“So, where would you like to start off, Miss. Marble?”

Marble sat in the same room her elder sister sat in, but she was alone with the interviewer. Something was different though. Unlike usual she had the pose of a person with a bit more confidence, as opposed to her normal shy demeanor.

Like her sister, she too was dressed in black, with her T-shirt having their band logo on it. Visible cuts also ran down her arm but were were deeper than Lime’s. Her hair was tied to a bun and had black dyed tips. Her nails were painted black, which was unusual for her, as she often refused to ever get them done.

“Well,” began the young woman, “let me start where I first got my social phobia, and I will jump back to the night where my sister found me cutting myself with her knife.”

Marble Pie was eighteen years old, the youngest of the Pie sisters, with Lime being the oldest. She had a twin sister, Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was three minutes older than Marble.

All throughout their childhood, Marble was known for being quiet, but that was not always the case. She wasn’t born with social anxiety, but like any other social phobia, she developed one after a bad experience. Truth be told, she was just like Pinkie but this soon changed when she was a lad in 1st grade.

Pinkie and Marble had separate classes at that time. For the first time in what seemed like ages to them, they were separated. Pinkie, as per usual, was making friends wherever she went. Marble on the other hand, was struggling a bit. She had, at first, nice interactions with the other students, and some of them would even play with her during recess and talked to her during lunch.

This all changed one day. It was a muggy grey day, an odd atmosphere. It was during German class. The region the school was located had a hefty German population, and even though English was slowly but surely replacing it, the young children were still taught German. Now, the Pie sisters were often quick learners when it came to languages; Pinkie herself managed to become fluent in Mongolian during a one-month student exchange program to Mongolia in 10th grade.

So it was no surprise that both Pinkie and Marble had an advanced understanding in German, as their parents and grandparents taught it to them. Everyone in class was amazed.

Well, almost everyone.

A boy by the name of Bӓrenfang Knackwurst was envious of Marble’s grasp on the language. He grew to be annoyed by her semi-bubbly attitude, her good grades, and the fact that her sister was quite popular.

During the gray muggy day, Marble and Pinkie were playing at the school playground. When Pinkie went inside to use the bathroom, Marble encountered Knackwurst.

“Hallo, Knackwurst,” the smiling Pie said. “Want to play in the sandbox with me?”

The young black-haired boy looked at her. His stomach infested with butterflies, and his palms coated in sweat. His breathing was off-beat. Marble noticed he looked off; usually he was more open. She got up and approached the boy.

“Knackwurst, Geht es dir gut?”

With that phrase, something in the young boy snapped, and he punched Marble. The punch connected to her face and knocked her down to the sand box. Marble slowly looked up, rubbing her jaw with tears slowly swelling up in her eyes.

“Knackwurst… Warum?”

He kicked her in her abdomen, causing Marble to gasp out painfully.

“J-JUST STOP IT!” yelled the boy. “STOP BEING SO GOOD! I HATE YOU! YOU’RE SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING! AND I’M NOT!”

Marble slowly got up and looked at her classmate. She was used to anger like this; Limestone and Maud would often get angry at each other or their parents and lose their temper. Marble knew he didn’t mean it, so what she did next was what she would’ve normally done with her older sister’s. She slowly approached him for a hug. Knack just looked at her, waves of shuddering spindles tickling him, mixed with the intense burning boiling in his soul.

“Knack,” she started, “you are a good person. I like you; I want to be your friend.”

That is when it went red for Knack, he pushed her on the ground and kicked sand on her. “I don’t want to be your friend! I hate you! Everyone in class only likes you because you’re smart; they all secretly hate you! I should know, they tell me!”

Knack was lying but to Marble that seemed like the truth; she would often hear kids whispering behind her, and she had a sneaking fear that they were gossiping about her.

“We all hate you Marble! We only like Pinkie! Everyone hates how you speak German so well! They all call you a kiss up! So stop it!” Knack yelled.

Both kids looked at each other. Marble was starting to cry and Knack, well he was holding it back but he wanted to break down too.

Marble started to talk once again “B-but, I wan—“

“Just shut up!” yelled Knack. “If you keep talking, I’ll, I’ll… I’ll keep beating you up! And all the kids will stop pretending!”

