I'm A Girl, Dummy

by DrySpell

Rating: mature
Tags: Equestria Girls, Porn, Second Person, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Human
Length: 2772

You heard a rumor, and you've gotta confirm it by any means necessary

You wonder if you can trick the ever-gullible Pinkie Pie into putting out. Works out great! Well... maybe works a bit too well...

Contains: Lies and deceit of the highest order [really nothing to be worried about, just sex]

1899504 ya filthy animal

Published 2021-04-19 21:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-19 21:10:01 UTC

What's That On Your Shirt There?

“So whaddya want to talk about?”

You couldn’t answer that question. You never even expected her to hear you out in the first place. Someone with some common sense would probably ask a single question when asked to meet a guy they’d never seen before in a secluded place after school. But Pinkie just stood there in silence, a curious smile on her face.

“I uh… had something to ask you, I guess.” Your hands were clasped behind your back, hopefully hiding how nervous you were. You squeezed them tight before continuing. “So, I was talking with a few of my friends, and they told me a pretty weird rumor about you.”

“Ooo.” Pinkie’s eyes widened and smiled again. “I love me some gossip! Lay it on me.” You chuckle, hoping that it would somehow make the conversation any easier. After a gulp, you’re ready to lay all your cards on the table.

“Yeah, it’s kinda crazy. People have been saying… that you’re a guy.” Your lips purse and you force yourself to keep Pinkie’s eye as to not seem any more suspicious. “It’s crazy, but I just thought you should know what they’ve been saying, is all.”

The real rumor was that Pinkie Pie was extremely gullible. Almost dangerously so.

There was a story of a guy who tricked Pinkie into handing over $300 for the promise of two Twizzlers and a fun-sized pack of gummy worms. There was another where she went on a meat purge because she thought eating too much beef would somehow morph her into a cow. The list went on and on. It just so happened that you and your friends thought that you should try taking a chance and bringing the situation to its logical… risque conclusion.

“I’m not a boy, silly!” She placed her arm on your shoulder. You tensed up, but Pinkie didn’t seem to mind. “What makes ya think that?”

“W-Well, this wasn’t me,” you answer quickly. “Just a few of the other boys think that you’re padding yourself and using a cup, is all.” You put your hands up in defense. “Again, I just thought it’d be nice to let you know?”

“Boo,” she said with a pout. “I haven’t heard anyone even whisper that, and I speak to everyone all the time!”

“Well, it’s just…” Your lack of ability to think on your feet caught up with you, but the pressure forced you to put something on the table. “One day I thought I saw your boobs get bigger, so I thought that must’ve been using pads.”

Pinkie paused, then backed away. For a moment, your heart stopped. You basically admitted to not only ogling her, but doing so regularly. And on top of that, if she decided to, she could put in a report and have you expelled by the end of the week. You gauged your options, wondering if turning around and sprinting off in the opposite direction would be the best course of action.

“You’re so funny, Anon.” She reached behind her, fiddling with something outside of your sight. You were confused until you saw the slight puff of her chest spreading out. She took a deep breath as she slid her bra out of place, down her shirt, and into her hand. Your eyes flickered between it and her chest. “This is a genuine pair of sweater puppies I’ve got here!” She reached for the bottom of her shirt, but your hand caught hers first. Finally, you looked away.

“Ahaha!” You laughed shakily. “A-April Fools!” Pinkie turned her head.

“But it’s the middle of May.”

“Yeah, you’re right! It was just a little prank is all.” Pinkie frowned.

“Anonnie… I can tell when you’re lying.” You wanted to point out that there was no way she could, but you decided to keep your mouth shut. “You still think I’m a boy, don’t you?”

“No, definitely not.” You spoke with absolute confidence, hoping that she would back down. Unfortunately, she just pouted more fiercely. “I mean… that’s kind of ridiculous, right? I mean, I can tell you’re a girl just by looking.”

“Then look!” With a sudden burst of strength, Pinkie overpowered you, grasping her shirt and pulling it up to her neck. All at once, you were hit with a sight of Pinkie’s breasts flopping out of their loose restraints.

Pinkie was a curious case. It almost seemed as if she didn’t know how sexy she was, on account of her childish demeanor. Her breasts were huge. Big enough that your hand stretched out would barely not cover the whole thing. Her areola were large, puffy, and smooth, with her inverted nipples rounding her entire breast off. To say you weren’t bewitched by them would be a lie. Pinkie used her free hand to lift one up slightly.

“See? Get a load of these babies!” While you stared, Pinkie bounced on the soles of her feet, jiggling them in your face. “Well? Believe I’m a girl now?”

