The Defenestration of Manehattan
The Defenestration of Manehattan
Count Shadow Wing was sick and tired of it all.
Ever since Princess Luna had been corrupted by Nightmare Moon and had been banished, her most loyal servants, the thestrals, had been mercilessly persecuted by commoners and nobility alike. Eschewed by society as servants of a mad demon, they were cast out by their fellow ponies. Shops and houses had been broken into and looted, with their owners being beaten within their own businesses and residences. Some were imprisoned by the Royal Guard for defending themselves, or even for baseless accusations; the trials for these were rigged in favor of the prosecution, and the sentence was never one of less than a year in jail with probation for the next five.
The count checked to see whether his sword was fastened to his barrel; it was.
He had had enough. The mayor of Manehattan, Urban Sprawl, had announced that all thestrals, including the nobility, were going to have their homes confiscated without compensation, and they would be banished from the city. The fact that a baron-level minor noble felt so entitled as to seize his property for no other reason than that he was a thestral - a "bat pony," in the eyes of the other three tribes - galled him to the core, especially since he was a Count with jurisdiction over the county in which Manehattan resided. To make it worse, the arrogant mayor claimed that Princess Celestia herself had given the order and that he was simply following it.
But it was more than mere loss of property or noble pride that galvanized him. Shadow Wing may have been harsh at times, but he was fair, and had done his best to protect all his subjects, thestral or otherwise, who were under his protection. Now his subjects were being savaged and robbed, without any justice whatsoever befalling the perpetrators.
That would end tonight.
"Sire, are we really doing this?"
The count turned to his subordinate, Starry Night, a thestral mare. "Yes, baroness. We are doing this."
"Well, what if..."
"What if what?"
"W-what if the order for our expulsion... really did come from... her."
"It didn't. I know Princess Celestia. She would never give that kind of command, ever. Baron Urban is lying, and I plan to demonstrate that with out actions tonight. I should have done this some time ago; he never did like us, and he never treated a thestral right. It's my fault he got so far out of hoof, and it's my job to fix it by replacing him."
"But when this reaches her ears... surely she'll support..."
"I agree it's going to be controversial, and all those sunlovers will tell our one remaining Princess all the lies they can about our actions. But I don't think she'll take any action without calling upon us to defend ourselves. And I won't be intimidated by some villain in pony skin like Urban."
Starry Night was silent for a moment.
"We can't just sit back and let this happen; unless we take action now, things like this will be done to our people all over the kingdom. However history judges our actions, I must protect my subjects and liberate them from this miniature tyrant."
An armored thestral flew up to him and saluted. "Lord Count, we are ready."
"Good." Shadow Wing raised his hoof and pointed it at the city. "Forward, and let no pony stop you!"
The denizens of Manehattan were largely asleep at this hour of the night, but those along the road could not fail to hear the galloping hooves or the leathery sounds of thestral wings in the air. Many awoke and came to their windows to see a curious - and to some, terrifying - procession; thestrals by the hundreds poured through the streets, occasionally joined by more of their number from among the citizenry. At their head galloped Shadow Wing, a sword at his hip and grim determination on his face.
A few Royal Guards belatedly got in their way, only to be subdued by thestral retainers who had been waiting for just such interference.
"Justice for the night! Justice for thestrals!" the leather-winged procession cried as they drove through the streets, surging like mad as they made straight for the central keep.
Shadow Wing barely felt any exhaustion within his body. Maybe it was adrenaline, but whatever the reason, despite galloping for miles, he felt stronger and more energetic than he had in a long time. He had deliberately chosen to run rather than fly in order to help spread the news; the thestrals weren't going to take abuse anymore, and the entire city would learned that in short order.
Before long, the hundreds of thestrals reached the keep in the center of the city. It was designed to keep out attackers in the case of the city being attacked, but it was barely manned, and only two Royal Guards stood by the gate.
"Halt!" one of them, a pegasus, ordered. "State your business."
"I am Count Shadow Wing, the lord of this county and this city. You, sir, shall let me into this, the keep of my vassal, at once!"
The Guard looked at Shadow Wing with contempt. "Baron Urban Sprawl is the only lord with any rule over this city. Thestrals are no longer lords, of this or any town in Equestria."
