*gasp*

You awoke with a start. You sat up and immediately started to take in your surroundings.

It was day time, that was good. You where in White Tailed Woods.

Thank fucking Christ in his heaven. You let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Its fucking over.”

You find Luna laying on the ground still covered in bruises. You crawl over to check on her. She’s fine, just asleep. A sense of relief filled your soul.

“Luna! Luna wake up!” You try and shake her awake.

You hear a twig snap behind you. You snap your attention towards the sound.

“Y-you? What? How-”

”So...this is where I sent you? Gotta say, it does look...nice.” The Real Anon stood there with a guilty expression on his face.

“What do you want? Why are you here?”

Real Anonymous looked at you with deep regret and guilt at first. But then, a small sad smile touched his lips.

”I...well, wasn’t expecting this. But I’m glad it happened. A part of me continues at least. I guess a new story for us?”

“What? What do you mean?”

The smile on the Real Anon’s face grew wider as he reached for his blindfold and finally took it off. His irises were the purest milky white. It was almost unsettling how it looked like he only had pupils.

”I’ll let you find out what I mean by your self. But, I can finally rest now. I don’t hurt anymore.”

“W-what? What does that mean for me then? Are you going to be staying here? Just give me a straight answer!”

He shook his head and smiled.

“Look just...Thank You, I can rest easy now, and you can go on and live a happy life, like we always wanted...just make sure you keep the bad side of us in check, please?”

“That doesn’t answer-”

”PLEASE?”

You were taken back by the sudden desperateness. You shook our head.

“I don't...yea, yea sure.”

”Thank you. Here, before I go, have this. You’ll need it.” The real Anon sighed and took out some object from his hoodie and tossed it to you.

You reached up a caught it. You turned it over and inspected it in your hands. A red pencil.

“I don’t understand...why would you-”

You looked up to speak to the Real Anon again, only to find that had vanished.

“What the...”

You scanned around the clearing. He was gone.

Luna mumbled and moved beside you.

”Ugh. W-wha? Anon? *Gasp* Anonymous! W-we’re back? We are in Equestria again!”

“Woah, woah Luna. Don’t move too much. Yes we’re back.”

”And you’re alright? Oh thank goodness!” Luna wrapped her hooves around you, bringing you into a tight hug.

You panicked a bit and had to position yourself so you wouldn’t put any weight on your broken leg, but once you found a good position, you returned the gesture and squeezed her tightly in a hug of your own.

The princess buried her muzzle into your shoulder, repeating over and over how happy she was that the two of you were finally out of that place and you were alright.

You held on to her, running your hand down her mane. You cooed to her, whispering that everything was fine now, and there was no reason to be afraid anymore. Both of you were safe. Finally.

”I think I heard it from over here!”

You looked up over the trees. Was that...that was Rainbow Dash!

”Hey! Guys, I found them!”

The pegasus swooped down into the clearing and was followed by the rest of her friends, minus Twilight and...fuck.

Celestia.

She approached you two, horrified by the conditions you two were in.

”Anon! What they HAY was that? You just ran out of the library screaming about not wanting help anymore and hurting others! Half an hour later we could hear a huge explosion from Twilight’s room in the hospital! What’s going on?” You just stared at Rainbow dash.

“Uhhh. I-”

”Oh my goodness! You two look hurt! What happened? Did a bunch of mean timber wolves attack you! Oh, you look worse than you did back at the castle!”

“Wha-, well, Fluttershy-”

”ENOUGH!” Celestia spread her wings and reared back.

That fucking Canrerlot voice as well. Nearly made you deaf. Celestia approached Luna, who was still in your arms.

”Sister? You’re injured! What happened?”

Luna tightened her grip around you, almost as if afraid something would happen to you.

”W-we were helping our Anonymous dear sister.” Celestia cocked her head in confusion.

”How does this explain your wounds?”

