be the one who kills you, picking up your head is gonna be nice.” He grinned as he took out his pistol, cocking it.

I stared at the trio and narrowed my eyes, I glanced at Golden Bullet; he wouldn’t be too hard to take out given that he only has that Marksman ability. I feel like one well place punch would kill him. I looked at the other two; Black Lash and Tigress, they seem close in strength, I wonder if they know of the Fusion technique? Though that might be bad for me, it’d be a lot easier than taking the two of them on at once.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Tigress asked me.

“What?” I inquired, tightening my stance.

“Two’s a couple, three’s a party, and four…” Tigress smirked, “Is your doom.”

My eyes widened and I felt rumbling across the ground, I looked down and the earth erupted from the earth I saw the fourth assassin. A twenty-foot-tall behemoth of an Earth Dragon in sunglasses and a tuxedo, resembling Cobra Bubbles from Lilo and Stitch. However, he's also got a Dovakiin helmet on, giving him ram horns. The Earth Dragon had wings, which was a rare sight and on his shoulder was a boom box. I saw the Earth Dragon cock its fist back and slam it into me, the attack was slow, but I couldn’t avoid it. I had blocked the punch and on impact, my arms went numb and I was sent to the sky.

As I was in the air, I quickly steadied myself as Lash and Tigress flew after me with their fists out. I went into a defensive stance as they began their onslaught of punches and kicks toward me. I was pushed back as I did my best to defend myself until I felt a bullet pierce the back of my leg again. I cursed in pain and looked behind me, I saw Golden Bullet on the back of the Earth Dragon, my eyes opened wide as I couldn’t defend myself against him. And with me being distracted, Lash and TIgress slammed their fists into my gut. I wheezed in pain and spewed out a glob of spit before the Earth Dragon gave me a right hook that sent me spiraling across Equestria.

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, preparing for the worst, and with a scream, I crashed.

Spike opened his eyes.

“Hit?”

I felt rocks dig into my back and I slowly opened my eyes with a moan of pain. I saw the night sky and the many stars above, especially the bright moon that shone over me. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw multiple rock formations; Badlands, I was in the Badlands. I clenched my teeth and sat up to hold my head. It was the first time in forever that I had blacked out from a punch like that. I had to be wary of that dragon. I then felt something wet on my head and I looked down at the hand that held my head, peering down at it, I saw blood.

I was bleeding.

“So even the invincible Hit can bleed,” Golden Bullet mused, looking down at me, as I looked up at him, I saw that he had rocket boots on. Next to him were the other three.

“All mortals do,” said the Earth Dragon, “Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Brock of the Dragon Lands. I’ve come to kill you for no other reason than money.”

I slowly went to my feet and glanced up at Brock, “Well at least someone has the assassin spirit,” I looked at everyone else. “You could learn a thing or two from him.”

Tigress glared, “Shut up! We brought you here so that you could go all out and not worry about those damn ponies!”

“I thought so, but I don’t think that’s the truth. You guys know of the Elements of Harmony and their wielders, you must have been scared to make a scene there, because you guys suspect that Princess Celestia might fight against you.” I concluded, Lash smirked.

“Right on the money, I guess you really do never miss, huh?” Lash dropped himself down to me and looked back at his fellow assassins. “Yo, can I get a few minutes of fighting him on my own? I want to see how strong he actually is.”

Before Tigress spoke up, Brock intervened, “You get ten minutes, that’s it.”

Lash grinned and nodded at Brock thankfully, “Thanks, now then-” before he could finish, I lunged forward and punched him in the jaw, sending him back. I ignited my aura and followed after him, as he was sent flying, I flew above him and put my hands in a triangle formation.

“KIKOHO!” I shouted, Lash’s eyes widened as I blasted him with Ki. The result made a triangular crater, and I shot one more blast from the crater. “DODON RAY!” I shot a yellow beam from my fingertip and the crater glowed yellow briefly as it let out an explosion. I glared down at the crater.

Rule One of an assassin; never let down your guard.

“Phew!” I turned to face the voice and I saw Lash standing - or in this case hovering - before me. “You nearly got me, luckily I teleported fast enough to dodge it. Now then,” he cracked his knuckles and smirked at me. “Let’s get this started.”

For a moment I just hovered there in surprise before I glared at him, “I’ll show you that fighting me one on one will be your demise.” I clenched my fists and flew towards him, as he charged to meet me, I stopped time. I looked at him during my stopped time and reared my fist back to gut punch him, but then…

Lash teleported out of the way. My eyes widened, as the only people who could resist my time stop had to be stronger than me. I sensed his energy, there was no way! Unless he had activated an immunity spell. I turned to my left to meet Lash’s foot, fortunately, I blocked the attack with my right forearm. I continued time and frowned at Lash.

“An immunity spell, huh? Typically, they only last for thirty minutes.” I mused as I shoved him back, Lash caught himself and darted towards me.

“Yeah, I activated the spell on all of us when you were sent flying here,” Lash said as he sent a punch towards me, I tilted my head to the side and dodged the attack. There I punched him in his gut and he wheezed in pain. I then activated a Ki blast from my fist which was buried in Lash’s body, firing it, I sent Lash spiraling away. I followed him and my fists ignited in purple Ki.

“And you believe thirty minutes is enough to take me out?” I asked as I sent a barrage of punches his way, Lash raised his arms and began to block the attacks. “Do you?!” I punched Lash one more time and he teleported out of the way.

