Battle of the Ballgowns

by The Blue EM2

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 5096

May Battle Commence!

Diamond Tiara has an unusual challenge for Scootaloo. Having learned that Scootaloo has no issue with skirts or dresses, she decides to challenge her to see who is the better princess. What follows is utter chaos in the wackiest contest this side of Manehattan.

Requested by Gauis Stephanus Caesar. Cover art by Lia Aquila.

Published 2021-06-07 13:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-11 13:01:13 UTC

Setting the Challenge

Scootaloo pushed open the door to the girl's bathrooms at the end of another day. It had been a pretty long one for her, and truth be told she found school pretty tiring. So many different things to do, with multitudes of subjects (the majority of which were filled with information she was convinced had no use whatsoever in the real world) and of course the extra curricular stuff, but the latter was generally the fun bit, unlike many of the lessons. Seriously, how often would she need to calculate the precise angle of a ladder with the hippapotamus below it? She was certain they just made half this stuff up just to annoy them and nothing else. Oh well, no use in complaining.

She continued indoors and walked over to the sink, her eyes peering into the mirror with tiredness. She could do with sleeping more consistently, but then again she had only recently gained a proper family, that of Rainbow Dash, and her life had improved considerably as a result. She turned the tap on and looked into the basin, a satisfied smile on her face as the water ran over her hands. That is to say, went over her hands and downwards. The water didn't squish her hands, because that would be weird and nonsensical, and we don't want that, eh?

Anyways, she was so lost in her own thoughts and focused on the situation at hand that she didn't hear somebody enter behind her. This person, however, had skill in being silent, despite wearing heavy boots that would make noise as they walked along, and were so quiet that, as I say, Scootaloo did not notice their entrance through the door with quietness. And they then stood there before choosing the opportune moment to speak.

And when they did, it was like a peal of thunder. "Well, hello there, Scootaloo."

Scootaloo jumped and nearly fell over, looking in the direction of the voice. "AHH! Oh, hi Diamond. What is it?"

Diamond Tiara snorted. "Oh, surely you must know. Remember when I challenged you to a bet, you lost, and that skipping rope business ensued? In the rain?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Well," Diamond Tiara replied, her face now shifting into another setting completely befitting of her true nature. "I hereby wish to challenge you to see who is the better princess. I have been able to secure a convenient place- my family estate- and there we can do all sorts of challenging things."

Scootaloo was aware this was probably a trap, but at the same time she had to uphold her honour. After all, who turns down a good challenge? "So, you wanna see who's the alpha princess, eh? Count me in. This should be fun!"

"Deal," Diamond Tiara nodded, and set off on her way, head in the air and looking slightly smug. "Watch you don't fall over or anything!"

"You may want to be sure you don't get dizzy!" Scootaloo retorted.

"Pahhh! Speak for yourself!"

Suffice it to say, Scootaloo had received some rather odd looks when she had relayed the news of this event to her family members, who simply sat there silent, trying to process what on Earth they had just heard been said. And when they had finally taken the opportunity to process what they had just heard, they were still extremely confused.

"So," Rainbow Dash said, "if I've understood this correctly, and correct me on any of this if any of what I'm about to say is wrong, but if I have understood this correctly, Diamond Tiara once challenged you to prancing about in the rain in a dress?" The emphasis she placed on the last word indicated how baffled she was by this revelation, and to be fare most of the others were.

"That's correct, and now she wants a second round."

Windy Whistles, who was yet to say anything the entire conversation, took the opportunity to speak up. "At her family estate? In the middle of nowhere?"

"Well, saying that her home is in the middle of nowhere is a bit of a stretch, it's just in the posh bit of town." Bow Hothoof shut his mouth when he saw his wife giving him her 'not helping' look.

"Yes. Her parents will be keeping an eye on things though. They aren't negligant, contrary to popular belief at school."

"This still leaves me really confused," Windy sighed, putting her hand to her forehead as she tried to process all of this. "It's not as if I have a problem with you dressing like that- which I don't- it's just that throwing yourself straight into this sort of competition without proper planning or thought will turn out badly. I should know, I did it a lot when playing sports when I was your age."