Luna didn’t answer her this time, she covered her face with her mane and went back to nuzzling into your shoulder. Celestia glared into you. It felt like she was staring into your soul.

”Girls...all of you fetch medical ponies to help Anonymous and my sister to the hospital to get their wounds treated.”

With a collective nod, the rest of your friends hurried off to go and fetch help.

”As for you Anonymous, you will be answering a lot of questions.”

You gulped. Luna glared at her sister from behind her mane, whispering something about what she’d do if she laid a hoof on you or something. You really were not looking forward to what Celestia had in mind for questions, nor what Luna may do if she didn’t approve.

~~

You stared at the white ceiling above you. This was it. This was possibly the end. At the very least of your freedom, for a while. You didn’t think Celestia would KILL you, or worse.

Hell even if that was what she had on her mind, you weren’t quite sure if she’d be able to succeed.

You were waiting now. In your hospital bed alone. Your friends visited you but then had to leave upon the request of Celestia, they were probably all in Twilight’s room.

They told you they found your journal, but it was empty, and there seemed to be nothing wrong with it. No more ponies being sucked in. Though Celestia refused to release it from her custody.

The last you saw of the Sun goddess, she entered your room and told you to “prepare” after she had dismissed the Elements. She’s visiting Luna now.

No doubt worried for her, it would explain her attitude and actions. You couldn’t blame her. You allowed Luna to go in and almost get ripped to shreds by…

No. NO, You can’t have those thoughts.

Should you though?

Your newly discovered wisdom of not trying to blame yourself and trust your friends was currently in a fight with your usual self blame and fear of dragging others down with you.

You just hoped Luna was okay. She didn’t deserve anything she went through, but because of her you managed to realize things about yourself.

It’s like you were blind before but could see for the first time!

…

Hm. Deja Vu.

You rubbed your hands down your face.

“The real concern is what Celestia will do to me.” You muttered to no one in particular.

The door swung open, the monarch breaching the entrance alone and shutting the door. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear in the form of horse princess.

You sat straight and tensed up. Celestia approached the end of the bed and stared into you.

Her face was stern and stoic, but you could feel the overbearing presence of authority in her eyes..

”Anonymous.”

You gulped.

“Y-yes?”

”Why does my sister trust you?”

“I...uhm, what?”

”WHY does my sister TRUST you?”

“Uh...I don’t...I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting a question like-”

Celestia sighed and dug her hoof into the bridge of her muzzle. She straightened her self one more and began to speak with a sense of authority and matter of factness that made you feel like you were on trial in a formal court.

”Anonymous, you appeared in our world without warning, it was my sister and co-monarch, Princess Luna, who had found you in a private section of our castle gardens covered in blood, and wielding a weapon, poised to attack. Anonymous, you are from a species while once though only to be mythical in our land, was still considered dangerous. Anonymous, you have been insistent on being difficult in giving us information that we desperately needed. Anonymous, you, to add on to the fact of with holding information, with held the important matter of fact that the journal you begged to keep as though your life were at stake COULD SUCK PONIES WITHIN IT AGAINST THEIR WILL. A journal Anonymous that once sucked in, apparently, did NOT have an effective means of escape from what ever horrors within that were so dangerous a goddess of the night who can raise and lower the moon with ease, almost faced certain doom on multiple occasions. A journal Anonymous that apparently has evils within it so dark and gruesome that both my sister and faithful student, who was also trapped within its bindings, refuse to speak on what exactly they’ve witnessed within the book. All of this done after we have given you the benefit of the doubt and trusted you because you appeared a distraught victim of circumstance. Plagued with nightmares and depression both my student and sister aided you with no other reason outside of their virtuous altruism and eventual compassion as friends. Two of the closest mares to you, were allowed to be sucked into your journal on separate occasions because of your negligence to to get rid of or hide it properly, or educate us as to why merely reading this book would bring a fate worse than death. A book Anonymous that is linked DIRECTLY to you on a spiritual and conscious level. Meaning all evil in that book came FROM YOU! I’ll ask you one more time Anonymous. Despite all of what had transpired, WHY. DOES. MY. SISTER. TRUST. YOU?”

