Li'l Chryssy & The Infant-ite Army
"This has been a long time coming, you loathsome waste of space. For your cwimes against the changeling cwown and because I hate you in genewal, you shall hereby be executed. Do you have any objections?"
"..."
"Not talking, huh? Well goodbye and good widdance."
In the center of the playroom, li'l Chryssy lightly grinds the blade of a hatchet against the sharp edges of her jagged fangs, hungrily staring at her helpless prisoner.
She raises her weapon and-
"YAH!"
THUD!
Down came the hatchet with a echoing THWACK, cutting her victim's head clean off. Chrysalis releases the weapon in pure bliss as cotton fluff bursts out and bathes her in its fuzziness.
While she snickers in delight, her afternoon guard trots inside to see the cuddly carnage.
"Another public execution, I take it?" he asks, stepping around the scattered fluff and stuff of the changeling's twisted work. "Awww, darn it all! You killed Mr. Jammers?!"
"Indeed," she nods, kicking a tattered strawberry plush aside. "I hate stwawbewwies."
"Ugh, where did you even hide these weapons?"
"In a place where you'll nevah locate them. Someplace you wouldn't DARE seawch!"
"Try me."
"Wha? Unhoof me, you fool!"
The stallion picks the foal up in his magic and dangles her upside down. There, an assortment of knives, daggers and mini maces slip out of the changeling's diaper, clanging loud and piling up on the playroom floor.
"Cwap." the foal pouts.
"Chryssy, you really gotta stop this insanity," the guard sighed, setting her down. "At this rate, you'll stay friendless."
"That's not twue! Admiwal Snuggles over there is my companion. He's my day planner."
A little blonde kitten plushie slouched over in the corner of the room with a quill and notepad in it's grasp softly falls on its side.
"Oh, Chryssy..."
The guard's woes are interrupted by the surprise arrival of one Twilight Sparkle, who enters the room with a warm smile.
"Afternoon, little Chryssy." she coos teasingly.
"Book horse." Chryssy utters, turning her head away to prepare another plushie.
"Any progress here, guard?"
"YAH!"
THUD!
"It......needs a little more work."
"Don't worry, we got this," Twilight nods reassuringly. "Take the rest of the day off, she's in good hooves."
"We?"
Twilight escorts the stallion out the room before returning to the frenzied foal with a little basket hovering in her magic.
"So," Chryssy grumbles, popping her neck coldly. "What wiveting lovey dovey 'solution' do you have on weforming me this time, egghead?"
"Oh, I'm not doing anything, Chrysalis." the alicorn states calmly, setting the basket down before the changeling. "This one is between you and her."
"And who's the fwesh meat-"
"Hewwo!"
"Ah!"
Emerging from the basket was a happy Flurry Heart, flapping her wings in excitement.
"Oh, heavens no," Chryssy whines, dropping the hatchet. "Not her! You gave my former genewal post twaumatic slob disowder when I nearly enslaved you all!"
"Hee hee." Flurry giggles, clapping her hooves innocently.
"Why did you bwing her here?!"
"For your playdate, of course." Twilight says, placing a picnic basket on the floor.
"Playdate? You're leaving me with that monstwosity?!"
Chryssy picks up her hatchet and chucks it at the alicorn in a blind rage.
"Eeyup," Twilight says, halting the weapon centimeters away from her skull with her magic. "Princess' orders. Oh, and Celestia told me to give you a message. She said, 'Thanks for being a good foal by slipping laxatives in my secret stash of cakes', something along those lines."
"Hey, I did her a favor! She needed to purge all the sweets!"
"Yeah, well, now I gotta help her with her duties today because of you, and I figured you could use a little discipline."
"Mmm," Flurry Heart muffles, nibbling on Chrysalis' mane playfully. "Tah lah lirish!"
"Unhoof that, you savage! My A-tier mane does not taste like licorice!"
"Wait......you could understand her?" Twilight gasps.
"What do you mean? She said it loud and clear, you didn't hear that?"
