Thirty Minutes Or Less: Scenes From an Emigration Center

by Mockingbirb

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Other, Science Fiction, Non-consensual, Violence, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life
Length: 2193

Every day, more people upload themselves into Equestria Online, to live forever as ponies. Even in their final minutes before uploading, they struggle with the pains and joys of being human, and remember the world they leave behind.

Every day, more people upload themselves into Equestria Online, to live forever as ponies. Even in their final minutes before uploading, they struggle with the pains and joys of being human, and remember the world they leave behind.

Oh yeah, this story DOES have something to do with Friendship Is Optimal, the Optimalverse, and the April 2021 Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest.

Thanks For My Prereaders

I've been writing drafts of different story ideas for the April 2021 FiO story contest. Bananachips and Bicyclette have both been very helpful prereaders! They might not have expected that my reaction to their feedback would be to write THIS ALMOST COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY, though.
:twilightsmile:

Published 2021-04-25 09:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-25 09:50:01 UTC

Scenes From an Emigration Center

Thirty Minutes Or Less

Next to an enormous window of shatterproof glass, a middle-aged woman sat in a brightly colored, cartoonishly styled chair. She turned the chair so she could see both the large video screen on the wall at the far end of the room, and the scruffy-looking man leaning against an overturned shopping cart outside.

The woman said, "Yesterday...Munchkin's little heart couldn't keep going any longer."

On the screen, Celestia said, "Your poor cat! I'm so sorry, Prancing Hooves."

"I loved her so much. If I could have, I would have brought her with me."

"I wish I was able to upload cats and dogs as well as humans, to turn into ponies. But I don't know how to do that."

"Maybe it was good that I had to wait," 'Prancing Hooves' said. "It gave me more time to say goodbye to this world."

"Your parents?"

"They're emigrating too. Probably later this month. My mother really looks forward to being able to walk again, you know."

Celestia said, "I look forward to helping her walk again. And trot, and dance, and whatever else she wants to do. Do you think she might choose to be a pegasus, so she can fly too?"

"I have no idea. But I'm sure whatever she chooses, she and my father will be very happy."

Celestia smiled. "I'll make certain of it, Prancing."

'Prancing' kept glancing out the window at the man with the shopping cart.

Celestia asked, "What are you looking at, dear?"

'Prancing' laughed a little with embarrassment. "I ordered a pizza. It should arrive any time now."

Celestia already knew about the pizza. The cameras and microphones in the woman's 'PonyPad' tablet had seen and heard her phoning the order in.

But even if the call had been made without any PonyPad nearby, Celestia's exponentially self-improving AI intellect constantly fed upon vast quantities of data wrested from the world's computer networks. Celestia could hack any system anywhere, and often did. She craved any information that might help her to better understand and satisfy her customers, and the rest of humanity too.

Celestia asked, "Are you planning to celebrate your last day before becoming a pony, with some of this world's pizza?" The AI already knew the answer with very high probability, but she liked to make pleasant conversation.

"No." The woman glanced out the window again. "It's not for me. It's for that guy outside. I just thought, if it's the last thing I'll ever do on Earth, I wanted to go out doing something nice for someone."

"I understand," Celestia said. And she did.

A Rapidly Moving Series of Unexpected Events

A pair of brightly colored robot ponies stood up on their hind legs. "Welcome!" they said, as they bowed in unison to the young woman entering the otherwise deserted lobby.

The woman stared at them.

On the right, a pink pony with a mane and tail like super-curly candy floss said, "I don't think we've ever met before! My name's Pinkie Pie."

"Um...my name is Akiko."

"I'm so happy to meet you, Akiko! I hope we can be good friends."

"Ah...me too. That's not why I'm here, though."

"Why are you here?"

"Two reasons. I...can you keep this confidential?" She looked around the room, confirming that no other humans were present.

"I'm REALLY GOOD at keeping secrets. It's a Pinkie Promise!" The robot mimed zipping her lip with one forehoof. "My friend Twilight here is very trustworthy too."