"Liar!" the Count yelled back. He drew his sword with a shod hoof and pointed it at the Guard. "Let me into this estate - my estate, which of late I gave to Baron Urban - or I will have you arrested for defying my will."
"By order of Princess Celestia, dispurse, or face prosecution!" the Guard roared back. "This is treason!" The other Guard, and earth pony, leveled a spear.
Shadow Wing turned to eight armored thestrals directly behind him. "You heard this rapscallion; he defies the rightful lord of this county entry into his own estate! Arrest him and his co-conspirator!"
All eight thestral warriors jumped upon the Guards. The fight was a short one; a few scrapes and bruises were exchanged, but the two Royal Guards were subdued, tied up, and gagged.
A unicorn on the battlements above looked over the wall. "Ho! What is this gathering?"
"It is I, Count Shadow Wing," the count declared. "Open the gates!"
The unicorn visibly shuffled. "I cannot, for fear of Her Majesty's vengeance."
"Then I shall arrest you as well. Open this gate, or you'll face prosecution by my hoof!"
The unicorn hesitated, then shouted over his shoulder, "Open the gate!"
The portcullis in front of the count began to rise. Before it had finished rising, the count and his host galloped into the keep, determined to find their persecutor.
"Yes, a splendid brand of tea, simply splendid," the light gray unicorn Urban Sprawl said, sipping his cup. "As you were saying?"
A gray pegasus named Sturdy Account stood with a sheet of paper held in his hoof. "I've managed to calculate how much the noble estates of the thestrals as well as all the houses and their businesses that shall be seized by your - I mean, by the order of the Crown."
Urban held up his cup in one hoof. "Go on."
"The crown stands to gain over 1.2 million bits from the common thestrals, and over 3.8 million from the seizure of the assets of the now former nobility. That's just an early estimate, you understand."
"Baron, if I may?" a brown unicorn named Magic Wisp asked.
"Speak."
"Sir, if word of this gets back to the Princess, I doubt she will take it well."
"Princess Celestia is too busy grieving over her sister's fate to look into what happens here," the baron replied with an air of dismissal. "The Royal Guard are on our side as well. By the time she starts to wake up from her misery-induced trance, this will all be done and we can frame it as we please. We can just say, for instance, that we uncovered a scheme by the thestrals, commoners and nobles alike, to overthrow Her Majesty's rule over this city and to bring back Nightmare Moon. The channels for communication can easily be intercepted and, er, corrected in order that only the truth reaches Her Highness. Any thestral protest or petition can be suppressed easily, with those same rabble-rousers thrown in the dungeon where they'll have no chance of being heard by the, ahem, proper authorities."
"What if they do revolt, sir? They make up a considerable number in this city alone."
"All the better. We can frame them all the more easily as ungrateful brutes who rebelled against lawful and benevolent authority. As I say, they'll be too dead or imprisoned for the lies they tell to reach the Crown."
"I doubt Count Shadow Wing will be happy, he being your direct superior."
"My former lord has no authority over me anymore," the baron insisted. "Nor will he have authority over anypony three days from now, after his estate is taken."
"I wonder if we're doing the right thing," Legal Accord, a tan earth pony, said. "I doubt that we can keep this whole plan from reaching Her Majesty's knowledge. Sooner or later, a bat pony or some other denizen from Manehattan could simply go to the palace and directly gain an audience there, and spill the beans on our operation."
"Hmph. I doubt that most non-thestrals would bother," Urban said contemptuously. "They hate the night and its servants. And no bat pony will be able to gain an audience with the Royal Guard standing between them and the throne. And even if either scenario did come to pass, we could always counter it with the... truth. Nopony is going to stand up for the thestrals, none of significant rank anyway, and our Princess is too besotted with sorrow to take any petitions should they reach her." He sipped from his cup, draining it. "By this time next month, I shall be count in Shadow Wing's place, and he will be a former lord to whom I can do as I please. It will be fitting to see him every day in my dungeon, mocking him for his failure to-"
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"What was...?" Sturdy asked, looking to the door.
"What could possibly be the matter at this blasted time of night?" Urban said, annoyed. "Tell them to-"
Slam!
The door burst wide open. In marched Shadow Wing and eight armored thestrals, along with several others.