"What if it rains? Or there's mud? Or you fall and injure yourself? Don't you need medical staff?"

Scootaloo snorted. "Filthy Rich has an entire army of serving staff, including a medic. We'll be covered. For a second I thought Rarity was talking!"

Rainbow Dash sighed. "I'm reckless (sometimes), not stupid. There is a difference."

Keen to get things back on track, Windy interrupted the interruption with an interruption of her own. "What we want to say is if you feel as though you want to do this, we'll support you all the way. Just be careful. We'll want to be onside to monitor everything that's going on and ensure that everybody plays by the rules. Is that OK?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine," Scootaloo said, sitting back in a large chair that sat next to the window of her home, or new home, as it were. "I doubt anything dangerous will happen, though."

"You'd be amazed," Bow added, his first words since earlier in the discussion. "Strange things happen at the strangest of places, such as when it rained on our wed-"

"I don't think she needs to know that particular story!" Windy said quickly. "We need to prepare for this event, and be ready to do what we must."

Getting There!

The journey through town was a familiar on, even if it was a little boring. The same old buildings, houses, and other useful things continued to roll past the window, an eternal parade of generic buildings and the odd tree here and there. The entire place seemed oddly comfortable yet bland. Canterlot, after all, was like any number of small towns in the United States or indeed anywhere else, being built to a standard layout and with little varation between the buildings. The car was currently rolling through the main commercial zone, full of the usual shops and businesses, with Sugarcube Corner being an old favourite haunt of many of the students of the high school, and some adults popped in after work or during lunch to enjoy a drink or a bite to eat of food. But it was far too late, far too late for now anyways. There was no time to stop, and they had to keep rolling.

As the car rolled along boring streets and passed a park, Windy Whistles was one to suddenly speak with suddenness, shaking Scootaloo out of her thoughts and focusing her mind on what was actually going on around her, rather than the previous set of confusion she had been focusing on up to that point. "So, do you know what Diamond wants to do when you get there?"

"No," Scootaloo replied. Wisely, she had chosen not to travel in all the extra finery, and was dressed as normal for the journey over. "She did give me a vague timetable of what would be happening and when, though."

"Oh!" Windy said, focusing still upon the road, as indeed she should. "What was the timings?"

"Well, once we've changed, we should be getting started, and the proceedings will last approximately two hours, if I recall correctly. Then, once those two hours are up, we'll dry off, and get changed back, and then proceed back home."

Windy noted all of this in her head, it being irresponsible to write whilst driving. "Two hours from when we arrive. That works just fine." She then paused, though whether for dramatic effect or not was unclear, as this was a habit of hers whilst speaking. "So, any ideas of what challenges you'll be doing?"

"No. I get the impression it's all supposed to be a bit of a secret, to ensure I can't gain an unfair advantage."

"Please be careful," Windy said again, looking concerned. "I fear Diamond could try pulling a nasty trick. I know she's changed, allegedly, but just be careful. Keep an eye out for traps, tripwires, and other things that could hurt you."

"Got it," Scootaloo said, and hopped out of the car as it stopped at the gates. Had she tried to get out whilst moving, she would have gained injuries for no readily obvious gain, and then she walked down the road to meet her destiny. But not her unity or duty, as this is not Bionicle. And onwards she went.

Just out of town, about 5 miles to the south, lie a pair of large estates, each on opposite sides of the road. One of these estates was very large, at least 100 acres in total. It ran to the coast, and both east and west with green, landscaped gardens. In the centre of it all sat a vast country home, which was spread over 5 floors, and had more than 100 rooms, though nobody knew exactly why it had 100 rooms. This home and estate had belonged to an incredibly influential local family, there from Canterlot’s founding in the 1850s. That family had been the Milks, but now through marriage (which at times felt more like a business merger), the estate was now in the ownership of the Riches, who were somewhat ironically named until recently.

