What about Boulder?

by Petalled

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Mud Briar, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2180

Have you ever wondered why Maud hasn't chosen Boulder as her coltfriend?

It is very unlikely and inconsiderate of Maud to not choose a rock as her coltfriend. Even she knows that rocks are sentimental. What if Boulder is actually heartbroken and jealous about her new coltfriend?

Although, Boulder does have Twiggy but what if they don't like each other in that way and instead like their owners?

(Btw, this is all a joke so don't take it seriously.)

Published 2021-04-18 20:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-18 20:00:00 UTC

Boulder might be heartbroken!

Author's Note

Ever since I came back to the fandom and started watching My Little Pony again, I wondered why Maud's coltfriend isn't a rock. This is very inconsiderate and unexpected of her and even she knows that rocks are sentimental. What if Mud Briar has put her under a love spell? At least, that is what Pinkie Pie thinks. But it is stupid, I mean he is not even a unicorn! Or what if he had required some help from...?

Boulder might be heartbroken!

''Hey, Maud! May I ask you a question?'' asked Rainbow Dash, having a red party hat strapped to her head.

It was Mud Briar's birthday and he was on the ground enjoying the party with his marefriend. He was sitting at a table with her in front of him, until a rainbow mane blue pegasus approached him and slipped a question through her lips.

''You just did,'' Maud said in her monotonous tone.

''Okay,'' Rainbow Dash spoke as she rolled out her eyes. ''May I ask you another question?''

''You just did,'' Mud Briar said in his monotonous tone.

She groaned in annoyance. ''Oh for Celestia's sake! Maud, my question is why is your coltfriend not a rock?''

Maud slowly raised an eyebrow. ''What do you mean?''

''I mean you are into rocks,'' she explained. ''You talk to them, learn about them, bathe them, eat them, clean them, whatever you do with them! My question is why isn't Boulder your coltfriend?''

''Silly, Dashie!'' Pinkie Pie chimed in. ''Just because Maud is into rocks doesn't mean she has to date them! That would just be silly and you know I only invent silly things.''

''Technically,'' said Mud Briar, ''she is not into rocks, she learns about them so I guess you are partially correct.''

Trixie trotted towards them with a slight chuckle. ''Rocks don't have bodies or feelings, Rainbow Dash.''

Mud Briar and Maud widened their eyes in shock. Pinkie Pie gasped dramatically as if they all had heard something offensive. Hearing her say that sounded like poison to their ears.

''How could you say that?'' asked Mud Briar. ''Rocks have feelings too!''

''Yeah, Trixie!'' Pinkie Pie agreed. ''How could you say that?''

''What?'' Trixie chortled. ''If they have feelings then why didn't Maud pick Boulder? He might feel heartbroken or either somewhat jealous.''

''Boulder has Twiggy,'' Maud answered tediously and softly smiled at Boulder on the ground playing around with Twiggy.

''What if they are not romantically in love?''

''You have no idea what you are even talking about,'' said Mud Briar, ''because you don't have the same ability to speak with sticks and rocks like us.''

Maud picked up Boulder and drew him closer to her ear. ''Are you having a great time with Twiggy, Boulder?''

''Twiggy said yes,'' Mud Briar answered.

''And Boulder said yes,'' Maud added.

They both placed their pets on the ground again and smiled at them.

''How do you know they said that?'' asked Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow.

''As I said before,'' Mud Briar explained, ''we have the capability to articulate with sticks and rocks.''

''Fascinating,'' Twilight marvelled. ''How many years did you do to learn to understand them?''

''Twenty years,'' Maud answered bluntly. ''Although, we were born to have this ability.''

Twilight gasped. ''This is so interesting! Please tell me more!''

She levitated a notebook and quills. She yelled out for a purple dragon with green scales to come with a stash of scrolls, inks and quills.

Maud blinked. ''Let's start of with the basics, there are three different kinds of rocks: igneous, sedimentary and metaphoric. Boulder is a magnesium-rich basalt and that is in the igneous rock section category.''

The rock couple continued blabbering on about rocks and sticks to Twilight, whereas Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Trixie slowly trotted away from there quietly.

''Phew,'' Rainbow Dash uttered. ''That was a close one. How do you put up with them, Pinkie Pie?''

Pinkie Pie patted her on the head. ''They are my family, silly. Well, Mud Briar is going to be my brother-in-law in the future when they get married.''

