What is a human? A friend? Or a foe?

by magmon1000

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Crossover, Dark, Human
Length: 3717

Well all know the story human goes, human goes to Equestria, makes friends with the mane six, something goes wrong he stops it, well no this is where the human is the enemy, or is he?, he's given 5 abilitys one of which is immortality, so IT'S GAME TIME!
A/N got the idea from "My Name Is monster

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-03 19:36:32 UTC

The Beginning

Hello jackasses, I mean people of FIMFiction, yes I’m still sore at you Comando and Ignorable, any ways just because I got the the inspiration FROM “My Name Is Monster” those not mean it is related in any form and the OC is well insane-ish, he’s the main character but he’s also the comedy relief there something ORIGINAL happy? Any ways here it is.

What is a human? A friend? Or a foe?

The Beginning

Luna and Celestia were walking down one of the many long hallways of Canterlot castle,

“So er sister is HE still here?” Luna asked Celestia with a hopeful smile, Celestias smile disappeared and turned to a frown,

“Yes he is still in the dungeon just be careful.” She answered, Luna nodded in gratitude and ran towards the dungeon as fast as her filly body would let her,

When she got there, after being let pass by the guards, she came across a very large cell with several markings on each bar, inside the cell there were several white lines she looked over to a corner to see a pair of shinning red eyes,

“Nice try, I stopped being scared by that ages ago.” Luna said with confidence,

“Damn it!” came a voice from the shadows, the red eyes disappeared and turned a bluish green, “ah my head, anyways good to see you again Luna, has it really been a thousand years?” the voice asked he had a very thick northern England accent,

“That’s about right, it is really good to be off the moon.” Luna replied stretching a bit,

“Ah yes, so the elements have new owners?” the voice asked,

“Correct, but they are no longer in the armour form you created.” She answered, there was a loud slap sound followed by a pained groan,

“For the love of God Celestia!!! I told you to leave them the way they were! But NO! You had to go fuck em up!” she said in anger,

“Perhaps I should get going then.” Said Luna, slowly shuffling away,

“Yeah good Ide- AH FUCK I BROKE A BLOOD VESSEL!” he said shouting the last bit,

24 AND A HALF EPISODES LATER

Discord was walking down a dungeon hall,

“Long time no see old friend.” Came the same voice as the one who was talking Luna,

“So you still remember me, master?” He asked, his voice full of hate,

“Aw come on Discord. Don’t be so hissy, I may have stopped ya but you still were my closest friend and to be fair, you still are.” The voice said calmly,

“True, I am more fun than Celestia and unlike her I don’t turn ponies to stone.” Discord replied smugly,

“And haven’t killed ten billion people in under five seconds, then again I’m about the only one who is strong enough to do so.” The voice said his tone of voice not changing at all,

“Well that may be true but come on.” Said Discord, motioning the voice to follow him,

“Sorry but you won’t be able to break that lock, I had to give Celestia some of my power so she could survive.” The voice replied, “And unlike you I don’t have a grudge on Celestia, besides I’ll be out of here soon enough.”

“Humph very well see you later.” Discord replied a little annoyed at the voice,

“No you won’t, the elements will beat you, I still have my physiological connection to the things, and I can say they’ll kick your ass!” The voice said full of confidence,

“Heh hardly, I’ve already corrupt them there elements are useless.” Discord said smugly, his smile disappeared when he heard the voice laugh before there was a loud thump noise,

“Ow my rib I think I hurt my rib, god that’s funny.” The voice said still laughing,

“I’ll see you later human.” Discord said warping out of there,

ANOTHER 24 AND A HALF EPISODES LATER

Chrysalis was sat on Princess Celestias laughing as she looked at the mane six who were all laying on the floor in pain,

“This is pathetic I thought you were the elements of harmony, your all weaklings!” she taunted them, Twilight tried to get back up but failed as she was in too much pain,

“Oh please stop your embarrassing your selves!” Chrysalis shouted trying to hold back a fit of laughter,

Before Twilight could reply the doors to the room suddenly went flying across the room, Twilight and Celestia hoped this was Luna with the elements but they were both wrong,

“FUCKING WEAK!” came a voice from the smoke, “Really I expected more of a challenge from bloody Changelings, but nope there all pathetically weak, I don’t need to use my SM’s, ah well so,” the voice stopped to let the smoke clear a bit “You this Chrysalis bitch?”

END OF CHAPTER

**Great way to finish the chapter but now I need to right the second chapter up hey, in that you’ll see how this character looks  looks and a fight scene so (Insert Fluttershy YAY here).

And no author notes so till next time adios**

Human Equestria

Hey everyone this is chapter 2 and if you see any spelling mistakes in this new characters dialogue don’t worry there intentional..