“Oh, it’s more than enough!” He shouted from far away, turning behind me I was met with a Ki rope. The rope forged out of Ki wrapped around my chest, the Ki rope tightened and I clenched my teeth in pain. However, the pain was just a smidgen of the agony that was to come. Lash pulled on the Ki rope and I, as a result, was pulled as well. There was nothing I could do but yell as Lash slammed his fist into my right cheek.

I growled in pain and grabbed onto Lash’s hand, his eyes brightened in surprise. He couldn’t go from me, and I couldn’t go from him. We began to punch each other repeatedly in the face. Though my punches damaged him, I was also taking damage. As he sent another punch my way, I phased through the attack and went through his body. There, I was behind him with my hands raised overhead. I clenched my fists together and brought my fists down like a sledgehammer, driving them into Lash’s skull as I sent him down into the soil of the planet.

I crouched down mid-air and shot towards him, Lash was on the ground, his eyes closed and groaning. I reared my fist back and prepared to stop his heart with my punch, but I was unfortunately stopped by a certain feline. Tigress zoomed in front of me and dropkicked me in the ribs, sending me crashing through the rocks and boulders of the Badlands before I stopped at a plateau.

I clenched my teeth in pain and looked on as I saw a multitude of bullets heading my way, I glared at the shots and used Kiai to destroy them. I looked to try and spot Golden Bullet and saw him hovering next to Brock. I went to my feet and looked back at where Tigress and Lash were. I saw that a dustcloud had formed and was clearing up, when it cleared I saw Tigress and Lash bickering.

“I had him right where I wanted him!” Lash said, clenching his fist angrily.

“You were going to die!” Tigress yelled in response.

“No, I wasn’t!” Lash protested

“Yes, you were!” Tigress shot back, “And besides, isn’t that enough to see how strong he is? He was schooling you!”

Lash opened his mouth to try and come up with a comeback but had nothing. He huffed and crossed his arms, “I guess you’re right.” He admitted.

Brock then descended behind them with Golden Bullet next to him. “Alright then, let’s go.”

Spike was pacing back and forth in the bedroom, sweat rolling down his face. He had woken Twilight up to tell her what he was feeling. Twilight had some coffee in her magic and saw how nervous Spike was.

Twilight looked down at Spike confused, “What do you mean Hit is in danger? He’s Hit!”

“I know he’s strong but something’s happening! I swear!” Spike said.

Twilight sighed, “If it’s so bad I’ll wake Hit up,”

Spike let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Twi.”

Brock slammed his head into my arms, I had tried to block as I did before but the effect was the same but somehow even worse. I felt something in my arms break as I was sent back to the night sky, chasing after me was Tigress who punched my gut and sent me to the ground. There, waiting for me, was Black Lash who wrapped me around in a Ki lasso and spun me around.

I yelped as he did so and he was laughing, “So long, Hit!” Lash then threw me away, as I tried to break free from my bonds I felt various bullets hit my back. Normally, bullets don’t hurt me, but these ones were laced in some sort of magic. They pierced my back and fortunately, they didn’t hit anything vital. I turned myself around to see where I was being thrown at, and to my surprise, it was a giant plateau.

“Oh shit.”

“HIT’S GONE?!” Rarity yelled at the top of her lungs, Twilight had gathered all of her friends and summoned them to be in her library, they were all currently panicking and worrying over the missing assassin.

“Wh-what happened?” Applejack asked.

“I don’t know! I opened Hit’s bedroom door and he was gone!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Is he alright?” Fluttershy asked.

“I’m not sure, but Spike says that he’s in trouble,” Twilight said, they all turned to look at Spike who was pacing back and forth. “I’ve never seen him this worried before…”

Rainbow Dash flew up to Spike. “How much trouble is he in?”

Spike was shaking, “B-big.”

I looked above me and saw Brock with his fist cocked back, there was no way I could avoid it or block it, so I stared in horror.

“How big?” Pinkie Pie bounced, “Super big? Really super big? Really really really super big?”

Spike looked at Pinkie Pie with tears in his eyes, “Massively big.”

I yelled in agony as a bullet pierced my knee cap, I went to hold it but then Tigress and Lash slammed their boots into my gut, sending me high above the ground. As I fell, my head faced the earth and I was suddenly grabbed by Brock.

Instead of agony, I yelled in absolute unadulterated terror as Brock slammed me head first into the earth.

“We need to tell Princess Celestia!” Rarity said, “It’s so bad that it’s making Spikey-Wikey cry!”

Twilight hummed, “Celestia is currently sleeping, I’m not sure if we can notify her.”

Applejack turned to Twi, “What about Princess Luna?”

I shakily went to my feet and looked up above me, I saw that Brock was coming down upon me with his fists out ready to crush my bones. Summoning my strength, my fingertips were set ablaze in Ki, I pointed up at him and uttered these words.

“DODON RAY!” I cried out as I sent the twin Dodon Rays his way, the blasts clashed against his mud-colored scales, however, it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t stopping him! I shouted and two bulges appeared from my back, my purple aura spiked and I yelled as power erupted from me. Two extra arms sprouted from me and I fired the extra two Dodon Rays up at Brock. There, it had actually held him back a bit and I slowly pushed him.

“You forgetting someone?” Golden Bullet asked.

I gasped as I saw a multitude of bullets coming towards my way, I can’t use Kiai because it would make the energy that I was shooting at Brock lessen.

“And us too!” I glanced to my sides, and coming from my right and left were Tigress and Lash with their fists cocked back and ready to drive into me. With all of this distraction, Brock came down on me, digging into my shoulders and breaking my bones. At the same time, I was shot with a variety of bullets and my ribs were slammed into my Tigress and Lash.

