Assimilation of Magic

Pain.

Pain was the only thing she could feel.

Physical pain, yes, but moreso the pain of guilt. Of shame. Of failure.

All of her children were doomed to die because of a stupid mistake.

That’s all this was. A mistake. A stupid, terrible, horrible mistake.

She knew she should have been more careful. She knew she should gone slower. She knew she should have seen the signs and cared more about them, but her stupid emotions got in the way.

All because she wanted to vindicate herself. To prove that she wasn’t a failure.

‘You failed!’

A fool.

‘You fucking idiot!’

A waste.

‘You useless fucking waste! What the fuck were you doing, Chrysalis!?’

‘I-I... Mommy...’

‘Don’t fucking say that! You’re supposed to be fucking professional!’

‘B-but, I w-wanted to...’

‘Wants are fucking irrelevant! I’m trying to train you to replace me whenever I die, because that can happen at anytime, and I can’t have you doing what you fucking want then!’

*sniffle*

‘You’re fucking pathetic, Chrysalis. How can you lead our hive when you’re whining like bitch just because you didn’t get your way?’

She shook her head. She didn’t want to think about it, no matter how much she knew it to be true.

She was a failure.

She let her own race die just because of a stupid mistake.

Her mother was right all these years.

The pain of her cracked carapace seeping out its hemolymph sapped at her mind, a dark, cold void being all that was left for her consciousness to exist within when her senses fled her.

“Queen-Mother?”

A cracked voice slightly broke the monotonous blackness that surrounded her.

“Q-Queen-Mother?”

The blackness shifted back and forth, then very slowly started to lift.

A piercing white light flooded her vision but for a moment, with no time for any mental process before a crushing pain burned at her sides, the white light flooding her sight again while the voice squealed, “Queen-Mother!”

A hoarse, crackling groan was the only thing that could leave her lips. Fortunately, that seemed to be enough, the crushing pain receding while the light dimmed a decent amount.

Some ragged breaths escaped her as her eyes blinked repeatedly, the whitewashed world around her slowly fading to become a bright green forest, vivid and lush grass beneath her and tall trees shooting high into the sky to block some of the light coming down from above.

She felt a cool, relatively soft surface on her barrel that she was laying on, her forelegs splayed in front of her and peeking into the edges of her clearing vision. Her hind legs lay jutting out behind her, likewise resting on the cool grass, the area on her body just between them held no unique discomfort, meaning that her hive still may go on.

Turning her eyes to look leftward, she saw a tree rather near her with a large patch of green hemolymph splattered on it, a trail falling down to the more vivid plant life below. She managed to turn her head enough to look at her side, the teal stripes running across it being cracked a bit with a light amount of green goo plastered over the worst parts of it.

She then turned her head slowly to the right to see a pair of her children staring at her with wide, terrified eyes. Not terrified of retaliation, but of... death. Of her death.

Was it... sympathy? No, she had made sure to eliminate all of that when training them.

Well... if she died, then her hive would have no Queen, so the children would have no order and would be unable to organize anything and thus would be unable to survive for very long. They want her to live so that the hive can live; that makes more sense.

Looking at them, she saw one to be an infiltrator and the other a nurse.

A nurse... why was a nurse in Canterlot? Why was she there during an invasion? Why did she send a nurse into battle?

Because there was noling else, that’s why.

But she still could have left the ‘ling to live so she could have something to fall back on if she failed... Why didn’t she do that? That made a lot more sense... The nurses aren’t meant for battle anyway... Why did she put them there...?

Because she was a fool.

She ended her hive because she was a fool.

‘You idiot!’

A waste.

‘You useless waste of time!’

A failure.

‘You’ve never fucking done anything right!’

“Q-Queen-Mother?” The nurse asked.

She noticed something warm and wet was trailing down from her eyes and across her cheeks.

*sniffle*

“I-I...” She tried to speak, her voice broke partway through.

Clearing her throat, she tried again, “I am... sorry, Nurse-Child.”

The children reeled back a bit with surprise clear in their expressions.

“‘S-sorry’?” The nurse asked in bewilderment.