Marble was confused and immensely frightened; before she could say anything, an opening door was heard, Knack and Marble looked at the general direction and saw Pinkie skipping out. Knack hightailed it out of there while Marble was left lying in the sand crying. From that day she would speak little and become very wary of people talking behind her back. She feared talking to others and would think people were easily annoyed by her. The only time she felt safe talking was with her family. Even Lime’s harsh exterior wouldn’t hurt her; well, not at first.

“Hold on,” began the interviewer, “isn’t Knack your—?”

“Yes.” Marble smiled. “But we will get to that part later.”

“So, this is where you think it started? Your social anxiety?”

“Yes, and it got worse as time went on.”

Marble’s anxiety grew worse overtime and with it came consequences. Her grades faltered and she withdrew from socializing. A nothingness began to grow in the pit of her chest, eating at her. She became isolated and estranged, even to her family. Pinkie, Maud, and Lime would do their best to help her but to no avail.

The sisters would even try to ask the young Pie what made her so isolated but Marble wouldn’t reveal why. The older sisters made a vow; Pinkie, Maud, and Lime concluded that someone bullied Marble to isolation, and if they ever met that person, one of them would teach them a lesson. Yet they would never know that the bully was right under their noses—that is until high school.

By then things started to change for the better. During winter break, the Apple family came to visit the Pie family after a discovery of them being quite distant relatives. Even though things were rocky at first, they ended up getting along with one another. The black void within Marble’s chest felt as if it went away.

She even formed a crush on one of the Apples, Big Mac. Both were people of few words and both seemed to have some chemistry. Despite him being three years older than her, they seemed to have formulated a bond that was seen in only fairy tales. From then on, Marble started to slowly come out of her shell. All seemed good in the world, until…

Marble and Pinkie were in their senior year and it was again winter break. This time the Pies visited the Apples on their farm. White snow covered the emerald grass. The cool atmosphere was welcomed as it healed the people’s souls from the infestation of the wretched humidity that had plagued the citizens of Equestira.

When the Pies arrived, they were welcomed by the Apples along with new faces such as Grand Pear, Babs, Sunflower, and Sugar Belle, Big Mac’s girlfriend.

When Marble witnessed them kissing, her heart felt it had been ripped out and stabbed by the Ripper himself. She was devastated; she spent the rest of the day alone in one of the Apples’ rooms, crying. The one time she felt like she had a connection with someone outside her immediate family was snuffed out. And with that, a familiar feeling returned.

Every time, she thought. Every time I feel like a connection is building, it turns out I was wrong. I hate feeling this empty. I thought this went away years ago.

“Marble?” a deep voice asked. The gray girl looked up and saw it was Big Mac.

“Marble, are you ok?”

Big Mac approached her, but Marble just stood up and ran past him, crying. The young man grabbed her arm before she could leave the room. Marble turned around to meet his concerned gaze and broke down. “FUCK OFF!”

“W-what?”

“You heard me. Fuck off! You have your whore and I see how much she makes you happy. I was a damn idiot thinking anything could’ve happen between u—”

Marble was cut off by Big Mac’s embrace. She broke down crying as he gently brushed her hair. “I know we had something, but things change,” he said softly. “You’re a beautiful young woman Marble; you’ll find someone. Someone better than me.”

“But what if I don’t?” she asked, choking on her tears.

“You will,” he assured her. “If someone as quiet as me can find someone, I’m sure as hell someone like you will meet the perfect gal or guy. Just keep your head up; it’ll get better.”

On the surface, this should have cheered her up. She stopped crying and returned to her family, but at the back of her head the anxiety kept telling her that she would always be alone and that no one will like her.

On the same night at the hotel, Marble, Pinkie, Maud, and Lime shared a room while their parents stayed at another one on the floor above them. When they were all asleep, Marble was in the bathroom, crying.

“Please, please just go away,” she cried softly to herself. “Please, just leave my body. I don’t want this feeling to stay.”

Marble continued to cry. She thought music would help, so she took out her phone and looked up sad songs. All of them looked the same to her until one perceluiar song came up, a foreign one. The song was titled “Du er Alene” by Make a Change… Kill Yourself.

