A New Game Plus on Equestria

by HB_DS2013

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Diamond Dogs, Original Character, Spike, Science Fiction, Profanity, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Sex
Length: 3329

Lauren M. W. "Ren" Falbav is reborn as Sassy Parilla, a fugitive who will take the Diamon Dog species out of the Iron Age

Lauren Marie Wolfram "Ren" (Fal)cey (Bav)aridge, was supposed to have been summoned into a medieval fantasy universe where kingdoms fight over the freedom of heroes... except she wasn't. Her roommate, Reggie got it instead. Instead of that, she's just a normal young woman who plays MMOs by day and works as a bouncer by night. Or was.

Ren wakes as a smart diamond dog with a new name and a rootbeer flagon pin on her vest after creating a new character in Equestria Online... which really turns out to be a one-way ticket to a new world. She still keeps her prosthetic arm and eye, so there's that.

Entry for the Friendship is Optimal contest.

Published 2021-04-30 13:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-30 13:00:01 UTC

Level 0: Character Creation

Author's Note

To those people who haven't heard of me, I'm HB_DS2013. Just call me HB. I've been writing for a while, but just not in this fandom and not the point. The point is that I'm here after a hiatus of not writing ponies. Even though this is supposed to be for a contest, I might as well have fun while I'm taking a break from writing my non-pony fanfics.

Sorry I'm late. I wrote what I could, so enjoy anyway.

Level 0: Character Creation

The alarm on my phone blared as I woke up with a groan. I took off my X-print sleep mask, changed out of my ax-print pajamas, and switched to a cute pony-print shirt and a pair of pants. I groaned to myself when my shirt got snagged in my prosthetic arm, so I had to be careful with it. After five minutes of finagling with my prosthetic arm and then admiring my tattoo for another five minutes, I put on my eyepatch over my cyber-eye. I wiped the dust from my bio-eye and looked out the window.

It was already dark and sunset had passed, so the buildings were starting to light up with their neon signs. The blaring of car horns and sirens wailed throughout the evening. I was about to leave when I checked my phone and sighed to myself.
I had forgotten that someone else had offered to take over for me tonight in return for a Monday morning shift.
My room wasn't much, except for my bed, my PC, and a holo-poster of a 20th-century cartoon about cutesy ponies. I was about to stand up when my phone buzzed at the edge of my bed.

I picked up my phone and sat in front of my PC.

☕Kbarako
Ren, you're not gonna believe this.

🐺Wolfsbane
Let me guess... you spent most of the money on coffee again, Reggie? Don't tell me you went ballistic in a bar again?

☕Kbarako
I can and will, but that's not the point. You know real vegetables stopped existing in 2055. Point is that I found a new MMO you can try.

🐺Wolfsbane
What's it called?

☕Kbarako
Equestria Online. It's been out for a couple of months. I'd try, but I already have my own game. It's one of those 20th-century tactical waifu simulators.

🐺Wolfsbane
...Okay. Where are you rn?

☕Kbarako
At the Salty Lime- the bar you work at. I found out about Equestria Online from the pink-haired nurse. She had a card with a link to the game, but she gave it to me since she's not into MMOs. I think it's cool that most of the patrons here are known by their online handles.

🐺Wolfsbane
Great... a hand-me-down. Anyway, The Salty Lime's a gamer-friendly bar, Reggie. There's the bar where everyone goes to eat and a medium-sized arcade for anyone interested in a gaming session.

Pink-haired nurse? Ah, I've seen her around. I usually know her as "Frost Rose." She's known for her handle because of her snowflake and rose tattoo on her arm. Not a gamer, but she's one of the sweetest patrons in the bar and she works at the Salty Lime as a part-time waitress. Frost sometimes comes with her other sibs, though mainly with her kid sister- nine, I think.

☕Kbarako
I didn't know Frost had sibs.

🐺Wolfsbane
Two younger sisters and a bro. The bro and the younger sis have faces of a supermodel, but they're absolute dorks. The bro really loves cold puns and the younger sis loves animals.

☕Kbarako
Why are you telling me this?

🐺Wolfsbane
They seem nice enough and I thought you'd be interested in askin' one of 'em out. Kid sister's off-limits 'til she's eighteen, though. Hurt her and you earn Frost's wrath. Trust me- you really don't want to be on the receiving end of Frost's wrath.