CHAPTER 2: HUMAN EQUESTRIA

“You this Chrysaliss bitch?” said the voice from before, the smoke cleared to reveal an adult male human, he had messy blond hair and was wearing a denim jacket, a blue shirt with a few smudges of dirt on it, blue jeans and a belt which was bright green, to top it off he was carrying a small metal stick,

“How DARE you address me like that!” screamed a now very annoyed Chrysaliss,

“Listen lassie, I could give two shits but I just got out of a prison cell ah’ve been stuck for about a thousand years, ah’ve just had to smash my way through about 10,000,000 Changelings, all trying to change intah me, and nah I got to deal with pissy, pompous, bitch who only has about what an eighth or ninth of my power so I’m gonna swear, I’m gonna swear a whole bloody lot.” The man said with a shrug, “Oh and yes I did just monologue ya bitch.”

Everypony in the room jaws dropped in shock by this strange person,

“Who are you?” Chrysaliss asked in shock,

“The names William, but you can call me Sir William Motha Fucker, and to ya readers out there yes that was a reference to No More Heroes they’ll be loads of em.” William replied smugly,

“CHANGELINGS GET HIM!” Chrysaliss commanded her minions, the Changelings all charged a William while he just smiled,

William grabbed the stick with his over hand and an energy beam came out of it,

“Beam Katana, Tsubaki Mark III, Let’s Rip!” William shouted before doing a leftward swing sending an energy wave at the Changeling’s sending them flying into the walls knocking them out, “Like I said, Fuckin Weak, really the guards are bigger trouble…. For about five seconds.” William said starring straight at Chrysaliss “Now before we fight and all let me put some music on.” He said pulling out a HTC Wildfire,

“No, no, yea.. No, maybe, doesn’t fit, no, no, wait yes Nathan Is Are Boss.” William said, going through his phones music tracks, all of a sudden a techno beat began beating out his phone (for the upcoming fight scene please play Nathan is are Boss from No More Heroes 2 Desperate Struggle), he began moving to the beat and his Beam Katana then turned into Boom Box,

“Now lassie let’s see what you can do against the Crownless King.” He said before three rockets flew out the Boom Box,

Chrysaliss did a swing motion with her head cutting two of the rockets in half but the third one kept going and smashed into her sending her flying across the room before she hit a wall, she got back up and began firing magic lasers at him but the Boom Box released a sonic pulse countering the blast,

The Boom Box then turned in to armour around his arms as he charged at Chrysaliss, she turned her horn into a giant sword which she then tried to use to attack him with but William blocked it with his left arm, Chrysaliss then shrunk her horn to get past his arm, then re-growing when it got past his arm and then penetrated the side of his stomach, William merely smiled (song stops here),

“DELIVARENCE!” he shouted as Chrysaliss cut him in half, his lower half fell to floor but his top half went flying into a wall spraying blood everywhere, she then began to laugh,

“You SEE!?” she asked, “Your last chance and I killed him.” She then began to laugh evilly,

“Ah now that would be a problem if I was anybody, or in your case anypony else, but you see I’m not anybody else.” Came Williams voice, everypony in the rooms head suddenly turned to his higher half only to see it whole again,

“Now I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this but you forced my hand,” he said with a big grin on his face, then all of the Elements of Harmony appeared around him, “ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDIN ME CELESTIA!?” he shouted at the cocoon that held Celestia “I tell ya not to change them but no you do it anyways, oh and before you lot ask I was the guy who used and created the Elements.” This last section made everypony to yet again have their jaws drop,

“Now let me show ya how they’re SUPPOSED to be used,” William said his grin returning, then the Element suddenly turned into six pieces of amour losing the marks of their holders,

The ones that were once Kindness and Generosity became leggings, Laughter and Honesty became gauntlets, Loyalty became a chest plate and Magic became a helmet, each piece attached itself to William (if you want to know what it looks type up Ventus’ armour on Google then imagine it golden),

“Now then,” he said, he pulled out his phone and hit a track without even looking, “Time to Look Pimpin.” (For this section please play Mad World’s Look Pimpin, but I will provide lyrics),

“You see my swag” William warped in front of Chrysaliss,

“Now you wanna come and give me all this drag?” he then side stepped her attack and delivering a very painful upper cut,

“I think you better fight back” he said jumping back two steps,

“Because my hand is itchin' to give you a smack” he then slapped her sending one of her teeth flying out,

“What's your name again, Jack?” he gave a quizzical look while rubbing his chin,

“It's the end of the road, there ain't no turnin' back” he span round on his foot smacking her in the face again,