Marble could easily translate the title as “you are alone”but this band had a strange name, so bleak and forward, yet oddly welcoming. She listened to the nine-minute song and it was like a warm blanket had been wrapped around her brain, hugging her tightly as if the music was speaking for her. She looked up this band and found that they were part of a subgenre of another subgenre of metal, DSBM, or depressive suicidal black metal. She learned that bands of this elk often wrote songs of hopelessness, self-hatred, sex, depression, and other things. She began to listen to other DSBM bands such as Silencer, Sterbend, Bethlehem, and Forgotten Tomb.

Each song eased Marble’s mind but drew her closer to a darker place. Time flew as she delved deeper and deeper into the dark alluring pit, listening to the bleak music of pained people, taking note that one of the common things they would do was self-mutilation. Canterlot High students would talk about how people cut themselves to free them from the pain. Marble was curious if that were the case; she knew Lime had a stiletto switchblade in her traveling bag for protection.

Marble exited the bathroom and looked in the closet for her oldest sister’s handbag, making sure to keep quiet so as to not wake the other girls. Upon finding it, she ran back to the bathroom and locked the door. She activated the knife, releasing the shiny metal blade. She looked at Lime’s stiletto, contemplating.

Her vision blurred and her legs went numb as the blade inched closer and closer to her arm. Placing it on her wrist, Marble slices at her skin twice. There was a stinging sensation but it soon subsided, and what leaked out next was the crimson liquid that traveled through the stream of her arm. Marble’s vision cleared and the emptiness within her chest slowly withered away. She had finally found a way to fend off the darkness, but as with any other form of addiction to free oneself from pain, she soon found herself doing it repeatedly. Everyday after school, she would use either her father’s razor blades or her sister’s knife to slice into her flesh.

The cuts started off light but soon progressed deeper and deeper. With each injury came the liberating sensation of leaving the pain of life. Marble was now enthralled with DSBM, purchasing CDs from the record store. She would soon find a job, tending animals with Fluttershy, and she would use money to buy more CDs. Marble would find sites and message boards that would talk about the music. Through them she learned about shoegaze and blackgaze and got into other bands. Even Fluttershy took note of her taste in extreme music.

One Friday, Marble and Fluttershy were in the break room talking. “So,” began the yellow skinned girl, “Deicide released a new album. Despite the vocals being better than the last one, I really wish they did more than sing about blasphemy. Hell, I haven’t heard them sing about anything else since their debut, and that was back in 1990.”

“I’m not really into them,” Marble replied. “I’m not a big fan of death metal in general, except for bands like Deathand Paranorm.”

“Oh, that’s right, I keep forgetting you’re more into black metal and shoegaze.”

“Yeah. Speaking of which, do you know any good bands that sing about depression?” asked Marble.

“Sorry Marble. I like black metal but I’m not a huge fan of DSBM. While I like some songs from that genre, I’m not into the whole depressive atmosphere. It reminds me of my past. Before Twilight came,” Flutter explained.

“I see,” said Marble.

“I’m not saying you can’t like it,” said Flutter, “but it's not my cup of tea… Actually, there is a shoegaze band I like that often sings about depression.”

“Really?” Marble asked, eager to hear.

“Yeah! They have an odd name though, but then again, most of the bands I listened to also have… creative names,” Fluttershy chuckled. “They’re called An Autumn for Crippled Children.”

Marble laughed. “That’s an interesting name.”

“They don’t post their lyrics, they don’t allow photos of the members, and they never perform live. But from what Encyclopaedia Metallum says, they talk about anguish, depression, anger, and love. Their music is quite beautiful, I think you would like them,” said Flutter.

“Interesting,” replied Marble.

Fluttershy’s phone buzzed. “Well, our break’s over. I’ll talk to you after work.”

“Alright, thanks for the recommendation.”

After work, Marble went down the street to the record store and looked for any album by Autumn for Crippled Children, and with luck she found one, Try Not to Destroy Everything You Love.

When she got home, she went to her room, put the CD in the DVD/CD player, and plugged in her headphones. She was taken away by the angelic tones mixed with the depressive atmosphere of the instruments. Each song hit differently and filled her with a pleasure she hadn’t yet experienced. Again, the pit within her chest filled back up and had remained filled for quite a while. Marble began to feel a little happier; she even started to talk to some of the people at school. All seemed right again.