Celestia woke up from her sleep, sweat rolling down her face.

“Hit?”

I stood there in a smoldering crater, my head faced downwards and my vision was blurry. I let out a groan before I went to my knees and face-planted against the ground.

Author's Note

If you don't know what technique Hit used, it is the Four Witches Technique, used by Tien Shinhan and used exclusively for the three-eyed warriors. However, Hit somehow replicated the technique and used it as his own.

I also want to thank my friends Lady Umbra, Shirtmechanic, and JNKing for giving me Golden Bullet, Black Lash, and Brock and add them to the story.

Hit seems to be in a tight spot, will he survive the encounter? Or is all lost? Find out in the next exciting episode of Equestria's Hitman!

Chapter 11: Pulling the Trigger.

My vision blurred, my ears ringing . I could make out a couple of voices as I lay there in the ash-covered crater. I felt the blood from my nose seep out of it and soak in the ground. My eyes were half open.

I’m tired. I want to sleep so badly. I slowly closed my eyes and prepared to drift into unconsciousness.

“Hey, wake up!” I felt a boot slam into my back and I seethed in pain, I recognized the voice as Golden Bullet and he kicked me over, pointing a pistol down at my head. Next to him were Black Lash, Tigress, and Brock standing behind them.

I looked at all of them, staring into their eyes; who sent them? I know many people want me dead but I can’t narrow it down. A noble? A drug lord? Or was it just a wanted poster that brought them here? Jetstream came after me specifically, he knew where I was, and not many people know where I am. Unless…

My eyes widened in realization, “Gunner sent you guys, didn’t he?” I coughed out, looking up at them.

“It took you that long to figure it out?” Tigress asked, glaring down at me.

“Well to be fair, we were beating him up, so that might hinder his thoughts,” Brock commented, swaying his tail side to side idly.

“Not that it’s gonna change anything if you know or not, you’re dying here.” Golden Bullet put his finger on the trigger and looked into my eyes.

“Wait…” I managed out as I caught my breath, “They… Gunner was… Gunner was going to tear down the Everfree Forest. To strip it of its resources and poach the animals there, there is a small town that lives next to the forest… Ponyville. I fought to prevent chaos from wreaking and the deaths of many. Know this, if Gunner enters the Everfree Forest and tears it down… It would spell doom to every stallion, mare, colt, filly, and foal in the town as well as the captivity of some endangered species…” I explained to them, “So, kill me, but promise that you’ll stop him… P-please…”

They all looked down at me with unreadable looks in their eyes. Golden Bullet still had his hand on the trigger and stared into my eyes. He sighed and put his finger off of it. “Well damn, I didn’t know that we were the bad ones.”

“Hm, if Gunner truly wants to strip the Everfree Forest of its resources then we must stop him.” Brock crossed his arms and took a step back from me as Lash stretched out a hand.

“Sorry for all of that, Hit.” I took his hand and he pulled me to his feet, “I now realize that behind all of that cold exterior is a kindhearted man inside.” Lash patted my shoulder, he then noticed that my jacket had several holes and tears in them so he lit his horn. I was surrounded by his magic, a dark blue and a pink color intertwined with each other. The holes and tears repaired themselves and I stood with my clothes healed. The same couldn’t be said about my injuries.

“Alright, we’ll spare you. At least I know that we can whoop your ass if you get out of line,” Tigress said, before turning to Brock. “Yo, where is Bullet Bill’s hideout? I want a word with him.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Bullet Bill?”

“Yes, Bullet Bill,” Brock nodded, “He is the father of Gunner, he owns one of the largest armory and weaponry industries in the world. He is a powerful man, and as for his location, I know where he is.”

“Alright, then take us there!” Tigress said, however, Golden Bullet raised a hand.

“Shouldn’t we heal Hit first? Assuming he comes with us, it might be troublesome for him to fight alongside us.” Golden Bullet said.

“Oh, that’s right!” Lash realized, “Sorry Hit, I guess you have to stay home.”

Vrooooom

Tigress raised an eyebrow, “What’s that noise?”

From above came a truck before it transformed into none other than Optimus. He raised his sword hand overhead and came down upon Brock. Brock, however, caught the sword between his palms.

“Go, Hit! I shall hold them off so that you may make your escape!” Optimus said, however, I interjected.

“No, Optimus! We’re allies now, we’ve realized that we’re not supposed to be fighting each other, but greed.” I said, Optimus looked back at me before he was shoved back by Brock.

Optimus stumbled back and looked at everyone then me, “I see,” he then kneeled down, “Alright, companions, would you fill me in on the situation?”

We filled him up on the situation and Optimus nodded, “I see,” he then turned to face me, “Hit, you are in no condition to fight. However, you gave me one of these beans in case of emergency.” Optimus’ chest opened up and he reached inside and pulled out a small green bean. My eyes widened as he kneeled down to me with the bean in his palm.

“What is a damn bean gonna do?” Tigress had her hands on her hips and tilted her head.

“I’ll show you,” I took the Senzu Bean and popped it into my mouth, it tasted like grape juice medicine but I powered through it and swallowed. All my wounds were immediately healed and I clenched my fists and ignited my aura. “That’s a Senzu Bean, it heals wounds quick.” I then turned to face everyone and put my hands inside my pockets.

“Where’s our target?”

Celestia paced back and forth, worried she had felt something was wrong. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what should I do? Should I go check on Hit?” She looked outside her window and out to the night sky, “Ooh… I don’t know! If I go check on Hit there might be a chance that everything is alright and I’ll look like a jackass. But if it’s actually what I think…”

Celestia captured a pillow with her magic and held it up to her face before screaming into it.