Urban looked shocked for a moment, before allowing himself a smile. "Shadow Wing-"
"It's Count Shadow Wing, Urban Sprawl, and I have come to tell you that you, as my vassal, are hereby removed of your position as mayor of Manehattan."
Urban Sprawl laughed. "Did you not get the proclamation from the Crown? There are no thestral lords anymore, Shadow Wing. You are trespassing on my property. If you beg me, perhaps I can persuade the court to have some measure of mercy upon you for this disturbance."
Shadow Wing marched over and grabbed Urban by the neck, pulling the latter's face close to his own. "I told you, you are removed, former mayor. You can leave by your own hoof, or I can make you. And that proclamation is false; it not written by Her Majesty's hoof; I've gotten enough edicts to recognize her hoofwriting."
"Au Contraire, my former liege, I can assure you that it was written by Her Majesty's authority, if not by her own hoof."
"By the liars and scoundrels who seek to kill our people, you mean."
"By those who seek to punish the followers of Nightmare Moon for their allegiance, Shadow Wing; there is a difference."
"Her Majesty would never have given such an order! I know her quite well. It is thestral-hating fools like you who wrote those edicts, not Princess Celestia."
"My my, such denial," Urban said, trying to get free of Shadow's grasp and still smiling even so. "You've done nothing but make yourself a criminal. I'd be surprised if the Court does not give you a harsh sentence for this violence."
Shadow Wing dropped Urban, who got to his hooves.
Then the count punched the baron squarely in the face.
Urban Sprawl hollered as he hit the ground.
"Count!" a voice from the rear shouted, "Twelve Guards are on their way!"
"Barricade the door! Don't let anypony come in unless it's one of our people!"
Two thestrals shut the door as others - dozens of others - prepared to meet the Guards head on.
"You're only delaying the inevitable, Shadow," Urban said, rubbing his face where the count had hit him. "Those twelve won't be the first."
"I have hundreds with me tonight, former baron; I can assure you, I can hold them off as long as I need to deal with you and your confederates."
For the first time, a bit of color drained from the baron's face, but he rallied almost at once. "And? All this will do is legitimize my actions; bat ponies are violent, brutish thugs who have tried to take over a loyal Equestrian city. That won't look good on your record."
"I care nothing for my record, Urban; all I care about right now is passing sentence upon you."
The count turned to his soldiers. "Bind the wings of the pegasus and put an anti-magic ring on my former vassal and on the other unicorn. And bind the earth pony."
The eight soldiers moved to do what he'd ordered. There was another struggle; the baron attempted to burn one of the soldiers, and the other unicorn attempted to levitate himself out of the way before being tackled. But their resistance was in vain. All four were bound, with the three secretaries being bound and gagged completely.
"You're only-"
"SHUT UP!" Shadow Wing shouted, slapping Urban Sprawl across the face. He calmed down and backed away slightly, fury still upon his face. "For crimes against ponykind, for usurping my authority and claiming it as your own, for failure to protect the denizens of this fair city from crimes most wicked, for publishing lies and for illegal seizure of assets, for deliberately bringing harm to this city and above all for conspiracy against the Crown of Equestria, I, Count Shadow Wing, pronounce sentence upon you; you are no longer my vassal and are bereft of any and all titleage and privileges of your former position. Henceforth, you are no longer a noble, but a common pony, and are hereby banished from any and all lands under my authority, including the city of Manehattan. I also confirm Starry Night as Baroness of Manehattan, with all the rights and privileges thereof."
A-are you sure?" Starry Night asked, coming up on Shadow Wing's left.
"Never more so," he replied, turning briefly to her.
Urban smiled snidely again. "Your legal jargon will do you and your fellow conspirators no good, my former count. I have been given full authority by the Crown to do what is necessary for Equestria, including everything pertaining to you bat ponies. You have no authority here, sir; look at the papers upon my desk, if you will; they will prove me right."
One of the soldiers picked up the papers Urban had mentioned. "Lord Count, he's right," he said. "It says here that by Royal Authority that Urban was given all powers necessary to 'keep order' within Manehattan, including our expulsion. It also says that any action that is taken in defiance of his orders will be condemned and suppressed by the Crown; in effect, the city is under martial law until we've been removed from the scene. It also prohibits anypony who has been evicted from appealing the decision to the Crown."