"Ooh, Celestia side effects must've given you the ability to perfectly communicate with other infants. I gotta document this!"
"No, wait, don't leave!"
Chryssy's pleas are drowned out by Twilight's adorkable mumbles of nerdiness as she trots out of the room, books and quills flocked around her head. The door slams shut as a transparent light blue lock clamps around the knob.
The frightened changeling turns around and finds the silly alicorn child nibbling on her mane once more.
"What did I say?!" she huffs, yanking her soaked mane away.
"Wah play?"
"No! You just......stay over there and be dweadful."
Flurry sheepishly flaps over to the small picnic basket and searches through its contents, settling on tackling the desserts first.
"Cookie?" she offers with her magic. "Oh mee rayza."
"Oatmeal waisin, you say?" Chryssy ponders, hesitantly taking the treat and nibbling on it. "Hmm......not bad."
"Sabba tah nee, blech!"
"Nopony likes oatmeal waisin?"
"Uh uh."
"Huh, might explain why I like 'em then."
"Doh lah me?"
"Do I like you? You're not the bouncy pink one, so......you're tolewable."
"Yay!"
Flurry happily wraps Chryssy in a smol huggle, nuzzling her chubby cheeks against hers.
"ACK!" Chryssy wails, grabbing her chest. "What sorcewy did you taint me with?! Welease me!"
"Huh gee!"
"Your 'huggies' are not appweciated! Ugh, I hate f-f-f-feelings!"
The agonizing queen slips out of Flurry's grip and gasps for air, wiping the sweat off her brow.
"So this is what I've become. A powerful leader, with a stwong, feawsome army weduced to being a chew toy for a cootie-covered maniac determined to infect me with her feelings, yuck. I'm hopeless, I can't find another army if my life depended on it."
"I coo hep." Flurry nods.
"Pfffft, you? How could you help me?"
"Yah, I shaar! It sharree."
"Share...ing? What is this 'Shar-eeng' you speak of? Does it cause misewy?"
Flurry scurries to the center of the playroom and delicately lights up her horn. She mumbles and babbles a strange set of toddler words before her glow fades away and the room grows silent.
"...what did you just do?" Chryssy utters, looking around the room.
"Ah neeba go ahmah!" she squeaked. "Ah sah!"
"Outside? How am I supposed to bweak out of-"
PEW!
The li'l alicorn pews a tiny beam of light, splitting the magic lock in two.
"I stand cowwected."
Chryssy gallops out of the playroom and into the hallway, where her jaw hits the ground hard.
Stumbling before her was a massive force. An untouchable, unstoppable breed that is something worth ~~under~~estimating. There stood an army of soft-headed infants, waddling around ready for anything.
Anything except nappy time.
"Ah hah awmee foh sweena offa pa." Flurry says with a nod.
"You've had an army of your own this whole time?"
"Geep saspa pwincehz."
"The perks of being a foal princess?"
"Mmhmm."
"And you're shar-ing them with me?"
"Mmhmm!"
"Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Chryssy exclaims happily before covering her mouth.
"Naga squee?" Flurry giggles.
"N-No, that was NOT a squee!"
"Yah soor?"
"Positive, now wound these minions up!"
The alicorn child flaps over the crowd of babies and grabs their attention with a pair of colorful toy keys.
"Ooooooh!" the foals babble in excitement.
"Attention, all infants!" Chryssy announces. "I am Queen Chwysalis, and I am your leader now! Today, I will turn you all fwom useless slob bags, to unstoppable cuddly machines! And your weward shall be......cookies!"
Her army of babies squee, coo and clap their wittle smol hooves happily.
"Awwwwwww...r-right then, alright then! For the cookies!"
"FAH COO KEEZ!!!" they chant.
"Hey, what's goin' on down here?"
Chryssy's crowd turn to see a gruff, confused stallion at the end of the hall witnessing the rugrat rally.
"Awww, how'd you little ones get in here?" he coos. "So many of you."