You were at a loss for words. Celestia looked at you with expectancy.

Though her horn only came up to eye level when standing, from your bed she towered over you.

She was right. Everything that happened could have been avoided, if it not had been for your own flaws.

Luna’s trust did come into question. And you know about more situations, like Luna having to deal with both the real Anonymous and that horrible Shadow version of you. But how would you know such a thing?

“I don’t mean to avoid the question, your highness, but wouldn’t this be a better question for her instead?”

She sneered at you. You winced.

”I ask you this question for a reason Anonymous. My patience is running thinner.”

You twiddled your thumbs and looked down at your hands for a moment before answering.

“She...I think she trusts me because of all that we have in common?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“Think about it. From our talks, both Luna and I are...or were, lonely. We were disconnected from the others around us and have a troubled past. A part of us that we aren’t really proud to have. We both suffer over what we’ve done, and even if we have those willing to help and listen now, we fail to find those who would understand. Couple that with the fact we were both willing to listen to each other, probably because of those similarities, a bond formed from this similar experience.”

”So that is what you believe then?”

You furrowed your brow.

“Y-...No.”

”No? Anonymous I’m not in the mood for games.”

“No. No, because I don’t just “believe” that’s what’s going on! I know that’s the reason! You weren’t there when Luna finally found me in the book! Hell, you weren’t there when she was going through any of it! I get that you fear for your sister but she went through that, all of that, because she wanted to help. She begged me to let her help! After I warned her by the way! Which I did do. You were right about one thing though. I’m the idiot for not expressing this sooner. She poured her heart out to me on occasion in her dreamscape thing while I was too much of pussy to do the same. Even then she was willing to go through what she did so I’d get better. She…”

You paused for a moment as a sudden realization started to catch you.

“She was willing to literally walk through hell in back just to help me. And I tried to push her away initially...she fought to help me before even entering the book. I was so concerned about hurting others I didn’t give a shit about myself. Not knowing doing just that, I did hurt others. When she finally did find me...despite HER wounds, she was concerned about me.”

You sighed and fell back onto your pillow. There was a strange feeling in your chest, you’ve never felt it before. Though it warmed your cold heart. A very foreign feeling. The more you thought about Luna the more the weird feeling in your chest radiated.

You felt a flurry of weird warm chest emotions and feeling like a jack ass at the same time.

”I see. In any case Anonymous, whilst I have more questions for you, mostly regarding your book and what was inside. I must take my leave. I hope you make a speedy recovery, but you WILL be guarded, and will be prohibited from seeing my sister until AFTER recovery.”

“What? Why?”

”She has been through enough Anonymous. Both her and Twilight Sparkle and her friends. And until our interrogations are through, I can’t allow the risk of anything else happening. I have already informed the hospital staff. Once my sister is in a stable enough condition, she will be transferred over to the ward in the castle. You will remain here with a garrison however. I don’t think you are evil Anonymous. Just too much of a hazard to not be safe around.”

“Fine! You should take me with you then! If I’m such a hazard.”

”You ARE! And I shall not. I can not have you be close to Luna for now, and she must be in Canterlot.”

“Fine! Fine.”

You crossed your arms and looked out the window. Disrespectful sure. But what was she gonna do?

Kill you?

Pff. Beat you to the punch sweet heart.

Celestia glared at you for several more seconds before taking her leave.

Before exiting the door though she paused and looked back. In a stern tone, like a mother berating a child almost, she repeated her wishes of recovery.

”We DO hope you recover soon and well Anonymous. Maybe you and my sister can be friends in the future.”

She closed the door behind her. You snorted.

“Yea...magic of friendship my ass.”