I was in the driver’s seat of Optimus - I wasn’t driving him, however - next to me were Black Lash, Tigress, and Golden Bullet. And in the back out in the open air was Brock, giving Optimus directions.

“So… No hard feelings about almost killing you?” Lash stuck out a hand to me. I glanced at his hand disgustedly, but reluctantly, I took it.

“I’m only shaking your hand because you healed my jacket,” I huffed and stared out of the window, we were currently passing by a multitude of rocks and trees.

“Y’know,” Lash mused, “I’ve always wanted to meet you. You have such a pristine background, you appeared out of nowhere and became a Legendary Assassin overnight!”

“Not true,” Tigress interrupted, she gave me a side-eye, “Hit enrolled into an Assassin Guild and trained under a Zebra called Meadow, there, he met my many great ancestor Roxxane. The two became training partners, and maybe even friends, but… Something happened. Didn’t it, Hit? What changed?”

I didn’t give her an answer, instead I kept looking out the window.

“Damn, he ignored ya,” Golden Bullet was currently loading his guns with a cigarette in his mouth, “Personally, I wouldn’t let that slide.

Tigress turned over to Golden Bullet with a glare, “Shut up, Goldilocks.”

Golden Bullet spun his pistols in his hands before gripping them tight, “Ya wanna repeat that?” he glared over at Tigress. Lash was in the middle of the chaos and looked left to right.

“Uh, could we not?” A bead of sweat rolled down Lash’s head.

“Yes, I would prefer if you ‘could not,’” Optimus spoke through the speakers, surprising all of us. My eyes went wide and I looked at the rest of my fellow assassins who held the same expression as me.

“Uh… Ahem, how long do we have until we arrive?” I asked the Autobot.

“We’re here.” I heard Brock’s voice boom, I raised my eyebrow and looked out the window. I saw a couple of ponies in black suits, standing in front of them in a black coated earth pony stallion. I narrowed my eyes and activated my timeskip, I simply opened the door then shut it behind me. I walked towards the one I assumed was Bullet Bill, in my frozen time I could just punch him, stop his heart and it would be over.

Although…

I sighed, taking two steps back and continued time. Almost instantly did Bullet Bill take out a gun, pointing it at my head.

“How the hell did you-” Bullet Bill stammered out before he huffed in amusement, “Huh, interestin’... No wonder why you never failed a contract, you could have killed me.”

“Yes, I could have.” I droned as I heard the doors open from Optimus, I heard the footsteps of my comrades as they joined me and took my side.

“You never told us that you were trying to ruin the Everfree Forest,” Brock glared down at Bill, he scoffed.

“I didn’t think I needed to, I pay you to do your damn job. It doesn’t matter what I’m paying you for, you do it.” Bill snarled, causing Brock to tense up with calm rage.

“Watch. Your. Tone. Boy.” Bullet put a hand on Brock’s shoulder.

“It ain’t worth it, it ain’t.” Bullet looked at Bill in his eyes, “Now, Bill, you understand that there are ponies, innocent ponies who live next to the forest?”

Bill mock gasped, “Oh dear me! I never knew that!” His face switched into one of annoyance, “Of course ah fuckin’ knew that you idiot!”

“You knew that there were innocent people there that could die because of your greed?” I repeated.

“Yeah, and I don’t give a damn, people die every day! What’s a couple thousand? Heck, might be hundreds, it’s a small ass town, so small that no one would care if they all d-”

He didn’t have a chance to finish as my fist was buried in his chest. His guards all raised their weapons, a growl from Brock made them halt. I pulled Bullet Bill close so I could whisper into his ear, “Hear me before you die, Bill. If your son goes near Ponyville or the Everfree Forest, I will kill him, then his mother, then your entire fucking family tree. Tell him that, he should be here before you bleed out.”

I ripped my fist out of his chest and watched him fall to his back. I ignited my fist in Ki, melting the blood off my fist. I scoffed and turned away from Bill and the assassins, my eyes narrowed as I walked towards Optimus.

God, it was good to be back.

Author's Note

Sorry folks this was such a short chapter but, better a chapter than no chapter, huh?

Chapter 12: Pumping Iron.

It had been a few weeks since the altercation Hit had with the assassins. After putting an end to Bullet Bill’s reign, the assassins split off. Tigress went back over to Abyssinia, Black Lash went off in the mountains to train, Golden Bullet went to Appleloosa, and Brock… Is nowhere to be found. He doesn’t know where he went. Which is good for him.

He scares him.

After the events of the night, Hit went back to Ponyville and explained what had actually happened; which was nothing. He said that he went on a midnight flight and in reality Spike had a very bad dream. Somehow, he managed to gaslight all of them despite there being seven against one. It took an hour or so before they concluded that the young drake was in fact dreaming.

With this all set behind him, a week later, Hit set out on a break from everything, with Twilight’s permission of course. After the events that happened she wasn’t too fond of him wandering off and for good reason, a reason that Hit agrees with. In the Everfree Forest, Hit sat on a stump with crossed arms and legs at the sight he was building his dojo. This stump was nothing too major to the forest and was already falling apart, so he deemed it worthy to cut down.

His eyes were closed, his ears were alert, and not a sound escaped his lips except the few breaths of air he would take to focus. His mind was clear of thoughts and he felt the world around him, he felt the wind, he felt the sun, he was one with nature and nature was one with him. However, he sprung up from the trunk and outstretched a fist, jabbing the air with a lightning fast attack before planting his foot in front of him and twisting his hips to perform a head kick. He backed away briefly and parried an unseen shot and fired his right knuckle and unleashed a right straight. He followed up the attack by stepping inwards with his left foot, planting it down before he flicked his heels to give more power to his left hook.

