The Amazing Adventures of Spike

by BruceGoneLoose

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Violence, Death
Length: 1009

Spike goes on some amazing adventures.

Spike goes a long way from home and experiences some amazing things.

Published 2021-04-12 21:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-12 21:10:00 UTC

Spike Meets The Beatles

Spike was continuing his journey one day when he happened upon The Beatles.

"Eh, what's this little guy doing" John instantly said.

"I think that's a dragon," Ringo replied in his typical calm tone.

"Do I know you guys?" Spike inquired.

Spike genuinely could not think of the men in front of him, though he thought they looked familiar.

"You don't know us? My name is Paul McCartney. This here is John, Ringo, and George. Together, we form a band called The Beatles."

Spike had a sudden realization.

"Oh, you mean the guys who took on the Third Reich, and personally shot Hitler?" Spike promptly replied.

"Eh? What in the fuck is this little dragon talking about, Ringo?" George was terribly confused.

"No idea." Ringo shared his sentiment.

Spike now realized who the men in front of them were. He was familiar with their music, but more so familiar with the deeds they accomplished in their personal lives.

"Do you need any help, little fellow?" John said in a helpful tone.

"I'm not going to take that from a wife beater." Simultaneously, Spike walked up to John and punched him in the groin.

"What the fuck are you twats doing? Get the little bastard you dumb fucks!" John said with his British tone, in agony.

Spike stood there non-nonchalantly.

BUT THEN

Just when they weren't looking, Spike took out an AK-47. He was used to these kind of situations, you see. Whenever he stumbled upon a puppy or someone who hadn't been paying their taxes, he executed them without a second thought. Wherever he trot, he was known as the merciless executioner. However, he was firm in his will and beliefs.

"You guys made great music, it's unfortunate you were massive pieces of shit. Ringo, you were a drunk who no one cared about. Paul, I'm pretty sure you are responsible for the creation of Al Qaeda as well as World War I. John, yours sins are insurmountable, so I'll be torturing you. George, I would complain about you too but no one can see what you do over your giant fucking nose." Spike said without emotion.

And then, without a second thought, executed Paul, Ringo, and George. He wanted to play with John a little bit, so he let him live for a little while. He plucked off his skin, pissed in his mouth, and forcibly choked him off and on for about an hour. Once he had finished, he was satisfied.

"Well, I suppose that's that. Better clean up so I don't bother anypony."

Spike piled and burned the remains of the once popular musicians. He buried the ashes under a willow tree, for which he shit upon afterwords. With the punishment of our lord and savior done, Spike can rest easy knowing he did a job well done. Spike said a prayer, and went on his way.

Thus, Spike continued on his tireless journey, not knowing what he may encounter. All he knows is that he is happy.

Spike Encounters Athiests

Spike was continuing his journey one day when he happened upon some atheists.

Well, at least he didn't immediately realize they were atheists.

"Good day, fellow men of our lord and savior Celestia Christ. " Spike said in a cheerful tone. His day had been going very well. After successfully vanquishing four pitiful human beings, his day could not get much better.

"Good day, my friend. Though we are not men of your lord Celestia-sama, we appreciate the words." They cheerfully replied back.

Unfortunately for them, that was the last thing Spike wanted to hear. Spike was a dragon of God, you see. He couldn't simply accept this. So he uttered something very quietly.

"May Celestia have mercy on your soul.."

"Uh, sorry.. what's that?" The first of the three men replied, confused.

"MAY CELESTIA HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL" He screamed.

Spike charged ahead and beheaded the first of the three men swiftly. Looking back at it, he probably should have approached them further before committing to their deaths, but not much could be done. Spike had a mission, and he would succeed.

"Wh-wh-what?" The other two men could not believe their eyes.

In an instant, Spike ran and tied up one of the men, who were still experiencing Shock. For the other, he believed he must prove a point.

"Those who are not a man of Celestia should heed my warning. The faithful decide the unfaithful's future, and the unfaithful will be punished."

Spike began cutting off the man's toes, one by one with his sharp dragon claws.

"aaAAHHH" The man scream relentlessly.

Honestly, this was a bother for Spike. Typically, he would just execute his opponent, and be done with it. But when it came to religion and his lord Celestia, he could not compromise. Lessons must be taught.

The surrounding civilians all looked away, used to Spike's actions. They feared him, but at the same time did not look at him in disgust. He was only doing his job.

Spike, having been finished with the man's toes, began with his fingers, but grew tired of the mans shouts, so he slit his tongue as well. The man gave up his struggle. He knew he had not much time left. However, this angered Spike. If he was not faithful, he could at least believe in something else: his friends, family, or lover. Spike stomped on the mans head, and he grew unconscious.

Spike did not want to bore himself with further humiliating the man, so he also slit his throat after his long struggle of endurance.

The other man was simply still, and could not say a word.

"Now do you see the importance of Celestia? The importance of GOD?" Spike rose his voice as he sentence grew near.

"I-I-I.. understand. Please spare me." The man bowed.

Spike nodded as he considered the situation a great success, and then mercifully executed the man. This was but another interesting adventure for Spike, and he continued on proud.