You continued staring out the window, letting the soon to be setting sun to melt your lingering anger away. Replacing them with thoughts of Luna and everything she’s sacrificed for you up and to this point.

That warm feeling in your chest came back.

~~

You lie there in your hospital bed. The dark room slightly illuminated by the moon and lights of Ponyville. You couldn’t sleep.

You were tired. Extremely tired. However the sandman must have been having issues with pulling you into a comfortable slumber.

Something was just missing.

And not just your clothes minus your underwear. Thank god the docs didn’t need to take THOSE off.

You lazily gazed out at the streets of Ponyville. The Hospital being on a hill allowed you to take in its sites. You enjoyed the comfortable aesthetic of the wholesome and friendly town at night.

Those were the exact sights you enjoyed seeing so much. It’s why the head of your bed back home was right next to the window. There is something about a city’s skyline at night that was so comforting.

If it were raining, all the better. Though back at home it was just a small thing that distracted from your usual life. Something you took for granted.

You sighed and rolled your head over to inspect the ceiling. Counting all the tiny holes in the white cardboard tiles.

You’ve been wrestling with questions. As diverse as they were overwhelming. The question Celestia asked you. Her future interrogations. The well being of Twilight and your other friends.

Luna...just in general.

There’s that warm feeling again. That red pencil the Real Anonymous gave you too.

Well, can you even call him the real one? You never understood what Dr. Hill was talking about when he said shit about The Ego or the Self, or who ever the Jung guy was. You didn’t care.

This “Real” Anonymous wrote the journal. Wrote your story. But you were able to live outside of it. And he’s gone now. And the Shadow Anon?

Maybe you were all just manifestations of a singular part of a personality?

Man, fuck this philosophy bullshit. As if it matters...does it?

You were pulled from your existential dread by the sounds of hooves approaching your bedside. You shoot up to see who was approaching.

”Good evening...Anonymous.”

“Luna!”

The night princess shushed you, covering your mouth with a hoof.

”It is best not to speak with such a high volume, lest one of the guard outside the door hear us!” She whispered.

“Luna, what are you doing here? How did you get here?”

She allowed a soft chuckle to escape her.

”My sister thinks a few guards and a protective barrier can keep me inside my room. However she forgets that I still posses my wisdom of when she’d try to trap me in my room when we were foals.”

“W-well...still, why are you here?”

Luna turned her head away slightly and rubbed one foreleg with another.

”I longed to see you.”

She blushed and scrunched her muzzle.

“Well. Why didn’t you just visit me in my dreams?”

Luna composed herself and gave you a dead panned look.

”One must be asleep to dream Anonymous.”

“Uh. Right. Heh, woops.”

”Besides.”

Her blush came back.

”I wished to see you in a more...”genuine” manner.”

“You mean, in the real world?”

”The dream realm is as real as this realm Anon!” She spoke in a matter of fact tone.

”But yes, I did want to be...closer to you.”

“Well, why?”

”U-uh. Well. We both had just escaped the brutal world of your journal and I, uhhh, worried for your well being.”

She scrunched her muzzle again and stared at you expectantly. Her blush deepening.

“What would Celestia do if she found out though? She’d be livid if she caught the two of us in the same room.” At this Luna grew irritated.

“I refuse to dwell on what my sister’s opinion may be. It is none of her concern. I am harming nopony. And if she were to lay a hoof on you she’d face the consequences.”

“Luna, I’m fine, I don’t want to see you and your sister fight over this.” Luna’s irritation grew, but she let out a sigh and looked at you again with tired eyes.

”My sister will not punish you if I were to be in this room. I will make sure of that. Please Anonymous, I want to stay beside you.”

This took you off guard just a bit. You knew Luna had grown protective of you, but now it looked like she was close to begging to stay.

“I just don’t understand. I really am fine, the doctors are doing a good job. You don’t need to check up on me.”

”I-i’m sure the staff are excellent at their work. Still however, my mind would be a-at ease if I were to stay here and make sure.”