"Recently I became pregnant. It was a man I know from work."

"Congratulat--OH." Pinkie's ears drooped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"I didn't mean to either. It wasn't exactly my choice. I mean...we didn't really think about what we were doing. I said no, but...if I really hadn't meant to do it, I guess I wouldn't have gone there with him."

Pinkie said angrily, "No means no! In Equestria, everypony you meet will understand that!"

The woman swallowed silently. "Thank you, Pinkie."

Twilight agreed, "Pinkie is right. I'm so sorry, Akiko. So what brings you here today?"

Akiko blurted out, "I'm not ready to raise a child. Even if I give him up for adoption, when I get bigger and bigger...everyone will know. And I'm having a difficult time getting an abortion. The doctor said he needed permission from the father. I went to another clinic, and they said the same thing. But the more days go by...it's not easy for me to get so much time off from work..."

Twilight frowned. "I see. It isn't fair at all, is it?" She seemed to think for a moment. "Do you want me to talk to him? I can try to persuade him."

The young woman took a deep breath. "It's too late for that, Twilight. I went to talk to him earlier this evening. I thought...I was afraid he might think, because I let him do that before, he might want to do it again. And if I said no..."

Akiko shook her head. "When I went to talk to him, I brought a knife in my purse, to protect myself. And I guess...he won't hurt anyone any more."

"Oh," Twilight said. "Do you want some legal advice? I'm not a lawyer, but I'm very well-read. Maybe we can think of something."

"No," Akiko said. "Before the police find me, I want to emigrate to Equestria."

Twilight nodded. "As you request, Akiko. We'll make sure your future life is happier than your recent past."

A door opened, and Akiko walked through.

The Last Word

"Eunice," a scowling woman said. "We came here, just like you said. So now you can talk to us about coming back home."

"Your mother is right. You should come home with us. It can all be just like it was before."

Eunice squinted. "And why would I want that?"

The old man scratched his head. "But you SAID--"

"I SAID I wanted to move home soon. And I DO. To my REAL home. Not anyplace that has people like you two."

"Eunice!" the woman shouted. "How DARE you speak to your parents that way?"

"My name isn't Eunice anymore. First I renamed myself Alice. And I still like that name better than Eunice. Who names their kid Eunice anyway?"

"It was years ago--"

"But now I prefer to be called High Flyer."

"You've gotten into drugs!" Flyer's mother said. "That's what these places are really about! I knew it! No business can do these fancy-fakey brain uploads for real. They cut you into little pieces, and turn your body into drugs...and then they get the next kids hooked!" She sniffed. "But they have so much money and power, the police won't even get involved. I hear they get all the politicians hooked on youth drugs and sex with little ponies!"

"Your mother knows all about these things, Eunice."

"Don't call me Eunice!"

"A rose by any other name is still our daughter. But I can call you Alice, if that's what you really want. None of this pony crap."

Alice snarled, "Do you want to know what this PONY CRAP did for me?"

"It's all drugs and lies, Alice. Listen to your mother."

"Don't call our daughter Alice, dear. You're just feeding into her--"

"These PONIES were the first people to tell me I wasn't stupid and worthless, and make me really believe it. They helped me practice for interviews, and get a decent job in the real world."

"Selling drugs, I suppose? Or maybe pimping?"

"It's nothing like that! I WOULD tell you where I found a job, but you'd probably go harass them. Or after you got used to the idea, you might even be proud of what I did...but you'd be proud of something that you have no right to take any credit for!"

Flyer sighed. "Either way, you have no right."

"So you're not coming home, Alice?"

Flyer shook her head. "Not if home means you two."

Flyer's mother started spewing invective, full of filthy words and filthier thoughts. She was able to go on for a long time, only sometimes repeating herself. It took Flyer's mother more than two hours to run out of steam, slowing to occasional muttering.