"Dah plah?" Flurry gulps.
"U-Uh, the plan..." Chryssy panics. ATTACK! HE STOLE THE COOKIES!"
"Huh? Who said- AH!!!"
A wave of babies topple upon the guard, wittle hooves poking and prodding him as he's pinned to the floor.
"Ah!" he wails, succumbing to the coos of the foals. "Ahh! Ahh! Awwwwwww, wook at all of you!"
"Huh," Chrysalis ponders. "Maybe bwutal violence isn't the wight stwategy here, but simply pure cuteness......what a wip!"
Chryssy waddles atop the beaten stallion, staring deep into his quivering eyes.
"Had enough yet?" she chuckles menacingly.
"N-Never!" the guard coughs, barely having the strength to lift his head. "You cannot break me. Your tactics may be effective, but you will never take me down!"
"Oh, Fluwwy?"
Flurry Heart happily flaps to the changeling's side.
"You know what to do, girl."
"Uh huh!" the foal grunts mischievously, towering over her target.
"Come on, go for the final blow..."
"No," the stallion pleads. "No! NO!!!"
Boop!
Flurry boops the guard into submission, his heart capacity for cuteness running bone dry as he passes out.
Further down the hallway come two guard mares who immediately discover the exe-cute-ion.
"Fetch." Chryssy commands, pointing at the two as they run off.
Her army rushes on down the hall, babbling proudly.
"It's a good day to d'aww."
"So, you thought you could escape my wath, didn't ya? Foolishly twy to escape your fates?"
"Omigosh, she is so adowable!"
"I know, right? I could just eat her up!"
At the tallest tower in the kingdom, Chryssy watches over the two captured guard mares as they stand dangerously close to the edge with thick ropes wrapped around their necks.
"After I'm done with you both, you won't be eating anything ever again." the changeling snickers. "Any last wowds, peasants?"
"C-Can I pinch your wittle cheeks?" one mare squees. "Just once-"
Chryssy pushes the guards before they could finish another syllable, sending them plummeting off the edge.
The ropes nailed to the side of the castle wiggle in place before stopping abruptly.
"The endgame has begun..." ๐
"Augh, my head..."
The changeling peers over the edge and sees the mares below, laying around in a safe ball pit practically unscathed.
Everyfoal looks on in silence.
"You fools!" Chryssy grunts, stomping her smol hooves. "You tied it up wrong, the loops were too big! What's with the ball pit?"
"Tha swee." Flurry inserts.
"You thought they were swings?!"
The guards rise out of the pit and gallop off.
"Quick before they get weinforcements, to fweedom!"
The baby wave carries the frantic queen down the halls in a flash. Three unicorn guards come around a corner, horns glowing.
"Ah tah!" Flurry barks.
A small group of rowdy foals leap out and cling to the guards' faces with a squeaky "Rawwwwr!"
"Awwwww, you're all so soft and- ACK!" one of them squees before collapsing, along with the other fallen stallions, to the cuddly cavalry.
The battle for cookies raged on throughout the castle.
Sweets were pillaged from every kitchen, guards were huggled and nibbled to oblivion, walls were written with crayon. Chaos had a new name that day.
Today was Armagadorkable.
It's a working title. 
"Yes, my subjects!" Chryssy pants in excitement as she's carried into the foyer toward the exit. "Once I'm fwee and exact my wevenge, my army will celebwate with as many cookies as they can stomach!"
"Yaaaaaay!" they cheered.
"Hold it right there!"
The doors are suddenly blocked by Twilight, tapping her hoof expectantly.
"National Foal Day isn't until May 2nd, what's going on here?"
"Bug off, egghead! Chryssy grunts. "No pun intended!"
"Oh. Chrysalis. Should've known it was you. What are you doing this time?"
"Exacting my perfectly understandable wevenge, that's what! The day of reckoning is nigh!"
"Really? With babies?"
"My army is unstoppable, each foal more cuddly than the last. Isn't that wight?"
