Past Knights

knighty, our one and only true fagking, awoke on his floor. knighty obviously is much too poor to afford real furniture. Instead, he sleeps on a cardboard cutout of a bed. As usual, his 3.2 centimeter scrotum was raised, caused by what some may call, “morning wood”. His jean shorts and undersized black briefs were soaked with a white, sticky, salty, not-glue liquid.

“Mmm, sexy futa Twilight...”, said knighty, quickly realizing that he was no longer sleeping. He looked over at the warm body beside him. He looked down towards his boxers and gasped. “Poultron, wake up, something is wrong with my penis. It’s 3 centimeters larger than usual.”

Poultron awoke and flipped himself to face knighty. Inspecting knighty’s non-fat chode, he laughed.

“No, knighty, you have a boner. It is going to be okay. Just take your colon cancer pills.”

“Oh, uh, all right. If you say so.”

knighty struggled to stand. After 13 minutes of vigorous work trying to prop himself upright, he finally stood a mere 1.2 meters tall. knighty walked forth towards his bathroom, which was composed of a 5 gallon bucket for a toilet, a 5 gallon bucket for a sink, and a 5 gallon bucket for a bath tub. There was a small piece of duct-tape holding a broken piece of mirror to the uninsulated brick wall. knighty looked at himself and smiled. Despite his lack of social activity, he was the sexiest man he had ever seen. Aside from Poultron, that is. knighty reached down to the floor for his colon cancer pill bottle. He lifted it and rattled it next to his ear. There was no sound. Suddenly struck with fear, knighty unscrewed the cap and looked inside.

“EMPTY?!”, knighty screamed.

“Empty, empty, empty...”, echoed a voice from behind. knighty turned around. It was Poultron, who was laughing at the failure of knighty.

“Stop laughing! I could die! Who else will do your website development?”

“iloveportalz0r, of course! For, he is the greatest programmer on all of FiMFiction! At least, that I am aware of. I’m certain he has a much larger scrotum than you, as well.”

“This relationship is over. I’m taking your $3 and getting a pizza. If I die today, I will die full of delicious sausage.”

Poultron simply laughed and laid back down. knighty was out the door in seconds, in spite of his weight holding him back. He forgot to steal Poultron’s $3. Today will be a bad day for knighty!

knighty’s Journey

knighty walked out of the greasy, crusted establishment he called home. He looked back with tear filled eyes.

“I’ll miss you, Poultron. My chode will remain yours, forever.”

knighty lowered his head and looked toward the ground. Due to his weight, he walked much slower than the average human. He walked in the direction of the place no poor, fat man has ever gone: the not-ghetto side of town. He slowly entered the busy, overpopulated city as he watched it transition from a decaying ghetto to a beautiful, busy city with many great sights to see and many choices of places to go. But to knighty’s dismay, before he could reach a safe place, he was stopped by a tall black male who probably had a long, fat, black chode.

“yo ma niga u wana get hi i got some fresh lsd yo, free shit bruh”

“I... I have nothing to lose. I just lost my one and only true love.”

“niga im high as fuk i dont need no sob story u wanna hit or whut.”

“Uh... Sure. If it’s free.”

“yeh it be free, u dont think it b lik it is but it do.”

knighty gave the large man a blank look. The large man gave knighty a blank look. This intense, back-and-forth staring went on for only a few seconds. Finally, the man pulled a small pill from his pocket. The pill was white and round in shape, but it looked as though it had a dark, dirty coating to it.

“Give me the LSD.”

The man handed knighty a rock from the ground.

“NO! I don’t want that! Give me the LSD.”

“aight mayne heer, tak dat shit rite nao so i kno ur chill dawg.”

“CHOMP num num.”

“Give me the butter.”

The man gave knighty the butter.

“CHOMP num num. Welp, that was good.”

knighty turned around to leave, but was stopped by a blow to the back of the head.

“lol niga u aint goin nowhere lol”

This was the point when knighty started to feel the effects of the LSD. He fell to the ground. Turning himself over on his back, knighty noticed that the black man was no longer there. In his place was an angry, naked Futashy with a massive boner.

“lol niga ur gona get raped.”

“Oh, that is all? Okay.”

knighty promptly flipped over and removed his trousers, revealing his loose rectum and .2 centimeter fat chode. Futashy quickly rammed her large dick inside of knighty. knighty and Futashy both screamed in pure blissful ecstasy. Futashy inched out of knighty’s anus, which flexed as Futashy moved. Futashy quickly rammed herself in once again, her balls slapping forcefully against knighty’s as he howled like a timberwolf. knighty ejaculated purely from the feeling of the scrotum in his rectum. A familiar white, sticky liquid slowly poured from knighty’s fat chode. Futashy continued to ram knighty in the butt. knighty looked around while Futashy pleasured herself. Weird things were happening to knighty. Not only was he getting anally penetrated so hard that he would probably end up with a bad case of rectal prolapse, but dumpsters were talking to him!

“Yo, knighty. You wanna meet your heroine? I am feelin’ kinda sick.”

“Hell yeah, I want some heroin!”

“Nah nigga, the bitch you wanna fuck.”

“Oh, sure.”

The dumpster began to throw up wildly. Trash flew in every direction from the dumpster’s trash mouth. Finally, as the trash puke began to slow, Twilight Sparkle hopped out. She immediately trotted over to knighty, who was being penetrated much too hard to realize the gravity of the situation. Before knighty could release a word to the purple unicorn, Futashy slid her chode out of knighty and flipped knighty over.

“yo niga wat u want me to do, i ben fukin u a long time.”

“Hmm. Let me think about this.”, said knighty, as he looked around and pondered upon an idea. He looked at Twilight Sparkle, who giggled and whispered to him. Fat Chode.

“Oh! That’s it! Suck on my Fat Chode.”

“wateva u say bruh”

Futashy lowered her head to knighty’s Fat Chode. She opened her snout just wide enough to fit knighty’s Fat Chode into her mouth, and began with the tongue.

knighty continued to look around and noticed Twilight Sparkle again. knighty engaged in conversation with Twilight.

“Hello. Will you eat my socks?”

“Sure.”

Twilight trotted to the other side of knighty. She began to gnaw on his feet. knighty screamed in delight again, and released more sticky goo into Futashy’s mouth.

“now we both finished niga, and u got HIV. get da fuq outa heer faget.”

Futashy began to fade into a black man as knighty’s LSD trip faded with the wind. Twilight was gone in a matter of seconds, and the black man looked at knighty with the anger of 1000 celestes.

“get da fuq out or ima kik ur ass dawq.”

“Not today”, came a familiar voice. knighty turned around, and the black man looked up. It was Poultron, who was wielding two 9mm handguns. Within the blink of an eye, Poultron shot the black man twice in the dick.

“ow niga fuk u ima bounce u fukin weird.”

The black man ran away, leaving behind a path of red and white liquids.

“You came for me!”, said knighty.

“I did, quite literally.. Let’s go home.”

“Okay.”

“By the way, if I ever catch you letting any other man suck on your fat chode again, I will not come for you. Literally.”. Poultron winked, and helped knighty off of the ground.

“Let’s go home and make pointless changes to FiMFiction.”, knighty said.

“Okay. I love you, knighty.”

“I love you too.”

den dere was a loud boom and a rainbow was in da sky

also rainbow dash made it