With the left hook impacting the air, he pulled his fist back to his chin and punched the air with his right hand again. With that punch, he performed a slip and pivoted to face his target. Switching stances he started a pendulum swing, getting closer and closer to them, and when he was in range, he exploded with a volley of fists. Hooks, haymakers, uppercuts! All punches he was throwing with concentrated aggression. Not only were his fists flying, but his feet and body were moving as well, he was performing slips, pivots, and shuffles.

When the explosivity of his fists died out, he switched to a different stance, his hands down and his feet bouncing a little. He shot forwards and delivered an overhand right, and for seconds followed the attack up with a left uppercut. Then, he stepped back and twisted his hips to unleash a kick to the face, body and shin and planted his feet back down to lunge forward and elbow his target. After the lunge, skidded himself to a halt and performed a 360 hook kick to the face again and kept spinning and kicking over and over again until a final kick landed onto the solar plexus.

Ducking down, he swept their leg and as the fell fed them a boot to the mouth and pounced onto them, doing body work, he grappled them and started waiting on them. Burying his fists into his target before grabbing their collar and throwing them into the air where he jumped up and with a Ki-enhanced fist, delivered a final blow that finished his target. Not so long after his fist destroyed his enemy, gravity took effect and fell down, and stuck the landing flawlessly, crouching down on one knee.

Hit let out a sigh and opened his eyes to see his target’s body, only to see no one was there. He took in another inhale and pushed himself back to his feet. He dusted off any grass or dirt on his clothes and continued to catch his breath as he glanced around his training sight. There wasn’t a sign of the target anywhere.

“Were you fighting an invisible foe?” Hit didn’t bother to gaze at the being who spoke to him, judging by their voice, he knew exactly who they were.

“No, that was image training.” He explained as he turned to face the looming figure above him; Optimus Prime. “It’s a form of training that has you imagine you fighting a foe in order to exert the same amount of effort you would if you fought a real person.” He put his hands in his pockets.

Optimus put a metallic finger to his chin and nodded slowly, “I see, you organics never cease to amaze me in ways you can get stronger,” He mused, “Although, I have a question, Tim.”

“Depending on the question, I have an answer,” The Assassin responded, gazing up to meet Optimus’ blue optics.

“Why are you training? Are you not strong enough already?” He inquired, as the question was asked, Hit slowly nodded his head as if knowing he would have asked that.

“There’s something I’ve realized, a week ago when I got attacked by the assassins,” Hit began and turned away from Optimus, “I’ve gotten soft. I believe it started a while ago when I decided to go for more tame assassinations for quick and easy money. I believed myself to be the strongest on the planet, nobody could match me, or at least I thought I was until I was jumped.” He took a hand out of his pockets to stare at his palm, “I have to get stronger. What if I hadn’t turned them around? What if they had killed me? That would mean that all these centuries of living on this planet was for naught. I was older, more experienced, and yet they managed to beat me.” He clenched his fist, “I say no more, I’m getting stronger to defend myself and reclaim my spot as the strongest being on the planet. I acknowledge that there are foes that are equal to my own power or are miles ahead of me. Making this dojo is to close that gap.” Not bothering to turn around, his eyes drifted over to Optimus, “Do you understand?”

Optimus crouched down on one knee to look Hit in his eyes, “I understand, Tim.”

“Thank you.”

Gunner marched down the halls of the Bullet Incorporation, his gaze darted from room to room as if he was looking for something. He wasn’t alone, however, as two Griffons were walking behind him. Both appear to be female wearing suits and ties, at his side like bodyguards. As Gunner searched, his gaze eventually landed on one particular door and he lunged to open it but one of his guards put a claw in front of him before he could do so.

“Let us open it, the door could be rigged with a bomb,” With a grumble, Gunner stepped back and allowed the Griffon duo to open the door for him and allow him inside. Upon entering the room, Gunner found what looked like a mix between an engineering field and a scientific lab mashed into one. When he first entered the room, his eyes fell upon a young Earth-Pony mare with a tan coat and dark crimson for hair. Her eyes were a warm red and in front of them were round glasses. She held a notepad and was writing something down on it as she stood in front of a mechanical biped.

“Scarlet,” Gunner called and in response, the pony turned her head towards him and offered him a sympathetic look.

“Gunner… I…” Before she could finish, Gunnar marched over to her, ignoring everyone else in the room; seemingly having tunnel vision.

“Can ya make a robot that could avenge mah father?” He said, cutting to the chase immediately. In response, Scarlet blinked at the strangeness and peculiarities of the question.

She tilted her head to the side, “What?”

“Aah sayd: ‘can ya make a robot that could avenge mah father’?” He repeated, using his hands to emphasize his words. “Beh-cuz as ya heard, ow-wah Everfree Forest operation was destroyed by that purple dick head! We even sent assassins after him, but they didn’t do anythin' 'n ended up joinin' his side! it’s very clear that those of flesh 'n bone aren’t capable of defeatin' this menace to mah fathers… no, to mah business. We need somethin' bigger, somethin' stronger.” He paced around Scarlet.

“Gunner, I know you’re upset that your father died and you were humiliated by that ‘purple dick head’ as you call him, but these robots of mine,” She gestured to all around her and Gunner's eyes darted from place to place. He saw various ponies working alongside robots to fix things, other ponies making robots, as well as other things. “They take time to make, and I don’t have enough data on the ‘purple dick head’ to even create something that could take them down. Who even is this being that you’re talking about?”