''How do you know he will be marrying her?'' asked Rainbow Dash.

''Because Maud loves him!'' Pinkie Pie answered.

''I still think Boulder and Twiggy are inanimate objects,'' said Trixie.

Pinkie Pie gasped. ''How dare you say they are dead?!''

''What?'' Trixie uttered. ''No, I didn't mean it like that!''

Pinkie Pie turned away and trotted away from her with a huff. Rainbow Dash folded her hooves against her chest and shook her head.

''Shame on you, Trixie.''

Pinkie Pie bounced on towards her sister and her boyfriend again whilst lecturing her purple alicorn friend. As she stopped bouncing and came to a halt, they was a small thud underneath her hooves.

''What was that?'' asked Mud Briar, getting interrupted from his own lecture.

Pinkie Pie hopped off on whatever she had stepped on and widened her eyes in shock as she noticed what she just stood on. It was Twiggy and Boulder!

Mud Briar's and Maud's body froze into place and widened their eyes in shock, and so did Twilight. Pinkie Pie bit her lip and ducked her head in shame.

''I am sorry, Maud! I am sorry, Muddy! I didn't mean to!''

''Quick!'' Mud Briar exclaimed. ''Get them to the hospital.''

''But they are just inanimate objects,'' said Trixie.

''Now they are,'' he said, ''thanks to Pinkie Pie.''

Pinkie Pie's mane deflated. ''I didn't mean to!''

''Unlikely story,'' said Mud Briar as he placed Twiggy inside his saddle bag along with his marefriend. They both trotted away to the direction of the Ponyville hospital.

''Maud, wait!'' Pinkie Pie shouted. ''I am coming!''

''We all are,'' Twilight corrected.

''Why would you go to the Ponyville hospital for rocks and sticks?'' asked Trixie.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. ''According to Mud Briar and Maud, they have lives!''

''They do not!'' she argued.

''Do too!''

''Do not!''

''Do too!''

''Do not!''

''Do too!''

''QUIET!''

They both stopped and turned towards the purple alicorn who shouted. She sent them a glare before continuing to trot after the others. Rainbow Dash and Trixie trotted after her but still argued in a quieter tone.

''Are they going to be alright?'' asked Mud Briar, holding a tissue to wipe away water that was coming out of his eyes.

''I am not so sure,'' Nurse Redheart answered. ''We have to examine them to check if they have any broken bones.''

''Broken bones?'' Trixie repeated. ''They are just inanimate objects!''

''Shut up, Trixie,'' said Rainbow Dash.

Trixie sent her a glare which made her shrunk down to the ground. Twilight ignored them and stepped forth.

''Is there any way for us to help and save them?''

Nurse Redheart took her eyes away from the x-ray machine and looked at the ponies.

''I am sorry to say this but it looks like they are in a coma,'' she explained, ''no broken bones included.''

''No,'' Mud Briar uttered, quivering his lips. ''This is all Pinkie Pie's fault!''

Pinkie Pie ducked her head in shame. Maud laid an assuring hoof on her sisters shoulder.

''It is not her fault,'' said Maud. ''It was an accident.''

''You are right,'' Mud Briar spoke in a softer tone. ''I am sorry, Pinkie Pie.''

''It...it is alright, although I am sorry too.''

''Friends?'' he said while sticking his hoof out.

Pinkie Pie stared at it and smiled warmly as she shook it. ''Friends.''

''I have some good news and some bad news,'' the nurse interfered.

''What is the good news?'' asked Twilight.

''The good news is Pinkie Pie wasn't the problem causing this coma.''

There was sighs of reliefs across the room.

''What is the bad news?'' asked Rainbow Dash, eyeing her suspiciously.

The nurse bit her lip. ''The bad news is that they are in a coma because of some mental health issues.''

''I do not understand,'' said Mud Briar, ''and that is the first.''

''Doctor Hooves has contacted me that he had looked through their minds to see what they were fussing about and what they were fussing about was something you would not expect from them to think about.''

Trixie groaned. ''Just tell us already!''

''They are questioning their love life. They don't think they are the right ones for each other, in fact they think they have someone else.''

Pinkie Pie gasped dramatically. ''Cheaters!''

''No,'' the nurse said. ''Not cheaters, just confused.''

''When do you think they will wake up?'' Twilight questioned.

''In about a few minutes...''

She was suddenly interrupted by a beep on the heart rate machine.

''...Or about now since we have spent those minutes.''

