A stroke of the brush, a new world painted. I dipped my brush in the jar of heavily-tinted water. I stared at the new canvas, freshly painted and drying. It was a lakeside view, a tall, snow-capped mountain surrounded by trees. A small sail boat was in the water.
I felt a smile stretch my dry lips, I wanted to go somewhere like that some day. My lips stung as my smile turned to a frown. If I went somewhere like that, what would I do? I don't know how to sail, and I do not understand anything about camping.
My smile returned, my lips stung in protest. That's why I had my paintings, they could take me places with so much as a glance. "It's beautiful, Ebony." I turned to the owner of the voice.
She was a young woman, pale-white skin and a faded, dark-blue head of shoulder-long hair. She was dressed in nothing but a plain, simple white dress with long-sleeves. I smiled at her. "Thank you." I turned back to the painting.
She loves watching me paint and, unlike others, she never disturbs me. She just lets me paint to my heart's content. "Your cousin should be here soon," She said from behind me. "She always comes to visit during Wednesdays around this time." I turned and smiled at her.
"Thank you for encouraging me to get to know her, she's nice," I spoke, my voice resounding loudly in my ears, much to my discomfort. I shook my head, which didn't do much.
"Don't stress yourself, Ebony," She said, walking up to me and rubbing my shoulder. "You need to be fresh for her arrival." She stood up. "I'll let you freshen up." She waved at me and left my room.
I turned back to the canvas, admiring it's depiction. The lone sailor letting the flow of the water decide his boat's course.
"Jacket." A voice roused me, turning to my room's door. A petite, red-skinned woman wearing a white uniform was standing in the door way. "Your cousins here, would you like to see her?" I nodded. "She'll be here shortly." the red-skinned woman closed the door.
I stood up, taking my painting stool with me. I set it down in front of my room's door. It was an old, heavy, wooden door. A medium-sized slide hatch in the center of it, eye-level for talking with guests. Under it was another, larger slide hatch to allow medium-sized objects through, such as a tray with food.
I waited patiently, as it was the only thing I could do. She always left just before my beloved cousin appeared. I rested my chin on my hands, waiting near the door.
My ears perked at the sound of multiple sets of shoes stepping along the corridor outside my room. The foot steps stopped outside my door. "Thank you for letting me see him again." a girl's voice rang through the door.
A series of footsteps left my door, but the tempo had changed. There was one set of shoes missing. I had picked up on many things after coming here, oddly enough.
"Hey, Ebony." The hatch in the middle of the door opened, revealing a light-purple-skinned girl with faded-lilac eyes and long purple hair with a cyan streak. Her pink beanie with stars on it laid on her head. "How are you feeling?" Starlight asked, a crooked smile on her face.
I smiled right back. "Hey, Starlight, I feel alright –" I glanced into my room, at the fresh painting. "– I actually just finished another painting, it's a lakeside view with a sail boat in the water." I looked back to my cousin. "But enough about me, how have you been?" I inquired, not giving her the chance to respond.
Starlight let out a soft, exasperated sigh. "Uh, where do I even start..." she rubbed her temples, and suddenly, Starlight seemed so much older than I remembered. "Collage's been tough, I haven't been able to get much sleep since I've been studying all night for an exam." I listened keenly, letting Starlight vent her stress to someone that would listen. "And then some jerks dumped a tub of slime on me yesterday, too!" I had been gripping the stool I was sitting on when our conversation began. I felt my nails dig painfully into the wood. "But I've had some ups and the late-night studying's been worth it, I'm the top of my class and my roommate's not that bad..." slowly, ever so slowly, Starlight's voice became louder and louder. Soon, it was the only thing I could hear, everything else slowly turned into nothing but an irritating white noise.
Starlight had my complete and undivided attention. She knew I was listening, even if I wasn't responding in any way or even nodding to anything she said. "...I never really thought I'd be studying to become a counselor." Starlight rubbed the back of her head, minding her beanie.
My small, content smile never changed. "You'll be great at it," I said. "I know you will." I wanted to reach out to her, to give her an encouraging hug, but the dark metal bars keep me from doing that.
Starlight blushed at the compliment, looking down bashfully with a her trademark, lopsided smile. "Thanks, Ebony." she looked back at me. "It's always nice talking to you, I know it probably sounds insensitive, but it's really nice when you can just talk about anything and everything with someone." Starlight's expression turned pensive as she looked down. "Ebony, I –" Starlight was cut off by another voice. She looked towards the owner of the voice.
"Ms. Glimmer." it was the red-skinned woman from earlier. "I'm afraid visiting hours have ended, I'll need to escort you out." Starlight looked back at the floor at her feet, a downtrodden expression on her face.