“He’s Hit!” Gunner exclaimed, “He’s ‘Never-Miss’ Hit!” Suddenly, all the living creatures in the room stopped to look at Gunner, and Scarlet who was in front of him dropped her pen in shock.

“...Hit? Hit killed your father? Well, why didn’t he kill you?” She asked, Gunner gritted his teeth.

“That’s besides the point!” He waved his arms aside and handed her a thumb drive, “He-yah, there’s some footage aah found from one of the recordin' lenses that the black suits wear. While ya work own that, how about we compromise, huh?”

Scarlet raised a brow and slowly nodded her head, “Go on, I’m listening.”

“Ya can send any robot after Hit to collect data to create a robot that could kill him, 'n aah will make up fo-wah the robots lost with mah inheritance. Understood?” Gunner said, starting to breathe heavily. Scarlet’s eyes widened.

“Wow, that’s… A hefty amount of bits,” Scarlet tilted her head again as she noticed Gunner’s heavy breathing, “Are you alright?”

“NAW!” He yelled, “'n aah won’t be alright until hit’s head is pinnedON MY GODDAMN WALL!” The mare flinched back at the volume and intensity of his voice, “Please, Scarlet, do meh this solid, I’m beggin' ya.” He quickly clutched Scarlet’s hand with his two, “Aah will give ya anythin' ya want, bits? Materials? Heck, even test subjects, aah don’t care! as long as ya can create a robot that could, no, no, no, can. That can kill Hit, understood?”

Scarlet glanced at him and then down at the thumb drive, “Well… I guess I could take a look at the thumb drive and see what I could do…” A burst of joy spread across Gunner’s face as he wrapped her in a tight embrace.

“Thank ya, scarlet! thank ya so damn much, i’m so happy right now aah could Just… Just…Ugh!” He released her and put the thumb drive in her hand, “Take a look, take a look! When ya make any progress what-so-ever, even if it’s somethin' minor, tell meh immediately, aah want to know everythin'.”0

Scarlet offered a polite smile and nodded her head, “Of course, Gunner, and about those payment methods…”

“I’ll have mah accountant see through it,” Gunner sharply turned around and began to march back out of the door, “Notify meh if anythin' happens!” He exclaimed before he left the room with his two guards.

“I will!” Scarlet called back out, a soft smile on her lips as she did. She tossed her notepad over on her desk and walked over towards her computer, and after signing in, she put the thumb drive in and took out another notepad to mark down anything of interest. Gunner was right, there was footage of it, and the footage played as follows.

A giant motorized vehicle came rolling into view, blue with fire accents, it looked like a weird part of the front of a train. The windows in front were pitch black, so she couldn’t see what was inside. And then, in an instant, a man wearing a coat with a vulgar looking head appeared right in front of Bullet; it really was him. ‘Never-Miss’ Hit.

Already, Scarlet was writing up a storm on her notepad so fast that the paper started smoking. All the while her eyes sparkled with intrigue.

Chapter 2: Three Little Fillies.

It was early in the morning and I was dragged out of bed by Rainbow Dash herself, she wanted me to watch her do a cool trick. Rainbow Dash claims to be the fastest in Equestria but I highly doubt it given that I can use Ki and fly. I stood there next to Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. We had known each other but barely, we look on as Rainbow Dash did some aerial maneuvers. As I watch Rainbow Dash do her thing I talk to Twilight.

"So, is Rainbow Dash always so... Cocky?" I asked Twilight, she sighed and turned to me, "Because it seems like an everyday occurrence."

"Well... Yes, she's always like this. She claims to be the fastest in all of Equestria which I highly doubt, I mean there are Dragons, Griffons..." As Twilight trailed on I heard a crash, I looked down and I see Rainbow Dash... Injured.

"Oh..."

We were now at the Hospital, in room twenty-two there lies Rainbow Dash, I examined the area. The room was pretty standard, with a window next to the bed, a flower in a pot next to the window. Rainbow Dash groaned.

"Darn it, I can't take Scoots to School today, I promised her too! Are any of you girls free to take Scootaloo?" Rainbow Dash looked around at us, I crossed my arms and leaned on the wall, like a cool guy.

"No darling, I have a project that I need to work on for a very important client, I'm so very sorry Rainbow Dash," Rarity told Rainbow Dash with a shake of her head, Pinkie Pie was the first to perk up next.

"Sorry Dashie, I can't go either! I have work to do at Sugarcube Corner, plus I have to feed Gummy every now and then." Pinkie Pie told the cyan mare, Rainbow Dash was about to say something but Applejack cut in.

"Ah can't either Rainbow Dash, ah have work to do on the farm." Applejack scratched the back of her head, Fluttershy cuts in next, quite bravely I might add.

"W-well, um, I can't go either b-because I have animals at my cottage I need to tend to," Fluttershy explained to the Pegasi, Twilight went in next.

"I can't walk her to school either, I have to sort the books again because Spike thought it was a good idea to make a book fort." Twilight chuckled nervously, Rainbow Dash looked among us.

"If you guys can't, then who will?" All eyes turn to me, I then looked at the mares.

The things I do for children...

As I walked down to the schoolhouse that held all of the fillies and colts that wanted to learn there, with me was a young Pegasi. She had been asking me a conjunction of questions since I picked her up.

"Why is your head shaped like that?" Scootaloo tilted her head, I glanced at her.