“I know. But we are in enough hot water as it is. I don’t understand why you would need to take such a risk to be here with me? Later, we could-”

”Anonymous I’m scared.”

You stopped. That was...unexpected. Her pleading eyes began to grow moist.

”A-anonymous, I’m still in shock over the trials in your journal. It is uncomfortable alone, and after what I witnessed happened to you within the journal I...*sniff*...Anonymous my mind betrays me by dragging itself back to that one occurrence. Not to mention having to see you hurt so gravely. I’m scared of what happened to me, and what may happen to you.”

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck why.

WHY did she have to bring up that?

You understood and should have expected it. And you’d need to explain the reality of it sooner or later.

You looked into Luna’s pleading eyes for a moment. She leaned in with an expectant face. You pondered for a moment.

Fuck Celestia. You could not blame her for her worry over Luna, or her lack of understanding that you DID in fact try to get rid of the book. Though you admit there could have been better ways of handling that. One of those diary locks maybe?

But you couldn’t watch one of the closest friend you have here suffer like this. You sighed.

“Luna. You can stay...but, I need to explain something to you first.”

You needed to say this though.

You watched Luna’s face beam with excitement for half a second before dropping in worried confusion.

”W-what is there to explain?”

Your gut twisted. You cringed at the reaction.

Luna was probably worrying herself to death over you for a long time before seeing what she did. While you’d love to lie to her and say what she saw was just to scare her…

“It was real.”

”W-what? What was real-”

“What you saw Luna, was real.”

”W-w-what do y-you-”

“That actually happened Luna. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

You weren’t looking at her anymore, you just stared at the sheets on her bed. But you could almost feel the wet tears in her eyes. Her voice shook and stuttered.

”Y-you...no, you are here. You are h-healing, I c-can feel you-”

You wrapped your arms around her neck, attempting to pull her in for a hug when she pushed away and placed her hooves on your shoulders.

”N-no. You’re real and talking to me. How could that have been real if I am touching you?”

Her voice began to get a little louder. A noise outside, probably the guards, made the both of you flinch a bit. After a few stressful seconds of nothing happening, Luna turned back to you.

Worry and distress poured from her eyes with her tears. You reached up and placed a hand on one of the hooves on your shoulders.

“I’m not sure. Yea, I can get hurt, I can talk, others seem to see me. And at first I didn’t believe it either. But...”

”But?”

“Luna, I don’t mean to scare you or upset you more than you were a minute ago...but I needed to tell you. I...really did kill my self.”

It probably took everything it had in her not to scream. Her face twisted in pain, she hyperventilated, the tears from her eyes began to soak through the blankets and wet your skin. She buried her face into your shoulder, grabbing your head and pulling it close.

Her pained sobs were made worse at her attempts to keep them quite.

She squeezed you tightly as you hesitantly returned the gesture.

“H-hey. Luna, I’m still here, it’s all going to be okay.”

All the mare in your arms could do is whisper inaudible questions as to why that had to happen to you between her sobs. She let out loathing whispers to the idea you thought your life was bad enough to end it.

She expressed in depressing whispers how she couldn’t understand why you would do such a horrible thing to yourself. Her body began to move awkwardly

You peered down at her hooves. She was continually shifting her hind legs as she leaned into you as she cried. An idea popped into your head. An idea that made you blush slightly.

The warm feeling in your chest came back.

“Luna? Hey, look at me.”

For a moment, she ceased her tears and looked up at you with pitiful bloodshot eyes.

“Do you want to...lay in the bed next to me? Like...under the covers?”

Like under the covers?

Jesus, you awkward motherfucker. First you confirm her worst fears to be true, and then you-

”I...I-i...*sniff* Yes. I w-would enjoy that immensely.”

Huh. Well...it worked. Awkward but...it worked.

You pulled up your blanket as Luna climbed into the bed and underneath the warm cover with you. She wrapped all her legs around you and stretched her good wing around the both of you. She placed her head right next to yours. Her muzzle just underneath your jaw.