"Okay –" Starlight stood up from the chair that was placed near my door for her, she looked at me "– I'll see you this weekend, Ebony. Take care." I didn't respond as Starlight walked out of my sight.
"Take care, Starlight!" I called out to her, I wasn't sure if she heard me. I was never sure of anything that wasn't a painting.
I felt a sadness wash over me. I hardly got to see Starlight, and it always ate at me whenever she had to leave looking so dejected.
But as quickly as the gloomy feelings came, they were replaced with anger. That damn red-skinned bitch. If she wasn't so punctual, then Starlight and I could talk for at least a few extra minutes. Starlight does come early on the weekends, but the middle of the week seems to be when she need's someone to listen to her plights the most.
I stood up from my stool, knocking it over. I grabbed and with a bound, threw it at the wall! I watched as the wooden stool smashed into splinters against the concrete! "Damn it!" I shouted in rage, at destroying my stool and Starlight having to leave too soon.
"Is everything alright in there, Jacket?" a new voice, calm and methodical. I looked up through the still-open hatch. It was Dr. Horse. I knew why he was here, and looked down as a result.
It's that time again. "Mostly..." I trailed off. "Starlight just left," I said.
"Ah, your cousin," he said. "I walked past her and Nurse Needle on my way here." he sat in Starlight's chair. My temper flared. "Is that why you shouted 'damn it'? Because Starlight had to leave?" I didn't respond, just nodded. "It's understandable, no one else comes to visit you of their own volition." Dr. Horse let out a sigh. "Anyhow, I'm here to give you a new type of medicine." I glanced up slightly and watched Dr. Horse set down a small, see-through bottle. It had a simple label that told you the name of the medicine, what was in the medicine, what it would do, and what ODing would do.
The medicine in question were small, black pills.
I didn't like the look of them and tore my gaze away. "You'll be taking one of these every six hours while you're conscious," Dr. Horse explained.
I didn't want to ask it, but it was causing a lump to form in my throat, it felt like I'd choke if I didn't say it. "What will it do to me...?" I asked silently, fearing the answer.
"The medicine is designed for special cases, such as yourself." Dr. Horse paused, I heard the sound of something light and made of paper being placed on the tray under the conversation-hatch. I heard water fill a cup. The opening of the food-hatch told me everything. "It's to help with your ASPD and the other... problems."
She always said not to take the medicine, but I never had a choice, they'd make me take it one way or another. I idly scratched the band-aid on my right forearm, under my paint-stained sleeve. I watched as the food-hatch opened and in slid a paper cup full of water.
I grabbed in it a shaky grip and looked inside. The black pill was in the water. I brought it to my lips and gently tilted my head back, drinking the water and, eventually, swallowing the black pill. There was no going back, She had shown me how to throw up by tickling the back of your throat with your hand. But they always knew when I did, so they'd just inject me.
I set the cup on the tray and Dr. Horse pulled it back. I looked back at the floor. "Very good, Jacket," Dr. Horse said, a happy tone to his voice. "If you keep taking your medication like that, you'll be out of here in no time." I heard Starlight's chair scrap against the cement floor, I clinched a fist in response. "Take care, Jacket, I'll be around in a few hours to check your condition." he walked away.
I stood up from my stool, turning to walk back to my metal easel, taking my stool with me. Half way to my escape, I heard the door behind me open. Turning, I saw the only other person I was ever genuinely happy to see.
I smiled at her and continued to my easel, setting the stool down in front of it and sitting down. I knew what I wanted to paint. Taking my one of my many brushes and setting all the colors – except red, black and white – onto the floor, I replaced the previous painting with a fresh, blank canvas and began painting a dark field.
I heard movement behind me before it stopped near my bed. She wouldn't bother me, she never does.
Slowly, gently, I began adding more darkness to the white canvas, leaving a white circle near the top for the moon. Then I began adding the red, using it to draw people and puddles.
Switching brushes, dipping the brushes and gentle strokes. The painting slowly took on the appearance of a field covered with bodies. One person was standing in the center, under the moon and holding a long rod, the character was staring straight at me.
With a final stroke of the brush for the tall tree on the left of the canvas, I finished the slaughter field. I stared venomously at the painting, all it did was remind me that Starlight had too leave so soon when she had so much she needed to say.
I set my brush – along with the other brushes – in a jar of dark, red water. I stared at the panting for a few more moments before I turned to my bed. Much to my discomfort, She wasn't there, wasn't sitting on my bed, waiting for me to finish my latest painting.