“S-Sorry Pinkie.” Your grip on her hand loosened, and your hands fell to your sides. “I… I don’t think I can tell by just looking. Can I touch them?”

“No problemo!” she said with a large smile. “Give ‘em a nice squeeze.” Though your mind was frazzled, the thumping of your heart in your ears still warned you of the danger. If you were seen, it’d be a pretty awkward story to tell your parents. Still, you were thankful that your base instincts took over for you in this critical moment.

Like you thought, you couldn’t fit her entire breast in your palm all at once. It squished against her chest the more you pushed against it. Her skin was incredibly soft and supple compared to the roughness of your hands. Your gaze drifted to the other one, your thumb poking at the smoothed edge of her nipple. Without being too rough, you pressed in as much as you could. To your surprise, when you pulled back, her nipple popped out with you.

“Oops! Looks like I got a bit turned on,” Pinkie chuckled. “But see! They can’t be pads if I get turned on when you touch ‘em.”

“But just to be sure,” you backed away. “Turn around. I have to check something else.” Pinkie blinked a few times, her confusion clear on her face. Still, she complied without a word. Once her back was to you, you stepped into her, pressing your chest against her back. You stood a bit taller than her, allowing you to barely see over her mess of hair and watch your hands slowly caress her breasts.

“Oh, I’ve seen this!” Pinkie pushed herself properly against you, unknowingly grinding against your rapidly growing erection. “You get behind the girl and you give her a proper breast massage!”

“Y-Yeah, it’s like that.” From this position, you could do things you couldn’t before. To start, you stretched your arms, pulled her tits as far as they could go without resistance, then pulled back to squish them against each other. Your index fingers rubbed against her nipple nubs, quickly bringing out the other nipple in only a few seconds. From underneath, you lifted them up, used your arms leverage, and squeezed them tight.

“Ha…” Pinkie’s breath started to come out heavy. Though faint, you could feel her heartbeat speed up through your left hand’s caresses. “A-Are you almost done? If we keep going, somethin’ bad is gonna happen.” Your hands froze for a moment, but your mouth didn’t.

“What’s gonna happen?” You pressed her nipples together, circling them with the other. “Gonna cum?”

Instead of answering you with words, Pinkie’s legs nearly buckled and her knees pressing against each other. You began to pull away from her chest, but her arms shot up and pressed down on yours, keeping her breasts firmly pressed together. She let out a long, shaky breath before shaking her entire body for a moment. Afterward, the only sound you could hear was her soft, rapid breaths, and the sound of your heart in your throat.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was small, almost as if you didn’t even want her to hear it. “Um… let me get your bra for you.”

“W-Wait!” Pinkie turned on her heel, nearly knocking you off your feet. She grabbed your wrists, pulling you close, and pressing her breasts against your chest. You forced yourself to keep eye contact again. “You didn’t finish checking. How do I know you don’t still think I’m a boy?” Those words shocked you. Honestly, it had slipped your mind that that was the lie this whole thing started with.

“Sorry,” you apologized while looking away. “I heard that you were really gullible, so I thought that maybe if I asked to cop a feel or something you’d do it .” You met her eyes, even though you were terrified of what she would look like.

Surprisingly, she still seemed slightly confused.

“Uh, what?” She shook her head, then lead your hand to her hip. “Anyway, c’mon! Sunlight’s burnin’ and I wanna clear any suspicion right away.” Now it was your turn to be confused. You were pretty sure you gave as clear of a confession of guilt as possible, but by the way Pinkie was moving, you might as well have told her to drop her shorts.

And that’s exactly what she did. In one motion, the daisy dukes that had been riding her ass until now fell to the ground with a small pomf. Now she was completely nude, save for her most important bit. And soon she was making motions to get rid of that, too.

“I… wait, hold on,” you stuttered. Pinkie either didn’t hear you or didn’t care. She slipped her thumb under the hem of her panties, then slowly pulled them down. Your next sentence died in your throat as you watched the few strings of cum follow her panties to the ground. Now completely bare, she kicked her clothes to the side, put her legs shoulder-width apart, placed her hands on her hips, and puffed her chest out.

“See, Anon! No pads, no cups.” She seemed almost proud of the fact that she was bare in front of you. As your eyes glared at her plump pussy lips, she made her own moves. She grasped your hand, bringing your knuckles in contact with them and making you jump. She giggled. “Nothing to be afraid of! Didn’t you want to check inside?”

“Inside…” You repeated her words, looking down at your hand barely an inch away from Pinkie’s clit. Making heads and tails of the bizarre situation once again came second to your raw desire. You flipped your hand palm up and using your two longest fingers slowly pressed past Pinkie’s pussy lips. The reaction was immediate, with a small, contained yelp escaping Pinkie’s lips before she covered her mouth with her hands.