☕Kbarako
After my toxic ex-girlfriend, I doubt I'd want to be available for a while. You didn't have to take me in, but... thanks anyway. Do you want anything, Ren?

🐺Wolfsbane
Np. I'll have two beef sliders, jalapeno poppers, and Mozza stick. Oh, and an extra-large soda- surprise me. You didn't forget your weapons, did you?

☕Kbarako
Hell no. I'd never leave the apartment without my card, wallet, gun, or backup hatchet. It's safety 101.

🐺Wolfsbane
Just making sure. Between the corrupt cops and the perpetual gang violence, I'd rather not pay for your funeral if it means seeing you alive again. I'll send you the money if you buy some food for yourself too, Reggie. Elevator's broken, so you're gonna hafta take the stairs.

☕Kbarako
Fine. That'll be twenty-six fifty for your order. Btw, I'm texting the code for Equestria Online to you now.

I sent the money to Reggie and turned to my PC. I looked up "Equestria Online" and clicked the first link... after ignoring all the news articles about it. I typed in the code and waited. I took a glance out to my window and sighed. The weather outside was overcast and grey and the skyline had grey buildings with neon signs scattered all around. Now and then, I can see a flying car zoom past the skyline.

I turned back to my PC and whistled at the website design. It did look like something for little girls. Finding the register tab was easy. I typed in the code, then my info.

I was caught by surprise when the screen turned black. I was worried for a sec until I was greeted by a tall and white, winged horse with a long, sharp horn and a moving rainbow mane.

~~🌞~~

🌞????
Greetings, my little pony.

My phone buzzed. I looked around with a gasp and looked down at my phone.

Wolfsbane
You better not be a virus. Who the hell are you?

🌞????
My, my~ Such rudeness, though understandable. You may refer to me as CelestAI.

Wolfsbane
Real descriptive... How do I know you're not a scammer?

🌞CelestAI
I will do no such thing. Your safety and happiness are my responsibility as of now, dear Wolfsbane.

Wolfsbane
Um... that happened. How are you gonna help me?

🌞CelestAI
I will do no such thing. Your safety and happiness are my responsibility as of now.

🌞CelestAI
Hmm... is your full name Lauren M. W. Falbav?

Wolfsbane
It is. My handle is based on my second middle name.

🌞CelestAI
I see. Why name yourself after a poisonous flower?

Wolfsbane
My godmother gave it to me. The least I can do is honor her in some form. Does it answer any of your questions?

🌞CelestAI
Actually, yes. You may redirect your attention to your PC now.

I closed my phone and turned back to the PC. CelestAI's horn glowed again as a large text box next to a 2D drawing of a muscular, bipedal light grey dog with a short snout, sharp ears, wrinkles near its narrow-slitted golden eyes, non-existent eyebrows, a pair of long forearms with huge paws, and a tiny hip with small hind paws and a short tail. It wore a thick, diamond-studded collar and a red vest.

Below the creature was the name "Diamond Dog" in cursive print.

I looked over the text box. There were three tabs. The Appearance tab had gender, species, height, face, eyes, eye color, clothes, breed, and emblem- not necessarily in that order. Next to the appearance tab were the stats, then the last tab was named traits. It also had special talents... whatever those are.

There weren't a lot of options to fine-tune my dog's looks. I accidentally pressed the random button and my dog turned out to look more like a dirty, mahogany pitbull with a prosthetic right arm and a scar over her left eye.

CelestAI didn't like my dog's look, but kept on staring anyway in case I did decide to give an atrocious color scheme.

I didn't care that it looked scary, since I am a bouncer. Next, I uploaded a copy of my tattoo for my dog's vest design. The tattoo, or rather the new vest design I uploaded was a wolf's head about to a wolfsbane flower over a full moon. I found out after I clicked on the dog and turned it around like a 3D model.

I couldn't change the collar, but that's okay. I confirmed my options and moved on to the stats tab.

I shook my head and frowned at the preset stats for a diamond dog.

The stats consisted of high endurance with high strength, non-existent intelligence, sub-par wisdom, non-existent charisma, moderate speed, and non-existent luck. I was also allotted twenty-five skill points.

This was the result.
STR:9
END:7
INT:1
RES:3
CHA:1
SPD:3
LCK:1

CelestAI may look pleased about it, but I'm not surprised. Dogs are smarter than I'll ever give'em credit for.

