Chapter 3: Seedy Places

Wheatgrass had insisted on paying me for the help with the spring planting. The only thing he insisted on doing himself was putting the seed in the ground. Apparently it was an Earth Pony thing, and I could feel something magic happening as the seeds fell in an interesting pattern. Casting an eye over the field, I suspected it was to do with soil quality. Perfect placement that would take much expensive research on a given plot, combined with not cheap GPS equipment wired to a planter capable of dropping seed on demand rather than in a generic pre-set spacing.

The next day, we finally had some time off work. Wheatgrass wanted to putter around the farm, but I was eager to check out the local town, Horsedale. Candy wanted to pick up some things at the market too, so I helped load her cart up with sacks of wheat and bushels of dried corn. The couple lent me a pair of worn saddlebags, and Wheatgrass pushed a small sack of coins into my hoof. "Payment fer all tha hard work ya been doin', you earned it." I couldn't turn him down-- no telling how long I'd be here. Not stuck, just not where I belonged. I thought, anyway.

The road was pretty empty, though we exchanged greetings with a few other ponies working their fields. Otherwise, we just chatted casually about small town life and what to expect a few miles down the road.

Just having it described to me wasn't like seeing a town made--and inhabited--by ponies firsthand. Firsthoof? The buildings were charmingly medieval for the most part, with a grain mill/storage by the railroad tracks, a lovely brick library, a general store, and a bar that looked like a saloon from the Old West. I helped Candy unload her wagon at the mill, then decided to wander about and explore sans guide.

The ponies were delighted to see a new face from out of town. Most folks about were earth ponies, though I met my first pegasus. Inky Quill was, naturally, the librarian. A mostly blonde pegasus, with black tips to her feathers. It was fascinating to see her use her wings like hands, the primary feathers actually flexing to help grip a book or quill. She set me up with a card and helped me with a few books on unicorn magic, Equestria lore, and a guide to the night sky of Equus. I was so ready to set my telescope up and explore new skies! I just didn't dare risk damaging the mirrors or lenses with clumsy hooves or telekinesis.

I'm pretty sure my browsing in the general store stretched the patience of the proprietor a bit. This was just like wandering through an antique store, and a drug store and a supermarket without a refridgeration section. I finally settled on some apples and pears, somehow fresh out of season, a small spool of copper wire, a couple bar magnets, and a few other bits and pieces, plus a sack of coffee beans. It took a good chunk of my coins, also called bits, but there were some things I wanted to try out.

And on that thought, a late lunch at the bar, assuming things were like back home! I wandered in, stepping to the side of the doors to let my eyes adjust before heading over to the bar itself. It seemed a bit quiet, the pale earth pony with a black mane looked me up and down while polishing a mug, an apron draped over his front.

"Hi! I'm Alex. I'd like, umm..." I looked around, spotted the scrawled menu on a chalkboard to the side. "A burger, double order of fries, and some cider, please."

The proprieter nodded. "Moe Cider. Sure. Seat. Eight bits."

Huh, bartender of few words. Ah, well. I settled myself into a sturdy chair and pulled out a history book. After a few minutes, it dawned on me that the saloon was a bit too quiet, just before several sets of hoofsteps came up behind me. Someone was doing their best to loom. Just in case, I flipped the book closed. Idly, I hummed a tune as I waited for whoever it was to make their point.

"Yer kind don't belong in here."

I Spocked an eyebrow. "Accidental interdimensional travelers?"

At the sound of grinding teeth, maybe I was a bit too flippant. "Unicorns, ya pointy-headed idiot. This here's an earth pony town, an' a earth pony bar."

I rolled my eyes, getting up to face the trio of ponies facing me. Rough-looking, and glaring.

"Seriously? In a land ruled by a freaking princess of friendship, you're pulling this crap?" In the back of my head, I was belatedly realizing the wisdom of Ron White: 'I don't know how many of 'em it would take to whip my butt, but I know how many they were gonna use.'

The next thing I knew, I was glad the door to the bar was a saloon-style swinging double door as I flew through it back-first, the air knocked out of me and hind hoof-prints on my chest. I skidded on my back on the dusty street, adding more wear and tear to the hand, err, hoof-me-down saddlebags I wore. That wasn't quite as bad as when the book I'd been reading sailed out after me, unerringly striking my horn and sparking agony as if someone had punted me in the family jewels.

Oww... colorful ponies and magic aside, this world was quite real, and actions had consequences. I gathered up the tatters of my dignity, the fortunately unharmed book, and made my way off to find a spot to read and enjoy some slightly bruised fruit for a lighter lunch than I intended.

***

My ears perked at the sound of footsteps, err, hoofsteps, and I lowered the book I was halfway through, a half-eaten apple still hovering by my head. Approaching was a tan earth stallion with a dark-brown mane, an honest-to-goodness white Stetson, a blue kerchief, and a vest with a star pinned on.

"G'afternoon. I'm Sheriff Gold Star. Been' lookin' for ya, heard you had some trouble at Moe's bar."

I blinked. The fellow was practically a caricature, but there was an aura of authoritative honesty about him.

"Er, yeah. I'm Alex Stone... there were three ponies that said something about the place being for earth ponies only, shortly before they literally kicked me out." My chest still had a slight ache from the bruising. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

Sheriff Star shook his head. "Nah, it's that Pipe Wrench and his two buddies that was in the wrong. A few ponies saw what happened and got hold of me and my deputy, Hiro Silver." He frowned. "The three fools had the nerve to brag 'bout what they did. Hope a day in lockup gets 'em to rethink how they treat ponies. Told 'em mebbe ol' Doc might not be so quick to patch 'em up next time they get a bit rowdy, too. Anyhow, I wanted to apologize for the kinda welcome you got, and hope ya give Horsedale another chance."

I gave him a smile. "Thanks for stopping by. I'm sure I'll be around. This is a pretty nice town, with a lot of decent people."

Author's Note

There always seems to be That Guy. Or Those Guys, in this case. And our protagonist gets a rude awakening from complacency.