“K-Keep going…” Though she sounded overeager like usual, going inside of her seemed to have a pretty normal effect on her. Her face flushed red and she tightened as you explored her.

At first, you decided just in and out would be fine, but before long, you decided to get a bit adventurous. You pulled out the ring finger and replaced it with the index, using your thumb to poke at her clit in a makeshift gun position. Considering Pinkie’s sudden increase in shuddering, it must’ve been effective.

Just before you got too comfortable though, you pulled your fingers away. She seemed disappointed, but regained her spark when she saw you getting to your knees. Now face to face with her delicates, you moved in, slowly lapping up whatever she was dripping out before. Next, you penetrated, your tongue exploring her rapidly tightening hole with quick, strong flicks accompanied by slowly rotating swathes. Every now and then, your nose would press against her clit, sending a shock through her body in the form of a strong shiver.

When you could feel her getting close, you moved upward, quickly lashing at her clit with your tongue and reintroducing your fingers to her pussy. You found her g-spot, then pressed down gently on it. She leaned upward, standing on her tiptoes, shaking harder than ever as another orgasm slowly dribbled out of her. Finally finished, you pulled away, catching your breath as she caught hers. Soon, your eyes met, and you understood the meaning behind this whole situation.

“So I got my answer…” you said with a small chuckle. She didn’t respond, only looking down at you. “But you can never be too sure.” You got to your feet, placing your hand over the zipper to your jeans. “Maybe I can check deeper?”

“If it’ll prove it,” said Pinkie. Until the end, she kept up the act. You didn’t mind, though.

You were out of your jeans and in the nude just as quickly as Pinkie was. She glared down at your cock, her eyes widening as time went on. Your hand started on her thigh, then slid across her skin until it found a hold underneath her ass. Once her leg was lifted into the air, a clear path to your goal was set, and you followed through.

At first, you only poked and prodded, careful not to go in too fast. But your greed got the better of you. Pushing past her folds was no issue, sliding straight through the slick, yet tight passageway. Once you finally reached the base, you paused and took the deep breath you’d held back for a while. You looked up to Pinkie, who hadn’t moaned or whimpered but instead had a large smile on her face. Seemed fitting for her.

Once you pulled back, you grabbed one breast in hand, treating the since-inactive nipples to a tongue massage. Shoving back in, you gave them a strong suck before circling the areola with the tip. You got into a grove, suckling and pounding at Pinkie as you pleased. Judging by the shaking of her body, she was quite pleased as well.

You pulled her other leg up, leaving her back on the wall as her only support. From this position, it was harder to reach her boobs but made for better penetration. Each thrust seemed to send Pinkie’s breathing out of wack, but as you picked up the pace, her inhales began to match the speed of your pumps.

“Pinkie… fuck,” With your speed increasing, you were finding yourself running low on breath. Despite the soon-to-be screaming of your lungs, you soldiered on. Almost as a reward for this decision, Pinkie leaned forward, wrapping her arms around your neck and planting a soft kiss on your lips. As you indulged, you felt your second wind come through, and your energy was once again renewed.

“Anonnie…” Pinkie’s soft voice on your lips sent fire down your spine. But she wasn’t done yet. “Don’t stop. Make me your girl.”

The words were a spell that made the first shot of cum burst out. With a final slam, another cumshot joined the rest. Soon, many more followed, all pooling up near the warm back of Pinkie’s pussy. Her grip around your neck tightened, and she shook in your arms. You’d lifted her completely off the ground by now.

“That was... amazing,” you said, breathlessly. She didn’t respond at first, only continuing to hug you tight. “Um… Pinkie? You gotta let me go now” She pulled herself away from you, but didn’t uncross her legs. Her hands found their way onto your shoulders.

“Wow, that rocked!” She smiled wide. “So, do you still think I’m a guy?”

“N-No, I never did…” You sigh. “Pinkie, you can drop the act, you know. I know you were just playing around with me.”

“Playing?” Her face displayed still displayed genuine confusion, confusing you as well. “Nah, I just wanted to make sure no rumors spread about me, ya know?”

“Right…” You try to put her down, but she locked herself in position. Soon, you don’t even have to hold her up with your hands. “So can you let me go? Can I pull out?”

“It’s, y’know... better safe than sorry!” she said. “Better test me a few more times before you go, right?” Your eyes begin to widen, but you close them soon after. After a sigh and a shake of the head, you realize you’re not getting out of this situation with a “see ya later” and a hug.

“Alright Pinkie,” you say with a smirk. “Just one more test, right?”

Author's Note

After-Sex Smoke