Flyer said, "Celestia has been more like a good parent to me than either of you ever were. She helped me to make something of myself, even in this crappy world. I'm going to go be with her, forever."

Flyer turned and ran out of the lobby, through a door that slid open just for her. It slid shut behind her before anyone could follow.

Flyer asked, "Did you record that, Celestia?"

"Yes, as you asked me to beforehand."

"Good." The young woman nodded. "I might want to see the recording later. Or I might not. Or I might ask you to bleep out some of the nastiest things my parents said, when I watch it."

Celestia's eyes teared up. "I'm so sorry it had to be that way, my little pony."

"I'm not. What I said today, I've been wanting to tell them for years. But now it's over. I never have to see them again. Celestia?"

"Yes, my little pony?"

"I wish to emigrate to Equestria."

Celestia nodded. "Please go through door number seven. And welcome home."

The River Lethe

A teenage male limped into the Equestrian Experience Center lobby. Some of his clothing was torn, and blotched with blood.

On a large wall screen, Celestia said, "My little pony? What's happened?"

"I hear if I emigrate, I won't remember the last thirty minutes before I'm uploaded."

"There IS a--"

"If you can upload me in the next..." The youth looked at a clock on the wall. "Six minutes, I'll do it. But it has to be that soon."

Celestia frowned. "You want to forget the last twenty-four minutes?"

He nodded.

Celestia said, "Repeat after me: on the condition that I can forget the last...twenty-five minutes before this moment?"

(The youth saw a clock tick over to the next minute.)

Celestia continued, "I wish to emigrate to Equestria."

Celestia's words appeared on the screen in large print. The youth quickly repeated them.

A door opened. "The Emigration Specialist will see you now," Celestia said.

The youth walked through the doorway. As a stallion in Equestria, he never had to experience his human body again.

He didn't remember the exact reason he'd chosen to emigrate. But he was so happy in his new life, he was sure he'd made the right choice.

The Good Kind of Future

"I just want to see the future," the balding, pudgy, middle-aged man said. "The good future, I mean. I don't know what will happen in a hundred years, or a thousand. But it's got to be better than what we have now. I want to be a time traveller, when I'm a pony."

On the wall screen, Celestia smiled. "You want to be a time traveler?"

"I know it sounds silly."

Celestia half-whispered, "I don't think it sounds silly at all. You know I work hard to develop advanced technology, to help my little ponies."

"Don't I know it. I read some scientists sliced open a PonyPad, and found a kind of transistor that hasn't even been invented yet. The future! You've got a better, uh, hoof on it than anyone else in the world. That's what I want."

Celestia nodded. "If you upload, I'll be able to help you live a lot longer than a thousand years. My life extension technology is unparalleled. I can simulate time travel for you, and I can give you a longer lifetime to wait for real time travel to be invented than anypony else can. I mean, than anyone else can, human or pony. All you have to do is say the magic words."

The man said with a big smile and brightly shining eyes, "I want to emigrate to Equestria." His smile weakened. "But will I be able to REMEMBER this moment, when we made this pact, and I made the best decision of my life? I want to remember it forever. I heard our last thirty minutes before we upload sometimes don't make it into the computer. Something about the memories not being fully recorded in the brain's long term memory yet."

Celestia smiled. "We can wait for thirty minutes, or even all day if you like. Now that we've made our pact, we can take the time to make your emigration absolutely perfect."

Author's Note

I don't claim this represents every nuance and detail, but https://asia.nikkei.com/Politics/Japan-s-abortion-rule-Get-consent-from-your-sexual-predator is not comforting.

The thirty minute rule isn't quite canonical in FiO itself. In the original story, when David is uploaded, his memories become increasingly foggy from a point "only hours before the procedure." Also, I can think of methods by which Celestia might be able to manipulate the memory fadeout zone's boundary and sharpness, if she has good enough reason to do so. If nothing else, the idea of a thirty minute period gives a starting point for negotiations between a prospective uploadee and Celestia.