Author's Note
This is hopefully one that will make someone laugh.
Bob the Awakened
Discord was bored.
He’d been bored for a hole 5 seconds and couldn’t think of anything to do. He really wanted to cause some chaos but couldn’t think of anything he could do.
He pondered why purple looked so much like the color neon yellow before snapping his fingers in realization “I’ve got it I’ll bring a human into Equestria! ” he grinned to himself for a few minutes.
That grin sadly disappeared to be replaced with a frown before the Lord of Chaos shook his bearded head. “no no no that wont to at all” he said frustratedly.
“pretty much all the fimfiction writers do that no mine needs to be new it needs to be surprising it needs to be-“ A lightbulb blinked on above his head and discord snatched it and took a bite out of it before tossing it into a garbage can in the shape of twilights head attached to the ceiling “I know what I will bring.”
* * *
Bob was a platypus and he was not happy he hated his home which was a glass cage in a zoo in Australia and had people come and take pictures of him.
He hoped the food-stained, obnoxious screaming, always complaining creatures known as children fell in a well somewhere and drowned so they couldn’t tap on his glass.
He just wished he could be anywhere else, anywhere would be better than this play with its boring clear glass and terrible neighbors like Andrew the iguana or Karabai the 2nd most loved gorilla.
Oh, how he hated it here if only he could be free of this place.
And with a warped popping sound and the music of an ice cream truck, he was.
* * *
Lyra heart strings was your everyday pony she had a nice job and lots of friends. Lyra turned the corner of the street and noticed a crowd curious she walked closer
“what is it?”
“Is it alive?”
“why does it have a duck bill?”
“Can it talk?”
“Is it friendly?”
“why does it have a duck bill?”
“Oh no it's looking at me!”
“Everypony panic!”
“Why does it have a duck bill!” was what the last pony to run shouted.
Lyra was worried about what could it be, was it some monstrous creature with tentacles and hippo feet?
Lyra paused ‘why had she thought of that it clearly was not it looked more like a furry mouse duck if anything'
Then she saw it and gasped it was . . . Adorable!
“aww aren’t you a cute little guy.” She stretched out her hoof to pet it.
Bob would not stand for that he'd already seen the children poking the glass and screaming at him to do something, these pony creatures seemed almost as bad so he whipped around and stung her with his stinger.
Lyra screamed in pain at the small duck mouse thing and turned around and ran to find help from this monstrous creature.
* * *
Celestia was enjoying her third quintuple-layer double chocolate wedding cake when the letter from Twilight arrived in the form of dragon fire.
She opened it and read it 'Hopefully not another one of those silly friendship reports' the thought.
Her eyes slowly rose higher the longer she read and at the end, they were as high as possible. Standing up she looked sadly at the 6 and a half-wedding cakes that she had yet to eat.
“I guess I can’t finish the rest of my snack for later,” she said sighing in pure despair.
* * *
When Celestia got to Ponyvill she saw what she had feared the small creature her student had described was on the street.
She moved forwards and cleared her throat. “excuse me sir but you are blocking the street” she said sternly but not in an unfriendly tone “would you please move?”
Bob did not more why would he this mortal dared to tell him what to do from what the other equines had reacted they clearly thought him a god.
Celestia worried the creature was hard of hearing decided to try again. She leaned in to speak louder only to be slapped in the face by Bob's tail.
She stumbled back before a look of anger crossed her face “there will be consequences for your act of war!” she declared.
Bob didn’t care he would just sit here and cause as much frustration as people had him. He felt good.
The end, or not.
It had been about a week since Discord had sent the platypus into Ponyville to make some funny, yet painless chaos. "I mean its not like that wonderful creature could have caused a war or anything." he said to all you nice people reading this story "I mean its not like the title of this chapter is foreshadowing what's to come, nah" he then created a portal leading to the town that housed the main six.
"ah so what chaos did my little friend ma- oh my Celestia!" Discord exclaimed staring in shock at what was before him. Ponyville lay in ruins ponies lay on the ground with ketchup sprayed all over their bodies and tongues hanging out of their mouths.
There was even a broken tank laying on its side which was the weirdest of all considering that ponies hadn't even invented guns yet.
But non of that was what caught Discords eyes, what really drew his attention was the lone platypus sitting upon a golden throne. To his right was princess Celestia and Cadence, and his left was Twilight and Luna.
'Ah if it isn't the Lord of Chaos himself' Bob thought to Discord
Said Discord blinked slowly "I-I'm sorry but did you just try to talk to me in your mind?" He asked.
'But of course you are the only one here that can understand the voice of conquerors after all' Bob replied 'and from what I have learnt from the others is that you are most likely the one responsible for my being here.'
"Well I'm glad you liked it" Discord said hesitantly "now if you don't mind I'll just snap my fingers and send you back to whatever happy little home you were in before"
If a platypuses eyes could widen Bob's would, 'no! you will never return me to such a horrid place!' He though angrily.
He then flicked his tail slightly and the main six stepped forwards without hesitation.
"Wait what are you doing?" Discord asked worriedly as he spied the elements on the bearers necks.
'You will never again be able to send me back. ' Bob said smugly 'When you return maybe we can talk about your servitude' and with another flick of his tail the bearers fired a blast of rainbow light Discord became nothing but a lawn ornament.
As Discords mind faded into white the last thing he heard was Bob laughing.
The End
Author's Note
Well I hope you enjoyed my first story I was going through some of my half thought out ideas and found this unfinished relic of about 2 years so I decided to polish it slightly and toss it out hope you enjoyed it.
If you did maybe give it a like, if not please give me a reason below so I can correct my mistake I appreciate any feedback.
Tank you, and God bless you.
