Ignorance is Bliss

by TwinAttorney864

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Sunset Shimmer, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart, Princess Cadance
Length: 1185

Cadence is ignorant

Cadence is ignorant of anything that Flurry Heart does to the kingdom. Shining doesn't know what he feels about that.

A late submission to the Cadance Is A Terrible Mom - 2021 Competition - Fimfiction. This will also be the first competition that I enter into!

Published 2021-04-25 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-25 20:40:01 UTC

CADANCE!

*Insert baby noises here cause I don't know how to write them* could be heard around the entire castle.

For the guards, it would send down fear of dread, that their thought-to-be normal day was not suddenly cut off.

For the maids and butlers, it was a sign of annoyance and a sign to start calling up repair ponies and plumbers.

For the average populace, it was a sign of confusion, for they had no clue of the horrors that plagued the inside of the Crystal Tower.

For Flash Sentry, a new guard pony on the job, it was an unknown sign, though one he should that with great care if his colleague's actions taught him anything.

For Shining Armour, it was a sign to prepare for another large expenditure in the Empire's budget, as well as to begin yelling at the guards.

For Princess Cadance, it was time to wake up.

Monday

The fire alarm broke out in the kitchen.

Cooks and fire ponies ran about, using water spells or buckets to quell the flaming kitchen.

Guards went ahead to try and assist them, though they often had to stop to deal with any bolts of flame.

Flash Sentry was trying to escort some of the Chef Assistants out of the pantry.

Shining Armour began preparing to buy the Empire another fire station.

Cadance was giggling her flank off.

"Oh, my sweet Flurry is trying to learn how to cook for herself now!" She giggled, spinning FLurry around as said baby was launching random food, cookware, or flames at the other ponies.

Shining facepalmed.

Tuesday

The library was in disarray.

Librarians and guard ponies battled monsters and villains jumping straight out of the books. In the distance, a Whilhelm scream could be heard as a Venus Fly Trap ate a librarian.

Flash Sentry was flying around, kicking at the fly monsters and letting his Unicorn guards hold them down.

Shining Armour made battle at a couple of shadow ponies alongside a girl version of himself in the 'Fanfiction' section of the library. Turns out, even female him had problems related to her husband and their kid at home.

This time, Sunset Shimmer was there. Having been visiting the Empire at the suggestion of Twilight to learn more about the kingdom's history, she was caught up in the fight between a ghost of Sir John Clopstaff and the ghost of BlackMane. She bobbed and weaved, trying to run through the two of them to get out of the library.

Cadance was in the middle of the non-fiction section, having teatime with the ghosts of Chancellor Puddinghead and Princess Platinum as Flurry was on her back, firing of speel after a spell on the books.

"Don't worry darling, Flurry is just playing with her imagination!" She called out, as her husband was locked in battle with female Sombra (Seriously, how did they have enough books to make a fanfiction section of the library?)

Wednesday

This time, it was in the throne room.

An emissary of the Yaks had come from the north, wanting to trade for the crystals the ponies had so they can build houses out of them.

Unfortunately, Flurry had swiped a sip of her mother's coffee that morning.

For Flash Sentry, it was yet another day of having to smash and destroy the falling crystal shards before they hit any pony.

For Sunset Shimmer, it was also a day of having to dodge the tiny shards Flash didn't catch and catching them before they hit the floor.

For the maids, they all facepalmed, and immediately decided instead to go ahead and prepare a petition to get paid more. They weren't about to risk their lives for a measly 20 bits an hour.

For the guards, they all just opted to go home instead of having to deal with the idiocracy of the day's troubles.

For Shining Armour, he was attempting to convince his guards to stay and help, for being the Prince of the Empire was only an honorary title and held no power in itself.

For Princess Cadance, she was cooing at Flurry Heart, as the baby continued shooting off more beams of energy.

"Aww, my little baby knows how to destroy crystals, oh yes she does, oh yes she does!" She cooed, as the alicorn baby giggled and shot off more beams.

Needless to say, the Yaks didn't need to trade for any more crystals, nor did they want to.

Thursday

A former maid at the Crystal Tower once gave some very wise advice to a newbie when their first day came up "Never let the baby into the potion room."

Said maid did not listen, and was woefully ignorant when she left the door to the potion room open and didn't see Flurry crawl inside.

On a completely unrelated note, did you know that the water pump to the rest of the Tower was in the room right next to the potions room?

Yep

That day, Flash Sentry turned into a girl and blew his entire bank account he meticulously kept track of within the day on shoes, makeup, and fashion magazines (The sellers took the products back, completely understanding the problems that came with working in the Tower)

Sunset Shimmer somehow turned into her human form and spent the next three hours running after Flurry Heart, who thought she was a minotaur. She would not be recognized and would be sedated by Tower guards until Celestia picked her up at the end of the day.

Shining Armour decided that today was a good day to crack open the wine cellar.

Cadance was giggling AGAIN as she gave Flurry random ingredients to pour into the potions and mix.

"Aww, my little baby wants to learn potions!"

Friday

...
...
...

Nothing

There was nothing

Naturally, this made many ponies skeptical, and many feared what had happened to Flurry Heart and her idiot antics today.

Flash Sentry, being the bravest of them all, elected to enter the Princess's chambers. Inside, there was Flurry Heart, casually knawing on her father's ceremonial broadsword.

He awwed, before entering the kitchen to make some food for the baby. As he poured the baby mix with water, Cadence walked into the kitchen.

"Flash, what are you making?" She raised a skeptical eyebrow.

He sent her a questioning look, before holding up the box of baby food he was using.

With a gasp, Cadance opened a window and threw out the baby mix and the box.

"Are you kidding me?" She exclaimed, "That food has iron in it, you could have killed her!!"

With a sigh, Cadance trotted out of the kitchen, muttering something about 'you could have hurt my daughter' or something else.

Flash, having enough of this for the rest of his life, send in a transfer request to Princess Twilight's guard instead.

Author's Note

I timed myself. This took me about thirty minutes to write.

The life of a procrastinator everyone. If you wait until the last minute to do it, it would only take a minute to do it.