"Why do you have wings?" I asked her, Scootaloo had a confused look in her eyes.

"Because I was born like that," Scootaloo said flatly, I then avert my eyes from her.

"There's your answer," I told her, Scootaloo frowned.

"Huh? Well, why are your purple?" Scootaloo asked me, I roll my eyes.

"Why are you orange?" I inquired, Scootaloo had that confused look on her from earlier.

"Because I was born that way," Scootaloo responded, I held her back and I stopped in my tracks as two ponies hefted a couch.

"There's your answer," I told her as we continued to walk.

"Hrm... Is being a Hitman fun?" Scootaloo asked me, this actually made me surprised, I looked down at her with intrigue.

"Sometimes," I said with a mental smirk.

"What do you mean sometimes?" Scootaloo asked me, a sudden breeze pushed past us. I closed my eyes with a sigh.

"It depends on the target, if they are strong then it's fun because they're a challenge, if they're weak it's not as fun," I informed her as we walked by an old lady feeding pigeons.

"What is it like to kill?" Okay, now this one shocked me, my eyes widened a little before I looked down at her.

"For a Hitman, a soldier, and a law enforcer it's a job well done. Like you have completed an assignment, but if they do not deserve to be killed and their death could be avoided, it can mess with your head." I told her, Scootaloo nodded as she understood.

"In what ways?" Scootaloo asked me, I looked down at her.

"Well, it can cause you to have PTSD sometimes..." I looked to Scootaloo, grimacing, "I'll tell you what PTSD means when you're older."

"I know what PTSD means! It means... Postal Terror Shock Detention." Scootaloo struggled the words out of her mouth, I shook my head.

"That's wrong," I told Scootaloo, glancing at her as well.

"Well can you tell me what it means?" Scootaloo asked me, I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I just told you I'll tell you when you're older." I reminded her, Scootaloo then pouts.

"Hm... Are you strong?" Scootaloo asked me, I rolled my eyes.

"Yes," I told her blankly, Scootaloo just grinned.

"I doubt you're stronger than Rainbow Dash, she is a master of Ka-rah-tay. She's so strong she can knock down more apples from trees than Applejack!" Scootaloo boasted, I just got Spongebob flashbacks and remembered that one Spongebob episode with karate. Good times...

"Hmph, can she break a boulder?" I asked the young mare, Scootaloo looked at me dumbfounded.

"C-can she what?" Scootaloo stammered, I look at her in amusement.

"Break a boulder," I repeated myself, Scootaloo cleared her throat.

"Well uh... She hasn't tried but I bet she could!" Scootaloo chirped, I avert my gaze from her.

"Good grief..." I shook my head as we closed in on the schoolhouse, we were at the front door, I peeked inside, and apparently, we were late. I knock on the door, the door opens and it was a mare with dark red fur and light pink hair. She looked up at me then she noticed Scootaloo.

"Oh, there's Scootaloo, my name is Cheerilee! Thank you for bringing her here, Mr..." Cheerilee just trailed off as she looked at me in my eyes.

"My name is Hit, ma'am," I told her, Cheerilee smiled.

"Well thank you Mr. Hit, are you from around here?" Cheerilee then leans on the door, I see some movement behind her, some students trying to look at me.

"No, I travel place to place." I glanced at one of the students in the back, they saw me look at them and hide behind something.

"A traveler! Well, would you like to be a guest at our school? I'm sure they would love to know about places beyond Equestria!" Cheerilee flashed me a smile, I looked at Scootaloo who had puppy eyes. I groan.

The things I do for children... I pinch the bridge of my nose, "Alright," Cheerilee's ears perked up, Cheerilee then stepped aside. I then walk inside the room, Scootaloo followed after me. I looked among the students of Ponyville's schoolhouse, a few caught my eye. Two rich kids with most likely pompous attitudes, two ponies who looked similar to Applejack and Rarity, and a scrawny kid. Scootaloo ran to the two carbon copies of Rarity and Applejack.

"Scoots, who's that?" Whispered the copy of Rarity, Scootaloo looked back to me before leaning close to her.

"He's a Hitman and he's so... cool!" Scootaloo said in a whisper, the pony who looked like Applejack gazed at me.

"A Hitman? That's cool..." The copy of Applejack spoke, I mentally scream, why did I tell the young pony I am an assassin er... Hitman. Same difference.

"Well, Mister, would you like to tell the class your name and profession?" Cheerilee asked, I walked to the center of the class, my hands behind my back.

"My name is Hit, and I am a Hitman." When I said that the students then whisper among themselves, I turn to Cheerilee who wore a face of shock.

"A Hitman? What is he doing here?!"

"He probably on a mission,"

I hear some voices speak out, Cheerilee clears her throat. Giving me a glance before speaking.

"Okay... I got Hit here to talk about the places beyond Equestria, because he is a Hitman you must have gone to places beyond Equestria... R-Right?" Cheerilee asked me, I glance at her.

"Of course I have, what kind of Hitman would I be if I didn't go to countries other than this country? Now, let's talk about... The Abyssinian Kingdom, the Kingdom is a place full of felines." I told the class as I turn around, I then heard a voice.

"Ew, cats, gross, they're just walking flea machines."

I swiftly turn around, the class was quiet, I squinted my eyes. "Alright, the Abyssinian there are rather nice, they're proficient at combat, not to mention they're very clean. Any fleas are immediately dispatched, their senses are so sharp they can feel anything that touches their body in an instant." I informed the group before I walked down the rows to locate the trash talker.

"Doesn't help that they cough up fur balls, disgusting..."