Her soft coast brushed up and tickled your bare skin. She was so warm. She pulled you in close, sniffing and wiping away her tears from her grief.

Your heart was beating at a million miles an hour. That warm feeling in your chest was burning now. You stared vigorously at the ceiling above you.

But at the same time you felt an odd calmness. A very comforting and sweet feeling, completely alien to you. You’ve hugged her before, you’ve hugged other ponies before.

But some sudden realization made it different. Some change in context. Like a shift in your relationships made you feel very close to her in some way.

Luna must have noticed this. The beating in your chest was very audible by this point.

”Anonymous?”

She nuzzled into your cheek to catch your attention.

“Y-yea?”

”I-I love you.”

You turned your head over to meet hers. The very next thing you did shocked the both of you. Now having no control of your body, you leaned in and placed a kiss on Luna’s lips. Though in shock at first, Luna graciously returned the gesture.

You were freaking out in your head. This was so weird. The embrace held for several long seconds before broken. The both of you stared into each others eyes, unsure of what to do next.

Fuck it. Who cares if this was weird? You were in a land of magical talking ponies.

You are just a manifestation of a personality probably.

You managed to trap two of your friends inside your journal.

You had to fight a bunch of nightmareish monsters.

THEY had to fight a bunch of nightmareish monsters.

YOU BLEW YOUR OWN BRAINS OUT AND ARE STILL WALKING AROUND! YOU’RE DEAD PROBABLY!

Yea, who cares if this is weird. Out of all the weird things, being in this warm bed, right beside this mare, this princess of the night, it felt right.

It felt good.

And God in heaven knows for a fact feeling anything good just isn’t something that happened to you very often.

You leaned in and gave Luna another kiss, which again she returned.

She placed a hoof behind your head, and you cupped her cheek with your hand.

Both of you embracing each other warmly, allowing any outside stressors to melt away completely.

All that mattered to either of you was the other, right now, in this moment. Both of you fell asleep that night in a loving embrace.

~~

You stared at the empty book in front of you. You clinched the red pencil in your hand, knuckles turning white. You let out a deep breath. It has been two months since the incident.

Two months after Luna had delved into the darkness of your book and had to relive a story meant only for you.

Here now you sit in her chambers, only one thought on your mind. You were about to take one of the biggest chances in your life.

There was a compulsion in you though. A great need.

A queer libido to write these things down. You don’t know whether or not the real Anon has anything to do with these feelings. This great desire only being held back by your hindsight and rationality. The last time you wrote down your thoughts you’ve managed to create a dark and horrible depiction of how the world around you seemed to be back home.

A dangerous reality that unbeknownst to you could effect others, and by some odd twist of luck or supernatural force, could pull those you loved into it. Now you sit here with the means and uncanny desire to do it again. Though with a twist admittedly.

You did not desire to write down any dark thoughts.

No. In fact, you wished the opposite. You wanted to write down and rationalize your effort in healing. An effort you only have no doubt because God or some other higher power managed to allow a happy ending in what would otherwise be a horrible miscommunication between the sovereign of this world.

A happy ending that allowed you to stay here in your lover’s chambers. A happy ending that allows you to sit in front of this book and ponder to make a daring decision.

Would this new diary turn into a dangerous and horrible artifact of arcane power?

Were you yourself cursed to turn such things into that?

Was it only because you wrote down dark aspects?

You weren’t sure. But you had the desire.

You had a goal in mind to. To actually heal. To use it as a way to finally open up. No weird stories. No over dramaticism. No dark creations. Just the honest truth.

“Fuck it.” You said under your breath.

You touched the now empty pages of your old journal with your pencil, and began writing.