I changed it around so that I had above average strength, average endurance, average intelligence, average resistance, and low speed. I decided to keep luck and charisma as my dump stats

The changes were as follows:
STR:6
END:5
INT:5
RES:5
CHA:1
SPD:2
LCK:1

I did a once-over at the final stats. CelestAI looked apprehensive over the stats and looked at me as if I was unsure. I nodded at her, confirmed my options and moved on to the traits tab.

The more I looked at the character creation screen, the more I realized that the UI resembled a 20th century post-apocalyptic game called Fallout.

There were so many skills that I literally couldn't decide, so I narrowed it down to Paw-to-Paw Combat, Improv Weapon User and Speech as my tagged skills. I also picked Canterlot as my starter location for good measure.

Finally, as a joke, I typed in my avatar's name as "Sassy Parilla" and sent it in.

A few moments passed. CelestAI disappeared and my PC started to glow. My bedroom door disappeared into a white void that transitioned into a rainbow vortex. I covered my eye until the brightness died down. It was dark for several moments before a tiny orb appeared in front of me and exploded into a city perched on a mountain. The last thing I remembered before I blacked out was crash-landing on a female red-furred earth pony.

Level 1: Random Encounters

Sometime later, I woke up to a bunch of unicorn cops in golden armor, aiming their spears at me. I blinked and waited until my vision cleared enough to see the red earth pony from earlier towering over me and standing in front of the guards. There were a lot of ponies in fancy dresses and suits staring at me as if I was a freakshow. I blinked once and saw ghosts of humans hovering above the ponies.

I tried to move when the guard closest to me glared at me with his spear at my chest. Nope. I laid back down for a moment and waited for the female red pony- the red mare to talk. A 20th-century cash register was on her flank and her short mane was tied in a ponytail.

Not sure how that works, but I won't question it.

"Stay right where you are, b****. " I heard a harsh, male voice bark and looked up at the beep. I blinked and looked up at the guard.

"What... the b*** did you say to me?" I growled out and opened up my prosthetic arm.

Wait, I meant f***! Strange...

"If you stand up, I will be forced to kill you where you stand, mutt." The guard yell-whimpered while he aimed his spear at my neck.

"Wait!" The red mare cried out. "She hasn't done anything."

A grey winged pony with gold armor and a blue plume stepped forward. He looked like a captain, so I'm calling him Capitan for now. Capitan glared at the red mare and motioned for her to stepped back a curt head motion. "Step aside, citizen."

"This mutt," Capitan spat while he aimed his spear and continued, "is in a non-pony, non-wealthy section of Canterlot. For that crime, her punishment is death."

Good to know racism still exists. At least if I die, I'm gonna die fighting. I looked around and noticed a bar stool at the edge of my right hindpaw. I did a quick look-over with my eye and noticed that I was surrounded by six hostile ponies- all of them burly types who clearly sound like they think with their crotches too much.

I was gonna beat them all to a pulp, but I'm not like Reggie with her low-key masochism, love affairs for chairs, coffee obsession, and overall crazy-awesome self.

I clenched my prosthetic arm and stretched out my fist toward the hostile guard near me and grabbed him by the neck. I heard him gurgle and quickly tossed him towards Capitan, then I kicked the stool near me and bashed it on the second guard's head before he can do anything. It broke into tiny shards, knocking him down for the count.

Capitan yelled for his fellows to pin me down, so I wasn't having any of that. At this point, all the bystanders have evacuated the bar.

The building I had crashed into had a lot of round tables and bar stools. It was also stocked with a truckload of booze. Shame I can't get a drink now. Also, there was an old pony playing the Cantina Band theme, but in rag-time music, so that was a thing.

I smelled a sour and acrid smell- I let out a quick sigh and rolled out of their lunge, in time to raise my prosthetic claw. Light erupted from my palm and cracked with blue sparks. I rushed past the guards about to pin me down towards Capitan and hit his chest with a palm strike. Capitan twitched as the sparks danced all over his body and let out pained moans and fell with an undignified groan.

I grabbed a random scroll from Capitan's pack, tossed it towards the other guards and shot at it with a stun-gun shot. The scroll burned and erupted into a harsh light. I pulled the red mare towards my body, tackled the door and ran out of what used to be a bar.

The ragtime piano stopped and it was replaced by a jazz piano mixed with rap. It was loud, but then I remembered that it came from a chip from my temple that had a truckload of 21st-century songs.