“Don't let the fly face fool ya” he slammed his hands on the top of her head,

“Mother Fucka, it's 'bout time that I school ya” doing the same as last time but this time upwards smashing her chin,

“Don't worry I'm not in a hurry” he delievered three slow but painful hooks,

“I don't even wanna get my fresh gear dirty” he then wiped some of her blood off of his gauntlets,

“A little birdie chirped of your flurry” he said blocking five of her blasts of magic,

“Now I must nip it, or better yet, bury” he blocked a sixth blast and tripped her up,

“Your entity, look at me while I'm talkin'” he lifted her up,

“I heard you was lurkinn', or was it even stalkin'” he warped behind her and round house kicked her side,

“My program thinkin' you the man in the place” he then uppercut her launching her into the air,

“Now it's 'bout time you get a hand to the face” he smacked her upside of the face,

“Look Pimpin'! I ain't playin'” he warped to where she had landed,

“In a minute you gonna be layin'” she got u only for him to knock her down again,

“On the ground I ain't messin' around” he span around on his heel and smack her head twice,

“My city! My rules! My money! My town!” he did an uppercut, a frontal punch, a kick to the face and then a bitch slap in time to lyrics, (music stops here)

Chrysaliss was a bleeding shaking wreck laying on the floor,

“So long.” William said, a sphere of energy appeared in his hands and he then punched the ground, releasing a massive energy explosion sending all the Changelings flying away from Canterlot, “Fuckin WEEEAAAK!” William said turning around he looked at the mane six,

“Now let’s fix this up,” he said, his armour disappeared and the Elements returned to their chest, he then created a Keyblade and held it straight up, “CURAJA!” he shouted, everypony in the rooms injuries were completely healed, “Now for you, Celestia.” He then pointed the Keyblade at the cocoon “Fira!” a small ball of flame was launched at the cocoon burning it and released Celestia, she began to fall but William jumped up and caught her,

“You owe ten now, you know that right,” he said with a smirk, but Celestia just looked at him with an angry face, “But for now you better fix up this wedding, so long Sweetheart.” He landed and was about to put Celestia down but gave her a kiss on the cheek making her blush a bit, he put her down and jumped to the main broken window,

“Well be seeing ya later.” He said, suddenly a motorbike appeared under him, he gave it a quick rev, “Long time no see old girl.”

“Where do you think you’re going?” asked a very annoyed Celestia, William gave his bike another rev,

“I’ve been stuck in that cell for a thousand years lassie, I’m gettin out of ere, and before I forget I ain’t going back to that cell ever again got it Sweetheart?” he said, the bike then flew right out the window and landed on the castle wall and just kept driving,

“Who was that princess?” asked Twilight, Celestia turned around to see the mane six who were all getting back up from the floor with no blood on them at all,

“That was William, the most dangerous and powerful being ever.” She answered, her voice was full of sorrow, everypony just looked at her with shock on their faces.

END OF CHAPTER.

Well that’s about it, I hope you guys enjoyed it and don’t worry William will get funnier goodbye.

A party crashing I will go

Hey every one so in this chapter we begin to learn a bit about William so let's go

A PARTY CRASHING I WILL GO.

After William left and the Changelings went flying out of Canterlot “Actually, its they went flying the fuck out.” WILLIAM SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I TAKE MY STAFF AND RAM IT UP YOU’RE A- er ignore that anyways after the incident the mane six, Celestia, Cadence and Shining Armour were able to fix up the wedding, after the two became a married the after party began the two left on their honeymoon,

“Well todays been eventful.” Said Twilight to her friends, they had got together at one of the tables Celestia and Luna had decided to join them,

“Yes it has my faithful student, I just hope you can forgive me for not believing you?” Celestia asked looking highly upset, Twilight couldn’t help but chuckle at her mentor,

“Of course I can princess, you are my mentor and oldest friend after all.” She answered with a smile,

Suddenly they heard a very loud shouting of “BEER!” they all looked over to the drinks table to see William, still wearing his clothes from before, chugging down a bottle of beer,

“God I love beer!” he exclaimed wiping his face with his sleeve, Celestia’s smile suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a look of anger,

“What are you doing here William?” she asked in a very annoyed tone,

"Simple I've come here to have fun and get some beer, I mean really how do you expect a man, an Irish one at that, to go a thousand years without beer?” he replied taking another swig of his beer,

“You had food and drinks.” Celestia replied, William stopped drinking his beer and swallowed his mouthful,

“Food?” he asked now very annoyed, “Food that’s what you call that shit? The stuff for ponies? I’m a fuckin human not a pony, I need fuckin meat not hay and drinks? You mean slop, I downed twenty thousand cans of Coke-Cola and cut off my own limbs for nutrition!” he said very, very angry,