~~

”Dear Journal. It is January now. I have a lot of explaining to do. I don’t tend to go into detail as to how I got into this world or why because I’m hoping this book to be used with outside context. The context of who I am and what had happened. Coupled with the understanding of why I’m writing in this. To get better. Mentally. I guess I’ll just start at the end of the incident then. After both Luna and I managed to get out of this journal. Once I managed to finally win over the Shadow part of myself, with a great help from Luna, both her and I were finally out of that place. We were found injured in the forest by my friends, the Elements of Harmony, and Celestia. Speaking of Celestia, it looked, at first, like she wanted to tear me limb from limb.

She accused me of not attempting to warn others nor getting rid of or destroying the book. Both of those are false, though to be fair, I could have done better, and Celestia really didn’t have that information. She tried to set things up so that I would be far away from Luna, and kept under a more watchful eye in Ponyville. Not the worst punishment, but I don’t think I deserved one. Well, LUNA didn’t think I deserved it. She was at first unable to explain the needed context to Celestia to help calm her nerves, as Luna was mentally disturbed over the incident, as was my close friend Twilight. A fact which I still feel guilt for. Though I still feel the guilt of being responsible for the mental and physical scarring of those closest to me, I won’t deny the gratitude I feel for their willingness to help me. I no longer reject the help of others because of my fear for their safety. It is still there, but I won’t refuse help from others when I need it. In return I do all I can to help them, despite what may happen to me. I never really cared what happened to me anyways. That’s why I’m here in the first place. And that apathy towards my well being may still be a problem, at least in the eyes of those who love me. I was still responsible however, add that to the fact Celestia found both her student and sister injured and disturbed and she can only assume the worst. She separated me from Luna and Twilight and had guards posted at my door. Though despite these precautions, and most likely a word of warning from her sister, Luna managed to sneak out of her room and into mine. At first I was worried about her being there. I didn’t want things to get worse nor Celestia to get angrier. But after Luna expressed her fear of being alone after what had happened, I caved and allowed her to stay. She probably would have anyways, and I wanted her to. I had to confess something that night though. Confess on how I really did end my life, and what Luna saw wasn’t just some illusion or trick to scare her. At first she denied it but eventually realization struck and she hugged me tight as she cried.

I wasn’t the only one to confess something that night. Luna expressed her feelings towards me in that bed after she calmed down from the revelation of my death. It was in the bed I experienced my first kiss. And my second, and third...so on. It was strange to me but I let it happened, and accepted it. I realized I had similar feelings, though I never realized I did until then. Love and affection was always foreign to me, any time I had something close to that feeling it was all blurred and seemed the same. Friendship, romantic love, paternal love, all seemed to just be a part of the same thing I never got to have save for rare occasions. And until now, at least I hope, always left as soon as they appeared. We fell asleep in that hospital bed in each others arms. Or hooves? You know what I mean. The next morning wasn’t pleasant. I woke up to Luna standing over me in the bed and screaming at her sister who had just walked in on us.

I’m not exactly sure how it happened but in the midst of the screaming, I wasn’t able to get even a few words in with both of rulers ignoring me or screaming over my words. Eventually they calmed down and an actual discussion was allowed to happen. Luna was finally able to fully express her side of the story now that she was in my company and was able to vouch for the actions I did. We both managed to get through to Celestia and she rethought a lot of her actions to that point. Though she was still had a lot of questions for me, and while I wouldn’t be locked away in Ponyville, I am restricted to the castle for the time being. She even allows me to stay in Luna’s chambers due in part to a very adamant Luna.”

After several days of discussion, Celestia became increasingly open to solving the issue in a more pragmatic way, and though my friends are upset to see me leave, they are happy that I’m alright and won’t be banished.

I apologized countless times to Twilight and what she had to go through, but she kept insisting that it wasn’t my fault and that she shouldn’t have broken my trust and looked into my private journal in the first place. She says she’s glad that I’m at least all right and managed to fight back against my problems.