It was 1:59 am, January 21st. Marble was fast asleep but was soon awakened by a strange rumble. Something wasn't right. Was this the legendary sense that ran through her family? She turned over to see that Limestone wasn’t in her’s. She thought Lime had gotten up to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water until she heard someone retching downstairs.

Marble went to investigate. Perhaps her mother had gotten sick. Worried, she looked through the open doorway and saw not her mom but Limestone.

“Limestone?” Marble asked nervously. Limestone turned to look at her sister. Traces of the bile dribbled from her lips.

“Limestone a-a-are you ok?” Marble nervously asked.

“Nothing’s wrong Marble. Go back to bed,” said Lime flatley.

Obviously, Marble knew that she was lying. “But I hear—”

“YOU HEARD NOTHING, NOW GO BACK TO BED!” Lime demanded.

Usually yelling would break Marble but knowing that this was a cry for help, she held her ground. She slowly approached her big sister. Lime got up and slowly backed away only to hit the wall. Marble embraced her, Lime breaking down and crying. They soon went back to bed, but that event stayed in Marble’s mind. All throughout the night and at school.

Marble’s thoughts drowned out all other noises; even the boisterous voice of her older twin wasn’t strong enough to snap her out of it. For hours, the scene replayed through her head, each time leading her to a darker place than before. This is when the familiar foe began to molest her once again.

“Marble,” came a voice. “Marble. Marble. MARBLE!” The yelling snapped her back to reality. A young woman with bacon-colored hair called her name. They were in German 3010, doing a group assignment. Marble doesn’t remember being paired with her, but it so seems like this familiar face was her partner.

“Sorry,” Marble said sheepishly. “I was miles off.”

“I’ll say; you’ve been like that almost this entire class. Are you alright? You seem more out of it, more than usual,” the orange woman asked.

“Yeah, just… stayed up a bit late last night.”

“Ah, I understand that feeling. I used to do that until last year. Trust me, you don’t want to get into the habit of staying up too late, unless you’re Twilight or Wallflower,” she explained.

“You know Twilight and Wallflower?” Marble asked.

“Yeah, Twilight’s my best friend and Wallflower’s my girlfriend. I thought you knew; I’m Pinkie’s friend after all.”

Marble realized whom she was talking to: Sunset Shimmer, the once infamous bully at her school.

“Oh yeah, you’re Sunset. Sorry, today’s been an off day for me.”

Sunset’s expression went from cheerful to empathetic. “Yeah, I hear that. It’s been a rough couple days for me too. Just been having these dreams…but I don’t want to bother you with the details; we have to focus on our regional project.”

Marble had a quizzical look on her face. “Regional?”

“Geez, you’ve been out of it. So, each group has a region to pick from a German speaking country. We got Austria and our region is Styria and…”

As Sunset continued to explain the project, Marble’s breath began to go shallow, her heart’s pace picked up, and her palms grew sweaty.

“Yeah, I know it's nerve wracking,” Sunset continued, snapping Marble out of her trance. “It has my heart up too; I’m not so big on history.” Marble just gave a weak smile and nodded her head. The two did their work and traded phone numbers so they could keep each other updated for the project.

After school, Pinkie drove Marble back to the rock farm. “You sure you don’t want to live with Maud and I? Having three sisters will be the bestest thing ever!” Pinkie said.

“No, I’m sure; I don’t want to be a burden, plus Maud, Ma, and Pa are already paying for the house's expenses.”

“Aw, PSHH! It’s no big deal, Maude even said she wishes you and Limey could stay with us!”

“Really?” asked Marble.

“You should’ve seen her face Marble! She was happy thinking about you and Limestone living with us.”

Marble would have loved to live with her sisters, but she felt as if she and Lime were responsible for helping their parents on the farm. When they arrived at their destination, they were greeted by Igneous. “Pinkamena, Marble, Meine Kleinen.” He embraced each daughter, planting a kiss on their foreheads. “How was school?”

“Oh my God oh my God oh my God! So, today…” As Pinkie rambled on, Marble took note of Lime, and saw her breaking down a rock. She wanted to talk to her about last night but

—the shivers held her tongue, and the demon within taunted her—

didn’t know how to go about it. She approached Lime, but as she came closer, Marble noticed that the rock she was picking at was already broken, and all that Lime was hitting was the ground. Each hit shook the earth under their feet, and the eyes of the woman that held the pickax resembled ones of someone on edge, just waiting for the next poor soul to poke them.