Shadow Wing glared at Urban Sprawl. "You and your anti-thestral friends in Canterlot made that load of manure up. That's not from Her Majesty."
"What proof do you have, former count? I have the authority to do as necessary by the Crown and its advisory council; you've been dispossessed, and have not only trespassed upon this keep, but also on this city, and have illegally bound and mistreated representatives of the Crown. By the time the courts are done with you, you'll be fortunate to just spend the rest of your days in the darkest prison."
"Not if I and my thestrals have anything to say about it." He turned to the soldier nearest the right wall. "Open the window."
As the soldier began to obey, Urban's face began to whiten. "W-what are you doing!?"
"Giving you the punishment you deserve, one that all of Equestria will take notice of." He raised a hoof. "Throw them all out the window!"
A cry of panic from Urban and muffled screams from the secretaries were ignored by the Count's soldiers as they carried all for to the window. They hurled Sturdy Account first, followed by Magic Wisp and then Legal Accord.
Shadow Wing personally dragged Urban to the window. "Send the fiends in your next life my regards," he said, and tossed the former baron out the window three-story window.
A loud, long scream pierced the night sky, followed by a sudden silence.
One of the thestrals looked down, and then recoiled. "Uh, sir... I think I see them walking away."
"What?"
"Lord Count, it looks like they fell into a manure cart that was under the window. The cart's busted, but the crud broke their fall. They're stumbling away."
"Should we follow them?" Starry Night asked.
"...No," the Count said. "Let them run and tell Canterlot - let them tell all Equestria - what we've done. I'll defend our actions. In the meantime, I want this keep secured. Any Guards who refuse to obey my authority are to be placed within the dungeon. I want this city and its militia under our control."
"Won't that be rebellion, Lord Count?" one of the soldiers asked.
"No. We're defending the true Crown, of both Princess Celestia and our precious Princess Luna, from rebels. We'll hold the city long enough for a fair hearing to reach Her Majesty."
"It'll be hard to defend throwing four ponies out a window," Starry said worryingly.
"Maybe. But defending my subjects and their rights comes before my personal comforts. That's what all nobles are obliged to do, even when some, like those cretins we've tossed, forget it. Tonight, we've given a message to Equestria that the thestrals living in this land will not tolerate this oppression by the wicked councilors of Her Majesty anymore, and that we'll fight to defend her rule and our subjects from their usurpation."
Three months later
Princess Celestia sat in her chair in the courtroom. Before her stood an unapologetic Count Shadow Wing, along with Starry Night and numerous thestrals.
The Defenestration of Manehattan, as it was being called, had nearly been followed by civil war. After taking control of Manehattan and raising a modified banner of the Two Sisters, Count Shadow Wing's forces had scoured the city and imprisoned all ponies who had mistreated thestrals, though not without justification; nopony who was innocent had been jailed. But the Royal Guard from nearby towns had come to the city and demanded the surrender of the Count and his army.
Naturally, Shadow Wing had refused, and fighting broke out. A clash at Black Hill near the city had led to a rebel defeat, but the Count had rallied his forces and managed to repulse an assault upon Manehattan itself. Hundreds had been killed on both sides, with thousands wounded.
Urban Sprawl and his secretaries had come straight to Canterlot after being tossed out the window, arguing that Count Shadow Wing was in revolt and claiming that royal authority was being openly defied by followers of Nightmare Moon.
Despite her grieving heart, Celestia had bestirred herself and had ordered a truce. She had offered safe passage for the Count from Manehattan, which he had accepted. Her councilors had warned her not to do this, but she had ignored their advice.
The trial had been... interesting. Urban Sprawl, his secretaries, and many councilors had attacked Shadow Wing, accusing him of inciting a revolt and of stirring up the thestrals, who were portrayed as disloyal subjects who wanted to overthrow their one remaining Princess.
Shadow Wing's defense had been straight to the point, with his defense bringing numerous defendants to the stand. They included eyewitnesses to the storming of the keep and of the events within it, with Shadow Wing's speeches being a particular concern to the defenders.
Above all, Shadow Wing had maintained his loyalty to the Crown, asserting that those who were mistreating thestrals needed to be taught that this behavior was not going to go unpunished, and that it was his duty to protect the Crown's interests against selfish abusers who undermined Celestia's rule for their own interests and out of their prejudices.