On the other side of the road, there was an estate of similar size, with an equally large house. This estate had been owned by another family, the Cheeses. Sadly, the last of their line, Gruyere, had passed away 20 years ago, and the estate had been purchased by the Steel family, a line of steel barons from the north-eastern United States. In both estates, there were large sheds, and workshops, and a railway line that ran from one estate to the other, running under the road via a great double track tunnel. It soared over bridges, and through sweeping curves.

But this railway was unusual. It was very small, as the rails were only 15 inches apart. This made it the smallest operating railway in California, but it was not always open. This is not that railway's story, however. Indeed, it plays no role whatsoever in our tale, and instead we cut to Scootaloo completing her walk down an extremely long driveway, lined with many trees that looked very old. The large trees were a pleasant sight to see, and Scootaloo imagined that in the days of yore, resting under their shade would've been quite nice. But she had no time to ponder over such nonsense, and soon found herself at the end of the path, facing the massive pile that loomed into the sky like a mountain. Naturally, Diamond Tiara was waiting outside, tapping her foot whilst Randolph, the family butler, had appeared with a silver tray, upon which a teapot sat, and two saucers and two cups.

"I see you made it!" Diamond said finally. "I thought you'd gotten lost in the trees!"

"Me? Lost? No way," Scootaloo said defiantly. "Shall we get moving?"

"Cutting straight to the chase, eh?" Diamond snorted. "My, my, we have quite the competitive streak, eh? Randolph, what's the weather forecast for the day?"

"The sun looks set to held, albeit with minor cloud and some small scatterings of grey skies," the butler replied, maintaining his composure throughout, not shifting a muscle. He seemed to be made of granite, much like everything else around here.

"Right then, I'll let you get changed." Diamond snorted to herself. "I've got this one in the bag..."

Author's Note

The driveway up to the mansion is loosely based on Oak Alley, a former plantation in Louisiana famed for its many trees.

Round 1

Scootaloo, sure enough, headed to the place in the mansion where she was meant to go. The interior of this place felt more like a castle than a house, with long corridors, tall walls with paintings on them (Scootaloo was convinced that the eyes on some of them followed her around the room as she walked, but this seemed unlikely) and some rather odd windows along the way with stained glass in them. Scootaloo found it all very peturbing, but she soon pressed onwards into the darkness and walked along more dimly lit corridors, shivering slightly until she reached the bathroom marked on the plan.

The bathroom couldn't have been more of a contrast to the hall that connected to it. Bright, modern, and airy, it was the perfect place to procedurally place perfect apparel. I know that doesn't quite work, but please bear with me, it was close enough. Anyways, the girl known as Scootaloo opened her bag and removed the truly marvellous garment she had been given not long earlier, and after ensuring that the coast was clear, the door was locked, and there was nobody looking in from anywhere, she swapped her clothing around.

I, not wanting to come across as weird and a bit off putting, will hereby skip the actual process of swapping from one set of clothing to another. Safe to say, the normal garments were now in the safety of a locker, and the new clothing looked to be in place. Scootaloo, for reference, and for those who are interested in the minute details of such things, was clad in a long blue dress with a floor length skirt, long sleeves with turquoise trim on the arms and bottom of the bodice, fabric connecting over the neck and to the top of her head with a silly hat atop that. Not a had. Because that wouldn't make any sense whatsoever.

Scootaloo checked everything was secure. In order to give herself a little bit of competitive chance (and avoid looking stupid) she had a pair of blue boots on underneath to help with some awkward terrain. True, the rules didn't say you could wear them, but they didn't say you couldn't wear them, and this was what Scootaloo was taking advantage of that very day. She smiled and checked herself over again. "Good, all looks to be in order," she said, and headed outside.

Diamond Tiara was waiting out there for her, and her approach was rather different. She wore a black and gold hoopskirt with a wide skirt and gold trim working down in a cascade pattern. The bodice was almost identical to that on the dress she had given Apple Bloom a while back, which was confusing, apart from the colour, and even had similarly configured sleeves and a hat as well (Scootaloo had no idea what it was called).

