Expectations of Reality

Sunset Shimmer dropped her bag in the front of the Wondercolt's mirror. It was late at night. Around ten o'clock. Sunset didn't care that the office lights in the school were on. Sunset didn't really care about anything at that moment. As she crossed town on the bus she kept wondering what the point of her living was. She was hoping. A small part of her hoped that she would be reminded why she needed to live. Of why her life was so important.

But no answers came.

When she felt like this, she would usually go to cutting herself. But even in those times, there was a little hope left for her. Now. Now, she was tired. She was tired of constantly having flashbacks to her old life that left her longing for a family. She was tired of crying herself to sleep. She was tired after only three days of fighting with that fucking demon in her nightmares.

Sunset pressed her hand against the cold marble where the portal would usually open up for only three days every two years. She had her chance to go back. She had a chance to make amends with the Princess.

She was a coward.

She shivered as the cold air ran through her leather jacket. She clenched it tighter around her body to no avail. The cold wouldn't matter to her in a few minutes anyway. Why should she even try? She sat down on the ground, pulling out a leather book with her cutiemark symbol stitched onto the front.

She opened the book, not bothering to read over the pages of text exchanged between two ponies who once had a strong relationship the dissolved into mistrust and lies. When Sunset was a filly, she remembered Princess Celestia telling her she had potential but never expanded on it. Sunset silently always wondered why the Princess lied to her. She didn't have potential. Like every living creature on this planet, she was marked for death. So what was the point in trying to change the world if she wasn't going to be around to see it?

Sunset grabbed a black pen and pressed it against the page as unresolved anger at herself and the Princess flowed through her.

"When I was a filly, you told me I had potential.

Why did you lie to me?

-Sunset Shimmer."

Sunset stared at her words as big wet tears rolled down her face. When she woke up this morning she didn't think today would be her last day to live. But...It wasn't like she was taking any action to stop it. She sat in the cold for a good five minutes. She didn't expect the Princess to write back. Hell, she didn't even know if the book still worked because she wasn't in Equestria anymore.

That didn't stop her from wanting an answer.

Yet wanting and needing are two different things. Sunset knew that once she died, it wouldn't matter. Why did she-

She gasped when her journal page lit up. She cautiously watched as a response was given back.

"My dear Sunset Shimmer.

I never lied to you. You were the most powerful unicorn I had known at the time. You were destined to do great things. You still are. I am sorry for how things ended between us. Twilight Sparkle told me what happened with you and the element of Harmony. I can not help but feel I am to blame for your downfall. I am so sorry, Sunset.

-Princess Celestia"

Sunset shook her head and grabbed her pen once again.

"It doesn't matter if you are sorry or not. It's too late for me or you to make amends.

-Sunset Shimmer."

Sunset grabbed the glass shard she had in her jacket. It cut her hand as she pulled it out by she didn't mind. She didn't mind one bit. She glanced down at the writing that began to appear once more.

"Sunset, there is always time to make amends. It's never too late."

Sunset let out a dry chuckle and used her free hand to write her final response.

"One can't make amends if they are dead, Princess."

The writing she got back was written in messy frantic hoofwriting. Celestia must have gotten the pieces together.

"Stop, please!"

Princess Celestia couldn't order her around anymore. Tears fell onto the journal as Sunset raised her chin to expose her neck. She pressed it against her throat, preparing for the sweet embrace of darkness. Where she couldn't hurt anypony anymore-

"Sunset! STOP!" A female voice yelled. Two pairs of running footsteps reached her position within moments.

---End of Chapter Ten---