Chrysalis smiles at me from the other sofa. "Celestia has style, I'll give her that," she laughs.

"Don't. Please, don't," I say.

"You have to confront the situation at some point, you know."

"I have, and I also have a plan to get revenge. I'll send Equestria into chaos and she'll never know-"

POP!

"Did somepony say chaos?" asks Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, one of the only known draconequusses in the world and the most annoying little piece of scum.

"Here we go again," I groan.

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing much, only that Celestia tried to kill us this morning."

"Ooh! Tell me all the juicy gossip, why don't you?" He sits on the sofa next to Chrysalis, who folds her ears back, gives him a deadpan stare and tries to shuffle away from him.

"She sent us a cursed piece of jewellery. The strange thing is, I had a dream last night where I was fighting Celestia, and I dreamt that she was wearing it. Wishbone said it was probably due to genetics and my dark magic, but to be honest I'm too annoyed to even think about how that works."

"I can tell." He teleports across the room and sits next to me. "But there's no need to worry. You have a plan, right?"

I give him a false, sweet smile. "Actually, I do. Step one: restrict the use of your magic again. Unless, of course, you're willing to be quiet and listen to me for a moment?"

He crosses his arms, but doesn't say anything.

"Step two: write a newspaper article, submit it and see what happens."

"Any ideas? Any particular subject?"

I sigh in defeat, "No."

"Well, what good is that? You live in the Crystal Empire and have recently been crowned its queen, if the odd bits of news I keep hearing are correct. Write about that. Celestia's taken her jokes a step too far today, and you're furious. Write about that. You're in love with Sombra, the King of Shadows, somepony whom most ponies believe to be a tyrant, but apparently you know better than all of them and know who he really is. Write about that." He snaps his talons and I am showered in rose petals of every hue and shade imaginable, in the wide spectrum of colours that would fill the Crystal Empire if it wasn't for myself and Sombra. "You are the Daughter of the Night, the only child of Princess Luna, the Queen of the Stars. Write about that. Pour your heart out onto the pages." A sheet of paper appears, completely covered in doodles of love hearts and me and Sombra kissing. Oh my Celestia, Discord really knows how to push my buttons. Sombra, have mercy.

What is it? he asks through the use of a telepathy spell.

Discord's escaped, and I'm losing my mind.

I'm on my way.

"Discord," I say slowly. "I've already told you that I'm in a bad mood, and I've told you why. Are you asking me to send you to Tartarus, or are you just not smart enough to take the hint?"

"You tell me," he grins. "Tartarus sounds fun, actually. Lots of creatures to entertain there. A crowd that might actually like a little entertainment and give me a few thanks. Far better than what you've done so far."

My jaw drops due to a mixture of shock and fury. "Seriously? You want me to say thank you for driving me up the wall more than Celestia?!"

"Why, yes indeedy. I could have taken you straight to her. The teleportation ward wasn't that hard for me to pick through." A locksmith's toolkit appears next to him on the sofa. "I could have taken you straight to Canterlot Castle's throne room and made everything a lot easier for her. But I didn't."

"We had a deal," I growl.

"It's true, it's true, I'll give that to you. Oh, that rhymes. What fun! But I'll admit, I've spotted a few teensy little flaws in your plan."

Begrudgingly, I ask, "What?"

"Oh, nothing too much. I just couldn't help but realise that if for some reason the editors of the newspaper decide to send this to Princess Sunbutt rather than publish what you have written, things might not go the way you want them to. Your plan for sending Equestria into a state of glorious pure chaos will be derailed. Oh, and this is likely to happen whether your little story is published or not," he snaps his talons and a black top hat appears on his head. He speaks in a posh Canterlot accent for a moment. "But don't you think Princess Sunbutt might be a little annoyed by your attempt to spark civil unrest among her ponies, O Glorious Queen of the Stars?"

"Oh my Celestia, why in Equestria are you getting involved and telling me what I can and can't do?!"

"Discord," says Chrysalis, "leave her alone now. You have had your fun." Finally, somepony has some sense around here.

"Ooh, Bug Queen's telling me what to do. What else should I do? Kneel on the floor and pray to you, O Great Queen of Cheap Knockoff Ponies?"

She leans across the coffee table and raises a hoof in preparation to slap him across the face.

"Is that all? No magic rainbow lasers? Oh, wrong pony. I mistook you for Twilight Sparkle."

Chrysalis quite literally goes blue in the face. "You little son of a-"

Sombra walks into the room and says casually, "Good to see you again, Discord. Guards, could you please escort him back to his cell?"

"I don't think so," Discord answers, grinning. "I have a little pegasus mare to speak to."

"Then go. But before you do, let me warn you: one word about the Crystal Empire, and we'll be there in Ponyville to turn you to stone faster than you can say Celestia."

"Celestia Celestia Celestia Celestia Celestia Celstia Celstioh, you caught me out. Fine, then. I won't say a word." There's another loud POP and he finally disappears.

"Finally," I huff. "Just rub it in my face, then."

"He's unacceptable," Chrysalis agrees. "But unfortunately he speaks sense on occasion. He is right about the way that Celestia might act, and also, you can't just say that you're going to write a newspaper article and then stare at a blank piece of paper for hours on end not writing anything."

"I don't care about what Celestia thinks. I'm doing this whether she likes it or not. But where do I even start?" I hold my head in my hooves.