"Hope you can still walk under all that!" Scootaloo joked.

"Speak for yourself," Diamond Tiara smiled, moving effortlessly. "I'm used to this. I bet you're not!"

Alas, with all of that out of the way, it was time to move out and start the various challenges that were present for them to take on. The first of these concerned a strange thing lying on the floor, which was slowly coming into view as they got closer and closer and closer. The objects were, at last, soon much clearer as they approached whatever it was they were approaching (the sky was a rather curious shade of grey, which made everything a big indistinct to say the least). The terrain, consisting of rolling hills and a lack of trees, also made navigation a bit of an interesting challenge, especially when the two heading over it could hardly see their feet. At last, though, the duo arrived at their target, their destination, and were ready to take on the very first challenge that was set out.

Diamond Tiara indicated to a person who was watching from a nearby tower as an indication that things were about to begin. She then moved over to a coil of wire, and two things that were attached to both sides of the coil of wire that seemed like handles of sorts. She then proceeded to pick them up. "I believe you know what this is," she said to her adversary.

"Right, get the skipping ropes and be out into the rain," Diamond Tiara said. "Once you've repeated the rhyme once, you can come back in and warm up. OK?"

The three girls nodded and went outdoors, grumbling as they did so. "Remind me why Ah agreed to this?" Apple Bloom asked.

"We didn't agree, we lost a coin toss!" Sweetie Belle replied.

Once they were outdoors (the rain was lighter than anticipated), they got to work. Sadly, the exact rhyme has been lost to time, but the three did it. Scootaloo, to her surprise, found this whole endeavour oddly fun, and had a grin on her face whilst she did it. She even did it an extra time for luck before heading back inside.

"Yep! Repeat of the first time you got me to do this," Scootaloo nodded, with a smile. "Nice and easy."

"Somebody's confident," Diamond chortled. "Looks like somebody's certain of winning. You'd best watch out!"

And so, the rope was tossed, and off they went. Scootaloo suddenly realised she had an advantage. As much as not being able to see her feet was a pain, at the same time she had less weight to contend with. As it was, Diamond's heavy skirt made it hard for her to gain much lift.

Scootaloo, on the other hand, was bopping up and down with no difficulty as she recited an old rhyme she knew from the old days (and the one Diamond had specified anyway). "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hands and do a little shake!"

Safe to say, Scoots was the victor, with Diamond quite tangled up in ever sense of the word. "Right," she said. "Let's see you weasel your way around Round 2."

Author's Note

Round 2

After a short pause to rest, recuparate, charge one's batteries, and a myriad of other cliches that one can think of relating to the process of getting ready to do something again, the two competing girls were at last ready to get on the move again. Sure enough, with the weather thankfully holding above them, although the grey sky did look a little threatening to them, they moved off. Initially, at the start of that journey, the only sound they maintained was mostly silence, with only the occassional rustle of fabric audible as they went along. As you can probably guess, that was the fabric of skirts dragging along the ground.

As has been previously discussed, Scootaloo had the easier time walking, or so it seemed. She observed that Diamond Tiara seemed to be having a fairly easy time shifting the hoop she was wearing, whereas some difficulty was to be expected given the weight. The lighter breaths she was wearing may have had something to do with it.

"So, how long have you been wearing this stuff?" Scootaloo probed, naturally interested in hearing what Diamond Tiara's response to the question would be.

"Since I was eight, so I'm pretty used to it," the other girl replied, still with her skirt partially lifted to avoid it catching on any obstacles. "The weight isn't too bad when you know what you're doing, and besides, the width can be negotiated by knowing which doorways to use. The widest ones, in case you're wondering."

"It's a miracle you don't get stuck in doors!" Scootaloo joked.

"This one's only four feet. You should see mother's one. It's huge!"

Scootaloo made a mental note of the thought of Spoiled Rich wearing something like that, and dismissed it with a look of horror on her face. That woman could make any clothing look ghastly. "OK then, I just might. Apart from that, how are you walking so easily? I thought those skirts were pretty heavy."