I was confused for a short spell, but tried to not let it bother me. She did strange things, and just vanishing was one of them. Turning back to the painting, I gazed into it, allowing it to consume my vision.
A few moments later, I noticed something. At least, I think I noticed something. The painting looked... muted. It seemed like it lacked the vibrance it had earlier.
I frowned, did my painting always look like this? I couldn't stop the wave of encroaching sadness...
I was a failure. Even when it was something I'd been practicing for years. I never had an interest in anything, but then I discovered painting during art class when I was child. I immediately fell in love with painting. There was nothing like it's concept; creating a whole world with every stroke of the wrist.
But to finally realize that – even after years of practice – my paintings lacked the vibrance of life, was crushing the soul I wasn't even sure I had.
I dropped my head in my into my hands, tears silently pooled in my palms.
Three days later
I felt drained. In the corner of my eye, I glimpsed one of my "paintings". I flinched and curled up more in the corner.
I tried telling Nurse Needle and Dr. Horse, but they just ignored my questions. So I just gave up, and decided to wait for Starlight to come.
In that time, the "paintings" started to hurt to look at. It was hard hiding from them, I first tried staying in bed, but I was always forced out of bed by Nurse Needle.
It didn't matter anyway, yesterday, the "paintings" started hurting me just from being near them. My heart felt like it was trying to get out of my chest.
The walls felt like they were encroaching on me, trying to smother me and crush me. I involuntarily curled up even more, the muscles in my back straining as I forced them to hold. Blood rushed through my ears as my heart began to pound–! "Ebony?" a voice called out against the blood. "Are you there?" shakily uncurled from my fetal position in the corn, and crawled towards the door.
The ceiling above felt like it was slowly dropping on me, and despite how greedily I sucked in the air, it felt like I was suffocating. "Ebony? Are you alright?" I heard the voice call, beckon, me.
There was an other-worldly resonance coming from the voice, and felt as though reaching it would take all the bad away.
I dragged myself up to the door to the bottom of it's heavy, wooden body. I began to drag myself up it, the weight on my back made standing impossible.
Half way up the door, my fingers felt raw and I think I can blood. "Ebony?" the voice called again. Reaching the lip of the barred opening, my hand wetly latched on, electing a squeak from the owner of the voice. I pulled myself up more until I was on my knees. I could just barely see over the edge of the talk-window.
On the other side was the one person I wanted to see more than anything. Starlight. "Ebony!" she let out a relieved sigh. "Oh, that's a relief, I almost thought they moved you out last second right there." her face turned to worry. "Are... are you alright, Ebony? You don't look well," Starlight said, concern lacing her vocals.
I just knelt there, staring at her, the teal streak in her hair was missing. A dry, painful smile stretching across my face. "Starlight..." I whispered. "I'm so glad to see you, how have you been...?" I asked, my voice raspy and airy.
Starlight's eyebrow scrunched up. "Ebony, do you want me to get Nurse Needle or Dr. Horse?" she asked.
I did my best to ignore the pain that flared from my arms and the red paint that seeped in form the walls. I felt my smile fall.
I looked down and shook my head. I tilted my sight back to her face.
Starlight's face spun through a myriad of emotions, but the most prominent was I saw concern and fear. But, her face finally settled on sadness. I think I knew what to say. "...It's okay, Starlight..." I let go of the lip and slide down the door, blood trailing my fingers.
The last glimpse I saw of Starlight was her flinching.
I pushed off the door and fell back onto the floor. The weight of the ceiling was gone, there was no pain in my back.
My heart didn't hurt, neither did my fingers. Seeing Starlight always helped.
I love Starlight. I couldn't have asked for a better person to love me...
My eyes burned holes in the ceiling, the black splotches warped and twisted. Was my vision swimming?
A yawn forced my jaw open, I guess going to the door was more exerting than I thought. I didn't fight the encroaching darkness, I opened my arms and embraced it.
Inside the darkness, I could see a myriad of things. I could see worlds, colors without names, people I loved.
I was safe in the darkness; no bad children, no mean people, no nurses, and no doctors.
But the darkness didn't have something that the light did: Her, my paintings, my stool, my parents, and finally, Starlight.
But, She hadn't been seen for days at this point. Had she abandoned me? Where was she? I missed her, did she miss me?
I don't know what anyone's thinking anymore... Maybe it'd be better if I–
"Hey, Ebony. If you're going to sleep the day away, then shouldn't you be in your bed?"
My eyes opened.
Author's Note
I don't think I was able to deliver the detachment from reality very well, nor the relationship between Starlight and Ebony. What do you all think?