Mud Briar and Maud stepped towards their pets and stroked them tenderly.

''Boulder,'' said Maud, ''tell me what is bothering you.''

She placed him near her ear. She widened her eyes at the unexpected news, and so did her coltfriend.

''Well?'' Trixie interfered.

''Twiggy said that her love life is,'' said Mud Briar, ''me.''

''And so with Boulder.''

Everypony froze around the room, except for Trixie.

''Hooray!'' she cheered. ''The Great and Powerful Trixie is always right!''

''What does this lead to?'' asked Pinkie Pie. ''That you two will break up and date your pets?''

''No,'' Mud Briar answered. ''We are going to have a gentle talk with them.''

One Hour Later...

''Twiggy says,'' said Mud Briar, ''she is fine with me in a relationship with my current one.''

He wrapped his hoof around his marefriend and stroked the stick.

Twilight sighed of relief. ''That is good.''

''What are you guys doing here?''

Everypony turned around to the sound of the familiar voice. They were met by a pink unicorn with a purple mane and cyan highlights. She was holding a plotted plant in her hooves that was wrapped in bandages.

''The question is,'' said Rainbow Dash, ''what are you doing here with a plant covered in bandages?''

''Well,'' Starlight replied, ''thanks to Trixie, she damaged Phyllis by throwing him inside a trashcan.''

''She did WHAT?!'' Twilight bellowed.

Trixie chuckled. ''You know what? I forgot I need to help some students at the school of friendship! Yeah, bye weirdos over inanimate objects!''

''You know?'' said Pinkie Pie. ''I have always wondered that maybe if perhaps Mud Briar has casted a love spell on Maud and that is why she is not dating Boulder or any type of rock.''

''Pinkie Pie,'' said Twilight, ''that is ridiculous. Mud Briar isn't a unicorn to do something like that.''

''But what if he used a specific pony for the job?'' she glared between Mud Briar and Starlight Glimmer. ''Or maybe created a love potion just like the cutie mark crusaders did with Big Macintosh and Cheerilee!''

''How dare you accuse me of such things?'' Starlight said, placing a hoof to chest offendedly. ''You know, just because I once enslaved an entire village, stole their cutie marks and replaced them with equal signs and perhaps went back in time for revenge and tried to stop the sonic rainboom doesn't mean I still do evil things! I have reformed for Celestia's sake!''

''Easy there, Starlight,'' said Twilight calmly. ''I am sure Pinkie Pie doesn't mean what she said.''

''And how dare you accuse me as well?'' Mud Briar spoke.

''Pinkie Pie,'' Maud sent a glare with fire in her eyes.

''Uh-oh,'' Pinkie Pie bleeped, getting out a tray of cupcakes from her poofy pink mane. ''I mean, who wants some red velvet jalapeño cupcakes?''

''Did you just get that from your mane?'' asked Starlight.

''Aw, come on,'' Rainbow Dash remarked, ''she has pulled much worse things from her mane before.''

''I have a whole tree house in my mane!'' Pinkie Pie pointed out. ''I let the cutie mark crusaders build it for me when they were hiding away from Applejack for eating her apple pie she was saving specially for herself, in fact I think they are still hiding in there right now.''

''Thanks for letting us hide in your mane, Pinkie Pie!'' Apple Bloom exclaimed.

''Yeah,'' Sweetie Belle piped, ''your mane is so big.''

''Can I get in there?'' Rainbow Dash pouted.

''Excuse me?'' an orange earth pony cleared up her throat and tapped her hoof against the ground while folding her hooves against her chest.

''Uh-oh,'' Scootaloo spoke. ''Now she found our hiding spot.''

''RUN!'' Sweetie Belle shouted.

And they did. Applejack ran after them with a shovel and an evil laugh.

Pinkie Pie sighed. ''I just hope they haven't found my secret stash of RariJack fanfiction.''

''What?'' Rainbow Dash uttered.

''Nothing!'' she exclaimed before zooming away.

''I thought it was only me who had a secret stash of...'' Twilight trailed off as she blocked her mouth.

''Secret stash of what?'' Starlight questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. ''Oh, yeah. I caught Twilight sneaking off with some fanfiction of you and Sunburst, or either Trixie, but she rarely ships you both as she knows that you are straight.''

Starlight turned pinker. ''What?!''

Twilight sweated. ''Oh, look at the time! I better get going. See ya!''