“W-why would you be sorry? We all failed...” The infiltrator followed up, voice clear with shame.

She shook her head. “No...” A deep, crackled exhale left her mouth, “I failed...”

The other changelings blinked in confusion, then glanced to each other before looking back to her while looking like they were trying to say something.

“I-I...” Her voice was cut off when coughs escaped her, small spatters of hemolymph flung from her mouth as her body racked from the abrasive wheezes. A worried look from the nurse was stopped from becoming a frantic dart towards her by her right foreleg twisting and raising slightly to signal the ‘ling to pause.

“I-I was foolish...” She began again, her voice still showing its wear with her wheezing, scraping tone, “R-reckless... arrogant... and look where that got us...”

The infiltrator was about to speak, but the hoof pointed at the nurse shifted towards the other ‘ling, stopping the words in their tracks.

“It’s not your fault... y-you were only following my orders... you never knew how to do any different...” Another fit of racking coughs spat up some more hemolymph from her throat, but she managed to swallow it back down before it fully escaped her body. “And e-even despite my failure... I still put, y-you,” She pointed back towards the nurse, “In danger, for no reason...”

The changelings looked rather shocked by the statements, the nurse looking down in thought before the statements continued.

“You’re a nurse... you’re not supposed to b-be in battle...” She said, the warm wetness rolling down her face growing slightly in volume. “I only put you there, b-because I wasn’t thinking about... the c-consequences...”

The other ‘lings had somber and confused expressions as they looked back at her, wheezing breaths leaving her for the while it lasted in silence.

“We, um...” The infiltrator spoke, though paused to glance back towards the nurse, who’s lip was bitten with a tension that didn’t seem to be understood. “We didn’t get very far... out of Canterlot...”

She looked towards them expectantly, though resignation was clear in her expression.

“We landed in a forest near the base of the mountain,” The infiltrator continued, tone harbouring a faint sorrow and pain. “There was a pony village on its edge, where some... event, was being held.” The changeling’s eyes squinted, twitching in tense anguish for a few moments before the mouth below continued in that same tone, “A... party, seemingly... and the occasion to celebrate was of our... defeat...”

The harsh wheezing slowed slightly at that, but then began to pick up a hotter, nearly burning tone.

“They celebrated... our deaths?” She asked, anguish flaring in her voice.

The other changelings glanced to each other again, communicating silently before the nurse responded with that taut tone, “They may not have known our... fates, but they did at least celebrate our failure...”

More wheezing, burning breaths filled the dead, cold silence, a tint of bewildered pain coming from the smaller ‘lings. The heat soon became mixed with a deep, wet sorrow, the tears streaking down her face blazing with a rage restrained only by depression.

A slow, deliberate breath in, a hefty swallow of hemolymph and snot, then a raking breath back out.

“Such is war...” She closed her eyes, the tears now seeping out through her lashes. “All fighters see themselves on the r-right side, with naught a care... for the death they wreak. Not before, from tension; not during, from action; and not after, from c-celebration.”

Silence reigned yet again, the changelings having not the words to speak that may break the anguish that seeped through them all.

“So... n-now what?” The nurse asked, worried and dreadful.

Another long inhale, this time through the nostrils, with an exhale to follow.

“There is, but one option...” She spoke, her tone laced with despair, “One opportunity... t-to curtail our demise... A-and I am afraid it is no more reckless than that which has already brought us this close...”

The nurse’s hooves shuffled in worry while the infiltrator’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

“What is this option, Queen-Mother?” The infiltrator asked.

An odd mix between a grin and a grimace were seen on her face, her legs turning to press the hooves at their ends into the ground. “Well...” She started, her hooves sinking into the soft grass as her legs tried to push her upwards. “T-to live, we must reproduce, and to survive, we must eliminate our enemies. I was thinking...” Her legs finally managed to lift her barrel, pushing it higher and higher until her legs managed to straighten out, keeping her body from falling back down, “We kill two birds... with one clutch of eggs.” A green shimmering flame along the back end of her barrel brought out a large, tubular mass that’s purpose was specifically to inject those eggs she spoke of.