“Lime,” Marble said, but she got no reply. “Lime…Lime. Lime!”

Limestone snapped out of her trance and looked up at Marble.

“Oh, hey Marble. How was school?” Lime asked.

“Good. Pinkie and her friends say hello,”

Lime grunted and went back to work, still not noticing the rock was already obliterated. “Uh, Lime,” Marble timidly said. Limestone didn’t hear. “Lime…Limestone!”

With a fierce swing, Limestone struck the ground with her pickaxe, and looked up to her sister with a foreboding gaze.

“WHAT!?”

A cold force ran through Marble’s back as she slowly moved away.

“That rock’s already been broken down,” she pointed out.

Limestone looked at the rock and spat on the ground. She turned around and headed for the house. “I’m going inside to get something to eat. I’ll do this later,” she said as she dropped the ax.

Now’s the chance, thought Marble.

“Hey, Lime, about earlier this morning?” Limestone stopped but didn’t bother to look in her sister’s direction. Marble gulped, her arms felt like noodles, and she felt like she was underwater, as her vision blurred. Nevertheless, Marble forced the question out of her mouth. “Do you want to talk about it?”

There was a moment of silence between the two. The anxiety picked away at her mind, infecting the young woman’s brain once more, but momentarily stopped as she heard Lime give a gruff, “Marble, please stay out of my business. Don’t you have homework or some shit to do? Focus on that or else you’ll fail.” And with that, she continued heading back to the house.

Marble stood there, frozen. The void in her chest slowly grew and the anxiety crept ever so slightly through her brain, whispering to her about the horrible things that Lime really meant. In a futile attempt, Marble tried to push the demons back, and went inside the house.

For the rest of the evening, Marble worked on her project and texted Sunset about her progress. She ate dinner with Cloudy as Lime and Igneous were out on a business meeting. After dinner she had a shower and lied in bed trying to push away the negative thoughts that were trying to control her.

Please, stop. I don’t want to be bothered anymore. She looked at her CD set at the tail end of her bed. Music usually helps. She reached for her music stand and pulled out her recently bought An Autumn for Crippled Childrenalbum. She got up from bed and went to the closet to get out a pair of headphones. She then went to her side of the room and turned on the CD player as she sat down. Please, help me fight this, Marble desperately thought as she hit the play button.

As the music played, the nothingness and anxiety slowly retreated. Her eyes closed, her breathing in rhythm, and her noose feeling warm. Forty-four minutes of pure bliss embracing the soul. At the end of the album, she noticed it was ten o’clock, and the bags weighed heavily on her eyes. She slowly got up and walked towards the heavenly mattress, but was soon interrupted.

“Marble! Igneous and Lime have returned!” Cloudy called. “If you’re still up, how about you come down and greet them. I’m sure after a long meeting they would be incredibly happy to have their loved ones back!”

Marble’s heart dropped as the anxiety came back in full force. Ok, just go down and say hello and then you can go back to bed.

Marble put on a fake smile and headed downstairs, only for her sister to run past her. “Lime?” Marble asked but she got no response.

The young one continued her trek downstairs to ask why Lime was upset, but when she arrived at the great room, her father looked at her and already knew what her inquiry was.

“Youngest one, your elder sister acted out of turn, albeit she did say what I was thinking. It would probably be best if you go up and comfort her; we have been given a task, and I am sure she is indeed immensely stressed,” Igneous said with a nervous look on his face.

His uneasy tone was a dead give away. Rarely had Marble ever heard him use that tone, but when he did dire consequences were involved.

“Jawohl,” was all that Marble said. She crept back up the stairs and opened the door to their room where Lime was in bed crying into a pillow.

“Limestone,” began Marble.

Limestone looked up and met her sister’s gaze with teary eyes. “Not now, Marble. I just want to be alone.”

The pit within Marble’s breast grew.

“I understand but—”

“No! Please, just leave me alone.”