I turned to the voice yet I couldn't locate it, the students that I looked towards were all looking at me. I then walk towards the board, "They're agile and fast, their claws are sharper than any blade. Their senses are twice as sharp, their hearing is so good that they could hear a leaf fall to the ground for miles. Their kind is the toughest to kill, due to their agility and senses."

"You must not be a very good Hitman, are you? They're just animals."

I ignored that comment, suddenly the voice of Scootaloo butted in.

"Oh hush Diamond Tiara, you probably can't kill an ant." Scootaloo shot at Tiara.

"Well I can get a Cutiemark," Tiara snapped back, Cheerilee was about to but in but I stopped her.

"Now that's just goin' too dang far!" The Applejack copy spoke.

"Pfft, I doubt you three even could get a Cutiemark, if you could, it would be the Cutiemark of failing! Oh wait, you would've gotten the Cutiemark, given that you girls always fail." I swiftly turn around and shot a small Ki blast from my fingertip, the Ki blast shot past Diamond Tiara and took off a single strand of hair before impacting the wall behind her. The force made a crack in the wooden wall, Diamond Tiara went wide-eyed as she pissed herself. I would be grinning right now but I want to look badass.

"This attack is very useful when beating an Abyssinian, if you are faster than one, which is unlikely, or you caught them off guard, which is more likely, you can take one down," I informed them, everyone looks at me in surprise. I lean towards Cheerilee, "I'll fix that for you later."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, not after you just taught someone a lesson." Cheerilee smiled, I nodded, "Now, clean that up, Diamond Tiara."

I walk out of the schoolhouse, the school day had ended and behind me were the self-proclaimed Cutiemark Crusaders. The two "clones" were actually named Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. They've been talking to me ever since school ended... Which was five minutes ago.

"We just want to thank you, really, really, really, really, REAALLLY much. You really showed Diamond Tiara what for!" Scootaloo said, bouncing around me.

"I know, you've told me that for the past five minutes," I told Scootaloo, Applebloom perked up.

"We'll do ANYTHING to repay our debit!" Applebloom told me, though it was the wrong word.

"It's actually called debt." Sweetie corrected, Applebloom rolled her eyes.

"I know what I said, wait, we could be... Hitman Helpers, Cutiemark Crusaders!" Applebloom said, the girls gasped in realization, you know what's funny? The acronym for HHCC is Home Health Care Classification, though when I get out of this mess I highly think that I'll go to the hospital. Good thing I have insurance... I think.

"Good grief..." I sighed, I walked to the Marketplace to get some oranges for Twilight because she wanted to experiment on them. As I approached the Marketplace I noted that the crusaders were behind me, marching like foot soldiers singing. The only good singer was Sweetie Belle, when I arrived I searched for the tent where they sell fruit. With my keen eyes I spot it in a few seconds, there was a puddle before me, I was going to step over it but Applebloom laid her body down before me. Scoffing at her antics I stepped over her, Applebloom jumped to her feet.

"I am the best helper, I helped him step over the puddle." Applebloom boasted, Sweetie Belle frowned.

"Did not!" Sweetie Belle told Applebloom, Applebloom frowned at the Unicorn.

"Did too!" Applebloom then butt heads with the Unicorn, they continue to argue but Scootaloo was with me. I approached the tent and the seller looked up at me.

"What brings you here stranger?" The Merchant asked me, I was about to speak but unfortunately, Scootaloo spoke for me.

"Hit wants some of your ripest oranges," Scootaloo said for me, I blinked, was she serious? The seller looked at me in confusion.

"Are you mute?" The merchant asked me, I opened my mouth to speak and yet again the Pegasi spoke for me.

"No, he is not, he is quite capable 'cause he's a Hitman," Scootaloo said with some sort of snarky attitude, the seller yelped and hid under his desk.

"Take it all! Just don't hurt me please!" The seller whimpered, Scootaloo turned me with a sly smirk.

"Your welcome." Scootaloo walked past me, I just stood there, how was I supposed to respond to that? What in the actual heavens was that attitude?! I slowly get a bag and get some oranges, glancing at the shivering and whimpering merchant as I did so. I turn around and I see Scootaloo and the others grinning at me. I got what I needed, I slowly turn to Golden Oaks Library. As I walked by there was a convenient wagon, I was suddenly pushed into the wagon by the crusaders.

"Don't worry, we'll push you there to rest your legs after a long day!" They all cry out, they then begin to push me and they pushed me fast. It was bumpy and I looked at the crusaders, fear in my eyes.

"Ladies, I know you want to repay me but isn't there a more reasonable way you can help me?!" I cried out, though they couldn't hear me.

"WHAT!?!?!?" They shouted out, I covered my ears, they were louder than any Saiyan powering up. And that's saying something! As we went by we began to pick up speed, it was then I realized that there was a steep slope ahead.

"SWEET KAMI HAVE MERCY!!!!" I shouted out, the crusaders then trip and the wagon continues, making me go down faster than I've ever gone before.

"HIT!!!" They all cried out, I went down like a meteorite as I did, my life flashed before my eyes. A few ponies who were moving a ramp then stop as they were tired. I let out a horrified yell as I flew up the ramp and I was flying, all eyes were on me as ponies all around looked up at me in shock. Their dumbfounded faces then turn to faces of grimace, as I hit a tree. My head was then stuck in the tree and my body stuck out like an arrow. I was straight as a wooden plank. The crusaders caught up to me and winced.

"Sorry..."

Author's Note

Just for context, Hit is Darth Maul, the Crusaders are Palpatine.