"RAWWWWR!!!" they roar obediently.
"If you're telling me the first foal is the least cuddly, I'd like to speak with them."
"Seize her!"
Twilight raises a magical barrier as the baby wave crashes against it, their smol assaults barely leaving a dent.
"Your puppy eyes are strong," Twilight utters. "But not enough! What makes you think you can get past me?"
"Levewage."
Chryssy pulls a droopy grey pony doll out and waves it around teasingly, its button eyes dangling freely.
"Smarty Pants!" Twilight gasps. "You monster!"
"Don't try to flatter me!"
Twilight's magic barrier crumbles, the infants charging and weighing down the princess, wearing her out with their wholesome coos.
"Isn't that just adowable, Twilight?" Chryssy laughs, standing triumphantly on the alicorn's head. "Don't you just want to die?"
"No!" Twilight strains, struggling to stand up. "You won't succeed this time, Chrysalis! You can't take over Equestria with cuteness!"
"Your fwiends aren't here to save you this time. You can't win!"
"Flurry, what time is it!"
"Huh?" Flurry ponders. "Uh...uh....nah tah!"
"Naptime?!" Chryssy gasps. "No, you fiend!"
Flurry poofs aways before shortly returning with an eccentric phonograph. The device's soft melody fills the room and stops the restless foals in their tracks.
"You must be really tired, little ones." Twilight coos. "Who wants to go sleepy bye?"
A little foal yawns, rubs her eyes and lays down on her back, sucking her hoof soundly.
"Pudgy!" Chrysalis whines in defeat. "Slobby! Smelly! Whiskey! Tango! Foxtwot! Chompsky? Darn it all, I forgot all your names, wake up, you fools! For the cookies, remember?!"
One by one, the little ones drop like flies, rubbing their eyes and collapsing on their squishy sides with a cute yawn.
"Twilight, I'm gonna tear off your head, hollow out your skull, and use it as a dishwasher-safe decowative bowl!"
"Ah, what a great way to start a Tuesday."
Chryssy's eyes shrink as she spots her muscle on the princess' back beside Smarty Pants, succumbing to the soft music.
"No, Fluwwy! Don't close those eyes, don't you DARE close those eyes! I need you!"
"Ah seepy..." Flurry yawns, laying gently on her smol hooves and goes sleepy bye.
"Traitor! I will smash your bwain into a smoothie and dwink your thoughts!"
"Zzzzzzzz..."
"MOTHER 
!"
The music screeches as Twilight skids to a halt.
"Uh oh..."
It was at that moment that she knew.
She bucked up.
[Later that day...]
"Goodness, that is just crazy, Chryssy," her afternoon guard sighs. "Even for you."
"Mmph." Chryssy huffs, bubbles flying from the lumpy bar of soap lodged in her scrunched up maw before she spits everything out. "It was an accident, you ignowant fool. Fweedom was so close, yet I was foiled by......naptime!"
"Oof, 'A' for effort, I suppose. You're lucky you're a foal though. You would've had medical bills out the flank, so many guards are in the hospital pleasantly scarred 'cuz of you."
"Heh heh heh."
"Did you at least have a fun playdate with Flurry Heart?"
"...meh. Minus the cwushing, humiliating defeat at the hooves of that cweature, it was..."
Chryssy quietly stuffs an oatmeal raisin cookie under her pillow before curling up in her blanket.
"Tolewable."
"Progress, Chryssy. Progress."
"Hmm, indeed. Until then, pwepare for tomowwow, guard."
"Why, Chryssy? What's happening tomorrow?"
"Guess."
"Twy to take over Equestwia?"
"...don't mock me."
"Sorry, you're just so precious!"
"Ugh, my life..."
"Back you go, Mr. Soap." ๐งผ
Author's Note
Twinkle, twinkle little star
Crippling you with my crowbar.
Throw you off a cliff so high
Hope you break your neck and die.
Twinkle, twinkle little star
I, Chryssy, gave you a scar.