A sharp knife went through her chest, piercing her heart; not only were the demons molesting her soul and forming a bleak nothingness within her essence, but the demons stuck their forked tongues down her noose, whispering that she’s the reason Lime is upset. Her sister was breaking down and had been for awhile. She hated seeing Lime like this; she was the tough one, the protector. Yet here she was, broken down by the forces of life.

Marble sat outside of their room for about fifteen minutes. When she no longer heard crying she went back in to find Lime fast asleep. Marble placed a blanket on her and kissed her forehead before going to her own bed and falling soundly asleep. However; like the night before, she was again awoken by a trembling. When she looked across from her, she saw her sister’s bed was empty and it didn’t take long for Marble to know where Lime was.

The young one went downstairs and bolted straight to the bathroom, and when she finally arrived, she was met with a horrifying yet a familiar sight that sent a warm wave through her being.

Five opened wounds on Lime’s left arm, each leaking crimson bile. In her right hand was her tool of choice to open the wounds, the stiletto switchblade.

“LIMESTONE!?”

Limestone looked at the entrance and in Marble’s eyes was a scared young woman crying for help. Marble’s feelings of emptiness and anxiety all but disappeared; finally she could relate to someone and perhaps free her from her own demons of anxiety and self hatred, and no longer be a slave to self-mutilation.

Marble crept forward to her frightened sister, her breathing even, her vision full of hope and a burning light that offered a way out of the dark hole she was trapped in. Lime slowly backed away, trembling like a cheaply built building, her hearing slowly being deafened by the dark seeds that were now planted within her psyche. Things were growing black and all Lime could feel was cold wind blowing on her flesh. Sadly, unbeknownst to Marble, a different outcome would occur tonight. Lime reached at Marble and grabbed the collar of her shirt. Marble felt her heart sink , her teeth tap danced, and her arms stiffened.

“Leave me alone, you clingy annoying bitch!” Lime yelled before throwing Marble to the floor before running away.

As Lime ran off, Marble’s flimsy glass psyche shattered. CLINGY ANNOYING BITCH! repeated over and over in her mind as the black void took a firm grasp on her heart, and the anxiety raped the young one's mind, a mental pain perpetually stabbing her essence. Her only thoughts that weren't her sister’s stinging remark were ways of getting rid of the pain, some of which involved an eternal rest. Those thoughts briefly subsided when she saw Lime’s blade, the same illustrious blade she first used to free herself from the internal pain.

You caused all this! she thought as she got up and picked up the blade. You are the reason why I can’t be happy! You kept teasing me with little hints of freedom, but you could never finish the job and end my life! Perhaps it is me that is the fool, lying to herself, knowing full well I can’t end it like this.

She activated the blade and held her left arm over the sink. Light, or deep, I cannot end my fucking life! I want this pain to end. I want to fucking die, but like always I’m too weak to do so! I hate myself; I hate the pathetic woman I’ve become.

She flayed her arm, severely damaging her gray flesh and causing a considerable amount of blood to leak from her arm. Big Mac has Sugar Belle, Maud has Mudbriar, Pinkie has Cheese, Mom has Dad, Sunset has Wallflower, and I know Lime fucked at least once in her life!

She stabbed her arm once again and pulled back, ripping away at her skin. I can’t even whore myself out! I’ll always be alone, I’ll always be useless, I’ll always be a fucking subhu—”

“Marble,” came a voice.

Marble stopped; she was inches away from another vein.

“I-I’m sorry I hurt you. I love you. I…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” It was Limestone.

Marble panicked. Shit! Shit! SHIT! was all she could think. There was too much blood to cover up and her wounds were too noticeable to hide. As the door opened, the atmosphere became chilling and bleak. Her heart stopped, her hearing faded, and her breath ceased.

“But—” Lime stopped mid-sentence as she saw her sister engaging in the same horrific act that she was doing a few minutes ago. Marble and Lime looked at each other, eyes locked, both filled with utter terror in the cold, soulless environment.

Author's Note

1. Thanks to my editor Sonya for helping me out
   2.The bands listed are indeed real.
   
2. I will try to do more showing than telling, but for each characters background there will be more of a tell aspect.
   
3. I will not upload for awhile, as I am finishing another project on AO3, my profile is called Imaginative man 69 (Don't ask why i chose that name.)
   
4. Thanks for reading.