Sombra takes a seat next to me and tells me, "Start with yourself, the pony in the centre of all this. Reach out to the ponies you have met, the places you have visited. Most of all, and I think Chrysalis can agree with me here, think of your emotions. How you feel now, how you felt when certain things happened. You are writing a story about yourself, so make sure you own the stage."

"Start with myself, reach out to other ponies and places, own the stage." The memory of when Sombra and I took the Crystal Empire returns. How I stood on the dais, at the very centre of the Crystal Empire, and used that dark magic spell. How it spread through the streets of the Crystal Empire, touching every pony and every thing and changing it in some way. That wasn't for a good reason. That was for a selfish reason, for me, for Sombra. Now I've got to change that. Now I've got to try and show ponies that I'm not a monster, that I'm not evil, that I've changed and Sombra has too.

I dip my quill into the ink pot on the desk. Hello, everypony, I write. My name is Moonlight.

I spend about half an hour scribbling down whatever comes to mind and occasionally joining in with Chrysalis and Sombra's conversation. We talk about raising more support for a larger army, battle tactics, ways to get under Celestia's skin, places where spies could be sent to, and the best ways to earn support from the ponies of Equestria. Chrysalis is very interested in who that bat pony stallion who wrote to us might be, and a thought occurs to me.

"Could he be a changeling?" I ask.

She scrunches her muzzle. "If he is, he's not one of my children," she says shortly.

"Are you sure?"

"If he is one from my hive, his name will be Thorax, and he is Pharynx's twin brother. But he is an outcast. After our defeat at the hooves of Cadance and Shining Armour, he fled the hive and never returned. I tried to find him, but he didn't want to be found. When I did finally discover where he was hiding and sent Pharynx there, he made it clear he didn't want to be a part of the hive any longer."

"Luna probably did the same for me," I sigh. I stop writing for a moment and stare at the paper, not absorbing the words I've written. "I don't think I ever apologised properly to her."

"She's already forgiven you, Moonlight," Sombra tells me.

"Still, I never wanted to hurt ponies. But I've hurt her, and Wish, and the crystal ponies, and Thunder, and Discord, and plenty of others who I haven't even thought about until now. And the one pony I've hurt the most is Celestia, and now I'll never be able to say sorry to her."

"But she has hurt us just as much," he says, resting a hoof on my shoulder gently. "You are one of the Umbrum now. Your magic is fuelled by your feelings. So show everypony how you feel."

I write a couple more paragraphs, then show the final piece to him. He spends a few moments reading it and smiles when he's finished. "A lot of emotion. Everypony is going to either love this or hate this, but either way you'll steal the spotlight."

He gives the slips of paper to Chrysalis, and she gives me a nod as she reaches the end. Passing me another piece of paper and an envelope in her magic, she says, "Pick a newspaper and write something to the editor, just so they know to publish this."

"Should I be a bit snappy here? Maybe write in Old Ponish just to wind everypony up?"

She shakes her head. "No. It'll ruin what you've just written."

"Dear Editor," I say as I write, "I would like you to publish the article attached in your newspaper as soon as possible. I'm not interested in money, I just want my story to be told to your readers exactly as I've told it. Oh, and whatever happens, make sure Celestia doesn't hear about this until the article's published, and if she gets annoyed with you I'll take the blame. I want this to be a surprise. Yours, Queen Moonlight of the Crystal Empire."

"Perfect," Sombra laughs. He takes the pieces of paper in his magic, tucks them neatly in an envelope and seals it with a blob of wax. On the other side of the envelope, he writes, For the Addressee Only - Editor of the Equestrian Times. He casts a spell, and the letter is carried out of the room in a blast of magical flame. "The Equrestrian Times and Canterlot Chronicle are going to have an absolute field day with that. I wonder whether they'll appreciate the hundreds of new readers they are going to earn overnight."

"If we're lucky."

He wraps a foreleg around me. "We don't need luck. I can guarantee that the article will be published. It is written in the stars, my love."

"You didn't place a spell on that letter, did you?"

"And why would I do such a thing?"

"If you could control the mind of the editor of a newspaper all the way in Canterlot, you could do anything."

"Mind control spells don't work over long distances."

"What about Wishbone, when Celestia used that spell on her?"

"She was still in Canterlot Castle in the physical world. The dream realm is different."

"And Chryssie's hypnosis?"

"I don't even know how that works." He glances at Chrysalis.

"No, it can't be used on a pony hundreds of miles away," she confirms.

"I rest my case," he says.

"Right." I roll my eyes, but lean in closer to him. His hoof runs through my mane a few times, and my wings flutter a little by my sides. "Now, what do we do?"

"We prepare for whatever nonsense Celestia is about to send our way. She is going to fight, and we have to make sure that we can fight harder. The first step is to write to Starlight."

"What should we say?"

"I'm going to write to her, and tell her to cause havoc in whatever small way she can."

"Considering she can steal cutie marks, I think your definition and her definition of 'small' might be a bit different."

He grins menacingly. "No, when it comes to Celestia, I'm sure we are just the same."

Author's Note

Headcanon: Those cheap nasty knockoff pony toys you see in the stores from time to time are actually unreformed changelings who have tried but completely failed to blend in.

Applejack's face gives it away.

Chryssie's not even trying.

GAH! That's horrifying! I rest my case.
~ Angel