Diamond Tiara laughed. "I'm doing what any sensible lady wearing one of these things does. I've got a corset on, which helps redistribute the weight and pressure, making it easier to walk. And before you ask, it's not on that tight, so I'm not having any breathing difficulties."

Scootaloo had no idea why she found this all so interesting, as she was a tomboy. But hey, maybe this was an alternate side to her personality that she could explore a little if she wanted to. Her mind was quickly turned to the upcoming struggle that the two would have in order to complete the next challenge. The Rich Estate incorporated a giant series of gardens into them, and these gardens had, landscaped into their structure, a long artificial trench. This was a leftover of construction work, and the trench had been landscaped to create a nice valley with two sides, with a river running through the middle that ran down to the sea. It was hear that the next challenge was revealed.

Or was it here?

I have reason to believe that, somehow, it was both. Oh well. It was time for the next challenge to go ahead, and what a challenge it was.

"So, I assume you know the rules?" Diamond Tiara said. "The rules of play, if you will?"

"No, actually," Scootaloo replied, looking along and desperately trying to stop her hat slipping off her head. "I assumed you were making this up as you went along, to be honest. It sometimes feels that way."

"Ha ha, very funny," Diamond Tiara replied. "So, anyway, a quick explanation. This trench runs for approximately 500 feet from end to end, which is probably a longer distance than anything in town. What we are to do is to run from one end of it to the other and see who gets their first. Who does wins the round, and then we shall move onto stage three, which will be the most challenging bit yet."

"What are we looking at in terms of terrain?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, the ground is mostly flat, but we have had some rain so it might be slightly squelchy here and there." Diamond Tiara looked down at the hem of her skirt and sighed. "Good thing this cleans relatively easily. So, anyways, first to the other end wins. Sounds good?"

Scootaloo grinned, looking forwards as she did so. "Bring it on."

"Competitive, huh?" Diamond Tiara said. "That's the spirit I like to see. And... GO!"

With that single word, precision timed for the purpose, both girls started moving forward. Owing to the weight and nature of her dress, it took Diamond Tiara slightly longer to get going. However, she was soon up to speed, albeit not as fast as somebody unencumbered as she was, the frame of her skirt swinging back and forth as she kept up speed. Interestingly, the weight was starting to pull her along somewhat.

Scootaloo, on the other hand, had a secret weapon up her sleeve. As you will probably recall from previous chapters, Scootaloo had elected to wear boots on her feet instead of heels. Not only was this because she was physically unable to walk in heels, constantly falling over the only time she had tried, but because she had anticipated a dirty trick like this. These boots allowed her to effortlessly grip the terrain, and she quickly made her way up the path and over muddy ground, the whole place suddenly being easy to navigate whilst Diamond Tiara had to dodge around unwanted things that could slow her down.

Scootaloo suddenly went off to the left, sliding down a pathway and sprinting along a crevice. This, however, brought her out at the other end of the trench, and she soon cleared the climb and exited out on top, before quickly hopping in the air. "Yes! I did it! Eat that, Diamond Tiara!"

"Excuse me?!" said an extremely shrill voice. Scootaloo turned around to see Diamond Tiara emerging from the climb, her face red, puffing and panting, and mud on her clothes.

New Discoveries

This, however, brought her out at the other end of the trench, and she soon cleared the climb and exited out on top, before quickly hopping in the air. "Yes! I did it! Eat that, Diamond Tiara!"

"Excuse me?!" said an extremely shrill voice. Scootaloo turned around to see Diamond Tiara emerging from the climb, her face red, puffing and panting, and mud on her clothes.

To say that Diamond Tiara looked a mess would be something of an understatement. As she should there (sorry, that should say stood there, please do forgive my shonky editing), she continued to puff slightly, a possible consequence of her choice of attire. As previously mentioned, her dress was now with mud upon it, as she had been going through a trench at a different pace to Scootaloo. She also looked a mess in that field, as her hat was missing and some of her jewelery was also misplaced (probably all the way back there in the mud). She glanced about and headed for a nearby tree, flopping down as best she could and spreading her skirts to prevent the whole lot flying up in her face. She looked at Scootaloo, her facial expression a distinct one of confusion.