Having heard both the prosecution and the defense, she rose to her hooves and walked up to the podium in front of her. A hush fell upon all.
"We have heard of the events of this past April," she said at last. "We have heard the evidence of both sides. Now is time for the verdict.
"We admit, to Our dishonor, that these past months We allowed Our sorrow for Our departed sister to overcome Our sense of duty, and that We allowed villains and false servants to rule in Our stead. This, along with Our ignorance of Our dear sister, was a grave error, and has directly led to the death, injury, and mistreatment of Our subjects. With Ourselves being ignorant, willful or otherwise, of the actions of those We had entrusted with power to govern in Our name, We have begotten ruin unto those loyal to the Crown.
"This said, We acknowledge that the actions of Count Shadow Wing were of vigilante 'justice,' a justice that has no place within Our kingdom. We acknowledge that his actions in defenestrating Urban Sprawl, Magic Wisp, Legal Accord, and Sturdy Account are against the justice and laws of the kingdom, and that this cannot, however passionate the Count's actions at the time may have been, go unpunished."
Shadow Wing bowed his head.
"Therefore, We judge that Count Shadow Wing's lands shall be split, with Manehattan taken evermore out of his jurisdiction, and a new County of Manehattan shall be formed. Additionally, for attempted murder, the Count shall answer with ten years in prison, with a regency under his son to be established to rule his remaining lands in his stead."
At this, Urban Sprawl looked triumphant, and sneered at Shadow Wing, whose head remained bowed.
"The new Countess for Manehattan will be the thestral Starry Night, former baroness under Count Shadow Wing."
That wiped the smile off Urban Sprawl's face.
"Furthermore, We judge that the actions of Urban Sprawl and his confederates, in Manehattan, in Canterlot, and within the Royal Guard to be wicked and abusive towards Our subjects, whose tears and misery causes Our heart to bleed much pity. Henceforth, they are stripped of all noble office and powers, which shall not be returned to them; Urban Sprawl is sentenced to thirty years within the Canterlot dungeons, with his secretaries given ten years; all offenders within this, Our government, and within Our kingdom, shall be rounded up and prosecuted in like manner as these past ten days. We hereby decree and command that all subjects of the Crown, whether they be earth pony, unicorn, pegasus, or thestral, have equal rights and privileges under Our government, with law and order due to them, and none shall be mistreated or falsely accused of a crime except at the risk of the false accuser. All shall have the right to be heard within Our court, and none shall be rejected. Thus We speak, and thus We judge." The Princess banged the gavel. "This trial is now dissolved."
Royal Guards immediately walked up to Urban Sprawl and those who had conspired with him. Likewise, a pair of Royal Guards came up to Shadow Wing, who kneeled toward the Princess.
"Thank you, Your fair and just Majesty, for hearing my case and freeing my people."
Celestia's eyebrow rose. "You would thank Us, even though We sentence you to ten years in prison?"
"Yes, and I'd willingly take ten more. You've vindicated all innocent thestrals, including all my subjects to whom you've graciously given me sovereignty over for the sake of the Crown. I wish my actions had not been necessary, but the kingdom needed to awaken from it's slumber, and I regret nothing of that night."
"We are saddened that We must punish you, Count," Celestia said, shaking her head sadly. "You show a valiant, loyal, and truly noble spirit that We only wish the rest of Our subjects would emulate, great and small. But defenestration is a form of murder, or attempted murder as in this case, and you acted without the Crown's knowledge, consent or judgment on this matter."
Shadow Wing only bowed his head once more.
Celestia turned to the Guards, who had gathered the others who were to be imprisoned. "Send them away that their sentences may be served."
As the Guards escorted the prisoners away, Celestia felt sorrow and determination arise within her. She really was sad to have to jail Count Shadow Wing, even though by law he was guilty. Furthermore, she realized how much her sorrow and guilt had separated her from her subjects and kingdom.
"We vow never to allow Our private sorrows to be a stumbling block to Our rule," she said quietly.
It would be a vow she never forgot.
Author's Note
This story was inspired by the Second Defenestration of Prague in 1618, which started the Thirty Years' War that was a large subject in my recent history class this past semester. This story is the first in a series that mirrors real-life events and places them in an Equestrian context.