“I KNEW THAT!” Celestia shouted at him,

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?! OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY SITTIN ON YOUR BIG FUCKIN THRONE DOING JACKSHIT!?” he shouted at her, some of the ponies turned towards them and looked at William like he was a mad man, “AND BEFORE ANY OF YOU LOT SAY ANY THIN, I’M TEN TIMES FUCKIN STRONGER THEN HER!” shouted to the crowd, everypony but Luna and a steaming Celestia gasped

“Luna he’s joking right?” Twilight whispered to the princess of the night,

“I wish he was but William is the strongest being in existence.” She answered,

William then released a breath and looked like he had calmed down,

“Look sorry, but I was stuck in that prison down there for a thousand years and I’m a bit pissed, so my angers gonna spike now and then.” He said, he turned and headed to the table the mane six were at and Celestia followed, a bit calmer now,

“So you lot are the new ‘older’s of the elements, eh?” he asked pulling a chair out of nowhere,

Now he was closer to Twilight she was able to see two new things about him, one his shirt was clean and two he had two badges on, one saying “A’hm Irish and A’h know it.” and the other saying “Kiss me A’hm Irish.”,

“Yep I’m Pinkie Pie the element of Laughter!” Pinkie said with her normal amount of energy,

“A’h know, Your Rarity the element of Generosity, your Fluttershy the element of Kindness, your Applejack the element of Honesty, your Rainbow Dash the element of Loyalty and your Twilight Sparkle the element of Magic and brother to Shining Armour.” He said, “Before ya ask, I ave a psychological link to the elements, also Celestia posted Shining to guard me on a few occasions, man ah scared the shit outta him on more than one occasion.” He said,

“So you know all of us?” Rainbow asked,

“Aye lass, and if it’s alright with you lot I’d like to ang out with ya.” He said leaning back in his chair,

“Sure that’s fine, right guys?” Twilight asked, all her friends agreed,

“Nice, now if ya excuse me.” He said getting out of his chair, he walked over to the DJ’s spot, “Oi lassie!” he shouted to DJ PON-3, she turned to him and unlike the rich ponies that kept walking away from him she simply replied,

“Sup?” she said casually,

“Can I put one of my own songs on mate?” he asked, she nodded and he plugged his phone in, “Time for me theme song, Stop Hanging DJ’s.” he said, a techno beat began blasting out the amplifiers,

William began to walk back to the table but he stopped half way there and did a ninety degree turn, he squinted his eyes to see a massive dust cloud,

“The fu- OH SHIT, SHIT, SHI-” he shouted but was cut off when he was tackled by something that made a massive GLOMP sound,

“WILLIAM!” shouted a high pitched female voice, as the dust cleared there was a rather strange girl hugging William,

She was wearing a black dress with white diamonds on the tip of the skirt part, she had long blond hair with a black hairband with a red rose stuck to it and she also had gloves that went from the tip of her hands too her elbows,

“Margaret!” William said hugging her, several posh ponies looked at the two with disgusted faces but they didn’t care,

They got up off the floor and William picked her up bride style causing her to giggle and the ponies to just looked at them with shock and disgust, William carried her over to the table and placed on his chair he then pulled another chair out of nowhere,

“Lassies I’d like ya to meet mi girlfriend Margaret.” William said to the mane six,

“G’day.” Margaret said with a joke salute,

“Why do you two talk like that?” asked Pinkie with a confused look,

“Ah well ya see I’m three quarters English one eighth Australian and an eighth Scottish.” Margaret answered the first part,

“And A’hm three quarters English and a quarter Irish.” William answered the second part,

“So William what are you two exactly?” Rarity asked,

“Were the last of the humans as I blew the rest of them up.” William said with a shrug, they all looked at him with shocked looks, “Well if ah didn’t you lot would be dead, hell I’ve fixed loads of problems with this world.” He said staring of in to space,

“You KILLED all of your species and you have no remorse what so ever?” Twilight asked looking at him,

“Aye we’ve both killed loads of beings, ell I’ve got the nickname “The Reaper” just cause of what I use as a weapon and how many beings I’ve killed, but that’s next to none compared to Will ere.” Margaret replied, she pointed at William with her thumb,

“And how any “beings” has he killed?” asked Rainbow,

“A hundred million.” William said in a monotone, the mane six looked at William all shaking in fear, “Anyways see ya round.” William got out of his chair and began to walk away, he whistled and his Schpeltiger came to him, then Margaret jumped on the back as he drove.

END OF CHAPTER.

Three chapters down who knows how many more to go see ya next time.