"How did you get through the canyon so fast?" she asked. "There's no way you could have covered the ground that quickly!"

"You're forgetting something," Scootaloo smiled. "Well, two things actually. The first is that what I'm wearing is far lighter than yours, so I can run faster. I also don't have a corset on. Which makes breathing easier."

"That still doesn't explain your grip on the terrain, though," Diamond Tiara responded, trying to get some of the mud off her hem. "This'll take ages to get out, and the cleaning staff are currently on their day off!"

Scootaloo smirked, and lifted her skirt. Not in that way. On her feet were the boots, revealed for the entire world to see.

"What? There's nothing in the rules that says those were allowed!"

"Yes," Scootaloo responded. "But there also wasn't anything that said they weren't allowed either. So I figured I should wear them, giving me an advantage in that field as you know the terrain here. I don't."

Diamond Tiara sighed. "I really should word rules much more carefully," she said, and stood up, having given up with the mud. "These'll need cleaning, of course. Speaking of which, I have a challenge."

"Is this the third one?" Scootaloo asked.

Diamond Tiara pointed at the sky, which had turned rather ominous. Thunder boomed in the sky, and the environment was becoming slowly more oppressive. "I don't think we can do anything else outdoors, so the third section will need to be changed."

"To what?"

Diamond Tiara smirked, relishing the look on Scootaloo's face. "Whomever gets back to the house last has to wash them." With that, she suddenly blasted away with a boost of speed, laughing.

"You're on!" Scootaloo replied, and sprinted after her, determined to get there first.

It was now a few days later, and on a cold, wet evening, the wind howled. The rain poured and thundered against the windows and the shutters, and the sky itself was dark and grey, for it was completely full of clouds and rain (as, indeed, clouds are made of water). Rainbow Dash looked out of one of the windows at the weather, which was grim and not a lot of fun, and sighed. "This weather sucks," she sighed. "The rain means I can't go and do anything outdoors, and the lack of light doesn't help in that regard." She paused. "Mom and dad can't be having fun in this weather. Meeting outdoors in the rain can hardly be much fun. I suppose sitting here and staring at the rain isn't very productive, so I'll go and do something upstairs."

After all, those speedruns weren't going to run themselves, after all. She had a few times that she had her eye on beating, and certainly enjoyed the challenge of grinding for a record. The art of using hours to save a second was one she was very good at, and so she went up the stairs.

As she passed Scootaloo's room, she could hear her adopted sister clearly enjoying herself at something, and decided to check on her. When she entered, she saw something that surprised her.

She knew of her sister's fashion tastes quite well, especially the surprise revelation of a little while back, but she was rather surprised to see not one, but two dresses there. One of which was larger than the other, and a different design to boot. It looked like something a stereotypical princess would wear.

"You're really getting inta this, huh?" Rainbow Dash commented.

"Yeah," Scootaloo replied. "It's just fun to indulge in every now and then. Besides, according to Diamond Tiara wearing a hoop is quite a bit of fun. Speaking of which, the other one's for you."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Funny one, Scoots! Me in a funnel cake? Hah! That'll be the day."

Scootaloo looked at her flatly. "Dash, I'm being serious here. Rarity made it for you, to, and I quote, 'help that sportster discover her feminine side'."

"She's been trying to squeeze me into one of her dresses ever since I turned down the part of Belle when the school did Beauty and the Beast! That sort of thing's for Twilight."

"Well, she did put a lot of hard work into it, and I think she would appreciate it if you at least tried it on."

Rainbow Dash thought to herself. There was no harm in just testing it, and besides she'd just take it off the moment she put it on. Easy.

"Fine. How do I get it on."

"Walk over to the thing compressed on the floor and pull it round your waste."

Rainbow Dash did so, and as she did the frame popped out into a dome shape. "Seriously? This is about the girliest shape possible!"