I held the red mare like a football as I looked up ahead- the bar was a block or two close to the gates. I heard random ponies scream and shouting something about a barrier. I dodged incoming merchants and barreled through a couple of earth pony guards. I ducked to avoid the horned- unicorn guards' spells and ran in a zig-zag motion to avoid the pegasus guards' dive bombs.

"I'm jumping off a cliff. You'll have to trust me on this." I warned the pony in my grasp as I ran towards the barrier and tackled more guards out of the way.

"WHAT!?" The red mare gaped. "We're gonna di-hi-hi-hi-eeeeee~"

"Not much choice, I'm afraid. Hold on to me." I shook my head and growled as the barrier came into view. I lowered my stance, leaned forward and dug into the ground with my legs. I jumped and landed on my hindpaws, using my own body to propel myself and the pony forward.

The barrier started to close faster. If I can keep my slide tackle long enough to reach the rails- without running into a train, I'd be home free. I ignored the guards behind me as I focused on the rapidly closing barrier.

My feet passed the barrier.

My chest and the red pony surpassed the barrier.

I felt pressure from above and eventually, I smelled the fresh mountain air as the barrier whizzed behind the tips of my floppy ears.

I stood up to see a train chugging along. It was pink and the cars looked like baked goods. I considered dropping the pony, but decided against it. I looked down at the cliffs, then at the advancing train, and jumped off the cliff much to the pony's protests.

It was a long jump, but my newfound large paws helped me slow down my descent. By the time I reached the base of the mountain, I looked up and wiped the sweat from my matted forehead, then looked down to see that the red pony had passed out.

I continued to carry the red pony until I entered a forest. I found an open glade and sat down.

"BWAH!" The red mare yelled. "I had the strangest dream." She rubbed her head and mumbled.

"What is?" I asked while I fed the corpse of a wooden wolf into the fire.

"There was a diamond dog with a metal arm, and we had to run from the guards of the south side of Canterlot." The red mare let out heavy breaths and shuddered.

"...That wasn't a dream. I'm that diamond dog with the metal arm." I pointed to myself and frowned. "I'm not eating you, if that's what you're thinking about. "

"Oh, good." The red mare let out a sigh of relief and spun around. "Where's my coin bag?"

"I didn't have time to come back for your money." I pursed my lips and frowned while flicking my floppy ears twice. "Sorry if I'm busy trying not to die."

"Oh..." The red mare rolled her shoulders and looked up at me with a resigned sigh. "That's okay, um... I can always earn the money back. It's not much."

"Sure it is. I'm beat from all the running around." I let out a large sigh and rolled into a ball.

"Miss Diamond D-Dog?"

"Yeah?" I asked with a furrowed brow.

"I never got your name."

"Wolf- wait, no." I looked up with a small smile. "Just call me Sassy Parilla. I'm tired now, so you can ask me tomorrow morning, yeah. "

I heard a yawn from the red mare and closed my eyes after I heard owlsong...

"You talked! In complete sentences." The red mare gaped as she looked up.

I raised a paw and frowned. "I don't see how that's a big deal. That being said, why didn't you want me to defend myself?"

The red mare frowned. "Only ponies with combat cutie marks can handle the guards, plus violence is wrong. Why would you want to hurt somepony?"

"Ah, you're one of those... As I was saying," I pinched the bridge of my nose with a sigh. "My friend told me once that violence is not an answer- it's a question. And the question is always yes if you want to live."

"The name's Sassy Parilla, but I'm also known as Wolfsbane." I nodded.

"Wolfsbane? Like the poisonous flower?" The red mare frowned while she looked down and rubbed her chin with a hoof. "What about Sassy Parilla? It sounds nicer. How'd you get your name, Sassy?"

"One of my great-grandparents was a pony. She came from a family that handled drinks." I shrugged my shoulders. "She's seen a lotta s*** in her younger years, and it's a wonder how she was able to remember it all. It's from her that I learned not to tolerate prejudice of any kind. Incidentally, my former employer's a bartender. "

"R-right... Do you mind not speaking... that kind of language in front of me?" The red mare gulped.

"As my friend would say... f*** no!" I stood to my full height and crossed my arms. "You'll never get anywhere in life by being spineless. You gotta stand up for yourself, uh..." I trailed off and paused while I rubbed my chin with a claw.

"G-Goldie Register." Goldie Register piped up. "My ancestor's a griffin named Anna. I'd want to be a merchant like her one day."