How To Overthrow Your Mom
Flurry Heart’s Coup
By MlpHero
Hi! My name is Flurry Heart! I’m two years old, and I am a princess! Or… I think? I don’t know. Monarchs are weird. Anyway, I think I need no introduction. I’m kinda big in this fandom. Whether it’s because my birth ruined the continuity of the show (Yes, I know that Friendship is Magic is a show. I may be two, but I’m not stupid.) or that I’m ridiculously overpowered. But half of them are the type who make overpowered Alicorn OCs.
Anyway, I’m currently sitting in my high chair, waiting for my imbecile of a dad to get the frozen yogurt with a diamond shaped spoon, the shape, not the gem. We’re not that rich, or this castle would be bigger. My aunt Luna hordes all the bits and uses it to try and best the changelings military strength. Yeah, boost the military strength. Not help those ponies starving on the street.
Finally, my stupid as heck dad runs over with the yogurt and spoon. “H-Here you go sweetie! We didn’t have any blueberry yogurt, only strawberry.”
You may expect me to throw a fit.
And yes, I am. Hey, I’m two. Cut me slack. Unlike everyone else, I’m legally allowed to have fits.
I pout my face and begin huffing and puffing. “Daddy, you stupid mother—”
~~~
Shining squeaked and raised a magic shield to protect himself from the barrage of yogurt and magic blasts
Soon, they stopped. Or so… he thought. He opened his eyes, and his jaw dropped. “Oh crap! Cadence! Help!”
~~~
Cadence stared in the mirror, swapping between two flower crowns. “Hm… are roses better or tulips…?” she thought.
Before she could decide, she was interrupted by a scream that quickly appeared by her window, then faded. She blinked, then quickly teleported outside.
~~~
Shining was falling. And fast. He screamed like a girl. Or at least…
A very high pitched boy.
Cadence soon appeared in a flash beside her falling husband. “What happened?!”
“Flurry threw me out of the windooooooowww!” he screamed.
“For what?” she asked in a more confused than shocked way.
“It turns out she doesn’t like strawberry yogurt.”
Cadence blinked, then teleported away.
“Wait, Cadence!” Shining looked down. “Ah crap...”
Splat!
~~~
I began giggling. Who knew tossing someone out of a window could be so fun! Didn’t know I could summon tendrils though…
It wasn’t long until mommy teleported in though. “Flurry Middle Name Heart!”
I blinked. I didn’t really have a middle name, so I wasn’t that intimidated. Mommy seemed to realize that too.
“Huh… that usually works…” mommy muttered. She shook her head. “A-Anyway, why’d you throw daddy out the window?”
“Well he gave me strawberry yogurt instead of blueberry yogurt, that he should burn in Tar-Tarus for that.”
Also, sorry for my pronunciation. Can’t really speak. I’m still two.
Mommy blinked. “Um… what?”
Oh right. I speak in babbles. Uh…
I then grabbed some paper and crayons and began scribbling out the words. I did it with such precision, I made A.K Yearling look bad. After I finished my message, I may or may not have thrown in the second chapter of mommy’s book. Something about a mare and stallion cuddling? Eh, whatever. I showed my beautiful writing to mommy. This oughta get my point acro—
“All I see are seventeen lines and what looks like a snake…”
I blinked. “Wha—”
“Or… is it a donkey?”
…
~~~
Shining finally managed to stand up straight without wobbling or falling down. “Ow… why does this dad business have to be so hard…” he looked around. Several ponies were staring in his direction. He blushed sheepishly, rubbing his head. “Heheh… uh… nothing to see here folks… just uh… I tripped?”
Everyone raised their brow. Shining was a terrible liar. Like, really terrible. So much so that he couldn’t even lie about not eating the last slice of pie last night.
Shining stretched. Well.. that could’ve been bett—
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
“Huh?”
Before Shining knew it, he was squashed by Cadence, who now looked more like a pancake.
“Owww….” Shining groaned. “Why do I always get the short end of the stick…”
~~~
I giggled again. This is fun! I mean, it’s illegal and I’m most likely gonna get arrested, but it’s worth it!