In what I can only assume it typical Twilight fashion, she soon devolved from sympathetic and understanding despite what had happened, into inquisitive and curious. Wondering how all of what had just happened worked and what it means. We still communicate through letters, she asks me a lot of questions about my world and my condition. Once she fully recovers she says she’ll want to make a visit to the palace to visit and “study me.” The study aspect about that one letter sent a shiver down my spine, but I trust her.

These days however I find myself in a comfortable routine. I’ve managed to suggest providing music during ceremonies and parties on the palace grounds to a willing but cautious Celestia, and work on original music during the night with Luna when she isn’t busy. When she is, I’m usually by her side, she is still very nervous with out me, which I hate to see, but being there with her seems to comfort her and I’m more than happy to help her. During the day, both Luna and I fall sleep in each other’s embrace.”

~~

You gazed over the writing on the pages. There was something else you had to say. Some thing else that needed to be said. This would not be the last time you wrote in this book.

Far from it. You felt as though this was the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Though all new stories must come with the closing of books.

”Anon? Will you be coming to bed soon?”

You looked over to your mare in her bed. She looked to you in a tired longing, her eyelids beginning to betray her from a long and busy night.

“Of course I will. I just need to finish this. I’ll only be a minute.”

”Please finish with haste. *yawn* I can only sleep comfortably when next to you.”

“I’ll hurry and finish up.”

You looked back to your book. Something in your head clicked and you smiled. Once again, pencil touched paper, and you wrote out the closing thoughts of this major event in your life.

~~

”I went through some of the worst trials in my life back home. I do not resent it however. I loved my family, I appreciate the work Dr. Hall did to try and help me. In the end it didn’t matter however. I succumbed to my anxiety and depression, to my dependency on alcohol, my desire for an end. Though, even though my old life ended, I can see a new one beginning. Was I right to end it? I wouldn’t have found a new life here if I hadn’t. Well, it probably wasn’t. But it happened. I accept that now. And I’m willing to accept what ever comes my way, and with the motivation to do better. So, even though my other life is over, quite literally, a new life has started for me, and I’m ready to live it. With great friends, an amazing lover, and this time, a book that will be used to heal and bring me up, other than hurt and smother me in my own self defeatism. I’ll have to start this new life with some rest. Asleep by her side. I suppose the old adage is true.”

”All Ends with Beginnings.”

~~~~

END

Author's Note

Okay. This is the end. It took so long to post for a reason, I'll explain in a minute but first let me say thank you to every one here for reading and commenting on the story. To everyone in the AiE threads on /mlp/ and everyone here in FIMFiction. It was the first story I ever wrote and completed.

When I first wrote this on 4chan a little over a year ago (holy shit time flies) I loved seeing everyone comment along and put out their theories as to what all the symbolism was and what it meant. Not everyone liked it but that's to be expected. I noted and took to heart all the criticism I received while writing and remembered all of the good things people had to say. One anon even told me this story helped push him to accept Luna as his favorite character. Another on how they started my story and binged the entire thing in a day. So if one or two people enjoyed my story I consider it a good first success.

You don't have to keep reading unless you're really interested in what I have to say next by the way. Just know I'm working on more projects that can be found on my ponepaste and will eventually post them here.
~~
Anyways, why did this take longer to post than my original schedule of uploading? I already said in one of the comments that work keeps me from posting during the week but I'm usually good on posting during the weekend. Well, one of the biggest critiques I received was how people felt the ending was rushed. I wanted to think long and hard about whether or not I rewrote the ending to make it better but I ultimately decided to keep it the way it was. I hardly rewrote anything else in the story outside of some dialogue to make it more clear who was saying what and to make Anon not sound like such a little bitch.

With that explained. I'm also willing to answer any questions and go into detail about how the story was written and what all the symbolism meant. I also ask to post your own interpretation of what exactly happened and what you think all the different anonymous' were and how they relate to his character. I love talking to you guys.

Alright, I have some more writing not to do. See ya when I see ya.
~Salt