I then heard someone open the door. I quickly turned around. “You’ll never take me alive!”
There stood two Crystal guards, one named Diamond Shard, the other, Topaz. They blinked, noticing my tendrils.
“So uh… how’s it hanging…?” Topaz asked, sounding confused. “Where’d you get those…?”
I shrugged. Or I tried. I don’t really have a neck. They blinked, looking around. They noticed my mess of strawberry yogurt. Diamond’s eyes widened. “Holy heck that’s impressive.”
I smiled. “Heck yeah, it’s impressive!”
The guards blinked. “Uh… what?
Dang it… still speak in babbles… uh…
I raced over to the crayons and paper and quickly began writing. I think I have really outdone myself this time. I wrote the entirety of mommy’s book and uncle Blueblood’s book. His book was mostly about stallions cuddling. Mommy always said love comes in many forms.
Anyway, I wrote out my message along with mommy and uncles books, and held it up for the two to see. They looked confused.
Diamond examined it. “Uh… is that a p comin’ out of a—”
“Language, dude!” Topaz snapped. “That’s a kid!”
I blinked. I’m two! I’m practically an elder! Stupid guards…
Topaz looked around. “Huh… hey, isn’t that Cadence’s crown?” he pointed to the crystal crown.
“Uh… yeah.”
“Aaaand… is that a broken window?” He gestured to the shattered window.
Diamond nodded. “Eeyup.”
“Aaaaand… didn’t Cadence and Shining just fall out a window?”
Diamond walked over to the window and nodded. “Uh… it would appear so.” He stepped back over to Topaz.
“So that means Flurry threw them out?”
Uh oh…
Diamond nodded. “Yeah, it would seem so.”
Topaz looked at me, then at Diamond. “Isn’t that technically a coup?”
Diamond flipped through a rule book. “Uh… rule four-twenty on page sixty-nine, heh, says that any attempt on a Royal or political figure’s life does count as either a coup or assassination attempt.”
Wait, what? I just threw them out the window. Wasn’t planning on taking over the government. But now that the idea is there…
But before I could do anything, the guards held pillows up. “Flurry Middle Name Heart! You’re under arrest and sentenced to ten minutes in the timeout corner!”
“No! I hate the timeout corner! YEET!”
~~~
Topaz flew out of the window, falling, and crashing with a thud. Diamond blinked, then looked at Flurry, who’s head slowly turned to him, an evil grin on her face.
“Uhh… I can throw myself, thank you…”
Before Flurry could grab him, he’d jumped out the window, also landing with a thud. “Ow! I think I broke my wing!”
“You don’t have a wing, Diamond…” Shining groaned.
“Oh, right…”
Flurry Heart giggled. “Hehehe! Bah bah gahhh… (My castle now, losers).”
~~~
Downstairs, Cadence, Shining, and the two guards were laid in a pile, groaning. Shining was suffering the worse, as he was on the bottom, and therefore, carrying the most weight.
It wasn’t long until they noticed a figure approaching. They looked up and their eyes widened.
~~~
I sat in mommy’s throne. Why is it made out of crystal? This thing must be expensive! Like, over the top expensive.
But then I felt… strange…
It was a presence I haven’t felt since…
The doors flew open, and there he stood. Thorax. I immediately flew up. I wasn’t gonna let him get the better of me this time—
Then he air-tackled me. Not too hard, obviously. It is Thorax. Then he cradled me and— wait no! No Thorax, stop! Not like this! My coup can’t end yet! D-Darn… darn yooooouuuuuuuuu...
Zzz…
~~~
Thorax chuckled, rocking Flurry in his green hooves. “There you go Flurry. You were just cranky, weren’t you?”
“Bah bah…”
“Heh… yeah, you were.”
The ponies stepped into the throne room. Cadence was the most impressed. “Wow Thorax, how’d you do that?”
Thorax blushed. “Well... to be honest, Cadence… you’re a terrible mother.”
“Well, I— Hey!”
The guards and Shining burst out laughing. Cadence pouted a trudged off. Yep, definitely a terrible mother.
